All language subtitles for The West Wing (1999) - S05E05 - Constituency of One (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 ImE)_track3_[eng]

Previously on The West Wing...

Come by tonight--
we can not talk some more.

Her mother wants
to take her back

to New Hampshire for a while.

What do you think?
I think her mom is right.

You have to handle things
for me a little while longer.

I trust you-- that's
why I hired you.

PRESIDENT:
You're not willing

to toss it overboard to win.

You're willing
to toss it overboard

to avoid disappointing Leo.

We created nine million jobs.
We created no jobs.

Granted, there's lots
of ways of looking
at the numbers, but...

If you work for an economist,
he'll tell you,

government doesn't create jobs;
business creates jobs.

Then they did it
on our watch.

Your point is?
This calendar's
every event,

every speech
the President's gonna give

over the next three months--
you don't want to spend

one day talking about
economic accomplishments?

Right now we're losing jobs.

Great, put that on
a bumper sticker.

You don't talk about
economic accomplishments
in a lousy economy.

So we put it
in a context.

You want people saying,

"Hey, thanks for
the nine million jobs.

I've got three of them, and I
can't make my house payments"?

What about Fridays?
We don't have any
events on Fridays.

Fridays don't count.
Why not?

No one watches the
Friday evening news.

No one reads
the Saturday papers.

No presidential events
on Fridays.

I can think of a few
assignment editors who'd
resent that remark.

( groans ):
Nothing on Fridays.

Look, you don't
need my input here.

I'm going to go home.

( sighs )

This is how we get past crisis
of the hour:

seize the agenda again.

As it is, I'm going
to have nightmares

about color-coded six-day weeks

with no
accomplishments.

You need to learn this.

I need to see my bed.

In fact, I'm thinking
about carrying a picture

( beeping )
of it in my wallet.

We've barely had
a message

since the campaign,
let alone since Zoey.

This is your life
the next three months.

7-4-3-1. Is that
in the OEOB?

I'll drop you
in Dupont Circle.
Okay.

You think we should
be touting economic
accomplishment.
I do.

Politics isn't about
past performance--

( beeping )
it's "what have you done
for me lately,

and where's my year's
supply of turtle wax."

I better return this.

It's someone looking for one
of your nine million jobs.

See you tomorrow.

Are you Will Bailey?

I could be. I mean, yes.

He's the one
who elected the dead guy.
He did the hard part.

What was that?
Dying.

Is that a joke?

Not really, no.
Am I in the right place?

Thanks for coming
on short notice, Will.
Mr. Vice President.

Something to drink?
Anything with caffeine.

Sir, I want to say
once again...

Forget about
the announcement speech.

Thank you.
I admire speechwriters.

They have to have
the tendency

to doubt and the
capacity to believe
in equal measure.

Why am I here, sir?

You're the President's voice.

You don't think I have
an interest in that?

At 12:15 on a weeknight, no.

Oh, I have to work
longer hours--

I'm playing
with a handicap.

Sir?
Spare tire

on the automobile
of government.

Heartbeat away from
having a heartbeat.

The story
of the two brothers.

The two brothers?
One went to sea;

one became Vice President--
neither was heard from again.

That's a new one.
I may need more help
than that dead guy

you got elected
in Orange County, Will.

I may need some political
life support myself.

I'm afraid I don't follow.

I'd like you to be

my communications director.

First senior-level hire
in the White House.

I-I'm flattered, sir,
but I'm not...

You don't think
I'm politician enough.
I didn't say that.

You play baseball coach
for a moment.

Two players run to first.

They both have the same time,

but one has perfect form,
the other, lousy form.

Which one do you pick?

The one with lousy form.

'Cause teach him
the right form...

And he beats the other guy--
it's a neat analogy...

I know I'm not
the best politician,

but here I am Vice President
of the United States.

Imagine what we could do
when you teach me

the right form.

Sir, I'm a special assistant
to the President.

Chief strategist and senior
counselor to the Vice President.

Are we playing poker?

I'm showing you my hand.

You're looking for
your own Toby Ziegler.

I'm looking for someone
who can beat Toby to first.

Thank you, sir,
but I'm not interested.

I like loyalty, Will,
I respect loyalty,

but you can run out the clock
on a Bartlet presidency

that, politically speaking,
is over.

You can finish something

that you never started
in the first place.

You can run around
those little hallways

until Toby turns out the lights.

Or you can shape
the next presidency
from the ground up.

Total access.
Coach of the team.

Of course, I understand
if you're not interested.

DONNA:
Did you read it?

I'm not reading it.

There's some new stuff
since the early edition.

It's a great piece.
It's a puff piece,

so I'll return the
reporter's calls,
which I won't.

"A one-man congressional
majority..."

"Bartlet's legislative
juggernaut..."
It's an embarrassment.

You should be stealing
everyone's copies before
they can read it.

And burning them
on the South Lawn?
I'm serious.

Save one for my mom.

She'll be proud
of her little birthday boy.

Look, don't... no gifts,

no parties--
just another day, okay?

A coffee and...
Yeah, with a... thing.

You have senior staff
in five minutes,

Ward Room at 7:45.

You're not wearing a tie.

Like your suit, though.
Thanks.

Liked it when you wore it
yesterday, too.

Speaker's trying
to roll us again

on stimulus.

This story about me
sending a congressman

a dead fish wrapped
in newspaper--

the Post get
this from you?
No.

Coffee and a...
Yeah.

WOMAN:
Great piece in the Post.

Your clipping service
must be busy today.

Why, was there
something in the... paper?

101st senator--
is that like being
the fifth Beatle?

MAN:
Nice profile.

Yeah, I was the one
who played sitar

and made
procedural changes.

So, listen, Mr. Rip-
up-the-Constitution-

and-behold-my
awesome-powers...

I got a meeting.
Mr. Cloture-motions-

flow-like-blood-through-
my-gavel-wielding-veins.

Okay, I don't think veins
wield gavels, but...

HHS Appropriations?
What about HHS
Appropriations?

How far under the budget cap
was our original submission?

Why don't you get that
from Legislative Affairs?

'Cause I'm getting it
from you.

If the First Lady's got some
last-minute budget requests,

run it through the process.

The First Lady's got nothing.

'Cause our budget's locked,

and she's a sensitive topic
around here.

Or... not around here,
as the case may be.

It's nothing, Josh.
Nothing's nothing.

I'll get it from
Legislative Affairs.

( laughs ):
Don't. Come on.

LARRY:
Nice profile, Josh.

I didn't even talk
to them,

if that's what...

Hats off to the
Jewish-Connecticut Corleone.

I'm still trying to
make the cover of
Jane's Defense Weekly.

Hey, that fish story...

LEO:
Hey, let's talk
about the DNC poll.

We got the first
half-sample.

President's job approval's down
to 49%.

Abbey's 11 points higher.

TOBY:
Personal approval's
completely separated

from job performance.

JOSH:
But "strong leader"
is down,

"handling of economy," way down.

LEO:
People don't feel safe

with what's going on
in the world,

don't feel economically secure.

The Republicans are pounding us
every day

and people don't think
the President's leading.

TOBY:
They love him
at a barbecue,

not so much with
the nuclear launch codes.

JOSH:
We're not the ones

who voted down
the stimulus package.

LEO:
Our job's to get
that message out,

and we're going to this
like in the campaigns.

Toby's working up
a new message calendar.

When the President
signs off,

we treat it like
it's chiseled stone.

No more lurching
from issue to issue.

No more governors'
brother-in-laws' bar mitzvahs

driving the schedule--
just our positive message,

opportunity and security,
one day at a time.

Except Fridays.
LEO:
What?

TOBY ( sighs ):
217 military promotions

that were supposed to pass
the Senate last night.

What about them?
A senator
put them

on anonymous hold.

A hold on military promotions?

It's Chris Carrick.
Why would
a conservative

Democrat block
military promotions?

JOSH:
He threatened it
last week

when he stiffed us on the
stimulus package-- it's Carrick.

So much for opportunity
and security.

A fight in our own party
over the military.

It's not gonna be a fight.
I got this one.

No, I'll handle it.

Thanks, everybody.

I can handle Carrick.

The President's ready

in the Residence.

It's not a thing.

It's just you're a little hot

after last week.
I want to be sure...

This is what I do.

You got time to wrangle
a senator on the Hill?

Okay, thanks. Hey,
I got a message from
Legislative Affairs.

HHS Appropriations--
for some reason they're
reopening the bill.

HHS Appropriations?

You know about this?

No. No, I don't.

I'll call them--
it's probably nothing.

Yeah, it's probably nothing.

Donna, I need Amy.
What's wrong?

Just... I-I need Amy.

LEO:
Morning, Mr. President.

What's the problem
with the Belgian elections, Leo?

Is this the start
of a riddle?
The intelligence briefing.

The anti-immigrationists
are gaining in the north--
doesn't say why or how.

You want more
on the Flemish Bloc.

I want a CIA briefer here
in person every morning.

Why'd I get
this on paper?
You never have briefers

in the family quarters, sir.
Your rule is...

That was Abbey's rule.
Yes, sir.

What's next?
Budget review at 9:00,

and Toby needs your sign-off
on the message calendar.

Yeah.

LEO:
We can't
let this sit

over the weekend--
it's been months

since we had a clear
message coming out
of this building.

Months since we reduced

a $2 trillion government
to poll-tested bromides.

You think James Madison
ran his presidency

off a message calendar?

Probably, yes.

"Life" on Mondays,
"liberty" on Wednesdays,

"shaking off the yoke

of the tyrannical monarch"
on alternate Thursdays.

Toby needs your
okay this morning.

One more thing--
HHS Appropriations.

Remember our violence
prevention initiative?

Republicans gutted it,
'cause "domestic violence

isn't a public health issue,"

as if spousal abuse
were part of the Atkins Diet.

The Republicans just
reopened the bill and
added back every penny.

Just like that.

We'll get you more
on the Flemish thing.

Five minutes with Amy?

Take ten-- you're over 21.

The Post said you're
the 101st senator.

I'm impressed.

You read block-letter
headlines.
What's that mean?

I used to work in the Senate,
I do the President's

Senate politics--
I got some sway
down there is all.

You once sent
a Congressman
a dead fish?

He tried to bottle up
the fisheries bill.

It wasn't...
Is this an inquisition?

Bet he's glad it wasn't
a whaling bill.

I thought you were gonna
gather up those profiles.

Lord Bullingdon's having
a field day over here.

We had a rule today--

no gifts.
Your birthday's
not for you,

it's for the rest of us.

How's that work, exactly?
Well, we get to,

I don't know, eat cake
and wear pointy little hats.

Just don't tell anyone, okay?

I don't want one of those
sad-sack parties

in the Indian Treaty Room
where some guy from the OMB

drones on about how I saved
the aquatic weed subsidy.

Amy doesn't have time
for this morning.

Tell her to make time.
I'm going to the Hill.

RYAN:
What's on the Hill?

Some buildings and a big statue
of a guy with a beard.

I meant the meeting.

You don't get to know
everything, okay?

This isn't an all-access pass.

You're not backstage
at a Stones concert.

You ever been backstage
at a Stones concert?
No.

It's pretty great.

( loudly ):
I want him sorting mail.

TOBY:
When consumer confidence drops
seven points instead of two...

It's not the economy.

That's not why our
poll numbers are down.

Ben again on five.

Yeah, you can stop
giving me his messages.

Plus, Leo's ready
for the prebrief.

Who's Ben?

A guy I lived with
for six months.

I didn't know you lived
with a guy named Ben.

There's a lot you don't know
about me.

Like what?

Well, that's about it, really.

You don't want his calls?

Well,
if I take his call,

of course it would be great
to hear his voice--

he has this low,
husky radio voice--

and we'd be swapping memories
and old jokes

and pet names and then
it's the frisky little e-mails

and pretty soon it's, you know,
a weekend in Little Washington

and the late-night phone calls

and that's when we start
to get on each other's nerves,

'cause we get
on each other's nerves.

He has this thing
where he twirls his hair and...

( taps fingers on desk )

Anyway, the bloom's off the rose
and I don't call as much

and it's the guilt
and cherchez la femme

and why-didn't-it-work-out-
the-first-time

and it's ten years
till we talk again.

That was like a bad
romantic comedy in 15 seconds.

Straight to video.

What are you getting
from the gaggle?

Latest drop in
consumer confidence.

WILL:
Pivot to the stimulus package.

Our new version
will be introduced next week.

Drop it back
in Congress's lap.

Why is the President
dragging his feet

on naming a new
Chairman of the Joint Chiefs?

The President
is making his decision.

Admiral Fitzwallace
is still on the job--

one Chairman at a time.

What else?

Reuters has a report
that we scrubbed
two paragraphs

from an EPA report.

Scrubbed two paragraphs?

The EPA's report
on energy needs.

Reuters is saying
the White House
scrubbed language

critical of the
coal industry.

What midlevel lackey tampers
with an independent report?

You're looking at him.

I didn't mean to...

Are we defending coal?

Reuters has the
original draft.

We have to do
a total mea culpa.

Make it
a one-day story.

We're not
"culpa-ing" anything.

"The report will reflect
administration views."

That's not going to fly
if they have the draft.

There's
a threshold...

"The report will reflect
administration views."

That's the line.

What else?

Great. Thanks.

You worried about
that EPA thing?

I'm worried about anything

that takes us
off our new message.

Now that we've officially
settled on our new message.

Right.

What's our new message?

Some changes
since last night.

The President signed off.

I thought I'd have another
chance to weight in.

You're going to have
a big role in this.

Hand-coloring copies
of the calendar?

I need you to sit down
with the Labor Secretary,

the Commerce Secretary,
the Vice President,

walk them through
their assigned economic
speeches, then...

That's a bad idea.

We've been over this.

If the President's stumping

for the new stimulus package
on Tuesday,

you look at the calendar,

then the Labor Secretary
also talks...

I mean the Vice President.

We can't pretend
he's another Cabinet flunky.

You're right-- Cabinet flunkies
have job responsibilities.

He's a Constitutional officer.

We should get his input
up front.

I'm not interested
in his input.

What if he doesn't like it?

You want me in the
meeting with you?

No.
Give him his
assignment.

I don't care
if he likes it.

You work for the
President, so does he.

MAN:
Mr. Lyman.

I get it: Idaho.

That's funny.

Do you have an appointment
with the senator?

No, but he'll
want to see me.

Josh Lyman
from the White House.

Go on in.

CARRICK:
I'm surprised the White House
sent Senator Lyman.

You can't block
military promotions.

We went over this last week.

We can't have
an intraparty fight

over this when the Republicans
are thrashing us on security.

Oh, I don't want a fight.

These are career officers
who have risked their lives

in the Gulf, in Africa.

We'll keep our promises
to our troops

once we keep our promises
to each other.

What promises are those?

The MB-827 triple-
missile launcher.

The MB-827?

To be built
in my state of Idaho.

I'd like a signed
letter of intent today.

Senator?

Yes.

One problem with
the MB-827 launcher.

What's that?

It doesn't work.

It's a missile
defense system that
can't hit missiles.

It's a $270 million slingshot

the Pentagon doesn't want.

Let's talk about why
you want to build that
launcher.

No, let's talk about
what you're going to do

for our underpaid, underpromoted
fighting men and women.

Not a damn thing
till I get my launcher.

And when were you promised...?

Seven years ago.

Under the last President?

Right.

Okay, uh, a bunch of things
have fallen by the wayside

since then, like communism.

You want your promotions,
you'll give me my launcher.

If you want to come
asking for party favors,

you shouldn't have voted
with the Republicans

for five straight years.

You shouldn't have voted
with them last week

to kill our stimulus package.

You tell Leo McGarry

I look forward to a letter
approving the MB-827.

( sighs )

Nancy, I want these to go
back to the Staff Secretary.

Absolutely,
Mr. President.
Thank you.

Did you hear
about the Chief Justice?

What now?

He was presiding over a
moot court competition

at NYU-- thought he was
at the real Supreme Court.

Which is fine if we can get NYU
to rule on the second amendment.

He's losing it, Leo.

It's a lifetime appointment.

That doesn't mean he gets
to decompose on the bench.

Are we taking care of Carrick?

Josh is.

There's more
on HHS Appropriations.

Violence prevention's
now been doubled.

It went from gutted to doubled?

200 million.

Is this a budget problem?

Legislative Affairs
are concerned.

It could cut into bioterrorism,
global pandemics.

200 million's real money.

Thank you. You think
the Republicans

want to make it so expensive
we'll cut it ourselves?

It's possible.
Are they trying

to outflank us on the left?

I can't see why.

Let's find out.

RYAN:
So, Josh
is against the launcher

'cause he thinks it's all
make-work jobs for Idaho.

Yes.
But he supports workfare,

which gives people
make-work jobs?

Find me
a military contractor

on food stamps
and we'll talk.

Josh's guidance
on the DSCC.

Thanks.

So, uh, I'm giving Josh
an expensive birthday present.

You can't-- you're
his subordinate.

That's a violation
of ethics rules.

Then I'm giving it to you.

You'd better believe
you're my subordinate,

and I don't think you even
bought a present at all.

There's a party

at the Australian
Embassy later.

Are you..?

No.

It's just, uh...

There aren't
enough phone books

in the District of Columbia
for you to stand on.

How about suburban Maryland?

How's Carrick?

He wants the MB-827
missile launcher.

The one
that doesn't work.

Yeah.

The 97th Airborne's a stickler
for that kind of thing, too.

I got a breakdown
on the promotions.

Two dozen are headed
for field rotations in the Gulf.

If they're not promoted,
they can't leave for the Gulf.

Carrick wants
that launcher.

He wants a letter today.

I'm going to send Fitzwallace
to cut a deal.

Call it his farewell tour.

I've got a better idea.

No Fitzwallace,
no letter, no deal.

Five years he's voted
with the Republicans.

Just last week
he switched his vote

and jammed us
on the stimulus package.

That's why we're in this mess.

We want to keep rolling over
for him?

He's a Democrat from Idaho.

They use Democrats
for target practice up there.

Sometimes,
he's got to lean to the right.

Sometimes? We give
him everything,

he screws us every time.

This guy makes Machiavelli look
like a social worker.

We need his vote
when we bring stimulus up again.

We need it
on our whole agenda.

So we reward him for rolling us?

That'll keep him in line?

We can't afford
an ugly fight right now.

Unless we want more and more
of them.

We've got to stop feeding
the hand that bites us, Leo.

No Fitzwallace,

no letter, no deal.

I need your proxy on this.

Okay.

But go easy.

That, uh,

"one-man majority" stuff?

You know they didn't
get that from me.

I don't care about the
Washington Post Style section.

Take care of Carrick.

Call Carrick's
Chief of Staff--

the launcher's
off the table.

Tell him... tell him
there's no such thing

as a free "launch."

That's cute.

Just made it up.

Amy can see you
from 1:10 to 1:15.

How about telling
me I can see her?

I've got five
minutes for her,

and she can wait
in my office all
day if necessary.

Amy can see you
from 1:10 to 1:15.

Fine.

Is this a private
birthday celebration?

Need some crisp one
dollar bills and a smock?

It's a meeting.
Would you...?

I don't
do birthday celebrations.

Childhood trauma,
I presume?

My seventh birthday,

my parents hired
a birthday clown.

Big nose, seltzer bottle,
the whole drill.

And he just did all his tricks
for my sister.

She even got to keep
one of the floppy shoes.

Okay, I wouldn't tell
that to anyone else.

Tell Amy's office
I'm on my way.

Just copy this and get me
a committee roster. Thanks.

Nice profile, Josh.

JOSH:
Thanks.

So this guy... ( chuckles )

calls his mother.

He says, "Mom, how are you?"

She says, "I'm terrible.

I haven't eaten
in 38 days."

"Why haven't you eaten
in 38 days?"

She says, "I didn't
want my mouth to be full

in case you should call."

You're telling me
to call my mother?

I'm telling you a joke.

What's the First Lady doing?

Why do you need lists of
Congressional committees?

I'm Amy Gardner.

I work for Abigail Bartlet.
Have we met?

She's making an end run
around the budget process.
You're not supposed to...

I'm not supposed to what,
run her office?

Leo's onto whatever
you're doing

with HHS Appropriations.

I practically lied about it.

Next time, I'm not going to.

Am I going to come back
from Mess

and find a horse's head
on my desk?

Don't tempt me.
You got a problem,

go ahead and call...
Oh, like I'm going

to get between
the Bartlets.

Your job is to run it
through the process.

You're afraid

we're going to get called

into the principal's office.

I am the principal's office.

Call your mother.

Thanks.

REPORTER:
C.J.,
is the President concerned

that rising joblessness will
affect his political standing?

C.J.:
The President's only concern
is passing his stimulus package

to get more Americans
in good jobs.

He's hopeful Congress
will move his new version

to the floor immediately.

Mark?

Does the President
wish his press

were as good
as Josh Lyman's?

We've set up a whole wing
in the White House

to handle his paparazzi.

I'm just hoping
for a decent table at the Palm.

( laughter )
Yes?

Sources at the EPA
say the White House

censored language from a report
critical of coal-based energy.

Does the White House
feel that's appropriate?

The White House feels
the EPA report

will reflect
administration views.

Not the EPA's views.

Their draft cited stunted trees,
poisoned fish and wildlife

as just some of the
problems with coal.

Hasn't this
President always...?

The final report will lay out
views on a range of issues.

MARK:
Why'd the White House tamper
with an independent report?

I've addressed that.

REPORTER 2:
No, you haven't.

Why is
all independent analysis

subject
to White House censorship?

I don't accept your premise.

Doesn't EPA have
the right...?

I'm sure you all look forward
to reading the actual report.

I've read both drafts--

the censored one
and the original.

Are you defending...?
If there was interference

with an independent report,
that was obviously a mistake.

Margaret!

But I assure you,
the final report

will reflect
administration policy. Sally?

( reporters continue
speaking in background )

( softly ):
I'll see him.

If there's something
you want to say, say it now.

Don't take it
into the room.

They had both drafts.

There was
nothing I could do.

I gave you the line.
Who said you could drop it?

Coal is the dirtiest
energy on the planet.

That's worth censoring
out of a report?

What wasn't in that report
was any mention of clean coal.

Any mention of...
Clean coal's an industry myth.

They turn it into gas and steam.

It's better for the...

Clean coal's like saying
"healthy botulism,"

"child-safe plutonium..."
Tell me
the alternative,

short of getting people
to stop using electricity.

I don't know,
neither does the EPA,

but they're trying to tell
the truth and we gagged them,

and who gave us the right?

Are we surprised
our polls are down?

We have a responsibility
to the country.

We can't just spin
any line we make up.

You have a responsibility to me.

When I give you the line,
that's the line.

Not when no one
will believe it.

You're going to put out
a statement in your own name.

It's going to say
what you should have said

in that briefing room, that
we stand behind that report.

You don't want me to do that.

I do.

That's saying I wasn't speaking
for this White House.

You weren't.

On my desk within the hour.

PRESIDENT:
Violence prevention jumped

another 30 million in an hour?

It's a bidding
war, sir.

Do we know why it's happening?

Well, do we
or don't we?

Direct request
from the First Lady

to the members of
the HHS Appropriations
Subcommittee, sir.

After Zoey's...

she's hugely popular,

even in the
Republican Conference.

First Lady's office
requested it

so they're tripping
over each other to fund it.

What does this mean
for the CDC budget?

They're cutting almost
everything to make room.

Bioterror,
infectious diseases.

LEO:
You want to call
the First Lady?

No.

Would you like us to work
with the Subcommittee...?
Don't do anything.

Thanks.
Thank you, sir.

Thank you,
Mr. President.

Don't touch that.

Don't touch that either.

Your family's had a lot
of press attention, right?

My great-great-
great-granddad
whipped up a lather

when he annexed Cuba.

I meant
since Reconstruction.

Yeah, we get some press.

How do you,
you know, deal with it?

I never read any of it.

Really?

Actually, I read all of it.

So answer the question.

Let's just say the
biggest enemy of truth

isn't the lie, it's the myth.

Meaning what?

Meaning I'd be better off
if I never read any of it.

( knocking on door )

Hey.

Happy Birthday, by the way.

Yeah, look,
I really don't want you making

a big deal out of it.
I was all done.

Good.

I walked the Minority Leader
through the message calendar.

Triplehorn
ought to be jazzed--

his pension stuff's on there.

He tells me we're
not giving Carrick
a missile launcher

he very much wants.

The Minority Leader
wants us to cave, right?

If he could
manage his own caucus

we wouldn't have this problem.

Well, Carrick's vulnerable
in Idaho.

We can't win back the Senate
without him.

You're suggesting we build

a multi-million-dollar
heap of garbage

the DOD doesn't even want?

Well, sometimes they find
other uses for the technology.

I-I...
Great, they can turn it
into a toaster

that doesn't make toast.

This has zero to do
with defense technology.

The Minority Leader thinks
we could lose our best chance

to get him on the new stimulus
package, on our tax bill.

It's a bluff.

49% job approval isn't the time
to go calling bluffs.

We got to get off
this, onto our issues.

The stuff that this guy
has already bilked us for

out of a state
of about nine people...

He's an Idaho Democrat.

He's an endangered species.

If he needs a little pork...

The Volcanic Soil Museum,

the Canola Oil
Fuel Cell Initiative...

It's low-fat pork.

The Shakespeare
in Military Communities Program.

I mean, what the hell's wrong
with Hemingway?

Maybe we cut our losses.

That's easy
for you to say.

I'm the one who lost him
on stimulus.

I'm the one who has to get him
on our agenda.

I'm the one
lacing up concrete shoes

on the front page of the Post.

Been on a... have you been
on a fishing trawler recently?

Donna!

I'm fine on Carrick.

Do your job,
I'll do mine.

It stinks in here.

It's like working
in Moby Dick's gym locker.

What do you expect?
There was a fish here all night.

All night?

Amy left it last night.

Amy?

( typing )

Mr... Mr. President.

We're doing pretty well
on violence prevention.

Yes, sir.

They were going to gut it,

First Lady
really turned it around.

I hope you don't...
we probably should've

run it through, um,
Legislative Affairs.

Nah, I'm not going to have Abbey
jump through hoops.

You know intimate
partner violence

affects more people
than breast cancer.

How many calls today?

Sir?
The First Lady,

how many calls did she make

to members
of the Subcommittee today.

No calls.

She's hiking
in the White Mountains.

She made no calls,
you made them.

It's a cause she believes in...

Don't tell me what she believes.

I'm telling the Congress...

My wife is not
a budget appropriation.

She's not a line.

Don't put words in her mouth.

Don't treat her
like she's your blank checkbook.

Due respect, sir,
it's what she'd want.

She has to be here
to want things...

and you don't have
to be here at all.

Sit down.

WOMAN:
I thought you wanted

the economic events
shaded green.

I said blue. Blue.

Green is the
color of money.

This is about
people's lives.

What color are those?

Just stick
to black and white.

In fact, quill
and parchment's okay.

I need this
for the Treasury Secretary.

Did you get
the VP's sign-off?

Not exactly.

What did you get, exactly?

He offered me a
job last night

as his chief strategist.

( laughs )

What's funny?

Russell's an empty cowboy suit,

you work for the leader
of the free world.

I work for a guy
who works for a guy

who works for the leader
of the free world.

Treasury Secretary's ready
in the Roosevelt Room.

The calendar.

I need the calendar.

He has private lunches
with the President,

direct access.

He's not taking orders
from us.

What did you tell
Russell about the job?

I didn't
tell him anything... yet.

You're not considering it.

The clock's running out.

You are not considering it.

How many months are we going
to spend making calendars?

You think I want
to be making calendars?

You think I like being
in a PR dogfight with Congress,

writing banner copy
for photo ops?!

The Treasury Secretary's
waiting.

And did you want
all this flush-right?

Calendars aren't...

( sighs )

It's a calendar.

Make it look like a calendar.

How hard is that?

This is the NBA.

You don't go back
to shirts and skins.

( sighs )

"Gee, Amy, looks like
you've had a tough day.

"Why don't you tell me
all about it

while I give you
a foot massage?"

Okay, let's talk about the fish.

You don't understand
this building.

Not being an architect
or a steamfitter.

I'm talking about a code,

an ethos you don't understand.

Josh, I was just...

The Post profile, the
"legislative juggernaut,"

all those anecdotes,
all those quotes came from you.

Happy Birthday.

We don't glorify ourselves.

How is the President going
to feel

when I've got better press
than him?

How's every punk congressional
staffer going to feel

when I'm taking victory laps the
week after losing a key vote?

They'll feel like you're not
going to lose the next one.

We don't advertise.

It's not the code.
It's not the code

to look strong
to your constituents?

To build yourself up so...

The only constituency that
matters in this building

is the constituency of one--
the guy in the round room,

and that's who
you and I work for.

I came here to work on issues,

not to be part
of a messianic cult.

You serve the issues
by serving the man.

Well, I'm pretty sure

the man just revoked
my parking privileges.

What're you talking about?

I'm pretty sure I was just fired

by the President
of the United States

for doing my job.

HHS Appropriations.

Sort of.

Apologize.

You've got to go apologize.

I've got a constituency of one,
too, Josh, but it's me.

Hang on.

Just hang on a
second, okay?

Senator Carrick held up
another 56 promotions.

What?

The Army Secretary called.

He wants to set up
a meeting.

Unless the meeting's
to strap Chris Carrick

to his idiot missile launcher

and fling him headfirst
into an ICBM--

which he'll miss-- then...

The Army Secretary's
concerned

if this becomes public...
I'm making it public.

You are?

I'm leaking to every newspaper
in the known universe

that Carrick's blocking
military promotions,

that he's doing it

for a hunk of pork barrel,
defense-industrial scrap metal.

You're sure
that's a good...?
I'm calling his bluff.

I'm making him
crawl down here on his knees.

I'll be in the press office.

( sighs )

Sorry about before.

You have a future here.

We should talk about it.

I'd like to.

TOBY:
My portfolio, the speeches,
the day-to-day,

I'm going to give it to you.

You're leaving?

I'm stepping back
to do big-think--

work on the legacy.

You're never going
to give up the job.

You're not capable
of giving it up.

You could move from
Pennsylvania Avenue

to the State
of Pennsylvania and...

It's a Commonwealth.

Fine, I'm trying to...
We'll figure that out.

I don't want your job.

Why not?

'Cause Bartlet's never going

to finish the job he started.

Name an issue, you're still
clawing your way back.

Someone has to be ready
to take the handoff.

You took the Russell job.

This isn't a line on a resume.

None of us...

you don't walk away.

We're on the same team.

Yeah, well, maybe we'll
print up T-shirts.

( knocking )

Your statement on
the coal thing?

It just went out.

There's a typo in the...

Carol caught it.

Okay.

Is that all?

I don't like coal
any more than you do.

But sometime tomorrow,

we're going to get the full
results of that poll,

and I'm going to have to fix
the President a drink

and tell him his numbers
are crumbling--

that the dogs don't like
the dog food-- on the eve

of a big budget fight.

I know.

We attack
the coal industry,

and however-many thousand
coal miners

and what's our answer?

Nuclear? Drill
in the Arctic?

40% unemployment
in West Virginia?

No.

Like it or not, we're
the Saudi Arabia of coal.

Coal's what we've got.

The EPA's an
independent agency, Leo.

The day we don't get blamed
for their screw ups,

that's when we count
'em as independent.

I disagree.

Okay.

And holding your line

makes it a two or three-day
story at the least.

The whole room thinks we screwed
up whether we admit it or not.

You made that point.

I appreciate your apology,

but if I'm going to fulfill
my duty to the country,

I don't just need to know
what your thinking.

I need to know that
you're listening to me

I am...
!
when I say you made

a mistake.

I'm not apologizing to you.

I'm telling you
my thinking
as a courtesy.

But you work for me.

When I make a decision,
that's the decision.

If you can't back it up,
don't go in the Briefing Room.

We're here to serve the country.

We are the country.

Mr. President,
Amy Gardner's here.

Thanks, Charlie.

The Flemish Bloc is
gaining in the north.

Excuse me, sir?

The Flemish Bloc,
ultra-nationalists in Belgium.

Skinheads, really, neo-nazis.

They're wearing
three-piece suits,

speaking in coded discourse now

instead of angry chants, and
they're gaining in the north.

When everyone wears
the same suit,

how does anyone know
which side they're
on anymore?

You asked to see me,
Mr. President.

You're not fired.

Abbey would choose you

over me anyway.

I think it's best for me
to leave, sir.

What I did today,
lobbying, prodding,

prying money out of that
HHS Subcommittee,

that's what I'm good at.

I wasn't made to serve at
someone else's pleasure.

I don't think my staying would
please anyone anyway.

She didn't...

Um, I didn't talk
to Abbey about this.

Zoey told me she was hiking.

This building's not very
conducive to relationships, sir.

I'll call back the members of
the Subcommittee before I leave.

Tell 'em the First Lady wants

violence prevention
fully funded.

$100 million?

Make it 110.

( stubs out cigarette )

You were looking for me?

What did you want to talk
about with the President?

Did I forget
the secret password?

We talked about my
giving up Communications,

leaving it to Will
and focusing on big-picture.

This is not the time.

When will it be the time?

Message of the day,
top of the news hour,

our second term and we're
acting like a losing campaign.

You're not going in
there to lecture him.

Stop protecting him.

It's my job to protect him.

It's your job to get us
back on message.

Will can do it.
I'll supervise him.

You supervise him now.

What does that matter?

It matters 'cause I need you
doing what you're doing now.

I'm holding this together

with scotch tape
and baling wire.

We have an economic policy

held together with scotch tape
and baling wire.

FDR built the middle class
in a hundred days.

How many days
do we even have left?

49%. We can't start
another New Deal.

How about fighting
for the old one,

instead of haggling
with Republicans

over how much to cut?

We created
nine million jobs.

Now they're disappearing.

Outsourcing, downsizing,
buyouts.

They build TVs in Mexico
for a dollar a day,

on dirt floors
with cardboard walls...

And that's our fault?

It's on our watch, Leo.

Where's our hundred days?

Where's our Great Society?

Where's our New Frontier?

Somebody's got to do what
we came here to do.

Those jobs aren't coming back.

We lose or cave every battle
we have with Congress,

and we have a calendar,

not a plan.

Will's going to work
for the Vice President.

I'm asking the President
not to let him.

He told Russell he could
have him. It's done.

You got a problem
with your job?

I could use one of those
ergonomic chairs.

Never mind.

Hey, anything from Amy?

I left messages for her
everywhere to come see you.

Okay.

This isn't about
the dead fish?

Not exactly, no.

What happened?

I think she's been
fired-- she thinks so.

I-I kind of unloaded on her.

Josh...

She'll be... ah,
I don't know
what she'll be.

Find her.

Forget about budget bills
and poll samples

and missile launchers--
go find her.

What else have I got?

Senator Carrick's
in the Roosevelt Room.

Chris Carrick's here?

Now?

CARRICK:
Josh.

Senator.

Well, that was quite
a press coup,

telling the Idaho papers

about my anonymous hold.

What can I do for you?

You know what?
Absolutely nothing.

I've released
the military promotions.

I can't defend that
to the people of Idaho.

I hope that lesson
won't be lost

when our new stimulus package
hits the floor.

Oh, it won't be.
Good.

Josh, I need one
last favor from you.

What's that?

I've got my own letter here.

I'd like you to personally

deliver that
to the President.

What's this?

It's my letter
of resignation

from the Democratic Party.

Come again?

I'm running as a Republican

in my next election.

You're switching parties

'cause we won't give you a
launcher that doesn't even...

The launcher is
a deterrent.

The launcher says we're serious

about perfecting
missile defense,

so rogue governments don't
build missile programs.

You can't be serious...

Building it is
more important than
whether it works.

We don't want it to ever have
to work.

We can't win back
the Senate without Idaho.

We can't pass
the tax bill,

the new stimulus package.

I'll get you a meeting
with Fitzwallace.

A meeting with the President.

I don't work for the President.

I don't work for you.

I work for the people of Idaho.

You're leaving the party be...

this is 'cause of me?!

I'm not leaving
'cause of you.

But you made it
a whole lot easier.

Josh.

Leo wants you
in the Mural Room.

ALL:
Surprise!

Happy birthday!
Happy birthday!

* Happy birthday to you

* Happy birthday to you

* Happy birthday, dear Josh...