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1
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♪
2
00:00:13,120 --> 00:00:14,360
[Recorded]
Hi, it's Janet.
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00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:15,880
I'm probablyavailable right now,
4
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:18,040
but couldn't be holedtalking to you.
5
00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:19,880
[Beep]Janet, it's Gemma.I haven't slept a wink.
6
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,680
Have you left for London yet?
7
00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:24,120
Promise to send me lotsof pictures of you and your
8
00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:26,080
[sing-song voice] boyfriend.
9
00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:29,000
And you have totell me who it is.
10
00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:30,760
[Beep]
Seamus: Hey, it's me.
11
00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:32,440
Listen, don't come to the flat.
12
00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:33,920
Frankie hasn't dropped offher keys yet.
13
00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:35,600
Don't want you bumpinginto each other.
14
00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:37,800
I'll meet you at the airport.Much more romantic.
15
00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:39,440
I can't wait to see you.
16
00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:41,160
[Beep]
Gemma: Okay, one more guess.
17
00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:43,160
Is it Paul McCartney?No, he's too old.
18
00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:44,920
Is it Mel Gibson?No, he's not English.
19
00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:46,680
Is it the --
20
00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:48,960
[Over P.A.] Hello.This is your captain speaking.
21
00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:52,400
We will shortly be startingour descent into London,
22
00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:55,480
where the weather is overcast
23
00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:57,840
and showers expectedthis afternoon.
24
00:00:57,960 --> 00:00:59,640
Whoo-hoo! London.
25
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:02,480
Yeah! Got a new boyie!
26
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:04,640
♪ Burn the bridges
as you've gone ♪
27
00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:07,360
What?♪ I'm too weak to fight ya
28
00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:09,080
Trays up, please.
29
00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:12,160
♪ I've got my personal hell
to deal with ♪
30
00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:15,000
♪ And then you say
31
00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:18,760
♪ "Walk my path,
wear my shoes ♪
32
00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:21,480
♪ Talk like that,
I'll be an angel" ♪
33
00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:24,080
♪ And things
34
00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:27,720
♪ Can only get better
35
00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:31,680
♪ Can only get better
36
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,680
♪ Now I found you
37
00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:36,880
♪ Things can only get,
can only get ♪
38
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:39,800
Hey, you.
Alright, mate?
39
00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:42,920
♪ Things can only get better
40
00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:47,000
Have you been drinking?Hmm? No.
41
00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:48,440
You taste
of Chardonnay.
42
00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:49,680
Oh, well, if you count
Chardonnay, then --
43
00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:51,240
[Laughs]
It's 8:00 in the morning.
44
00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:53,200
It's my first time in London.
Let me enjoy myself.
45
00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:57,240
No, it's good to see you.You, too.
46
00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:05,240
Mm. Okay.
Right. Okay.
47
00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:06,520
So, where are
we gonna go first?
48
00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:07,920
These are all the places
I want to see.
49
00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:09,720
You made a list?Yep. Buckingham Palace.
50
00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:11,200
No. No.Tower of London, Tower Bridge,
Covent Gardens.
51
00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:12,400
Mm. No.A Jack the Ripper tour.
52
00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:14,000
Oh, Primark
on Oxford Street.
53
00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:15,400
You're only here
for one day.
54
00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:16,880
Yes, and I want
to make the most of it.
55
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:18,160
I worked out a schedule.
56
00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:20,920
Is there room in the schedule
for a...
57
00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:22,800
What?A visit to Big Ben?
58
00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:24,640
Oh, I forgot about Big Ben.No, no, no.
59
00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:26,960
I mean a little...
[Clicks tongue] You know.
60
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:28,520
Did you just call
your penis Big Ben?
61
00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:29,760
Yeah.
62
00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:33,120
[Janet chuckles]
63
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,320
I've never given it
a nickname before. Quite fun.
64
00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:37,120
I see why other people
do it now.
65
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,560
[Jet engine roars]
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00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:43,120
♪
67
00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:45,880
Have to ask, have to ask,
what is going on with this hat?
68
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,520
What?
I always wear a hat.
69
00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:49,960
You never wore a hat
in Belfast.
70
00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:53,080
Okay, look, I just --
I-I don't want to be recognized.
71
00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:56,120
I just -- I don't want
any Fannigans ruining the day.
72
00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:57,920
Any what?
My fan base.
73
00:02:58,040 --> 00:02:59,240
The Fannigans.
Seamus O'Hannigan's fans.
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00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:00,480
The -- The Fannigans.
Mm.
75
00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:02,160
It's a...
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00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:04,880
Hm. [Chuckles]
77
00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,600
So, here,
how'd it go with Frankie?
78
00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:10,440
Oh, yeah.
[Clears throat]
79
00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:12,520
It was --
It was pretty rough.
80
00:03:12,640 --> 00:03:14,320
Mm. I can imagine.
81
00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:15,720
I hate break-ups.Me too.
82
00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:17,040
Did she cry?Do you know what?
83
00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:18,440
D-Do you mind if
we don't talk about it?
84
00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:20,000
I'm sorry. I -- It's --
[Clears throat]
85
00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:21,040
It's still pretty raw.
86
00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:22,880
Yeah, okay.
Yeah.
87
00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:29,200
Man: Where you off to?Mary-le-bone Road, please.
88
00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:31,880
Um, Marylebone Road.Thanks.
89
00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:34,160
Why are we going there?Oh, my God.
90
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:35,760
Is that you?
91
00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:39,400
Yeah, they're really
getting behind the show.
92
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:45,520
♪
93
00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:47,520
Seriously,
what -- where are we going?
94
00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:49,680
Oh, can you just, erm,
pull in here? Thanks.
95
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:53,400
♪
96
00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:55,800
[Indistinct chatter]
97
00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:57,680
Fuck off.
98
00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:02,680
♪
99
00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:03,800
You know,
I've actually met
100
00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:05,640
lots of these people
in real life.
101
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,560
You've met
Keanu Reeves?
102
00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:10,440
[Cellphone camera clicks]Er, that's Tom Hardy.
103
00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:12,800
Oh. [Laughs]
104
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,400
You've met Tom Hardy?
105
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:16,720
No, but I've met
Eddie Redmayne.
106
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,120
[Laughing]
Yeah, right, you have.
107
00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:21,120
John Boyega.
Huh?
108
00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:22,600
Helen Mirren.
109
00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:23,880
Hold on,
are you being serious?
110
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,880
Yeah. I've got her
phone number somewhere.
111
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,760
This is basically like
a dinner party around my place
112
00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:29,560
on a Tuesday night.Right, yeah.
113
00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:31,480
But have you met
The Rock?
114
00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:33,080
He's a ride.
115
00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:36,680
Can't stand The Rock.Ohhh. Love him.
116
00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:38,720
Seriously?Now, that's a real man.
117
00:04:38,840 --> 00:04:40,000
Ooh!
118
00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:41,680
Seamus: I reckon
I could take him.
119
00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:44,880
[Laughs]Put 'em up, big guy.
120
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,560
[Grunts]
121
00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:47,720
Excuse me, sir?
122
00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:49,320
Could you not do that,
please?
123
00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:50,880
Yeah, sorry. I was just
trying to prove a point
124
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,000
to my friend here,
who's -- She's gone.
125
00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:54,040
She was here.Mm-hmm.
126
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:55,480
I'm just -- One second.
127
00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:59,200
Ah, now, this
is where they'd put you.
128
00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:02,400
Is this it?
No Thatcher? No Blair?
129
00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:04,960
Mm, yeah. Nobody cares
about politics.
130
00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:07,560
How can you say that?
Politics is life.
131
00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:08,920
Life is about change,
132
00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:10,720
and -- and politics
is the engine.
133
00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:14,040
It drives
human progress.
134
00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:16,120
That's actually quite clever.
I should tweet that.
135
00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:18,400
The Fannigans'll
bloody love it.
136
00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:20,360
Politics isn't life.
137
00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:22,560
Your phone isn't life.
138
00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:24,840
This is life.
Mm.
139
00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:27,720
♪
140
00:05:27,840 --> 00:05:29,560
[Clears throat]
141
00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:30,800
Oh.
Sorry.
142
00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:32,680
We done?
143
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,440
We were just leaving.Okay. Thank you.
144
00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:36,280
Yeah.
Sorry.
145
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:39,200
[Both laugh]
146
00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:41,760
Hi.
147
00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:43,040
There you are.Driver: Thank you.
148
00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:45,760
Thanks.Can I get a coffee
on here?
149
00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:47,400
You ever been
on a bus before?
150
00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:48,720
Not for years.
151
00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:51,600
They don't sell coffee
on buses, you loon.
152
00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:55,000
So, I've had
a very exciting job offer.
153
00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:56,640
Oh, yeah?
What is it?
154
00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:58,640
It's a documentary series,
155
00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:02,840
big American broadcaster,
and I'll be presenting.
156
00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:05,400
[Cellphone chimes]
Oh, my God. That isexciting.
157
00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:08,600
America?
Whoo-hoo.
158
00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:09,880
Well, thank you.
159
00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:14,080
So, does that mean you have
to move to America?
160
00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:17,880
Well, it's actually
filming in Belfast.
161
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,960
What, like Belfast-Belfast?
My Belfast?
162
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,320
Yeah, it's about
The Troubles.
163
00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:22,800
Right.
164
00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:24,320
It's aiming to be
the definitive history
165
00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:25,360
of the conflict.
166
00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:26,760
A deep dive, as it were.
167
00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:28,760
And I was thinking
that you could help.
168
00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:30,400
[Car horn honking]
169
00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:32,320
Huh.
170
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:35,760
Alright. Come on, mate.
We're ready to go.
171
00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:38,880
[Engine rumbles]
172
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,840
So, we're planning
on interviewing all the major players --
173
00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:45,920
John Major, Tony Blair,
maybe even Bill Clinton.
174
00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:48,240
You gonna interview anyone
actually from Northern Ireland?
175
00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:50,200
Oh, yeah.
We'll talk to all sides.
176
00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:53,640
And maybe you could introduce me
to some loyalist terrorists.
177
00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:56,800
Not everyone from Northern
Ireland's a terrorist, you know?
178
00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:58,840
No, sorry.
Of course not.
179
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,880
Right.
180
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:04,440
♪
181
00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:05,720
[Bicycle bell dings]
182
00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:09,480
♪
183
00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,840
Seamus! Oh!
I love you!
184
00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:15,920
Oh, my God!
185
00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:18,360
So, is she
one of the Fannigans?
186
00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:22,640
Well, truthfully,
187
00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:25,000
the Fannigans were about
25 people on Reddit,
188
00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:27,720
but the numbers have been
going up every day.
189
00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:30,800
Getting recognized more and more
since the show's been on.
190
00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:32,880
It feels a bit weird.
191
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,520
So you might actually
be famous, then?
192
00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:37,680
Well...
Well, maybe London famous.
193
00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:40,120
Hmm.
194
00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:41,880
[Clears throat]
195
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:45,120
[Indistinct shouting]
196
00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:50,840
♪
197
00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:54,320
[Thunder rumbles]
198
00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:01,040
Ahh!
It's going down my neck![Janet laughs]
199
00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:02,480
Agh!
Whew.
200
00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:03,840
Here we are.
201
00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:07,240
[Clears throat]
202
00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:09,520
Hey, so I was thinking,
for research,
203
00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:12,000
we could talk about your direct
experience of The Troubles.
204
00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:14,280
[Scoffs] Most people weren't
really affected by it.
205
00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:15,600
[Scoffs]
Of course they were.
206
00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:16,840
I mean,
they must have been.
207
00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:18,160
Iwas affected by it,
208
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:19,680
and I-I didn't even
grow up there.
209
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,840
Er, how were you
affected by it?
210
00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:28,320
Well, okay, so, erm...
211
00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:32,560
Alright. I was -- I was in
the post office with my mum,
212
00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:34,160
must have been
about six.
213
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:35,680
Well,
it came on the news
214
00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:38,280
that this British soldier
had been killed in Belfast.
215
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:39,680
So the guy
behind the counter,
216
00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:44,320
when he -- when he hears
my mum's accent, he...
217
00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:48,720
he refuses to serve her,
and he said, erm,
218
00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:51,840
"Fuck off,
you Irish bitch."
219
00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:55,440
What'd your mum do?
220
00:08:55,560 --> 00:08:58,840
She just left
with her head down.
221
00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:00,840
She didn't speak
for the rest of the day.
222
00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:08,040
But I'm sure it was harder
if y-you were actually...
223
00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:10,240
Man: Ah, hello there.Two, please.
224
00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:11,840
Oh, I'll get these.No, no, it's alright.
I've got it.
225
00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:14,160
- Right.
- Yeah.
226
00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:15,720
Yep. Perfect.
Thanks very much.
227
00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:19,840
[Cellphone ringing]
228
00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:23,920
Frankie?
What's she ringing for?
229
00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:26,200
Oh, yeah, she...
230
00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:29,440
She probably just wants
to collect some of her stuff.
231
00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:33,080
You gonna ring her back?
Nah.
232
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:36,960
Welcome, everyone,
to hear a tale of Saucy Jack...
233
00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:39,320
[Cellphone rings]...and the terror he visited
234
00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:41,320
upon Ye Olde London Town.
235
00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:43,360
Follow me, if you dare.
236
00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:45,040
[Chuckles]
237
00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:48,800
[Cellphone rings]
238
00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:50,000
You okay?
239
00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:52,360
♪
240
00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:54,520
Oh, what's wrong?
241
00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:58,440
I didn't do it.
242
00:09:58,560 --> 00:10:01,120
I didn't break up
with Frankie.
243
00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:03,600
Annie Chapman
was the next victim.
244
00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:07,120
The bloodthirsty killer
had pulled out her intestines
245
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:09,080
and placed them
on her shoulder.[Crowd groans]
246
00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:10,880
I've done it
in my head.
247
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:12,120
In my head,
I'm with you.
248
00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:13,800
In my head,
I've broken up with her.
249
00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:15,320
Oh, that's good. We'll just
keep going out in your head.
250
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,160
Maybe if we get serious,
we could rent an apartment
251
00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:18,800
in that stupid
fucking hat.
252
00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:22,120
Oh, my God.
That's why you're wearing it.
253
00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:23,760
'Cause you can't be seen
in public with me.
254
00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:25,280
[Exhales sharply]
255
00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:26,800
Look,
I-I-I am gonna leave her.
256
00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:28,320
So why haven't you?Because I'm scared.
257
00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:30,960
Because I-I don't want
to be the bad guy, you know?
258
00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:33,120
I don't -- I don't want
to hurt her feelings.
259
00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:35,000
You have no problem hurting
mine, though, do you?
260
00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:36,840
[Cellphone rings]
261
00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:38,400
Are you gonna answer
that fucking phone?
262
00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:40,320
Look, please, Janet --Fuck off and leave me alone!
263
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:41,640
[Whispers]
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
264
00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:42,880
Apologies for
the colorful language.
265
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,000
Look, I just can't do
these kinds
266
00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:45,760
of public displays
of emotion.
267
00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:47,120
Frankie would never
behave like this.
268
00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:49,120
You fucking scare me.
I never --
269
00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:50,560
I never know what
you're gonna do next!
270
00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:52,200
Man: Hi, Seamus.The fuck are you looking at?
271
00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:53,480
Whoa.Jesus. Look, I'm sorry.
272
00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:55,160
I-I-I tried to break up
with her.
273
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:56,760
I just couldn't. I'm a coward!
You're not gonna do it.
274
00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:58,920
If you were gonna do it,
you would have done it by now.
275
00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:00,160
She can give you
things I can't.
276
00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:01,600
Like what?
Like...
277
00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:03,360
she can tell you how
to interview politicians.
278
00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:04,720
My producers do that.
279
00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:06,040
And she looks really good
on your arm
280
00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:07,400
on the red carpet
during film premieres.
281
00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:09,160
You'd look amazing
on a red carpet.
282
00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:10,760
I don't want to go
on a red carpet.
283
00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:12,240
I don't want my picture
in the papers.
284
00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:14,160
But that's my life.
That -- That --
285
00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:15,560
That's what
I want to share with you.
286
00:11:15,680 --> 00:11:16,720
Yeah, well, I don't want
that kind of life.
287
00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:18,960
Well, how could
we go anywhere?
288
00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:21,840
Exactly.
We can't.
289
00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:24,880
I was really excited
about today,
290
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,280
and this is shit.
291
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:28,840
London's shit!
Everything is turning to shit!
292
00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:30,800
It's not shit.
Look, I fucking loved today.
293
00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:33,600
I fucking loved Madame Tussauds.
[Chuckles]
294
00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:37,000
♪
295
00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:39,080
We're not meant
to be together.
296
00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:40,520
I'm not meant
to be with you.
297
00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:41,960
You know
that's not true.
298
00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:45,800
You didn't break up
with Frankie for a reason.
299
00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:47,640
That's a sign.It's not a sign of anything.
300
00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:50,280
You're just scared,
and -- and I'm scared, too.
301
00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:52,000
But, you know,
but we can do this.
302
00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:53,680
I'm gonna break up
with her now,
303
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:56,880
and then we'll be together,
and -- and that's it.
304
00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,200
From now on, we'll only be
honest with each other.
305
00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:03,360
No more secrets, okay?
306
00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:05,040
We could never be honest
with each other.
307
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:09,000
♪
308
00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:10,800
[Cellphone ringing]
309
00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:14,640
♪
310
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:22,280
[Ice shaking]
311
00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:25,040
[Frankie humming]
312
00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:26,920
[Door closes]
313
00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:29,800
[Sing-song voice] Seamus!
Is that you?
314
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:31,400
[Normal voice]
Did you get my voicemail?
315
00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:34,360
I have had
amazing news.
316
00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:36,920
Hi. Are you hungry?
Have you had lunch? Hi.
317
00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:42,920
I've been seeing someone else,
and I'm leaving you for her.
318
00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:48,440
I'm sorry.
It just sort of happened.
319
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:52,600
I'm not --
I've never done this before.
320
00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:54,320
[Frankie exhales deeply]Frankie?
321
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:55,400
[Bowl shatters]
322
00:12:55,520 --> 00:13:02,120
♪
323
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:08,680
♪
324
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:10,920
[Exhales deeply]
325
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,160
♪
326
00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:16,200
[Humming]
327
00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:18,080
So, who is it?
328
00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:19,840
Is that important?
329
00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:21,720
It's not Vivian, is it?No, it's not Viv. No.
330
00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:24,440
So who is it?
331
00:13:24,560 --> 00:13:25,960
It's Janet.
Janet?
332
00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:27,520
[Dishes clatter]
333
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,920
Oh, my God.
That's your cousin.
334
00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:31,680
No, no, no, no, no.
It's definitely not my cousin.
335
00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:33,560
We made that up. It was a lie
so that you wouldn't suspect.
336
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:35,520
Oh. I can't fucking
believe this.
337
00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:36,720
I can't fucking
believe this.
338
00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:37,840
Janet.
Did you fuck her that night?
339
00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:39,080
The cottage?
No, definitely not.
340
00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:40,400
We hadn't done anything
by then.
341
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:41,840
Oh, so when did you
do something?
342
00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:43,760
Uh, a few days ago.
343
00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:46,480
I mean, we'd had a kiss,
we talked about it,
344
00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:47,800
but -- but in terms
of the actual --
345
00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:49,520
Oh, okay.
I don't need the details, do I?
346
00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:52,480
She feels terrible about this.
Er, we both do.
347
00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:53,800
[Dish clatters]Oh, fuck her.
348
00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:59,480
Are we gonna try
and get past this?
349
00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:01,160
Because I don't know
if I can.
350
00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:03,280
Well...no.
351
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:04,680
No?
352
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:06,160
No, see, there's nothing
to get past.
353
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:08,920
I -- I'm leaving you,
354
00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:14,640
and I'm gonna be with Janet,
and I love her.
355
00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:17,320
[Screams]
356
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:20,800
[Breathing heavily]
357
00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:33,640
Doyou love her?
Yes.
358
00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:36,320
Why? I'm sorry.
I'm just --
359
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:38,520
It doesn't make sense to me,
the two of you together.
360
00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:39,640
I don't know
what you see in her.
361
00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:40,960
What do you
love about her?
362
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:42,360
I mean, she's funny.
She makes me laugh.
363
00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:45,160
Oh. You don't laugh.
You're not a laugher.
364
00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:47,320
I am when I'm with her.
365
00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:50,360
We -- We argue
all the time.
366
00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:52,680
What do
you argue about?
367
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,160
Everything.
[Exhales sharply]
368
00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:56,840
I mean, she's a fucking
nightmare. [Chuckles]
369
00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:57,920
You know, when I'm --
when I'm with her, though,
370
00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:00,000
I-I feel like --
371
00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:03,360
like -- like how I'm meant
to feel, like my...
372
00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:05,400
Like I'm a kid.
Like my -- my whole world --
373
00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:06,760
I'm gonna be sick.
374
00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:09,280
Oh, shit.
375
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:12,000
[Birds chirping]
376
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,760
[Sighs]
377
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:18,560
♪
378
00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:22,040
[Keys clicking]
379
00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:26,440
♪
380
00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:28,920
[Indistinct chatter]
381
00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:36,200
♪
382
00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:43,600
♪
383
00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:45,120
[Sighs]
384
00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:48,520
♪
385
00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:50,160
[Knocking on door]Seamus: Frankie?
386
00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:53,400
Frankie?
387
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,480
I-I just want to say,
388
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:57,240
I really did think
we'd be together
389
00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:59,200
for the rest
of our lives.
390
00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:02,040
James McAvoy looked at me
at the Evening Standard Awards.
391
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:03,440
I could have fucked
James McAvoy.
392
00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:05,000
Yeah.The amount of A-list actors
393
00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:06,800
that I could have been with
over the past six years,
394
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:08,240
and I wasted all this time
with a fucking newsreader.
395
00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:09,720
I'm not a newsreader.
396
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:11,080
Richard Madden looked at me,
too, I think.
397
00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:12,440
I could have had
a Scottish threesome
398
00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:13,840
with James McAvoy
and Richard Madden.
399
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:15,160
Just 'cause
they looked at you?
400
00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:17,000
Skepta. Benedict. Tom.
401
00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:18,720
Which Tom?
402
00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:20,440
All the fucking Toms!
403
00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:21,640
Oh.
404
00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:30,360
♪
405
00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:38,760
♪
406
00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:47,080
♪
407
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:48,720
[Sighs]
408
00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:49,920
I know. I know.
409
00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:51,360
Would you leave me alone?
410
00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:52,600
[Wrapper crinkles]
411
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:55,280
Fuckin' hell!
412
00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:57,800
[Dishes clinking]
413
00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:03,320
♪
414
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:09,000
♪
415
00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:13,240
You're so vain,
416
00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:14,960
you're so shallow
417
00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:17,320
that even with all your
fake fucking feminism, Seamus,
418
00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:18,680
you still can't bear
to be with a woman
419
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:20,280
who earns
more money than you.
420
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:23,040
Well, we earn roughly
the same kind of money, so.
421
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:25,320
Well, not anymore.What do you mean?
422
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:28,640
I got the Guillermo del Toro.[Laughs]
423
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,400
You got the lead
in the movie?
424
00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:32,000
That's why I was calling you.
I couldn't wait to tell you.
425
00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:34,440
I just found out.
Oh, don't touch me.
426
00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:38,800
I'm -- I'm -- I'm
genuinely so happy, Frankie.
427
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:40,360
Congratulations.You knew it was coming.
428
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:42,360
That's why
you're getting out.
429
00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:44,000
I'm gonna be
more famous than you.
430
00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:45,360
It doesn't matter to me.
I couldn't give a fuck about it.
431
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:47,240
But I know it means
everything to you,
432
00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:49,520
which is why you're leaving me
for a fucking shop assistant.
433
00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:50,760
Don't call her that.
434
00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:53,240
[Groans] Why are you
doing this to me?
435
00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:55,640
Look, I'm just...
436
00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:57,960
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, Frankie.
437
00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:02,560
♪
438
00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:04,920
[Sighs]
So...
439
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:09,240
♪
440
00:18:09,360 --> 00:18:10,720
Well, how do you
want to announce it?
441
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,880
I'll tweet,
you Insta?
442
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,480
Amicable break-up,
respect our privacy, the usual?
443
00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:16,680
Thank you.
444
00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:22,840
♪
445
00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:29,000
♪
446
00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:29,920
[Door opens]
447
00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:36,520
♪
448
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:39,000
Seamus: Taxi!
449
00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:40,840
Wait!
Er...
450
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:43,000
♪
451
00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:45,560
Could you just, er -- er,
head for the center of town?
452
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:48,960
♪
453
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:50,520
[Cellphone camera clicks]
454
00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:53,840
[Cellphone rings]
455
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:58,160
♪
456
00:18:58,280 --> 00:18:59,600
I'm not picking up.
457
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:02,000
♪
458
00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:03,560
[Recorded]
Hi, it's Janet.
459
00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:05,080
I'm probablyavailable right now,
460
00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:06,480
but couldn't be holedtalking to you.
461
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:08,920
[Beep, dialing]
462
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:11,680
Hi, it's Janet.Hi, it's Janet.
463
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:13,040
I'm probablyavailable right now... Seamus: Fuck.
464
00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:14,560
...but couldn't be holedtalking to you.
465
00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:16,400
[Beep]
Janet, I-I did it.
466
00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:17,840
Erm, I fucking did it.
467
00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:20,040
So, listen,you're wrong about us.
468
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:23,080
I know this can work.I'm coming to find you.
469
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,440
♪ And now you want
to put it out ♪
470
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:27,440
♪ You gave it all you got
471
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:29,440
♪ And what you've got
is not a lot ♪[Cellphone rings]
472
00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:31,840
♪ Why don't you hand it over?
473
00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:33,240
Fuck.
474
00:19:33,360 --> 00:19:34,880
[Scottish accent]
Seamus O'Hannigan.
475
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,040
That's me.
476
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:38,400
[Tires squeal]
477
00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:40,320
Get out
of the fucking car!
478
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:42,120
What's going on?What's going on?
479
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:45,040
I listened to your radio show
every day for three years,
480
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:47,960
and on every fucking issue,
you were in the wrong!
481
00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:50,760
Trump, Brexit [spits]
Scottish independence.
482
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:52,760
Okay, well, why did you
listen to my radio show
483
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:55,280
for three years
if you thought that --
484
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,040
I don't have time for this.
Just tell me what I owe you.
485
00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:58,160
I don't want
your fucking money.
486
00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,400
Fine, then.
487
00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:01,760
[Door handle rattles]
488
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:03,520
[Grunts]
489
00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:05,080
I can't get out
of the car.
490
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:06,520
Of course you cannae,
491
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:09,200
because you're a useless,
metrosexual asshole.
492
00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:15,840
Fuck off,
you bloody gammon dickhead.
493
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:18,600
Andrew Neil would flatten you,
you fucking wanker!
494
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:26,520
♪
495
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:33,360
♪
496
00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:36,840
[Man singing indistinctly]
497
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:38,360
♪
498
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:41,040
Hey! Janet!
499
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:43,040
Janet!
Look, Janet!
500
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:48,000
♪
501
00:20:48,120 --> 00:20:49,520
Janet!
502
00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:51,000
♪ Forget about the cause
503
00:20:51,120 --> 00:20:53,280
Hey.
Hey!
504
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:54,920
You're going
the wrong way!
505
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:56,920
This is crazy.
I just --
506
00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,360
I just got into a massive fight
with a taxi driver, right,
507
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:01,680
and he -- and he threw me
out of his cab right by you!
508
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:03,040
I mean, if you're
looking for a sign,
509
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:04,960
there's your fucking sign.
[Laughs]
510
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:08,240
[Panting] I-I finished it
with Frankie.
511
00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:09,760
I did it.
512
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:14,880
You don't believe me?
'Cause I really did it.
513
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,640
I promise.
[Exhales deeply]
514
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:20,000
I have to
tell you something.
515
00:21:20,120 --> 00:21:21,720
Uh-huh?
516
00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:24,760
[Groans]
517
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:29,720
So whenever
I told you, erm,
518
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:32,360
I wasn't really affected
by The Troubles?
519
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:33,920
Yeah.Not completely true.
520
00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:36,680
Okay.
I don't know how to say this.
521
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,920
When I was 19, I joined
a loyalist splinter group
522
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:43,160
called the LUV.
523
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:44,600
A terrorist group?
524
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:47,600
I didn't kill anyone
or anything...
525
00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:49,240
erm,
but I was arrested,
526
00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:53,760
and I spent like three years
in Maghaberry Prison.
527
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:55,240
Look, it was just
something stupid I did
528
00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:56,440
when I was a kid.
529
00:21:58,240 --> 00:21:59,400
I'm sorry
I didn't tell you
530
00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:00,680
before you broke up
with Frankie.
531
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:02,000
I...
532
00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:06,480
You okay?
533
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:08,160
Look, I know -- I know
it's a lot to take in.
534
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:10,680
Maybe we could, like -- We could
talk about it somewhere else,
535
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:13,040
if you want to go
for a drink or...
536
00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:18,440
Seamus, fucking say
something, please.
537
00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:19,920
Fucking hell!
538
00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:22,200
I just ended a six-year
relationship for you.
539
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:23,840
I know, I know.
I'm sorry.
540
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:25,680
I just left one of the world's
most beautiful actresses
541
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:27,480
for a loyalist
fucking terrorist!
542
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:29,800
[Quietly] Keep your
fucking voice down!
543
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:31,360
I'm not a terrorist...
544
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:32,600
anymore.
545
00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:34,240
It was a lifetime ago.
I was a kid.
546
00:22:34,360 --> 00:22:36,680
Why didn't you tell me?'Cause I'm s--
547
00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:41,600
Because I was scared.
548
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:45,680
This is why I can't be
in the public eye.
549
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:47,320
This is fucked.
This is all fucked.
550
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:48,400
I can't.
551
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:53,920
Sorry.
What -- You -- So...
552
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:55,240
Is this it?
Er...
553
00:22:55,360 --> 00:22:57,520
♪ You think towards me
554
00:22:57,640 --> 00:23:01,840
♪ And I'm so grateful
You love me ♪
555
00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:06,160
♪ I know that
when You look at me ♪
556
00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:07,960
Man: Hey, Seamus!
557
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:09,920
Seamus,
can I get a selfie?
558
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:11,880
Oh, yeah, sure.
559
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:13,120
Hey.
560
00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:14,240
[Cellphone camera clicks]
561
00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:16,440
Thank you,mate.
562
00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:21,800
♪ I trust You, Father,
I believe ♪
563
00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:23,040
♪ Whoo
564
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:26,120
♪ Your promises
565
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:28,320
♪ Are yes and amen
566
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:30,880
♪ And I believe
567
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:33,520
♪ You will do what You say
568
00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:37,920
♪ My trust in You
will not waver ♪
569
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:41,600
♪ My victory is guaranteed
'cause You remain the same ♪
570
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:45,240
♪ No matter what comes my way
571
00:23:45,360 --> 00:23:47,560
♪ Hallelujah anyhow
572
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:51,600
♪ Oh, yes
573
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:53,680
♪ Until my night turns to day
40036
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