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♪
2
00:00:11,120 --> 00:00:13,760
[Horns honking]
3
00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:19,120
♪
4
00:00:19,240 --> 00:00:20,560
Shit![Doorknob rattling]
5
00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:22,360
[Siren wailing]♪ It's another day
6
00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:24,920
Nice to see you.
7
00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:27,120
Yes, please.
8
00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:28,920
♪ ...upside down
9
00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:30,200
Jason...
[Speaks indistinctly]
10
00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:33,440
Gemma: I can't believe
11
00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:35,240
I'm working in Turley's.
12
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Will I actually get to meet
Turley himself? Mm.
13
00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:40,480
Do you know Primark?
14
00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:42,480
Why is it called Primark?
15
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Was the fella that started it
called Primark?[Cellphone chimes]
16
00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:48,440
I wish someone would name a shop
after me.
17
00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:52,480
But then
who'd want to call a shop Gemma?
18
00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:54,080
My granny Betty hates tea.
19
00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:56,200
I mean, it's not even
that she doesn't like it.
20
00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:58,360
She hates it.
21
00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:01,720
If you made her a cup of tea,
she'd throw it in your face.
22
00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:04,800
I says to her once, "Granny,
why do you hate tea so much?"
23
00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:06,920
She said, "Don't you ever
ask me that again
24
00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:09,840
or I'll break your neck."[Chuckles]
25
00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:12,480
Ndidi:
This government has done more than any previous government
26
00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:15,000
to end child poverty
in the developing world.
27
00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:18,640
But no one in the media
wants to ask me about that.
28
00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:19,920
And then you'd respond...?
29
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Uh...
30
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Seamus?
31
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Gemma: If I had a shop,
I'd call it Bracelets,
32
00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:28,080
but I wouldn't
sell bracelets.
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00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:31,360
I just really like
the name Bracelets.
34
00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:34,840
Do you know who I love?
Matthew McConaughey.
35
00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:38,000
Do you know what I don't love?
Tomato soup.
36
00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:39,640
But I like real tomatoes.
37
00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:42,760
I don't like potatoes,
but I do like chips.
38
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But I don't like fish.
39
00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:46,000
But I do like sampling.
40
00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:47,680
Seamus, I really think we
should...
41
00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:49,800
Seamus?
42
00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:57,040
Seamus.
Yeah. Just...
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One second.
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♪
45
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Gemma: Crisps.
Broccoli. Lettuce.
46
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[Speaking indistinctly]
47
00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:10,920
Seamus, could you...
48
00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:13,160
...sausages,
vegetarian sausages,
49
00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:14,280
vegan sausages...
50
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[Clears throat]
51
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Okay, no.Hey!
52
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Gemma: ...vegan,
anything sausage.
53
00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:22,800
Shut the fuck up, Gemma!
54
00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:24,520
Ndidi: I need you to focus.
55
00:02:24,640 --> 00:02:26,720
Nisha Anand is a formidable
media performer.
56
00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:29,240
If you're not prepared for this,
she will make you look amateur.
57
00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:31,960
It's fine.
Stop freaking out.
58
00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:34,160
I'll just say,
you know,
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00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:36,640
"Nisha Anand, in an interview
with The Daily Telegraph,
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00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:39,640
you described
the 2008 Climate Change Act
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00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:42,440
as a lurch towards
global communism."
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00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:44,120
Seamus.
"Don't you think that kind of language
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00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:48,240
is not just inflammatory,
but hugely irresponsible?"
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00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:52,120
Answer the question,
Minister.
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That wasn't her, Seamus.
66
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Fuck! That was
the Health Secretary.
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00:02:57,640 --> 00:02:59,640
Okay. Okay. Okay.
I'll start again.
68
00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:02,920
Foreign Secretary.
69
00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:08,360
Sorry I shouted at you.
I'm a bit stressed,
70
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:09,600
but I shouldn't have
taken it out on you.
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00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:11,160
Are you depressed again?
72
00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:12,920
Who told you I was depressed?Everyone who works here.
73
00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:14,920
I'm not depressed.
If anything, it's the opposite.
74
00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:17,160
I'm...overjoyed.
75
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:18,800
[Sighs]
76
00:03:18,920 --> 00:03:22,440
Is this about a fella?Can't talk about it.
77
00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:25,040
It isabout a fella.
I haven't told anybody about him,
78
00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:26,400
and it's driving me mad.
79
00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:27,840
Who is he?
He's nobody.
80
00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:30,000
Well, he's not nobody.
He's famous.
81
00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:31,880
Fuck off.
His girlfriend's famous, too.
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His girlfriend.
83
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,280
I know. It's terrible.So how did you meet him?
84
00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:38,520
I saved his life,
and he saved my life.
85
00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:39,880
We didn't have sex.
I mean, we didn't even --
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00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:41,240
We didn't even kiss.
87
00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:42,760
But we've been texting
each other all week.
88
00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:45,320
So who is he?I can't tell you that.
89
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Is it Tom Cruise?
90
00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:48,560
Of course it's not
Tom Cruise.
91
00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:50,000
He's English.Is it Hugh Grant?
92
00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:51,480
No, it's not Hugh Grant.
93
00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:53,600
It's not Simon Cole, is it?Stop guessing.
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00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:55,000
I'm not telling you.
95
00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,120
He's staying in
the Merchant Hotel.
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00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:00,760
Ooh!Yeah. And I text him saying,
97
00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:02,480
"Oh, I've always wanted to stay
at the Merchant"
98
00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:05,880
with the sexy winking emoji,
but he hasn't replied.
99
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:08,960
And it's been three hours and
it's driving me fucking mental.
100
00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:10,800
Should I text him and tell him
I was only joking?
101
00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:14,160
Because I -- I don't want to
scare him away. [Slurping]
102
00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:15,720
Okay, you know what
these English fellas are like?
103
00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:19,040
You have to be
very forward with them.
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00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:20,200
You're too polite.
105
00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:21,280
[Door opens]
106
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Coming, Jason.
107
00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:30,480
[Plane engine whines]
108
00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:31,800
- We've moved things around.
- Yeah.
109
00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:33,760
- So Nisha is up first.
- Uh-huh.
110
00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:35,960
- You have to go in hard.
- Okay?
111
00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:37,960
Nisha: I have people coming upto me on the street,
112
00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:41,280
and they say, "I am 100%behind you on this."
113
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Fuck, she's really good.
114
00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:45,280
Do you think
you're ready for this?
115
00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:47,480
I really think the public'sahead of you on this one.
116
00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:51,880
It's fine. It'll be fine.
117
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,120
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
118
00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:54,680
There's no way
I'm staying here.
119
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:56,840
This is myhotel.
Oh, it looks really nice.
120
00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:59,880
♪ Mr. Mister, never gonna,
never gonna...♪
121
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Sleep well.
122
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♪
123
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Driver: There you go, man.
That's the Merchant.
124
00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:15,840
Thank you.
125
00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:17,600
♪ Now, would you agree,
ladies? ♪
126
00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:19,040
♪ 'Cause that's the way I do
127
00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:20,760
♪ I make the ladies say
128
00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:23,200
♪ I got it going on, right? ♪ Ah, ah, yeah
129
00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:25,480
♪ 'Cause when I give you
my thing, all the ladies say ♪
130
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:27,400
♪ Boo ♪ 'Cause you're my boo true
131
00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:29,280
♪ Ah, ah, yeah ♪ So when you see me
on the phone ♪
132
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:30,960
♪ Don't ask me
133
00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:33,640
♪ I'm talking to you
'cause I am Mr. Mister ♪
134
00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:35,560
♪ Y'all wait to exhale, girl
135
00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:38,160
Seamus, Seamus, Seamus, Seamus.
136
00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:40,680
♪ Ah, I said the check's
in the mail, girls ♪
137
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:43,720
♪ You're never gonna
get my love, Mr. Mister ♪
138
00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:45,800
♪ I'm the man, I'm the man,
I'm the man, baby ♪
139
00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:49,080
Ooh, yeah.♪ Who do you think you are,
Mr. Mister? ♪
140
00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:50,800
[Male singer laughs]
141
00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:53,080
♪ You're never gonna
get my love ♪
142
00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:55,920
♪ Mr. Mister, never gonna,
never gonna...♪
143
00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:57,800
[Shower water running,
Seamus singing indistinctly]
144
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♪
145
00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:05,200
Ooh, yeah. Yeah, girl.
146
00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:08,280
[Vocalizing]
147
00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:09,280
Hi.
148
00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:10,680
Aaaaah!
149
00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:12,240
Oh! It's only me!
150
00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:13,560
What are you doing here?!
Turn around!
151
00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:15,200
Sorry,
I didn't mean to --
152
00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:19,360
[Both screaming]
153
00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:21,360
Tried to surprise you!
154
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,400
Surprise, surprise!I'm surprised!
155
00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:25,320
I'm sorry. I just...
156
00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:30,840
I'm so sorry.
157
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:33,880
That was a bigmisjudgment
on my part.
158
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:35,120
You nearly gave me
a fucking heart attack.
159
00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:36,240
Well, I thought you were shy.What?
160
00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:37,600
You see, I thought
you were shy
161
00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:39,320
because you didn't reply to
my text,
162
00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:40,760
and I thought maybe you wanted
something to happen between us,
163
00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:41,920
but you were being
all English about it.
164
00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:43,360
Sorry, I didn't
reply to your text
165
00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:45,000
so you thought you'd break
into my hotel room?
166
00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:47,080
I didn't break in.Attack me in the shower.
167
00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:48,120
I didn't attack you
in the shower.
168
00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:49,440
I gave you a little wave.
169
00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:51,480
Did you not see my wee wave?
It was...
170
00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:53,480
What?
If you didn't want me to come up, why did you
171
00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:54,360
tell me what room
you were staying in?
172
00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:56,720
Well...because I wanted
173
00:06:56,840 --> 00:06:58,240
to brag about
staying in room number 1!
174
00:06:58,360 --> 00:06:59,840
I didn't expect you
to show up!
175
00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:01,040
Why do you care about
the number of the room?
176
00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:02,360
Because it's
the Presidential Suite.
177
00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:04,000
Bill Clinton slept here.
178
00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:06,040
What?Anyway, how did you get in?
179
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:07,640
Oh, the cleaner was leaving
when I arrived, so I just...
180
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:08,960
Jesus Christ.
181
00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:10,120
Look, I'm sorry.
182
00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:11,320
I only meant
to knock on your door.
183
00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:13,360
I never intended
184
00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:15,000
to drink your champagne
and eat your chocolates.
185
00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:16,720
You drank my champagne?
186
00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:20,440
Only most of it.
187
00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:24,440
[Door opens, closes]
188
00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:28,760
W-Where are you going?
189
00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:30,520
Home.Well, don't just go.
190
00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:31,520
You don't seem happy
to see me.
191
00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:32,400
No, I am.
192
00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:33,800
[Elevator bell dings]
193
00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:35,480
D-Do you want to go
for a drink?
194
00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:40,720
Would you want
to get dressed?
195
00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:45,800
[Laughter,
indistinct conversations]
196
00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:47,160
So why do you think
you're staying
197
00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:48,320
in the presidential suite?
198
00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:50,640
Um, hmm, because I am.
199
00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:52,000
The presidential suite's
in the Europa,
200
00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:53,800
which is
a different hotel. No.
201
00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:56,560
It's not the presidential suite.
It's not.
202
00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:58,280
Oh, excuse me. Hi. Hi.Yes?
203
00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:00,920
Um, I'm staying in room 1.
204
00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:02,960
Yes, sir.
205
00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:04,480
Which is...
206
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:06,400
Room 1?
207
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:09,920
Yes, uh, but could you
tell this lady
208
00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:12,840
the very important and famous
guest who once stayed there?
209
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,440
She doesn't believe me.
210
00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:16,240
Certainly, sir.
211
00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:19,920
On his One Last Time tour
in 2004,
212
00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:22,520
Barry Manilow
did stay in room 1,
213
00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:24,000
but it was only
for the one night.
214
00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:25,040
No, no, no. Not -- Not --
Not -- Not Barry Manilow.
215
00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:29,040
I meant, um, you know, um...
216
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:30,680
Bill Clinton.
217
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:32,200
I'm sorry.
218
00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:35,920
No, I'm afraid President Clinton
never stayed here.
219
00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:38,920
Perhaps you're, um, thinking
of the Europa.
220
00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:40,240
[Giggles]
221
00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:42,400
Yeah. Perhaps.
222
00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:46,360
Could be.
Should have double-checked.
223
00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:49,400
My mind's been very taken up
with this extremely important
224
00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:50,560
interview I've got tomorrow.
225
00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:53,520
Oh.
Who's the interview with?
226
00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:55,880
Nisha Anand.
227
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:56,920
Oh!
228
00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:00,720
Am I supposed to know
who that is?
229
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:02,680
She's the Foreign Secretary.
230
00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:04,160
Farm secretary?
231
00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:07,160
What? No, not farm secretary.
Sorry.
232
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,440
The ForeignSecretary.
That's what I said.
233
00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:11,120
Farm secretary.
No.
234
00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:13,800
No. Foreign. Foreign.
For-eign.
235
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:15,400
Oh, for-eign?
Yes.
236
00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:16,920
Foreign Secretary.
Why didn't you just say that?
237
00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:18,600
Fuck off.
[English accent] I'm interviewing
238
00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:21,000
the farm's
foreign secretary.
239
00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:22,400
Oh, is that
supposed to be me?
240
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:23,720
It's what English people
sound like.
241
00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:24,960
Well, anyway, I'm not English.
I'm Irish.
242
00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:26,600
[Laughs]
243
00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:27,880
What's funny about that?
I am Irish.
244
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,360
My name's Seamus O'Hannigan.
245
00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:30,680
[Mockingly] My name's
Seamus O'Hannigan.
246
00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:32,200
Don't you know, old bean?Fuck off.
247
00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:36,440
[Laughs]
248
00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:38,720
I can't imagine you being
any good at interviewing people.
249
00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:40,120
Oh, well,
thank you very much.
250
00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:42,120
It's only what I do
for a living.
251
00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:44,760
No, you're too self-absorbed.
Surely, to do your job,
252
00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:47,000
you have to be, like, interested
in other people.
253
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:48,560
I'm interested
in other people.
254
00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:51,080
I'm interested in you.Bollocks.
255
00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:52,440
You haven't asked me
one single question
256
00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:53,840
about myself
since I sat down.
257
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,240
Well, you haven't
asked me anything.
258
00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:56,640
Not interested in
anything you have to say.
259
00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:57,920
Well, fine.
Let's not talk, then.
260
00:09:58,040 --> 00:10:00,000
Fine by me.
Fine.
261
00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:08,840
[Indistinct conversations]
262
00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:15,520
♪
263
00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:22,400
♪
264
00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:24,040
I do actually have
a serious question for you.
265
00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:26,160
No, I actually have a serious
question for you too.
266
00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:27,800
You go first.No, no, no. You go first.
267
00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:29,840
I'll ask mine after.Why do you want
to kill yourself?
268
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,840
Why didn't you tell me
you had a girlfriend?
269
00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:42,240
I don't want to answer
that question,
270
00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:44,160
but thank you
for saving my life.
271
00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:49,640
Look, um, I'm sorry
I didn't mention
272
00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:52,560
I had a girlfriend.
I shouldn't have done that.
273
00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:54,520
But, look, we didn't
actually do anything, so...
274
00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:56,000
So what are we doing
here now?
275
00:10:57,480 --> 00:11:01,200
Uh, well, um, I like you?
276
00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:02,760
I wanted to see you again.
277
00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:05,040
And, um...
278
00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:09,800
Uh, I do -- I do find you
extremely attractive.
279
00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:12,760
What would you find
extremely attractive about me?
280
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:15,560
[Laughs]
281
00:11:15,680 --> 00:11:18,160
You want me to spell it out?
282
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:20,480
Yeah.
Okay.
283
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:22,240
Okay. Um...
284
00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:27,480
Well, I like, um, uh...
285
00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:29,200
Right. I like your face.
286
00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:30,480
It's a nice face.
287
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:35,000
Um, it's a very regal face.
288
00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:38,600
Your -- Your -- Your brow
is, uh...
289
00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:40,800
You have eyes too --
nice eyes.
290
00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:45,440
Is that it?And -- And your smile.
291
00:11:45,560 --> 00:11:47,800
You like my smile?Yeah.
292
00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:49,280
You're not going to see me
smiling much
293
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:50,720
if that's the level of
compliment you're giving me.
294
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:52,400
Okay. Alright, alright,
alright, alright.
295
00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:54,440
I like, um...
296
00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:56,360
I like that you always
tell the truth.
297
00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:57,960
I like that you clearly
298
00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:00,360
don't give a fuck
what anyone thinks about you.
299
00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:09,320
And I like how you're just
always unapologetically you.
300
00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:11,080
Janet.
301
00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:18,200
Mm-hmm.
302
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:21,080
What?
303
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:22,800
What do you find attractive
about me?
304
00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:24,360
Who says I find anything
about you attractive?
305
00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:28,320
Oh, come on. Name one thing
that you like about me.
306
00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:29,880
Go on.
One thing.
307
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:34,160
[Laughs]
Uh...
308
00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:35,840
Oh, dear. Nope.
309
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,360
[Chuckles]
310
00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:43,320
Your nose.
My nose?
311
00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:44,760
Yeah. You have a nice nose.
312
00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:46,400
That's the only thing
I like about you.
313
00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:49,720
An inch bigger or smaller,
I-I wouldn't be here right now.
314
00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:52,880
[Laughs]
315
00:12:53,000 --> 00:13:00,720
♪
316
00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:08,600
♪
317
00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:10,360
So...
318
00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:13,920
What do you want to do now?
319
00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:19,840
I love my girlfriend.
320
00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:26,800
That's it then.
321
00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:28,680
Yeah.
Yep.
322
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:30,040
I should probably
go and do some work.
323
00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:31,240
Mm-hmm. I'm going to go.
324
00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:33,080
I'm gonna see
if they got a taxi.
325
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:34,560
Yep.
326
00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:42,680
[Indistinct conversations]
327
00:13:52,320 --> 00:14:01,960
♪
328
00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:03,440
Shit. Fucker.
329
00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:06,200
♪
330
00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:08,520
- Thank you.
- Thanks.
331
00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:14,800
♪
332
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:16,520
So, listen, I've just
had this crazy idea.
333
00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:18,200
Oh, yeah? What's that?Let's have an affair.
334
00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:19,720
What?
335
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,560
We can't. We just --
We can't.
336
00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:29,600
Why? Of course we can.
Of course we can.
337
00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:30,840
People would get hurt.
338
00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:32,640
Who?
Well, my girlfriend for a start.
339
00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:33,840
She wouldn't find out,
Seamus.
340
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,080
That's why they call it
an affair.
341
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:36,360
You would get hurt.I would get hurt?
342
00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:37,760
By who? By you?
343
00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:39,360
Who do you think
you are, Seamus?
344
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:40,840
Do you think
you're so good at sex
345
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:42,520
I'd be brokenhearted
if you take away the dick?
346
00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:45,000
Shh.
I have a vibrator.
347
00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:47,760
You won't be missed.Anyway, I'm famous.
It would be national news.
348
00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:49,680
[Laughing] National news?
349
00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:51,080
I hate to break this
to you, mate,
350
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:52,600
but you're not that famous.
351
00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:54,400
I am famous.Not really famous.
352
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:56,360
I fucking am.
I am famous.
353
00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:00,400
So, uh, why is nobody
looking at you?
354
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,600
They were looking at me
when I walked in.
355
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:07,360
Th-They've got used to me
being here by now.
356
00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:09,240
Walk in again.What?
357
00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:13,600
Walk from here to here
and see if anyone notices you.
358
00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:15,640
No, I'm not making
a spectacle of myself.
359
00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:19,200
Won't be a spectacle because
nobody will be watching you.
360
00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:20,960
Fine.
361
00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:30,120
♪
362
00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:39,440
♪
363
00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:43,440
[Laughing]
364
00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:44,880
[Coughs]
365
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:49,160
♪
366
00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:51,880
See? People were looking.Nobody was looking.
367
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,120
They're posh. That's how
posh people respond to
368
00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:56,080
the presence of a celebrity --
with studied disinterest.
369
00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:58,520
Anyway, you were looking at me,
not them.
370
00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:00,240
Let's try somewhere else.
371
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:07,160
♪
372
00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:09,080
Zip. Shh.
373
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,200
♪
374
00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:13,760
♪ Mr. Mister
375
00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:16,600
♪ That's who I know I am
376
00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:18,080
♪ I'm Mr. Big Stuff
377
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:19,720
♪ I want to know now
378
00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:23,240
♪ You know I really need
your love, yeah ♪
379
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:28,160
♪ Now just because I wear
all these fancy clothes ♪
380
00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:29,520
- Look, is there a problem?
- Sorry. Sorry.
381
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:31,840
♪ I have a big, fine car
382
00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:33,160
♪ Well, baby, that's true love
383
00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:35,160
[Laughing]
384
00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:38,080
♪ I never said I could afford
385
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:40,720
♪ To get your love
386
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:44,120
♪ I don't think I'm...
387
00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:46,040
I'm Seamus O'Hannigan!
388
00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:49,920
Does nobody in Belfast know
who I am?!
389
00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:52,480
Woman:
Fuck off, you little brat!
390
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:54,480
♪ Mr. Big Stuff, Big Stuff
391
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:57,560
♪ Big Stuff, Big Stuff,
Big Stuff ♪
392
00:16:57,680 --> 00:17:01,320
♪ Oh, Mr. Big Stuff,
baby, baby ♪
393
00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:02,640
♪ Mr. Big Stuff
394
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,800
Maybe I'm just famous
in Islington.
395
00:17:08,120 --> 00:17:09,360
Okay, let's have sex.
396
00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:13,680
[Chokes, coughing]
397
00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:20,000
Okay, then.
398
00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:24,960
♪
399
00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:26,320
Yep. Let's go.
400
00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:33,280
♪
401
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:40,040
♪
402
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:47,200
♪
403
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:48,640
Seamus O'Hannigan.
404
00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:51,160
Foreign Secretary.
Uh, good evening.
405
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:53,000
I, um, didn't know
you were staying here.
406
00:17:53,120 --> 00:17:54,800
I'm not.
407
00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:56,280
I'm just having dinner
with the Secretary of State.
408
00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:58,640
Oh.I'm at the Europa.
Presidential Suite.
409
00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:00,240
[Janet laughs,
Seamus clears his throat]
410
00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:03,080
Right.Hello.
411
00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:06,280
I'm Nisha. Oh?
412
00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:07,880
Hello. I'm Janet.
413
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,400
Hi.
I'm his secretary.
414
00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:13,360
Assistant.Assistant. Yeah.
415
00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:14,800
Assistant.Assistant. Yeah.
416
00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:17,720
So, ready to do
battle tomorrow, mister?
417
00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:19,880
I'm a bit nervous.
Go easy on me.
418
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,440
Oh, it'll be fine.
419
00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:23,040
This is the politician
you're interviewing tomorrow?
420
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:24,400
Yeah.Oh, don't be nervous, Nisha.
He's nervous, too.
421
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:26,520
What? I'm not nervous.
[Laughs nervously]
422
00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:27,840
Who said I was nervous?
423
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:28,920
You said it about
10 minutes ago.
424
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:30,120
No, I didn't.
Never said that.
425
00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:32,720
No, no, no, no, no.
[Chuckles]
426
00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:33,920
Where do I know
your face from?
427
00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:35,240
She's the
Foreign Secretary.
428
00:18:35,360 --> 00:18:36,600
Oh, my holy fuck!
429
00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:37,720
You were on "Celebrity
Come Dine with me."
430
00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:39,040
Jason Donovan
hated your lasagna.
431
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:41,000
[Laughs]
Do you know what?
432
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,640
A lot of the snobby types
in the party
433
00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:46,440
and the media criticized me
for doing reality TV.
434
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,320
But I loved
every second of it.
435
00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:50,640
You were brilliant.Oh, thank you, pet.
436
00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:52,640
The look on your face when
Jedward handed you the...
437
00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:54,680
The stories I could tell you
about Jedward.
438
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:55,920
Tell me. Tell me.Tell me.
439
00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:57,360
Oh, we should get going.
440
00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:58,720
Janet: Right. Bye.
441
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:04,440
Now, she'sfamous.
442
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,240
She's a cunt.
443
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:13,760
I thought she was nice.
444
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,520
Why did you have to tell her
I was nervous?
445
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:20,520
I hate her knowing
that I'm nervous.
446
00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:22,400
She said she was nervous, too.
447
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:25,760
Well, I know she's nervous
and she knows I'm nervous.
448
00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:27,240
But now I know
she knows I'm nervous.
449
00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:28,680
So everybody's nervous
and everybody
450
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:31,240
knows everybody's nervous.
What's the big deal?
451
00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:35,120
It sabotages the dynamic.
452
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:36,720
I don't know what that means.
453
00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:38,880
It's a media term.
You wouldn't understand.
454
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:41,760
[Door lock beeps]
455
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:51,560
Where are you going?I'm going home.
456
00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:52,480
I thought we were going to...
457
00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:53,640
This isn't going to work.
458
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:54,480
What?
What's not going to work?
459
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:56,120
This. This. This.
460
00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:57,320
You think I'm beneath you?
461
00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:58,760
No, I don't.You think I'm stupid?
462
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:00,760
Oh, my God.
W-W-Where is this coming from?
463
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:01,840
No, I don't.
464
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:03,360
I embarrassed you.When?
465
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:04,920
Just now in front
of the farm secretary.
466
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:07,680
Foreign.
Foreign, fucking foreign secretary. Fuck!
467
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:09,120
Look, it's...
468
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:10,480
It's just...
469
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:11,760
[Stammers]
470
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,160
Seamus, we're completely
471
00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:21,000
different people from completely
different worlds.
472
00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:23,040
It shouldn't matter.It does, though.
473
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:31,120
♪
474
00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:39,160
♪
475
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:42,240
We'll be glad.
476
00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:43,760
It wasn't meant to be.
477
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:48,160
How will you get home?
478
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:50,240
I'll get the bus.
479
00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:55,640
♪
480
00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:56,800
Come on.
481
00:20:56,920 --> 00:21:03,040
♪
482
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:09,400
♪
483
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:11,560
Woman: So far they...
484
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:13,440
[Scoffs]
485
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:15,480
♪
486
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:17,000
[Elevator bell dings]
487
00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:20,560
♪
488
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,560
Man: Does the Minister agreewith Labour's plan to work
489
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:24,360
with the British Business Bank
490
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:27,320
to support female foundersachieve their ambitions?
491
00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:29,440
- Yea!- Yea!
492
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:32,000
I don't want to be naive. I have been hurting here, so...
493
00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:38,000
[Television chatter]
494
00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:41,920
♪
495
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:43,120
[Sighs]
496
00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:46,080
♪
497
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:47,080
Ugh.
498
00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:52,320
I said ugh!I know, love.
499
00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:55,280
It'll turn your stomach,
wouldn't it?
500
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:05,160
♪
501
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:06,760
[Sighs]
502
00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:09,320
["Gimme Some Lovin'" plays]
503
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:19,120
♪
504
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:26,080
♪
505
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:27,120
♪ Hey
506
00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:29,560
♪
507
00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:33,400
♪ Well, my temperature's rising,
and my feet on the floor ♪
508
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:36,600
Fuck.♪ Crazy people knocking 'cause
they're wanting some more ♪
509
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:39,400
♪ Let me in, baby, I don't know
what you got ♪
510
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:41,960
♪ But you better take it easy,
this place is hot ♪
511
00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:43,360
Driver: Getting on or what?
512
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:46,120
♪ I'm so glad we made it
513
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:47,680
♪ So glad we made it Where's the bus?
514
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:48,920
Left on the corner.
515
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:50,160
Thank you, thank you,
thank you!
516
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:52,560
Aah! Aah!
517
00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:55,000
Sorry, sorry!
Sorry, sorry!
518
00:22:55,120 --> 00:22:56,400
♪ Gimme some lovin'
519
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:58,320
♪ Gimme some lovin'
520
00:22:58,440 --> 00:22:59,440
♪
521
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:00,680
Seamus: Wait, wait, wait!
522
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:02,560
Stop![Air brakes hiss]
523
00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:07,000
Was that the bus
for the Newtownards Road?
524
00:23:07,120 --> 00:23:08,840
Aye. You just missed it,
son.
525
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:11,080
[Sighs] Shit.
526
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:28,080
[Indistinct conversations]
527
00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:34,120
You didn't get on
the bus.
528
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:36,840
Might have.
529
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:38,880
I had to get off again.
530
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:40,800
I had a craving for an ice cream
and I thought,
531
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:43,400
"Fuck it, I'll get myself an ice
cream and then I'll go home."
532
00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:45,000
Do you mind if I join you?
533
00:23:45,120 --> 00:23:47,640
♪
534
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:49,200
Uh...
535
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:57,360
♪
536
00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:05,720
♪
537
00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:07,640
You know, every time
I've been to Belfast,
538
00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:10,880
it's never places like this.
I've always stood beside a mural
539
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:15,280
or stuck in a farmhouse
interviewing terrorists.
540
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:18,160
This is lovely.
541
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:20,600
Well, that never used
to be a sushi bar.
542
00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:22,000
They used to execute people
in there.
543
00:24:22,120 --> 00:24:23,240
Huh.
544
00:24:23,360 --> 00:24:29,280
♪
545
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:35,280
♪
546
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:36,920
[Woman vocalizing]
547
00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:46,560
♪
548
00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:47,800
[Gasps]
Oh!
549
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:49,760
[Groaning]
550
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:52,320
Oh. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean to do that.
551
00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:54,640
I'm sorry.
A-Are you okay?
552
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:58,080
[Groaning continues]
553
00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:00,480
It's just instinct. I'm not used
to people trying to kiss me.
554
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:03,160
I think my nose is broken.
555
00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:04,320
Oh, God. Let me see.
556
00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:07,640
Aah.
557
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:08,920
Let me see, let me see.Oh, fuck.
558
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:13,440
No, no. Fine.
Still a --
559
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:16,920
Yep. Still a lovely nose.
560
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:26,880
♪
561
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:36,840
♪
562
00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:46,800
♪
563
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:56,800
♪
564
00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:58,600
Woman: Seamus?
565
00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:02,400
Seamus: Frankie?
566
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:07,280
♪ My mama, she used to say
567
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:08,600
♪ God is a woman
568
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:11,680
♪ She won't sinners away
569
00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:15,560
♪ My sister, she used to cry
570
00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:20,520
♪ Thinking of people who know
the day she dies ♪
571
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:24,520
♪ I think the writing's
on the wall ♪
572
00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:26,800
♪ I see it all, tell me
573
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:29,400
♪ Who's gonna hit
the red button? ♪
574
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:31,520
♪ Who's gonna hit
the red button? ♪
575
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:34,280
♪ Knock us down, wipe us out
576
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:36,520
♪ Who's gonna save us?
Tell me ♪
577
00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:38,800
♪ Who's gonna hit
the red button? ♪
578
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:40,320
♪ Who's gonna...
39986
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