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1
00:02:04,890 --> 00:02:06,517
- Good morning, ladies!
2
00:02:08,894 --> 00:02:11,294
- Oh, uh, lad-ladies!
Ladies, it's all right!
3
00:02:11,363 --> 00:02:12,955
This is our carpenter,
Nick Francis!
4
00:02:13,031 --> 00:02:15,192
He did the lovely work on the altar!
5
00:02:18,570 --> 00:02:21,403
Yes, your work in the church
is excellent, Nick.
6
00:02:21,473 --> 00:02:23,964
But couldn't you be a little more...
7
00:02:24,042 --> 00:02:27,842
- Oh, that's what you get for hiring
a confirmed sinner, Father.
8
00:02:30,249 --> 00:02:34,049
- Well, look, at least try
not to scare away
9
00:02:34,119 --> 00:02:37,520
any of the other parishioners. Hmm?
- Maybe, yeah.
10
00:02:37,589 --> 00:02:39,853
- And, uh, this might be a good time
11
00:02:39,925 --> 00:02:42,189
for you to start work
on that confessional.
12
00:02:42,261 --> 00:02:43,785
- Over there?
13
00:02:43,862 --> 00:02:46,194
Oh, that one.
14
00:03:04,049 --> 00:03:05,983
Sorry.
15
00:03:24,236 --> 00:03:26,727
Come on.
16
00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:30,333
- l have a sin to confess.
- But l'm not--
17
00:03:30,409 --> 00:03:32,343
- lt's an emergency!
- But actually l'm not--
18
00:03:32,411 --> 00:03:34,675
- lf l don't get some advice
right away,
19
00:03:34,746 --> 00:03:37,010
l'm going to commit
a horrible, unforgivable act
20
00:03:37,082 --> 00:03:39,607
that really could ruin the life
of a wonderful person.
21
00:03:39,685 --> 00:03:40,652
And maybe mine too.
22
00:03:40,719 --> 00:03:42,880
- Wait, you shouldn't
be talking to me--
23
00:03:42,955 --> 00:03:46,015
- Oh, my gosh,
you can tell l'm not a Catholic.
24
00:03:46,091 --> 00:03:49,492
But l just need to tell someone
about my...
25
00:03:49,561 --> 00:03:50,653
... erotic fantasies.
26
00:03:53,098 --> 00:03:54,190
- Your what?
27
00:03:54,266 --> 00:03:56,928
- Erotic fantasies.
28
00:03:59,771 --> 00:04:02,706
- Please continue, my child.
29
00:04:02,774 --> 00:04:04,332
- l have these...
30
00:04:05,877 --> 00:04:08,505
urges for men.
- Yes?
31
00:04:10,215 --> 00:04:13,844
- Well, just today l...
l saw this guy and l wanted to...
32
00:04:13,919 --> 00:04:16,683
wh-wh-whoa,
l cannot tell a priest that.
33
00:04:16,755 --> 00:04:20,816
- Well, if it helps to bring you peace
to share every detail,
34
00:04:20,892 --> 00:04:23,622
please don't hold anything back,
my... child.
35
00:04:33,238 --> 00:04:35,229
And you have these urges
36
00:04:35,307 --> 00:04:37,332
for every man you see?
37
00:04:37,409 --> 00:04:38,706
- Practically.
38
00:04:41,079 --> 00:04:43,946
- Hoo... l'm afraid
l'm gonna have to leave... right now.
39
00:04:44,016 --> 00:04:47,144
The... the etiquette of a confessional
is for the priest to leave first,
40
00:04:47,219 --> 00:04:49,380
so if you just hold on for one minute.
- No! Please!
41
00:04:49,454 --> 00:04:51,217
Please don't go!
l just... l need help!
42
00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:52,723
- Help comes in mysterious ways.
43
00:04:52,791 --> 00:04:55,191
Something may happen
in the very near future
44
00:04:55,260 --> 00:04:56,852
to alleviate your torment.
45
00:04:56,928 --> 00:05:00,056
- But l haven't even told you
the most shocking part yet.
46
00:05:02,034 --> 00:05:04,002
- Perhaps l could stay
a little longer.
47
00:05:04,069 --> 00:05:06,867
- l'm getting married in three days.
48
00:05:06,938 --> 00:05:09,338
My fiance, Andre, is a Catholic.
49
00:05:09,408 --> 00:05:12,639
He does not believe
in sex before marriage.
50
00:05:12,711 --> 00:05:14,110
Mm, no!
51
00:05:14,179 --> 00:05:16,670
Oh, l guess you don't either.
52
00:05:16,748 --> 00:05:19,273
But l'm really sick of waiting.
53
00:05:19,351 --> 00:05:21,512
- But you say your... wedding
54
00:05:21,586 --> 00:05:23,315
is in three days?
55
00:05:23,388 --> 00:05:25,686
Three days when, in theory,
56
00:05:25,757 --> 00:05:28,055
you could have wild sex
57
00:05:28,126 --> 00:05:30,924
with the next man you meet?
58
00:05:30,996 --> 00:05:32,293
- Well, in theory, yes.
59
00:05:32,364 --> 00:05:34,696
But, you see,
that's the problem.
60
00:05:34,766 --> 00:05:37,496
l mean,
l'm not... fantasizing about Andre.
61
00:05:38,737 --> 00:05:42,468
l'm about to pledge that l will spend
the rest of my life with one man,
62
00:05:42,541 --> 00:05:44,702
sleep with one man
for the rest of my life!
63
00:05:44,776 --> 00:05:47,643
And l see these other guys
and l just can't help thinking,
64
00:05:47,713 --> 00:05:49,874
Gee, l wonder
what it would be like with him.
65
00:05:49,948 --> 00:05:51,279
Or him. Or him.
- Mm-mm.
66
00:05:51,350 --> 00:05:53,648
lt's understandable.
- No, no, it's not. lt's a sin!
67
00:05:53,719 --> 00:05:56,051
- l don't know.
Sin's a bit of a strong word.
68
00:05:56,121 --> 00:05:57,713
- Lust!
69
00:05:59,925 --> 00:06:01,893
- Oh, Christ Almi-i-i -
70
00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:05,293
l mean l have to go.
l have to go.
71
00:06:05,364 --> 00:06:06,888
- We-we haven't finished.
72
00:06:06,965 --> 00:06:10,093
You know, maybe you could
give me your phone number
73
00:06:10,168 --> 00:06:12,966
and we could discuss this further
over a drink...
74
00:06:13,038 --> 00:06:13,970
coffee, obviously. Tea.
75
00:06:14,039 --> 00:06:15,836
- l couldn't impose on you.
76
00:06:17,209 --> 00:06:18,642
- lmpose.
77
00:06:22,547 --> 00:06:23,980
- Thank you
78
00:06:24,049 --> 00:06:26,313
l... l feel better already.
79
00:06:26,385 --> 00:06:27,977
You know? Huh.
80
00:06:28,053 --> 00:06:31,147
l think l'll be strong enough now.
81
00:06:58,417 --> 00:06:59,850
For our wedding night.
82
00:06:59,918 --> 00:07:01,510
- Come on, Vanessa.
83
00:07:01,586 --> 00:07:04,020
You're not entering a nunnery,
84
00:07:04,089 --> 00:07:06,114
you're finally getting laid.
- l know.
85
00:07:06,191 --> 00:07:10,389
l just don't want him to think
l'm the kind of woman...
86
00:07:20,705 --> 00:07:24,471
- You don't think she's going
to proposition that guy, do you?
87
00:07:24,543 --> 00:07:25,840
- No...
- No.
88
00:07:41,493 --> 00:07:44,326
- Uh, excuse me.
There was a priest here a while ago.
89
00:07:44,396 --> 00:07:46,193
Do you know when he'll be back?
90
00:07:49,568 --> 00:07:50,728
- Uh..
91
00:07:50,802 --> 00:07:52,599
Actually, l...
- Uh...
92
00:07:52,671 --> 00:07:54,502
lt was you.
93
00:07:54,573 --> 00:07:57,667
l recognize your accent.
94
00:07:57,742 --> 00:08:01,508
- Oh, you must be wondering
why a priest is dressed like this.
95
00:08:01,580 --> 00:08:03,411
Uh, well, it's to do
96
00:08:03,482 --> 00:08:06,280
with our Attract Teenagers
to the Church outreach campaign.
97
00:08:06,351 --> 00:08:08,842
You should see
the Monsignor's purple hair.
98
00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:10,353
- What a great idea.
99
00:08:10,422 --> 00:08:14,153
Um, l'm the one with the, uh...
lust problem.
100
00:08:14,226 --> 00:08:15,625
- Yes. Yes, yes.
101
00:08:15,694 --> 00:08:17,321
- l know you're busy,
but you said
102
00:08:17,395 --> 00:08:19,022
you might be able
to provide further counselling.
103
00:08:19,097 --> 00:08:22,032
- Yes, l believe
l can be of service to you.
104
00:08:22,100 --> 00:08:23,965
- You have no idea
how happy that makes me.
105
00:08:24,035 --> 00:08:25,434
- Me too. ln fact,
106
00:08:25,504 --> 00:08:29,065
l'm willing to work at it
until you find complete relief.
107
00:08:29,140 --> 00:08:31,802
Even if it means working
the entire three days.
108
00:08:31,877 --> 00:08:33,208
And nights.
109
00:08:33,278 --> 00:08:35,473
- You're almost a saint.
110
00:08:36,882 --> 00:08:38,213
- Why don't l come round
111
00:08:38,283 --> 00:08:40,376
to your place tonight?
- That would be fantastic.
112
00:08:40,452 --> 00:08:43,148
l live at...
You make house calls - that's great.
113
00:08:43,221 --> 00:08:45,018
l live at 325 Prince Avenue.
- Nine o'clock.
114
00:08:45,090 --> 00:08:47,081
- l don't know
if l can last that long.
115
00:08:47,158 --> 00:08:48,352
- Let's make it seven.
- Great.
116
00:08:57,235 --> 00:08:59,203
- How do l look?
117
00:09:00,772 --> 00:09:02,535
l've got a hot date tonight.
118
00:09:04,676 --> 00:09:06,735
- That outfit
could be a bit of a turn-off.
119
00:09:08,346 --> 00:09:09,870
- l dunno, l think black suits me.
120
00:09:09,948 --> 00:09:11,745
l like the way it says, ''Trust me.''
121
00:09:11,816 --> 00:09:13,511
- lt also says,
''One hell of a hard lay.''
122
00:09:13,585 --> 00:09:16,383
- You know, the most beautiful,
sexiest girl l've ever seen
123
00:09:16,454 --> 00:09:20,322
told me she's desperate for sex
and then invited me round to her place.
124
00:09:20,392 --> 00:09:22,155
- That sounds too good to be true.
125
00:09:22,227 --> 00:09:24,525
- Yeah, well,
she does think l'm a priest.
126
00:09:24,596 --> 00:09:25,927
- Ah.
127
00:09:25,997 --> 00:09:28,295
- But l don't think that's a problem.
- You don't.
128
00:09:28,366 --> 00:09:30,527
- The fact she's getting married
in three days could be.
129
00:09:30,602 --> 00:09:32,365
- Could be.
- But...
130
00:09:32,437 --> 00:09:33,995
if l sleep with her,
131
00:09:34,072 --> 00:09:37,940
l'll actually be doing her a favour.
- Sleeping with a woman
132
00:09:38,009 --> 00:09:39,169
who thinks you're a priest
133
00:09:39,244 --> 00:09:41,439
and is about to get married
is doing her a favour.
134
00:09:41,513 --> 00:09:42,980
- lt's obvious.
- lt's obvious!
135
00:09:43,048 --> 00:09:45,346
- l'm perfectly happy
with a one-night stand.
136
00:09:45,417 --> 00:09:47,715
- Yeah, a one-night stand
always makes a woman happy.
137
00:09:47,786 --> 00:09:50,254
- She can have
her final fling with me,
138
00:09:50,322 --> 00:09:52,483
acting out
all her wild sexual fantasies,
139
00:09:52,557 --> 00:09:55,685
You know... l don't mind.
- You don't mind.
140
00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:58,251
- Oh, she'll get it
out of her system,
141
00:09:58,330 --> 00:10:00,025
and then live happily ever after.
142
00:10:00,098 --> 00:10:02,259
- That almost makes sense.
143
00:10:08,573 --> 00:10:09,733
- Hmm...
144
00:10:09,808 --> 00:10:13,642
l just wish l had
one of those Pope hats. You know?
145
00:10:16,047 --> 00:10:18,948
What do you think -
pants on, or off?
146
00:10:20,018 --> 00:10:20,746
- No, Mom, l cannot have
this conversation
147
00:10:20,785 --> 00:10:22,252
with you right now.
Come in!
148
00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:23,810
You're being unreasonable.
149
00:10:23,888 --> 00:10:26,220
l have to hang up. Bye.
150
00:10:29,594 --> 00:10:31,027
Father Nick.
151
00:10:31,096 --> 00:10:33,530
l still can't believe
you would give up your evening
152
00:10:33,598 --> 00:10:35,031
to come and talk to me.
153
00:10:35,100 --> 00:10:38,001
- Well, they don't call us
self-sacrificing for nothing.
154
00:10:38,069 --> 00:10:39,536
Now, where should we start?
155
00:10:39,604 --> 00:10:40,901
- Come in.
156
00:10:47,045 --> 00:10:49,377
Can l offer you a drink?
Oh, wait -
157
00:10:49,447 --> 00:10:51,779
l guess you don't...
except on Sunday.
158
00:10:51,850 --> 00:10:54,614
- Let's just get straight
to those lustful thoughts.
159
00:10:54,686 --> 00:10:57,416
Now, l've found
with my many parishioners
160
00:10:57,489 --> 00:11:00,925
that a little physical contact
makes them feel less alone.
161
00:11:00,992 --> 00:11:03,756
- Yes, that is comforting.
162
00:11:03,828 --> 00:11:05,193
Very comforting.
163
00:11:05,263 --> 00:11:09,324
- Perhaps you could move the burden
from your small shoulders onto mine
164
00:11:09,401 --> 00:11:11,801
if you speak openly
about your fantasies,
165
00:11:11,870 --> 00:11:14,134
holding absolutely nothing back.
166
00:11:14,205 --> 00:11:16,799
l mean, give me the details.
167
00:11:17,942 --> 00:11:20,172
- This is so embarrassing.
168
00:11:20,245 --> 00:11:23,840
- Well, a doctor can't make you better
unless you tell him your symptoms.
169
00:11:23,915 --> 00:11:25,212
Right?
170
00:11:27,385 --> 00:11:29,649
- Okay, well...
171
00:11:29,721 --> 00:11:31,746
like l was saying before, l'll...
172
00:11:31,823 --> 00:11:34,485
see a guy and l'll just want to--
173
00:11:34,559 --> 00:11:36,186
- Tear off his clothes
174
00:11:36,261 --> 00:11:39,424
with your teeth?
- Yes. Yes, there's that.
175
00:11:39,497 --> 00:11:41,897
Then l... then we're both--
176
00:11:41,966 --> 00:11:43,228
- Naked?
177
00:11:45,603 --> 00:11:46,797
- And then, uh-
178
00:11:46,871 --> 00:11:48,668
- And then...
179
00:11:50,442 --> 00:11:52,706
- And then...
- And...
180
00:11:52,777 --> 00:11:54,836
then...
181
00:11:58,116 --> 00:11:59,811
- My engagement ring.
182
00:12:07,726 --> 00:12:09,193
- Can you see it?
183
00:12:10,395 --> 00:12:11,862
- Almost...
- C'mere.
184
00:12:14,065 --> 00:12:15,692
l-l think l've got it.
185
00:12:27,579 --> 00:12:29,012
- My ring.
186
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:30,877
- Oh... sorry. Yes.
187
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:37,114
- Surprise?
188
00:12:43,461 --> 00:12:48,296
- But now these gifts
are especially for your honeymoon.
189
00:12:51,536 --> 00:12:53,800
- Thank you.
- So sexy.
190
00:12:53,872 --> 00:12:55,863
- You look a lot like a guy
191
00:12:55,940 --> 00:12:57,373
my roommate used to date.
192
00:12:57,442 --> 00:12:59,808
l never met him -
she showed me snapshots.
193
00:12:59,878 --> 00:13:04,144
Her name is Liz Appleton.
- His name is even Nick!
194
00:13:04,215 --> 00:13:06,547
- Well, you know,
195
00:13:06,618 --> 00:13:10,054
as the Bible famously says,
small world, isn't it?
196
00:13:10,121 --> 00:13:12,282
- l didn't know
that was from the Bible.
197
00:13:12,357 --> 00:13:15,622
- Hmm? Yes. Yes, it is.
198
00:13:15,693 --> 00:13:17,661
Corinthians, 7:1 1 .
199
00:13:17,729 --> 00:13:19,697
''Thus begat a world of smallness.''
200
00:13:19,764 --> 00:13:22,756
- Yeah, she said
they had sex all the time.
201
00:13:22,834 --> 00:13:24,131
This guy was, like, so hot.
202
00:13:24,202 --> 00:13:26,466
- Maggie!
203
00:13:26,538 --> 00:13:28,529
- lt's fine.
Talk as if l weren't here.
204
00:13:28,606 --> 00:13:30,836
lt's your party.
What else did she say about him?
205
00:13:30,909 --> 00:13:32,809
- Actually, he dumped her
for her best friend.
206
00:13:32,877 --> 00:13:35,641
- What a creep.
- Yeah, an absolute scumbag.
207
00:13:35,713 --> 00:13:38,375
- Maybe he didn't know
the other woman was her best friend.
208
00:13:38,449 --> 00:13:40,440
l mean, that could've been
incredibly bad luck.
209
00:13:40,518 --> 00:13:42,713
You meet someone in a bar,
you don't say,
210
00:13:42,787 --> 00:13:45,221
''Oh, can l have a list
of all your best friends
211
00:13:45,290 --> 00:13:47,315
in case l'm sleeping
with one of them.''
212
00:13:47,392 --> 00:13:48,689
No...
213
00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:50,523
And maybe...
214
00:13:50,595 --> 00:13:54,053
the relationship wasn't going well,
except the physical side.
215
00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:58,569
Maybe the poor guy was...
just looking for love.
216
00:13:59,938 --> 00:14:02,133
Aren't we all just...
217
00:14:02,207 --> 00:14:03,674
looking for love?
218
00:14:05,944 --> 00:14:08,174
Well, maybe not all of us.
219
00:14:10,882 --> 00:14:12,349
- Who wants cake?
220
00:14:13,885 --> 00:14:16,683
- Mm, cracking Beaujolais.
221
00:14:16,754 --> 00:14:18,153
- Bye
- Are you sure
222
00:14:18,223 --> 00:14:22,887
he's not just some cute guy
that you dressed up as a priest
223
00:14:22,961 --> 00:14:24,929
so Andre wouldn't get suspicious?
224
00:14:24,996 --> 00:14:26,987
- He's an angel. Go home.
225
00:14:27,065 --> 00:14:28,191
Bye.
226
00:14:34,239 --> 00:14:37,208
- lf you leave the church...
my number.
227
00:14:51,256 --> 00:14:53,019
- Did you write these books?
228
00:14:53,091 --> 00:14:54,183
- Yes.
229
00:14:55,927 --> 00:14:57,394
God, l feel so guilty.
230
00:14:57,462 --> 00:14:59,760
lf Andre knew,
he would be crushed.
231
00:14:59,831 --> 00:15:01,992
- Oh, l don't know, we're all human.
232
00:15:02,066 --> 00:15:04,034
He's probably having
the same fantasies himself.
233
00:15:04,102 --> 00:15:05,797
- Oh, no! Not Andre.
234
00:15:05,870 --> 00:15:07,428
He's incredibly moral,
235
00:15:07,505 --> 00:15:09,735
Not to mention generous and kind
236
00:15:09,807 --> 00:15:11,707
and smart and--
237
00:15:11,776 --> 00:15:14,244
- No one's that good.
238
00:15:14,312 --> 00:15:16,041
- Andre is.
239
00:15:16,114 --> 00:15:18,810
- Well, you're obviously
in some sort of denial.
240
00:15:20,251 --> 00:15:22,185
- Excuse me.
241
00:15:24,222 --> 00:15:29,285
- He's probably some sunken-chested,
snivelling little rat,
242
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:32,158
not to mention seriously undersexed.
243
00:15:32,230 --> 00:15:33,993
Probably about four-foot tall,
244
00:15:34,065 --> 00:15:35,555
no brains...
245
00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:44,005
- Hello!
246
00:15:44,075 --> 00:15:45,599
l'm Andre Reid.
247
00:15:45,677 --> 00:15:48,111
- Nick Francis.
Father Nick Francis.
248
00:15:48,179 --> 00:15:50,875
- Father Nick has been giving me
some spiritual counselling
249
00:15:50,949 --> 00:15:53,008
before the wedding.
- Oh, that's wonderful.
250
00:15:53,084 --> 00:15:54,574
What church are you with?
251
00:15:54,652 --> 00:15:57,177
- Oh, l would say a priest
is with all churches,
252
00:15:57,255 --> 00:15:58,722
in a profound sense.
253
00:16:02,527 --> 00:16:04,119
- Uh... l met him at St. Andrew's.
254
00:16:04,195 --> 00:16:06,925
- Oh, the cathedral downtown.
l've never been there.
255
00:16:06,998 --> 00:16:10,764
- Good - it's a good church.
Fine. Very holy.
256
00:16:10,835 --> 00:16:12,928
- Where did you study?
- Pardon?
257
00:16:13,004 --> 00:16:14,471
- Uh, where did you study?
258
00:16:14,539 --> 00:16:17,906
- Oh... l-l've... l've taken
a vow of silence about that.
259
00:16:17,976 --> 00:16:19,944
- Excuse me?
260
00:16:20,011 --> 00:16:22,104
- Well, l did rather well
at priest school,
261
00:16:22,180 --> 00:16:25,638
and it was a very prestigious one,
so as an act of modesty,
262
00:16:25,717 --> 00:16:28,117
l vowed never to tell anyone
where l studied.
263
00:16:29,721 --> 00:16:30,949
- l've never heard
264
00:16:31,022 --> 00:16:32,785
of anything like that.
- Well, you know,
265
00:16:32,857 --> 00:16:35,758
l like to keep my spiritual standards
as high as possible.
266
00:16:35,827 --> 00:16:38,455
Not this newfangled, holy-means,
playing-Kumbaya-on-the-guitar.
267
00:16:38,529 --> 00:16:40,656
No, no, l'm much more of a...
268
00:16:40,732 --> 00:16:42,791
nail-me-up-on-the-cross
kind of guy!
269
00:16:44,535 --> 00:16:46,162
Mm...
- Wow.
270
00:16:46,237 --> 00:16:47,636
- That's great.
271
00:16:52,577 --> 00:16:54,511
Hey, l, uh...
272
00:16:54,579 --> 00:16:57,514
just wanted to thank you
for helping me.
273
00:16:57,582 --> 00:17:01,541
- Oh, l didn't help you
as much as l wanted to, Vanessa.
274
00:17:01,619 --> 00:17:03,450
l... l had such high hopes.
275
00:17:03,521 --> 00:17:07,685
- Well, l guess the important thing is,
l can make it to my wedding day
276
00:17:07,759 --> 00:17:11,126
without sleeping with another guy,
so we've achieved our goal, Right?
277
00:17:11,195 --> 00:17:12,492
- Yeah.
278
00:17:14,032 --> 00:17:17,001
- Would you... would you come
to the rehearsal tomorrow?
279
00:17:19,037 --> 00:17:21,164
- l don't know,
l have other, uh...
280
00:17:22,874 --> 00:17:24,171
... parishioners.
281
00:17:25,209 --> 00:17:27,643
- Of course. l'm being selfish.
282
00:17:27,712 --> 00:17:31,273
l just thought
that if l did have any...
283
00:17:31,349 --> 00:17:33,317
last-minute pangs of... lust,
284
00:17:33,384 --> 00:17:35,852
you would be there for me?
285
00:17:37,555 --> 00:17:39,523
- Maybe l can free up my schedule.
286
00:17:41,125 --> 00:17:43,116
- You try and be holy.
287
00:17:43,194 --> 00:17:44,821
lt's not easy.
288
00:17:44,896 --> 00:17:46,557
Another tequila, please.
289
00:17:46,631 --> 00:17:49,691
- There's a lot of honeys out there.
Are you sure this one's worth
290
00:17:49,767 --> 00:17:51,860
so much effort?
- She's... beautiful.
291
00:17:53,071 --> 00:17:54,402
So horny!
292
00:17:54,472 --> 00:17:56,406
- She must have some faults.
293
00:17:56,474 --> 00:17:59,170
- No. Not that l've noticed.
294
00:17:59,243 --> 00:18:00,676
- See that blonde?
295
00:18:00,745 --> 00:18:03,009
l'll bet she's better than Vanessa.
296
00:18:03,081 --> 00:18:04,776
- Not even close.
297
00:18:04,849 --> 00:18:06,874
Vanessa's got this special quality.
298
00:18:06,951 --> 00:18:09,715
l've never understood
the word ''radiant'' before.
299
00:18:09,787 --> 00:18:12,119
- But the blonde
isn't getting married in three days.
300
00:18:37,548 --> 00:18:38,981
- Father Nick!
301
00:18:39,050 --> 00:18:40,517
Welcome to my house.
302
00:18:42,186 --> 00:18:43,813
- lt's, uh... it's big.
303
00:18:43,888 --> 00:18:46,049
- Well, when Bill Gates told me
my software idea
304
00:18:46,124 --> 00:18:48,285
was the most brilliant thing
he'd ever seen,
305
00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:50,793
l had to do something
with all the money, huh?
306
00:18:50,862 --> 00:18:52,989
Oh, do you know Father Edward?
Come.
307
00:18:53,064 --> 00:18:56,500
This is Father Nick, the priest
l was telling you about.
308
00:18:56,567 --> 00:18:58,330
- Yes, yes, Andre mentioned
309
00:18:58,402 --> 00:19:00,165
that you're at St. Andrew's.
310
00:19:00,238 --> 00:19:02,433
l know Father James there
very well.
311
00:19:02,507 --> 00:19:04,099
- Oh!
312
00:19:04,175 --> 00:19:06,109
- Oh, my goodness.
313
00:19:06,177 --> 00:19:08,941
Oh, my... l've just remembered,
l have another appointment.
314
00:19:09,013 --> 00:19:12,107
l have a funeral! Yes!
Good job l'm wearing black!
315
00:19:12,183 --> 00:19:14,481
l must run.
- Father Nick?
316
00:19:14,552 --> 00:19:16,076
Father Nick?
317
00:19:16,154 --> 00:19:18,281
Hi. Could you come upstairs
for a minute?
318
00:19:30,434 --> 00:19:32,959
- l need the last rites.
319
00:19:33,037 --> 00:19:35,005
- There's another priest downstairs.
320
00:19:35,072 --> 00:19:37,040
- You're not dying, Mom.
321
00:19:37,108 --> 00:19:39,542
- My heart. lt's fading away.
322
00:19:44,282 --> 00:19:46,147
Beat.
323
00:19:47,218 --> 00:19:48,515
Beat.
324
00:19:48,886 --> 00:19:50,183
Beat.
325
00:19:50,888 --> 00:19:52,321
Please, Father...
326
00:19:52,390 --> 00:19:54,620
the last rites.
327
00:19:54,692 --> 00:19:57,286
- We're not even Catholic!
328
00:19:57,361 --> 00:20:00,524
- You know why l'm dying?
329
00:20:00,598 --> 00:20:02,327
My daughter drove a stake
into my heart!
330
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,027
- l did not!
331
00:20:05,269 --> 00:20:08,329
We really need some emergency
family counselling here.
332
00:20:08,406 --> 00:20:09,668
- Yes, actually,
333
00:20:09,740 --> 00:20:12,675
uh, my specialty
is pre-marital counselling.
334
00:20:12,743 --> 00:20:14,040
- You have a specialty?
335
00:20:14,111 --> 00:20:15,703
- Yes.
336
00:20:15,780 --> 00:20:17,543
- Everyone's waiting.
337
00:20:27,592 --> 00:20:29,526
Oh, who's giving the bride away?
338
00:20:29,594 --> 00:20:31,061
- l don't have anyone.
339
00:20:33,264 --> 00:20:35,698
- Oh! Father Nick can do it.
340
00:20:35,766 --> 00:20:37,028
Father...
341
00:20:37,101 --> 00:20:39,035
Right?
- Would you?
342
00:20:40,271 --> 00:20:41,738
- Well...
343
00:20:41,806 --> 00:20:43,569
- l'd be so grateful.
344
00:20:45,276 --> 00:20:47,039
- Do you know what?
345
00:20:47,111 --> 00:20:48,772
l would love to.
346
00:20:55,453 --> 00:20:58,889
- l used to think about my
wedding day when l was little,
347
00:20:58,956 --> 00:21:01,982
walking down the aisle
on my father's arm.
348
00:21:02,059 --> 00:21:03,492
- Are you all right?
349
00:21:03,561 --> 00:21:04,823
- Yeah.
350
00:21:04,895 --> 00:21:06,863
Just happy... l guess.
351
00:21:07,898 --> 00:21:09,525
At least l've got you.
352
00:21:10,735 --> 00:21:12,726
l can't believe
we just met yesterday.
353
00:21:12,803 --> 00:21:14,828
l feel like l can tell you anything.
354
00:21:14,905 --> 00:21:16,873
lt's because you're a priest,
l guess.
355
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:24,138
- Ahem.
356
00:21:32,256 --> 00:21:34,747
- Father, l... l think
l'm supposed to be standing there.
357
00:21:34,825 --> 00:21:36,759
- Oh, sorry. Yes!
358
00:21:43,701 --> 00:21:46,329
- Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here today
359
00:21:46,404 --> 00:21:48,133
to join in holy--
360
00:21:48,205 --> 00:21:50,435
- l can't do this!
361
00:21:56,514 --> 00:21:58,345
- Probably for the best.
362
00:22:01,819 --> 00:22:04,310
- The wedding is off!
No more wedding!
363
00:22:04,388 --> 00:22:05,855
Wedding's bad.
364
00:22:05,923 --> 00:22:07,823
- There... there must be a reason.
365
00:22:07,892 --> 00:22:10,053
- l'm the wrong person,
that's the reason.
366
00:22:10,127 --> 00:22:13,324
My girlfriends are wonderful people,
maybe you should propose to one of them.
367
00:22:13,397 --> 00:22:15,524
- Okay, okay,
w-w-wait here, wait here.
368
00:22:21,072 --> 00:22:24,303
- lt's not like
that purple satin bridesmaid dress
369
00:22:24,375 --> 00:22:26,172
won't come in handy.
370
00:22:26,243 --> 00:22:27,733
- l just don't understand it.
371
00:22:27,812 --> 00:22:29,837
l mean,
they seem like the perfect couple.
372
00:22:29,914 --> 00:22:31,541
Don't you think so,
Father Nick?
373
00:22:31,615 --> 00:22:34,516
- Who knows? Hmm?
374
00:22:34,585 --> 00:22:36,519
Who knows?
375
00:22:36,587 --> 00:22:39,215
The human heart
is full of surprises.
376
00:22:40,758 --> 00:22:42,988
- Father Nick.
377
00:22:49,934 --> 00:22:51,561
- l thought maybe
Father Nick could help.
378
00:22:51,635 --> 00:22:53,569
- Andre,
l want to tell you something.
379
00:22:53,637 --> 00:22:55,366
- Oh, no, no, no,
l can explain everything.
380
00:22:55,439 --> 00:22:57,498
- l want to elope. Now.
381
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:04,643
l love you.
- l love you.
382
00:23:04,715 --> 00:23:06,979
- Uh, are you sure about this?
383
00:23:07,051 --> 00:23:08,313
- Positive.
384
00:23:08,386 --> 00:23:10,980
- Well, you've obviously been having
second thoughts about this man.
385
00:23:11,055 --> 00:23:13,546
- Not about Andre, about me.
- Well, this is a little unusual,
386
00:23:13,624 --> 00:23:15,922
but if it's what the bride
and groom want.
387
00:23:15,993 --> 00:23:17,153
- lt is.
- Uh, Father,
388
00:23:17,228 --> 00:23:19,321
is there a phone l could use?
389
00:23:19,397 --> 00:23:21,194
- Yes, right through there.
390
00:23:24,235 --> 00:23:25,998
Oh, yes, the marriage, yes.
391
00:23:26,070 --> 00:23:28,004
Well, we'll get right on it here.
392
00:23:28,072 --> 00:23:30,302
We'll, uh... we'll, uh...
393
00:23:30,374 --> 00:23:32,274
Have you got the rings?
394
00:23:32,343 --> 00:23:33,833
- Hello.
395
00:23:33,911 --> 00:23:35,139
- Steve,
396
00:23:35,212 --> 00:23:37,043
l've done something stupid.
397
00:23:37,114 --> 00:23:38,877
- l know.
You've disguised yourself as a priest
398
00:23:38,949 --> 00:23:40,507
to trick a woman
into sleeping with you.
399
00:23:40,584 --> 00:23:42,142
- No, no, no, it's worse than that.
- Worse?
400
00:23:42,219 --> 00:23:45,586
- l've fallen in love with her.
We were standing in front of the priest,
401
00:23:45,656 --> 00:23:48,853
and it was like suddenly
l wanted him to say,
402
00:23:48,926 --> 00:23:51,190
''Do you, Nick Francis,
take this woman?''
403
00:23:51,262 --> 00:23:54,288
And then her fiance pushed me aside
as if l meant absolutely nothing.
404
00:23:54,365 --> 00:23:57,425
- Nick Francis in love.
Are you sure about this?
405
00:23:57,501 --> 00:23:59,230
- l'm sure.
406
00:23:59,937 --> 00:24:02,030
- Well, at least it was only
the wedding rehearsal.
407
00:24:02,106 --> 00:24:04,074
You still got two days
to break up her engagement.
408
00:24:04,141 --> 00:24:07,372
- No.
She's getting married right now.
409
00:24:07,445 --> 00:24:09,470
- l guess you lost this one, buddy.
Tough break.
410
00:24:09,547 --> 00:24:12,539
- Let me talk to him.
l've been in the exact same situation!
411
00:24:12,616 --> 00:24:14,675
- l wouldn't have thought
it was that common.
412
00:24:14,752 --> 00:24:17,277
- Forty years ago, l fell in love
with a beautiful woman.
413
00:24:17,354 --> 00:24:20,619
- Wh-wh-who are you?
- She was engaged
414
00:24:20,691 --> 00:24:23,819
to someone else.
- Did she think you were a priest?
415
00:24:23,894 --> 00:24:26,920
- Maybe not the exact same situation,
but similar.
416
00:24:26,997 --> 00:24:31,593
The night before the wedding,
l decided honesty was the best policy.
417
00:24:31,669 --> 00:24:35,230
l told her my true feelings.
She called off the wedding,
418
00:24:35,306 --> 00:24:37,069
married me instead.
- Huh.
419
00:24:37,141 --> 00:24:38,836
- Honesty.
420
00:24:38,909 --> 00:24:41,070
Now there's a thought.
421
00:24:41,145 --> 00:24:44,137
- That's beautiful.
So everything turned out great.
422
00:24:44,215 --> 00:24:48,015
- No. Her fiance bought a shotgun,
tried to kill me!
423
00:24:48,085 --> 00:24:51,179
My leg still hurts on rainy days.
424
00:24:51,255 --> 00:24:53,883
And the lying bitch was frigid!
425
00:24:55,092 --> 00:24:57,322
- Nick! Nick, are you still there?
426
00:24:58,596 --> 00:25:00,427
- Honesty is the best policy.
427
00:25:00,498 --> 00:25:02,625
Andre, can l have a word
in private, please?
428
00:25:02,700 --> 00:25:03,997
- Why, Father?
429
00:25:05,870 --> 00:25:09,169
- The younger priests
have a whole new way.
430
00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:11,299
lt's a new generation.
431
00:25:11,375 --> 00:25:13,309
- Ah.
- Hands on.
432
00:25:13,377 --> 00:25:14,776
- Right.
433
00:25:14,845 --> 00:25:16,472
- Um, so, Andre, um...
434
00:25:16,547 --> 00:25:19,015
there's something
l'd like to speak to you about.
435
00:25:19,083 --> 00:25:20,345
Uh...
436
00:25:21,719 --> 00:25:23,550
Andre, you can't marry Vanessa.
437
00:25:23,621 --> 00:25:25,782
- Why not?
- Uh..,
438
00:25:25,856 --> 00:25:27,881
l can't tell you.
439
00:25:29,727 --> 00:25:32,696
- l'm confused, Father.
Wh-wh-why can't you tell me?
440
00:25:32,763 --> 00:25:35,061
- Because...
she confided the reason to me
441
00:25:35,132 --> 00:25:38,795
in the sanctity of the confessional
and my lips are sealed.
442
00:25:38,869 --> 00:25:42,202
So l think the best solution
to this little problem
443
00:25:42,273 --> 00:25:44,298
is for you to trust me,
444
00:25:44,375 --> 00:25:46,843
call off the wedding,
and don't tell her
445
00:25:46,911 --> 00:25:48,503
that l said anything.
446
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:53,345
- l'm sure if it's important,
Vanessa will tell me herself.
447
00:25:54,251 --> 00:25:55,684
- Let's play charades!
448
00:25:56,587 --> 00:25:58,214
- Charades?
449
00:25:58,289 --> 00:26:00,883
- Charades. That way,
l wouldn't be telling you anything.
450
00:26:00,958 --> 00:26:03,324
- Father, l've never heard
of anything like this.
451
00:26:03,394 --> 00:26:05,259
- l just think as a priest, sometimes,
452
00:26:05,329 --> 00:26:07,524
it's better for me
to put the greater good
453
00:26:07,598 --> 00:26:10,066
ahead of a little, teensy-weensy,
little bit of a good!
454
00:26:10,134 --> 00:26:13,103
- But the sanctity
of the confessional, Fath...
455
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:19,040
Six words.
First word.
456
00:26:20,878 --> 00:26:22,505
Uh... uh...
457
00:26:25,516 --> 00:26:27,074
Uh, you're, uh, riding a bicycle.
458
00:26:27,151 --> 00:26:28,778
Uh, you're swinging a rope.
459
00:26:28,852 --> 00:26:30,479
You're, uh, swinging...
You're...
460
00:26:30,554 --> 00:26:32,545
you're slapping somebody!
You're wiggling...
461
00:26:32,623 --> 00:26:34,591
Father, l...
462
00:26:34,658 --> 00:26:37,058
l don't know what...
You're kissing the air,
463
00:26:37,127 --> 00:26:39,254
you're, uh, kissing the air...
464
00:26:39,330 --> 00:26:41,161
Um, you're...
465
00:26:41,231 --> 00:26:43,096
Ooh-ooh, oh...
466
00:26:43,167 --> 00:26:44,862
you're looking at your fingernails!
Fingernails...
467
00:26:44,935 --> 00:26:47,062
You're nearsighted.
Farsighted.
468
00:26:47,137 --> 00:26:48,331
Dancing.
469
00:26:48,772 --> 00:26:49,739
Dancing...
470
00:26:49,807 --> 00:26:52,901
You're Hawaii, from Hawaii.
471
00:26:52,977 --> 00:26:54,376
Hawaii? No?
472
00:26:54,445 --> 00:26:55,707
Uh...
473
00:26:57,214 --> 00:26:58,203
Okay, opposite.
474
00:26:58,282 --> 00:27:00,341
Opposite... Uh, boxing.
475
00:27:00,417 --> 00:27:01,782
Boxing, boxing...
476
00:27:01,852 --> 00:27:02,944
Uh...
477
00:27:03,020 --> 00:27:04,385
You're very, uh...
478
00:27:04,455 --> 00:27:06,980
You're strong, you're strong!
You're, uh, strong.
479
00:27:07,057 --> 00:27:08,490
You're spitting...
480
00:27:08,559 --> 00:27:10,652
You're very manly, very man...
481
00:27:10,728 --> 00:27:12,161
Man! You're a man.
482
00:27:12,229 --> 00:27:14,663
You're a man. Opposite - woman.
You're a woman.
483
00:27:14,732 --> 00:27:15,960
A woman... a small woman.
484
00:27:16,033 --> 00:27:17,660
You're a woman...
You're a she.
485
00:27:17,735 --> 00:27:20,829
She. She! She... Two words.
486
00:27:20,904 --> 00:27:23,498
Second word, yes.
Uh, sounds like...
487
00:27:23,574 --> 00:27:24,973
Sounds like...
488
00:27:25,042 --> 00:27:27,010
Uh, you're crawling
on the ground.
489
00:27:27,077 --> 00:27:28,908
You're crawling on the ground...
490
00:27:28,979 --> 00:27:31,607
You're a dog,
you're a dog spinning...
491
00:27:31,682 --> 00:27:33,115
chasing his tail
You're...
492
00:27:33,183 --> 00:27:34,650
You're playing the piano...
493
00:27:34,718 --> 00:27:36,117
Oh, you're being eaten alive
494
00:27:36,186 --> 00:27:38,654
by... You've got ants on you!
495
00:27:38,722 --> 00:27:39,620
Ants! ANTS!!
496
00:27:39,690 --> 00:27:41,749
Ants... You've got ants,
sounds like ants...
497
00:27:41,825 --> 00:27:42,951
Went. She went...
498
00:27:43,027 --> 00:27:45,552
She w... wants.
She wants...
499
00:27:45,629 --> 00:27:46,618
Third word.
500
00:27:46,697 --> 00:27:48,255
Two... two, two.
501
00:27:48,332 --> 00:27:50,323
Two. Two.
She wants to...
502
00:27:50,401 --> 00:27:52,301
To... Fourth word.
503
00:27:52,369 --> 00:27:54,963
Second... two syllables.
First syllable...
504
00:27:55,039 --> 00:27:58,270
She wants to...
Um, you're like...
505
00:27:58,342 --> 00:28:00,867
Oh, you're like a mother
kissing the baby.
506
00:28:00,944 --> 00:28:02,002
Kissing...
507
00:28:02,079 --> 00:28:04,343
Kissing the baby. No.
She wants to fly
508
00:28:04,415 --> 00:28:06,383
She wants to fly...
She's a...
509
00:28:06,450 --> 00:28:08,782
a fairy. She's a...
510
00:28:08,852 --> 00:28:11,343
she's eating candle wax.
511
00:28:11,422 --> 00:28:12,889
She wants to...
512
00:28:12,956 --> 00:28:14,446
Eating candle wax...
513
00:28:14,525 --> 00:28:15,787
she's...
514
00:28:18,529 --> 00:28:21,054
You're a Japanese airplane?
515
00:28:25,703 --> 00:28:27,796
A fly! She wants to fly...
516
00:28:27,871 --> 00:28:29,634
No. She wants to fly...
517
00:28:29,707 --> 00:28:32,232
she wants to fly...
she wants to... Ah!
518
00:28:32,309 --> 00:28:34,641
She wants to... A bee!
She wants to be...
519
00:28:34,712 --> 00:28:36,805
Oh, she wants to be.
She wants to be...
520
00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:38,245
Two. Yeah, second syllable.
521
00:28:38,315 --> 00:28:39,805
Uh...
522
00:28:42,386 --> 00:28:44,650
She wants to be...
523
00:28:50,828 --> 00:28:52,591
Father, l hate to say it,
524
00:28:52,663 --> 00:28:54,494
but it looks an awful lot like a...
525
00:28:54,565 --> 00:28:55,862
an org...
526
00:28:56,767 --> 00:28:58,098
Aha-ha-ha-ha!
527
00:28:58,168 --> 00:28:59,499
- Ha-ha-ha!
528
00:28:59,570 --> 00:29:02,164
- She wants to become!
529
00:29:03,073 --> 00:29:04,870
Fifth word.
530
00:29:04,942 --> 00:29:06,034
A.
531
00:29:06,110 --> 00:29:08,010
She wants to become a...
532
00:29:08,078 --> 00:29:10,979
Sixth word. Final word.
533
00:29:11,048 --> 00:29:12,515
Final word...!
534
00:29:12,583 --> 00:29:15,347
She wants to become...
She wants to become an egg!
535
00:29:15,419 --> 00:29:17,114
There's a fly around her head.
536
00:29:17,187 --> 00:29:19,712
She's...
No, she wants to become
537
00:29:19,790 --> 00:29:22,452
a holy person.
She wants to become...
538
00:29:22,526 --> 00:29:23,891
the world.
539
00:29:23,961 --> 00:29:26,020
Opposite. Opposite...
540
00:29:26,096 --> 00:29:28,860
She's, uh...
You're showing...
541
00:29:28,932 --> 00:29:31,025
your bum,
you're showing your bum
542
00:29:31,101 --> 00:29:33,365
to people
Oh, you're lifting...
543
00:29:33,437 --> 00:29:35,598
You're a stripper?
You're a stripper...
544
00:29:35,672 --> 00:29:37,401
you're a...
Opposite of a stripper.
545
00:29:37,474 --> 00:29:39,874
Opposite of a stripper.
You put your clothes on.
546
00:29:39,943 --> 00:29:41,467
You put your clothes on and pray.
547
00:29:41,545 --> 00:29:42,807
You pray...
- Ohm...
548
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:44,370
- You're a Buddhist monk.
549
00:29:44,448 --> 00:29:47,383
You're a fat Buddhist monk.
Jesus. Uh...
550
00:29:47,451 --> 00:29:49,749
A nun!!!
- Yes!
551
00:29:49,820 --> 00:29:51,481
- She wants to become...
552
00:29:51,555 --> 00:29:53,250
She wants to become a nun?
553
00:29:59,029 --> 00:30:01,054
- l've been ditched.
- Ditched is such a harsh word.
554
00:30:01,131 --> 00:30:04,328
Why don't you think of it
as being set free.
555
00:30:04,401 --> 00:30:07,837
- He won't even tell me why.
- Well, you wouldn't tell him
556
00:30:07,905 --> 00:30:09,998
why you called off the wedding
earlier today.
557
00:30:10,073 --> 00:30:11,472
- l was too ashamed.
558
00:30:11,542 --> 00:30:13,339
- So it was the lust problem.
559
00:30:13,410 --> 00:30:15,173
- Mm.
560
00:30:15,245 --> 00:30:17,213
lt's bigger than you realize.
561
00:30:19,249 --> 00:30:21,547
My family has...
562
00:30:21,618 --> 00:30:23,176
hereditary lust.
563
00:30:23,253 --> 00:30:24,914
lt's in the genes.
564
00:30:24,988 --> 00:30:27,752
- Your mother
seems to have it under control.
565
00:30:27,825 --> 00:30:30,794
- My father.
- l thought he'd passed away.
566
00:30:30,861 --> 00:30:33,853
- My mom kicked him out
six months ago.
567
00:30:33,931 --> 00:30:36,491
He had a wandering eye...
568
00:30:36,567 --> 00:30:38,125
hands...
other things.
569
00:30:38,202 --> 00:30:41,103
- And you think
you've got the same problem.
570
00:30:41,171 --> 00:30:42,900
- Yes. But with your help,
571
00:30:42,973 --> 00:30:46,170
l do think
l could make a marriage work.
572
00:30:46,243 --> 00:30:47,369
- Mm...
573
00:30:47,444 --> 00:30:49,969
it's only been 24 hours.
574
00:30:50,047 --> 00:30:51,537
- You're right.
575
00:30:51,615 --> 00:30:53,640
l probably wouldn't have lasted
much longer.
576
00:30:53,717 --> 00:30:55,548
- Have you considered
the possibility
577
00:30:55,619 --> 00:30:58,986
that God was trying
to give you a message?
578
00:30:59,056 --> 00:31:03,493
- God wanted me to have an affair
right before my wedding?
579
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:05,357
That seems unlikely.
580
00:31:05,429 --> 00:31:07,158
- Maybe he was trying to tell you
581
00:31:07,231 --> 00:31:09,995
that Andre is the wrong man.
582
00:31:10,067 --> 00:31:13,036
Maybe, somehow,
this whole thing was a way for God,
583
00:31:13,103 --> 00:31:16,072
Fate, call it what you will,
584
00:31:16,139 --> 00:31:20,098
to get you to meet the right man
585
00:31:20,177 --> 00:31:21,667
under amazing circumstances,
586
00:31:21,745 --> 00:31:25,681
circumstances
that you will look back on one day,
587
00:31:25,749 --> 00:31:28,013
laugh about,
588
00:31:28,085 --> 00:31:30,212
telling your grandchildren...
589
00:31:33,257 --> 00:31:34,724
Vanessa?
590
00:31:42,266 --> 00:31:43,893
- Father Edward explained to me
591
00:31:43,967 --> 00:31:46,299
that it's very common,
when people are first exposed
592
00:31:46,370 --> 00:31:48,702
to a new religion,
to get a little carried away.
593
00:31:48,772 --> 00:31:51,605
He assured me that Vanessa's case
is nothing more than that.
594
00:31:51,675 --> 00:31:52,801
l was so relieved.
595
00:31:52,876 --> 00:31:55,936
- Mm, l'm sure you were.
- Although you were wrong on this one,
596
00:31:56,013 --> 00:31:57,139
l really appreciate your concern.
597
00:31:57,214 --> 00:31:59,375
You're a credit to that collar,
Father Nick.
598
00:31:59,449 --> 00:32:02,350
You will be at the wedding
the day after tomorrow, won't you?
599
00:32:27,911 --> 00:32:29,572
- Father, are you all right?
- l'm fine!
600
00:32:29,646 --> 00:32:31,238
- Would you like me
to get a doctor?
601
00:32:31,315 --> 00:32:32,247
- No!
602
00:32:32,316 --> 00:32:34,250
- But if you're suffering!
603
00:32:34,318 --> 00:32:35,615
- l'm not suffering!
604
00:32:35,686 --> 00:32:38,484
- Ah, maybe this is a test.
Maybe God is trying to find out
605
00:32:38,555 --> 00:32:40,489
if l'm as worthy
as the Good Samaritan.
606
00:32:40,557 --> 00:32:43,253
- lt's not a test, okay!
607
00:32:43,327 --> 00:32:46,819
- lf l leave you, l could be
dooming myself to eternity in hell!
608
00:32:46,897 --> 00:32:48,592
- Bless you - now fuck off!
609
00:32:48,665 --> 00:32:50,963
- HEY! THERE'S A SICK PRIEST HERE!
610
00:32:51,034 --> 00:32:52,729
Right here!
611
00:32:52,803 --> 00:32:54,202
He wasn't gonna...
612
00:32:54,271 --> 00:32:56,000
THE PRIEST!
HE COULD BE DYING!
613
00:33:00,277 --> 00:33:02,575
- Hi, Mom.
- You'll never give me grandchildren.
614
00:33:02,646 --> 00:33:05,444
l might have seen this coming
if we were Catholic.
615
00:33:08,085 --> 00:33:09,950
- What are you wearing?!
616
00:33:10,020 --> 00:33:12,011
- l was going to fix you up
617
00:33:12,089 --> 00:33:13,716
with Mrs. Layton's niece.
She's lovely.
618
00:33:13,790 --> 00:33:16,122
But not if it's going to cost you
your career.
619
00:33:16,193 --> 00:33:17,683
- That's why l'm doing this!
620
00:33:17,761 --> 00:33:19,854
- This has something to do
with Mrs. Layton's niece?
621
00:33:19,930 --> 00:33:22,831
- No!
l'm doing it because l'm in love.
622
00:33:22,899 --> 00:33:24,924
She's getting married in two days.
623
00:33:25,002 --> 00:33:27,266
- So you're a priest
and getting married in two days?
624
00:33:27,337 --> 00:33:29,862
- No, she's marrying someone else.
625
00:33:29,940 --> 00:33:32,272
- You've lost your mind.
My son has lost his mind!
626
00:33:32,342 --> 00:33:34,833
On the bright side,
l might get grandchildren after all.
627
00:33:34,911 --> 00:33:37,141
Of course they might need
a little remedial schooling.
628
00:33:37,214 --> 00:33:38,943
- Mom, l will give you grandchildren
someday.
629
00:33:39,016 --> 00:33:43,112
- The men you date, l don't want
to see what evil spawn they'd breed.
630
00:33:43,186 --> 00:33:46,952
- l haven't lost my mind.
l met the perfect woman.
631
00:33:47,024 --> 00:33:49,049
She's beautiful and so hor--
632
00:33:49,126 --> 00:33:51,617
- She's a whore?!
And she's a thing for priests?
633
00:33:51,695 --> 00:33:53,959
Call me old-fashioned,
but l think that's sick!
634
00:33:54,031 --> 00:33:55,191
- She's not a whore!
635
00:33:55,265 --> 00:33:57,733
She's bright and funny and...
636
00:33:57,801 --> 00:33:59,428
What's the point?
637
00:33:59,503 --> 00:34:01,164
l've lost her.
638
00:34:08,712 --> 00:34:10,475
- Tell me, Sandy.
639
00:34:10,547 --> 00:34:12,139
Was it something l did?
640
00:34:12,215 --> 00:34:14,513
- Yeah, Mom.
lt was everything you did.
641
00:34:56,593 --> 00:34:57,958
- Something wrong, Nick?
642
00:34:58,028 --> 00:34:59,359
- Uh, no.
643
00:34:59,429 --> 00:35:01,954
l'm just destined
for a life of misery.
644
00:35:02,032 --> 00:35:04,500
- Ah... Romantic troubles, hmm?
645
00:35:05,869 --> 00:35:09,896
- Have you ever lied to a woman
to try and get her into bed
646
00:35:09,973 --> 00:35:12,305
and it all kind of backfired
and you...?
647
00:35:12,375 --> 00:35:14,138
No, l guess not.
648
00:35:14,211 --> 00:35:16,179
- And just how did it backfire?
649
00:35:17,547 --> 00:35:20,141
- l fell in love with her.
650
00:35:20,217 --> 00:35:22,811
But now, even though
she's marrying another man,
651
00:35:22,886 --> 00:35:26,686
l... l don't know how to tell her
that l love her.
652
00:35:26,756 --> 00:35:28,485
She thinks l'm somebody else.
653
00:35:28,558 --> 00:35:29,991
- Well...
654
00:35:30,060 --> 00:35:32,528
what kind of a lie
did you tell her?
655
00:35:34,731 --> 00:35:36,562
- Oh, let's change the subject,
Father.
656
00:35:36,633 --> 00:35:38,726
- Oh, now, come on, Nick.
Now, come on.
657
00:35:38,802 --> 00:35:40,667
lt can't be all that horrible.
658
00:35:40,737 --> 00:35:42,204
What did you do,
659
00:35:42,272 --> 00:35:46,072
suggest you have a lot of money,
a big car,
660
00:35:46,143 --> 00:35:47,667
a really impressive job?
661
00:35:47,744 --> 00:35:49,006
- Mm...
662
00:35:49,079 --> 00:35:51,172
Uh, the last one.
663
00:35:51,248 --> 00:35:54,775
- Well, now,
you have nothing to be ashamed of.
664
00:35:54,851 --> 00:35:57,251
You are an artist
665
00:35:57,320 --> 00:35:59,117
Now, the parishioners
666
00:35:59,189 --> 00:36:01,783
are really raving about your work.
667
00:36:01,858 --> 00:36:03,291
- Thank you.
668
00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:05,487
Thanks, Father James.
- Hmm-hmm.
669
00:36:08,698 --> 00:36:10,666
- l was so afraid
l wouldn't find you.
670
00:36:10,734 --> 00:36:13,635
- l'm going to go
and take my coffee break now.
671
00:36:13,703 --> 00:36:16,137
- Uh... hello.
l'm Father James.
672
00:36:16,206 --> 00:36:18,367
- Hi. Vanessa Sinclair.
673
00:36:18,441 --> 00:36:20,102
Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
674
00:36:20,177 --> 00:36:22,509
- l have to ask you something.
lt's about my wedding.
675
00:36:22,579 --> 00:36:25,639
- Vanessa, me and Father James
have a little business to finish up.
676
00:36:25,715 --> 00:36:27,307
lf you could wait one minute?
677
00:36:27,384 --> 00:36:30,182
- You must be the woman
that Nick has been telling me about.
678
00:36:30,253 --> 00:36:32,016
Now, uh...
679
00:36:32,088 --> 00:36:35,182
l don't think you know the whole truth
about this young man.
680
00:36:35,258 --> 00:36:38,227
- Why don't we do this
sometime next week?
681
00:36:38,295 --> 00:36:40,820
Do the brunch thing.
And... l'm really busy today.
682
00:36:40,897 --> 00:36:43,491
- l'm going to come right out
and say it.
683
00:36:43,567 --> 00:36:47,162
Now, whatever he may have
led you to believe,
684
00:36:47,237 --> 00:36:48,829
the truth about Nick...
685
00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:52,670
He's the finest carpenter
686
00:36:52,742 --> 00:36:54,539
l've ever known.
687
00:36:54,611 --> 00:36:56,704
- Carpenter?
- Yes.
688
00:36:56,780 --> 00:36:58,475
And think what that means.
689
00:36:58,548 --> 00:37:01,278
He can take
a rough piece of wood -
690
00:37:01,351 --> 00:37:04,445
something most people
would walk past without ever noticing -
691
00:37:04,521 --> 00:37:06,250
and then he shapes it
692
00:37:06,323 --> 00:37:08,416
into an object of great beauty
693
00:37:08,491 --> 00:37:11,654
that brings joy
to the rest of the world.
694
00:37:17,867 --> 00:37:19,334
- l understand now.
695
00:37:23,039 --> 00:37:24,165
Jesus was a carpenter.
696
00:37:24,241 --> 00:37:25,970
- Uh...
697
00:37:26,042 --> 00:37:27,532
that's true.
698
00:37:29,045 --> 00:37:32,845
- And we're all
just rough pieces of wood,
699
00:37:32,916 --> 00:37:35,009
until God and the Church
700
00:37:35,085 --> 00:37:38,054
shape us
into beautiful works of art.
701
00:37:40,557 --> 00:37:41,990
- Wha...? Uh-uh-uh...
702
00:37:42,058 --> 00:37:43,389
Why, yes.
703
00:37:44,894 --> 00:37:46,828
- And so you're right.
704
00:37:46,896 --> 00:37:49,626
Our friend here
is a wonderful carpenter.
705
00:37:53,270 --> 00:37:56,637
- l had never thought of priests
as being like carpenters before.
706
00:37:56,706 --> 00:37:59,140
- Father James -
always a sucker for a metaphor.
707
00:37:59,209 --> 00:38:02,872
- l have to confess,
l came here to ask you a favour.
708
00:38:02,946 --> 00:38:03,970
- Great.
709
00:38:04,047 --> 00:38:05,605
Whatever - l'll do it.
710
00:38:05,682 --> 00:38:07,115
- You're such an incredible person.
711
00:38:07,183 --> 00:38:09,651
l haven't even told you
what it is yet!
712
00:38:11,021 --> 00:38:13,455
l want my father to give me away
at the wedding,
713
00:38:13,523 --> 00:38:15,491
even if my mother
never speaks to me again.
714
00:38:15,558 --> 00:38:18,493
l mean, l know what he did,
but he's still my dad.
715
00:38:18,561 --> 00:38:19,960
The thing is...
716
00:38:20,030 --> 00:38:22,828
l'm kind of scared
of going over there alone.
717
00:38:26,369 --> 00:38:28,803
Would you mind
wearing your priest clothes?
718
00:38:28,872 --> 00:38:30,635
He might be more apt
719
00:38:30,707 --> 00:38:33,904
to listening to somebody
who looks like a spiritual authority.
720
00:38:33,977 --> 00:38:35,535
- Actually... they're at home...
721
00:38:35,612 --> 00:38:38,513
- Great! l'd love to see
where you live.
722
00:38:40,216 --> 00:38:41,513
- Great!
723
00:38:47,891 --> 00:38:49,483
- This is not what l expected.
724
00:38:49,559 --> 00:38:51,652
- Research.
- Research?
725
00:38:51,728 --> 00:38:53,821
- l spend most of my nights
reading the Bible.
726
00:38:53,897 --> 00:38:57,298
You know, ''Jesus wept.''
But l can't do my job well
727
00:38:57,367 --> 00:39:00,495
if l lose touch with the life
of the average sinner.
728
00:39:00,570 --> 00:39:03,437
- l guess that makes sense.
- l get so tired, though -
729
00:39:03,506 --> 00:39:06,066
all that raunchy rock music
and X-rated videos.
730
00:39:06,142 --> 00:39:09,600
But as l said,
the name of the game is self-sacrifice.
731
00:39:09,679 --> 00:39:12,113
- You're nothing like l expected
a priest would be.
732
00:39:12,182 --> 00:39:13,809
- l hope that's a compliment.
733
00:39:15,518 --> 00:39:17,145
l'll get my robes.
734
00:39:21,024 --> 00:39:23,549
- They're in their special place
of honour. Of course.
735
00:39:33,870 --> 00:39:35,303
- lt's great to be with you.
736
00:39:36,706 --> 00:39:38,970
- lt's great to be with you, too.
737
00:39:40,610 --> 00:39:42,077
- l mean, with you,
738
00:39:42,145 --> 00:39:43,339
l can be honest.
739
00:39:43,413 --> 00:39:46,712
Most guys would take advantage
of the situation
740
00:39:46,783 --> 00:39:48,307
if they...
741
00:39:48,385 --> 00:39:50,876
knew how l just wanted to...
742
00:39:50,954 --> 00:39:53,855
drag a man
to the nearest bed and...
743
00:40:00,597 --> 00:40:02,189
- Vanessa...
744
00:40:04,467 --> 00:40:06,731
- ls that a tattoo?
745
00:40:07,470 --> 00:40:09,563
- What does it say?
- lt's really embarrassing.
746
00:40:09,639 --> 00:40:12,540
l underwent the excruciating pain
to actually embed in my skin,
747
00:40:12,609 --> 00:40:13,871
like a crown of thorns,
748
00:40:13,943 --> 00:40:18,437
a slogan that would constantly remind me
of the evil that is in one's own heart
749
00:40:18,515 --> 00:40:20,380
that we must wage a battle against!
750
00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:25,217
Amen.
751
00:40:28,224 --> 00:40:32,285
- You know, l'm not so sure
that this is a good idea.
752
00:40:32,362 --> 00:40:34,830
l mean, my mom
would be so humiliated
753
00:40:34,898 --> 00:40:38,026
if my dad came to the wedding
with some... bimbo.
754
00:40:38,101 --> 00:40:40,069
- Oh, come on,
what are the chances of that?
755
00:40:40,136 --> 00:40:42,229
- l'll be right back!
756
00:40:42,305 --> 00:40:45,240
Don't you dare get out of that bed,
hot stuff!
757
00:40:46,943 --> 00:40:48,069
Hi!
758
00:40:49,612 --> 00:40:52,206
Hare Krishna, right?
759
00:40:52,282 --> 00:40:55,046
- Maybe you could save me
a trip to the store.
760
00:40:55,118 --> 00:40:57,552
You wouldn't happen to have
a spare condom,
761
00:40:57,620 --> 00:40:59,053
would you?
762
00:41:01,191 --> 00:41:02,818
- That's what marriage is -
763
00:41:02,892 --> 00:41:04,325
fidelity, right?
764
00:41:04,394 --> 00:41:06,589
- l totally agree.
765
00:41:06,663 --> 00:41:08,187
Absolutely, uh...
766
00:41:08,264 --> 00:41:09,754
Oh, shit.
767
00:41:11,234 --> 00:41:12,258
- Pardon?
768
00:41:12,335 --> 00:41:14,633
- Oh shit-a-hinki-dinki-du.
769
00:41:14,704 --> 00:41:16,137
lt's a... it's a...
770
00:41:16,206 --> 00:41:17,730
it's an old Hindu prayer
771
00:41:17,807 --> 00:41:20,241
which means that when you meet
the right person,
772
00:41:20,310 --> 00:41:22,141
all others must be forgotten,
773
00:41:22,212 --> 00:41:24,510
like the leaves
of another summer...
774
00:41:24,581 --> 00:41:25,707
- Nick?
775
00:41:25,782 --> 00:41:27,147
- Oh, yes...
776
00:41:27,217 --> 00:41:28,411
- Nick, is that you?
777
00:41:28,485 --> 00:41:30,248
- Oh, no, no...
778
00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:32,584
- You're a priest?
779
00:41:32,655 --> 00:41:35,146
Oh, my... No, l don't believe it.
780
00:41:35,225 --> 00:41:36,453
You, of all people.
781
00:41:36,526 --> 00:41:39,188
- Oh, actually, l've always had
a spiritual side, Janice,
782
00:41:39,262 --> 00:41:40,991
l just didn't flaunt it.
783
00:41:41,064 --> 00:41:42,531
- Oh, my God,
784
00:41:42,599 --> 00:41:44,624
this feels so weird.
785
00:41:44,701 --> 00:41:47,169
l mean, just to think
that l had the...
786
00:41:47,237 --> 00:41:49,467
hottest sex of my life
with a priest.
787
00:41:50,773 --> 00:41:52,502
That is just too kinky for words.
788
00:41:52,575 --> 00:41:54,941
You know, l was...
789
00:41:55,011 --> 00:41:57,741
thinking about maybe
giving you a call sometime,
790
00:41:57,814 --> 00:41:59,509
have another go at it?
791
00:41:59,582 --> 00:42:02,278
But l guess,
under the current circumstances,
792
00:42:02,352 --> 00:42:03,842
that would be out of the question.
793
00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:06,115
- Yes, it... it would.
794
00:42:07,557 --> 00:42:09,616
- Well, you sure are full of surprises,
795
00:42:09,692 --> 00:42:12,525
you little devil.
Well, not Devil.
796
00:42:12,595 --> 00:42:15,496
Although in the old days,
797
00:42:15,565 --> 00:42:17,260
that sure would've been
the word for it.
798
00:42:17,333 --> 00:42:18,493
You should've known him then.
799
00:42:19,736 --> 00:42:21,829
Oh, you're not one of those trendy nuns
in streetclothes,
800
00:42:21,905 --> 00:42:23,896
are you?
- No.
801
00:42:23,973 --> 00:42:27,465
- Well, let me tell you something.
He sure showed me heaven
802
00:42:27,544 --> 00:42:29,011
a few times.
803
00:42:32,115 --> 00:42:34,583
- Janice was exaggerating.
804
00:42:34,651 --> 00:42:36,084
l mean, some.
805
00:42:40,924 --> 00:42:42,323
- l've figured it out!
806
00:42:42,392 --> 00:42:45,919
- What?
- Why you said you'd counsel me,
807
00:42:45,995 --> 00:42:47,485
why you came to my home,
808
00:42:47,564 --> 00:42:49,896
why we've been spending
all this time together!
809
00:42:49,966 --> 00:42:52,434
- Vanessa,
this is not how it looks.
810
00:42:52,502 --> 00:42:55,096
- l thought a priest
would've led too sheltered a life
811
00:42:55,171 --> 00:42:57,071
to understand
what l have been going through.
812
00:42:57,140 --> 00:42:59,540
But you...
813
00:42:59,609 --> 00:43:01,634
lf l hadn't met you,
814
00:43:01,711 --> 00:43:04,043
l probably would've slept
with another man
815
00:43:04,113 --> 00:43:06,138
and had to call off my wedding.
816
00:43:06,215 --> 00:43:08,911
Do you know how upset
Andre would've been?!
817
00:43:08,985 --> 00:43:10,885
- lt's really important
that you marry the right person.
818
00:43:10,954 --> 00:43:13,752
Andre, he will understand.
819
00:43:13,823 --> 00:43:16,291
A little bit of time and--
- My girlfriends are throwing me
820
00:43:16,359 --> 00:43:19,123
a bachelorette party tonight.
l was a little worried about it.
821
00:43:19,195 --> 00:43:21,459
To be honest,
you know how they can be.
822
00:43:21,531 --> 00:43:23,158
- Vanessa...
823
00:43:23,232 --> 00:43:25,359
can we talk, talk?
824
00:43:25,435 --> 00:43:29,166
- No, we don't have to!
That's what l'm trying to say.
825
00:43:29,238 --> 00:43:30,671
l hear you.
826
00:43:30,740 --> 00:43:33,732
l just have to put other men
out of my mind
827
00:43:33,810 --> 00:43:37,041
and focus on Andre.
828
00:43:37,113 --> 00:43:40,207
His friends are throwing him
a stag party tonight, also,
829
00:43:40,283 --> 00:43:42,751
and l don't have the slightest fear
830
00:43:42,819 --> 00:43:45,617
that he'll cheat on me
with another woman.
831
00:43:47,991 --> 00:43:50,221
Nick. Nick!
Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick!
832
00:43:50,259 --> 00:43:52,193
Just wait.
833
00:43:52,261 --> 00:43:54,559
- This way,
they won't think you're a hooker.
834
00:43:55,932 --> 00:43:58,958
Okay, he likes his women
to be very demure and... moral.
835
00:43:59,035 --> 00:44:01,799
Why did l pick you?
Mom would've been better!
836
00:44:01,871 --> 00:44:03,270
Let's just go!
837
00:44:03,339 --> 00:44:05,773
- WHO ATE MY BANANA?!
838
00:44:07,210 --> 00:44:08,768
- You're perfect!
839
00:44:27,930 --> 00:44:29,261
Excuse me!
840
00:44:30,900 --> 00:44:32,527
Hello! Anyone home?!
841
00:44:33,503 --> 00:44:35,698
We met earlier today.
842
00:44:38,574 --> 00:44:41,600
- Oh, yeah.
You're that Hare Krishna guy.
843
00:44:41,678 --> 00:44:44,442
- l thought you were involved
with Mr. Sinclair.
844
00:44:45,748 --> 00:44:47,807
- That old man? Get real.
845
00:44:47,884 --> 00:44:50,375
He's got the apartment upstairs.
846
00:44:57,360 --> 00:45:00,818
- So my little girl's
getting married tomorrow.
847
00:45:00,897 --> 00:45:03,024
- Yeah.
- She didn't invite me.
848
00:45:03,099 --> 00:45:05,226
Well, it's my own fault.
849
00:45:05,301 --> 00:45:07,166
Men are such idiots.
850
00:45:07,236 --> 00:45:09,136
Do we ever want to grow up?
851
00:45:09,205 --> 00:45:10,638
We see a beautiful woman,
852
00:45:10,707 --> 00:45:13,335
before you know it,
you're telling one lie
853
00:45:13,409 --> 00:45:15,877
after another.
854
00:45:15,945 --> 00:45:17,879
You end up all alone.
855
00:45:17,947 --> 00:45:19,380
- But what about all the women?
856
00:45:21,217 --> 00:45:23,310
- There was only one woman.
857
00:45:23,386 --> 00:45:25,980
And it only lasted one night.
858
00:45:26,055 --> 00:45:27,989
lrene wouldn't believe me.
859
00:45:28,057 --> 00:45:30,150
l'm not blaming her.
860
00:45:30,226 --> 00:45:31,716
Once you tell one lie...
861
00:45:31,794 --> 00:45:34,422
And the crazy thing is,
862
00:45:34,497 --> 00:45:37,227
the sex wasn't one-tenth as good
863
00:45:37,300 --> 00:45:38,995
as it was with lrene.
864
00:45:39,068 --> 00:45:40,592
God, l miss her.
865
00:45:40,670 --> 00:45:43,002
- Come to the wedding tomorrow.
866
00:45:43,072 --> 00:45:45,404
- lf l'm not welcome...
867
00:45:45,475 --> 00:45:47,409
- l'll go around to Vanessa's
and explain everything.
868
00:45:47,477 --> 00:45:50,674
- Well, even if Vanessa
will forgive me, lrene won't.
869
00:45:50,747 --> 00:45:54,683
- Get your suit ready
and l'll pick you up in the morning
870
00:45:54,751 --> 00:45:56,582
and we can talk to lrene together.
871
00:47:14,530 --> 00:47:15,622
- Father Nick!
872
00:47:17,366 --> 00:47:20,130
Father Nick!
873
00:47:20,203 --> 00:47:22,967
Oh, l'm so glad you're here!
874
00:47:23,039 --> 00:47:25,132
- Hey, hey, you okay?
875
00:47:25,208 --> 00:47:26,800
- lt was terrible!
876
00:47:26,876 --> 00:47:29,970
My friends took me to this club
877
00:47:30,046 --> 00:47:31,809
with male strippers.
878
00:47:31,881 --> 00:47:35,146
And they paid one of the guys
20 bucks to torture me.
879
00:47:35,218 --> 00:47:36,480
Mm-hmm.
880
00:47:36,552 --> 00:47:38,486
His name was Toro,
the Love Stud!
881
00:47:38,554 --> 00:47:40,647
And he stood right in front of me,
882
00:47:40,723 --> 00:47:42,190
and he went like this!
883
00:47:52,902 --> 00:47:54,597
Who could resist that?
884
00:47:54,670 --> 00:47:56,865
- l don't know.
885
00:48:02,044 --> 00:48:03,773
- Oh, Nick,
886
00:48:03,846 --> 00:48:06,314
now l can't stop thinking about sex.
887
00:48:08,851 --> 00:48:10,785
l know what l should do.
888
00:48:10,853 --> 00:48:12,787
l should sleep with someone.
889
00:48:12,855 --> 00:48:15,153
- You should?
- Yes, yes, for Andre's sake.
890
00:48:16,525 --> 00:48:18,152
l love him. l...
891
00:48:19,028 --> 00:48:20,723
... wonder if Toro's still there.
892
00:48:20,796 --> 00:48:23,162
- Hey, hey, hey.
Vanessa, Vanessa.
893
00:48:23,232 --> 00:48:25,462
Listen to me. Listen.
894
00:48:25,534 --> 00:48:27,126
You're drunk.
895
00:48:27,203 --> 00:48:29,671
lt's not a good time
to make decisions.
896
00:48:30,506 --> 00:48:31,996
- You're right.
897
00:48:33,542 --> 00:48:35,840
Toro's not the right kind of guy.
898
00:48:38,547 --> 00:48:41,015
l need to find someone...
899
00:48:41,083 --> 00:48:43,551
who will never tell anyone...
900
00:48:44,887 --> 00:48:45,854
- Vanessa,
901
00:48:45,922 --> 00:48:47,913
look, l want to -
902
00:48:47,990 --> 00:48:50,959
oh, my God, l want to -
but... l can't.
903
00:48:51,027 --> 00:48:53,154
lt... it's just not right.
904
00:48:53,229 --> 00:48:54,696
- lt feels right.
905
00:48:55,898 --> 00:48:57,365
Doesn't it?
906
00:49:07,843 --> 00:49:10,937
Rip my clothes off baby
907
00:49:11,013 --> 00:49:13,948
'Cause l'm ready for love
908
00:49:14,016 --> 00:49:15,381
l wrote it.
909
00:49:15,451 --> 00:49:17,112
- That's very good.
- l know.
910
00:49:17,186 --> 00:49:19,950
- l always wanted
to be in a rock band, you know?
911
00:49:20,022 --> 00:49:21,785
Like The Carpenters;
they were great.
912
00:49:21,857 --> 00:49:23,950
Okay, okay, no, no, okay,
do it again.
913
00:49:24,026 --> 00:49:25,584
- Okay, okay.
- Do it again, do it again.
914
00:49:25,661 --> 00:49:27,492
So rip my--
Rip my--
915
00:49:27,563 --> 00:49:29,793
Clothes off baby
Clothes off baby
916
00:49:29,865 --> 00:49:33,130
'Cause l'm ready for love
Ready for love
917
00:49:38,741 --> 00:49:40,834
- You gotta get the moves, though.
- The moves?
918
00:49:40,910 --> 00:49:42,468
- Yeah, oh, yeah!
- Oh, no way!
919
00:49:44,213 --> 00:49:47,478
Rip my clothes off
920
00:49:47,550 --> 00:49:48,642
Baby
921
00:49:48,718 --> 00:49:51,346
'Cause l'm ready for love
922
00:49:55,224 --> 00:49:58,216
You ought to try it.
- No, no, l can't, l can't.
923
00:49:58,294 --> 00:50:00,819
No, l can't do it.
l got too many bones.
924
00:50:03,566 --> 00:50:04,999
- Steady... Way.
- Whoa!
925
00:50:05,067 --> 00:50:06,500
- Ooh!
- Okay.
926
00:50:06,569 --> 00:50:09,504
Rip my clothes off baby
927
00:50:09,572 --> 00:50:12,006
'Cause l'm ready for love
928
00:50:12,074 --> 00:50:13,063
- Way!
929
00:50:13,142 --> 00:50:15,906
Oh!
- Okay, l'm okay. You do it?
930
00:50:15,978 --> 00:50:19,436
You do it yourself.
Do it again, do it again.
931
00:50:19,515 --> 00:50:20,504
Do it again.
932
00:50:20,583 --> 00:50:23,347
- lt's like... Rip my...
933
00:50:23,419 --> 00:50:24,852
Rip my
934
00:50:24,920 --> 00:50:26,512
Clothes off
935
00:50:28,424 --> 00:50:29,857
Baby
936
00:50:29,925 --> 00:50:32,359
'Cause l'm...
937
00:50:35,264 --> 00:50:37,232
Wait. Whoa. W-whoa! Hey!
938
00:51:14,737 --> 00:51:16,034
- Oh, sh...
939
00:51:21,744 --> 00:51:24,713
l slept with a priest
the night before my wedding.
940
00:51:26,916 --> 00:51:29,043
l'm really sorry about this.
941
00:51:42,598 --> 00:51:44,691
- Vanessa?
- This didn't happened, okay?
942
00:51:44,767 --> 00:51:48,362
Even if the Pope grills me,
l'll deny everything.
943
00:51:48,437 --> 00:51:50,735
- B-b-but it's great
that this happened.
944
00:51:56,278 --> 00:51:58,212
No, Vanessa,
l'm not really a priest!
945
00:51:58,280 --> 00:52:00,271
l was only pretending!
- Don't question your faith
946
00:52:00,349 --> 00:52:03,375
because of what happened, all right?
You were born to be a priest, Father.
947
00:52:03,452 --> 00:52:05,443
- l-l think you can call me Nick.
948
00:52:05,521 --> 00:52:08,251
- Just tell yourself
it was, like, a... a saintly act.
949
00:52:08,324 --> 00:52:09,951
You know,
you were coming to the aid
950
00:52:10,025 --> 00:52:11,890
of a needy parishioner!
951
00:52:11,961 --> 00:52:13,394
- No, l'm a fraud!
952
00:52:13,462 --> 00:52:16,192
l was never a priest!
- You're not a fraud! All right?
953
00:52:16,265 --> 00:52:18,995
You are a fine priest.
Just don't have a spiritual crisis
954
00:52:19,068 --> 00:52:22,299
because of something that's my fault.
- Vanessa! l'm trying to tell you,
955
00:52:22,371 --> 00:52:25,101
l'm in love with you!
- Taxi!
956
00:52:29,912 --> 00:52:32,574
l am going to marry Andre. l am.
957
00:52:32,648 --> 00:52:34,980
And you, go back to being holy.
958
00:52:35,050 --> 00:52:37,712
And we'll never
see each other again.
959
00:52:38,754 --> 00:52:39,914
- Vanessa.
960
00:52:39,989 --> 00:52:42,048
Vanessa! Hey, hey, hey!
961
00:52:51,100 --> 00:52:52,590
- Didn't go so well, then?
962
00:52:53,769 --> 00:52:56,670
- Please, just tell me Andre
fell in love with you last night.
963
00:52:56,739 --> 00:52:58,604
- No.
964
00:52:58,674 --> 00:53:00,972
Sorry, Nick. Did my best.
965
00:53:10,219 --> 00:53:12,483
- l have to get to her
before she marries Andre!
966
00:53:12,555 --> 00:53:13,886
- Andre's not a fool.
967
00:53:13,956 --> 00:53:16,151
lf you come running in
an hour before the wedding,
968
00:53:16,225 --> 00:53:17,487
desperate to see Vanessa,
969
00:53:17,560 --> 00:53:19,790
don't you think
he might get a bit suspicious?
970
00:53:19,862 --> 00:53:22,160
- You're forgetting, l'm a priest.
- lt's easy to forget.
971
00:53:22,231 --> 00:53:24,199
lt's not like you were a priest
last week.
972
00:53:26,468 --> 00:53:28,766
Good luck!
- Oh, no, you have to come too!
973
00:53:28,837 --> 00:53:30,395
- Why?
- You have to distract Andre
974
00:53:30,472 --> 00:53:32,167
so l can be alone with Vanessa.
975
00:53:32,241 --> 00:53:34,232
- Oh, the pizza-delivery girl
crashes the wedding.
976
00:53:34,310 --> 00:53:36,835
- Just say you're my date.
977
00:53:36,912 --> 00:53:38,539
- You're a priest!
978
00:53:38,614 --> 00:53:41,549
- Right. l forgot.
979
00:53:41,617 --> 00:53:43,244
- l told you it was easy to forget.
980
00:53:43,319 --> 00:53:46,254
- We'll think of something on the way.
But take your own bike -
981
00:53:46,322 --> 00:53:49,587
l've got to pick up Vanessa's dad!
- Oh, so you're a priest
982
00:53:49,658 --> 00:53:51,182
and a taxi service?
- Come on!!!
983
00:53:51,260 --> 00:53:54,252
- Argh, God!
He might not even remember me!
984
00:53:58,601 --> 00:54:00,831
- l didn't realize
your brother was a priest.
985
00:54:00,903 --> 00:54:03,895
- Yeah, we're all very proud of him.
986
00:54:06,075 --> 00:54:07,542
- l need to speak to Vanessa!
987
00:54:09,578 --> 00:54:11,011
Oh, SHlT!
988
00:54:12,548 --> 00:54:13,674
- Oof!
989
00:54:14,216 --> 00:54:17,049
- lt's a very progressive wing
of the Church.
990
00:54:32,801 --> 00:54:34,826
- Hi. St. Andrew's Cathedral?
991
00:54:34,903 --> 00:54:36,336
Hi, hello.
992
00:54:36,405 --> 00:54:39,670
l'm calling on behalf
of Father Edward from St. Matthews.
993
00:54:39,742 --> 00:54:43,178
Um, we're trying to find a priest
whose name is Father Nick?
994
00:54:43,245 --> 00:54:44,837
- Excuse me.
- Would you-- Oh!
995
00:54:44,913 --> 00:54:46,346
Ah, he's here.
996
00:54:46,415 --> 00:54:47,404
Yeah. Thanks anyway.
997
00:54:47,483 --> 00:54:49,576
What? Who am l talking about?
998
00:54:49,652 --> 00:54:51,847
- Hello, hello?
Yes. Yes, this is Father Nick.
999
00:54:51,920 --> 00:54:54,684
The service next Sunday, 9:00?
l'll be there.
1000
00:54:54,757 --> 00:54:56,554
Just enjoy your golf.
Yes, bye.
1001
00:54:56,625 --> 00:55:00,026
- Oh, Father... Father Nick,
we're so glad you're here.
1002
00:55:00,095 --> 00:55:02,222
l've been looking everywhere for you.
1003
00:55:02,298 --> 00:55:03,822
l wonder if you could...
1004
00:55:04,967 --> 00:55:06,434
- l have to go and find Vanessa,
1005
00:55:06,502 --> 00:55:08,436
wish her the best of luck
before the ceremony.
1006
00:55:08,504 --> 00:55:10,563
- Oh, but, Father Nick,
we're just-- Oh!
1007
00:55:13,375 --> 00:55:14,774
(shouting a warning)
- Whoa, whoa!
1008
00:55:14,843 --> 00:55:16,470
- Ahhh!
1009
00:55:16,545 --> 00:55:18,604
- How could you bring that man here?!
1010
00:55:20,883 --> 00:55:22,942
Do you know
what that man did to me?
1011
00:55:23,018 --> 00:55:25,145
- l think there's some confusion
on the subject.
1012
00:55:25,220 --> 00:55:29,316
- Oh, you mean he denied cheating on me
and you believed him!
1013
00:55:29,391 --> 00:55:31,723
Do you men
always stick together?!
1014
00:55:31,794 --> 00:55:35,355
lf there's one thing
l taught my daughter,
1015
00:55:35,431 --> 00:55:37,331
it is never trust a man who lies.
Never!
1016
00:55:37,399 --> 00:55:39,560
- Mm, yeah, l suppose lying
is quite hard to forgive.
1017
00:55:39,635 --> 00:55:42,502
- Oh, you bet it is.
lf a man lies once,
1018
00:55:42,571 --> 00:55:44,596
how can you ever
believe him again?
1019
00:55:44,673 --> 00:55:47,471
- But you know, there must be lies,
and then there are lies.
1020
00:55:47,543 --> 00:55:49,943
There's ''l slept with somebody else,
so l lied'' lies,
1021
00:55:50,012 --> 00:55:52,810
and then there's ''l want to sleep
with you, so l lied'' lies.
1022
00:55:52,881 --> 00:55:54,781
- Lying is lying.
1023
00:55:54,850 --> 00:55:57,148
- l-l don't know much
about the Bible -
1024
00:55:57,219 --> 00:55:59,483
of course, l know about the Bible.
The point is,
1025
00:55:59,555 --> 00:56:02,353
it has a word or two
about forgiveness.
1026
00:56:02,424 --> 00:56:03,823
Tom made one mistake.
1027
00:56:03,892 --> 00:56:05,621
- One?!
1028
00:56:05,694 --> 00:56:06,956
Ah!
1029
00:56:07,029 --> 00:56:09,725
lt was probably going on for years!
1030
00:56:09,798 --> 00:56:12,164
- No, he's got no reason
to lie to me.
1031
00:56:15,871 --> 00:56:17,998
- Well, maybe he lied to you
1032
00:56:18,073 --> 00:56:20,564
so that you would lie to me.
1033
00:56:20,642 --> 00:56:22,633
That's the way liars think, isn't it?
1034
00:56:22,711 --> 00:56:24,804
You wouldn't know,
you're a priest!
1035
00:56:26,548 --> 00:56:29,642
- No, l... No, l do, l do. l...
1036
00:56:29,718 --> 00:56:31,117
l do. l understand.
You know,
1037
00:56:31,186 --> 00:56:33,552
l can see where you're coming from.
l do.
1038
00:56:37,559 --> 00:56:39,083
- You know the hardest part?
1039
00:56:41,397 --> 00:56:42,864
When it happened...
1040
00:56:44,233 --> 00:56:46,531
... l was still
dizzy in love with him.
1041
00:56:48,070 --> 00:56:50,664
And l was...
1042
00:56:50,739 --> 00:56:54,869
stupid enough to think
he still felt the same way about me.
1043
00:56:56,412 --> 00:56:59,210
- Look... let me go
and find Tom.
1044
00:57:00,582 --> 00:57:02,311
He'll explain everything.
1045
00:57:03,185 --> 00:57:04,652
Explain the truth.
1046
00:57:14,129 --> 00:57:15,323
Tom!
1047
00:57:29,211 --> 00:57:32,669
- l can't believe you missed
your hairdresser's appointment
1048
00:57:32,748 --> 00:57:34,807
this morning.
What were you doing?
1049
00:57:34,883 --> 00:57:37,681
- l just forgot, OKAY?
- Okay. Okay, just relax.
1050
00:57:38,554 --> 00:57:40,886
Now how... how's that?
1051
00:57:45,060 --> 00:57:47,790
Okay, well, l know
l'm not a professional hairdresser,
1052
00:57:47,863 --> 00:57:50,627
but it's not that bad.
- Get out of here!
1053
00:57:50,699 --> 00:57:52,291
- You can't just run away from me!
1054
00:57:52,367 --> 00:57:54,335
- Father Nick?
- You didn't tell Andre, did you?
1055
00:57:54,403 --> 00:57:56,701
- Tell Andre what?
- Of course l didn't tell Andre!
1056
00:57:56,772 --> 00:57:58,831
- lf he sees you here,
he'll get suspicious.
1057
00:57:58,907 --> 00:58:00,636
- Suspicious of what?
1058
00:58:00,709 --> 00:58:03,303
- Look, l just want to talk.
- Talk about what?
1059
00:58:03,378 --> 00:58:05,312
- l will never talk to you!
1060
00:58:05,380 --> 00:58:07,177
- l can explain.
- Go away! Now!
1061
00:58:07,249 --> 00:58:08,409
- Please!
1062
00:58:08,484 --> 00:58:11,419
- Okay, now l am dying to hear
what he has to say.
1063
00:58:12,688 --> 00:58:14,349
- l love you.
1064
00:58:17,159 --> 00:58:18,649
- Don't say that to me!
1065
00:58:18,727 --> 00:58:20,524
- Well, last night
wasn't just about--
1066
00:58:20,596 --> 00:58:22,427
- l don't remember last night!
So there!
1067
00:58:22,498 --> 00:58:24,432
- Of course you remember last night!
1068
00:58:24,500 --> 00:58:27,333
You can't forget last night!
1069
00:58:27,402 --> 00:58:30,030
- This is the best wedding
l've ever been to,
1070
00:58:30,105 --> 00:58:32,335
and it hasn't even started yet.
1071
00:58:36,211 --> 00:58:39,180
- l am not speaking to you again
until l am safely married!
1072
00:58:42,017 --> 00:58:43,780
- You have to take over
the service.
1073
00:58:45,587 --> 00:58:47,487
Father Nick,
l keep sneezing and coughing!
1074
00:58:47,556 --> 00:58:51,151
- Your cold's not that bad!
- l'm going to ruin the ceremony!
1075
00:58:51,226 --> 00:58:54,161
- Wh-wh-what's--
- He's refusing to do it!
1076
00:58:54,229 --> 00:58:57,756
- Father, surely if you can substitute
for somebody who's playing golf--
1077
00:58:57,833 --> 00:58:59,858
- Andre, have you met my sister?
Sandy!!
1078
00:58:59,935 --> 00:59:02,870
Oh, she's wonderful,
she's very funny, calm, quiet,
1079
00:59:02,938 --> 00:59:04,371
- Have we met somewhere before?
1080
00:59:04,439 --> 00:59:06,771
- She does have other clothes.
Really, she does.
1081
00:59:06,842 --> 00:59:09,777
Have l mentioned she's in the church choir?
- Really?
1082
00:59:09,845 --> 00:59:11,437
- Actually, um, no.
1083
00:59:11,513 --> 00:59:13,777
l'm in a band;
we're called, uh...
1084
00:59:13,849 --> 00:59:15,942
She-Devils ln Heat.
1085
00:59:18,854 --> 00:59:21,448
- She's such a kidder.
Have l mentioned her sense of humour?
1086
00:59:21,523 --> 00:59:23,582
- Father Nick, please,
l have a temperature of 103.
1087
00:59:23,659 --> 00:59:27,151
- Listen, why don't you two kids
go off and get to know each other?!
1088
00:59:27,229 --> 00:59:29,060
That's great - before the wedding!
Thank you!
1089
00:59:29,131 --> 00:59:30,496
- l beseech you, Father Nick.
l...
1090
00:59:30,566 --> 00:59:32,625
- Listen you know,
l have a very good reason
1091
00:59:32,701 --> 00:59:34,760
for refusing
what you're asking me to do.
1092
00:59:34,836 --> 00:59:36,770
l mean, really l do.
lt's very...
1093
00:59:42,377 --> 00:59:43,674
l'll do it.
1094
00:59:46,882 --> 00:59:48,076
- Father Edward.
1095
00:59:48,150 --> 00:59:50,880
l think we're ready to begin.
1096
00:59:52,421 --> 00:59:53,888
Are you okay?
1097
00:59:54,890 --> 00:59:58,621
- Father Nick
will be doing the ceremony,
1098
00:59:58,694 --> 01:00:00,821
because l...
Come on.
1099
01:00:00,896 --> 01:00:02,261
You're so kind..
1100
01:00:03,732 --> 01:00:05,165
- Oh, l love this.
1101
01:00:05,233 --> 01:00:07,633
Wait a second.
Who's going to give you away?
1102
01:00:09,071 --> 01:00:10,402
l've got it.
1103
01:00:10,472 --> 01:00:12,099
Toro.
- Stop it.
1104
01:00:12,174 --> 01:00:13,835
- lt's okay.
1105
01:00:13,909 --> 01:00:15,809
Your dad'll give you away.
1106
01:00:53,215 --> 01:00:55,012
- l-l'm a little nervous.
1107
01:00:55,083 --> 01:00:57,210
This is... this is my first wedding.
1108
01:00:57,285 --> 01:00:59,048
Just like it's Vanessa's first wedding.
1109
01:00:59,121 --> 01:01:01,817
But hopefully
it won't be the last for either of us.
1110
01:01:04,226 --> 01:01:05,488
Okay.
1111
01:01:05,560 --> 01:01:08,996
We are gathered here today,
under the eyes of the big fellow,
1112
01:01:09,064 --> 01:01:11,430
to witness the union
1113
01:01:11,500 --> 01:01:13,024
of Andre and Vanessa.
And...
1114
01:01:13,568 --> 01:01:18,403
ln lo of the last few days,
l have cometh to know this fine couple.
1115
01:01:18,473 --> 01:01:21,033
And l feel l know Vanessa
particularly well,
1116
01:01:21,109 --> 01:01:24,567
and therefore would like to dispense
with the traditional ceremony,
1117
01:01:24,646 --> 01:01:26,705
and, instead, begat a few words
1118
01:01:26,782 --> 01:01:28,682
from my own heart.
1119
01:01:28,750 --> 01:01:31,378
Or maybe a little lower down.
1120
01:01:31,453 --> 01:01:33,819
'Cause l feel that a topic
that abides
1121
01:01:33,889 --> 01:01:36,221
in all of our minds
at a time like this...
1122
01:01:36,291 --> 01:01:38,851
is lust. And verily,
let us say unto one another,
1123
01:01:38,927 --> 01:01:41,691
what is Lust?
Why was it begat?
1124
01:01:41,763 --> 01:01:43,025
For lo,
1125
01:01:43,098 --> 01:01:47,694
lust is a curse
that women suffer too, hmm?
1126
01:01:47,769 --> 01:01:50,033
Despite what my mother told me.
1127
01:01:50,105 --> 01:01:53,165
Although ''suffer''
may be too harsh a word.
1128
01:01:53,241 --> 01:01:56,506
ls it possible
that lust has had a bad rap?
1129
01:01:56,578 --> 01:02:00,514
Because verily, l say unto you
there are two kinds of lust.
1130
01:02:00,582 --> 01:02:02,777
There's that ''flash in the pants'' lust;
1131
01:02:02,851 --> 01:02:04,819
you know,
''sleep with the secretary'' lust,
1132
01:02:04,886 --> 01:02:07,047
Toro lust.
And that's wrong!
1133
01:02:07,122 --> 01:02:09,784
But human. l mean,
if we weren't supposed to feel it,
1134
01:02:09,858 --> 01:02:11,849
why did the big fellow
give us hormones! Right?
1135
01:02:11,927 --> 01:02:13,918
Yes, l see a few nods
in the back there.
1136
01:02:13,995 --> 01:02:16,395
Show of hands!
Who's sorry they slept with a tramp?
1137
01:02:16,465 --> 01:02:20,128
Come on, show your hand!
Don't be afraid!
1138
01:02:20,202 --> 01:02:21,396
Okay. Oh, fine,
1139
01:02:21,470 --> 01:02:23,233
play it coy.
Play it coy.
1140
01:02:23,305 --> 01:02:27,708
But l can tell you knoweth
what l'm talking about.
1141
01:02:27,776 --> 01:02:30,677
But, no, today l want to talk
about the other kind of lust.
1142
01:02:30,746 --> 01:02:32,373
The Old Testament lust!
1143
01:02:32,447 --> 01:02:35,382
Because verily, l say unto you,
have we really felt
1144
01:02:35,450 --> 01:02:38,112
the full power and glory of lust?!
Yes!
1145
01:02:38,186 --> 01:02:40,711
Yes!! l believe
l'm having a revelation!
1146
01:02:40,789 --> 01:02:42,347
Perhaps it comes to pass
1147
01:02:42,424 --> 01:02:44,619
that lust is a way
of telling ourselves
1148
01:02:44,693 --> 01:02:47,389
of a... of an everlasting truth.
1149
01:02:47,462 --> 01:02:50,192
Because what if...
we feel an almighty lust
1150
01:02:50,265 --> 01:02:53,029
for someone we think
we doth not love?
1151
01:02:53,101 --> 01:02:55,968
Not Toro lust,
1152
01:02:56,037 --> 01:02:59,370
but the kind of lust
you're still going to feel
1153
01:02:59,441 --> 01:03:00,965
after 30 years of marriage.
1154
01:03:01,042 --> 01:03:03,840
Maybe your body
is telling your mind
1155
01:03:03,912 --> 01:03:06,745
something it does not want to hear.
1156
01:03:06,815 --> 01:03:08,874
And if we refuse to listen...
1157
01:03:10,552 --> 01:03:15,546
lf we refuse to open our hearts
and minds to this eternal truth,
1158
01:03:15,624 --> 01:03:18,320
we could find ourselves damned,
1159
01:03:18,393 --> 01:03:20,156
forevermore,
1160
01:03:20,228 --> 01:03:22,492
to that everlasting hell...
1161
01:03:22,564 --> 01:03:24,122
of being lonely.
1162
01:03:27,636 --> 01:03:30,230
l think l've made my point.
1163
01:03:30,305 --> 01:03:32,466
- Marry us!!
1164
01:03:33,575 --> 01:03:35,338
- What? You sure?
1165
01:03:35,410 --> 01:03:36,775
- Yes.
1166
01:03:38,914 --> 01:03:42,179
- Andre Reid, do you take this woman
to be your lawful wedded wife
1167
01:03:42,250 --> 01:03:44,013
and whatever, etcetera, amen?
1168
01:03:45,754 --> 01:03:46,948
- l-l-l do--
1169
01:03:47,022 --> 01:03:49,013
- And, Vanessa Sinclair,
do you take this man
1170
01:03:49,090 --> 01:03:52,116
to be your lawfully wedded husband
in sickness and health, etcetera, amen?!
1171
01:03:52,194 --> 01:03:53,718
- l do.
1172
01:03:56,698 --> 01:03:59,565
- Well, l now pronounce you
husband and wife.
1173
01:04:06,708 --> 01:04:07,970
- The rings.
1174
01:04:08,043 --> 01:04:09,271
- The ring! The ring.
1175
01:04:09,344 --> 01:04:11,835
The ring, the rings!
Do the ring thing.
1176
01:04:11,913 --> 01:04:13,778
Come on, Andre, the ring thing.
1177
01:04:13,849 --> 01:04:15,476
Yes, well,
1178
01:04:15,550 --> 01:04:18,018
l now pronounce you
husband and wife - again!
1179
01:05:00,262 --> 01:05:01,957
- Where are you going?
1180
01:05:02,030 --> 01:05:04,624
- l tried my best. lt's over.
She's married now.
1181
01:05:04,699 --> 01:05:06,291
- No, she's not!
1182
01:05:06,368 --> 01:05:07,960
You're not a real priest.
1183
01:05:08,036 --> 01:05:09,833
- Oh, l forgot about that!
1184
01:05:11,339 --> 01:05:12,829
Come on!!
1185
01:05:18,713 --> 01:05:21,807
Okay, you distract Andre,
l'm gonna go get Vanessa.
1186
01:05:21,883 --> 01:05:22,941
- Thanks.
1187
01:05:23,018 --> 01:05:24,815
- Andre, congratulations.
- Oh.
1188
01:05:24,886 --> 01:05:26,683
Ah... Father Nick!
1189
01:05:26,755 --> 01:05:28,780
- Sandy. Nick's sister.
1190
01:05:28,857 --> 01:05:30,518
- Vanessa. Nice to meet you.
1191
01:05:31,226 --> 01:05:34,252
- Well, l-l-l can't say l agree
with everything in your sermon.
1192
01:05:36,164 --> 01:05:39,133
B-but l appreciate you filling in
at the last moment.
1193
01:05:39,200 --> 01:05:41,293
- My pleasure.
lt's always a pleasure, never a chore.
1194
01:05:41,369 --> 01:05:44,338
l know you haven't got much time
and we have to leave soon,
1195
01:05:44,406 --> 01:05:46,499
so, well, Sandy here,
she's got a few questions...
1196
01:05:46,574 --> 01:05:49,134
Well, l'll let her explain.
Vanessa, can we have a word?
1197
01:05:49,210 --> 01:05:52,702
- Yes. l would like
to speak to you, uh, alone.
1198
01:05:54,249 --> 01:05:55,773
Pardon me.
- Mm, love you.
1199
01:06:01,356 --> 01:06:03,449
S-so, uh, what was it
you wanted to say?
1200
01:06:03,525 --> 01:06:04,651
- Yeah, uh...
1201
01:06:04,726 --> 01:06:07,160
do you wanna come
and see my band?
1202
01:06:13,535 --> 01:06:16,936
- So, listen, the good news is,
the annulment will be much easier
1203
01:06:17,005 --> 01:06:18,973
than you think.
- That collar or not,
1204
01:06:19,040 --> 01:06:22,476
you are still the most despicable
human being l have ever met!
1205
01:06:22,544 --> 01:06:25,069
What happened to the sanctity
of the confessional?! Mm?
1206
01:06:25,146 --> 01:06:27,114
You practically announced
to everyone out there
1207
01:06:27,182 --> 01:06:29,480
that l've been lusting
after another man!
1208
01:06:29,551 --> 01:06:33,681
- l-l think most people appreciated
the universal nature of my sermon.
1209
01:06:33,755 --> 01:06:36,155
- You could've ruined my life!
- Saved!
1210
01:06:36,224 --> 01:06:37,657
Listen to me--
- l'm not listening
1211
01:06:37,726 --> 01:06:39,557
to another word you say!
- Come on, you promised
1212
01:06:39,627 --> 01:06:41,492
you would talk to me
after you got married.
1213
01:06:41,563 --> 01:06:42,996
- l changed my mind!
1214
01:06:43,064 --> 01:06:46,033
Now if you'll excuse me,
l am going on my honeymoon!
1215
01:06:54,242 --> 01:06:55,937
l hate you!
- Vanessa--
1216
01:07:20,035 --> 01:07:21,468
- Ooh, Father Nick.
1217
01:07:21,536 --> 01:07:23,128
- Andre.
1218
01:07:23,204 --> 01:07:26,401
l-l-l was just looking
for some tablets.
1219
01:07:26,474 --> 01:07:28,635
l have an absolutely awful headache.
1220
01:07:29,544 --> 01:07:30,977
- ln the bathroom.
1221
01:07:31,046 --> 01:07:32,138
- Would you mind?
1222
01:07:32,213 --> 01:07:34,477
l feel a little bit dizzy.
1223
01:07:42,891 --> 01:07:45,257
- There you go.
- Oh, thank you.
1224
01:07:46,394 --> 01:07:47,986
Could l have a glass of water?
1225
01:07:48,063 --> 01:07:49,690
- Of course.
1226
01:07:51,900 --> 01:07:53,595
l know your views
are a little different
1227
01:07:53,668 --> 01:07:56,398
from the mainstream Church,
but l'm sure you can understand
1228
01:07:56,471 --> 01:07:58,735
how glad Vanessa and l are
that we decided to wait
1229
01:07:58,807 --> 01:08:00,707
until our wedding night.
1230
01:08:03,678 --> 01:08:05,236
l-l've taken a lot of ribbing
1231
01:08:05,313 --> 01:08:06,837
from my buddies.
But...
1232
01:08:06,915 --> 01:08:08,576
l used to be pretty wild.
1233
01:08:08,650 --> 01:08:10,914
And l think it got kind of...
cheapened.
1234
01:08:10,985 --> 01:08:13,579
You know what l mean?
l said to myself, the next time,
1235
01:08:13,655 --> 01:08:15,782
l wanted to be sure
it was forever.
1236
01:08:15,857 --> 01:08:18,883
l am going to have
one hell of a honeymoon.
1237
01:08:18,960 --> 01:08:20,359
Thank you.
1238
01:08:28,703 --> 01:08:30,967
Been a long day.
l hope you're not too tired.
1239
01:08:31,039 --> 01:08:32,631
- No, no, l'm not tired at all.
1240
01:08:32,707 --> 01:08:34,971
- Andre! Vanessa?
1241
01:08:35,043 --> 01:08:37,944
This is where you're having
your honeymoon?!
1242
01:08:38,012 --> 01:08:39,104
What a coincidence!
1243
01:08:39,180 --> 01:08:43,378
l-l-l booked a room here
about a month ago.
1244
01:08:43,451 --> 01:08:45,316
You know, a little sabbatical -
1245
01:08:45,386 --> 01:08:46,876
meditation, yoga, water-skiing--
1246
01:08:46,955 --> 01:08:48,183
- Father, if you don't mind,
1247
01:08:48,256 --> 01:08:50,383
we'd just like
to check into our room now.
1248
01:09:08,176 --> 01:09:10,974
- Oh, there you go.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
1249
01:09:12,514 --> 01:09:14,448
Oh... this is nice,
1250
01:09:14,516 --> 01:09:16,108
isn't it?
1251
01:09:16,184 --> 01:09:19,176
l'm so glad l decided
to keep you company.
1252
01:09:19,254 --> 01:09:22,314
l think l'm gonna stay here
all night long.
1253
01:09:22,390 --> 01:09:25,188
- Ahem. Uh... F-Father Nick,
1254
01:09:25,260 --> 01:09:28,696
we're getting a little... tired.
1255
01:09:28,763 --> 01:09:31,288
- Oh, of course you are.
What a day.
1256
01:09:31,366 --> 01:09:34,233
Your wedding, then the reception,
then the drive here.
1257
01:09:34,302 --> 01:09:35,860
l bet both of you
1258
01:09:35,937 --> 01:09:37,302
didn't sleep much last night.
1259
01:09:37,372 --> 01:09:39,704
Vanessa, l'm sure you tossed
and turned for hours.
1260
01:09:39,774 --> 01:09:42,868
- Andre's trying to tell you
that we'd like to be alone.
1261
01:09:42,944 --> 01:09:45,139
- Alone! Oh, me too!
1262
01:09:45,213 --> 01:09:47,306
That's why l came up here.
1263
01:09:47,382 --> 01:09:49,543
To spend some nice,
quiet time alone.
1264
01:09:49,617 --> 01:09:51,346
- We'd like to be alone now.
1265
01:09:51,419 --> 01:09:53,319
- Vanessa,
we don't want to be rude.
1266
01:09:53,388 --> 01:09:54,548
- Go away!
1267
01:09:54,622 --> 01:09:56,146
- You mean you want
to be alone together?
1268
01:09:56,224 --> 01:09:57,521
- Yes!
- Of course you do!
1269
01:09:57,592 --> 01:10:00,493
lt's your wedding night!
But you know, as a priest,
1270
01:10:00,562 --> 01:10:02,689
l would like
to give you some advice.
1271
01:10:02,764 --> 01:10:06,325
l find that couples who postpone
the consummation of their marriage
1272
01:10:06,401 --> 01:10:08,369
have a much better track record.
1273
01:10:08,436 --> 01:10:11,667
That first night,
a little bit tired and irritable,
1274
01:10:11,739 --> 01:10:14,606
well, things never really
live up to expectations.
1275
01:10:14,676 --> 01:10:16,871
But if you wait a day,
1276
01:10:16,945 --> 01:10:19,209
a week, a month, a year,
1277
01:10:19,280 --> 01:10:20,338
poof, fireworks!
1278
01:10:20,415 --> 01:10:23,816
How about a game of Parcheesi?!
- No!
1279
01:10:23,885 --> 01:10:25,352
- How about chess?
1280
01:10:25,420 --> 01:10:26,682
Blackjack? Crazy Eights?!
1281
01:10:43,605 --> 01:10:45,368
Spiritual crisis.
1282
01:11:12,900 --> 01:11:14,492
Hi. Hi, hi, hi.
1283
01:11:14,569 --> 01:11:16,400
Father Nick, hotel priest.
1284
01:11:16,471 --> 01:11:19,998
Just checking for evil spirits.
Everything seems to be fine.
1285
01:11:20,074 --> 01:11:21,871
So sleep well.
1286
01:11:54,442 --> 01:11:56,103
- At last.
1287
01:12:01,115 --> 01:12:02,605
Aren't you getting into bed?
1288
01:12:04,719 --> 01:12:06,983
- There's something
l should tell you first.
1289
01:12:07,055 --> 01:12:08,488
- Vanessa...
1290
01:12:08,556 --> 01:12:10,751
if it's about your past,
l don't care.
1291
01:12:10,825 --> 01:12:13,020
Whatever either of us did
before this night is irrelevant.
1292
01:12:13,094 --> 01:12:14,823
- But l really think
that l should tell--
1293
01:12:14,896 --> 01:12:17,421
- There's nothing that would make
me change my mind.
1294
01:12:17,498 --> 01:12:19,693
- But there's one particular--
- No.
1295
01:12:22,236 --> 01:12:24,966
All l want is to finally make love
to my wife.
1296
01:12:35,416 --> 01:12:38,613
Father, this isn't a good time.
How'd you get in here?
1297
01:12:38,686 --> 01:12:41,553
- l'm possessed by the devil.
That's why l wouldn't leave earlier!
1298
01:12:41,622 --> 01:12:43,522
l'm terrified of being alone.
1299
01:12:43,591 --> 01:12:44,615
Vanessa,
1300
01:12:44,692 --> 01:12:47,058
you look great.
- Andre, please come back to bed!
1301
01:12:49,597 --> 01:12:52,430
- Please, Andre, you don't know
what kind of nightmare this is.
1302
01:12:52,500 --> 01:12:55,128
- Father, l don't think
you're possessed by the devil.
1303
01:12:55,203 --> 01:12:57,967
- Then why did l give that sermon
at your wedding? ln defence of lust!
1304
01:12:58,039 --> 01:13:00,098
What priest in his right mind
would do that?!
1305
01:13:00,174 --> 01:13:01,573
- Well, you're a little eccentric.
1306
01:13:01,642 --> 01:13:05,305
- Look - this is what l did to myself
yesterday!
1307
01:13:06,547 --> 01:13:09,516
- Well, maybe you're going through
a time of doubt, but the Devil?
1308
01:13:12,053 --> 01:13:13,486
What did l just say?!
1309
01:13:13,554 --> 01:13:15,647
- l-l-l don't speak Spanish.
1310
01:13:15,723 --> 01:13:17,247
- lt was Devil talk,
1311
01:13:17,325 --> 01:13:19,316
for you are my slave!
1312
01:13:20,762 --> 01:13:24,323
Please help me fight this monster!
1313
01:13:39,280 --> 01:13:41,339
- Hello, can l help you?
1314
01:13:41,416 --> 01:13:43,043
Sure, one second.
1315
01:13:47,121 --> 01:13:49,021
- lt's kind of fun, isn't it?
1316
01:13:49,090 --> 01:13:51,524
- You seem to be doing all right,
Father.
1317
01:13:52,760 --> 01:13:54,887
- They all speak Japanese?
1318
01:13:55,930 --> 01:13:57,522
Uh...
1319
01:13:57,598 --> 01:13:59,031
Yeah, hi.
1320
01:13:59,100 --> 01:14:01,933
Uh, l speak a little bit Japanese.
1321
01:14:02,003 --> 01:14:04,062
- l th... l think
l'll get back to Vanessa.
1322
01:14:04,138 --> 01:14:05,537
- But what if Satan returns?
1323
01:14:07,208 --> 01:14:10,143
- Well, maybe it wasn't the Devil,
maybe it was just...
1324
01:14:10,211 --> 01:14:11,769
the shrimp in your salad.
1325
01:14:13,347 --> 01:14:15,406
- l am the evil one,
1326
01:14:15,483 --> 01:14:17,974
Lucifer! Satan!
1327
01:14:18,052 --> 01:14:21,453
Destroyer of souls!
1328
01:14:21,522 --> 01:14:23,649
Prince of Darkness!
1329
01:14:23,724 --> 01:14:25,715
Bbbbeelzebub!
1330
01:14:25,793 --> 01:14:27,818
Belllllzebub!
1331
01:14:27,895 --> 01:14:29,988
Blllllezebbbulb!
1332
01:14:30,064 --> 01:14:31,929
- Mr. Beelzebub?
1333
01:14:41,909 --> 01:14:43,308
- What just happened?
1334
01:14:44,745 --> 01:14:47,475
- Maybe it's, uh,
a little more than indigestion.
1335
01:14:50,918 --> 01:14:52,476
l-l'll stay a little longer.
1336
01:14:57,091 --> 01:14:58,490
- You're a nice man.
1337
01:14:58,559 --> 01:15:00,993
- Not really.
1338
01:15:01,062 --> 01:15:03,496
- You're giving up
your wedding night
1339
01:15:03,564 --> 01:15:05,464
to be with a complete stranger.
1340
01:15:05,533 --> 01:15:08,161
- Well, anything to ward off
the Prince of Darkness, huh?
1341
01:15:09,537 --> 01:15:11,334
- l must look like a fool sometimes.
1342
01:15:11,405 --> 01:15:14,602
- l think
that's a pretty normal occurrence
1343
01:15:14,675 --> 01:15:16,666
in cases of demonic possession.
1344
01:15:19,547 --> 01:15:21,208
- Have you ever really been in love?
1345
01:15:21,282 --> 01:15:23,978
So in love you would do anything?
1346
01:15:24,051 --> 01:15:25,985
You find yourself doing things
1347
01:15:26,053 --> 01:15:29,454
you can't believe,
but if it gives you a chance,
1348
01:15:29,524 --> 01:15:31,992
the tiniest chance,
then it's worth it,
1349
01:15:32,059 --> 01:15:35,495
even if the whole world
thinks you're a complete fool.
1350
01:15:40,067 --> 01:15:41,864
- lt's your move.
1351
01:15:58,252 --> 01:16:01,016
l spent so long
thinking about my honeymoon.
1352
01:16:01,088 --> 01:16:03,056
Never thought l'd be spending it
1353
01:16:03,124 --> 01:16:05,149
with a priest
possessed by the Devil.
1354
01:16:11,365 --> 01:16:13,595
You know, Vanessa
must be wondering where l am.
1355
01:16:13,668 --> 01:16:16,694
This might be a good time
for me to check on her.
1356
01:16:16,771 --> 01:16:18,432
- Get out of me!
1357
01:16:18,506 --> 01:16:20,633
Ah! Get out of me!
1358
01:16:23,210 --> 01:16:25,405
l will never leave you!
1359
01:16:27,281 --> 01:16:29,681
- You need some help there?
1360
01:16:32,954 --> 01:16:34,444
- l'll kill you!
1361
01:17:16,364 --> 01:17:19,424
- Would you like to see a menu?
- No, it's fine. l'm...
1362
01:17:19,500 --> 01:17:22,162
just... just looking for someone.
1363
01:17:47,561 --> 01:17:48,960
Why are you doing this?
1364
01:17:49,030 --> 01:17:50,224
- Because l love you.
1365
01:17:50,297 --> 01:17:52,458
- l don't care.
- Yes, you do.
1366
01:17:52,533 --> 01:17:54,763
You love me, too.
- Oh, yeah.
1367
01:17:54,835 --> 01:17:57,998
l always told my girlfriends,
one day l'll meet the perfect guy.
1368
01:17:58,072 --> 01:17:59,505
One who wants to be Pope.
1369
01:17:59,573 --> 01:18:01,370
Listen to me!
1370
01:18:01,442 --> 01:18:02,932
l am married to Andre!
1371
01:18:03,010 --> 01:18:05,843
- You said he doesn't light your fire.
- l never said that!
1372
01:18:05,913 --> 01:18:08,006
- Yes, you did.
The night before last when--
1373
01:18:08,082 --> 01:18:10,676
- Don't talk about that!
- lt was the best night of my life.
1374
01:18:10,751 --> 01:18:12,343
- l don't even remember it.
1375
01:18:12,420 --> 01:18:15,116
- Yes, you do.
You remember every second of it.
1376
01:18:15,189 --> 01:18:16,679
And you always will.
1377
01:18:18,359 --> 01:18:21,021
- l don't remember anything
that happened after the stripper
1378
01:18:21,095 --> 01:18:22,687
shoved his underwear
down my dress!
1379
01:18:24,031 --> 01:18:25,498
l'm gonna go find my husband.
1380
01:18:25,566 --> 01:18:29,627
- Look, Andre's a great guy,
but you don't love him.
1381
01:18:29,704 --> 01:18:31,968
You love me.
1382
01:18:32,039 --> 01:18:33,563
- l'll be back later.
1383
01:18:35,943 --> 01:18:38,844
- No, l will come back later!
1384
01:18:38,913 --> 01:18:40,574
With my lawfully wedded husband!
1385
01:18:40,648 --> 01:18:44,084
- Actually, there's something
l should tell you about that.
1386
01:18:47,888 --> 01:18:50,550
- Oh, Vanessa, l'm so sorry.
- Father, Father, excuse me!
1387
01:18:50,624 --> 01:18:52,421
l wonder
if you could do us a favour.
1388
01:18:52,493 --> 01:18:54,893
This couple want to get married
right away.
1389
01:18:54,962 --> 01:18:58,261
They have the license,
the bans have been read,
1390
01:18:58,332 --> 01:19:01,563
But they had a fight, she came here
to be alone. He followed her,
1391
01:19:01,635 --> 01:19:02,829
they've sorted out
the misunderstanding,
1392
01:19:02,903 --> 01:19:05,371
now they just want to get married
and go on their honeymoon.
1393
01:19:05,439 --> 01:19:06,736
- Sorry, no, l can't.
1394
01:19:06,807 --> 01:19:08,707
- No, please, Father.
lt would mean so much to us.
1395
01:19:08,776 --> 01:19:10,539
- l'm sure there are other priests.
1396
01:19:10,611 --> 01:19:12,306
- Actually, no one's available
until tomorrow.
1397
01:19:12,379 --> 01:19:14,574
- We really don't want
to wait until tomorrow.
1398
01:19:14,648 --> 01:19:16,741
- lt would be a mistake
for me to marry you.
1399
01:19:16,817 --> 01:19:19,911
- Our wedding would be a mistake?
Why do you say that?
1400
01:19:22,356 --> 01:19:24,551
- l just can't!
1401
01:19:24,625 --> 01:19:25,990
- What does he know, Rob?
- What?
1402
01:19:26,060 --> 01:19:28,426
- Did you cheat on me with Cynthia?
ls that it?
1403
01:19:28,496 --> 01:19:29,963
Does everyone
in the whole world know?
1404
01:19:30,030 --> 01:19:31,930
- l didn't mean--
- l never slept with Cynthia!
1405
01:19:31,999 --> 01:19:35,093
- A priest is refusing to marry us!
He must sense something is wrong!
1406
01:19:35,169 --> 01:19:38,195
And l thought we were
gonna be so happy together.
1407
01:19:38,272 --> 01:19:39,762
Goodbye, forever!
1408
01:19:39,840 --> 01:19:42,570
- Wait. l don't sense anything.
l don't even know who Cynthia is.
1409
01:19:42,643 --> 01:19:44,907
- Then why won't you marry us?
1410
01:19:44,979 --> 01:19:46,276
- Because l...
1411
01:19:49,517 --> 01:19:51,417
Because l'm not a real priest.
1412
01:19:55,689 --> 01:19:56,917
Vanessa...
1413
01:20:04,398 --> 01:20:06,491
- Let's go home, Andre.
1414
01:20:06,567 --> 01:20:09,195
Father Edward
should be feeling better by now.
1415
01:20:13,874 --> 01:20:15,967
- Yeah, so he likes
to dress like a priest.
1416
01:20:16,043 --> 01:20:17,943
Could be worse,
could be women's underwear.
1417
01:20:22,249 --> 01:20:24,183
Hey, Nick.
1418
01:20:24,251 --> 01:20:26,014
What's new?
1419
01:20:26,086 --> 01:20:27,178
- Well?
1420
01:20:27,254 --> 01:20:29,779
- Well, l went on their honeymoon,
1421
01:20:29,857 --> 01:20:31,984
got possessed by a devil,
then when l wouldn't marry
1422
01:20:32,059 --> 01:20:35,256
this other couple -
don't want to make a habit of it...
1423
01:20:35,329 --> 01:20:38,526
- Oh, no. Certainly not.
- And everybody found out the truth.
1424
01:20:38,599 --> 01:20:41,033
So Andre and Vanessa
are having another wedding.
1425
01:20:41,101 --> 01:20:42,830
- You're not being paid
by the caterers?
1426
01:20:42,903 --> 01:20:44,632
- And then they're gonna have
another honeymoon,
1427
01:20:44,705 --> 01:20:46,696
but this time without me.
1428
01:20:48,442 --> 01:20:50,535
- Nick, um...
1429
01:20:50,611 --> 01:20:53,671
Mom's been getting
kind of worried about you.
1430
01:20:55,683 --> 01:20:58,618
And, uh...
Well, actually, we all have.
1431
01:20:58,686 --> 01:21:00,449
- l just miss Vanessa, you know?
1432
01:21:00,521 --> 01:21:02,716
- l know.
- What does she have against me?
1433
01:21:02,790 --> 01:21:05,350
At first she doesn't like me
1434
01:21:05,426 --> 01:21:06,620
because l am a priest.
1435
01:21:06,694 --> 01:21:08,821
Now she doesn't like me
because l'm not one.
1436
01:21:08,896 --> 01:21:11,660
- Mm, yeah, l think there might be
just a little bit more to it.
1437
01:21:11,732 --> 01:21:13,893
- She's married,
but she's not really married.
1438
01:21:13,968 --> 01:21:15,401
lt's easy to fix things.
1439
01:21:17,404 --> 01:21:18,962
Although she probably
is married now.
1440
01:21:26,580 --> 01:21:28,138
- Take that look off your face.
1441
01:21:28,215 --> 01:21:29,910
- Where's she gonna go to,
Father Edwards?
1442
01:21:29,984 --> 01:21:32,851
l've gotta get everything ready.
Come on, we've got time!
1443
01:21:32,920 --> 01:21:35,912
Sandy, come on! Come on!
- La, la, la! No!
1444
01:21:35,990 --> 01:21:38,390
No! Oh, it's over!
1445
01:21:54,608 --> 01:21:55,734
Nick.
1446
01:21:56,443 --> 01:21:57,569
Nick!
1447
01:21:58,279 --> 01:22:00,873
This is the way that she wants it!
1448
01:22:00,948 --> 01:22:02,848
- l'll bet it's at Father Edward's.
1449
01:22:10,891 --> 01:22:13,655
Now will you please give up.
1450
01:22:13,727 --> 01:22:16,195
- l have an idea.
- l was afraid of that.
1451
01:22:27,374 --> 01:22:29,137
- Mr. Sinclair!
1452
01:22:29,209 --> 01:22:30,301
l'm not too late!
1453
01:22:30,377 --> 01:22:32,038
- Nick.
1454
01:22:32,112 --> 01:22:34,512
- Where's the wedding?
1455
01:22:34,581 --> 01:22:37,049
- l'm sorry,
they ordered me not to tell you.
1456
01:22:40,054 --> 01:22:41,715
- Please, l love her.
You, of all people,
1457
01:22:41,789 --> 01:22:44,314
must understand what it's like
to lose the woman you love.
1458
01:22:46,260 --> 01:22:48,285
- Nick, l'm sorry, l can't.
1459
01:22:58,038 --> 01:23:00,905
- St. Andrew's! They said
it's the last place you'd look!
1460
01:23:02,876 --> 01:23:04,343
- My church.
1461
01:23:17,558 --> 01:23:21,187
- He pretended to be a priest
just to trick you into bed?!
1462
01:23:22,563 --> 01:23:25,498
That's like the most disgusting thing
l've ever heard!
1463
01:23:25,566 --> 01:23:27,693
- That's not what l said.
- What a monster!
1464
01:23:28,902 --> 01:23:30,802
Just pretend you never
even met that guy, okay?
1465
01:23:30,871 --> 01:23:31,929
Put it out of mind.
1466
01:23:32,006 --> 01:23:33,803
- Yeah...
1467
01:23:33,874 --> 01:23:36,741
- l said l would like
to thank you so much
1468
01:23:36,810 --> 01:23:38,835
for the use of your lovely church.
1469
01:23:38,912 --> 01:23:40,846
Especially on such short notice.
1470
01:23:40,914 --> 01:23:42,882
- Well, it's so hard to believe
1471
01:23:42,950 --> 01:23:45,510
that Nick Francis
would pretend to be a priest.
1472
01:23:45,586 --> 01:23:49,022
- Mm. Well, l think
that's the last we'll see of him
1473
01:23:49,089 --> 01:23:50,113
until the everlasting damnation.
1474
01:23:57,598 --> 01:23:59,065
- ls anyone else coming?
1475
01:23:59,133 --> 01:24:01,397
- No.
Wh-who else would be coming?
1476
01:24:01,468 --> 01:24:03,800
Nobody else knows
where the wedding is.
1477
01:24:03,871 --> 01:24:05,839
- Well, let's make sure, huh?
1478
01:24:08,208 --> 01:24:09,675
- Look at you.
1479
01:24:47,081 --> 01:24:50,175
- Nick! Are you sure you want
to wreck two of her weddings?
1480
01:24:50,250 --> 01:24:53,185
- As many as it takes.
- Have you thought about the fact--
1481
01:24:54,588 --> 01:24:56,749
--that she obviously wants to marry
this guy, not you?!
1482
01:24:56,824 --> 01:25:00,555
- lt's not a good time to talk,Sandy!
They might be getting to the ''l-dos!''
1483
01:25:00,627 --> 01:25:03,221
- But how are you gonna stop her
from doing what she wants?!
1484
01:25:03,297 --> 01:25:06,562
- l'm not gonna burst in there
like an idiot! l've got a plan.
1485
01:25:06,633 --> 01:25:09,227
- What is it?
- l'm gonna burst in there like an idiot!
1486
01:25:09,303 --> 01:25:11,271
- l can't watch this!
lt's too humiliating!
1487
01:25:11,839 --> 01:25:13,033
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy.
1488
01:25:13,107 --> 01:25:14,005
Easy, easy. Fine.
1489
01:25:14,074 --> 01:25:16,235
Fine, l'm going. lt's over.
1490
01:25:16,310 --> 01:25:20,371
lt's not like l'm willing to die for her!
You know?
1491
01:25:25,652 --> 01:25:27,142
- ... these two together
1492
01:25:27,221 --> 01:25:29,155
and seal their commitment in--
1493
01:25:31,358 --> 01:25:32,689
... celebrate the bond...
1494
01:25:32,759 --> 01:25:35,489
which the two of you make
1495
01:25:35,562 --> 01:25:37,826
as you enter into this--
1496
01:25:40,400 --> 01:25:42,129
- l have a confession to make!
1497
01:25:54,748 --> 01:25:57,114
- l want to tell you
about my fantasy.
1498
01:25:58,252 --> 01:25:59,776
l keep imagining myself
1499
01:25:59,853 --> 01:26:02,117
with a certain woman.
1500
01:26:02,189 --> 01:26:04,453
These fantasies
are about a four-letter word
1501
01:26:04,525 --> 01:26:06,015
beginning with L.
1502
01:26:08,061 --> 01:26:10,529
The word is love.
1503
01:26:14,501 --> 01:26:16,696
- l think you better go now, Nick.
1504
01:26:16,770 --> 01:26:18,032
- Vanessa?
1505
01:26:18,105 --> 01:26:21,165
- You pretended to be a priest,
1506
01:26:21,241 --> 01:26:24,301
you actually performed
a wedding ceremony,
1507
01:26:24,378 --> 01:26:27,472
you followed us on our honeymoon.
1508
01:26:27,548 --> 01:26:30,711
And even now,
when l know the truth,
1509
01:26:30,784 --> 01:26:32,752
you break into a church
1510
01:26:32,819 --> 01:26:34,377
and crash our wedding?
1511
01:26:34,454 --> 01:26:36,945
- And l tried to get my sister
to sleep with your fiance.
1512
01:26:37,024 --> 01:26:39,424
- What?
- And l pretended
1513
01:26:39,493 --> 01:26:41,017
to be possessed by the Devil.
1514
01:26:41,094 --> 01:26:43,460
And l'd do it again in a minute.
1515
01:26:43,530 --> 01:26:45,054
- Vanessa doesn't want
a man who lies
1516
01:26:45,132 --> 01:26:46,656
and pretends
to be possessed by the devil!
1517
01:26:46,733 --> 01:26:48,462
- Don't you?
1518
01:26:51,772 --> 01:26:53,399
- No.
1519
01:27:00,914 --> 01:27:02,142
- Well...
1520
01:27:03,517 --> 01:27:05,280
... there's one thing l won't do,
1521
01:27:05,352 --> 01:27:07,820
and that's stand here
and watch you marry another man.
1522
01:27:58,905 --> 01:28:00,065
- Nick's sister,
1523
01:28:00,140 --> 01:28:01,266
right?
1524
01:28:01,341 --> 01:28:02,865
- Yeah.
1525
01:28:06,179 --> 01:28:08,147
- You seem
to be a passionate family.
1526
01:28:08,215 --> 01:28:10,308
- Well, we do our best.
1527
01:28:16,857 --> 01:28:18,984
- l've never been on one of those.
1528
01:28:24,164 --> 01:28:25,324
- Well...
1529
01:28:25,399 --> 01:28:26,559
hop on.
1530
01:28:28,535 --> 01:28:30,002
- All right.
1531
01:28:59,066 --> 01:29:02,627
- So since l married you once,
l don't have to do it again, right?
113004
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