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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
2
00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:12,179
[SPECTATORS] Blood, blood, blood!
3
00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:14,014
Hit him, you pussy!
4
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:16,433
No blood, no porn!
5
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:19,019
Rip his face off!
6
00:00:19,102 --> 00:00:21,897
You motherfucker!
7
00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:29,905
Gentlemen, tonight is gonna
be the ultimate sleepover...
8
00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:32,699
no parents, no rules, no shirts,
9
00:00:32,783 --> 00:00:35,035
and best of all, "Hooker
killer: Vatican City."
10
00:00:35,619 --> 00:00:38,038
- What's that now?
- I've read about this game.
11
00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:39,122
I can't believe you got it.
12
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:42,626
It's rated "CSMBP," for "Child
Services Must Be Present."
13
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:45,462
Yeah. I had to show the guy at
GameStop my dick just to get it.
14
00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:46,588
- Worth it.
- Oh, Jay.
15
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:49,758
So I know your parents
aren't going to be home,
16
00:00:49,841 --> 00:00:52,010
but what about your brothers?
17
00:00:52,094 --> 00:00:55,097
Those guys are manimals. They
stabbed their aunt in the fucking leg.
18
00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:58,100
Val and Curt? They're out all night.
19
00:00:58,183 --> 00:01:01,106
Good. It'll be three
almost-teenage boys
20
00:01:01,107 --> 00:01:03,313
and a violent sexual video game.
21
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:06,900
- I guess that could be fun.
- Oh, Andrew, my sweet boy,
22
00:01:06,984 --> 00:01:09,486
it's going to be the
greatest night of our lives.
23
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:12,197
Sleepover!
24
00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:16,159
Lucky me! Free shards of glass.
25
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,654
- So what are you guys doing tonight?
- We're having a sleepover.
26
00:01:52,738 --> 00:01:54,781
It's at my house, and you can't come.
27
00:01:54,865 --> 00:01:56,533
We're playing the new "Hooker Killer."
28
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,869
Okay, eww, that game is so misogynistic.
29
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:01,121
The whole point is just
to kill women with jobs.
30
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:04,082
Remember, they're not
women, they're hookers.
31
00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:06,460
Stop quoting your dad's
stupid law commercials.
32
00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:08,378
If the ads are stupid,
how come they went viral?
33
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:10,964
- Because they went bad viral.
- There's no such thing as bad viral!
34
00:02:11,048 --> 00:02:14,676
- Name one thing that's viral that's bad.
- HIV.
35
00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:18,889
You mean the most famous
autoimmune disease in existence?
36
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,057
Come on!
37
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,768
[GROANS] Jay is such a jerk.
38
00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:25,145
You don't need those gross boys.
39
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:28,899
- Have your own sleepover.
- With who?
40
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:33,195
- I don't really have many girlfriends.
- Well, what about them?
41
00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:34,571
Devin and Lola?
42
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:38,867
[MISTRESS] ♪ Popular girls ♪
♪ Walkin' down the hallway ♪
43
00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:42,704
♪ Flat-iron hair ♪
♪ Calling the fuckin' shots ♪
44
00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:45,207
I don't really want to be
friends with the popular girls.
45
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:49,586
Of course you do. Everybody
wants to be friends with Devin.
46
00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:51,129
She's the queen bee.
47
00:02:51,213 --> 00:02:54,674
And you want their honey. Bzzz.
48
00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:57,386
- Hey, Devin.
- Hey. What's up, chica?
49
00:02:58,345 --> 00:02:59,846
Hola, mujer.
50
00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:02,349
I know it is lasto minuto...[GROANS]
51
00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:03,767
I'm just gonna speak in English.
52
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:06,603
Do you guys maybe want to come to
a sleepover at my house tonight?
53
00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:10,524
Interesting. Yeah, I've been
looking to diversify my friend group.
54
00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:12,776
- Wait, what?
- I could use a smart girl.
55
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:14,736
- Double wait, what?
- Great!
56
00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:16,988
It'll be fun. We'll be
like Little Women.
57
00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:20,659
Little women? Are you calling me
a midge? 'Cause you're a nobody.
58
00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:22,077
- Lola.
- [MISSY] Oh, no.
59
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:25,497
I think she was probably talking
about the novel Little Women.
60
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:27,309
It's a touching story
about sticking together
61
00:03:27,310 --> 00:03:29,042
in the face of the Civil War.
62
00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:32,462
Yes, that. Missy, do you want
to come to the sleepover too?
63
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,756
- Ah! I'd love to come.
- What are you doing?
64
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:38,009
I could use another smart girl
there. These chicks are scary.
65
00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:39,469
I've never been to a sleepover.
66
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:42,305
There's a nightgown I've been
saving for a very special occasion.
67
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:45,392
It was my grandmother's. She died
in it. One day I will also pass away.
68
00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:47,602
Maybe in this, who knows? Maybe
during the sleepover. Just kidding!
69
00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:49,980
This is actually gonna be interesting.
70
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:52,149
- Let's do it.
- Yeah, let's do it.
71
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:56,153
And Jessi, just like logistically,
Devin is my best friend.
72
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:59,489
If you get too close to her
I will literally end you.
73
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,616
Yay, a sleepover!
74
00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:05,078
Okay, sweetie, now, you sure
you don't want me to cancel?
75
00:04:05,162 --> 00:04:06,413
- It's fine.
- 'Cause I will.
76
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:09,124
Go have fun with Cantor
Dinelle. I'll be okay.
77
00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:10,792
Dad will be the designated adult.
78
00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:13,253
What do you think the deal
is with Sour Patch Kids?
79
00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:15,505
Probably all come from
different fathers, right?
80
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:18,175
- "My dad was a lemon."
- "My dad was a purple."
81
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:20,010
Actually, your dad is a lemon.
82
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,012
- Okay, Shannon.
- Okay, Greg.
83
00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:25,182
[ANDREW'S MOM] Okay, you
have your salicylic acid,
84
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,058
acne wash, and your scraping brush?
85
00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:29,060
- Got 'em.
- What about your special pillow?
86
00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:32,814
It's not special. In fact,
I might not even take it.
87
00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:35,484
- You're not gonna take "Pilbo Baggins"?
- Mom!
88
00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:38,695
You have been on some very
unexpected journeys together.
89
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:40,905
Yes, I'm being made fun of for coming up
90
00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:42,616
with an awesome name for my pillow.
91
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:45,368
- Goodbye, Mrs. Glouberman.
- Goodbye, sweetheart.
92
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:46,536
Bye, Mom.
93
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:49,664
Remember, Andrew... be afraid of things.
94
00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:51,082
Okay, love you too, Mom.
95
00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:54,085
- Hi.
- Hi, Jessi.
96
00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:56,922
Your house is beautiful, but
your driveway needs to be repaved.
97
00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:58,673
These are my parents,
they're both professors.
98
00:04:58,757 --> 00:05:03,345
Holy smokes! Your dog
looks like Nathan Fillion.
99
00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:04,679
Did you see Firefly?
100
00:05:04,763 --> 00:05:07,307
Sort of a Western sci-fi
genre hybrid, but...
101
00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:09,434
look at ol' Dad geeking out again.
102
00:05:09,518 --> 00:05:12,604
If you're a geek, then
I don't wanna be cool.
103
00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:13,939
Okay.
104
00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:17,692
Missy, here are your
snacks... edamame and carrots.
105
00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:19,569
Sugar makes me spazz out.
106
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:22,405
She has what the Incans call
"la fuerza de azúcar."
107
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:23,573
"Sugar strength"!
108
00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:25,659
Maybe we should lay
down some ground rules.
109
00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:29,371
I know we're not doing bedtimes,
but maybe we can sleep in shifts.
110
00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:32,332
- I'd hate to lose my Saturday.
- No, just relax.
111
00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:33,625
Tonight is gonna be baller.
112
00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:36,461
It will be baller than
most... anything else.
113
00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:38,672
- Am I using that at all right?
- No.
114
00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:41,258
Go around to the side! Kids
can't use the front door.
115
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:42,300
Clients only.
116
00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:43,760
- Hi, Jay.
- Hey.
117
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:47,013
This place looks like
the Holocaust Museum.
118
00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:49,599
- Big dog!
- Oh, God, big dog!
119
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:51,601
That's just our pit
bull, Featuring Ludacris.
120
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,979
He won't hurt you guys,
will you, Featuring Ludacris?
121
00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:55,855
Are you a good featured artist?
122
00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:57,816
He's grumpy, 'cause he has
a rare medical condition
123
00:05:57,899 --> 00:05:59,693
that makes him aware
of his own existence.
124
00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:01,111
[WHINES]
125
00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:03,196
Let me give you the tour.
126
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,699
My bros and I are developing a
shitstorm worth of extreme sports,
127
00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:08,451
like "breakball," "golf
punch," and "peep-kour."
128
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:10,787
- "Peep-kour"? wow.
- Have you heard of it?
129
00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:12,289
No, no one ever has.
130
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,708
It's a cross between parkour
and peeping tomfoolery.
131
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:17,127
Here, watch, check this out. [GRUNTING]
132
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,171
[MRS. ALBERT] Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
133
00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:22,549
- Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Albert.
- Hi, Jay!
134
00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:23,466
That was awesome.
135
00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:25,635
I got 10 points 'cause I
saw both their buttholes.
136
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:30,056
I love your kitchen. It
looks so... what is the word?
137
00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:31,975
Shitty. Do you guys have any Cokes?
138
00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,060
Yeah, we have Cokes.
139
00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:36,605
Missy, do you want some
unsweetened cranberry juice?
140
00:06:36,688 --> 00:06:38,440
Nope. I want to try a Coke.
141
00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:40,483
Missy, aren't you not
supposed to have sugar?
142
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:43,153
Oh, my God, what are you, like, her mom?
143
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:45,155
Yeah. Are you gonna divorce her dad
144
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,699
and then marry some guy
who lives in another state,
145
00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:50,910
and then sometimes your daughter
has to, like, Uber to school
146
00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:55,915
because it's cheaper for you to
fly back on a Tuesday, or like what?
147
00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:58,084
Jessi, I-I appreciate your concern,
148
00:06:58,168 --> 00:07:01,463
but I'm a part of this group
now and I'd like to try a Coke.
149
00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:05,508
Let's do makeovers, you
guys. Where's your makeup?
150
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:08,762
I don't have makeup
but I do have sunscreen.
151
00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:11,514
Okay, sweetie, where's
your mom's makeup?
152
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:13,892
[JAY] Everything I know
I owe to my brothers.
153
00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:15,352
[NICK] Where are Val and Curt?
154
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:18,229
Oh, man. They're at some bitchin'
high school party tonight.
155
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:20,023
They made me trim their
pubes before they left
156
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:23,193
because they are out there
swingin' dicks and bonin' chicks.
157
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:24,444
Oh, man!
158
00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:27,864
Okay, so, this is our percussion room.
159
00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:29,658
This is the armory.
160
00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:31,326
And this is the door we never open.
161
00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:37,958
And we never open it because something
quite terrible is behind it...?
162
00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:40,335
Andrew, it's the door
we never open. Okay.
163
00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:44,589
And finally, this is
where the magic happens.
164
00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:46,925
- Literally.
- Jesus!
165
00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:50,720
Was that a pigeon spray-painted
white to look like a dove?
166
00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:53,056
- A magician never reveals his secrets.
- [NICK] Okay.
167
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:56,267
Now, there's someone very
special I want you guys to meet.
168
00:07:57,227 --> 00:07:58,979
- That's a pillow.
- No, no, no, no.
169
00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:01,481
She's so much more than a pillow.
170
00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:05,652
Marrone. Don't you want
to just stick your dick in her?
171
00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:07,487
Hey, what's that, now?
172
00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:11,157
- Jay, do you... fuck the pillow?
- Yeah, my same question.
173
00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:13,910
Oh, yeah, guys, I fuck my pillow.
174
00:08:15,078 --> 00:08:18,581
I'm sorry, my tone was off. Yes,
I 100-percent fuck my pillow.
175
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,500
First, I make a slit.
176
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:23,086
Not too long, careful
as to not rip the edges,
177
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:25,171
making what I call "the husband stitch."
178
00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:27,257
Then, I take two Ziploc bags
179
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:29,259
and I fill them with
Amy's Organic Lentil Soup,
180
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:32,512
which I microwave to
exactly 98.6 degrees...
181
00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:36,057
not enough to burn you, but just
enough to feel warm and inviting.
182
00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:38,852
Then I place them in
the slit of the pillow.
183
00:08:40,103 --> 00:08:42,772
There's another slit in the back,
but that's only for my birthday.
184
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:45,358
- This kid might be a genius.
- What do you do for cleanup?
185
00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:46,818
I eat the soup.
186
00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:47,944
It's in the bag!
187
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:50,572
You know, Jay, Andrew
has a special pillow, too.
188
00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:52,115
- Let me see.
- No! God damn it!
189
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,616
Don't touch him, please.
190
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:56,244
Yours is a him. Interesting, Andrew.
191
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:58,913
It's okay, big guy. No
one's touching Pilbo.
192
00:08:58,997 --> 00:09:02,125
- That's your special pillow.
- It's not my special pillow.
193
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:04,919
It's just a pillow.
And it is normal for me
194
00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:07,672
to not want Jay to stick
his penis inside it.
195
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:10,633
Just a little powder, and voilà.
196
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:16,181
I'm sorry, am I gorgeous right now?
197
00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:19,559
Take a selfie of yourself
and get Devin in there,
198
00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:23,021
so everyone knows that you
fucks with the big dogs.
199
00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:25,106
#Stunning.
200
00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:28,318
You should see how long it
takes with this dump truck.
201
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,594
That's funny. We can say terrible things
202
00:09:30,595 --> 00:09:32,989
to each other because we're so close.
203
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:36,534
Now that I see you all made up
you're like, naturally very pretty.
204
00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:38,912
- Yeah, if you, like, like Jews.
- Lola.
205
00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:41,498
What? We're all joking.
I'm a dump truck.
206
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:44,292
[MISSY YELLS] Guys!
What should we do next?
207
00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:45,961
Can I drink out of the goldfish bowl?
208
00:09:45,962 --> 00:09:47,587
I won't eat the fish, maybe I will!
209
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:49,089
Missy, are you okay?
210
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:52,675
Yeah, you look kind of psycho.
211
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:56,679
[MISSY] Nope, I'm hunky-dory,
or should I say horsey-donkey?
212
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:59,849
[LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY]
Make me pretty like Jessi!
213
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,768
Maybe you should have a
drink of water or something.
214
00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:03,645
Maybe you should suck my dick!
215
00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:07,941
I said, make me pretty like Jessi!
216
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:09,776
Why are you wasting ammo?
217
00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:11,986
[JAY] You are in
strangling range. Andrew!
218
00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:14,114
[ANDREW] Oh, my God,
they die in real time?
219
00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:16,741
Yeah, you watch their
souls leave their bodies.
220
00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:18,409
A nun's covering her with a blanket.
221
00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:19,786
- [ANDREW] This is fucked-up.
- [JAY] Grab the soul!
222
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:21,996
- Grab the soul!
- [ANDREW] I got the coins, here you go.
223
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:23,748
Okay, wash your bloody
hands in the fountain,
224
00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:25,792
- and we gotta get outta here.
- Oh, a gela-teria.
225
00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:26,918
It's pronounced gelate-ria.
226
00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:29,003
How many coins do you have?
We can both buy a gelato.
227
00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:30,421
[ANDREW] Hey, what the hell?
228
00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:32,549
I'm sorry, were you in
the middle of a game?
229
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,592
Val, Curt, don't be assholes!
230
00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:36,427
Yeah, don't be assholes,
you fucking assholes.
231
00:10:36,511 --> 00:10:38,513
I thought you guys were at
a cool high school party.
232
00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:40,807
We did make an appearance,
grabbed some tit.
233
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:43,017
That part was rad. But
when you get to be our age,
234
00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:45,937
you'll see those parties, they're
full of fakers, full of skanks.
235
00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:49,190
Would you two care to play some
"Hooker Killer: Vatican City" with us?
236
00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:51,985
Game for babies. You guys
want to see some real sex?
237
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:53,027
We already saw your neighbors.
238
00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:55,864
We're talking about one of
the greatest pornographic works
239
00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:57,699
in the history of skinema.
240
00:10:57,782 --> 00:11:02,287
It stars the Italian Stallion
himself, Mr. Sylvester Stallone.
241
00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:05,206
- That's my buddy Frank's brother.
- Did it before he was famous.
242
00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:08,626
Just a struggling actor
with a thick, meaty cock.
243
00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:12,505
Yes. So tired of jacking off to
the ladies from SportsCenter.
244
00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:15,508
Well, I would certainly not
be opposed to seeing that film.
245
00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:18,511
Today's the day, Andrew
Glouberman, you become a man.
246
00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:19,637
Mazel tov! [YELLS]
247
00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:24,851
I didn't wrap a napkin around the
glass and I don't wear shoes! Oh, God!
248
00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:27,270
Are you bitches ready?
249
00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:28,479
Here she is.
250
00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:32,191
I love these sock boobs.
They're real bazongas.
251
00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:35,486
- I like grabbing on to 'em.
- That's good, 'cause nobody else will.
252
00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:39,657
Oh, gosh, isn't she tragic, Jessi?
253
00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:43,745
Agree with Devin. She is the
alpha, and she must be satiated.
254
00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:45,997
- No.
- Missy is the weak one.
255
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:47,707
She must be sacrificed.
256
00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:50,054
She looks like one of the meth heads
257
00:11:50,055 --> 00:11:52,377
from the sex scene in
Dallas Buyers Club.
258
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:57,050
Oh, my God. I don't know what that
movie is, but that sounds spot-on.
259
00:11:57,133 --> 00:12:00,053
Let's do nails. Let's paint
them up. I want to do nails!
260
00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:04,223
- Do my nails or suck my dick!
- I am so glad you invited her.
261
00:12:04,307 --> 00:12:06,392
Every party needs entertainment.
262
00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:09,562
Normally I would just have Lola
spread a rumor about herself.
263
00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:12,148
I'm lesbians with my mom.
264
00:12:12,231 --> 00:12:13,399
[CURT AND JAY GRUNT]
265
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:16,235
This is crazy. Why is Jay doing this?
266
00:12:16,319 --> 00:12:17,666
You're an only child. You don't get it.
267
00:12:17,667 --> 00:12:19,197
This is how brothers
are with each other.
268
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,699
He's right. My brother's a real
asshole. Want to see a picture?
269
00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:23,326
I fuckin' love this guy.
270
00:12:24,535 --> 00:12:26,496
Oh, my God! Is he dead?
271
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:28,790
Jesus, Jay, are you okay?
272
00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:30,083
How long was I out?
273
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:33,127
My record is two and a half
minutes. Let's do it again!
274
00:12:33,211 --> 00:12:35,588
Nah. I want to see these gaywads fight.
275
00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:39,133
- No, no, no.
- Thank you, Curt, but I think we're good.
276
00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:40,551
- Oh, you're good?
- Yeah.
277
00:12:40,635 --> 00:12:44,222
Okay, they're good. Well,
eat my swampy ass, bitch!
278
00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:47,183
You want to see porn? You
gotta pay for it in blood.
279
00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:50,019
Blood for sex? That's some
old-school shit. I'm into it.
280
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:52,397
Blood. Nick, can I talk to
you over here for a second?
281
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:53,523
Sure.
282
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:58,277
- Look, I don't want to fight you.
- I don't want to be here at all.
283
00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:00,488
Think we can just, you
know, pretend to fight.
284
00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:04,867
Yeah, maybe throw a couple soft,
fake hits and then it's porn city.
285
00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:06,327
- What could go wrong?
- What could go wrong?
286
00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:09,038
- [CROWD NOISE]
- Ladies and gentleturds,
287
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:11,916
welcome to the octagon of death.
288
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:15,086
In this corner, weighing
in at practically nothing,
289
00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:18,339
it's "Polly Pocket" herself,
the "Lilliputian Leprechaun,"
290
00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:20,299
Saint Nick!
291
00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:22,093
BLOOD! BLOOD! WE REQUIRE BLOOD!
292
00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:24,345
One at a time! Vegas odds only!
293
00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:27,390
And in this corner: the
"Fiddler on the Roof,"
294
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:31,644
the "Pubescent Delicatessen,"
the Gloubermensch!
295
00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:33,271
Now fight!
296
00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:34,772
- Little right.
- Yeah, there you go.
297
00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:36,065
Rip his face off!
298
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:37,442
- Sorry.
- No, no, we're good.
299
00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:38,901
- Too hard?
- No blood, no porn!
300
00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:39,944
- Nice hook.
- Thank you.
301
00:13:40,028 --> 00:13:42,405
Kiss! Kiss on the mouth!
302
00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:45,408
Oh, shit! Are you okay? I'm sorry, man.
303
00:13:46,617 --> 00:13:48,786
I'm bleeding, you asshole!
304
00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:50,413
Blood? Blood.
305
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:53,499
Don't think, react! Tear
his fucking head off!
306
00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:55,626
- Motherfucker!
- Ow!
307
00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:59,922
Jesus! What the hell? We were
supposed to be pretending.
308
00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:01,591
[GRUNTING AND GASPING]
309
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:04,469
Tear his face off! Hit
him with the hai...
310
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:06,471
- Get off me!
- [VAL AND CURT LAUGH]
311
00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:08,598
This is even better
than "Killing Hookers."
312
00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:11,768
Okay, Jessi, who do you have a crush on?
313
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,312
- And you can't say nobody.
- I have a crush!
314
00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:16,606
It's TV's Nathan
Fillion. I wanna kiss him.
315
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:19,108
I don't know who that
is, so he sounds stupid.
316
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,319
Au contraire, Nathan Fillion's a hunk!
317
00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:24,989
Oh, man, I should stop her.
She's on a serious sugar high.
318
00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:27,867
Hush, puppy. Let her dig her own grave.
319
00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:30,203
Sometimes I like to imagine
a scenario where we're friends
320
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:31,662
and we solve crimes, like Castle,
321
00:14:31,746 --> 00:14:33,581
but the crimes are in
space, like Firefly,
322
00:14:33,664 --> 00:14:38,503
and then we fall in love, but we
stay best friends at the same time.
323
00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:40,546
Missy, I'm falling in love with you,
324
00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:43,383
but I also want to stay best
friends with you at the same time.
325
00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:45,093
Oh, Nathan Fillion.
326
00:14:45,176 --> 00:14:47,178
I want to spend the
rest of my life with you
327
00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:49,180
solving space crimes, doing homework,
328
00:14:49,263 --> 00:14:50,765
and listening to Wait,
Wait, Don't Tell Me.
329
00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:52,892
But first, let's dance the merengue.
330
00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:56,104
Because I spent time in Latin
America and understand other cultures.
331
00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:58,439
You are so beautiful, Missy.
332
00:14:58,523 --> 00:15:02,819
- May I kiss you with my mouth?
- Of course, Nathan Fillion.
333
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,614
- Ruff! Ruff!
- [DOG BARKING]
334
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:08,241
Nathan Fillion?
335
00:15:09,492 --> 00:15:12,662
- Oh, my God, this is the best thing ever.
- [LAUGHS] Oh, my God.
336
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,080
Missy, what is wrong with you?
337
00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:16,040
What? Why? Why are you mad at me?
338
00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:19,961
I'm mad because you're so weird.
Why can't you be more normal?
339
00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:24,340
You're being really mean, Jessi.
I thought we were gonna be friends.
340
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:28,719
I am trying to be your friend,
but you make it so hard!
341
00:15:28,803 --> 00:15:30,263
Stop yelling at me.
342
00:15:30,346 --> 00:15:33,391
All I wanted was to be a
part of a fun sleepover...
343
00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:37,186
- [LOLA] Oh, my God!
- No! Darn it, Nathan Fillion.
344
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:38,479
Don't eat that.
345
00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:41,441
- Are we having fun or what?
- Or what.
346
00:15:41,524 --> 00:15:44,110
Please, it wasn't on purpose.
You leaned into the punch.
347
00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:45,319
Eat shit.
348
00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:47,905
Okay, look, let's
lighten the mood a little.
349
00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:51,117
You know what we need? To harness
the healing power of magic.
350
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,494
You gonna pull a
rabbit out of your butt?
351
00:15:53,578 --> 00:15:55,496
- Magic's gay.
- Magic is not gay.
352
00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:57,248
- It transcends sexuality.
- Gay.
353
00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:58,916
- You assholes unplugged our game!
- Gay.
354
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,210
You kicked me in the
face, and I take it all...
355
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:02,795
- Right up your butt?
- Next to the rabbit?
356
00:16:02,879 --> 00:16:05,756
I fuckin' hate you guys!
These are my friends,
357
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:09,469
and you ruined a whole night sleepover!
358
00:16:10,011 --> 00:16:12,263
You guys are the worst! [CRYING]
359
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:16,100
All right, next task:
you guys have got...
360
00:16:16,184 --> 00:16:17,810
No! No next task.
361
00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:20,688
You said if we fought each
other we could watch a porno.
362
00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:24,150
And we fought each other,
brother, we fought each other!
363
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:26,611
- So show me the porno.
- Show us the porno.
364
00:16:26,694 --> 00:16:29,071
- We've been through so much!
- Show us the goddamn porno!
365
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:30,865
All right, jeez! Calm down, ladies.
366
00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:32,658
I didn't realize it was
this important to you.
367
00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:35,328
- We can watch the porno right now.
- Oh, thank God!
368
00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:38,247
Just as soon as we have a light snack.
369
00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:42,418
The name of the game is "Jizzcuit,"
370
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:45,171
AKA "Ookie-Cookie,"
AKA "Cum on a Cracker."
371
00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:47,173
It's very simple. We
stand around in a circle
372
00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:48,716
and jerk off onto a Triscuit.
373
00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:50,384
Last one to come eats it.
374
00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:52,595
Wait, what's that now?
375
00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:54,597
But, and here's why
we're men of our word,
376
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:58,392
you get to watch the porno while
you jerk off, so everybody wins.
377
00:16:58,476 --> 00:17:00,853
Except for the bitch who has
to eat the cum-soaked cracker.
378
00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:03,898
- [GAGS]
- Wow, okay, a lot to process here.
379
00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:05,942
On the one hand, we get to watch porn,
380
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:07,985
but on the other we
might have to eat cum.
381
00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:10,947
But on the third hand, I'm
looking at prepubescent Nick
382
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:14,367
and I don't think his "frosting
factory's" open for business yet.
383
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:17,620
But on the fourth hand that
fucker punched you in the face,
384
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:20,039
so he can eat a dick and a jizzcuit.
385
00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:21,707
[WHIMPERS]
386
00:17:23,084 --> 00:17:26,128
Pardon me, Val, may I see
that cracker for a second?
387
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:28,256
Sure. It's low-sodium, for now.
388
00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:31,842
What the hell, you assclown? Now
we have to get another Triscuit!
389
00:17:31,926 --> 00:17:33,803
You two, don't go anywhere.
390
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:37,473
- Nick, we're getting you out of here.
- What? Why?
391
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:38,557
This has been a terrible night,
392
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,893
filled with many dark
and regrettable things.
393
00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:43,813
Years from now we'll talk about
this at a party, thinking it's funny,
394
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:45,314
and then immediately feel embarrassed
395
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,692
and realize this was almost
certainly child abuse.
396
00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:50,111
- Let's go.
- Do you think we can get out of here?
397
00:17:50,194 --> 00:17:54,949
My dear boy, I make this vow...
no cum shall enter your tummy.
398
00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:57,994
- A broken promise I made to Rod Stewart.
- Is that true?
399
00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,912
You're picturing it,
we're talking about it.
400
00:17:59,996 --> 00:18:02,248
- What?
- A callback to the last episode.
401
00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:04,667
They're binge-watching it.
You're binge-watching it, right?
402
00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:08,754
I can't wait for you to see the
next one. Jessi discovers her vagina.
403
00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:10,798
It's a very sex-positive episode.
404
00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:12,091
[VOMITING]
405
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:16,178
[SOBBING] You just invited
me here to make fun of me.
406
00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:17,388
No, I didn't.
407
00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:21,017
This is going to be my
harrowing middle-school story
408
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,685
that I tell on The Moth.
409
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:27,106
[DEVIN] Jessi, you have to see
this pic of Missy kissing your dog.
410
00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:30,026
- We're posting it #MissyFit.
- What?
411
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:33,946
It's awesome. I got her
full-on Frenching your dog.
412
00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:37,867
- Come on, guys, you can't post that.
- No one touches my phone!
413
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,828
Pull her hair out from the roots!
414
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:44,707
- Let go of the phone!
- Stop trying to make out with me, lesbo!
415
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:46,542
You're not my mom!
416
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,377
- [JESSI] Let go of my hair!
- [BONG BURBLING]
417
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:51,339
Rusted Root isn't rusty at all.
418
00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:55,343
♪ On my way ♪
♪ On my way ♪
419
00:18:55,426 --> 00:18:56,344
[YELLS]
420
00:18:57,553 --> 00:18:58,804
Done. They're deleted.
421
00:18:58,888 --> 00:19:01,265
I hate you. Your house sucks!
422
00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:04,685
My God, I'm a dump truck.
423
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:08,856
I don't think you're a
very nice person, Jessi.
424
00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:10,524
But I deleted the photo.
425
00:19:10,608 --> 00:19:13,569
But you yelled at me
and you called me weird.
426
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:16,197
Honestly, Jessi, there's
a special place in hell
427
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:17,948
for women who don't support other women.
428
00:19:18,032 --> 00:19:21,619
Are you fucking joking, Devin?
You're the ringleader of all of this!
429
00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:24,246
I only went along with
it so you would like me.
430
00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:27,625
I only do everything so
that Devin will like me.
431
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:32,088
I'm sorry you're all such beta-bitches,
432
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:35,675
and for your 411-formation,
it's tough being in charge.
433
00:19:35,758 --> 00:19:38,636
You don't know what it's like
434
00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:42,640
being the prettiest and the
most popular girl at school.
435
00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:44,725
You can't know.
436
00:19:44,809 --> 00:19:46,352
God!
437
00:19:46,936 --> 00:19:49,271
"Prettiest" seemed
kinda wedged in there.
438
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:53,442
[MONSTER] Soldiers of fortune, your
mission is to escape this house.
439
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:54,985
Okay, what do we do?
440
00:19:55,069 --> 00:19:57,279
Press my nip. It's the start button.
441
00:19:57,822 --> 00:19:58,781
[VIDEOGAME SOUND EFFECTS]
442
00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:05,079
Where do you turd burglars
think you're going?
443
00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:08,124
[GRUNTS]
444
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:10,793
- That's coarse!
- Run!
445
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,503
[GRUNTING]
446
00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:15,423
Eat my seed, gaylords! [GRUNTING]
447
00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:18,884
When did he have time to jerk off?
448
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:22,388
Hyah!
449
00:20:22,596 --> 00:20:25,808
- [YELLS] It stings!
- But it's worth it!
450
00:20:27,518 --> 00:20:28,644
[NICK] Make a right.
451
00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:31,981
- That's the door they never open.
- Screw that!
452
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:33,357
[NICK GASPS]
453
00:20:33,482 --> 00:20:36,026
Jay's mom was here the whole time?
454
00:20:36,110 --> 00:20:39,196
- You boys havin' fun?
- No. Your sons are insane.
455
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:40,698
We want to go home.
456
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:46,036
I didn't realize you
were a bunch of pussies.
457
00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:47,455
- What's that?
- Huh?
458
00:20:47,538 --> 00:20:50,291
Boys! We've got runners!
459
00:20:50,374 --> 00:20:52,960
- My God, she's one of them.
- Come and get 'em!
460
00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:54,003
[BOTH SCREAMING]
461
00:20:55,379 --> 00:20:57,423
[NICK] Oh, my God,
it's Featuring Ludacris!
462
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:01,594
[IN ROUGH, CANINE VOICE] Me... me...
463
00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:03,095
[IN REGULAR MALE VOICE] Me.
464
00:21:03,179 --> 00:21:04,972
[SLOW-MOTION SOUND EFFECT]
465
00:21:06,015 --> 00:21:09,185
Oh, my God, we made it. That was insane!
466
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:11,896
No. No, no, wait. No.
467
00:21:11,979 --> 00:21:13,731
No, no, this can't be...
468
00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:17,276
Pilbo. Oh, no, I can't leave
him with those monsters, Nick.
469
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:19,570
Oh, man. I'm really sorry, Andrew,
470
00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:22,364
but we can't go back in
there just for a pillow.
471
00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:25,868
Nick, it's not just a pillow...
472
00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:28,621
it's my special pillow.
473
00:21:29,872 --> 00:21:32,208
- Hey, look at me.
- Oh, my God.
474
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:34,585
Hey. We're going back in.
475
00:21:34,668 --> 00:21:36,796
We're going to get Pilbo.
476
00:21:36,879 --> 00:21:40,174
Devin! Devin!
477
00:21:40,257 --> 00:21:41,592
We've got to do something.
478
00:21:41,675 --> 00:21:44,595
The neighbors are gonna think
you're sacrificing a goat.
479
00:21:44,678 --> 00:21:47,306
Lola, I want to help you guys make up.
480
00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:48,641
Like, why?
481
00:21:48,724 --> 00:21:52,394
Because I would never want
to come between you and Devin.
482
00:21:52,478 --> 00:21:55,439
Wait, hold on, are you
saying we should kill Devin,
483
00:21:55,523 --> 00:21:56,633
take her skin and wear it,
484
00:21:56,634 --> 00:22:00,528
and then blame the whole
thing on Missy, or what?
485
00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:03,948
No. I just think you and
Devin belong together.
486
00:22:04,031 --> 00:22:06,700
Oh, my God, that's
actually, like, very sweet.
487
00:22:06,784 --> 00:22:10,162
Okay, here, just repeat
after me. [WHISPERS]
488
00:22:10,287 --> 00:22:11,705
- Devin...
- [DEVIN] What?
489
00:22:11,789 --> 00:22:14,250
Are you gonna yell at me for
kissing your stepdad, too?
490
00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:17,336
Wait, what? I will cut your skin off!
491
00:22:17,419 --> 00:22:19,255
Lola... [WHISPERS]
492
00:22:19,463 --> 00:22:21,632
Okay. Listen, I get it.
493
00:22:21,715 --> 00:22:25,678
It's really hard being in charge
and we're super lucky to have you.
494
00:22:25,761 --> 00:22:26,679
[WHISPERS]
495
00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:29,598
We demand perfection
and that's not fair,
496
00:22:29,682 --> 00:22:33,477
but we only do it because
you're honestly, like, a goddess
497
00:22:33,561 --> 00:22:35,777
and that's why it's so hard to not want
498
00:22:35,778 --> 00:22:39,358
to literally turn you
into a human jumpsuit.
499
00:22:39,441 --> 00:22:43,279
- That's all I ever wanted to hear.
- Oh, my God.
500
00:22:43,988 --> 00:22:47,032
- I went off-script there at the end.
- I know.
501
00:22:47,116 --> 00:22:49,910
Wow, you really pulled a Cyrano, Jessi.
502
00:22:49,994 --> 00:22:53,539
Oh, Missy, I'm so sorry I was mean.
503
00:22:53,622 --> 00:22:56,625
And I'm sorry I made you say that stuff.
504
00:22:56,709 --> 00:22:59,336
I just wanted you to be popular
505
00:22:59,420 --> 00:23:01,005
and have flat-iron hair
506
00:23:01,088 --> 00:23:04,008
and call the fucking shots!
507
00:23:04,592 --> 00:23:06,510
And I'm sorry I spazzed out.
508
00:23:06,594 --> 00:23:10,347
This really has been a harrowing
ordeal of emotional brutality.
509
00:23:10,431 --> 00:23:14,226
So, the crying portion of
the evening has concluded,
510
00:23:14,310 --> 00:23:15,936
and now it's time to watch a movie.
511
00:23:16,020 --> 00:23:19,815
Or we could watch Castle
starring Nathan Fillion.
512
00:23:19,898 --> 00:23:21,817
That sounds good to me.
513
00:23:22,985 --> 00:23:24,903
Damn it, it's not here.
514
00:23:25,571 --> 00:23:27,865
[SNIFFS] Andrew, do you smell that?
515
00:23:27,948 --> 00:23:29,074
- Lentils.
- Lentils.
516
00:23:30,618 --> 00:23:32,745
♪ Heating up my lentils ♪
517
00:23:32,828 --> 00:23:34,496
- Back in.
- [MICROWAVE BEEPS]
518
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:38,334
Thank God, no slits.
519
00:23:38,917 --> 00:23:40,586
Hey, why do you guys
have all your stuff?
520
00:23:40,669 --> 00:23:42,546
Because we have to go home, Jay.
521
00:23:42,630 --> 00:23:44,673
Your brothers are trying
to make us eat jizz.
522
00:23:44,757 --> 00:23:46,383
[VAL] Come out, come
out, wherever you are!
523
00:23:46,467 --> 00:23:48,510
[CURT] We found a Tostitos Scoop.
524
00:23:48,594 --> 00:23:52,014
- Jay, come with us.
- No, Andrew. My place is here.
525
00:23:52,097 --> 00:23:55,100
Go. The window. I'll cover you guys.
526
00:23:56,435 --> 00:23:58,103
Okay, aim for the trampoline.
527
00:23:58,187 --> 00:23:59,396
- Nick?
- Yeah, Andrew?
528
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:01,357
Can I sleep over at your place?
529
00:24:01,523 --> 00:24:03,567
Sure, Andrew, if the
fall doesn't cripple us
530
00:24:03,651 --> 00:24:07,279
- you can totally sleep over.
- [VAL] Come out, wherever you are!
531
00:24:07,363 --> 00:24:08,364
[BOTH SCREAMING]
532
00:24:08,447 --> 00:24:10,741
[BOTH YELLING,
SLOW-MOTION SOUND EFFECT]
533
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:14,620
[SLOW-MOTION SOUND EFFECT] Look,
the Alberts are still going at it.
534
00:24:14,703 --> 00:24:16,955
[SLOW-MOTION SOUND EFFECT -
THE ALBERTS GRUNT AND GROAN]
535
00:24:17,039 --> 00:24:19,792
[SLOW-MOTION SOUND EFFECT] This
is the best night of my life!
536
00:24:19,875 --> 00:24:22,711
[SLOW-MOTION SOUND EFFECT] Sleepover!
537
00:24:29,802 --> 00:24:32,596
[KATE] Wait a minute, Castle, if
Arroyo's a trained lifeguard...
538
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:34,640
[CASTLE] Then who was
wearing those water wings?
539
00:24:34,723 --> 00:24:38,560
This show is great. Their
chemistry's undeniable.
540
00:24:38,644 --> 00:24:41,438
We actually shot this scene
day-for-night, L.A. for New York.
541
00:24:41,522 --> 00:24:42,356
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
542
00:24:42,439 --> 00:24:45,150
- You do a heck of a job, my man.
- Thanks. You're too much.
543
00:24:45,818 --> 00:24:48,112
Oh, my God, what a rush, right?
544
00:24:48,195 --> 00:24:49,863
I mean, that's exciting!
545
00:24:51,156 --> 00:24:52,408
Oh, Andrew.
546
00:24:52,491 --> 00:24:55,077
Oh, God, I'm so sorry.
547
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:57,705
No, no, no. It's okay, Nick.
548
00:24:57,788 --> 00:25:02,042
It's probably time for
pillows to just be pillows.
549
00:25:03,544 --> 00:25:06,380
But, you know, it's a bummer
we went through all of that
550
00:25:06,463 --> 00:25:08,507
and never got to see Stallone bone.
551
00:25:08,590 --> 00:25:11,969
Actually, I did manage to
grab this on the way out.
552
00:25:12,052 --> 00:25:12,970
[CLEARS THROAT]
553
00:25:13,053 --> 00:25:14,054
Check this out.
554
00:25:14,930 --> 00:25:16,724
[NICK] Andrew, nicely done.
555
00:25:16,807 --> 00:25:18,642
Wait, does your family even have a VCR?
556
00:25:18,726 --> 00:25:22,396
We do, but there's this Jane
Fonda workout tape stuck in it.
557
00:25:22,479 --> 00:25:23,406
[NICK] It's kind of amazing that
558
00:25:23,407 --> 00:25:25,441
Jay's not more screwed
up than he is, right?
559
00:25:25,524 --> 00:25:27,651
[ANDREW] His mom called us pussies.
560
00:25:27,735 --> 00:25:30,404
[NICK] And his brothers make
him for real eat their jizz.
561
00:25:30,487 --> 00:25:32,114
[ANDREW] Look at all these houses.
562
00:25:32,197 --> 00:25:35,325
You never know how many
people are inside eating jizz.
563
00:25:35,626 --> 00:25:40,626
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
45738
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