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[funky music]
¶ Have no confusion ¶
4
00:00:04,329 --> 00:00:06,997
¶ This is sexual fusion ¶
5
00:00:07,074 --> 00:00:08,665
¶ Creating Higgs Boson ¶
6
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¶ Is really freaking awesome ¶
7
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¶ That's why we push
the particles ¶
8
00:00:11,578 --> 00:00:13,053
¶ In a loop ¶
9
00:00:13,130 --> 00:00:15,255
¶ Shoop, shoop,
travelling fast ¶
10
00:00:15,332 --> 00:00:17,174
¶ Fast as light ¶
11
00:00:17,250 --> 00:00:19,143
¶ Come on and get there, baby ¶
12
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¶ Oh, so damn tight ¶
13
00:00:20,796 --> 00:00:24,014
¶ Taking this electric ride ¶
14
00:00:24,091 --> 00:00:26,683
¶ Our particles will collide ¶
15
00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,435
We about to collide, baby.
16
00:00:28,512 --> 00:00:30,312
I hope you're ready.
17
00:00:30,388 --> 00:00:34,274
We got protons and neutrons
swirling around everywhere.
18
00:00:34,285 --> 00:00:36,401
I think I feel a solar flare
coming on.
19
00:00:36,412 --> 00:00:38,278
[all cheering]
20
00:00:38,289 --> 00:00:39,362
Aww, yeah.
21
00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:40,664
Put your goggles on.
22
00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:42,407
Here we go.
23
00:00:42,484 --> 00:00:45,118
Aww, bam!
24
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[applause]
25
00:00:47,322 --> 00:00:49,790
[Craig grunting, yelling]
26
00:00:49,866 --> 00:00:53,052
[applause]
27
00:00:58,309 --> 00:01:01,051
That's sexual fusion.
28
00:01:01,128 --> 00:01:02,811
One, two, three, four!
29
00:01:02,888 --> 00:01:04,063
I'm Ben Robinson.
30
00:01:04,139 --> 00:01:05,189
I'm Craig Robinson,
31
00:01:05,265 --> 00:01:06,690
and we are
the Nasty Delicious.
32
00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:09,392
Thank you!
33
00:01:09,469 --> 00:01:12,488
[cheers and applause]
34
00:01:16,476 --> 00:01:17,776
Hey, Craig,
a lot of girls
35
00:01:17,853 --> 00:01:19,236
left their numbers
for you tonight.
36
00:01:19,312 --> 00:01:21,238
Mmm, what about me?
37
00:01:21,314 --> 00:01:22,322
Uh, there's one.
38
00:01:22,333 --> 00:01:23,323
Bobbi.
39
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,367
Could go either way.
40
00:01:25,443 --> 00:01:26,418
That's what he said.
41
00:01:29,790 --> 00:01:31,832
You're not gonna call
any of those girls?
42
00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:35,127
Man, teaching really
saps your sex sauce.
43
00:01:35,203 --> 00:01:36,345
I'm beat up, man.
44
00:01:36,421 --> 00:01:37,838
Between lessons plans
45
00:01:37,914 --> 00:01:39,840
and grading papers
and meetings,
46
00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:42,425
I think we need to take
a few less gigs.
47
00:01:42,502 --> 00:01:43,802
So why don't you
just go back to subbing?
48
00:01:43,879 --> 00:01:45,220
You went full-time
for Victoria,
49
00:01:45,231 --> 00:01:46,221
she don't want you.
50
00:01:46,298 --> 00:01:47,222
Where's the dilemma?
51
00:01:47,233 --> 00:01:48,223
The kids.
52
00:01:48,300 --> 00:01:49,358
I like teaching them.
53
00:01:49,434 --> 00:01:50,359
Okay?
54
00:01:50,435 --> 00:01:51,852
I also like eating.
55
00:01:51,928 --> 00:01:53,436
If I go back
to substitute teaching,
56
00:01:53,513 --> 00:01:55,405
we go back to
substitute eating.
57
00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:58,367
Remember
bologna taquitos?
58
00:02:02,123 --> 00:02:04,823
Remember
spaghetti hell-nos?
59
00:02:04,900 --> 00:02:06,825
Oh, hell no.
60
00:02:06,902 --> 00:02:08,377
Man, you're gonna have to
figure out something,
61
00:02:08,453 --> 00:02:10,379
because this ain't working.
62
00:02:10,455 --> 00:02:12,706
And that's coming from a man
who really understands
63
00:02:12,782 --> 00:02:15,259
not working.
64
00:02:15,335 --> 00:02:18,920
[upbeat music]
¶ Mr. Robinson ¶
65
00:02:18,997 --> 00:02:20,922
¶ Mr. Robinson ¶
66
00:02:20,999 --> 00:02:24,476
¶ ¶
67
00:02:29,558 --> 00:02:31,150
[metal clangs]
68
00:02:36,806 --> 00:02:39,366
- You're late again.
- [yells]
69
00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:42,444
I wasn't.
I was here.
70
00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:43,862
I just--
I fell out the window
71
00:02:43,939 --> 00:02:45,697
and then I was
climbing back in
72
00:02:45,708 --> 00:02:47,282
'cause I didn't want
the window to think it won.
73
00:02:47,293 --> 00:02:48,283
Please stop talking.
74
00:02:48,294 --> 00:02:49,284
Thank you.
75
00:02:49,295 --> 00:02:51,295
You missed home room again,
76
00:02:51,371 --> 00:02:53,496
I'm still waiting for your
progress reports,
77
00:02:53,573 --> 00:02:55,165
and you still
owe me a schedule
78
00:02:55,242 --> 00:02:56,499
for your parent-teacher
conferences, and--
79
00:02:56,576 --> 00:02:57,876
I got a lot on my plate.
80
00:02:57,953 --> 00:02:59,169
Well, get a bigger fork,
81
00:02:59,246 --> 00:03:01,796
because here's some more.
82
00:03:01,807 --> 00:03:04,174
And maybe if you didn't spend
every night in a club,
83
00:03:04,251 --> 00:03:05,717
you'd be able to get some
of your work done.
84
00:03:05,794 --> 00:03:06,810
I was gonna
catch up this weekend.
85
00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:08,312
Well, you better,
86
00:03:08,388 --> 00:03:09,930
because you can't
coast on your good looks
87
00:03:10,006 --> 00:03:12,482
and your
tight abs forever.
88
00:03:13,802 --> 00:03:14,793
I have been doing sit-ups;
89
00:03:14,870 --> 00:03:16,811
thank you for noticing.
90
00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:17,812
Do another set;
91
00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:19,272
maybe I'll be nicer to you.
92
00:03:19,349 --> 00:03:24,536
¶ ¶
93
00:03:28,608 --> 00:03:29,908
Don't bother me, Jimmy.
94
00:03:29,985 --> 00:03:32,244
I only have an hour
to grade these things.
95
00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:34,329
Thanks, Craig.
96
00:03:34,406 --> 00:03:35,705
Thanks for showing
your concern.
97
00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:37,290
What?
98
00:03:37,367 --> 00:03:40,844
No, I knew you sensed
my angst when I walked in.
99
00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:43,347
What if I'm not supposed to be
Magnum P.E., you know?
100
00:03:43,423 --> 00:03:44,848
What if I'm supposed
to be Magnum...
101
00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:45,849
something else?
102
00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:47,425
See, I feel you on that.
103
00:03:47,502 --> 00:03:49,219
I mean, look at me; I got one
foot in the music world,
104
00:03:49,296 --> 00:03:52,555
one foot in the teaching world,
and it's killing me.
105
00:03:52,632 --> 00:03:54,432
Right; see, I wish there was
like a test we could take
106
00:03:54,509 --> 00:03:55,809
that would tell us what we
should be doing with our lives.
107
00:03:55,885 --> 00:03:57,560
- Aptitude test.
- No, no.
108
00:03:57,571 --> 00:04:01,856
I took one of those.
Doctor put me on penicillin.
109
00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:02,908
Cleared it right up.
110
00:04:04,060 --> 00:04:07,404
Magnum, one.
Thailand, nothing.
111
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,531
No, Jimmy,
a career aptitude test.
112
00:04:09,607 --> 00:04:11,741
It tells you what you're
supposed to do in life.
113
00:04:11,818 --> 00:04:13,285
We're giving one
to the kids next week.
114
00:04:13,361 --> 00:04:14,378
- Look, it's on the computer.
- Really?
115
00:04:14,454 --> 00:04:15,954
Oh, man,
I gotta take that.
116
00:04:16,031 --> 00:04:18,373
So I've been mixing
my own body sanitizer
117
00:04:18,450 --> 00:04:19,874
and selling it
to the other strippers.
118
00:04:19,951 --> 00:04:21,042
They can't
get enough of it.
119
00:04:21,119 --> 00:04:22,919
I have been making
a 700% profit,
120
00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:24,838
and there hasn't
been a staph infection
121
00:04:24,914 --> 00:04:27,432
or pregnancy
in two weeks.
122
00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:30,885
Hey, Craig.
123
00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:32,387
Taylor is on a warpath.
124
00:04:32,464 --> 00:04:34,014
You can't keep
coming in late like this.
125
00:04:34,090 --> 00:04:36,400
Full-time teaching?
I don't know how you all do it.
126
00:04:36,476 --> 00:04:38,476
The bureaucracy,
the extra hours,
127
00:04:38,553 --> 00:04:39,894
the paperwork,
the parents.
128
00:04:39,905 --> 00:04:40,895
I don't know if
it's worth it.
129
00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:42,406
It's Friday, you know?
130
00:04:42,482 --> 00:04:44,408
All you have to do is make
it to Saturday and catch up.
131
00:04:44,484 --> 00:04:45,909
And if you need help,
we can help you.
132
00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:47,319
Thank you.
I do need your help.
133
00:04:47,395 --> 00:04:48,403
What can I do?
134
00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:49,538
Break up
with your boyfriend.
135
00:04:50,833 --> 00:04:52,032
No, Craig,
136
00:04:52,108 --> 00:04:53,917
but I do have an idea.
137
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:55,368
I have a friend in town
138
00:04:55,445 --> 00:04:56,786
and I told her how
good your band is,
139
00:04:56,863 --> 00:04:57,921
and I was thinking maybe
140
00:04:57,998 --> 00:04:59,789
we could come
watch you play tonight.
141
00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:00,924
I'm thinking about
cancelling tonight's gig.
142
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:02,917
Well, if you don't,
143
00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:05,503
I'll show you a boob.
144
00:05:05,580 --> 00:05:07,422
Show must go on.
145
00:05:07,433 --> 00:05:09,049
And there he is.
146
00:05:09,125 --> 00:05:10,508
(Victoria)
Jimmy Hooper,
147
00:05:10,585 --> 00:05:13,437
world-class boob.
148
00:05:13,513 --> 00:05:15,055
Homonyms.
149
00:05:15,131 --> 00:05:17,015
Hey, a deal's a deal.
150
00:05:17,092 --> 00:05:18,942
And Craig's gonna
buy us all drinks
151
00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:21,353
if you want
to join for happy hour.
152
00:05:21,363 --> 00:05:23,730
(Victoria)
So, how about it Ashleigh?
153
00:05:23,807 --> 00:05:25,449
- Happy hour?
- Hells yeah.
154
00:05:25,525 --> 00:05:27,776
Happy hour at
my other job sucks.
155
00:05:27,852 --> 00:05:29,819
I mean, there's just only
so many times you can watch
156
00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:33,782
Jenny Juggs ride a pogo stick.
157
00:05:33,858 --> 00:05:35,033
No, there's not.
158
00:05:35,110 --> 00:05:36,743
How about you, Eileen?
159
00:05:36,820 --> 00:05:37,827
No, I can't ride one.
160
00:05:37,904 --> 00:05:39,838
Not with this rack.
161
00:05:41,408 --> 00:05:42,415
And I really shouldn't.
162
00:05:42,492 --> 00:05:43,833
I think we need to keep our
163
00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:45,960
principal-teacher
boundaries in tact.
164
00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:47,754
I think that's
a good idea.
165
00:05:47,831 --> 00:05:50,924
But you will need
a designated driver,
166
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,801
so I'll go and be
the responsible one
167
00:05:52,877 --> 00:05:55,095
so everyone else can drink
all they want on Craig.
168
00:05:55,171 --> 00:05:57,013
[all cheer]
169
00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:58,982
You know, I never said that
I was gonna buy everybody--
170
00:05:59,059 --> 00:06:00,850
Yes!
I knew it.
171
00:06:00,927 --> 00:06:02,986
Hey, Craig, that test
is exactly like crack, man.
172
00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:05,397
You got to try it.
173
00:06:05,473 --> 00:06:08,108
My whole life is completely
clear to me right now.
174
00:06:08,184 --> 00:06:10,735
I'm an artist.
175
00:06:10,812 --> 00:06:14,864
More specifically, it said that
I should be a film director.
176
00:06:14,941 --> 00:06:16,366
Magnum Scorsese.
177
00:06:16,443 --> 00:06:17,951
No, no.
Better, better--
178
00:06:18,027 --> 00:06:19,786
Woody Magnum.
179
00:06:19,863 --> 00:06:21,746
Cut! Action! Print!
180
00:06:21,823 --> 00:06:22,747
Oscar!
181
00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:23,840
Cocaine!
182
00:06:29,705 --> 00:06:29,779
.
183
00:06:31,082 --> 00:06:31,589
Thank you for talking
to my class, Kelly.
184
00:06:31,666 --> 00:06:33,041
No worries.
185
00:06:33,117 --> 00:06:34,634
I'm sorry if my accent
was a little distracting.
186
00:06:34,711 --> 00:06:36,594
No, I'm sorry that they
thought you were a waitress
187
00:06:36,671 --> 00:06:37,720
from the Outback Steakhouse.
188
00:06:37,797 --> 00:06:39,523
[laughs]
189
00:06:39,599 --> 00:06:41,266
Hey, are we still seeing your
friend's band play tonight?
190
00:06:41,342 --> 00:06:42,684
Absolutely.
191
00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:44,269
Actually, this is
his class right here.
192
00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:46,020
Oh.
193
00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:47,981
That's 4/4 time.
194
00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:49,274
(Craig)
Also known as
195
00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:50,525
common time.
196
00:06:50,602 --> 00:06:51,801
I don't know what it is,
197
00:06:51,878 --> 00:06:54,571
but there is just
something about musicians.
198
00:06:54,647 --> 00:06:56,698
And magicians.
199
00:06:56,774 --> 00:06:59,033
Did you ever get
anything going with him?
200
00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:01,494
[scoffs]
I have a boyfriend.
201
00:07:01,571 --> 00:07:02,620
That was not a "no."
202
00:07:02,697 --> 00:07:04,965
[laughs]
No.
203
00:07:07,202 --> 00:07:10,128
Magicians?
204
00:07:10,205 --> 00:07:11,296
[all, beating on desks]
Hey.
205
00:07:11,372 --> 00:07:12,630
- There are two ladies.
(all) What?
206
00:07:12,707 --> 00:07:13,715
- They in the window.
(all) Yup.
207
00:07:13,791 --> 00:07:14,716
(Deandre)
It's Miss Wavers
208
00:07:14,792 --> 00:07:16,217
and another.
209
00:07:16,294 --> 00:07:17,969
(Deandre)
I think they like a brother.
210
00:07:18,046 --> 00:07:21,064
Mr. C, this is your chance
to finally tap that--
211
00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:23,016
Hey, hey, whoa.
212
00:07:23,092 --> 00:07:24,568
You need to calm
your little ass down.
213
00:07:25,770 --> 00:07:27,103
I am calm.
214
00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:28,572
You need to handle
your business.
215
00:07:32,578 --> 00:07:33,651
Hello, ladies.
216
00:07:33,728 --> 00:07:36,279
Craig, this is
my friend Kelly.
217
00:07:36,356 --> 00:07:37,956
Hello, Kelly.
218
00:07:38,033 --> 00:07:40,325
You're not into magic,
are you, Craig?
219
00:07:40,401 --> 00:07:43,995
[laughs]
220
00:07:44,072 --> 00:07:45,580
Is this your card?
221
00:07:45,591 --> 00:07:49,584
[both chuckle]
222
00:07:49,595 --> 00:07:51,136
See you all tonight.
223
00:07:53,414 --> 00:07:54,372
[sighs]
224
00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:56,216
Okay, where did we leave off?
225
00:07:56,292 --> 00:07:58,301
You were trying to get some.
226
00:07:58,378 --> 00:07:59,719
You're about to get some.
227
00:07:59,796 --> 00:08:01,554
Detention.
228
00:08:01,631 --> 00:08:02,680
Halle?
229
00:08:02,757 --> 00:08:04,483
- 4/4 time.
- 4/4 time, yes.
230
00:08:04,559 --> 00:08:07,685
Also known as common time,
is simply a time signature
231
00:08:07,762 --> 00:08:09,729
indicating that there are
four beats in each bar.
232
00:08:09,806 --> 00:08:11,272
Here, do this with me.
233
00:08:11,283 --> 00:08:13,525
[tapping rhythmically]
One, two, three, four.
234
00:08:13,601 --> 00:08:16,778
[tapping rhythmically]
235
00:08:16,854 --> 00:08:19,322
Faster.
[tapping faster]
236
00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:20,532
Faster!
[tapping faster]
237
00:08:20,608 --> 00:08:22,534
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
238
00:08:22,610 --> 00:08:24,118
Hey, I said stop!
239
00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:25,653
What's wrong with you all?
240
00:08:25,655 --> 00:08:27,205
We're just having fun.
Lighten up, Mr. C.
241
00:08:27,282 --> 00:08:28,548
Lighten up?
242
00:08:28,625 --> 00:08:30,250
I'm trying to teach
you something.
243
00:08:30,326 --> 00:08:32,335
Well, maybe we don't feel
like learning today.
244
00:08:32,412 --> 00:08:34,629
Maybe I don't feel
like teaching today.
245
00:08:34,706 --> 00:08:36,214
Good, so we on the same page.
246
00:08:36,291 --> 00:08:38,550
[class laughs]
247
00:08:38,626 --> 00:08:40,802
You know what?
248
00:08:40,878 --> 00:08:42,303
I've got enough on my plate.
249
00:08:42,380 --> 00:08:43,721
Hey, where are
you going?
250
00:08:43,798 --> 00:08:45,306
Finish grading these
test papers.
251
00:08:45,383 --> 00:08:47,725
By the way, I'm pretty sure
you all failed.
252
00:08:47,802 --> 00:08:49,152
[laughs mockingly]
253
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:52,814
¶ ¶
254
00:08:52,890 --> 00:08:54,157
What's with the suit?
255
00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:55,567
Oh, thank you.
256
00:08:55,643 --> 00:08:58,111
This is my
Wes Magnum Anderson vibe.
257
00:08:58,187 --> 00:08:59,287
Jimmy, what are we doing?
258
00:08:59,364 --> 00:09:01,823
We are on our
hero's journey, Craig.
259
00:09:01,899 --> 00:09:03,658
Don't refuse the call.
260
00:09:03,669 --> 00:09:06,044
The only call I'm gonna refuse
from now on is yours.
261
00:09:06,121 --> 00:09:07,787
Look, I needed your truck, okay,
262
00:09:07,864 --> 00:09:09,289
to follow my passion.
263
00:09:09,365 --> 00:09:11,165
You can't follow
your passion in your car?
264
00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:13,835
You can't follow your passion
and drive a stick.
265
00:09:13,911 --> 00:09:15,336
Man, I gotta tell you, Craig,
266
00:09:15,413 --> 00:09:16,796
being an artist,
267
00:09:16,873 --> 00:09:18,848
it's so freeing.
268
00:09:18,925 --> 00:09:21,175
I feel like I've taken off
the underwear of life.
269
00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:23,595
I might never give it up.
270
00:09:23,671 --> 00:09:24,679
Right here, pull over.
271
00:09:24,756 --> 00:09:26,264
[brakes squeal]
272
00:09:26,341 --> 00:09:28,182
Aloha!
273
00:09:28,259 --> 00:09:29,818
I'm looking for
a couple interns
274
00:09:29,894 --> 00:09:32,696
interested in an upwardly mobile
career in the movie industry
275
00:09:32,772 --> 00:09:34,856
with Magnum Films.
276
00:09:34,932 --> 00:09:37,200
No nudity.
277
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:38,818
I'm not with him.
278
00:09:38,895 --> 00:09:40,278
Dos interns.
279
00:09:40,355 --> 00:09:41,654
Come on.
Take a chance, guys.
280
00:09:41,731 --> 00:09:43,615
I'll give you
a piece of my back end.
281
00:09:43,691 --> 00:09:44,866
I need dos.
282
00:09:44,942 --> 00:09:46,284
- Dos?
- Yeah, yeah, dos.
283
00:09:46,361 --> 00:09:47,335
Jump in the back.
284
00:09:48,655 --> 00:09:50,204
[Jimmy laughing]
285
00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:52,206
We're gonna make history,
albondigas.
286
00:09:52,217 --> 00:09:55,302
[speaking Spanish]
287
00:10:02,877 --> 00:10:04,218
Craig.
288
00:10:04,295 --> 00:10:05,312
Andalé!
289
00:10:14,705 --> 00:10:14,779
.
290
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:16,681
I can't wait
to hear you play.
291
00:10:16,758 --> 00:10:18,408
I can't wait to
have you hear me play.
292
00:10:19,560 --> 00:10:21,152
PT,
you made it.
293
00:10:21,229 --> 00:10:22,403
Better make
that five, Curly.
294
00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:23,997
(Taylor)
Better take it easy.
295
00:10:24,074 --> 00:10:26,407
I just heard there's a
mandatory meeting in the morning
296
00:10:26,484 --> 00:10:27,909
with department heads,
297
00:10:27,919 --> 00:10:29,377
and that means you,
Mr. Robinson.
298
00:10:29,454 --> 00:10:30,495
What?
299
00:10:30,571 --> 00:10:32,163
No.
Tomorrow's Saturday.
300
00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:33,748
I gotta sleep.
301
00:10:33,759 --> 00:10:36,209
I have to catch up.
I can't.
302
00:10:36,285 --> 00:10:37,802
I refill my sex sauce.
303
00:10:38,996 --> 00:10:40,505
It's Shabbat.
304
00:10:40,581 --> 00:10:42,507
Well, it's out of my hands.
305
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:45,093
And you, down my throat.
306
00:10:45,169 --> 00:10:46,552
It's okay, Craig,
we'll help you catch up.
307
00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:48,930
Until then,
I will order you a double.
308
00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:50,815
Saturday.
309
00:10:53,052 --> 00:10:54,477
Right.
310
00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:56,521
Say it again, just be a little
more empathetic.
311
00:10:56,597 --> 00:10:57,772
Okay? Action.
312
00:10:57,783 --> 00:10:58,856
Jimmy,
what are you doing?
313
00:10:58,933 --> 00:11:00,983
Oh, man, you broke
the fourth wall.
314
00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:03,027
I'm shooting a documentary.
315
00:11:03,104 --> 00:11:05,780
I'm calling it Afro-Desiac:
316
00:11:05,791 --> 00:11:07,490
The Craig Robinson Story.
317
00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:09,033
One man.
318
00:11:09,110 --> 00:11:10,785
Two jobs.
319
00:11:10,796 --> 00:11:12,787
Partial nudity.
320
00:11:12,798 --> 00:11:14,038
You're not making
a movie about me.
321
00:11:14,049 --> 00:11:14,997
You are right.
322
00:11:15,074 --> 00:11:15,998
I'm making a film.
323
00:11:16,075 --> 00:11:17,750
I need more light, guys.
324
00:11:17,827 --> 00:11:20,178
Remember my lighting and sound
interns, Gustavo and Juan?
325
00:11:21,831 --> 00:11:24,808
[speaking Spanish]
326
00:11:28,888 --> 00:11:30,330
(Jimmy)
Let me set the stage
for you, okay?
327
00:11:30,406 --> 00:11:32,140
You've got to make a decision
between your two loves.
328
00:11:32,216 --> 00:11:33,108
All right?
329
00:11:33,184 --> 00:11:34,976
Teaching.
330
00:11:35,052 --> 00:11:37,478
She's like a beautiful woman,
but she'll tire you out.
331
00:11:37,555 --> 00:11:38,938
Music.
332
00:11:39,015 --> 00:11:41,065
She's a little more homely,
333
00:11:41,142 --> 00:11:43,651
but she'll let you
do stuff to her.
334
00:11:43,728 --> 00:11:45,153
A choice must be made.
335
00:11:45,229 --> 00:11:47,113
Okay, now.
Go be you.
336
00:11:47,124 --> 00:11:48,489
I've got to get
some B-roll stuff.
337
00:11:48,566 --> 00:11:51,242
I need ambiance guys,
come on.
338
00:11:51,253 --> 00:11:53,077
This crowd is
really pumped for us tonight.
339
00:11:53,154 --> 00:11:54,746
Good.
340
00:11:54,748 --> 00:11:56,748
I need to play for a crowd
that appreciates me.
341
00:11:56,758 --> 00:11:58,082
Us.
I said, "us."
342
00:11:58,093 --> 00:12:00,293
I mean,
look at this place, man.
343
00:12:00,369 --> 00:12:04,172
Ladies, cocktails,
sex, and funk.
344
00:12:04,248 --> 00:12:05,298
You know?
345
00:12:05,374 --> 00:12:07,008
No paper pushing,
346
00:12:07,084 --> 00:12:08,968
no--
no grading tests,
347
00:12:09,045 --> 00:12:10,178
no Saturday meetings.
348
00:12:10,254 --> 00:12:11,763
I hear you,
big brother.
349
00:12:11,839 --> 00:12:12,981
- Nasty.
- Nasty.
350
00:12:13,057 --> 00:12:14,974
I'll see you up there.
[claps]
351
00:12:15,051 --> 00:12:18,186
Okay.
What should we toast to?
352
00:12:18,262 --> 00:12:19,937
To being happy.
353
00:12:20,014 --> 00:12:21,865
(all)
Being happy.
354
00:12:23,285 --> 00:12:25,526
Let's go again.
355
00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:27,069
Wait, I thought
you said
356
00:12:27,146 --> 00:12:29,030
that you were going to be
the designated driver.
357
00:12:29,106 --> 00:12:30,323
What are you,
a cop?
358
00:12:30,399 --> 00:12:32,533
Yeah,
atta boy, Curly.
359
00:12:32,610 --> 00:12:34,786
Hey, he's cute.
360
00:12:34,862 --> 00:12:36,329
Hey, you!
Ponytail boy.
361
00:12:36,405 --> 00:12:39,957
You ever choke anybody
with that thing?
362
00:12:40,034 --> 00:12:41,751
She's like a gremlin.
363
00:12:41,828 --> 00:12:44,554
You just add liquor
and she goes crazy.
364
00:12:46,833 --> 00:12:48,558
Aren't you a short
drink of water.
365
00:12:49,836 --> 00:12:52,303
Aren't you
a well-aged scotch.
366
00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:54,055
[laughs]
367
00:12:54,065 --> 00:12:55,565
I'll see you after my set?
368
00:13:00,263 --> 00:13:01,562
I'll go get her.
369
00:13:01,639 --> 00:13:02,897
Since when is the stripper
370
00:13:02,908 --> 00:13:06,025
the most responsible one
at the party? Hmm?
371
00:13:06,102 --> 00:13:07,819
You all look like
a sexy crowd.
372
00:13:07,895 --> 00:13:08,903
I wonder...
373
00:13:08,980 --> 00:13:10,905
[cheering]
374
00:13:10,916 --> 00:13:12,865
just how nasty you all
can get with us.
375
00:13:12,942 --> 00:13:14,075
You all want to
get nasty with us?
376
00:13:14,151 --> 00:13:15,468
[cheers and applause]
377
00:13:15,544 --> 00:13:17,328
I said, "Do you all want to get
nasty with us?"
378
00:13:17,405 --> 00:13:19,038
[all cheering]
379
00:13:19,115 --> 00:13:20,715
Well, all right.
380
00:13:20,792 --> 00:13:23,167
In that case, this here
is a very sexy song
381
00:13:23,244 --> 00:13:27,046
for a very sexy lady who came
out here to watch me.
382
00:13:27,123 --> 00:13:30,132
God, I wish he would stop
embarrassing me like this.
383
00:13:30,209 --> 00:13:31,267
Her name is Kelly.
384
00:13:32,879 --> 00:13:34,262
Wish granted.
385
00:13:34,338 --> 00:13:36,806
[funky music]
¶ To make you my girl ¶
386
00:13:36,883 --> 00:13:39,058
¶ Was my mission ¶
387
00:13:39,135 --> 00:13:41,269
¶ Take me from friction
to ignition ¶
388
00:13:41,345 --> 00:13:42,895
¶ Well ¶
389
00:13:42,972 --> 00:13:45,815
¶ All dressed in your
sexy attire ¶
390
00:13:45,892 --> 00:13:47,775
¶ Stop, drop, and roll, baby ¶
391
00:13:47,852 --> 00:13:49,828
(all)
¶ Stop, drop, and roll ¶
392
00:13:49,904 --> 00:13:51,112
¶ You're on fire ¶
393
00:13:51,188 --> 00:13:52,956
¶ ¶
394
00:13:53,032 --> 00:13:54,198
Hmm, hmm, hmm.
395
00:13:54,209 --> 00:13:56,117
(all)
¶ Stop, drop, and roll ¶
396
00:13:56,193 --> 00:13:57,827
¶ You're on fire ¶
397
00:13:57,904 --> 00:13:59,245
¶ Mmm, baby, you're on fire ¶
398
00:13:59,322 --> 00:14:00,788
Yo, B,
399
00:14:00,865 --> 00:14:02,131
tell her what
I'm talking about.
400
00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:03,875
¶ You put me in a trance ¶
401
00:14:03,951 --> 00:14:05,793
¶ In asbestos underpants ¶
402
00:14:05,870 --> 00:14:07,128
¶ With you I do conspire ¶
403
00:14:07,204 --> 00:14:09,046
¶ Burn rubber on my tires ¶
404
00:14:09,123 --> 00:14:10,223
¶ You bring out all my passion ¶
405
00:14:10,300 --> 00:14:12,174
¶ In acrobatic fashion ¶
406
00:14:12,251 --> 00:14:13,843
¶ Your fire burns so strong ¶
407
00:14:13,854 --> 00:14:15,303
¶ I'll funk you all night long ¶
408
00:14:15,379 --> 00:14:16,804
¶ Yeah ¶
409
00:14:16,881 --> 00:14:18,139
(Craig)
¶ Mmm, yeah, yeah ¶
410
00:14:18,215 --> 00:14:19,223
¶ Yeah, yeah ¶
411
00:14:19,234 --> 00:14:20,808
¶ Yeah, yeah, yeah ¶
412
00:14:20,885 --> 00:14:22,184
(all)
¶ Stop, drop, and roll ¶
413
00:14:22,261 --> 00:14:24,854
¶ Use me to put out your fire ¶
414
00:14:24,931 --> 00:14:27,156
¶ Use me to put out
your fire ¶
415
00:14:27,233 --> 00:14:29,150
(all)
¶ Stop, drop, and roll ¶
416
00:14:29,226 --> 00:14:31,819
(all)
¶ Roll, roll ¶
417
00:14:31,896 --> 00:14:34,873
[cheers and applause]
418
00:14:37,318 --> 00:14:41,170
Oh, my.
I think I just got funked.
419
00:14:41,247 --> 00:14:42,755
- See, now I'm happy.
- Mm-hmm.
420
00:14:42,832 --> 00:14:44,165
I think we should
do this every night.
421
00:14:44,241 --> 00:14:45,082
Seriously?
422
00:14:45,159 --> 00:14:46,175
Aw, hell yeah.
423
00:14:46,252 --> 00:14:48,878
Great.
424
00:14:48,955 --> 00:14:49,879
Hey, everybody.
425
00:14:49,956 --> 00:14:51,172
(Craig)
I really enjoy
426
00:14:51,248 --> 00:14:53,341
working with you all,
427
00:14:53,417 --> 00:14:55,343
but I made a decision.
428
00:14:55,419 --> 00:14:57,303
And that decision is,
429
00:14:57,380 --> 00:14:59,013
I'm gonna play music full-time.
430
00:14:59,024 --> 00:15:00,014
Yes!
431
00:15:00,091 --> 00:15:03,100
[cheers and applause]
432
00:15:03,177 --> 00:15:05,853
There will be a lot more
Nasty Delicious, baby.
433
00:15:05,930 --> 00:15:07,188
Curly, thank you so much.
434
00:15:07,264 --> 00:15:08,940
We are the Nasty Delicious,
435
00:15:09,016 --> 00:15:10,858
your new full-time house band.
436
00:15:10,935 --> 00:15:13,912
[cheers and applause]
437
00:15:18,542 --> 00:15:18,616
.
438
00:15:19,761 --> 00:15:20,685
Hey, what are we
gonna do about this?
439
00:15:20,762 --> 00:15:22,203
(Victoria)
Craig can't just quit.
440
00:15:22,279 --> 00:15:24,213
I am with you,
but we've got other problems.
441
00:15:24,290 --> 00:15:26,332
I haven't seen Principal Taylor
in 45 minutes.
442
00:15:26,409 --> 00:15:28,501
She could be on fire,
for all we know.
443
00:15:28,577 --> 00:15:30,803
Yeah, well, and it looks
like Craig is starting one.
444
00:15:32,057 --> 00:15:34,173
- Yeah.
- Yeah, okay,
445
00:15:34,250 --> 00:15:37,051
I'll take care of Craig;
you look for Principal Taylor.
446
00:15:37,128 --> 00:15:38,811
[snaps]
Okay.
447
00:15:45,770 --> 00:15:46,852
You can't just
walk away like this.
448
00:15:46,929 --> 00:15:48,354
What are you doing?
449
00:15:48,431 --> 00:15:51,190
Enjoying the benefits of
a rock and roll lifestyle.
450
00:15:51,201 --> 00:15:52,233
Okay.
451
00:15:52,309 --> 00:15:54,110
Okay, we need to talk.
452
00:15:54,186 --> 00:15:56,070
Kelly, could you
just give us a second?
453
00:15:56,081 --> 00:15:57,446
- Of course.
- No, no, no.
454
00:15:57,523 --> 00:15:58,706
We don't need to talk,
Victoria.
455
00:15:58,783 --> 00:16:00,366
I made my decision.
456
00:16:00,443 --> 00:16:03,160
Craig, you're just having a
really tough time, you know?
457
00:16:03,237 --> 00:16:04,479
We all go through it.
458
00:16:04,555 --> 00:16:07,123
Just stick it out.
I want to be there for you.
459
00:16:07,199 --> 00:16:09,041
Victoria, I love teaching,
okay?
460
00:16:09,118 --> 00:16:10,751
It's the other nonsense
I can't deal with.
461
00:16:10,828 --> 00:16:12,086
That's what
I'm walking away from.
462
00:16:12,097 --> 00:16:13,221
No.
463
00:16:13,297 --> 00:16:14,380
You're walking away
from your kids.
464
00:16:14,457 --> 00:16:15,423
(Craig)
They don't care.
465
00:16:15,499 --> 00:16:17,091
I doubt they'll even notice.
466
00:16:17,168 --> 00:16:19,310
Fine.
467
00:16:24,258 --> 00:16:25,182
So we doing this?
468
00:16:25,259 --> 00:16:26,851
You know it,
big boy.
469
00:16:26,927 --> 00:16:31,239
I'm gonna climb you
like Kilimanjaro.
470
00:16:31,315 --> 00:16:34,325
Good. I want to show
you my base camp.
471
00:16:45,329 --> 00:16:47,538
What's up, shorty?
472
00:16:47,615 --> 00:16:49,165
You know what they say.
473
00:16:49,241 --> 00:16:53,261
Once you go white,
you're gonna be a'ight.
474
00:16:53,337 --> 00:16:54,462
- You all say that too?
- Uh-huh.
475
00:16:54,538 --> 00:16:56,047
Well, come on and
buy me something.
476
00:16:56,123 --> 00:16:57,214
All right.
477
00:16:57,291 --> 00:16:58,507
Okay, okay.
That's enough.
478
00:16:58,584 --> 00:16:59,550
It's time to go bye-bye.
479
00:16:59,627 --> 00:17:01,594
No, but I love him.
480
00:17:01,670 --> 00:17:03,179
Come on, Ash.
481
00:17:03,255 --> 00:17:04,805
Look, I promise to have her
home, all right?
482
00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:07,099
Trust me, I'm saving
two lives tonight.
483
00:17:07,176 --> 00:17:09,861
[grunts]
484
00:17:13,357 --> 00:17:15,608
Oh, it's a numbers game.
485
00:17:15,684 --> 00:17:16,567
[glass clinks]
486
00:17:16,644 --> 00:17:18,027
Hey, yo, Michelle!
487
00:17:18,104 --> 00:17:21,372
¶ ¶
488
00:17:24,151 --> 00:17:25,326
(Deandre on screen)
Come on, y'all.
489
00:17:25,402 --> 00:17:26,810
I know it's Saturday,
490
00:17:26,888 --> 00:17:28,829
but we gotta get this right
for Mr. C.
491
00:17:28,906 --> 00:17:30,039
4/4 time.
492
00:17:30,116 --> 00:17:32,041
One, two, three.
493
00:17:32,118 --> 00:17:34,085
[tapping rhythmically]
¶ Doh ¶
494
00:17:34,161 --> 00:17:35,303
[Mark Ronson's Uptown Funk]
¶ Doh, doh, doh ¶
495
00:17:35,379 --> 00:17:37,171
¶ Doh, doh, doh
Doh, doh ¶
496
00:17:37,248 --> 00:17:38,347
[tapping rhythmically]
497
00:17:38,424 --> 00:17:39,507
¶ Doh, doh, doh ¶
498
00:17:39,583 --> 00:17:41,467
¶ Doh, doh, doh
Doh, doh ¶
499
00:17:41,544 --> 00:17:43,385
[Craig speaking indistinctly]
- ¶ Doh, doh, doh ¶
500
00:17:43,462 --> 00:17:46,472
¶ Doh, doh, doh
Doh, doh ¶
501
00:17:46,549 --> 00:17:47,640
[clapping, yelling]
¶ Doh, doh, doh ¶
502
00:17:47,716 --> 00:17:49,600
¶ Doh, doh, doh
Doh, doh ¶
503
00:17:49,677 --> 00:17:52,612
¶ Stay with me ¶
504
00:17:52,688 --> 00:17:53,646
¶ 'Cause you're ¶
505
00:17:53,722 --> 00:17:56,824
¶ All I need ¶
506
00:17:56,901 --> 00:18:01,028
¶ This ain't love,
it's clear to see ¶
507
00:18:01,105 --> 00:18:02,121
¶ Oh, won't you ¶
508
00:18:02,198 --> 00:18:06,450
¶ Stay with me ¶
509
00:18:06,527 --> 00:18:07,618
Come on, Mr. C.
510
00:18:07,695 --> 00:18:09,453
You gotta handle your business.
511
00:18:09,530 --> 00:18:11,455
[whoosh]
512
00:18:11,532 --> 00:18:13,299
[ding]
513
00:18:16,453 --> 00:18:17,378
That wasn't fair.
514
00:18:17,454 --> 00:18:18,504
Neither is your quitting.
515
00:18:18,581 --> 00:18:20,089
How'd you get
the kids to do this?
516
00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:21,257
They wanted to do it.
517
00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:24,426
They gave up
their Saturday for you.
518
00:18:24,503 --> 00:18:27,054
Just wanted you to see
what you were giving up.
519
00:18:27,131 --> 00:18:28,514
Hopefully
you reconsider.
520
00:18:28,591 --> 00:18:30,391
I don't think anyone's
ready to see you go.
521
00:18:30,467 --> 00:18:31,559
Including you?
522
00:18:31,635 --> 00:18:34,603
[sighs]
523
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:35,905
Including me.
524
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:41,068
Show me your boob,
I'll think about it.
525
00:18:41,145 --> 00:18:43,412
I think that you've seen
enough boobs this weekend.
526
00:18:47,535 --> 00:18:49,168
You know,
527
00:18:49,245 --> 00:18:52,255
only people with boobs
think you can see enough boobs.
528
00:18:58,329 --> 00:19:02,590
¶ ¶
529
00:19:02,666 --> 00:19:04,091
Good morning.
530
00:19:04,168 --> 00:19:07,219
(all)
Good morning, Mr. Robinson.
531
00:19:07,296 --> 00:19:08,354
Hey.
532
00:19:09,473 --> 00:19:11,223
Deandre.
533
00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:14,226
I'm sorry for wasting your
valuable class time.
534
00:19:14,303 --> 00:19:15,519
We all are.
535
00:19:15,596 --> 00:19:17,146
Thank you for staying with us.
536
00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:18,698
Thank you for the video.
537
00:19:20,351 --> 00:19:21,650
All right,
now that we got that behind us,
538
00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:22,651
where did we leave off?
539
00:19:22,728 --> 00:19:24,612
One, two, three.
540
00:19:24,688 --> 00:19:27,531
[tapping rhythmically]
¶ Doh, doh, doh ¶
541
00:19:27,542 --> 00:19:30,293
¶ Doh, doh, doh,
Doh, doh ¶
542
00:19:30,369 --> 00:19:31,419
¶ Doh, doh, doh ¶
543
00:19:31,495 --> 00:19:32,661
¶ Doh, doh, doh,
Doh, doh ¶
544
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:35,122
¶ This hit,
that white gold ¶
545
00:19:35,199 --> 00:19:37,291
¶ Michelle Pfeiffer,
that white gold ¶
546
00:19:37,368 --> 00:19:39,084
¶ This one for them hood girls ¶
547
00:19:39,161 --> 00:19:41,128
¶ Them good girls,
straight masterpieces ¶
548
00:19:41,205 --> 00:19:42,630
- ¶ Too hot ¶
- ¶ Hot damn ¶
549
00:19:42,706 --> 00:19:45,099
¶ Called a police
and a fireman ¶
550
00:19:45,176 --> 00:19:46,592
- ¶ Too hot ¶
- ¶ Hot damn ¶
551
00:19:46,669 --> 00:19:49,103
¶ Make a dragon
wanna retire, man ¶
552
00:19:49,180 --> 00:19:50,638
- ¶ Too hot ¶
- ¶ Hot damn ¶
553
00:19:50,714 --> 00:19:52,223
¶ Say my name,
you know who I am ¶
554
00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:54,225
- ¶ Too hot ¶
- ¶ Hot damn ¶
555
00:19:54,301 --> 00:19:55,434
¶ And I'm bad 'bout that money ¶
556
00:19:55,511 --> 00:19:57,186
¶ Break it down ¶
557
00:19:57,263 --> 00:19:58,646
- ¶ Girls hit your hallelujah ¶
- ¶ Whoo ¶
558
00:19:58,722 --> 00:20:00,323
- ¶ Guys hit your hallelujah ¶
- ¶ Whoo ¶
559
00:20:00,399 --> 00:20:02,483
- ¶ Everyone hallelujah ¶
- ¶ Whoo ¶
560
00:20:02,559 --> 00:20:04,485
¶ 'Cause uptown funk
gon' give it to you ¶
561
00:20:04,561 --> 00:20:06,320
(all)
¶ 'Cause uptown funk
gon' give it to you ¶
562
00:20:06,397 --> 00:20:08,331
¶ 'Cause uptown funk
gon' give it to you ¶
563
00:20:08,407 --> 00:20:10,208
¶ Saturday night
and we in the spot ¶
564
00:20:10,284 --> 00:20:11,325
¶ Don't believe me just watch ¶
565
00:20:11,402 --> 00:20:13,077
(all)
Whoo!
566
00:20:13,087 --> 00:20:14,328
Now that's 4/4 time
right there.
567
00:20:14,339 --> 00:20:15,329
[funky music]
Come on, bring it in.
568
00:20:15,406 --> 00:20:16,672
- Bring it in
- Yeah.
569
00:20:22,246 --> 00:20:23,554
(Craig)
My sex sauce.
43420
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