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00:00:02,302 --> 00:00:02,334
.
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00:00:02,535 --> 00:00:02,609
.
3
00:00:05,822 --> 00:00:07,372
Craig, this place is more packed
4
00:00:07,449 --> 00:00:09,207
than a Wal-Mart on Black Friday.
5
00:00:09,284 --> 00:00:10,625
(Craig)
Because, little brother,
6
00:00:10,702 --> 00:00:13,336
I sent out hundreds
of demos and invitations
7
00:00:13,413 --> 00:00:15,422
to talent scouts
and A&R guys.
8
00:00:15,499 --> 00:00:17,391
I'm getting us
a damn record deal.
9
00:00:17,468 --> 00:00:19,342
So you're telling me all these
people are record executives?
10
00:00:19,419 --> 00:00:20,644
I also sent out
free drink coupons
11
00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:22,345
to everybody on
our mailing list,
12
00:00:22,422 --> 00:00:25,766
so most of these people are
freeloaders and alcoholics.
13
00:00:25,842 --> 00:00:27,601
So, what, any A&R guys show up?
14
00:00:27,677 --> 00:00:29,653
One.
15
00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:30,771
The man.
16
00:00:30,781 --> 00:00:33,157
The rock legend.
17
00:00:33,233 --> 00:00:34,649
Neville Rex.
18
00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:36,193
You got Neville Rex here?
19
00:00:36,269 --> 00:00:38,370
That dude got his own
brand of methadone.
20
00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:41,165
(Craig)
Yes, sir.
21
00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:43,533
And he owns his own label.
22
00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:46,203
I'm gonna get him to sign the
Nasty Delicious if it kills me.
23
00:00:46,279 --> 00:00:47,412
Well, I hope you die.
24
00:00:47,489 --> 00:00:48,413
Let's get this deal?
25
00:00:48,490 --> 00:00:49,548
Let's do it.
26
00:00:49,625 --> 00:00:51,550
This is a little song called
27
00:00:51,627 --> 00:00:54,762
Object of My Affection.
28
00:00:56,832 --> 00:01:00,717
¶ Layin' in my bed at night ¶
29
00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:02,719
¶ The candles lit ¶
30
00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:05,847
¶ It feels so right ¶
31
00:01:05,924 --> 00:01:08,600
¶ My eyes meet yours ¶
32
00:01:08,611 --> 00:01:10,694
¶ In this perfect space ¶
33
00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:14,189
¶ I'm totally aroused ¶
34
00:01:14,266 --> 00:01:18,235
¶ By my own face ¶
35
00:01:18,311 --> 00:01:20,403
- ¶ I got a mirror ¶
- ¶ Mirror ¶
36
00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:22,072
¶ On my ceiling, baby ¶
37
00:01:22,149 --> 00:01:24,074
- ¶ I got a mirror ¶
- ¶ Mirror ¶
38
00:01:24,151 --> 00:01:25,826
¶ I give a little wave ¶
39
00:01:25,902 --> 00:01:27,711
- ¶ I got a mirror ¶
- ¶ Mirror ¶
40
00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:29,579
¶ I might misbehave ¶
41
00:01:29,656 --> 00:01:31,665
- ¶ I got a mirror ¶
- ¶ Mirror ¶
42
00:01:31,741 --> 00:01:33,750
¶ I think I need a shave ¶
43
00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:35,794
You know, mirror,
when I look at you,
44
00:01:35,871 --> 00:01:38,097
looking at me
looking at you,
45
00:01:38,173 --> 00:01:41,225
I see someone who looks
a lot like myself
46
00:01:41,301 --> 00:01:43,560
who is also left-handed.
47
00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:45,395
¶ Mirror, mirror,
on the ceiling ¶
48
00:01:45,472 --> 00:01:47,389
¶ I see you,
I get a happy feeling ¶
49
00:01:47,465 --> 00:01:49,099
¶ Might be narcissism,
I admit ¶
50
00:01:49,176 --> 00:01:50,600
¶ 'Cause laying down
I look really fit ¶
51
00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:52,727
- ¶ I got a mirror ¶
- ¶ Mirror ¶
52
00:01:52,804 --> 00:01:54,479
¶ On my ceiling, baby ¶
53
00:01:54,556 --> 00:01:56,439
- ¶ I got a mirror ¶
- ¶ Mirror ¶
54
00:01:56,516 --> 00:01:58,441
¶ I think I need a shave ¶
55
00:01:58,518 --> 00:02:00,360
(all)
¶ Oh ¶
56
00:02:00,371 --> 00:02:02,371
¶ Oh ¶
57
00:02:02,447 --> 00:02:04,123
¶ Oh ¶
58
00:02:04,199 --> 00:02:05,574
¶ Oh ¶
59
00:02:05,650 --> 00:02:07,534
- ¶ I got a mirror ¶
- ¶ Mirror ¶
60
00:02:07,611 --> 00:02:10,754
[cheers and applause]
61
00:02:19,789 --> 00:02:20,714
Neville Rex,
62
00:02:20,790 --> 00:02:22,266
it's amazing to meet you.
63
00:02:22,342 --> 00:02:23,466
I'm Craig Robinson--
64
00:02:23,543 --> 00:02:24,768
high school
music teacher by day,
65
00:02:24,845 --> 00:02:26,469
funk master by night.
66
00:02:26,546 --> 00:02:30,682
Kind of like if Bootsy Collins
could give you detention.
67
00:02:30,759 --> 00:02:32,225
A schoolteacher, eh?
68
00:02:32,302 --> 00:02:35,779
Well, that explains this, then.
69
00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:38,899
You sent the invites
on high school stationary?
70
00:02:38,975 --> 00:02:40,192
Had to, B.
71
00:02:40,268 --> 00:02:41,860
Free postage.
72
00:02:41,937 --> 00:02:43,528
I think it's great
that you're helping
73
00:02:43,605 --> 00:02:44,821
shape the youth of America
74
00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:46,698
just like I do with my music.
75
00:02:46,775 --> 00:02:50,493
My multi-platinum hit,
Kiss Me, Spank Me, Love Me,
76
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:53,797
inspired an entire generation.
77
00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:56,300
Record deal.
78
00:02:56,376 --> 00:02:59,169
- What are you doing?
- Subliminal messaging.
79
00:02:59,246 --> 00:03:00,804
Uh, maybe we can
help each other out.
80
00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:04,883
I've got some court-ordered
community service to do.
81
00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:06,885
Evidently, your police
82
00:03:06,962 --> 00:03:09,679
frown upon public
displays of affection
83
00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:11,815
between a man,
a prostitute,
84
00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:14,818
a little person,
and a mime--
85
00:03:14,895 --> 00:03:17,196
who's also a prostitute.
86
00:03:17,272 --> 00:03:19,656
And a little person.
87
00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:22,859
I want to be
a rock star so bad.
88
00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:24,736
Okay, so you need
community service?
89
00:03:24,813 --> 00:03:26,321
I have an idea.
90
00:03:26,332 --> 00:03:27,739
Why don't you come
speak to my music class?
91
00:03:27,816 --> 00:03:28,949
Brilliant idea!
92
00:03:29,025 --> 00:03:30,700
I'll see you tomorrow.
93
00:03:30,777 --> 00:03:31,835
Oh, I don't know if I
can pull it off tomorrow.
94
00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:33,495
Oh, yes, you can.
95
00:03:33,571 --> 00:03:35,622
Now, you'll--
you'll make it happen.
96
00:03:35,633 --> 00:03:37,290
Think of the children.
97
00:03:37,301 --> 00:03:40,877
You know, they are
from the future.
98
00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:42,212
How high are you?
99
00:03:42,289 --> 00:03:44,589
Fine, thanks.
How are you?
100
00:03:44,666 --> 00:03:45,641
So you're pretty high.
101
00:03:45,717 --> 00:03:46,800
Okay.
102
00:03:46,876 --> 00:03:47,926
I'll make it happen.
103
00:03:48,003 --> 00:03:49,761
See you at school.
104
00:03:49,838 --> 00:03:51,480
(both)
Record deal!
105
00:03:55,427 --> 00:03:56,434
Jimmy,
106
00:03:56,511 --> 00:03:58,228
does this taste like beef?
107
00:03:58,305 --> 00:03:59,938
I have only played
this game once, Samir,
108
00:04:00,015 --> 00:04:03,733
and this is not
a beach rest room.
109
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:06,945
How do you expect Samir to be
the imitation beef king of India
110
00:04:07,022 --> 00:04:07,988
if you won't help him?
111
00:04:08,064 --> 00:04:09,406
Please.
112
00:04:09,482 --> 00:04:10,699
My taste buds
have zero experience
113
00:04:10,775 --> 00:04:12,742
with slaughterhouse flavors.
114
00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:14,744
And I'll never surpass
my brother Vikram's success
115
00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:15,996
if I don't get this right.
116
00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:17,580
Vikram Panj?
117
00:04:17,657 --> 00:04:19,457
The Curry King of Mumbai?
That's your brother?
118
00:04:19,534 --> 00:04:20,676
He's global, man.
119
00:04:20,752 --> 00:04:23,878
He's like the Indian
Papa John's.
120
00:04:23,889 --> 00:04:25,922
Okay, who's ready for our
investment club meeting?
121
00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:27,882
Victoria, I don't know why we
have this meeting every month.
122
00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:29,426
All the stocks you pick suck.
123
00:04:29,502 --> 00:04:30,844
Thank you, Jimmy.
124
00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:32,262
With that being said,
125
00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:33,555
the stock that we
bought last semester
126
00:04:33,631 --> 00:04:35,265
is now worth a lot of money!
127
00:04:35,342 --> 00:04:38,351
Oh! When I said "suck,"
I meant you rock.
128
00:04:38,428 --> 00:04:39,894
So how much did we make?
129
00:04:39,971 --> 00:04:43,949
Right now, our shares
are worth $12,356 each.
130
00:04:44,026 --> 00:04:45,608
Oh! Cash out.
131
00:04:45,685 --> 00:04:46,785
Cash out.
132
00:04:46,862 --> 00:04:48,412
Okay, if I learned anything
133
00:04:48,488 --> 00:04:49,946
from being a wealthy
professional tennis player,
134
00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:52,324
it's spend your money
while you have it,
135
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:55,410
'cause you're not
gonna have it forever.
136
00:04:55,487 --> 00:04:56,845
And that's why
you'll end up living
137
00:04:56,921 --> 00:04:59,539
under the fryer of a
burnt-out White Castle.
138
00:04:59,616 --> 00:05:00,999
Look, the stock
is still rising.
139
00:05:01,076 --> 00:05:02,459
I think we should
hold on to it.
140
00:05:02,535 --> 00:05:03,735
I agree.
141
00:05:03,812 --> 00:05:05,045
I'm gonna need a lot
more than 12 grand
142
00:05:05,121 --> 00:05:07,756
if I want to be India's
substitute beef king.
143
00:05:07,832 --> 00:05:09,883
Come on, guys, all I'm
gonna need is 10 grand
144
00:05:09,959 --> 00:05:13,803
to start M-T-A-F-I-C-K.
145
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:16,014
Ma-taffick?
146
00:05:16,091 --> 00:05:19,809
No, Indian Solange--
147
00:05:19,886 --> 00:05:23,071
the Magnum Tennis Academy
for Inner City Kids.
148
00:05:23,148 --> 00:05:24,522
I remember when I was young
149
00:05:24,599 --> 00:05:25,782
I used to watch
all the poor kids play.
150
00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:27,817
I thought,
151
00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:29,736
"They suck."
152
00:05:29,813 --> 00:05:31,488
I'd call them over
153
00:05:31,564 --> 00:05:32,864
and just pour Gatorade
on the ground.
154
00:05:32,941 --> 00:05:35,075
"Look what I can do."
155
00:05:35,151 --> 00:05:36,868
I say we hold on
to the stock.
156
00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:38,870
I could use the extra money
to put a bigger kitchen
157
00:05:38,947 --> 00:05:40,413
into the house
I'm trying to flip.
158
00:05:40,490 --> 00:05:43,041
Okay, well, majority rules.
Sorry, Jimmy.
159
00:05:43,118 --> 00:05:45,344
Oh, so say three minorities.
160
00:05:50,399 --> 00:05:50,473
.
161
00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:52,250
Eileen, this budget
is incredible.
162
00:05:52,327 --> 00:05:53,927
It must have taken you weeks.
163
00:05:54,003 --> 00:05:55,979
Months.
I'm exhausted.
164
00:05:56,056 --> 00:05:57,263
That's why I look
the way I do.
165
00:05:57,340 --> 00:06:00,809
Oh. That's why.
166
00:06:00,885 --> 00:06:03,853
Tomorrow's budget meeting is
never gonna be more important,
167
00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:05,688
so don't screw it up, Eileen.
168
00:06:05,765 --> 00:06:08,775
Keep those puffy eyes
on the prize.
169
00:06:08,852 --> 00:06:10,110
Hey, P.T.
Hey, what's up, Dalts?
170
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:12,112
Craig, to the "R," to the "O,"
171
00:06:12,188 --> 00:06:13,613
to the "Binson."
172
00:06:13,690 --> 00:06:15,198
Ohh.
173
00:06:15,275 --> 00:06:17,283
Been wondering when I get
to funk it up with you.
174
00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:19,160
Some would say you're
doing it right now.
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00:06:19,237 --> 00:06:20,170
Seriously,
176
00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:21,171
Craig,
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00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:22,789
we need to jam.
178
00:06:22,866 --> 00:06:24,624
Seriously.
Soon.
179
00:06:24,701 --> 00:06:25,883
Jam.
180
00:06:27,963 --> 00:06:30,088
So, I need your
permission for something.
181
00:06:30,165 --> 00:06:32,516
I convinced
a world-famous musician
182
00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:34,017
to come here
and speak to the kids.
183
00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:35,018
I just need your okay.
184
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:36,019
Sure.
185
00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:38,021
That's great, Mr. Robinson.
186
00:06:38,098 --> 00:06:39,681
You know, we haven't
had a speaker here
187
00:06:39,757 --> 00:06:41,149
since Bill Nye
the Science Guy
188
00:06:41,226 --> 00:06:43,235
became Bill Nye
the Stabbed Guy.
189
00:06:45,305 --> 00:06:48,273
I don't believe me eyes.
190
00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:50,233
If it isn't the love of my life,
191
00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:53,161
Eileen "Tight Fit" Taylor.
192
00:06:55,023 --> 00:06:56,039
Neville...
193
00:06:56,116 --> 00:06:58,333
the Devil?
194
00:06:58,410 --> 00:06:59,742
So you two know each other?
195
00:06:59,819 --> 00:07:01,828
Two years on the road together.
196
00:07:01,905 --> 00:07:04,214
I know every inch of this vixen,
197
00:07:04,291 --> 00:07:07,375
outside and three inches in.
198
00:07:07,386 --> 00:07:09,052
It's kind of romantic.
199
00:07:10,455 --> 00:07:11,379
What?
200
00:07:11,456 --> 00:07:12,672
What are you doing here?
201
00:07:12,749 --> 00:07:13,748
Look, I'm Neville's shadow
202
00:07:13,825 --> 00:07:14,716
till we sign this record deal.
203
00:07:14,792 --> 00:07:16,009
This dude is wild, man.
204
00:07:16,085 --> 00:07:17,452
He bought a car
to drive it two blocks,
205
00:07:17,529 --> 00:07:19,688
then he traded it to
a homeless guy for a pickle.
206
00:07:19,764 --> 00:07:20,805
Damn.
207
00:07:20,882 --> 00:07:22,107
That's full-blown rock star.
208
00:07:24,886 --> 00:07:26,194
Principal Taylor,
209
00:07:26,271 --> 00:07:27,395
I'm so sorry.
210
00:07:27,472 --> 00:07:28,938
I did not know you
and Neville had a past.
211
00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:30,231
But look, he's here now.
212
00:07:30,308 --> 00:07:31,700
Why don't we just let him
talk to the kids.
213
00:07:31,776 --> 00:07:33,276
He might be able
to teach them something.
214
00:07:33,353 --> 00:07:35,945
Oh, yes, like how to find
drug scraps in the carpet
215
00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:37,113
with the lights off.
216
00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:38,823
[bell rings]
217
00:07:38,900 --> 00:07:40,366
No, there's no way
he's talking to my kids.
218
00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:42,076
I want him out of this school.
219
00:07:42,153 --> 00:07:43,328
Now.
220
00:07:43,404 --> 00:07:44,746
Maybe some dinner tonight,
Tight Fit?
221
00:07:44,822 --> 00:07:46,247
That is not my name.
222
00:07:46,324 --> 00:07:48,750
I am not "Tight Fit" anymore.
223
00:07:48,826 --> 00:07:50,960
I'm no longer
"All Night Neville."
224
00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,888
Time--she's a bit
of a bitch, eh?
225
00:07:56,960 --> 00:08:00,261
I've got the most
talented guest speaker
226
00:08:00,338 --> 00:08:02,972
any teacher has ever
gotten any class ever.
227
00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:05,642
(both)
Taylor Swift?
228
00:08:05,718 --> 00:08:08,186
No, but a close second.
229
00:08:08,263 --> 00:08:10,980
Please say hello
to my future boss,
230
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,358
Neville Rex!
231
00:08:13,434 --> 00:08:15,869
[applause]
232
00:08:21,985 --> 00:08:25,328
This man has 15 Grammys.
233
00:08:25,405 --> 00:08:27,997
Walls covered
with platinum albums.
234
00:08:28,074 --> 00:08:30,208
Neville Rex is a superstar.
235
00:08:30,285 --> 00:08:33,094
Yeah.
So y'all better recognize.
236
00:08:35,123 --> 00:08:37,340
Hey, kid, are you
new in this class?
237
00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:38,967
Kid? Please.
238
00:08:39,043 --> 00:08:40,260
I'm this man's entourage.
239
00:08:40,336 --> 00:08:42,437
[laughs]
That's just French for "bitch."
240
00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:46,057
Do you kiss your mother
with that mouth?
241
00:08:46,134 --> 00:08:48,726
No, but I'ma kiss your
mother with this mouth.
242
00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:50,353
Biiitch.
243
00:08:50,430 --> 00:08:52,188
(Craig)
Hey, hey, hey.
244
00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:54,816
So, I thought it would be cool
245
00:08:54,892 --> 00:08:56,859
for you guys
to hear from someone
246
00:08:56,936 --> 00:08:58,903
who used music to succeed.
247
00:08:58,980 --> 00:08:59,904
Neville?
248
00:08:59,981 --> 00:09:00,947
First of all,
249
00:09:01,024 --> 00:09:02,699
don't do drugs.
250
00:09:02,775 --> 00:09:03,783
That's right.
251
00:09:03,860 --> 00:09:05,243
Unless it's a known source
252
00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:07,128
and it hasn't been cut
too many times.
253
00:09:09,991 --> 00:09:13,209
- Principal Taylor--
- You look lovely, Eileen.
254
00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:15,253
(Deandre)
Principal Taylor,
you know this old dude
255
00:09:15,330 --> 00:09:18,506
who smells like bowling shoes
and licorice?
256
00:09:18,583 --> 00:09:19,966
Good nose, son.
257
00:09:19,977 --> 00:09:22,102
Your principal and I
258
00:09:22,178 --> 00:09:23,386
were once in love.
259
00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:25,013
That was a long time ago.
260
00:09:25,089 --> 00:09:27,140
I remember it well.
261
00:09:27,216 --> 00:09:28,975
Eileen and I were
in Paris together
262
00:09:29,052 --> 00:09:32,395
at the Café de Flore
in Saint-Germain-des-Prés,
263
00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:33,396
and she kissed my neck,
264
00:09:33,473 --> 00:09:34,772
spanked my bottom,
265
00:09:34,849 --> 00:09:36,524
and inspired me
to write my mega-hit,
266
00:09:36,601 --> 00:09:39,944
Kiss Me, Spank Me, Love Me.
267
00:09:39,955 --> 00:09:41,821
You want to know
what I remember well?
268
00:09:41,898 --> 00:09:43,323
The not-so-good times,
269
00:09:43,399 --> 00:09:46,409
like doing lines off
the toilet seat at CBGB's.
270
00:09:46,486 --> 00:09:49,078
(all)
Ohh.
271
00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:50,571
(Neville)
Well, in closing,
272
00:09:50,649 --> 00:09:53,333
if there's one lesson
I can leave you with,
273
00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:54,792
it's...
274
00:09:54,803 --> 00:09:59,797
never eat 100 balloons
full of anything.
275
00:09:59,808 --> 00:10:01,265
Two lessons I guess.
276
00:10:01,343 --> 00:10:04,927
The second being,
never let true love slip away.
277
00:10:05,004 --> 00:10:06,846
Eileen, please.
Dinner with me.
278
00:10:06,923 --> 00:10:07,847
Sorry, Neville.
279
00:10:07,858 --> 00:10:09,515
20 years too late.
280
00:10:09,592 --> 00:10:11,559
Could you please leave?
281
00:10:11,636 --> 00:10:14,896
Man, that ended
on a bummer.
282
00:10:14,972 --> 00:10:16,105
But thank you
for coming in today
283
00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:17,482
to share your story, Mr. Rex.
284
00:10:17,558 --> 00:10:18,524
Please, call me Neville.
285
00:10:18,601 --> 00:10:20,109
"Mr. Rex" is my penis.
286
00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:21,986
Give it up for Neville.
287
00:10:22,063 --> 00:10:23,112
Give it up for Neville.
288
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:24,289
Come on.
289
00:10:26,275 --> 00:10:30,286
Craig, I need you to convince
Eileen to go out with me.
290
00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:31,788
It's pretty clear
she hates you.
291
00:10:31,864 --> 00:10:33,247
Let me tell you a little story.
292
00:10:33,324 --> 00:10:35,333
If Eileen doesn't
go out with me,
293
00:10:35,410 --> 00:10:38,378
it's--I forget the rest.
294
00:10:38,454 --> 00:10:39,379
(Ben)
Record deal!
295
00:10:39,455 --> 00:10:42,090
Yes, thank you.
296
00:10:42,166 --> 00:10:43,841
That goes away.
297
00:10:43,918 --> 00:10:45,201
All right. All right.
298
00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:46,886
I'll see what I can do
to loosen Eileen up.
299
00:10:46,963 --> 00:10:49,847
I mean tighten her up--
I mean--
300
00:10:49,924 --> 00:10:51,557
I'll make it happen.
301
00:10:51,634 --> 00:10:53,559
Brilliant, Craig.
Now, I've got to go.
302
00:10:53,636 --> 00:10:56,404
This hot day-moon
is killing me.
303
00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:00,825
He talking about the sun?
304
00:11:08,818 --> 00:11:09,042
.
305
00:11:10,111 --> 00:11:12,203
Jimmy, why are you
driving a Ferrari?
306
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:15,164
Why do you hate America?
307
00:11:15,241 --> 00:11:17,208
I mean, I thought you were
saving up for your tennis camp.
308
00:11:17,285 --> 00:11:19,210
If I'm gonna get
the best poor kids around,
309
00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:23,047
I got to look like the best
white, rich tennis guy around.
310
00:11:23,124 --> 00:11:24,424
Even if that made sense,
311
00:11:24,500 --> 00:11:25,775
where did you get the money?
312
00:11:25,777 --> 00:11:27,677
I got a loan against
my future stock payout
313
00:11:27,754 --> 00:11:29,220
from a very
levelheaded businessman
314
00:11:29,231 --> 00:11:31,773
named Mikey
"Kills-With-Scissors."
315
00:11:31,850 --> 00:11:33,391
Jimmy, are you crazy?
316
00:11:33,468 --> 00:11:35,685
What happens when you
can't pay him back?
317
00:11:35,762 --> 00:11:37,186
How should I know?
318
00:11:37,263 --> 00:11:39,063
Look, Victoria, relax,
I didn't buy this car.
319
00:11:39,140 --> 00:11:40,064
Oh, thank God.
320
00:11:40,141 --> 00:11:41,149
I rented it.
321
00:11:41,225 --> 00:11:43,192
$1,000 a day, six-day minimum.
322
00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:44,652
Good lock with that, Bjorn Dork.
323
00:11:44,729 --> 00:11:46,070
Thank you.
324
00:11:46,147 --> 00:11:47,280
I, for one,
am gonna use my money
325
00:11:47,356 --> 00:11:48,489
for something noble.
326
00:11:48,566 --> 00:11:50,199
Something good.
327
00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:52,285
To destroy my brother.
328
00:11:52,361 --> 00:11:53,719
And of course his lovely wife
329
00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:55,621
when she throws herself
on his funeral pyre.
330
00:11:55,698 --> 00:11:57,340
I vote we sell.
331
00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:01,711
Neville's gone.
332
00:12:01,788 --> 00:12:04,046
He should have been gone
the first time I told you.
333
00:12:04,123 --> 00:12:05,715
I was having flashbacks
of big hair,
334
00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:08,259
fingerless gloves,
and pounding Bartles and Jaymes
335
00:12:08,336 --> 00:12:10,845
till I puked Blue Hawaiian.
336
00:12:10,856 --> 00:12:12,555
You know, Neville
seems sincere.
337
00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:13,723
I think he wants
to make things right.
338
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,224
Maybe you should go to dinner.
339
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,143
I can't believe you're
even saying that.
340
00:12:17,154 --> 00:12:19,061
Me either.
341
00:12:19,138 --> 00:12:20,354
For one thing,
I have the biggest
342
00:12:20,365 --> 00:12:22,365
budget meeting
of the year tomorrow,
343
00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:23,733
and for another thing,
344
00:12:23,810 --> 00:12:25,193
dinner with Neville
345
00:12:25,269 --> 00:12:26,861
can quickly turn
into breakfast with Neville
346
00:12:26,938 --> 00:12:29,289
in Colombia.
347
00:12:29,365 --> 00:12:30,615
I understand.
348
00:12:30,691 --> 00:12:32,450
He did say he'd do anything.
349
00:12:32,527 --> 00:12:34,452
If nothing else,
the man has deep pockets.
350
00:12:34,529 --> 00:12:36,496
Large donation
to the school.
351
00:12:36,572 --> 00:12:41,384
Help solve some
of those budget problems.
352
00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:43,127
He said that?
353
00:12:43,204 --> 00:12:45,755
Sure.
354
00:12:45,832 --> 00:12:47,390
And, you know, Eileen,
355
00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:49,759
you're not the doe-eyed
impressionable groupie
356
00:12:49,836 --> 00:12:50,843
you once were.
357
00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:52,678
You can handle him.
358
00:12:52,755 --> 00:12:54,597
Think about what a hero
you'd be to Supervisor Dalton,
359
00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:55,774
and the kids.
360
00:12:55,850 --> 00:12:57,183
You know what?
361
00:12:57,260 --> 00:12:58,684
He is really rich.
362
00:12:58,761 --> 00:13:00,269
I'm gonna have dinner with him.
363
00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:01,404
Let him apologize.
364
00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:02,814
Eat some scampi.
365
00:13:02,890 --> 00:13:04,657
And take that bastard's money.
366
00:13:04,734 --> 00:13:07,401
That's the spirit.
367
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:09,829
Getting me a record deal.
368
00:13:09,906 --> 00:13:12,281
I'm going to hell.
369
00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:14,575
Get that record deal!
370
00:13:14,652 --> 00:13:16,336
Go straight to hell.
371
00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:20,231
Hey, guys.
372
00:13:20,308 --> 00:13:21,290
I just got a market alert.
373
00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:22,425
Our stock has started to drop.
374
00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:24,168
Yeah. Dump it. Dump it all.
375
00:13:24,245 --> 00:13:25,419
I'm in way over my head.
376
00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:26,546
My dream is dying.
377
00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:28,214
Look, it's just an adjustment.
378
00:13:28,291 --> 00:13:30,800
All market indicators point
to a big upswing coming.
379
00:13:30,877 --> 00:13:32,468
Yeah? Well, I haven't been able
380
00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:34,595
to convince one kid
to get in my car with me.
381
00:13:34,672 --> 00:13:38,307
And, Mikey "Kills-With-Scissors"
just sent me a message.
382
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:41,310
He also sent me a text
saying he wants his money back.
383
00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:43,271
Yeah, yeah, I want
to sell too.
384
00:13:43,347 --> 00:13:45,606
I need that money to start
my testing phase for Boff.
385
00:13:45,683 --> 00:13:46,607
"Boff"?
386
00:13:46,684 --> 00:13:47,817
My beef substitute.
387
00:13:47,894 --> 00:13:51,529
"Boff. It's what's for donner."
388
00:13:51,606 --> 00:13:53,656
Samir, if your people don't
eat beef, why have a beef--
389
00:13:53,733 --> 00:13:56,459
My mother always loved
my brother more!
390
00:13:56,536 --> 00:13:58,578
(Ashleigh)
Okay. I'm sorry, Victoria,
391
00:13:58,654 --> 00:14:00,538
but this market's
as crazy as these two.
392
00:14:00,615 --> 00:14:02,623
I think we should sell so I can
finish the work on that house.
393
00:14:02,700 --> 00:14:03,624
It'll help me get some interest
394
00:14:03,701 --> 00:14:05,209
in my reality show idea:
395
00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:07,670
Stripper Flipper.
396
00:14:07,747 --> 00:14:10,339
Okay, we all agreed
that the majority rules.
397
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:11,841
So we'll sell the stock.
398
00:14:11,918 --> 00:14:14,719
And I hope that
Stripper Flipper,
399
00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:17,430
Boff, and "World's Dumbest
Tennis Camp"
400
00:14:17,506 --> 00:14:19,640
are all very successful for you.
401
00:14:19,717 --> 00:14:21,317
(all)
Thank you so much.
402
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:26,764
(Dalton)
Where the hell is Eileen?
403
00:14:26,766 --> 00:14:29,400
That woman had the most
important budget meeting
404
00:14:29,477 --> 00:14:31,360
of the year this morning
and missed it.
405
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:33,362
I don't know; I haven't
seen her since yesterday,
406
00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:35,006
and to be honest,
I'm kind of worried about her.
407
00:14:35,082 --> 00:14:37,491
No need to worry.
She's a strong, forceful woman.
408
00:14:37,568 --> 00:14:39,836
[guitar feedback]
409
00:14:39,913 --> 00:14:41,621
What the hell is going on?
410
00:14:41,697 --> 00:14:43,456
[guitar shredding]
411
00:14:43,532 --> 00:14:44,999
Wow.
412
00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:46,885
That's a really good lick.
413
00:14:48,755 --> 00:14:51,881
¶ ¶
414
00:14:51,958 --> 00:14:54,517
Rock and roll, bitches!
415
00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:57,896
Principal Taylor, this behavior
is completely inappropriate!
416
00:14:57,972 --> 00:14:59,889
80-hour work weeks?
417
00:14:59,966 --> 00:15:01,641
No personal life?
418
00:15:01,717 --> 00:15:03,434
That's inappropriate.
419
00:15:03,511 --> 00:15:06,938
So eat me, Dalton!
420
00:15:07,014 --> 00:15:09,732
Okay, so, I'm just gonna go
ahead and turn of the P.A.
421
00:15:09,809 --> 00:15:12,535
Uh, sorry, kids.
422
00:15:12,612 --> 00:15:15,696
Today's lunch is chili-mac.
423
00:15:15,773 --> 00:15:17,865
Yeah, this next song is called
424
00:15:17,942 --> 00:15:20,743
I Had Sex With Your Principal.
425
00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:21,911
Oh, my God.
426
00:15:21,988 --> 00:15:23,546
You're Neville Rex!
427
00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:25,581
Not done with you, Eileen.
428
00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:30,252
I would love it if you
would sign my chest.
429
00:15:30,329 --> 00:15:32,588
Where did that strong,
independent woman go?
430
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:33,714
I thought you had this.
431
00:15:33,791 --> 00:15:35,967
Turns out he had me.
432
00:15:36,043 --> 00:15:37,426
Several times.
433
00:15:37,503 --> 00:15:38,561
[laughs]
434
00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:39,812
Craig, I just want to thank you
435
00:15:39,889 --> 00:15:43,724
for bringing Neville
back to my life.
436
00:15:43,801 --> 00:15:44,976
Jackhammer, I'm bored.
437
00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:46,569
Me too, love.
438
00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:48,437
Let's get naked
and run through a Denny's
439
00:15:48,514 --> 00:15:52,325
and show 'em what
a grand slam really is, eh?
440
00:15:52,402 --> 00:15:53,359
Come on.
441
00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:54,577
Well done, Craig.
442
00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:55,987
The contracts
for your record deal
443
00:15:56,063 --> 00:15:57,655
are being drawn up today.
444
00:15:57,732 --> 00:16:00,667
Principal Taylor
has left the building.
445
00:16:02,862 --> 00:16:06,455
Craig, that woman
is out of control.
446
00:16:06,532 --> 00:16:07,456
Neville!
447
00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:08,749
Neville!
448
00:16:08,826 --> 00:16:10,593
You brought him here.
You need to fix this.
449
00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:12,336
She's under a lot
of pressure, all right?
450
00:16:12,347 --> 00:16:13,796
Let's just give her
a little record deal.
451
00:16:13,873 --> 00:16:15,965
A little space.
A little space.
452
00:16:16,042 --> 00:16:18,601
She'll figure it out.
453
00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:19,811
Damn, you fine.
454
00:16:23,048 --> 00:16:23,122
.
455
00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:24,415
Deandre.
456
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:25,599
What is going on out here?
457
00:16:25,676 --> 00:16:27,018
Principal Taylor quit, yo.
458
00:16:27,094 --> 00:16:28,528
There's no one to get
in trouble with.
459
00:16:28,604 --> 00:16:29,854
Everybody's bouncing.
460
00:16:29,930 --> 00:16:31,689
I'll see you tomorrow, Mr. C.
461
00:16:31,766 --> 00:16:33,566
Maybe.
462
00:16:33,642 --> 00:16:34,775
Hey, new kid.
463
00:16:34,852 --> 00:16:36,077
Everybody's out of here.
464
00:16:36,154 --> 00:16:38,029
I ain't no kid.
I'm a grown-ass man.
465
00:16:38,105 --> 00:16:39,030
[laughs]
466
00:16:39,106 --> 00:16:40,531
Well, you might be a man,
467
00:16:40,542 --> 00:16:42,000
but you sure ain't grown.
468
00:16:43,944 --> 00:16:46,620
The kids here are mean.
469
00:16:46,697 --> 00:16:47,747
What are you doing here?
470
00:16:47,823 --> 00:16:48,798
I thought you
were tailing Neville.
471
00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:50,374
Yeah, he gave me the slip.
472
00:16:50,451 --> 00:16:51,500
What's going on
with the record deal?
473
00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:52,501
He said it's all but done.
474
00:16:52,578 --> 00:16:53,753
Oh, hell yeah!
475
00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:55,963
Record deal!
Record deal!
476
00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,049
Record deal!
Record deal!
477
00:16:58,125 --> 00:17:00,634
Record deal!
Record deal!
478
00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:01,719
No?
479
00:17:01,796 --> 00:17:02,887
Why you ain't dancing?
480
00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:03,929
I know.
481
00:17:04,006 --> 00:17:05,056
I should be happy.
482
00:17:05,132 --> 00:17:06,024
But I'm not.
483
00:17:06,100 --> 00:17:07,558
Yo, it feels perfect to me.
484
00:17:07,635 --> 00:17:09,435
(sniffs)
Now, if you'll excuse me,
485
00:17:09,446 --> 00:17:11,103
I think I smell
chili-mac in the air.
486
00:17:11,180 --> 00:17:12,447
With no line.
487
00:17:16,161 --> 00:17:18,778
Thank God Superintendant Dalton
is in control.
488
00:17:18,854 --> 00:17:21,664
Yesterday, it was like
Lord of the Flies.
489
00:17:21,741 --> 00:17:23,115
Screw the kids.
490
00:17:23,192 --> 00:17:24,742
Boff is dead.
491
00:17:24,819 --> 00:17:26,577
My money's all gone.
492
00:17:26,654 --> 00:17:28,454
I spent money for a focus group,
493
00:17:28,531 --> 00:17:31,540
then had to pay to get
all their stomachs pumped.
494
00:17:31,617 --> 00:17:32,917
I'm never gonna beat
my brother.
495
00:17:32,993 --> 00:17:35,419
Damn you, Curry King!
496
00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:38,005
I've said that a thousand times.
497
00:17:38,082 --> 00:17:40,841
No, no, Craig,
Samir lost all his money.
498
00:17:40,918 --> 00:17:42,426
I, on the other hand,
499
00:17:42,503 --> 00:17:44,804
was able to flip that house
and make a profit,
500
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:47,473
but my Stripper Flipper idea
is DOA.
501
00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:49,692
It turns out that
Mary Lou Retton has a show
502
00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:51,769
where she refinishes furniture--
503
00:17:51,846 --> 00:17:53,604
It's called Flipper Stripper.
504
00:17:53,615 --> 00:17:57,441
That bouncy bitch.
505
00:17:57,452 --> 00:17:58,701
What about you, Vic?
506
00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:00,903
Oh, um, I put mine
back into the stock
507
00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:04,573
and, actually,
it's up 400% and climbing.
508
00:18:04,650 --> 00:18:05,883
Oh, show-off.
509
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,035
My tennis camp is dead
and so am I.
510
00:18:08,112 --> 00:18:10,713
And Mikey "Kills-With-Scissors"
keeps stabbing my balls.
511
00:18:12,700 --> 00:18:13,874
Don't worry, Jimmy.
512
00:18:13,885 --> 00:18:15,501
I got Mikey
"Kills-With-Scissors"
513
00:18:15,578 --> 00:18:16,961
off your balls.
514
00:18:17,037 --> 00:18:17,962
I bought your debt.
515
00:18:18,038 --> 00:18:20,598
So now you owes me.
516
00:18:20,675 --> 00:18:21,765
Awesome.
517
00:18:21,843 --> 00:18:23,968
So, can I get another loan?
518
00:18:24,044 --> 00:18:25,886
No, but what you are gonna do
519
00:18:25,897 --> 00:18:27,721
is teach free tennis lessons
to the kids here
520
00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:29,232
until I feel
like you've paid me back.
521
00:18:29,308 --> 00:18:30,891
Okay. I'll do it.
522
00:18:30,968 --> 00:18:32,326
But I got one more question.
523
00:18:32,328 --> 00:18:34,728
How long are you
gonna pay for my Ferrari?
524
00:18:34,739 --> 00:18:37,189
Oh, you mean my Ferrari?
525
00:18:37,266 --> 00:18:38,732
Oh, the way the stock is going,
526
00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:40,484
maybe another 30 days.
527
00:18:40,561 --> 00:18:42,528
Keys.
528
00:18:42,605 --> 00:18:44,622
[bell rings]
529
00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:48,576
That was cool
what you did for Jimmy.
530
00:18:48,652 --> 00:18:50,161
Oh, what was I supposed to do?
531
00:18:50,237 --> 00:18:51,662
He's our friend.
532
00:18:51,739 --> 00:18:53,831
I would hope if you see
a friend in distress,
533
00:18:53,908 --> 00:18:55,916
that you would
reach out to them.
534
00:18:55,927 --> 00:18:57,969
Anyone here
would do that for you.
535
00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:03,182
You know, you're not very
cryptic with you pep talks.
536
00:19:07,346 --> 00:19:10,273
So, why did Craig
ask us to meet him here?
537
00:19:10,349 --> 00:19:11,974
Oh, I have no idea.
538
00:19:12,051 --> 00:19:14,560
Courtesy of Mr. Robinson.
539
00:19:14,637 --> 00:19:20,024
¶ You followed the music
into a bathroom stall ¶
540
00:19:20,100 --> 00:19:21,650
¶ When you finally woke up ¶
541
00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:24,862
¶ There was writing
on the wall ¶
542
00:19:24,939 --> 00:19:27,290
¶ It was written right above ¶
543
00:19:27,366 --> 00:19:30,159
¶ "For a good time, call" ¶
544
00:19:30,236 --> 00:19:32,786
¶ The message was clear ¶
545
00:19:32,863 --> 00:19:35,673
¶ How far will you fall? ¶
546
00:19:35,750 --> 00:19:38,334
¶ Then and there it hit you ¶
547
00:19:38,410 --> 00:19:40,920
¶ Right across the face ¶
548
00:19:40,996 --> 00:19:42,880
¶ It's time to let
that tour bus ¶
549
00:19:42,957 --> 00:19:45,841
¶ Finally drive away ¶
550
00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:47,051
Slap it, Dalts!
551
00:19:47,061 --> 00:19:49,762
[fumbling bass playing]
552
00:19:49,838 --> 00:19:51,639
¶ ¶
553
00:19:51,715 --> 00:19:52,815
Never mind.
554
00:19:52,892 --> 00:19:55,100
¶ You were never meant ¶
555
00:19:55,177 --> 00:19:58,103
¶ To follow the masses ¶
556
00:19:58,180 --> 00:19:59,772
¶ You know you were sent ¶
557
00:19:59,848 --> 00:20:03,075
¶ Here to put kids
into classes ¶
558
00:20:03,152 --> 00:20:05,027
Enough!
559
00:20:05,104 --> 00:20:06,987
That bloody sucked!
560
00:20:07,064 --> 00:20:10,908
And I've seen Wings live.
561
00:20:10,985 --> 00:20:12,117
She's made her choice, mate.
562
00:20:12,194 --> 00:20:13,244
Just accept it.
563
00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:15,204
Can't do it, Neville.
564
00:20:15,281 --> 00:20:16,622
Record deal or not,
565
00:20:16,699 --> 00:20:18,216
if you truly care
for Eileen,
566
00:20:18,292 --> 00:20:19,842
you want what's best for her,
567
00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:22,127
and that means
she stays here--with us.
568
00:20:22,204 --> 00:20:23,754
What about what's
best for me?
569
00:20:23,765 --> 00:20:26,090
I haven't had a hit
since I lost Eileen.
570
00:20:26,166 --> 00:20:27,675
She's my muse,
571
00:20:27,751 --> 00:20:28,976
and I need her back.
572
00:20:29,053 --> 00:20:31,011
Not as much as we
need her back.
573
00:20:31,088 --> 00:20:32,805
All is forgiven, Eileen.
574
00:20:32,881 --> 00:20:36,892
I now know the rush
of being a rock star.
575
00:20:36,969 --> 00:20:38,143
(Craig)
Wait.
576
00:20:38,220 --> 00:20:39,603
So you've been using me
this whole time
577
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,105
to get to Eileen?
578
00:20:41,181 --> 00:20:42,865
Of course. I've been
looking for her for years.
579
00:20:42,942 --> 00:20:46,786
If not for your ridiculous
invitation on school letterhead,
580
00:20:46,862 --> 00:20:48,362
I never would have known
how to find her.
581
00:20:48,373 --> 00:20:49,747
You know what, Neville?
582
00:20:49,824 --> 00:20:50,990
Why don't you take
your record deal,
583
00:20:51,066 --> 00:20:54,910
and shove up your old,
crusty, British ass.
584
00:20:54,987 --> 00:20:56,120
Come on, babe.
585
00:20:56,196 --> 00:20:57,621
Let's get out of here.
586
00:20:57,632 --> 00:20:59,123
No.
587
00:20:59,199 --> 00:21:00,749
Using me is one thing.
588
00:21:00,826 --> 00:21:04,295
In fact, I really enjoyed
the stuff I can remember.
589
00:21:04,371 --> 00:21:08,382
But there's no way I'm gonna
let you hurt one of my teachers.
590
00:21:08,459 --> 00:21:10,884
Good-bye, Neville.
591
00:21:10,961 --> 00:21:12,228
Good-bye, Tight Fit.
592
00:21:17,727 --> 00:21:19,893
It's good to have you back...
593
00:21:19,904 --> 00:21:21,270
Tight Fit.
594
00:21:21,347 --> 00:21:24,073
It's good to be back,
Mr. Robinson.
595
00:21:24,150 --> 00:21:26,317
So, how high are you?
596
00:21:26,393 --> 00:21:28,077
Fine. How are you?
597
00:21:31,523 --> 00:21:32,999
(Neville)
Mr. Rex is my penis.
45719
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