All language subtitles for Capitaine.Marleau.S04E10

WITH THE KIND PARTICIPATION OF

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hCOURTHOUSE

MARLEAU: A businessman
who receives threats? So what.

We're not going to give
him the office pool either!

Anyway, I'm warning you,

if there's no stiff, I don't care.

GAUTHIER: This is a sensitive matter.

The businessman, Mr Cappa, is
of great interest to the justice system.

- Cappa?

Not Simon Cappa?

A legitimate businessman, yes.
A mafioso.

- Stop rambling, Marleau.

- I'm not saying anything you
don't already know about Cappa.

Cappa is embezzlement of
public funds. Cappa is-- what else...

Tax fraud, subsidy fraud.

Recycling of toxic waste.
Money laundering...

In short, Cappa is
the Don Corleone of corruption.

- We're in a gray area. On the
surface, his business is perfectly legal.

- Like always.
Why does he interest you?

There are plenty of
white-collar thugs

in the ministries.
- We cornered him,

so he agreed to collaborate.
- I know the type well.

PATRONIZING LAUGH

- He'll testify to get
a reduced sentence.

- So he hands everybody to you,

and you give him a suspended sentence.

- The deal is 5 years.
WHISTLES - 5 years is a lot.

Cappa's friends must be glad,

they must be singing "Cappa's done."
- Mmm.

- And who are the 'friends'
who are threatening him?

Russian mobsters or Swiss bankers?

- You have to tell me. People
who will use permanent methods.

- If I mess up,
it might fuck you up.

- If I get sent on
it's a disaster, Marleau.

He gives me information in drips
and drabs. He does it to irritate me.

- Poor Mr Judge. Does this mean goodbye
to promotion to the Ministry of Justice?

- If I squeeze it out of him
it will be a very, very, major coup,

believe me, Captain.
- Well that's good,

maybe we'll see your face on TV.

- I'm not joking.

I need Cappa alive, at all costs.

You will need to exercise
the greatest discretion!

No one should know
that you're investigating.

- Discretion is my department.
They call me 'color coordinated.'

- Cappa is at the Clos du Roi
Hotel with his family,

to prepare for the wedding
of one of his daughters.

- Is the Clos du Roi fancy?

No problem, I'll blend right in.

- Ha. You sure?

- As sure as a Jesuit boarding
school for young adolescents.

18TH CENTURY FRENCH COURT MUSIC,
HEAVY ON THE BRASS

- Marleau! I'm counting on you.

- Discretion. I'm an ex-chameleon.

. . .

. . .

CAPPA: You're still here?

SIMON JR: Dad and Mom are arguing
again. We don't get along there.

- What are you reading?

- 'Crime and Punishment.'
It's so good, grandpa.

Basically, the hero kills his
landlady, he escapes by a miracle,

but he punishes himself.

- I had a hard time understanding it,
it's too psychological for me.

Eh... Get your nose out.

Don't spend all day locked away.
- Yes yes.

RUNNING WATER

YOU'RE GONNA DIE

- How are you, Albertine?
I should do some directing.

Damn, it's heavy.

I'm looking forward to retirement!

So... Hey! Room service!

So...

Like so...

There we go.

RISE AND SHINE!

DISHES FALL
Shit! Oh, broken dishes-

MANSOUR: No no no!
We can't have this,

it's impossible! Indisputable!

I can't have this, this is unacceptable!
- I didn't do it on purpose!

- Mr Judge, in Martinique,
when I was 5 years old,

I saw a cyclone destroy--
I mean destroy-- my father's hotel.

But this? No, it's too much.

- 'It's too much.'
Serving breakfast in the dark,

it's incitement to harassment!

- It's called 'a gentle awakening.'
- That's what I'm saying! Mr Judge?

- It's either this or the
captain comes in uniform.

- Oh no not that! No no! Not possible.

- No, that won't work. My uniform's dirty.

- If you find Simon Cappa at the bottom
of the pool, it'll really leave a mark.

- What do you want me to say?
- Whad'you want me to say?

- "Pa ni pwoblem"!
- "Pa ni pwoblem".*
* CREOLE, 'NO PROBLEM,' 'OK, FINE.'

- "Pa ni pwoblem."
* CREOLE, 'NO PROBLEM,' 'OK, FINE.'

DISHES CLATTER
- Look at her--

a beautiful, brand-new painting!

Take this to your office, it'll fund your
retirement for a year. Let's go, hup!

Get to work, lazy!

MARTIN: It's Véronique, right?
- Yes, Véronique is yours to do

so you don't have to.
Véro' Boulet, like 'ball & chain.'

- This is Reception.

OLGA: What do you mean, "I'm stuck"?
- Mrs Petrovna, I am sincerely sorry,

but the situation is that
the Ministry of Foreign Affairs canceled

your plane ticket.
- My trip?

- Yes...
- It's a catastrophe, Mr. Mansour!

- I understand.

Greg, give Mrs Petrovna some champagne.

We'll take care of you in the meantime.
All right?

- Who's she?
- The wife of a Russian oligarch.

She can't return to Moscow.
- Why? Is she LGBTQI+? THPPT

MANSOUR: We'll take care of everything.

I'm sure this will all
be worked out very quickly.

- Here's the bar.

- The bar.

- So.

- Nice bar.

Stairs.

- And that way, the restaurant.
- Restaurant.

Is it true that a customer
found his bathtub full of blood?

- Mr. Mansour was in a
state... But it was red dye.

- No! GASPS
If my cousin hears about this--

she's a 'Columbo' fan.
Will you show me the bathtub?

MARTIN: Frankly I can't understand.

When I started Mr Cappa's bath
the water was completely normal.

And there was no
message on the mirror.

- You know what?

Every time they want fake blood,

they pack it, solid, into the tap.

Then later, you open the taps and- clack!

It dissolves.
You understand? Look.

And there you go! Heh heh!

Then, the mirror, well...

You couldn't see the message.

It appeared with the steam.

- Are you sure your
cousin's the "Columbo" fan?

- Not my cousin, my girl.

- What the hell did you do Véro'?
You put your fingers everywhere.

- Not at all, I
didn't touch you!

- And look, with your shoes on--
you're going to mess up everything.

- I don't care. I'm working.

Give me your...

♪ I'm sinnng-ing in the blood! ♪

'Joan of Arc' remake?

How ya doin'?
Captain Marleau.

- I hate cops.

- 'I hate' idiots.
Occupational hazard.

- Gauthier is worried for nothing.

I have a security service,

I'm not going to worry because
someone put a little dye in my bathtub.

- Okay, done with your movie?

Your name's not Frank Capra,

it's Simon Cappa, "the necktie."

- Hmm. Can we talk informally?

- I won't allow you.

Well!

Let's get down to business!

One of your colleagues
wants to shut up

your big mouth definitely?
- Captain, I'm just a simple businessman.

My agreement with Gauthier
concerns matters of competition

between respectable companies.
Nothing more.

- No more, no less.

What if your daughter wants to put on
a remake of "The Bride Wore Black,"

you'll be in your litttle coffin,

you'll no longer be there to see her!
CHUCKLES

- Go fuck yourself.

- (With pleasure, but not with you.)

In your youth, did you really
kill a cop during a robbery?

- Don't listen to gossip, Captain.

I'm from a farm near here,
my parents were farmers,

they only taught me the values
of honesty and hard work.

- Work, family, homeland.
'General, here we come!'*
* PROB. REF. MARSHAL PETAIN

- Anyway, Captain, can you
imagine me killing a cop?

- Well...

I wouldn't want to judge
on appearances, but still, a little.

LAUGHS

TICKLE-MONSTER!

Are you Françoise?

I'm Véro, the new girl.
- They're hiring?

- There's "turnover" here.

- You want some?
- Can we eat the scraps?

- Well yeah. If someone says
something to you, say it was me.

- Oh, all right...

How do we make the rooms?

- Mmm...

No need to have
gone to the Polytechnic.

You just want to make it look clean.

- Oh!

"Well," do you know about yesterday?

- They always find something to complain about.
We're not going to get into hot water.

THPPT
- None of that in our house.

Earlier, I freaked out.

I thought I lost my... "badge."

- So what? I lost mine
the other day. No one died.

- Oh?

Did you get it back?

- Well-- no. Anyone
could have picked it up.

LE MARSEILLAISE RINGTONE
- Oh shit, a call.

Who is it?
It's the boss, I have to go.

- If he gives you more rooms,
come see me,

I'll fix it for you.
- Thanks, you're a dear.

- You have to help each
other when you work together.

Run before he yells at you!

- Yeah!
♪ We are here! ♪

♪ Even if the boss doesn't
want it, we are here!* ♪
* LONGTIME PROTEST SONG

- Yes, Mr Judge-of-finished-work.
Yeah, well I do what I can.

The other victim, he won't
cooperate. I'm not going to force him.

Oh yeah?
Joker.

- Francoise?

Françoise Dulac?

Danièle-- how is she?

She's well?
- Not too much, no. She had a stroke.

VOICES

EDDY: So what was the Legion* like?
FRANCK: We were never bored.
* THE FOREIGN LEGION

One day in Guyana, we were
doing a commando training course,

we were in water up to our waists.

A real quagmire.
It smelled like rotting animals.

And you know what I saw
in front of me? An alligator.

And not a little one, no!
A humongous thing.

- Oh damn.

- I jump on him astride,

I grab his jaw, force it open,
and I dislocate his mandibles!

Believe me or don't,
it never came back.

You see, the Legion
is about camaraderie.

- Yeah, for sure.
You must have regrets.

- Listen, I have to call my mother.
Give me 5 minutes? Okay.

Right, Cappa gets beaten and
we don't talk about him anymore. Uh-huh.

OK. No no, no.

FRANCK: Yes. What happens
now? What'll she do?

What's happening?

Yes. Well, she'll like that.

FRANCK: We have to play it smart.

RUSSIAN
You're going to catch this bastard.

As long as I'm alive, he's
not going to get away with this.

DIMITRI: Calm down, Olechka.

You've always been extreme.

Remember, he has a long reach.

-Tac - tac - tac....
SOUND OF DEALING CARDS

Score, score, and 10 to finish.

- Mm-hmm. And one of them
would be the author of the threats?

- In any case, among these
there's always one that surprises me.

Here, him for example.

A former Legionnaire. Me and
Legionnaires-- I'm wary of them.

Why? Because my ex-father-in-law
was a Legionnaire. He had

two identities and, what's
more, he was groping my little sister.

- And this lady here?
- This one?

Well, she's a Russian
oligarch who's saying

she can't go home to Moscow
because of the war in Ukraine.

- Well, it's clear that at
this moment it's not easy for her

to call the consulate, eh?
- No.

Sure, Baba Yaga* isn't bad, but,
* OGRESS IN FOLKLORE

turns out she's a
Baba Yaga from Montreuil.*
* TRENDY PARIS SUBURB

Anyway, I saw them both,

chatting among the garden's
magnificent century-old conifers,

And, see, I can tell you
he has a killer face.

- Having a killer's face
doesn't make us one.

- No, but then if he were
ex-KGB it wouldn't surprise me.

- As for Dr Gentil*
I have the lowdown on him.
* LITERALLY, 'DR NICE'

He's involved in the case
of a cosmetic surgery clinic
* LITERALLY, 'DR NICE'

with shadowy funding.

- Really? Could it have been
Cappa who financed it?

- This case isn't about legality of
operations in high demand.

No, the problem is the good
Dr Gentil, it's a beaut:

CHUCKLES
he stole part of Cappa's profits.

- Not good, daddy!

It's not the thing to do unless
you want to end up in an acid bath.
CHUCKLES

- Would he threaten
to kill Gentil for that?

- Possibly, it makes sense.

He has a good right-wing face.
Right?

CLOCK CHIMING

Are you kidding me?

- I swear to you, Mr. Cappa,
I have always been honest...

- SHUT UP!

You have 3 days to give me
the money back. Understand?

MUFFLED

- Yes, Mr. Cappa. I hear you, yes.

Of course, Mr. Cappa!

Yes, Mr. Cappa!

Of course!

Hey!

Come on, hup!

MANSOUR: Oh!

-Capitai- uh... We have a
problem in the Renaissance Suite.

- Again? I'll go.

GERMAN "Achtung."
On your bike, hup!

- It's disgusting.

- Oh, because it
reminds you of something?

- I'm Catholic and I like beautiful
things, this is a double sacrilege

Mmm.

- Yeah.

It's true that there's style.

- It's a very beautiful painting.
- I'm not talking about the painting.

The guy who's threatening
you, there's style.

The staging,

there's imagination.
I dunno-- a universe, yeah?

- You should become
an art critic, Marleau.

- Criticism's not a job, it's a defect.

Looks like the guy left
you a message. No?

I don't know what, but...

For example: the bathtub full of blood.
Apart from the English who come,

what does that make you think of?
- 'The Shining.'

Or Dracula.

- Dracula? Did he study fine arts?
I did not know that.

No, I was thinking more...

You see, the work of
eco-activist comrades,

when they vandalize paintings.
- Oh yeah.

Another mystery
solved by Capt. Marleau.

All you have to do is find
the hidden Zadist* in the hotel.
* 'ZONE TO DEFEND'

All you have to do is find
the hidden Zadist* in the hotel.
* ANTI-GROWTH MOVEMENT

FORCED\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h
CHUCKLE\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h

- We all have an area to
defend, right? Or even to hide.

VALERIA: You are so beautiful, sister.
GASPS

That's wonderful!

Have you seen the catalogs?
LAURA: Mm-hmm.

- You all right?

- (Yes.) Everything is fine, Valeria.

- Any news from Philippe?
- No. It's a bit of a mess

in the City at the moment.

-Too bad he's not here to
prepare this wedding with you.

- Excuse me.

- Are you sure you're okay?

PEOPLE DINING

DISTANT LAUGHTER

- (Thanks.)

- (Thanks.)

TAPS GLASS
What would you like, honey?

- I don't know, same as you.

LUDO: Can't you put down
your book for 5 minutes?

- Dad, I have one chapter left,
I'm almost finished

- Always buried in his books.
Can't you play football or whatever?

- A guy thing?
- Finally someone in the family

who uses his brain,
we're not going to stop him.

- Dad, please.

What are we ordering for dessert?

- By the way... For the
container business in Rotterdam-

- We don't talk business at the table.
There's kids.

- Why do you never trust me?

You think I'm a moron, right?
We can relate.

- Calm down, it's not
the right time, that's all.

- Don't you want to go and relax a little?

Breathe the clean country air?

No?

It's fine, it's fine. Everything's fine.

Franck?

So, what do you want for dessert?

CLOCK CHIMING

Come on, let's go for a walk.

Coming.

You love stories,
I have one to tell you.

- Oh yes? What is it?
- You'll see.

Come on, hurry up!

This is where your grandpa grew up.

- That's why you wanted
Laura to get married at Clos du Roi?

- Oh, well at the time the castle
belonged to a big local owner,

You don't know what it was like,
having him take off his hat to him:

'Yes, sir,' 'Well sir,' 'Good sir.'

- It's not like that anymore.
- No, we're the same and that's fine.

Huh? There it is.

That's where my parents' farm was.

They were tenants.

There was no electricity,
the sun did everything.

- It's "Les Misérables"!

Grandpa, what's the matter?
- Nothing. Nothing!

I was thinking of your great-uncle.
- The one who was disabled?

I didn't know him.
- No.

When he died, your
mother wasn't even born.

Come on! Here.

We're going to see someone
I knew when I was little.

It's chocolates, it's you
who'll give it to them.

We never arrive at
people's homes empty-handed.

- Never empty-handed.

LAURA: A cognac, please.

MOBILE RINGS
-There you are, madam.

. . .

. . .

. . .

PHILIPPE

. . .
CUTS OFF

MESSAGE ALERT

PIANO

. . .

- It's beautiful.

What is it?

- One of my compositions,

just a little thing.

- It's really nice.

Are you the pianist at the bar?
I've never seen you.

- No... Well, I do some
evenings when I have time.

Are you on vacation?

- Yes... Well, no. I'm with family,
my father has business in the area.

- Are you a musician?

- Uh, I played a bit when I was
little, but I really wasn't very good.

- Do you want to get back into it?

- No. I wouldn't be able to do it.
- Come on.

Four-hands! No one will hear us.

- (Okay.)

♪

THEY LAUGH

Your mother will
wonder where you are.

- You happy?
Finished with your fooling around?

It's totally stupid and it's useless.

- I needed some air.

- What would you have done
if the killer had followed you?

- Good night, Marleau.
- That's it, go to your room!

And you're grounded until morning!

I'd have never gotten you killed!
I'll give you one!

About time!

Slackers!

DRYER BEEPS

Phew, fuck! I'm shattered!

It's not a job, it's slavery!

- Not easy, eh, the first day?
- I don't know how you do it,

you must be, what, 64?
How do you hold on?

How do you do it, girls?

I thought I was going to die.
- I don't pity you there.

It's worse elsewhere,
we just get paid better.

- Oh yeah?
- Yeah, nonetheless she's right, Vero.'

Exploitation is still exploitation.
Even here you have to scrub toilets!

- They treat us like shit.

Outsourcing equals abuse. It's
the bosses, it's said about all bosses.

- You're right, we're being
stepped on. It's the system.

- It's not right! Hey!
You have to shout, girls!

Solidarity! Like Marilyn Garcia*
* PLAYED SMALL PART IN...

in 'Discount.'* The movie.
* 2014 CORINNE MASIERO FILM

- Yean, hope springs eternal.

I'm going to bed.

You do the same if
you want to make it tomorrow.

I'm off, good night, girls.
- Good night, girls!

- Good night, kid.

She's not really in Rachel Keke's* world.
* EX-HOTEL WORKER NOW POLITICIAN

- With her it's every man for himself.

But don't complain, she likes you.
- Oh yeah?

(What's her problem?)

- (I don't know.)

LOCKER OPENING

- Hey!

- Good night, Vero.'
- Good night, babe!

Eh...

Oh, well this isn't boring.

What's in there?

Hmm.

Ugh!

'Break Wind, by Thierry Vulgaire--

because I'm worthless!'

What's in here?

(Fuck, cigars!)

SMOKING\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h
KILLS\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h

Absolutely!

Herpés.

Well done.

If the boss saw this...

You wouldn't last long as Robin Hood,

CAPPA SCREAMING

- What happened?
- Someone shot at me, trying to kill me!

CAPPA: Is there anyone?

- There's nobody!

- Good morning.
Simon Cappa's room, please.

- First right down the hallway.

- (You can't do this.)

- There was an attempted murder.

The Renaissance Suite, please.
- Think about the reputation of the hotel.

Imagine if my clients
come across Gendarmes!

- (I'm sorry, Director.)
- (No!)

Well...

"Pa ni pwoblem!"

TECH: 9mm. Precision caliber.
Military or professional killer.

- You stay there.

TECH: Who's that?
The cleaning lady? Get out!

You're going to mess up the crime scene!
- Well, I do the cleaning like you.

- Get out, and quickly!
- Will the Q-Tip calm down?

I'm going to sweep out his ear canals.

Ooh!

Does he have a sore ear infection? Ooh...

It's not serious, it will pass.

Bad bodyguard, huh?

- She annoys me when she barges in!
I don't want to see her anymore.

- (The Q-Tips are right, the shooter
must have been a professional.)

- Why do you say that?
- (He must have fired from a distance.)

(Otherwise, given the angle, the bullet
would have been found in the ceiling.)

- And the second bodyguard
Franck would've seen him,

he was standing guard right here.

- (Damn it, that's right!)
- We're talking 70-80m,

that's no cakewalk,
- (That's what I'm saying!)

(Check... check...
check... check... check.)

(And bingo. Rifle with scope.
He's a pro, that's for sure.)

- If you please? Check for fingerprints.
- Alright.

- (Prints, a professional guy?
Dream on, don't hold your breath.)

(What I find strange... is that
if Franck was in the garden,

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Mm-hmm?

- why didn't he see the
shooter or hear the shot?)

- What if it had a silencer?
- What if Franck was the shooter?

- Are you kidding?
- He said he was there.

Maybe he was there, and
ran over and said he was there.

- No, you don't know that.
- I always mean what I say.

I've had my eye
on him from the start.

1. He's a former Legionnaire.

2. He kills crocodiles with his bare hands.

He could with gloves too.
- I hate crocodiles.

- (I've gotta get back, they'll miss me.)
- (Be discreet!)

- Thanks, Vero'. This was nice.

- When did you come back in?

- I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry, my job is

seeing to Cappa's
protection and...

I completely screwed up.

- 'Screwed up,' it's not your fault.

The cops said there was a sniper.

- They did?
- Mmm.

- Yeah, but I should've...

I should've noticed something.

Nobody was awake yet,
there was no one around.

- You're quite sensitive,
for an ex-Legionnaire.

- I understood. I understand correctly.

No, what I mean is,
if we go through Guernsey,

with the new tricks from
the European Commission,

it's risky.

I understand!

I tell you I understand!
I understand!

I'M NOT DOING ALL THIS
JUST TO HAVE MY MONEY SEIZED!

- Oh fuck!

Hey! No no! Don't move!

You don't move!

Me? No, you don't move!
Oh, I dunno anymore, hold on:

"Gendarmerie Nationale,"
we don't move for anyone.

- "Gendarmerie Nationale"? You're police?
- Well, yeah.

- Well you're gonna laugh: me too.

- Oh, well too bad for you,
I'm Captain Marleau

- Agent Fontviant, Special Forces.

I was seeing how the killer did it.

- Mind your own business!

- Get real. Judge Gauthier asked me
to ensure Cappa's protection.

FRANCK: Yeah!

What a narvalo,* that one!
* ROMANI FOR IMBECILE

Fuck, we don't need
the Ministry of Justice!

Fuck, what a mess!
You couldn't tell me about Franck?

Whatever, I nearly fucked up
your Special Forces agent!

- Would you have let\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h
me put one in place?\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h

No! I'd like to place
one for you somewhere!

- For security reasons, the fewer
people who knew, the better.

- Oh, all right. Trust reigns!
Well thanks!

It's not the hotel
that's selfish, it's you!

It fucking disgusts me!

Oh, by the way...

You wanna know about Cappa?

Why Cappa gives you his
information drop by drop?

You don't know? No?

Check out Guernsey.

- What is it?

- Well, in Guernsey...

Well shit, I forget.

It doesn't matter. The less
we know, the better off we are.

MANSOUR: Mrs Petrovna, no,
we haven't found your phone yet.

I'm sorry, but if it's not necessary to-

- You there! You! You have it.

She's the one who
stole my phone!

- Véronique, what
do you have to say to that?

- It's not me, I swear! I've
never even stolen my guys from boys!

I may be ugly but I'm not dishonest!

- Be warned, Véronique.
I take this matter very seriously,

especially since there've been reports
of items missing from guest rooms.

- But it's not me! Don't fire me, boss,
I have abortions to pay off.

- You have to call the police.

- No! Mrs Petrovna, I promise
to settle this matter very quickly.

I- I'll take care of it personally.
RUSSIAN This is disgraceful!

- Véronique...
- She annoys me with her phone.

Here's her phone.

- You...!
- Well yeah, me.

- MADAME PETROVNA!
MARLEAU, MOCKING: 'Madame Petrovna!'

- MADAME PETROVNA!
That's it, it's all settled! Ha ha!

- Oh, well here you are, boss!
- Yeah! I'm getting rid of my nerves.

- Really?
- Oh yeah!

- Me too, I'm pissed off.
With the Cyrillic there.

It doesn't matter.

I asked a friend of mine
at the Pussy Riot Fan Club.

She translated all the texts to Olga.

And then I understood what
her little shenanigans were.

- Mrs Petrovna's private
affairs are no business of mine!

- I'll explain it to you anyway.

So, actually, Olga is
married to an oligarch.

Her husband is in Moscow,

taking advantage of the fact
that she is stuck in France. To do what?

To dump her! Dump her
without a single kopeck for alimony

and replace her with a hooker.

- I'm not listening!
- It doesn't matter, I haven't finished.

So, what's she been doing?
She says, "Oh, what is this scandal?!

I'm not going to let it happen!"
So she calls an ex of hers,

who she knew when she was in
the KGB, and who still works for Putin.

He goes, "Okay, I'll give you a hand."

And if the husband doesn't
give away half his fortune,

hey presto!
He's on the front line in Ukraine.

- You finished? I'm not interested!
I'm warning you:

one more incident like that and...
- 'And' what?

- And I'll fire you! There!
Investigation or no investigation!

"PA NI PWOBLEM," BOSS!

MANSOUR: That's right!
"Pa ni pwoblem"!

- I said that guy had
a KGB face, it wasn't stupid.

COME ON, GO FOR IT!

- How are you my girl?

Who did this to you? Huh?
Who did this to you, Valeria?

Is it Ludo?

That's it, it's Ludo.
- It's not what you think.

-How dare this scumbag?
-I beg you...

We had an argument.
This is how it turned out.

He was ashamed,
he begged my forgiveness.

He swore it wouldn't happen again.
- I don't give a damn!

He will regret it!
- Dad! Please, dad!

- Franck!
- NO!

- I have a problem, Captain.
- Did you mix colors and whites?

- I wish. No, it's Simon.
He's in 'Godfather mode.'

Not like real life; like in the movie.

- I'm in a relationship, I don't understand.

- He asked me and Eddy
to give Ludo a beat-down.

Yeah. He said:

"Just leave him alive enough so
that my grandson isn't an orphan."

- So, how's it my fault?
What's the problem?

- (I can't!)
- (Why?)

- I'm an agent under orders
of an investigating judge!

Don't do it, what
can I tell you?

But if you don't do it,
it'll show him who you are.

- I do, I don't-- what?
- I don't know, it's your shit job.

Do it.

At least Ludo finds out
what it's like to get beaten up.

- Yeah, when you put it that way-
- And know what? You'd benefit.

You find out why he beat up
his wife. You tell Cappa.

Why not? ITALIAN Capisce?
- And I'll be kaput.

CROSSTALK

- Good night. Go on, go pee.
Then I get a coffee.

♪

- Can you happily accept that?

- It's mainly Dad's
reaction that scares me.

- But aren't you tired of it?

You took mom's place without
complaining when she died.

Is this all you want?

Taking care of Dad,
your husband, your son?

Don't you want something else?
Don't you want to live for yourself?

- Who are you talking about?

Don't take me for a fool.
I see you have doubts about marriage.

- No.
- Laura...

Don't lie to me.

What're you afraid of?
That Philippe isn't the right one?

- It doesn't matter.

♪

KNOCKS
LOCK BEEPS

- It was a shock. His ear was bleeding-

- Good morning.\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h
- Good morning.\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h

- So?\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h

EDDY & FRANCK TALKING

EDDY: It's strange.

Well? What did you
want to talk to me about?

- I'm canceling everything.

CAPPA: You're what?
- The wedding.

- Is this a joke?

- I think that, ultimately,
I'm not in love with Philippe

- You realize that now?
It's almost here...

We came here for it, I booked
the whole hotel, our friends confirmed.

What is wrong with you? My god!

- I don't want this life,

I don't want to end up
like mom or Valeria!

Anyway, why don't you say it?

you're happy I'm marrying
Philippe because he'll launder

your money in the "back office."

- Not at all!

I'm happy because I think
with Philippe you will be happy.

- Sure. Like Valeria with Ludo.

- You like another guy. Right?

Who is it?

CAPPA: Yeah, having kids-- I swear!

I don't understand my daughters.
One who clings to an asshole,

the other who changes
her mind at the last minute.

Eh, I spoiled them too much.

My wife would know
what to do if she was still there.

- What did she have, your wife?

- Fucking cancer. She smoked
like a fireman, it was her only fault.

- Your lunch, sir.
- Take it away, I'm not hungry.

- Very good, Mr Cappa.
- Hup hup hup! You didn't say

what was on Mr Cappa's menu.

What is it?

- We followed the orders of your
daughter Valeria, Mr Cappa--

the diet menu of grilled salmon
and small vegetables.

- Oh, well go ahead and show us.

MARLEAU: Woooo!

Ratatouille, Clos du Roi style!
Way to kill an appetite.

SHE LAUGHS

- I swear, when I got
the plate from the kitchen

it was grilled salmon
and small vegetables.

- But be specific--
with fries? There were no fries.

- No, small vegetables.

That's off the table.
Then what did you do?

- Well, as usual:
I- I- I- I put Mr. Cappa's meal

in the freight elevator and
picked it up on this floor.

- Where is the freight elevator?
- In the kitchens, downstairs.

- Down there?
- Yeah.

- Right. You get the salmon. Did
you lift the cloche and look underneath?

- No, it makes it get cold.
- Oh?

- Stop acting like a TV cop, Vero'!
We must warn Mr Mansour.

- Two minutes, I'm going to
check something. I'll be back.

Farmed salmon.

SNIFFS

Hormone-treated.

- Counselor d'Abbie, Simon Cappa.

Yeah, you remember the lawsuit
that was brought against me

for the shit at
that factory? Yeah.

In Morbihan,* yeah.
* DEPT/REGION IN BRITTANY

Yes, of course, the case
had been dismissed. Eh,

what was the name
of the plaintiffs?

I'll wait.

Look!

ANGRY SHOUTS, WHISTLING

ALL: NO, NO, NO, TO EXPLOITATION!

- NO, NO, NO, TO EXPLOITATION!

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hMAIDS IN
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hA RAGE

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hRAID THE MATTRESS
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWE WANT EUROS

NO, NO, NO, TO EXPLOITATION!

MAIDS ON STRIKE

- Yeah, that's good, girls!
Let's go:

One small "badge."

- NO, NO, NO, TO EXPLOITATION!
- I'M COMING!

- NO NO NO...

- COMRADES, CO-STRUGGLERS, 59-62,*
* DEPARTMENTS

FORWARD WITH THE...
ALL: STRIKE!

- COME ON!

ALL: ♪ WE ARE HERE! WE ARE HERE! ♪

♪ EVEN IF THE BOSS DOESN'T
WANT IT, WE ARE HERE! ♪

MAIDS ON STRIKE

MARLEAU: WE ARE HERE!\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h

ALL: ♪ WE ARE HERE! ♪
MARLEAU: WE ARE HERE!

ALL: ♪ WE ARE HERE! ♪

♪ EVEN IF THE BOSS DOESN'T
WANT IT, WE ARE HERE! ♪

RAID THE MATTRESS
WE WANT EUROS

- WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT?

NO TO
EXPLOITATION

ALL: BOOO!
- WHAT?

- WE HAVE DEMANDS, MR DIRECTOR!
ALL: YES!

- BETTER WORKING CONDITIONS!
ALL: YES!

AND COLLECTIVE NEGOTIATION
OF SCHEDULES, FOR ALL THE GIRLS!

ALL: YES!
- WHOA!

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
WE HAVE ALWAYS WORKED HERE

FEWER
ROOMS

IN PERFECT HARMONY,

EMPLOYER TO EMPLOYEE!
BOOS, CATCALLS

BOOS, CATCALLS

- VERO' GAVE US THE IDEA

BECAUSE SHE HAS
A POLITICAL CONSCIENCE!

ALL CHEER
HE LAUGHS - THAT?

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Me, I don't have
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\ha political conscience,

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI simply have
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\ha conscience!

ALL LAUGH
- Yes, that's it!

Another one of your dirty
tricks! You want my ruin,

financial and mental? Is that it?
- Yeah!

BOOS, HOOTING

- WHAT?
- Yes, yes...

- YES? WELL?
- They're right, eh?

CROSSTALK They're talking
about their work, it's hell!

- I'm not doing this,
I'm calling the judge!

- I agree! A leopard
doesn't change his spots!

And the investigation?
What do I do?

- I don't care about the investigation!
Simon Cappa should be killed!

Look at me! Look at
me-- I don't care. Yeah.

- 'Yeah'! THPPT Nothing to worry about.

- Where's Françoise Dulac?
- Girls? You seen Françoise?

- What?\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h

FRANCOISE?

She's not here.

ALL: NO, NO, NO, TO EXPLOITATION!

NO, NO, NO, TO EXPLOITATION!
WHISTLES

- Excuse me?

Do you know where I can
find the pianist from the bar?

- Mmm... No. Sorry.
- Thanks.

- NO, NO, NO, TO EXPLOITATION!

NO, NO, NO, TO EXPLOITATION!

NO, NO, NO...

MARTIN: Will you ready an order for 304?

WOMAN: Very well.

- Martin?

- Laura?

I didn't mean to lie to you.

You mistook me for the pianist,
and I didn't want to... I didn't dare.

If I had said I was a bellboy,
you wouldn't have wanted me.

- That's what you think of me?
That I'm just a little bourgeois

who despises everyone?

I lied to you, too.
I'm not on vacation.

I came to get married.

My father is not your average
businessman. He's Simon Cappa.

A mobster.
- It's not possible.

- I'm canceling, Martin.

I'm going to cancel everything
because it's you I love.

You opened my eyes.

- I love you too.

- You here, Francoise?

Apologies. I didn't mean to interrupt.

- It's not what you think.
- Yes, it's what you think.

- Well, what happens at the hotel stays
at the hotel-- isn't that what they say?

So, 'Finit-o de mariag-o'?

So that's why your
father was angry earlier.

When he finds out it's because
of you, he's gonna make a face!

DELIGHTED CACKLE

No?

- You'll say nothing?

- What're you saying?
That looks like bribery of a maid.

Show me.

For the strike fund,
I'll give you a receipt.

- So, Joseph Abkarian is your intermediary

on the Libyan contracts matter.

- Joseph Abkarian.

I don't know him.
- I didn't dream it!

You told me he was moving your money!

- Don't shout like that, you'll explode.

- I requested his extradition!
Do you know what a mess this is?

- Did you say 'Emmanuel Abkarian'?

- 'Joseph.'

- Joseph. Joseph Abkarian.

I know a Joseph, but 'Manoukian.'
He's my tailor, he isn't involved.

- Right, let's be clear: we're not
going to be able to continue like this.

- I know you're in a hurry,
but, I swear, we have time.

- I warn you: either you stop
your little game--

or else I'll look into Guernsey.

- What, 'Guernsey'?

- You know.

- Yeah? What's happening in Guernsey?
- It's a place things happen.

LAUGHS
- Careful, you know nothing.

- On the contrary.

Don't underestimate me.

- Don't underestimate me.

- Are you coming to the
wedding? I'm counting on you.

- How are you?

Anything good to pass on?
Life is beautiful?

Coaching Cappa for
a remake of 'The Big Blue'?

What's going on?
- Simon went to meet with the judge.

Eddy went with him.

It's earned me some free time.
- I can see that.

It's strange that Martin is banging
the nicer Cappa, Laura.

- What? Laura and Martin are together?

- Well, wake up! I'm not going to recap the
episode, it's not the commercial break.

MARLEAU: Well I never!

You didn't miss.
- Once I hit the gas

it's hard for me to stop.
- Well yeah, I see that. WHISTLES

Oh! You're completely stupid!
I'm all wet!

Well, 'wet,' I mean you splashed water me.

- (You were right!
A good slap-- it's important!)

(Yes! Ludo passed right
by our table. He knows

Simon is in the process
of transferring all he has

to his daughters behind the
judge's back. He's moving ahead with it.)

- (Oh! He must have said to himself:

('Bravo! Here comes the money!'
He must be rubbing his hands.)

- (He'll never see the color of that
money. Simon has planned everything.)

- (Yes, that's why he was
pissed off, he knows that one-

hits his wife,) that bastard.
- (He has a motive--

he needs to take care of
Simon before the girls

get all the money.)
- (Well yeah, what you say's not stupid.)

(What a loser.)

(Grrr, smack that...)

- What now? I made up 38
rooms in an hour instead of 42?

- No no no, it's not that.

We have a new problem
in the Renaissance Suite.

MANSOUR: A big problem! Come on.
- Come with me.

You don't get paid if it's nothing.

No...

Poor kid.
Is it a workplace accident?

TECH: You again? You're kidding me!

Get out, you're barred, what the hell!

- You're starting to piss me off.
Capt. Marleau, Gendarmerie.

This is my investigation,
you're the one who gets out!

Q-Tip!

What does the coroner say?
- Françoise was probably poisoned.

- Something in the
coffee, but the cause...?

- That's why she died.
It wasn't chicory in it.

Poor kid.
FRANCK: Come on! CLAPS

We're taking it all to the lab.

- (You must never eat
the food of the rich.)

- Do you think they
got the wrong person?

Was Simon the target?
- You just have to ask.

Was it Simon who poisoned you?
Wink if it's him.

Not cooperative. She's old-fashioned.

Oh...

Hey! Come see a little something!

Oh, he put on his pretty
glasses. You have conjunctivitis

or did you have some bad hash?
- I'm not going to dance the lambada.

- Why are you sad?
- A woman was just murdered in my place.

- A maid was killed and
you're sad? Are you kidding me?

- I've always had sympathy
for the little people,

I wasn't born with a
silver spoon in my mouth.

- 'The little people.'
What do the little people say?

OK, so did you order the coffee?
- Yes, but I was late for the judge

and I didn't touch it.
- That's it.

- Poor woman.
She didn't ask for this.

- I didn't ask you anything. Beat it.

Nuh... Pathetic little man.

CUSTOMER: In a hotel of
this standing, it's a scandal!

- What does this one want?

- Ah, miss: the shoes haven't been waxed!

- No. And you're no more than a bitch.

You can't figure things out on your own?

Want to take lessons in custody?

"Gendarmerie Nationale,"
Capt. Marleau. Get lost.

Go on, get lost!

Well, that's how it's done.

THE LAW IS ME!*
* AFTER LOUIS XIV, 'THE STATE IS ME'

Like taking a shower, feels good!
- This is an abuse of power, Captain.

- For once the chicks
generate a little power.

What do you think about it?

He doesn't care.

He said the food was fine.
- Who's that?

- Martin! He said he sent up
Cappa's order in the freight elevator.

- But how did the poison get into
the cup? He's going to have to explain.

- Yeah.

Well, get dressed! Shut the door.

Phew.

Oh, there you are.
- Yeah?

- Martin Pierre took off,
we've looked everywhere..

- Shit. He isn't at home?
-No, he doesn't answer his phone.

MOBILE RINGS

Oh! Excuse me.

Yes?

KNOCKS
FRANCK: Yes?

- I'm going to change.
FRANCK: See you soon.

(OK, here we go.)

RADIO CHATTER

Where are you?

Hey!

Where are you?

You're not in uniform?

- Hey-- not OK! Turn around!

Harassment!

No, I'm not.

I don't like uniforms.

Because I don't like things
that are too smooth.

- Why did the kid take off like that?

He did something he feels bad about.
-Yes, that's not crazy.

Yeah, that's true-- you're a genius!

Really brainy.
Who was in the best position to

dissolve blood in Dracula's bathtub,

stick a knife in a painting
of Jesus and Mary,

stick a rat under the cloche, and
poison the coffee? Who?

SNAPS
- Martin!

In addition, he could've lifted
the magnetic "badge."

No no, it's as plain as the
nose on your face.

- Well yeah, like mine, it's so big
you can't see anything else.

It's crazy.
But having said that--

what would his motive be, our Martin?

Why would he want to
do-in Cappa? I don't see it.

In addition...

can you see him as a sniper,
80m from the target

with a sniper rifle,
like Lee Harvey Oswald?

- Oh no no, hold on:
we don't know about Oswald.

I did my research.
CHUCKLES

It turns out it was the CIA that
orchestrated Kennedy's murder.

- Yeah, right. In the Bay of Pigs

with Marilyn Monroe?
- Oh, no no no. It's scientifically proven.

I can tell you, on the Super 8 film
you can clearly see

another shooter is lying in wait...

- Yeah yeah yeah yeah,
I know the 2nd shooter theory,

I'm not crazy.

Well, let me make a call to the judge.

So, my phone...

Shit, I don't have my phone.
Can you hand me my phone?

- Yeah.

MARLEAU: Thanks.
- 'welcome.

- Hello mister judge, it's Marleau

I'm calling 'cause I'd like to know

who is 'Martin Pierre.'
Pierre like 'stone.'

No, he's a bell boy.
Yes, well that's how it is.

Look for something on him, a
connection to Cappa- it doesn't matter!

All that. Everything in
his past, I'll take everything.

- Véronique?

- There's no more Véronique!
Smoke and mirrors, was Véronique!

Capt. Marleau, Gendarmerie.
I have 2 or 3 questions.

You're a cop?
- Yeah, but there I'm a troll,

I can do Cassandra too if I want:

MYSTICALLY
I came to tell you

that the love of your life, your Martin,

is now my Public Enemy Number 1.

- For the murder of the chambermaid?
- Really? Was that him too?

No, because he tried to kill your dad.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hSHE LAUGHS

- Martin didn't do that, you're crazy!
- Maybe, I have a peanut up here,

let's just say
Martin isn't too sharp either.

- It's impossible!
We love each other.

He wouldn't have done that.
- Well why'd he run away like a thief?

- I know why. He was afraid of dad.

- Yeah, from your boyfriend's face,
he looked like he had the heebie-jeebies.

Now what happened?

- I had the bad idea of
telling Dad everything,

that I was canceling the wedding
because I was in love with Martin.

- (Oh shit!) What did\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h
your father say?\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h

- He didn't say anything.
Nothing at all.

It was worse.

- He wasn't going to dance
the mazurka.* Upsy-daisy!
* POLISH FOLK DANCE

May I?

Not the mazurka, the waltz, or the tango.

With all the money he spent
on your wedding, it's understandable.

- I told Martin it was dangerous.
- Mmm.

- Is that why he ran off?
To escape? It's possible.

Still, I need to talk to him anyway.

Don't hurt him, please. Otherwise...
- 'Otherwise' what?

You'll go see your father?

Be careful, don't act like a Kardashian,

it doesn't work with me. Come off it!

Not gonna happen!

OPENING OF 'THE INTERNATIONALE.'

No?

What's the matter?

Did Ukraine win or what?

Are you getting drunk?

Oh...

HEAVY RUSSIAN ACCENT
Cop?

- Me cop-- you're not
surprised like the others?

- 'Undercover agent.'
MARLEAU MURMURS

I saw it straight away.
- Infiltration-- you know it?

Like your KGB buddy?
- 'FSB.'

KGB now FSB.
MARLEAU: Alrightski.

Sir? Can I have the
same as Madame? Because...

BARTENDER: Certainly!
- ...it seems to be working.

MARLEAU: How very kind.

MARLEAU: I'll try to catch up with you.

GERMAN
MARLEAU: Thanks a lot.

HEBREW
To life!

OLGA: Anyway, me and
Dimitri Stipanevitch-- innocent.

Problem with my husband.

- I saw it on your phone.
I was the one who swiped it.

CHUCKLES

- When attempted murder
on gangster Simon Cappa,

me and Dimitri Stipanevitch
in meeting on terrace.

Alibi both.
-Alibi? Alibi, it depends.

What time were you both there?
- 7 am.

7:05?

The morning.

MARLEAU: So, you saw the shooter?
- No shooter. No one on terrace.

- No one?

LE MARSEILLAISE RINGTONE
Oh!

A call. Who's calling me?
I apologize.

. . .
A call. Who's calling me?
I apologize.

My forensic doctor. I
have a small intervention.

. . .

Yeah, what is it?

What? Botulinum acid?
The stuff we put in wrinkles?

Yeah.
Oh good. Thanks.

-You, injection-- very good idea.

You very very need!

- An ugly person with or
without wrinkles is still ugly. But OK.

Ugly is "beautiful!"

"Girl power!"
GLASSES CLINK

LAUGHS
GLASSES CLINK

No, but frankly,
you should see my clinic.

6TH PLASTIC\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h
SURGERY\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h
CONVENTION\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h

So many biddies I don't
know where to put them.

- Business going well, doctor?
Got to beat them off with a stick?

- Hello, madame. I'm speaking
to my colleagues this afternoon.

- A speech?

And do you do Botox?

Cuz, I have real 'puma wrinkles.'
-No, frown lines. 'Lion wrinkles.'

- Oh!

You're a connoisseur.

So, the laboratories must
be doing well for you, right?

- Who are you?

- Captain Marleau,
"Gendarmerie Nationale."

You really into dough?

Is that why you're having
trouble with Cappa?

- Don't use that tone with me!
- Don't get upset,

you'll ruin your facelift.
FEEDBACK

1, 2. THPPT It doesn't work.
FEEDBACK

BUMPS MIC

Well, I tell you...

Botox-- you have to
know how to get it, right?

- Yes, obviously.
- That's right.

Did you know the maid,
Françoise, was killed with Botox?

- It's not me, I swear it's not me!

- Why couldn't it be you,
because you're too nice, Dr Gentil?

- Botox, there's plenty here.
These are free samples from the labs.

- Step aside.

Oh, well shit. Bottles are missing?
- I don't know.

Anyone could come
and help themselves.

'Anyone can-' so you
leave it lying around like that?

You can have a bag snatched.

Yeah, alright: Confiscated.
- What?

- Yeah! One for me, one for my
girlfriend, and one for my boyfriend.

-You can't!
- I'll come back for the rest.

And don't touch!

Hey!

It wasn't just the doctor who could
poison the coffee. Hold this for me.

Botox was everywhere,
it was an "open bar."

Anyone could've done it.

Yeah, those who knew
about the convention,

including Martin.
- Including Martin.

GPS: You have arrived.
- I can clearly see that,

since I have arrived!
There's no more road! She's stupid.

So...

Well...

Bills.

HONKS

Oh!

"STOP"!

It makes a racket, your thing!

Do you know her, the Dulac mother?

FARMER: For sure I know her,
Danièle. The poor thing.

Since her stroke,
she's not doing well.

- And her sister Françoise,
you know her too?

- Oh yes, I know everyone.
Our village isn't big!

So what happened?

- We don't know! Otherwise
I wouldn't be here.

How long have they been living here?
FARMER: Always. They were born here.

- All right. They have a
husband, a girlfriend, friends?

Do they see people?
FARMER: Never.

I was surprised to see
Simon Cappa arrive at her house,

dressed like a rich guy.
- Simon Cappa?

What the hell
was he doing there?

- It's been centuries since he left.

He was there with his grandson.

A box of chocolates.

- A box of chocolates?
- Yeah.

- Belgian chocolates
or Swiss chocolates?

- What did you do to Martin?
- Nothing.

- Did you hurt him?
Is that why he's disappeared?

- You're crazy.

- If you did something
to him, I'll kill you.

- This shit, your Martin,

He's the one who staged
these threats on me!

The little bastard even shot at me!
- I don't believe you.

- Oh no? He pulled
the wool over your eyes.

My poor girl, he wasn't who
he said he was, he used you.

- It's not true.
CAPPA: You're- you're so naive.

You believe in fairy tales.
- You pig!

Why do you always ruin everything?

- Stop!

- And why? Why would
Martin be so angry with you?

- Enough.

You leave!

- LET GO OF ME, I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!

LET GO OF ME, HELL!

I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!

LET GO OF ME!

- This isn't OK! You think
you're at the BAC* or what?!
* ANTI-CRIME BRIGADE

Stupid!

What is this mess?

- We caught him at a roadblock.

He was trying to get to
his family in Morbihan.

Thanks a lot Marleau, without
you I would never have gotten here.

- What did I do?
- You had the inspiration to ask me to

dig into Martin Pierre's past.

- What's this, your expense reports?
- A report on a lawsuit filed

by the Pierre family against
one of Cappa's companies.

It's very interesting.

- It's too long, sum it up for me.
- No no! Read it, read it!

You'll find out why
Martin Pierre threatened

and then tried to kill Simon Cappa,

and why he murdered
Francoise Dulac by mistake.

We got our man, Captain!
- Yeah. If you say so. Huh?

So, Romeo, what do you
have to say in your defense?

- Leave me alone.

- I wouldn't mind.

But if you want to go
console your sweetheart,

your poor little rich girl

who hasn't stopped crying
since she found out you're here,

you'll have to help me help you, right?

I read the trial report.

It sucks.

Seventeen years old,

seeing his mother slowly
die of cancer. Yeah, it sucks.

- Cancer didn't kill her,
it was Simon Cappa.

It was in his dirty factory that
she breathed all that asbestos shit!

- Oh.

If lungs of workers could be used
as evidence, that would be good.

I guess Cappa didn't care
about safety standards.

- For him, human life is worthless
as long as he can have money.

- Entrepreneurs are not humanists.

Even charity is just
for them to save on taxes.

And then... there's the
presumption of innocence.

- Justice is rotten.

At trial he was there
with his big company lawyers

and got away without a scratch.

- How? What?

What am I hearing? Justice has two speeds,

as Aymeric Lompret* would say? LAUGHS
* COMEDIAN

Sorry.

I'm sorry about your mother.

- She was suffering so much
that she cut her wrists in the bath.

- Well.

Your mother was really brave.

So... How did you know
Cappa was coming to the hotel?

- From a friend who works there.

He told me Cappa had booked in.
I made a fake CV and got hired.

- And you started sending your threats.

That's it.

A bathtub full of blood.
Like your mother's suicide?

A Mater Dolorosa* stabbed in the heart.
* MARY THE GRIEVING MOTHER

A metaphor of her murder.

Mmm!

Poisoning with rat poison.
Like poisoning with asbestos?

- When I found myself in
front of him for the first time...

he had no clue.

My mother's death
was a detail for him.

He said Thank You
and gave me a big tip.

MARLEAU: What were
you looking for?

You wanted him to say, 'I'm sorry honey,

your mother died because of me'?
What did you want?

- For him to be afraid.
For him to suffer like I did.

- He received your message loud and clear.

- Why all this, if you know?
- Well, because.

He had a big advantage
over me in deciphering your threats.

He knew what was
on his conscience.

Guilty for sending threats, alright.
But for the murder of Francoise

and the attempted
murder of Cappa? No way.

- Where are you getting this from?

- From my radar. It's not him.

But he had motive,

and opportunity, everything fits perfectly.
- Perfectly?

And the testimonies of Olga and
Franck in the garden? Both of them?

- So?
- Fuck, you really don't want to see!

- I don't understand anything.

I'll indict Martin Pierre for
threats, attempted murder,

and the murder of Francoise Dulac!
Period!

- 'Period'? Suck it, Judge!

I'm back!

Yes, so I notice.

I thought the culprit had been arrested.
- Meh.

- Martin Pierre.
I never would've believed it.

- Charming, but no warmth.
So, where's Cappa?

DOOR OPENING

- You come in without knocking?
- I knock without asking too.

- Yeah...

- And your diet?

- How about a game of
Hide & Go Fuck Yourself?

- A show by the great Daniel Mermet!*
* WRITER, DOCUMENTARIAN

Ah! Hey, you fucked me real good!

- Happy I could help.

- It's the same for me.

No, frankly, you finding
out before me that

it was Martin who was
threatening you, that's rare.

It must have been funny
when your daughter told you

she was in love with him.
- What are you saying?

- Well... it's not every day
a daughter tells her father:

AS HYPER-LAURA
'Dad, I'm going to marry

AS HYPER-LAURA
the boy whose mother you killed.'

- My daughter fell in love with
the wrong person. It's a private matter.

As for the mother of Martin Pierre,

the case has already been
judged, the case was dismissed.

(You can't touch me.)

- (If you say so.)

HYPER-LAURA
May I?

- You're welcome.

- Hey! No smoking,
the boss will yell at you.

- I didn't believe in love at
first sight, and I met Martin.

It must have been awful for
him when he found out who I was.

- You're fine.

He didn't disown you.

You're still tops with
your father even if he's pissed.

- Looks like I'm finding out
who my father is for the first time.

I used to tell myself he wasn't so bad,
because he didn't get his hands dirty.

Now I know.
He's a killer. A monster.

- You don't choose your parents, and
you don't choose your family either.

- If I were Martin I would've
done it with my own hands.

- Martin didn't do it! He was
in a rage, but he's not a killer.

- You think that? Really?

- You want me to swear? I'll spit on the
ground. But I warn you-- you clean it up.

I'm off, see you.

SPLASHING

- Here you are, ladies.

- This one, for example.

42 years old, advertising director,

divorced, 2 children.

He's good!
- I don't really feel like it.

- Your Ludo, asshole more more more!

You're getting divorced!

- Are you getting divorced?

Hey, "mazel tov,"
we have to celebrate!

We can enjoy your
sister's wedding buffet.

- What can I do for you, Sergeant?
- I'm not a Sergeant I'm a Captain.

I wanna talk to your kid, where is he?
- I think he's in the gym.

MARLEAU: In the gym?

Does he like pumping iron?

Well then!

Let's go find Harry Belafonte Potter.
CHUCKLES

Are you there kid? Ho-oh!

Hey!

Harry Belafonte Potter! Woo hoo?

Aaah!

I knew you wouldn't
be in the gym.

What are you reading?

- I finished 'Crime and Punishment'
and starting 'The Brothers Karamazov.'

MARLEAU: I knew their twin sisters.

It's outsider art.

You like family murder stories.

Are you a little ADHD or HP,*
something like that?
* INTELLECTUALLY GIFTED

- 'HP'?
- Mmm.

CLOCK CHIMING

- HP, as in Psychiatric Hospital?
SHE LAUGHS

- No, as in High Humorous Potential.

You're a funny guy, aren't you?

Didn't you go for a walk in the
village with your grandfather?

- Yes. He showed me
the farm where he grew up.

- And you didn't meet anyone?

A woman, for example?

- A rather old woman.
But a little bit...

- That is to say?
- I dunno. A little Alzheimer's, I'd say.

- Oh.

No, it wasn't Alzheimer's,
she had a stroke.

How was the atmosphere?

- Very strange. She spoke to me
like she thought I was Grandpa.

Everyone tells him I look
a lot like him at the same age.

- Oh yeah?

So what did she tell you?
- I didn't completely understand.

She talked about my great-uncle
Fernand, one of Grandpa's brothers.

He was disabled.
He died in a fire.

- Really?

Try to remember, you
have a good memory.

What exactly did she say?

- She said that she was very angry with
her sister Françoise because of that.

I don't remember
anything else because

Grandpa changed his mind and
told me to go read in the garden.

- Out in the garden when it's duck cold*?
* VERY COLD

- On the way back,
he didn't say a word.

- Hmm.

- You didn't pick up his tics.

- What tics?
- Well, when a cop talks to you,

you answer.

He hasn't tainted you yet.

Can I borrow a book from you?
- Yes, if you want.

- All right...

Well, I'll take this one.

It's for propping up my nightstand.

See you!

Have you seen King Kong?
- Uh, no, no.

- Where did he go?

Ho, Franckie!

Where are you? You here?

Hey?

There's something I
need you to find out.

Whatever you have in
departmental archives.

- Me?
- Not you, your soul,

if you have one on you.
Obviously not,

so take your shower,
and go find your soul.

Then you're going to find out if
there's any information on a fire

that would have taken
place in the 70s or 80s

on a farm in the country.

And above all, on the death of a Cappa,
but not this one. Fernand Cappa.

- No, but... libraries aren't my thing.

I'm more of a... man of action.

- Whatever. What are these stupid clichés?
You lock yourself into labels!

What is it? You're a muscle-bound nerd!
- Stop making fun of me!

- I'm not! Who told me about Oswald
and Kennedy, the second killer?

You! Thanks to you, I know what.

So take a shower. And close your door,
otherwise it's harassment!

Unionized comrades!
And non-unionized.

I brought you together today
in this little General Assembly,*
* FRENCH PARLIAMENT

not to vote on renewal of the strike,
because I imagine that's a no? Fine.

No, we're here to try
to understand what happened

to our comrade Simon Cappa,
here present,

why he was the victim of an
attempted murder. With premeditation!

You all right? Are we
getting over it? It's good.

For that, I took the liberty, Mr Judge,

to request a reconstruction--
if you agree of course.

- I do.
- Very kind.

Let's start with Comrade Eddy,
who is neither a slob nor a pretty face.

Where were you during the shooting?
-In the corridor.

- Go ahead, honey.
There: 'Eddy goes to the corridor.'

Now let's ask Comrade Franckie
where he was during the shooting.

- In the garden.
- Well, go ahead. Ladies and gentlemen,

"Franckie goes to Hollywood Garden."

That's done.

Now please observe
this magnificent asshole.

That one.

Right next to Mr Judge.
GAUTHIER: Hmm.

Police Forensics removed the bullet.

It's 9mm, pro format.
It's not run of the mill.

So let's follow the trajectory to guess

where the shooter was.

He was... there! Over there!

YOU OKAY, OLGA?
Exactly where Olga is.

So then.

The shooter, if he wasn't
where Olga is, possibly,

where was he?

Not in the garden,
because there was Franckie.

And he wasn't in the
hallway, because there was Eddy.

So where was he?

Do you have a little idea?

No?

So, I'll bet you a thousand Louis* that...
* 20,000 FRANCS, OLD MONEY

he was nowhere.

Why?

Because there
was never a killer.

Never. No.

Why? Because it's magnificent staging,

orchestrated by our comrade
Simon Cappa, here present--

let's give it up for him! Well done.

MUFFLED SHOT, SHELL CLINKS

Simon is sowing confusing!

He had just fabricated
proof, the son of a him. Yes!

Proof that he had been shot.
LAUGHS

After that...

all we had to do was
wait until morning.

See you!

(And then...

infinitely less painful than a
contraction before childbirth,

the manly gesture

from the sigma male,
van Goghian inspiration.)

METAL ON FLESH

YELLS

Poor darling.

- What happened?
- Someone shot at me, trying to kill me!

Honestly-- congrats on
the bullet in the wall,

the shredded ear and,
especially, Eddy's testimony.

That was some great art.
Wasn't it, Judge?

- But he was already getting threats,
what was the point of adding more?

- Because he's an opportunist.
- I'm flattered.

- You're welcome!

Pretending to be the victim
of an attempted murder,

all this to be able to kill whoever
he wants, whenever he wants,

without being suspected.

Isn't that nice?

Get what I'm saying?
You haven't read the script?

Not professional, eh?
I'll explain.

When he realized that it was
Martin who was threatening him,

he said to himself:

'That's a good plan,
I'm going to ride the wave.'

And when we found the
body of Françoise, poisoned

with the coffee intended for him,

What did we say to each other?
- That Martin had killed her.

- That it was Martin who killed her. But--

there is always a 'but.'

It was without counting on
the genius of Franckie,

who put me on the
trail of the fake real shooter.

- You're as resourceful as a cop
as you are pitiful as a maid.

- That's not wrong. But
it's not over yet. Last question:

Why does this guy, who has always

slipped through the
fingers of the police,

why does he take
the risk, one fine day,

of being arrested for
murdering someone,

and risk the slammer for life?

Why?
- You tell me.

- Well, because your heart was touched.
Yes.

Because one fine day--
or perhaps one night,

in a palace you would've
fallen asleep-- all of a sudden,

out of nowhere-- more precisely,
coming from adolescence--

there emerges not a black eagle,*
* PROB REF TO SONG 'L'AIGLE NOIR'

but a woman,
a woman he had not seen

in a very long time.

- Francoise?

Françoise Dulac?

- She wanted to avoid you.

It really pissed you off.
It hurt your little heart.

And you went to see her.

So, in the local newspaper,

dated July 21, 1972, the
title, 'Fatal fire in Mareuil.'

A fire on a farm, caused by
a candle or something, I don't know.

The toll was one death.

A certain Fernand Cappa,
physically disabled.

Does that remind you of something?

- All my life, I blamed myself
for his death, and it was her fault.

Françoise.

- But... Simon...

What have they done to
you, my poor little one?

- Because of her stroke, she no
longer knew what era we were in.

- She told me not to say anything,
but I won't ever forgive Françoise.

CRYING

Poor Fernand!
SNIFFLES

. . .

CLOCK CHIMING

- Go. Go read in the garden.

- The evening of the fire, Françoise
was looking after my brother

while my parents were
dealing with the harvest.

- She lied to everyone, the little tart!

She wanted to go
and have fun at the dance!

- When the fire started, Françoise
wasn't there, but at the dance.

EDDY: He's there, sir.

- Come on, let's go.

CAPPA: Fernand couldn't
walk, he couldn't get out.

He burned to death.

Françoise said she tried everything
to carry him outside, but couldn't,

he was too heavy.

All my life I blamed myself
for not staying at home that night,

instead of going out
to do my shady business.

I told myself that I
could have carried Fernand.

You realized your brother
died because of Françoise,

that's why she had to die?

- She had to pay.

CAPPA: I invited her
for coffee in my suite.

I had Botox from
the conference room.

SHE COUGHS

- Sorry, Simon.

I was 16, I didn't realize.

- We're not going to
rewrite history, that's done.

Come on.

She drank it in one gulp.
She had always been greedy.

- While you, greed is
really not your thing.

SIREN

You're going to go for 5 years,
really let him have it?

He's going to get more
for the killing, right?

GAUTHIER: Are you kidding? Now he's
ready to spill everything he can.

Next to it, the "Panama Papers"
is small-time.

- Yeah, and you're going
to make a deal with that?

- Whatever it takes, Marleau.

- She's classy, your Justice.
"First class."

SIREN

- There you go. This is for you.
MARLEAU: Well,

the bubble's burst, welcome
to real life, rich kids.

- Our father had his money tied up.
So much the better.

- Well you surprise me! What are
the Cappa sisters going to do now?

- Me, divorce, to begin with.
- Well, that's good.

And you?
- I saw Martin in prison. I still love him.

- In any case, he'll get off lightly,
given his background.

- I won't abandon him.

- We'll talk about it when you get
tired of queuing for the visiting room.

Hmm?

MANSOUR CHUCKLES, HUMS

Hey boss, not too upset?

- Oh, no!

- I'm sorry about screwing up the hotel,
but you, as boss, don't seem worse off.

- Oh, well, thank you Véronique-- Captain!

As of now you're never
working here again.

- Mm-hmm, come on!
I bet you'll miss me.

- Of that I'm sure. Yes.
But not right now.

Have nice day, see you soon!

- Popular education,* who didn't want it? Eh?
* NON-TRADITIONAL EDUCATION

- MANSOUR, DON'T BE
DEAF, DON'T BE DENSE!

MANSOUR: Oh no! NO NO
NO! NONE OF THAT HERE!

- MANSOUR, DON'T BE
DEAF, DON'T BE DENSE!

- MANSOUR, DON'T BE
DEAF, DON'T BE DENSE!

MANSOUR: NONE OF THAT HERE!

- YOU STOP THAT! MARLEAU!

STOP IT! MARLEAU! MARLEAU!

MAIDS ON STRIKE\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h

- STOP! MARLEAU!

MANSOUR: MARLEAU!
- "Danke schon."

Glasses!

Thank you comrade!
- Marleau!

- Come on, hup!

- MANSOUR, DON'T BE
DEAF, DON'T BE DENSE!

HONKS