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1
00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:08,033
[lively bluegrass music]
2
00:00:08,033 --> 00:00:09,800
- Yeah!
3
00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:13,000
*
4
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:14,233
[cheers and applause]
5
00:00:14,233 --> 00:00:15,300
- Thank you, Brooklyn!
6
00:00:15,300 --> 00:00:16,867
We just want
to let you guys know
7
00:00:16,867 --> 00:00:18,967
we're playing the Hudson Valley
BrewGrass Festival
8
00:00:18,967 --> 00:00:20,433
this weekend in Cooperstown--
9
00:00:20,433 --> 00:00:23,500
48 hours of nothing but
craft beer and bluegrass music.
10
00:00:23,500 --> 00:00:26,000
So come on down. We'd love
to have you, all right?
11
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:27,400
*
12
00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:29,100
- Yay!
13
00:00:29,100 --> 00:00:30,300
- Sounds like torture.
14
00:00:30,300 --> 00:00:31,633
- No, I'm excited.
15
00:00:31,633 --> 00:00:33,533
- You're gonna go?
- Of course I am.
16
00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:36,267
I've put Josh through so much,
and he's been amazing.
17
00:00:36,267 --> 00:00:37,567
He comes
to all my work stuff.
18
00:00:37,567 --> 00:00:39,167
I really need
to show up for him.
19
00:00:39,167 --> 00:00:40,867
Plus, it's a really big deal
for the band.
20
00:00:40,867 --> 00:00:42,233
- Well, that's great, Liza.
21
00:00:42,233 --> 00:00:43,833
I have three words
of advice:
22
00:00:43,833 --> 00:00:45,267
extra toilet paper.
23
00:00:45,267 --> 00:00:47,700
- [gasps]
Oh, my God, Iris.
24
00:00:47,700 --> 00:00:48,900
- Who's Iris?
25
00:00:48,900 --> 00:00:50,533
- Oh, a girl I dated
for 11 weeks.
26
00:00:50,533 --> 00:00:52,067
- Wow, almost
a full trimester.
27
00:00:52,067 --> 00:00:53,367
- Come say hi.
- Do I have to?
28
00:00:53,367 --> 00:00:54,867
- Yes, yes, yes, yes,
yes, yes, yes.
29
00:00:54,867 --> 00:00:56,033
You must come.
30
00:00:58,700 --> 00:01:00,067
both: Hey!
31
00:01:00,067 --> 00:01:01,400
- Great set, dude.
32
00:01:02,833 --> 00:01:05,400
- Are you sure that you can't
just, uh, blow off work
33
00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:07,233
and drive up with me
and the boys tonight?
34
00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:08,800
- Oh, I wish I could,
but I promise
35
00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:10,900
I'll leave straight from
the office tomorrow.
36
00:01:10,900 --> 00:01:12,533
I promise.
- Okay.
37
00:01:12,533 --> 00:01:14,200
Okay, okay, okay,
I believe you.
38
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,133
- Yeah, dudes!
39
00:01:16,133 --> 00:01:18,667
This weekend is going
to be epic, man.
40
00:01:18,667 --> 00:01:20,500
I'm going full "Deliverance."
41
00:01:20,500 --> 00:01:23,533
I'm not bringing a tent,
toothpaste, or toilet paper.
42
00:01:23,533 --> 00:01:26,700
Just me, the music,
and the sky.
43
00:01:26,700 --> 00:01:28,833
- You know how
that movie ends, right?
44
00:01:28,833 --> 00:01:30,200
- What movie?
45
00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:33,200
[funky music]
46
00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:40,733
*
47
00:01:40,733 --> 00:01:42,400
[phone chimes]
48
00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:44,133
- [whispers] So cute.
49
00:01:44,133 --> 00:01:45,733
[phone chimes]
50
00:01:45,733 --> 00:01:49,133
[energetic music]
51
00:01:49,133 --> 00:01:50,400
- It is a big deal,
Charles.
52
00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:52,067
Being featured
in "By the Book"
53
00:01:52,067 --> 00:01:55,133
solidifies your place among
the literary intelligentsia.
54
00:01:55,133 --> 00:01:56,600
- You're gonna be
in "By the Book"?
55
00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:57,500
In "The Times"?
56
00:01:57,500 --> 00:01:59,233
- No, Liza, in "Cat Fancy."
57
00:01:59,233 --> 00:02:00,767
- Yes, it's "The Times."
58
00:02:00,767 --> 00:02:02,633
- That's the first section
I read every Sunday.
59
00:02:02,633 --> 00:02:04,500
- Well, I can use
all the help I can get.
60
00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:05,600
Deadline's Monday morning.
61
00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:07,067
- Well, you know the basics.
62
00:02:07,067 --> 00:02:08,267
What's on your nightstand?
63
00:02:08,267 --> 00:02:09,467
How did you fall in love
with literature?
64
00:02:09,467 --> 00:02:10,733
Which artist
is most underrated?
65
00:02:10,733 --> 00:02:12,333
- That's my favorite
question.
66
00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:14,400
- Just be sure to include
one of our books.
67
00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:16,133
You know, maybe
"The Male Feminist."
68
00:02:16,133 --> 00:02:18,833
You want to come across as
intelligent but not pretentious.
69
00:02:18,833 --> 00:02:20,433
That's our brand.
70
00:02:20,433 --> 00:02:22,500
- It's funny; books are such
a big part of my work life.
71
00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:24,667
I can't remember which ones
are a big part of my life life.
72
00:02:24,667 --> 00:02:26,433
- Well, you could start
with the classics--
73
00:02:26,433 --> 00:02:28,067
you know, Tolstoy,
Pynchon, Hume.
74
00:02:28,067 --> 00:02:30,600
Agatha Christie or
Dashiell Hammett might be cute.
75
00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:32,233
- What about "Infinite Jest"?
76
00:02:32,233 --> 00:02:34,133
- Uh...oh.
77
00:02:34,133 --> 00:02:35,467
- Yes, Liza?
78
00:02:35,467 --> 00:02:37,267
- Well, someone just said
"Infinite Jest."
79
00:02:37,267 --> 00:02:39,967
Oh, was it Colson Whitehead
or Tina Fey?
80
00:02:39,967 --> 00:02:41,767
Either way,
I'd steer clear.
81
00:02:41,767 --> 00:02:42,867
- [mutters] Okay.
82
00:02:42,867 --> 00:02:44,133
- Thank you, Liza.
83
00:02:44,133 --> 00:02:45,600
- And I know
it doesn't sound edgy,
84
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,433
but I'd throw in some
unexpected nonfiction.
85
00:02:47,433 --> 00:02:49,333
Maybe Doris Kearns Goodwin or--
86
00:02:49,333 --> 00:02:50,500
ooh, Rick James' memoir.
87
00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:52,500
There's a quirky
curveball.
88
00:02:54,100 --> 00:02:55,300
I've had a lot of time
89
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:56,633
to come up
with my own answers.
90
00:02:56,633 --> 00:02:58,133
You know, in case
anyone ever asks.
91
00:02:58,133 --> 00:03:00,767
- Three, two, one.
92
00:03:00,767 --> 00:03:02,300
Well, no one asking.
93
00:03:02,300 --> 00:03:04,167
I have a meeting
with Hugh Shirley.
94
00:03:04,167 --> 00:03:06,800
I guess I'll know he's here
when my assistant tells me.
95
00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:08,267
- That's me.
96
00:03:08,267 --> 00:03:11,267
[upbeat music]
97
00:03:11,267 --> 00:03:14,067
*
98
00:03:14,067 --> 00:03:16,867
- Oh, Diana,
you look hot.
99
00:03:16,867 --> 00:03:17,967
You have a date tonight?
100
00:03:17,967 --> 00:03:19,700
- Oh, just a meeting
with Hugh Shirley.
101
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,333
- Oh, I should probably
be in on that.
102
00:03:21,333 --> 00:03:22,667
- Oh, no, no,
that's not necessary.
103
00:03:22,667 --> 00:03:24,700
It's just market--
strictly marketing.
104
00:03:24,700 --> 00:03:26,300
- Oh.
105
00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:29,400
I see.
I got ya.
106
00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:30,733
Well, I'm here
if you need me.
107
00:03:30,733 --> 00:03:31,967
- Thank you.
108
00:03:31,967 --> 00:03:33,633
I won't.
109
00:03:33,633 --> 00:03:34,933
[sighs]
110
00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:42,767
- That's better.
111
00:03:42,767 --> 00:03:43,967
[clicks tongue]
112
00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:50,233
- [sighs]
113
00:03:55,567 --> 00:03:56,933
That's better.
114
00:03:56,933 --> 00:03:58,900
- Are we looking
at any Mid-Atlantic coverage,
115
00:03:58,900 --> 00:04:00,133
or is it just the Northeast?
116
00:04:00,133 --> 00:04:01,267
- Well, we'll start
in New York City,
117
00:04:01,267 --> 00:04:03,067
Bluestockings downtown.
118
00:04:03,067 --> 00:04:04,333
It's pretty much home base
119
00:04:04,333 --> 00:04:05,867
for lesbians, social workers--
same thing.
120
00:04:05,867 --> 00:04:08,967
And then we'll hit Park Slope,
Northampton, Ptown.
121
00:04:08,967 --> 00:04:10,833
- How about
Midwestern college towns?
122
00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:13,400
A huge portion of my audience
are transgender academics.
123
00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,967
- Absolutely--Ann Arbor,
Madison, St. Paul.
124
00:04:15,967 --> 00:04:17,900
And there is a huge market
for this book
125
00:04:17,900 --> 00:04:19,067
in Seattle and Portland--
126
00:04:19,067 --> 00:04:20,800
actually, anywhere
in the Pacific Northwest
127
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:22,533
within ten miles
of a vegan market.
128
00:04:22,533 --> 00:04:24,500
- Great. I'd like to wake up
some straight men too.
129
00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:25,967
Maybe we could do
surprise drop-ins
130
00:04:25,967 --> 00:04:28,267
at a VFW hall or strip club
here and there.
131
00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:34,600
Diana?
- Huh?
132
00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:36,600
- Are you okay?
- Yup, absolutely.
133
00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:38,867
You were saying
strip--strip clubs.
134
00:04:38,867 --> 00:04:41,567
- I'm sorry.
You need to know something.
135
00:04:41,567 --> 00:04:44,300
No, no, you deserve
to know something.
136
00:04:44,300 --> 00:04:45,667
[sighs]
137
00:04:45,667 --> 00:04:49,800
I am objectifying you
right now...
138
00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:53,067
erotically,
and I'm so sorry.
139
00:04:55,333 --> 00:04:57,267
- Thank you
for telling me that.
140
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,333
- Okay, now let's continue.
141
00:05:01,333 --> 00:05:02,933
- Yes, uh, please do.
142
00:05:02,933 --> 00:05:04,867
- Have lunch with me
tomorrow.
143
00:05:04,867 --> 00:05:06,633
I swear I'll make you
pay for half.
144
00:05:06,633 --> 00:05:09,900
- I--I think I can,
uh, be free.
145
00:05:09,900 --> 00:05:11,067
So it's a date.
146
00:05:11,067 --> 00:05:12,433
[laughs nervously]
147
00:05:12,433 --> 00:05:15,633
Right?
It--it's a date?
148
00:05:15,633 --> 00:05:17,733
- Yes.
- Yes, yes, a date.
149
00:05:19,333 --> 00:05:22,600
[lively bluegrass music]
150
00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:23,667
- Josh, hello?
151
00:05:23,667 --> 00:05:25,067
Hey--oh, hey, hey.
152
00:05:25,067 --> 00:05:26,733
Sorry, the signal
just keeps cutting out.
153
00:05:26,733 --> 00:05:27,867
Which tent are you in?
154
00:05:27,867 --> 00:05:31,467
[loudly]
Which tent are you in?
155
00:05:31,467 --> 00:05:33,267
What do you mean, drop a pin?
156
00:05:33,267 --> 00:05:35,267
Like, on the ground?
157
00:05:35,267 --> 00:05:36,400
Josh?
158
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:37,467
Josh? Hello?
159
00:05:37,467 --> 00:05:39,400
Hello, can you hear me?
160
00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:41,133
Ugh.
161
00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:42,933
[music playing in the distance]
162
00:05:42,933 --> 00:05:44,233
[phone ringing]
163
00:05:44,233 --> 00:05:47,067
Hey, I'm by the--
uh, the bratwurst tent.
164
00:05:47,067 --> 00:05:50,300
- I like mine
with sauerkraut and onions.
165
00:05:50,300 --> 00:05:51,733
- What?
166
00:05:51,733 --> 00:05:53,667
- I'm kidding.
It's--it's Charles.
167
00:05:53,667 --> 00:05:55,933
I'm so sorry
to interrupt your weekend.
168
00:05:55,933 --> 00:05:58,700
I just had a quick question
about this "By the Book" thing.
169
00:05:58,700 --> 00:06:00,733
- Oh, uh, yeah.
No problem.
170
00:06:00,733 --> 00:06:02,733
Uh, what question
do you need help with?
171
00:06:02,733 --> 00:06:05,233
- "What was your favorite book
as a child?"
172
00:06:05,233 --> 00:06:08,100
Uh, I don't want to lie.
173
00:06:08,100 --> 00:06:09,433
- Why would you lie?
174
00:06:09,433 --> 00:06:11,067
- I was never much
of a reader,
175
00:06:11,067 --> 00:06:13,200
but I loved baseball,
so I just told everybody
176
00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:15,733
that my baseball coach said
reading would ruin my eyesight
177
00:06:15,733 --> 00:06:17,700
and I'd never hit
a curveball again.
178
00:06:17,700 --> 00:06:19,767
- I would have guessed
you were a bookworm.
179
00:06:19,767 --> 00:06:22,133
- Yeah, when--when your father
owns a publishing house,
180
00:06:22,133 --> 00:06:23,633
most people think that.
181
00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:25,433
Um, I--I did read comic books
at the dinner table,
182
00:06:25,433 --> 00:06:26,800
which he hated.
183
00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:30,100
- So not reading
was your form of rebellion.
184
00:06:30,100 --> 00:06:31,467
- Yeah, until I was 12,
185
00:06:31,467 --> 00:06:32,767
and then I found
more creative ways
186
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:33,867
to torture my parents.
187
00:06:33,867 --> 00:06:35,733
- Well, if you're going to lie,
188
00:06:35,733 --> 00:06:37,700
which I'm not suggesting,
because--
189
00:06:37,700 --> 00:06:39,067
- Because lying is bad.
190
00:06:39,067 --> 00:06:42,867
- Uh, yes but, in certain cases,
acceptable.
191
00:06:42,867 --> 00:06:45,533
- Even necessary.
Go on.
192
00:06:45,533 --> 00:06:46,700
- I would go with
"To Kill A Mockingbird."
193
00:06:46,700 --> 00:06:48,233
- Excellent idea.
194
00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:50,300
I don't think that the Hulk
is going to cut it.
195
00:06:50,300 --> 00:06:51,633
- [laughs]
- Boo!
196
00:06:51,633 --> 00:06:53,400
- Oh, my God.
- What? Are you okay?
197
00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:54,767
Liza?
- Yeah.
198
00:06:54,767 --> 00:06:56,233
It was just my boyfriend
playing a joke on me.
199
00:06:56,233 --> 00:06:57,567
- Oh, I'll let you go.
200
00:06:57,567 --> 00:06:59,233
Thank you so much
for your help.
201
00:06:59,233 --> 00:07:01,800
- It was my pleasure.
I'll see you on Monday.
202
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:04,067
- Yeah.
I'll see you Monday.
203
00:07:04,067 --> 00:07:05,667
- Sorry.
204
00:07:05,667 --> 00:07:06,933
- Mm.
- Sorry I was working.
205
00:07:06,933 --> 00:07:08,500
- I'm just so excited
to see you.
206
00:07:08,500 --> 00:07:09,933
I can't believe
you're actually here.
207
00:07:09,933 --> 00:07:11,433
- Of course I am.
I wouldn't miss it.
208
00:07:11,433 --> 00:07:12,700
You guys didn't play yet,
did you?
209
00:07:12,700 --> 00:07:14,133
- No, no, no,
tomorrow, 2:00 p.m.
210
00:07:14,133 --> 00:07:15,133
Be there.
211
00:07:15,133 --> 00:07:16,233
- Front row, center.
212
00:07:16,233 --> 00:07:17,233
Number one fan!
213
00:07:17,233 --> 00:07:18,667
- Number one groupie!
214
00:07:21,333 --> 00:07:22,733
This is it.
215
00:07:22,733 --> 00:07:24,700
I pitched it myself.
216
00:07:28,067 --> 00:07:30,367
Welcome.
217
00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:32,067
- Wow.
- [chuckles]
218
00:07:32,067 --> 00:07:33,867
Okay. Um...
219
00:07:33,867 --> 00:07:36,300
Should we blow up
the air mattress?
220
00:07:36,300 --> 00:07:37,733
- There is a hole in it.
221
00:07:37,733 --> 00:07:40,267
No worries, though,
because...
222
00:07:40,267 --> 00:07:42,300
the ground is soft.
223
00:07:42,300 --> 00:07:43,333
- [chuckles weakly]
224
00:07:43,333 --> 00:07:45,700
Soft ground usually means...
225
00:07:45,700 --> 00:07:46,767
Yeah, it's wet.
226
00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:48,333
- But we're roughing it.
227
00:07:48,333 --> 00:07:50,067
- Yeah, we are.
228
00:07:50,067 --> 00:07:53,067
- You're such a trouper.
You know that?
229
00:07:53,067 --> 00:07:56,467
That is one of the things
I love most about you.
230
00:07:56,467 --> 00:07:58,067
- That's me.
I'm a trouper.
231
00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:04,700
- Guys?
- Whoa!
232
00:08:04,700 --> 00:08:06,067
- I can't do this.
233
00:08:06,067 --> 00:08:08,067
Please, I'm not made
for roughing it.
234
00:08:08,067 --> 00:08:09,767
All right, I don't know
how to start a fire.
235
00:08:09,767 --> 00:08:11,067
I'm covered in bug bites.
236
00:08:11,067 --> 00:08:12,867
And a raccoon ate
all my Clif Bars.
237
00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:14,233
I'm gonna die out there.
238
00:08:14,233 --> 00:08:15,733
- What happened
to going full "Deliverance"?
239
00:08:15,733 --> 00:08:17,067
- Yeah, that was
until I got this bite.
240
00:08:17,067 --> 00:08:18,167
- Oh, my God.
241
00:08:18,167 --> 00:08:19,600
- Look at the size
of that thing.
242
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:20,933
It's like it's laying eggs
under my skin.
243
00:08:20,933 --> 00:08:22,800
Don't make me go
back out there.
244
00:08:24,633 --> 00:08:27,167
- Ugh.
I brought some calamine lotion.
245
00:08:27,167 --> 00:08:28,767
- Oh, Liza.
246
00:08:28,767 --> 00:08:30,167
You're the best.
247
00:08:30,167 --> 00:08:31,900
Times like this,
I'm glad you're old.
248
00:08:31,900 --> 00:08:34,300
- Oh!
- "Er," older and wiser.
249
00:08:34,300 --> 00:08:36,367
Look, you guys
can still get freaky.
250
00:08:36,367 --> 00:08:38,467
Don't mind me, all right?
I won't make it weird.
251
00:08:38,467 --> 00:08:40,733
Look at these bad boys.
Instant privacy.
252
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:47,800
[upbeat country music]
253
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:49,267
- Good morning.
- Hey.
254
00:08:49,267 --> 00:08:50,467
Good morning.
255
00:08:50,467 --> 00:08:52,433
[gasps]
Just what I needed.
256
00:08:52,433 --> 00:08:54,233
Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
257
00:08:56,167 --> 00:08:58,433
- Wow. It's cold.
258
00:08:58,433 --> 00:09:00,167
And also not coffee.
259
00:09:00,167 --> 00:09:01,733
- I couldn't find
any coffee.
260
00:09:01,733 --> 00:09:03,533
It's coffee stout.
261
00:09:03,533 --> 00:09:05,067
- Great, morning beer.
262
00:09:05,067 --> 00:09:06,933
- [laughs] You're at
BrewGrass Festival, Liza.
263
00:09:06,933 --> 00:09:08,200
That's how we roll.
264
00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:09,833
We're gonna have
so much fun today.
265
00:09:09,833 --> 00:09:12,067
We are going to check out
the clogging circle.
266
00:09:12,067 --> 00:09:13,767
We're going to hit up
the whittling tent.
267
00:09:13,767 --> 00:09:15,900
There's the cornhole
tournament.
268
00:09:15,900 --> 00:09:17,433
- I'm just gonna hope
that's something different
269
00:09:17,433 --> 00:09:18,500
from what I'm imagining.
270
00:09:18,500 --> 00:09:19,767
- Well...
271
00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:21,233
- Where do I go pee?
272
00:09:21,233 --> 00:09:22,633
- Porta-Potty that way.
273
00:09:22,633 --> 00:09:25,467
- Okay.
274
00:09:25,467 --> 00:09:26,967
- [laughs]
Good luck.
275
00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:29,100
- I'm a trouper!
- Yes, you are!
276
00:09:30,833 --> 00:09:33,233
[phone buzzes]
277
00:09:40,933 --> 00:09:43,400
- Ooh, this one
is full. Ooh.
278
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,967
Trust me; you're gonna want
to go in the woods.
279
00:09:48,733 --> 00:09:50,833
- [moaning]
280
00:09:50,833 --> 00:09:52,300
[phone ringing]
281
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:55,100
Oh, God.
282
00:09:56,167 --> 00:09:57,533
Hi, Charles.
283
00:09:57,533 --> 00:09:59,367
- You're really putting me out
on a limb here.
284
00:09:59,367 --> 00:10:03,467
- [laughs] Well, it'll be
a "By the Book" first.
285
00:10:03,467 --> 00:10:06,967
Plus, the Hulk is cool!
286
00:10:06,967 --> 00:10:09,067
Although Robert Louis Stevenson
did it first
287
00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:10,800
with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
288
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:14,033
- So now I'm wondering
about my answer to
289
00:10:14,033 --> 00:10:15,900
what book changed my life.
290
00:10:15,900 --> 00:10:18,767
And I should probably say
"Freedom,"
291
00:10:18,767 --> 00:10:21,100
but then I would
have to explain why.
292
00:10:21,100 --> 00:10:23,300
- That's a great book.
How did it affect you?
293
00:10:23,300 --> 00:10:26,600
- It was the last book
my wife read
294
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,033
before she left me.
295
00:10:28,033 --> 00:10:29,967
- Oh, no.
No, no, no, that's awful.
296
00:10:29,967 --> 00:10:32,233
- Yeah, I--I still can't quite
bring myself
297
00:10:32,233 --> 00:10:33,900
to shake Jonathan Franzen's
hand.
298
00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:35,467
And, I mean, look, I'm sure
299
00:10:35,467 --> 00:10:38,900
I may have had something to do
with her walking out--
300
00:10:38,900 --> 00:10:42,733
- Okay, well, there are
two sides to every story.
301
00:10:42,733 --> 00:10:46,500
But she walked out
on her daughters too,
302
00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:47,967
and that's...
303
00:10:47,967 --> 00:10:49,333
intense.
304
00:10:49,333 --> 00:10:51,833
- Yeah, well, Pauline was
definitely intense.
305
00:10:51,833 --> 00:10:55,367
Uh, always looking to find
her place in the world,
306
00:10:55,367 --> 00:10:59,367
and "Freedom" inspired her
to--to find hers.
307
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:01,167
In L.A., apparently.
308
00:11:01,167 --> 00:11:03,200
- Hey, what are you doing
out here?
309
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:04,900
The whittling tent
just opened.
310
00:11:04,900 --> 00:11:06,933
Let's go rip
a huge bong hit
311
00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:09,067
and go whittle, huh?
312
00:11:09,067 --> 00:11:10,900
Come on.
313
00:11:10,900 --> 00:11:14,133
- Relationships are complex.
314
00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:19,533
- Do you think that we could get
"The Male Feminist"
315
00:11:19,533 --> 00:11:20,767
into elementary schools?
316
00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:22,367
- Well, I could talk
to my friend
317
00:11:22,367 --> 00:11:24,067
at the Department of Ed.
318
00:11:24,067 --> 00:11:26,867
It's certainly a book
every third grader should read.
319
00:11:26,867 --> 00:11:28,733
- Yeah, that would be great.
320
00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:31,200
You know, Diana...
- Yeah.
321
00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:34,100
- You channel
this masculine energy,
322
00:11:34,100 --> 00:11:35,133
which normally I'd hate,
323
00:11:35,133 --> 00:11:37,967
but yours is stoic and brave,
324
00:11:37,967 --> 00:11:40,067
yet deeply vulnerable.
325
00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:42,533
A barely feminine mystique,
if you will.
326
00:11:42,533 --> 00:11:44,800
- You know, my grandmother
always said I reminded her
327
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:46,533
of an Indian chief.
328
00:11:46,533 --> 00:11:48,400
- Oh!
329
00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:51,500
- She was a violent racist,
but I took it as a compliment.
330
00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:53,800
- That racist
was on to something.
331
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:56,200
Yeah, she saw you.
332
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:57,767
And I see you.
333
00:11:57,767 --> 00:12:00,733
Do you see you?
334
00:12:00,733 --> 00:12:02,800
- Oh, I see me.
335
00:12:05,933 --> 00:12:07,433
- I would like to see you--
336
00:12:07,433 --> 00:12:09,567
with your full permission
and consent--
337
00:12:09,567 --> 00:12:13,167
naked, raw, and hungry.
338
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:15,833
- You want to suck
on my peen pipe?
339
00:12:15,833 --> 00:12:19,133
- It's funny, 'cause
it's shaped like a penis.
340
00:12:19,133 --> 00:12:21,267
- I like how the balls
are the bowl.
341
00:12:21,267 --> 00:12:22,133
- [giggles]
342
00:12:22,133 --> 00:12:23,433
both: That's hilarious.
343
00:12:23,433 --> 00:12:24,700
- Oh, we got to go.
344
00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:25,900
We're gonna miss
the clogging circle.
345
00:12:25,900 --> 00:12:27,200
- Wait, can we come?
346
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:28,700
- Oh, my God,
I really want to clog.
347
00:12:28,700 --> 00:12:30,700
- Uh, yeah, sure.
348
00:12:30,700 --> 00:12:32,233
- Oh, uh, you guys think
349
00:12:32,233 --> 00:12:33,833
you might want
to put on a shirt?
350
00:12:33,833 --> 00:12:36,533
Or a blouse or maybe even
a sheath, maybe?
351
00:12:36,533 --> 00:12:38,300
You know, there's gonna be
a lot of bouncing.
352
00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:39,733
I wouldn't want you
to hurt yourselves
353
00:12:39,733 --> 00:12:40,967
or anybody else.
354
00:12:40,967 --> 00:12:43,667
both: Huh.
That's hilarious.
355
00:12:43,667 --> 00:12:44,767
- Come on!
Let's go clogging!
356
00:12:44,767 --> 00:12:45,900
- Come on, girl.
357
00:12:45,900 --> 00:12:47,100
- Okay.
- Let's go.
358
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,233
- Okay.
359
00:12:48,233 --> 00:12:49,267
- Is this okay?
360
00:12:49,267 --> 00:12:50,300
- Yeah.
361
00:12:50,300 --> 00:12:51,433
- Is this okay?
362
00:12:51,433 --> 00:12:52,500
- Yes.
363
00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:53,933
- How about this?
364
00:12:53,933 --> 00:12:55,467
- It's all okay, Hugh.
Just put it in.
365
00:12:55,467 --> 00:12:56,600
- Actually, you know what?
366
00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:57,867
This is feeling
too phallo-centric.
367
00:12:57,867 --> 00:12:59,333
I feel like
I'm dominating you.
368
00:12:59,333 --> 00:13:01,400
I want you on top of me.
- Okay, let's do that.
369
00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:02,800
- Okay.
- Okay.
370
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:04,300
- Ah, that's--
I think that's better.
371
00:13:04,300 --> 00:13:05,767
Good for you?
- Yes, it's good for me.
372
00:13:05,767 --> 00:13:07,400
- Yes. Wait.
373
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:09,067
Do you feel like you have
enough agency in this power--
374
00:13:10,333 --> 00:13:11,333
- No more talking.
375
00:13:11,333 --> 00:13:12,133
- Okay.
376
00:13:12,133 --> 00:13:13,267
- Yes.
- Yes?
377
00:13:13,267 --> 00:13:15,433
- Yes!
Okay, this is more like it.
378
00:13:15,433 --> 00:13:17,200
Okay, this is what
we're talking about.
379
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:19,967
Yes, this is it.
Yes! Yes!
380
00:13:19,967 --> 00:13:23,067
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
381
00:13:23,067 --> 00:13:24,300
[crunching sound]
382
00:13:24,300 --> 00:13:25,933
- [screaming]
383
00:13:25,933 --> 00:13:27,533
- Oh, my God,
what just happened to you?
384
00:13:27,533 --> 00:13:29,167
- I don't know,
but it's bad.
385
00:13:30,533 --> 00:13:31,800
- I'm gonna get my phone.
386
00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:32,967
Just gonna get my phone.
- Ah!
387
00:13:32,967 --> 00:13:34,367
- No? Okay, I won't.
- Ah!
388
00:13:34,367 --> 00:13:36,233
- I don't mean to complain,
but my feet
389
00:13:36,233 --> 00:13:38,400
have never been stomped on
so many times in one day.
390
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,667
- I mean, at least
the rain chilled out.
391
00:13:40,667 --> 00:13:42,167
- Are they just with us
392
00:13:42,167 --> 00:13:44,300
the entire weekend
from now on?
393
00:13:44,300 --> 00:13:45,500
- Unknown.
394
00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:46,967
What I do know
is that it's time for you
395
00:13:46,967 --> 00:13:48,467
to lose to the top.
396
00:13:48,467 --> 00:13:50,500
- [scoffs] Not enough moonshine
in the world for that.
397
00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:51,667
[band playing]
398
00:13:51,667 --> 00:13:52,900
- That's my cue.
Wish me luck.
399
00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:53,900
- Mwah! Good luck.
400
00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:55,200
*
401
00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:57,400
- Hey, excuse me.
Will you spray us, please?
402
00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:58,533
- Oh, me too.
403
00:13:58,533 --> 00:14:05,667
*
404
00:14:05,667 --> 00:14:07,067
both: Thank you.
405
00:14:07,067 --> 00:14:10,867
- * I wore my boots out
walkin' *
406
00:14:10,867 --> 00:14:14,567
* Wore my heart out talkin' *
407
00:14:14,567 --> 00:14:17,700
* I felt the pain,
and I broke the chain *
408
00:14:17,700 --> 00:14:22,867
* But I've still got
a long way to go *
409
00:14:22,867 --> 00:14:29,900
*
410
00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:34,067
- * Been on the road
till tomorrow *
411
00:14:34,067 --> 00:14:37,267
* Through the joy
and the sorrow *
412
00:14:37,267 --> 00:14:40,400
* Came through the flood,
and I walked through the mud *
413
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:45,667
* But I still got
a long way to go *
414
00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:52,633
*
415
00:14:52,633 --> 00:14:56,400
* Been in the back room
dealin' *
416
00:14:56,400 --> 00:15:00,400
* Been a long hook reelin' *
417
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:01,700
* Out in the shed,
and I... *
418
00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:03,067
- Howdy, folks!
419
00:15:03,067 --> 00:15:04,533
We're the Bedford Avenue
Country Boys.
420
00:15:04,533 --> 00:15:06,067
Y'all want to hear
some bluegrass?
421
00:15:06,067 --> 00:15:09,100
[cheers and applause]
422
00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:12,467
[upbeat bluegrass music]
423
00:15:12,467 --> 00:15:14,467
- Oh.
424
00:15:14,467 --> 00:15:17,333
*
425
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:20,067
Aw.
426
00:15:20,067 --> 00:15:22,067
Oh.
427
00:15:22,067 --> 00:15:23,333
Uh...
428
00:15:23,333 --> 00:15:27,933
*
429
00:15:32,067 --> 00:15:33,533
- Oh, uh, I need that charger.
430
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:34,933
- I was here first.
431
00:15:34,933 --> 00:15:36,733
Sorry, not sorry.
432
00:15:36,733 --> 00:15:37,800
- [grunts]
433
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,333
- Ow!
434
00:15:39,333 --> 00:15:40,400
Rude!
435
00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:47,900
[bluegrass music playing]
436
00:15:47,900 --> 00:15:49,067
- Uh, Liza?
- Charles!
437
00:15:49,067 --> 00:15:50,333
I am so sorry.
438
00:15:50,333 --> 00:15:51,667
I meant to send that text
to my boyfriend.
439
00:15:51,667 --> 00:15:53,067
We must have cross-texted.
440
00:15:53,067 --> 00:15:54,533
- Uh, yeah,
I guess we must have.
441
00:15:54,533 --> 00:15:55,900
- I'm so sorry.
442
00:15:55,900 --> 00:15:57,567
I'm at this bluegrass festival
in Cooperstown,
443
00:15:57,567 --> 00:15:58,467
and my phone died.
444
00:15:58,467 --> 00:16:00,367
- Well, it--it sounds like
445
00:16:00,367 --> 00:16:01,967
you're having fun, though.
446
00:16:01,967 --> 00:16:03,133
- Uh...
447
00:16:03,133 --> 00:16:04,333
No, not really.
448
00:16:04,333 --> 00:16:05,733
It's, uh--it's not so great.
449
00:16:05,733 --> 00:16:07,200
It's really muddy,
450
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,233
lots of mosquitoes,
no plumbing.
451
00:16:09,233 --> 00:16:10,767
- It's fine, Liza, really.
452
00:16:10,767 --> 00:16:13,767
You know, there is
this great B&B near Cooperstown
453
00:16:13,767 --> 00:16:15,100
called the Timid Whaler.
454
00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:16,767
My girls and I stayed there
last summer.
455
00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:17,767
You'd love it.
456
00:16:17,767 --> 00:16:19,233
- Oh, I don't know.
457
00:16:19,233 --> 00:16:20,467
Leaving here would be...
458
00:16:20,467 --> 00:16:22,733
- [retching]
459
00:16:22,733 --> 00:16:24,067
- Amazing.
460
00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:25,567
- Go have fun,
and enjoy your weekend.
461
00:16:25,567 --> 00:16:28,367
And thanks again
for the help.
462
00:16:28,367 --> 00:16:30,600
I, uh--I couldn't have
done it without you.
463
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:32,467
- No problem.
Sorry for the misunderstanding.
464
00:16:32,467 --> 00:16:35,100
I'll see you on Monday.
465
00:16:35,100 --> 00:16:36,600
[sighs]
Fine, I hip-checked her.
466
00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:38,900
- We have
a zero-tolerance policy
467
00:16:38,900 --> 00:16:40,267
when it comes to violence here.
468
00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:43,267
- Except for killer
guitar riffs, right?
469
00:16:46,100 --> 00:16:47,533
- Come on.
470
00:16:47,533 --> 00:16:48,700
- [grunts]
471
00:16:50,967 --> 00:16:54,567
- Okay, so was it more of
a pop or a crack?
472
00:16:54,567 --> 00:16:56,633
- It was a crack.
- Uh, pop.
473
00:16:56,633 --> 00:16:57,967
- Definitely a crack.
474
00:16:57,967 --> 00:17:00,300
We were making love.
475
00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:02,367
Diana was on top,
of course.
476
00:17:02,367 --> 00:17:06,400
And then she arched her back
like a Romanian gymnast.
477
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,133
- It's from rigorous yoga.
478
00:17:08,133 --> 00:17:09,567
I'm very supple of spine.
479
00:17:09,567 --> 00:17:10,700
- Hmm.
480
00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:12,700
- And then I heard
a crack sound,
481
00:17:12,700 --> 00:17:16,167
and I felt a searing pain
in my phallus.
482
00:17:16,167 --> 00:17:18,533
- Oh, my God,
I think she broke your dick.
483
00:17:18,533 --> 00:17:20,067
Doctor!
484
00:17:20,067 --> 00:17:21,600
- I don't understand.
It's not even a bone.
485
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:23,433
- Well, technically,
it's a penile fracture.
486
00:17:23,433 --> 00:17:25,200
It's when the lining
of the penis ruptures.
487
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:26,733
It's not uncommon
when the woman's on top
488
00:17:26,733 --> 00:17:29,100
and her entire body weight
is pounding and bending
489
00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:30,167
the engorged penis.
490
00:17:30,167 --> 00:17:31,733
Is that
what happened here?
491
00:17:31,733 --> 00:17:33,733
- That's what he wanted.
- I wanted what you wanted!
492
00:17:33,733 --> 00:17:35,167
- We're gonna need
to take a sonogram
493
00:17:35,167 --> 00:17:36,600
before we can operate.
494
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:38,333
And to do that,
we'll need you fully erect.
495
00:17:38,333 --> 00:17:40,067
- I don't see how
that's gonna happen.
496
00:17:40,067 --> 00:17:42,100
- We can give you
an injection in your penis
497
00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:43,767
to stimulate an erection,
or if you prefer,
498
00:17:43,767 --> 00:17:45,933
we can give you some privacy
with your girlfriend
499
00:17:45,933 --> 00:17:47,433
while she assists you.
500
00:17:47,433 --> 00:17:49,333
- Get her out of here!
501
00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:58,267
- Liza.
502
00:17:58,267 --> 00:17:59,500
What happened?
503
00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:01,133
- Ugh, I'm so sorry
I missed your set.
504
00:18:01,133 --> 00:18:03,400
I accidentally sexted
my boss instead of you,
505
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:04,933
and I had to call
to explain,
506
00:18:04,933 --> 00:18:07,967
and some "Hunger Games" tribute
tried to take my charger,
507
00:18:07,967 --> 00:18:10,133
and I--I hip-checked her.
508
00:18:10,133 --> 00:18:11,400
- No way.
509
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:13,167
And they kicked you out
for that?
510
00:18:13,167 --> 00:18:14,700
- Why is everyone
so nonviolent here?
511
00:18:14,700 --> 00:18:16,667
We're not that far
from New York.
512
00:18:18,133 --> 00:18:19,533
I'm sorry.
513
00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:21,767
I know that this is
really, really important to you.
514
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:22,800
- Yeah.
515
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:24,133
- I clearly can't cut it.
516
00:18:24,133 --> 00:18:25,967
You have to be in your 20s
to do the festival thing,
517
00:18:25,967 --> 00:18:28,900
and I hate saying it,
but I'm just too old for this.
518
00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:31,067
- Yeah. Yeah.
519
00:18:31,067 --> 00:18:32,900
So am I.
520
00:18:32,900 --> 00:18:34,333
- Really?
- Yeah.
521
00:18:34,333 --> 00:18:35,833
Plus, I stink.
522
00:18:35,833 --> 00:18:37,067
- You do stink.
523
00:18:37,067 --> 00:18:38,333
- Whoa, whoa,
so do you, babe.
524
00:18:38,333 --> 00:18:40,100
- I know.
I know I reek.
525
00:18:40,100 --> 00:18:41,733
- Hmm.
526
00:18:41,733 --> 00:18:45,067
- You know,
my boss mentioned a B&B.
527
00:18:45,067 --> 00:18:46,667
It's 20 minutes away.
528
00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:47,767
- Mm.
529
00:18:47,767 --> 00:18:49,167
- It's supposed to be
really nice.
530
00:18:49,167 --> 00:18:50,433
- Do they have towels?
531
00:18:50,433 --> 00:18:51,833
- Oh, they have towels.
532
00:18:51,833 --> 00:18:53,767
They have towels
for days.
533
00:18:53,767 --> 00:18:56,067
- Oh, tell me more
about these towels.
534
00:18:56,067 --> 00:18:58,567
- And they have pillows--
535
00:18:58,567 --> 00:19:03,900
soft, warm, fluffy
pillows.
536
00:19:03,900 --> 00:19:06,567
- Gabe loves pillows.
537
00:19:06,567 --> 00:19:07,767
- Mm.
538
00:19:07,767 --> 00:19:09,100
- [laughs] Babe.
539
00:19:09,100 --> 00:19:11,167
I love--I love pillows!
540
00:19:11,167 --> 00:19:12,500
I love pillows.
[laughs]
541
00:19:15,267 --> 00:19:16,633
- Uh, Miller?
Liza Miller?
542
00:19:16,633 --> 00:19:18,433
- Excellent.
A room for two.
543
00:19:18,433 --> 00:19:19,767
- Oh, let me get--
544
00:19:19,767 --> 00:19:20,667
- No, I got this.
545
00:19:20,667 --> 00:19:21,867
- Actually, it looks like
546
00:19:21,867 --> 00:19:23,433
your room
has already been paid for
547
00:19:23,433 --> 00:19:24,800
by Empirical Publishing.
548
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:25,867
- Wow.
549
00:19:25,867 --> 00:19:27,700
Your boss is awesome.
550
00:19:32,900 --> 00:19:34,333
- Wow!
551
00:19:34,333 --> 00:19:36,833
This is beautiful!
552
00:19:36,833 --> 00:19:38,200
- Look, we got a basket.
553
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,833
Got some vino.
554
00:19:40,833 --> 00:19:41,833
And a note.
555
00:19:41,833 --> 00:19:42,833
- Oh, I'll open it.
556
00:19:42,833 --> 00:19:44,133
- I got it.
557
00:19:44,133 --> 00:19:45,533
"Dear Liza,
thanks for your help.
558
00:19:45,533 --> 00:19:47,267
"Couldn't have done it
without you.
559
00:19:47,267 --> 00:19:51,133
Soon enough, you'll be the one
answering the questions."
560
00:19:51,133 --> 00:19:52,733
I see.
561
00:19:52,733 --> 00:19:55,767
Put this robe on,
and get into bed.
562
00:19:55,767 --> 00:19:57,467
- Why?
563
00:19:57,467 --> 00:19:59,067
- So we can take a picture
and send it to your boss,
564
00:19:59,067 --> 00:20:00,067
say "thank you."
565
00:20:00,067 --> 00:20:01,367
- Okay.
566
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:02,600
[light music]
567
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:04,333
- * Ooh, ooh, ooh
568
00:20:04,333 --> 00:20:06,967
* Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh, ooh *
569
00:20:06,967 --> 00:20:08,600
*
570
00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:10,300
* Here we go, now
571
00:20:10,300 --> 00:20:15,833
- All right, now why don't you
take all your clothes off
572
00:20:15,833 --> 00:20:18,300
and meet me in the bathroom?
573
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:21,933
- * Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh, ooh *
574
00:20:21,933 --> 00:20:23,000
* Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh
575
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:24,400
- I'll be there in a second.
576
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:25,933
- * Ooh, ooh, ooh
577
00:20:25,933 --> 00:20:28,200
* Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh, ooh *
578
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:29,867
* We can make our own way
579
00:20:29,867 --> 00:20:31,400
* Ooh, ooh, ooh
580
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:33,800
* Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh, ooh *
581
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:34,867
*
582
00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:36,167
* Make our own way
39534
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