All language subtitles for Une Comedie Romantique [2022] [1080p] eng

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Oh, crap...

What are you doing here?

Well...
What are you doing here?

This is my place.

I was in a real struggle.

On Facebook, you were tagged
on holidays until next week.

The caretaker gave me the keys.

You disappear for 3 years
and you show up, unannounced?

Don't sweat it, I'll clean up.
I didn't know.

Shut up, already!
When Camille sees the mess...

- I'll talk to her...
- Clean your damn mess!

I'm on it!
Why the hell are you yelling for?

- She'll be there in 5 minutes.
- Oh, hell... Good morning!

- Goodbye, rather.
- You got to chill.

You're a pig.
Clean this up! Faster!

- I'm on it!
- Give it to me, come on.

Go clean there.

It's just quick declutter.
Why freaking out?

You were to arrive next week.

You're a pig, look at that!

- I didn't know!
- Can't you wash the dishes?

- I didn't know...
- Drop it, it's pointless.

- I didn't do anything.
- Drop it.

You're such a pig, look.

- Hello, Camille.
- Hi.

To start off...
Congratulations, I guess?

Don't sweat it, I got this.
I'll handle everything.

Focus on the baby.

Positive energy,
that's what matters.

- I'll be gone in the next hour.
- What are you doing here?

No, don't tell me.

I'll book a hotel.

I want this place to shine,
and you to go.

As for the two of us,
our plans are unchanged.

We'll eat burgers
while watching comedy movies.

Have a nice baby shower.

Bye, I guess.

ROMANTIQUE

How's work?

Good.

I changed companies a month ago.

It's better.

Great.

So you're no longer working
with tuxedo douchebags?

I've dropped it.

So? What is it, now?
Architect?

Well... no.

I won't go into details.

Basically, I am now charged to tell
tuxedo douchebags to fill Excel charts.

You're right, it's better.

Don't give yourself the chance
to make a living

out of one of your hobbies,
it would be too bad.

What about you?

How's music doing?

And this stadium tour?

I don't play anymore.

People still aren't ready
to witness my talent.

Yeah.

We've got time.

Don't you miss architecture?
You were good at it.

Yes, but it's not the time, yet.

Antoine bought a house.

Naturally, he gave me blueprints.
I supervise the works...

I get on with this
whenever I'm off of work.

Well, it's great.
Got any photos?

No, but I've got the keys.
Do you want to have a look?

Yeah, totally.

Doesn't it get you inspired?

I told you, it's not the time.

There's the baby, there's work...

Let's get out of here.
I'm stuffed.

- Yeah. Can we get the bill?
- Sure.

- Are we splitting, or...
- No, this one's on me.

There you go.

Let's see...

Time to shine.

The pepper on the peaches,
really tasteful.

- I really appreciate it.
- I've noticed too.

Oh yeah?
Well, I appreciate it.

- Crap, it got declined.
- Really?

- Do you need the receipt?
- No, thank you.

- Okay, one more try?
- Yes, yes.

Thank you.

I may have mistyped the code.

Declined.

It's definitely declined.

- I'll bring my paycheck.
- Are you nuts?

- Forget it, I'll pay.
- Well...

You're such a pain in the ass.

I couldn't know,
my bank account isn't empty.

You made a deposit
with money you got on the street

and there was a problem?

You won't fool me.
Honestly, this is rude.

Where did this come from?

You tell me it's on you,
but it ends up on me.

- I'm sorry, but this is rude.
- No...

Now, guys, chill.

It's fine, it's fine.

And it's on you. Okay?

I'll give you pocket money,
if you want.

- Shots on me, what do you say?
- Oh, okay.

And we'll be able to look
at the bright side of life.

- Thank you very much.
- There.

Cheers, guys.
Let me see your smile.

To our father-to-be.

You have to make
the most of it, now.

You're gonna be a dad!

- To the father-to-be!
- It's gonna be great!

I'll handle this like a boss!
I'm running things great.

I'll stay clean as hell!

Either way,
you can't be worse than Dad.

Oh, there's the radar.

Hi.

I see you've been having an eye on me,
this whole time.

Let me be clear: it's a no.

Listen, sweetheart.

With a body like yours,
you can't have a king like me. Ciao!

Sorry, this is my brother.
He gets annoying when he's drunk.

He definitely is.
But he's got money.

He'll go and get us drinks
while we're dancing, okay?

- Perfect.
- Go get us some drinks, come on.

Look...

I'm off to bed.

I'll get one hour of sleep
before Camille gets here, or...

Well, let's get moving.

You'll be okay?

Yes, don't worry.

Come on. Let's go.

Oh, hell...

- Bye, brother.
- Good night.

Take care.

Good morning, sir.

Please pack your stuff and go.

You need permission for that.

Oh, okay.
Sorry, I didn't know that.

Papers, please.

You won't believe this,
but my wallet got stolen,

in this bar, last night.

I was actually waiting for them
to open to ask them

whether they had retrieved
something or not.

And I started a gig here,
in the meantime.

I'll pack my stuff and I'll wait.

Look, we'll get a fine
sent to your address.

Okay.

Name and address, please.

Well... Romain Gary.

G.A.R.Y.

8 alley Emile Ajar.

18th arrondissement of Paris.

You'll receive the fine
within 72 hours.

If you don't find your wallet,
go to the police station.

- Sometimes, they get there.
- Good idea, thank you.

- Have a nice day.
- Thank you.

Thank you for your kindness.

You're not there.

It's not you.

You're dead.

Either you're in jail...

Or you're on the edge of a cliff...

Or you've jumped
under a freaking metro.

But you're definitely not there.

Wait, Salomé...

Shut up! Shut up!

I'll fuck you up.

- Wait, Salomé...
- Fucking ghost!

Where were you?

Did you think
you could abandon me?

You actually believed it!

Choose your words wisely.
It's been 3 years and a half.

You see this?
I could hear them whiten.

I'll explain myself.

After you calm down.

Don't ask me to calm down!

Don't ask me to calm down.

You... Not a word.

You shut up,
don't say a word!

I thought you were dead.

I thought you were dead!

You had plans
for a road-trip in France

and a cocoon with a view
on the rooftops of Paris.

While I actually never got out of Paris.

I still live in an apartment
with a view on dog shit.

So, think wisely.

Think before you explain to me
why I'm feeling this dumb.

I was in danger.

And...

I won't go into details,
it was quite tough.

I couldn't share it with you,
or you would have been in danger.

- So you're a spy.
- No...

Stop laughing!

I'll kill you!

I freaked out!

I freaked out, I panicked.

I thought I couldn't do it,
so I left for a few days.

I thought it would subside,
but after a few weeks,

it was still there.

Then, I didn't know what to do...

Sir, is this yours?

No...

And then,
I got a job offer in New York.

And here I am,
I just landed in Paris.

I wanted to see you.

Well, you've seen me. Happy?

Could we grab a coffee together?

I'm busy.

This weekend?

There he goes, insisting...
I'm busy.

- Are you still working a lot?
- Yeah.

And I am a mother
of a 3-years-old little girl

who doesn't know her father.

It gets me quite busy too.

Wait, Salomé.
Salomé, wait! Salomé!

Wait!

Wait, guys! Guys...

What do you think you're doing?

These are my belongings,
not trash.

We found this on the ground,
we didn't steal anything.

I put it on the ground.
I was talking to my ex.

Why didn't you say anything?

I didn't want to look like a tr...

Look, I'm busy.
This is all I have, give it back.

We're on the same boat.

Except these are not yours.

Oh yeah? Then prove it.

Please, don't threaten me
with my racket.

- Put it down.
- Yeah, put it down.

- Let's make a deal.
- Yeah, I like making deals.

I'll keep my charger, I need it.

Okay.

I'll take my keyboard back,
you don't have a gig, do you?

Keep the rest of it. Are we good?

Alright, but I want your jacket.
It looks soft.

No wonder it's soft,
it's a silk-cotton blend.

Handle it with care.
Don't put it in the washer.

It's really soft.

- Wow!
- Don't get too comfortable.

You're fine with the jacket.

It was a pleasure
doing business with you.

Thank you, bye.

This jackass gave me his jacket!

Don't worry about the jacket,
we only wash cold.

It looks like you do.
It smells like it too.

I'm sorry, Salomé.
Wait, let's talk for a minute.

- And here you are, again.
- Wait.

You can't bring up such things
and just leave.

You left first. Out of my sight.

I just want to meet her.
What's her name?

Just leave, already.

- Help, help! Help me!
- Stop that!

- It's okay.
- It's not okay.

This guy is stalking me.
He's been spying on me every morning.

- This is nonsense.
- Help!

- Help me!
- Get off of her!

- I know her!
- No, get out of here.

- She's lying.
- Get out of here.

Guys, I know her!

- Are you okay?
- I'm fine, thank you.

- The two of us, we're done.
- My love...

You did okay,
but you pushed it too far.

What's your problem?
Come on, go and catch Regina!

Try to reason with her.
Give me the car keys.

I must talk with priest Pain.

Tarain! Do you hear me? Tarain!

It's Tarain!

With an "ain", as in "train".
Well, as in "nain".

- No, as in "pain".
- Yeah, whatever.

I can't wait to hear you out
on this one.

Wait, play it one more time.

Tarain! Do you hear me? Tarain!

With an "ain", as in "train"!

Well, as in "nain".
No, as in "pain".

Yeah, whatever.

Is it your Dad?

Yeah.

What's up?

- Long time no see!
- Yeah...

- How are you?
- I'm fine.

Are you sure?

- Yes, yes.
- Did you see that?

The ocean in Montmartre.

There's no reason
to leave this place anymore.

I think I'll go.

Don't you wanna grab a drink?

No.

- Are you sure?
- Yes.

See you around then!

Yeah.

- Hi!
- Hello!

Do you know where this is?
The Grand Hotel de Clermont!

Yes, it is here.

- What's your name?
- Elliott... Eliza.

Are you kidding me?

The reservation said charming hotel
in the centre of Montmartre...

Room number 5. First floor.

What are we drinking?

Are you mute?
What are we drinking?

Sorry, I was somewhere else.

I just learned I'm a father.

Congratulations.

Yeah...

- This calls for a celebration.
- Yes.

It's on me.

Made a choice?

Calvados.

- Is it your first one?
- Well, I don't day drink.

The child.

- Oh, yes, it's the first one.
- Happy times.

Is this a boy or a girl?

It's a little girl.

But she's 3 years old.

One second. Yes?

I've just seen your missed calls.
What is it?

Can I see you?
We need to talk.

- No way. Tell me now.
- I want to see you in person.

Can I sleep by, tonight?
Just one night.

Really? 24 hours later, already?

I've just seen Salomé,
she wanted me dead.

I got my belongings stolen
by some tramps.

What? I don't get a thing.

This is not important. She told
me something. We need to talk.

Pierre, what are you doing?

I'm coming, sweetie.

You're wasted.

I can smell Calvados from a mile away.
Pull yourself together!

Ammad called some rounds
on what I'm about to tell you,

if you're coming.

No way, Camille could give birth
anytime now. This is ridiculous.

I'm a father-to-be too.

You're pissing me off.

I'm coming, sweetie.

Are you okay?

I've been better.

What is it?

As usual: money, accommodation...

Nothing new, but it got worse.

And I've just learned
I have a little girl,

but her mother hates me
and doesn't want to see me again.

Is that all?

No, some guys stole all my belongings.

Wait.

It's okay,
but it's getting tough.

- I'm in a struggle.
- I'll give you some more.

I got a room I cannot rent.

It's under renovation.

You'll go there
and gather yourself.

I'm sure you'll find something
for your little girl.

Why does the mother hate you?

Because I disappeared from her life overnight.

- Smart move, right there.
- Yeah...

You'll have to prove yourself smarter
for the comeback.

What do you mean?

You have to go all out.

The day I met Françoise,
she was engaged to a private.

Still, she left him for me.

How did you pull this off?

It's been weeks and weeks
of saving money.

Then, I rented a car
and brought her to Deauville.

It won't work out, with her.

My daughter works
at the Moulin Rouge.

She's got invitations,
from time to time.

No, no...

- Thank you, Didier.
- Come on.

Then, you bring her to the pizza.
We can keep the kid.

- Thank you, but I'm fine.
- Or...

Think of a great gift.
Perfume, for example.

I can get you some Chanel.
It's yours for 20 bucks!

You're sweet.

You know what?
I'll think about it.

I'll manage,
I'll get around this.

You'll die for some cheap Chanel.

- Didier, still got your truck?
- Yeah.

Move!

Move your truck, dammit!

I can't block them forever.
Did you write the number?

CALL ME

Move, already!

- Move!
- Yeah, got it.

By the way, hi!

Door code: 21b78
Come meet the kid tonight. Not too late

PS: Asshole

Stop the music, please.

You can't play without permission.

Alright, I'll pack my stuff.
I didn't know,

I'm sorry.

Papers, please.

You won't believe it,
but my wallet got stolen

in this bar, last night.

I was waiting for them to open,
in case they had found anything.

Look... Exceptionally, we'll get a fine
sent to your address.

Great.
So... Ivo Livi.

L.I.V.I.

8 alley Yves Montand.

Paris, 18th.

- There you go.
- Thank you.

You'll receive the fine
within 72 hours.

- Okay.
- About your wallet...

If you don't find it at the bar,
you should go to the police station.

Good idea, thank you.
Thank you for your kindness.

- Have a good day.
- Thank you, good luck.

Casino

Thank you, goodbye.

Great.

- Goodbye!
- Thank you, see you soon.

It's from a vineyard, in the Jura.
They got about... 2 hectares.

Really, it's excellent.

I'll take it, then.

Good.

You'll see, this wine...

It's silky,

ethereal...

floral, too, you'll see.

It'll be 75 euros, please.

It's got to be excellent, then.

Thank you!

Hi.

You brought your girl.

Louise? Come say hi.

So, here is César.

- Hi!
- He's an old friend of Mom's.

What's up?

Louise, right?

Such a sweet name.

Are these for me
or are you out, tonight?

These are for you.

Why did you bring wine?

For dinner.

What dinner?

Come inside.

It's a good thing you repainted.
It looks nice.

This apartment is great.

It's lovely.

I mean...

It changes everything
while not really...

It's a nice apartment, really.

- How big is it?
- Stop it right there.

Alright.

I see Mrs. Louise
is drawing nice stuff.

I brought you a new friend.

His name is Teddy. Hi!

You don't like him, do you?

We'll get your teeth brushed.
Say good night to César.

- Good night.
- Bye-bye.

Let's get those teeth brushed.

Call me in 10 minutes
to tell me Camille is in labor

"All the people from the village
seemed so carefree

that nobody could imagine
how anxious they were,

after nightfall.

Mommy!
This is so embarrassing, Mom."

This guy's like me.
He sounds like me.

Do you want César
to do the monster?

- Yes.
- He knows a lot about monsters.

Yeah?

What am I supposed to do?

"The whole village was actually
terrified by the idea

that Scarifon, the child-eater

could show up any day.

All of them ignored
that in the utmost discretion,

a secret operation
was in the works.

The mayor's 4 daughters
were about to defy the night

in order to find Scarifon

and finally rid the village

of this terror.

And the 4 of them go..."

Doesn't she ask questions?

She's too young.

Surely, she'll get there
in a year or two.

And what will you tell her?

I'll tell the truth.

That you didn't know
where her father was?

No.

I'll tell her that one night,
he got invited,

that I slit his throat,

then I managed to dissolve his corpse
in the bathtub...

but that she must keep it secret,
or Mom will go to prison.

You don't have a bathtub.

You didn't see it.

I added one.

Still playing?

No, I dropped it.

Weren't you supposed
to meet with record labels?

Well, I didn't...

I've never sent this one.

Then, what do you do?

Well, I...

I made some money, in New York.

It was cool. And...

At some point, I got bored.
I wanted to come back, because...

Because I was missing Paris.

Are you not working?

Yes, I do.

I do, I do.

I work in a bar.

As a waiter?

No, as a manager.

I took over a business.

Natural wines.

You see, this is ours.
This is...

We only work with small vineyards.

This one's from Alsace.

He's only got half a hectare,
yet his wine is...

very soft, very...

vegetal, vainglorious...

Any chance you'd need a waitress?

Are you tired
with driving trains?

No, this is for a friend
who's in a financial struggle.

She's out for extras,
in restaurants.

She's great.

Well, yeah.

I'm there on a daily basis,
and we're currently recruiting.

Connect me with her.

I see her tomorrow.
We can swing by, at the bar.

Well, tomorrow,
I won't be there, unfortunately.

Then, maybe...

Aren't you there every day?

Well, yes, almost every day.

- Managing obliges me...
- You don't wanna help her.

Yes, I do.

I just have to figure...

We'll swing by on happy hours.

Can you give me the address?

I'll text you all of that.

What is it called?

It still goes
by the former owner's.

We're just done with the works,
so we want to come up...

with a nice, good-sounding name.

I'm glad to see you.

Even though I hate you.

Me too.

You hate me too?

Aren't you answering?

I'll call back later.

Ringing again.

Well, this is my brother.
He'll want to grab a drink.

You should get it.
He may be in trouble.

I don't think so.

Hello?

- Hello?
- Are you okay?

Not really,
Camille started the labor.

Oh, great. How is it going?

It's terrible, I'm panicking.
I don't know what to do.

- Please come.
- Come on...

Don't worry, it'll go well.

No, I'm not doing well.

I wanna die,
don't leave me alone.

I'm sure you'll manage.

I don't want Camille
to see that I can't manage.

Look, it'll be okay.

Throw some water on your face
and get back to her.

If you're not feeling any better,
I'll come by.

Just call me.
I can't talk to you right now.

Okay, I'll call you back.

- Is he alright?
- Look...

He's used to overreacting.
I'll call him in a moment.

Are you listening to yourself?

Your brother is about to welcome
his child, you have to go.

We'll finish what we were doing
and if it doesn't get better,

he'll call and I'll go there.

Listen, we'll catch up tomorrow.
Either way...

Go, go.

He needs you.

I'm truly sorry. Really.

Don't worry, you get used
to be abandoned pretty quickly.

Hello?

Why did you insist that much?
You call me 3 hours after my text.

I told you it'll be fine,
yet you made a fuss about it.

You're such a pain.

Camille is in labor.

Oh, really? Shit, sorry.
I'm on my way.

- What are you doing here?
- She wanted me out.

I was setting a bad vibe.

Chill, you're just having
an anxiety attack.

Each contraction kills me.

Take a long breath,
you'll be okay.

You got new shoes?

I'll tell you about that later.

Come on,
you can't leave her alone.

Forget it. She'll kill me.
You have to go.

- Nonsense.
- Yes, you have to!

You'll tell Camille
I'm thinking about her.

I'm not going to watch your wife
giving birth to your child!

You've spent your whole life under stress
and you still hang around, carefree.

You're the right man for the job.
Go in there, please.

- I'll do anything in return.
- No.

You just knock,
poke your head in

and say reassuring stuff,
like you are used to,

"Pierre flared up a little,

but he loves you
and is with you by thought."

Are you nuts?

- César, do it for me.
- No.

No.

- Come on.
- No.

Come on.

- Alright.
- Thank you.

What are you doing here?

I'm coming in peace.

And I have a message from Pierre...

Good, Camille, good.

It's coming. Come have a touch.

Tell me and go to hell.
Where's Pierre?

He called me, he had a flare up.

He'll come back soon.
He's with you, kind of.

- You'll be fine.
- Contractions again.

- Now, I want quality breathing.
- Keep on breathing.

Now, let's do the "om".

Good, I see the hair!

You've been saying that
for 2 hours, now!

- Are you sure it's the hair?
- I know it's tough.

I can't make it.
Take me to the hospital.

- I want this to stop.
- No, you're doing great.

- Come on, I see lots of hairs!
- Go have a look.

- I want you to have a check.
- I won't...

I'm serious! Tell me if this is hair
or if these are my hairs.

I'll take a picture without looking
and I'll let you check for yourself.

Come on.

I see the head!

I'll let you get some rest.

Bye, brother.
I'll call you tomorrow.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

You're welcome. Bye.

- Do you mind if...
- Go on.

I'm currently away.
Leave a message.

Dad, it's me.
I hope you're doing well.

I was calling to tell you
that Camille gave birth, tonight.

You should leave a message
for Pierre after mine.

I think he'll be glad.

I hope you're okay. Bye.

Hi police!

Hey, brother, what's up?

You're welcome.
I was glad to be part of it.

Yeah.

You told me you would do anything
for me, yesterday, right?

Yes, you did say that.

I need you to call Axelle.

I think you got the catch,
with the kitchen.

Now, focus.
I'll go very fast.

Those coming to knock one back,

stick them to the bar
with a plate of salami.

In front of the slate,
you get the drill, right?

And those who want
to down a bottle,

I want them at the tables.
And you send them to me.

- Alright.
- Understood?

In case you have a doubt
on the wines, you can...

ask me, very good.

You're familiar with wines, right?

- Yes, of course.
- Great.

And keep your fingers
away from the slicer.

We can't go to the hospital.
We're busy, tonight.

I think you're good to go.
Let me see you in action, now.

- Alright, let's go.
- Alright.

- Good evening.
- I'm on it.

How are you doing, guys?
Can I set you up on the terrace?

White wine for starters, guys?
César, 2 glasses of Chablis.

2 glasses of Chablis...

This good old fine Chablis.

The glasses are on their way.

Along with a salami plate
on the side.

- Good evening.
- Good evening.

- It'll be a table for two and...
- Hi.

We didn't book a table, though.

No problem, I'll get you one.

My friend, Diass.

- Hi.
- Diass, nice to meet you.

- I'll set you up outside.
- There?

- Yeah.
- Perfect.

- Are you comfortable?
- It's great.

These are on me.

Thank you.

Sorry.

Isn't this place lovely?

We've done a whole makeover.

The difference is huge.
Before, it was plagued with rats

and filled with winos drinking Calvados.

Are you familiar with grape juice?

I'm far from being an expert.

Aeration on this one
is on the strong side.

- I'll get them replaced.
- I'm good.

I love that.
It's reminiscent of the Jura.

Exactly.

We're right in the Jura.

- Such a...
- Connoisseur.

Connoisseur! This is great.

Actually, your knowledge
is welcome, here.

With Axelle, it was a tough drive,
in the beginning.

She has no background,
in food service.

She started out on markets
and fishmongers, you know...

She's really nice, easy-going...

Are you comfortable?

Chewing the fat with our clients?

Hi!

- Good evening.
- Pleased to meet you.

- We were talking about you.
- About what?

- Good things only.
- Great.

Are you not hungry, girls?

With this guy comfortably seated,
while he should work,

you guys might be starving.

- Aren't you?
- Fishmongering calls upon me.

Now, menus.

Get this one clean
and bring a slab of charcuterie.

Keep your fingers away from the slicer.
We can't go to the hospital.

- Cheers.
- Here's to us.

How is it?
Having a good time?

I am having a blast,
looking at you under command.

I love her already.

I told her she went
a little overboard, already.

It's not always easy,
with the staff.

Would you like a dessert?

We'll have 2 glasses of sparkling wine.

And 2 chocolate mousses.

2 glasses of sparkling wine,
2 chocolate mousses.

2 glasses of sparkling wine
and 2 chocolate mousses, please.

- The chocolate is...
- Did you blow a gasket?

Change your tone, already.
We're not selling fish, here.

You lower that knife.
We'll talk in the supply room.

Yeah, let's talk.

Oh, hell...

There it is, he's dead.

Did you blow a fuse?
What are you doing?

I'm sorry.

Sorry about what? The whole place
is crowded, are you nuts?

Look, I lied to you.

I'm nowhere to being familiar
with food service and wines.

- I got no interest in this.
- Then why are you here?

Salomé is the love of my life.

We've barely just reconnected.
I wanted to look good.

I had the terrible idea
to tell her I own a bar.

I thought I'd look good, if I...

told her I owned a bar.

Well, I...

3 years ago, I messed it all up.

As we were catching up, she told me
I was the father of her child.

So... I wanted to look good.

I told her I had a business.

Of course, she wanted to see.

As the loser that I am,
I couldn't tell her the truth.

I believed I could make something up
in two hours.

And...

here we are.
I wanted to be crushing it.

I'm a failure.
I'll tell her everything.

No, don't.

Come here, idiot.

Such drama... Alright.

Okay, look. You're not telling her.
You don't tell her a thing, okay?

You're Hugh Grant.

Only part-time.

We'll take back Julia Roberts.

From now on, you're the boss.

- I can't do it.
- Come on, you can do it.

We'll take the check, please.

Look, it's on me.

- This is adorable. Thank you.
- You're welcome.

One drink before you go.

I have to go, I'm exhausted.

Let me keep your number.
Axelle will give you a shot.

What do you mean?

Well, we're recruiting Diass.
She'll work on the weekends.

Oh, alright. It's great!

- Thank you so much.
- My pleasure.

- This is great.
- Well...

Are you staying?

Yeah, but it'll be one drink.

Be careful.
Good night, sweetheart.

Thank you again.
It was really nice.

I really appreciate it,
thank you.

Get yourself comfortable
while we get this done.

- Come on, don't be shy.
- You're sweet.

Yeah, don't sweat it.

Have a drink with us, please.

I can't, boss.

Not a drop before I end my shift.

I've heard you used to work
on the market, before.

- Yes.
- Yeah...

It's not a straw!

I was there, having my sister-in-law
delivering the baby

in a birthing pool,
which I didn't know existed.

This one I love.

- Come on the dancefloor.
- No, I'll look at you.

Move it, come on!

Oh God.

It's extremely painful.

It's horribly painful.

I think it's on the verge
of a fracture.

It's the end of your life.
It's over.

I have internal bleeding.

Honestly, I don't understand

why you'd mess with a guy
as big as the dancefloor.

Why would you dance with a guy
who looks like Sean Paul?

- Stop it.
- Outch!

You're fine. Look, you're fine.

It really hurts.

This city is so absurd.

I read about Paris
before coming here.

I dreamt of seeing
the Eiffel Tower and Sacré-Cœur.

But my favourite place...
is right here.

Barbès Rochechouart.

I missed you.

I missed you too.

Why did you do that?
What's wrong?

What's wrong?

It's...

I missed you so much
but I really want to hurt you.

- I'm sorry.
- "I'm sorry."

What's the point of being sorry?
Why are we here, César?

What do you mean?

Why are you here? Why...

Why are we doing this?
Why did you come back?

Because I feel bad.

Ever since I left.

I can't make it up to you
because I ruined it, but...

I want to be with you all the time,
every second.

Every second.

So, let's get a drink
at your place and you tell me

everything you've done since.

We can't.

Don't tell me you live with someone.

No, I don't live with anyone.

No, I'm sleeping on my friend's couch
because I'm in trouble.

Didn't you tell me
that you bought an apartment?

Yes, but it's under construction,
there's plaster everywhere, it's a mess.

There's a guy... Come. Come.

- You're scared of him?
- Yes, he's big and dangerous.

- He's scared of me.
- Of course, I'm scared.

It's kind of crazy.

We randomly run into each other...

the night he lost his keys.

We've never been close as cousins.

Never, but well... as a family,
we help each other out.

It's normal.

Okay, Miss,
would you mind if I go home?

I'm a little tired.

Sorry. Sorry. Go on.

Get home safe.
I'll call you tomorrow.

- Okay, no problem.
- Get home safe.

- Bye.
- Ciao.

You think she believed me?

Shoes.

I think she was able
to take a long nap

while you explained
because it took so long.

"It's crazy, lost in the middle
of the street..."

Stop.

- "He lost his keys."
- Stop.

"He's my cousin.
It's unbelievable."

You're such a bad liar.

We can't all be as good as you.

Loulou?

She's sleeping.

Oh my God.

Hi, sweetie.
How are you?

How are you?

I'm late. I'm late!
Fuck.

I have to get ready,
can you go down with her?

- Yeah, yeah.
- You want breakfast?

Yeah, huh...

There's milk in the fridge,
there's chocolate powder.

- Third drawer to the left.
- Okay.

What do you like?

- Toast with butter.
- Toast with butter.

Shall we make hot chocolate?

Small cubes, medium cubes
or big cubes?

- Tiny triangles.
- Oh, God.

With jam or...
A little bit of jam?

A lot of jam.

With a lot of blueberry jam.

Do you have other kids?

It's like you've done this
your whole life.

Yes, I have many.

In Mexico, one in Moscow,
New York...

We can have a Christmas party
with all of my kids.

What are you doing tonight?
I'm free.

I can pick her up

and I'll meet you at your place?

You can show us around
the palace.

Awesome.

So, around 6:30?

I have to hurry. I'm late!

Hurry up.

Then people think train agents
are-always late.

She has to hurry.
Let's tell her.

You ate, you're changed,
what more can I do for you?

Stop it, stop it, stop it.

Shit, it's work. It's work.

Don't answer, it's the weekend
and you're on paternity leave.

Yeah, exactly. It's important.
Hello?

No, forget it.

No, no, no, I'm not doing that.

No, I'm not giving you the keys.

I don't want your shoes. I don't care!

Are you kidding me?

Honey, I have to go to work.

Tell them they can't do that,
you're not going.

They need me,
they can't unlock a computer...

They can't pressure you
during your break.

They need me, they can't do it.
We'll lose a big deal.

It's 30 minutes max by scooter.
It's alright.

See you.

That's crazy.

However, the day she finds out
you're homeless, she'll beat you up.

Everything lines up great.
I'll find a solution.

Here they are.

Don't mess up Antoine's place.
It's worth a lot.

800K for his stupid loft.

Don't break anything.

I take a stroll with Salomé
and I give you back the keys.

You look weird.
Everything okay?

No, it's not.

I don't know why
but my son hates me.

He can't wait to strangle me.

- He's a psychopath.
- Come on.

I see it, I'm useless.

He doesn't need me.
I feel useless.

They're together and I'm here,
looking like an idiot. It's hell.

I have to go, Camille already thinks
I'm screwing things up

so if I'm not on time...

On your right, Place des Abbesses,
and an illustrious local musician.

It's going way better at your house.

Can't we do a family thing?
It'd be great.

We kill our wives and kids,
stash them under the deck

and disappear together?

No, like a dinner.
A family thing.

I talked to Dad,
he called me for the birth.

It was nice.

Oh, he called you? Cool.

- Okay, I'm going.
- We'll see.

- Bye.
- Thank you.

You're welcome.

This will be my office.

An office with your head in the clouds
with the glass roof and all.

It'll be great.

And over here,
I'll put a large bookcase.

A bookcase?

I'll let you discover my bedroom.

- It's awesome.
- It'll be great.

Me and Louise
will be good here.

And you?
Where will you be staying?

Well... Here.

I thought you stopped playing.

No, I did. I stopped.

I brought it for my brother,
he wants to get into music.

He wants to play string instruments,
it's super hard,

so I told him to start
with a keyboard because...

The notes are in tune.
I'm lending him mine. I don't mind.

Since I stopped.

You're still such a bad liar.

I'm not lying.

- You're not lying?
- No.

But we know you hide things from me, no?

No, I hid things,
but I'm not hiding anything.

You tell the truth
and only the truth.

- Only the truth.
- Sure.

I think not giving up on your dreams
is great.

So many people miss out on their lives.

You're right.

So, can we hear your new songs?

I don't have new songs.

Because... I stopped playing,

so I have old songs.

Okay, can we hear your old songs?

Loulou hasn't heard them,
I'm sure she'll love them.

Right, Lou... Lou!

Oh, dear.

We're on the serial killer path.

Put this down, it's very dangerous.

It's very dangerous.

I'm going to have to leave you, guys.

An extra didn't show up
and I have to replace her.

She's exhausted as well.

We'll meet up later?

Yeah.

We're leaving too.

I really don't know
how to get myself out of this.

It's hell.

You'll figure it out.
You always do.

I do because I love fleeing.

I flee shitty situations,
but this one, I love it.

I'm good with her and the kid,
I've never felt this good.

In every family,
there are stories like:

"Grandpa was a war hero."

But telling the truth is good too,
you know.

If I tell the truth,
I lose her forever.

Stop whining. Here.

You take the car
and bring her to Deauville.

Enough with Deauville.

Going out of town
will do you good.

Thanks, buddy.

Fuck...

It's horrible.

He just fell asleep.

You want a pick-me-up?

No, I can't smell like booze,
I'll get scolded.

I don't know, green tea?

Well, you boys have changed.

I'm sorry, I'm leaving.

You sweat too much.

See you, buddy.

Bye, César.

- Shoes?
- Don't bother.

- Mommy?
- Yes?

- Kisses.
- I'm coming.

César, kisses.

Damn, you look cool.

We're going to the sitter's.

We're going to the sitter's!

Oh, no, wait.

Now, that's better.

Open your arms and turn.

There you go!

Ouch.

You hurt your knee?

Shall we go to bed or what?
We sleep or not?

We're going to bed?

Get up.

- What time is it?
- 10:30.

Get your things and Louisette's,
I'm taking you on a trip.

Where are we going?

It's a surprise.

For how long?

Not long, you'll see.

I work tomorrow,
I can't leave like that.

Yes, you can, it's a surprise.
Come on.

Get up.

You want me to make you some tea?

Yes.

Do you trust me?

No.

Come on, ladies,
are you ready back there?

- Whose car is this?
- I stole it.

Yeah, sure.

It's my buddy's.

Let's hurry.

Where are we?

You wanted to do
a road-trip in France.

We could go
to Arles Amphitheatre next.

Arles Amphitheatre?
It's really far.

- But it's here.
- No, we're far from it.

We could take a break in Lascaux.

And there's Chambord right next to it.

What's that?

It's Chambord.
I'm telling you, it's good.

Hello?

Bro, it's awful.

Camille and Sasha hate me,
I can't anymore.

I need to see other people.

Can't we do a dinner
for your birthday on Sunday?

No, I hate family dinners.

Every time we think we get along,
but we're just drunk.

We eat, we drink, we sing happy birthday.
It'll be good for everyone, please.

I'll ask Salomé but I doubt it.

I'll ask and let you know.

Do we invite Dad?

So that if we run out of things to say,
he'll tell us about his depression

and we can all shoot ourselves, great.

- Pierre.
- I have to go. Hitler's calling.

Coming!

It was my brother.

He wanted to get altogether
next Sunday for my birthday.

But just us three is better,
I'll tell him no.

No, it's a good idea.

Let's just do lunch at home.

Let's not complicate things.
Let's just get coffee after.

No, it's not complicated.

We do something simple
like a Sunday roast.

Okay, okay.

You don't feel like it?

I don't like celebrating my birthday
and my family and all...

It's going to be great.

However, no slip-ups about...

We'll tell her at the right time.

Come on, Loulou.

Come, come.

We're invited for lunch Sunday
at Salomé's.

- We're going?
- Yeah, whatever.

Okay.

It's actually huge.
I didn't know.

Apparently,
it's even bigger in real life.

We still have time to go to Arles.

To Arles?

Here.

So. Arles.

We're here...

- We're here.
- Yeah, well, look.

We go by Arles,

and swing by Savoie.

- And then we go.
- The poppy cries.

The poppy cries?

We're going to see the village?

Oh, gallop?

We're catching up to Mommy!

I didn't ask,
but does everybody eat everything?

César?

Hum, yeah, yeah.

- You okay?
- Yes, why?

I don't know,
you look deep in thoughts.

No, I just hope everything goes well.

You know, my family is a bit... weird.

We're your family.

They're our guests,

okay?

Let's go.

Let's clean up a bit.

- It's a mess.
- I can see that.

- Hello.
- Happy birthday.

Thank you.

- Bonjour. Camille.
- I'm Salomé.

Nice to meet you.

Hey, you.

- You remember Pierre?
- Yes, it's been a while.

- It's nice here.
- Thank you.

Oh, shit, hey, Dad.
I didn't see you.

Why did you hide?

I didn't hide,
what are you saying?

- Yes, you hid in the hallway.
- No, I just got here.

- How are you?
- I'm good.

- How is everybody?
- Good.

Hello.

Nice to meet you.

Come in.

So he sleeps in the morning
and not at night?

He sleeps all the time.

Sasha's grown up so much.

No, that's Louise. She's...

She's my daughter. She's three.

So, Dad...

Well, Salomé.

Salomé, my dad, Pascal.

And Louise, Salomé's daughter.

What time is it, please?

It's one sharp.
Do you want me to take your coat?

No.

I like pomegranate,
but it's tricky to peel.

She's sleeping like a log
and she didn't eat anything.

She'll get up for the cake.
I know her.

I can't stop myself.

- You okay, Dad?
- Yes, I'm okay.

- Are you cold? Do you want a blanket?
- No, thank you, I'm good.

César.

Tell me. Tell me.

Am I smiling right now or not?

Well, no, not really.

And now, am I smiling?

Now, yes.

- And now?
- It's not really a smile.

Come, come. It's your uncle.

It's your uncle. Come here.

Look at that.

No way! That's crazy.

- The guy is...
- That was magnetism.

He's a wizard.

Pierre.

Am I smiling or not now?

No.

On either side?

No. None.

Not at all.

You okay?

- Yes.
- What's wrong?

Yes, Pascal, you seem a bit off
since you got here.

Well, more off than usual.

- Yeah.
- What's wrong?

No, I had a procedure done and...

I'm just worried it failed.

Do you mean surgery?

No, not really.

A small injection.
I wanted to...

Erase my fine lines.

What?

What? You got botox?

Yeah...

Right here?

No, not really. No, no.

It's hyaluronic acid.
It's completely natural.

- Seriously? But why?
- Why do this to yourself?

Alexandra left me, I...

I'm struggling.

Oh, Dad.

- Oh, Pascal.
- Why?

I don't know why.
She told me that...

She told me that she couldn't...

She couldn't see herself with me.

I don't get it.

Why?

Because she's 36, Dad.

Really?

When a woman who is
30 years younger than you,

even more,
says she can't see herself with you,

your first thought is to get botox,
like an actress?

That's harsh.

I'm going to hit him
if he keeps going.

Tell him to stop.

Pierre, that's enough.

Okay, guys, stop.
You're harsh.

Breakups are horrible.

- Yes, it's horrible.
- My poor Pascal.

- I'm devastated.
- Yes.

It'll pass.
After five, six months, it passes.

Will Nicole Kidman's mouth also pass?

- Okay, enough.
- Stop!

We can move on.
Find another subject.

- Grandpa is sleeping.
- Yeah.

Look.

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday
Dear César

Happy birthday to you

Let's blow the candles together.

One... two...

Two and half...

- Three.
- Three.

One, two, three...

I guess I'll open my gifts.

Yes, let's see.

A gift from my brother.

I outdid myself this time.

The one and only.

Beautiful.

This one is from Louise and me.

Oh, thank you.

Is it a cheque?

If you want.

First, I'd like to thank you, Pascal,

for giving birth to this... asshole.

I haven't been this happy
for a long time.

So, thank you.

My pleasure.

So...

Louise and I don't think
you should give up music.

So we made copies of your EP

and we sent them to...

- How many, Loulou?
- 18.

18 record labels.

And two of them
want to meet you.

Congrats, that's great!

Cool!
So... Oh, there it is.

"Meeting with Asuna Music
Thursday, 2 pm."

So, you're happy?

- Well I...
- Yeah?

I don't know what to say.
I'm touched. Thank you.

We've been telling you
to send your songs for what, 15 years?

It's not like
you didn't have time to prepare...

Let's make a toast.
To Loulou.

Well done!
It's all thanks to you.

- Good job!
- To Loulou!

It was nice, wasn't it?
It went well.

Yeah, it was great.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

You look like you did LSD
with your dad.

No, I'm fine.

I'm just tired, I think.

I forgot to do something.

I have to go give Axelle
the keys at the bar.

She doesn't have the keys?

We had a spare but we lost it.
I'll be quick. See you.

César?

Hello?

Yeah...

Yeah, okay.

Thanks for everything.

Yeah.
Is Françoise better?

Kiss her for me, would you?

I'll come visit, promise.

Okay. See you soon.

Ciao, bye.

What an asshole.

Sorry, sorry.

Where were you?

At the bar.

The place was packed
so I helped a little and then...

we had a few drinks.

- But I called.
- What?

I know, I didn't want to bother you,

you were sleeping,
and someone stole my phone...

I called the bar,
you weren't there.

- Why did you call the bar?
- You didn't answer.

Who did you speak to at the bar?

A waitress who told me
you weren't there.

What did you do then,
call the police?

Really funny.

- What's wrong?
- Nothing.

Nothing, you're the one who's all...

I don't understand.

I don't either,
I don't want to...

Salomé, seriously...

I really don't want to have
this conversation right now.

Are we really doing this?

We're going to fight
like a stupid normal couple?

Normal couple?

- It's you.
- Me? It's you.

You're the one who's normal
in this house?

No, you're the one acting normal,
calling and saying,

"I'm worried, the waitress, blah, blah."

It's about the record label, isn't it?
So don't go, it doesn't matter.

Don't tell me
what I can and cannot do.

- Is it because you're scared?
- No.

- You're scared to fail?
- No, you are.

You're scared to try and fail.

- No, you're scared!
- What am I scared of?

Your gift, which is not a gift
but an expectation.

- Expectation?
- Of course!

What should I expect from you?

- To be good enough!
- Good enough?

- That's all you want.
- Oh, that's nice.

No, stay,
you're sleeping there tonight!

You reek of alcohol!

The story repeats itself.

Once again, silence and
misunderstanding on your part

and always empty promises
and cowardice on mine.

Shit...

The thought of you reading this
as your hair turns white

and your eyes tarnish
makes me want to cry.

I actually want to cry
as I am re-reading this

thinking how I could have written
such a ridiculous thing.

I am so sorry, Salomé.

I don't deserve all the love
you and Louise gave me

because I am a liar.

I have no home and no money.

I have no work and no bar.

Nothing of my own,
but that you already knew.

For three years,
I sold mojitos on the Costa Brava,

cleaned camping crappers in Portugal,

and a lot of other
not so great things,

believing I was free

and that it was more important...

More important than living a fairy tale

with the woman of my dreams, apparently.

When I came back,

I wasn't expecting to find
you and Loulou behind the door.

I had nothing better to offer
so, once again, I lied to you.

I was scared of not being enough.

I'm always scared
of not being enough.

Even if the feelings, the smiles,

all those moments of joy,

were truly sincere.

So, I'm leaving.

Once again.

Maybe this is my path.

Say what you want to Louise.

That I'm in jail because I stole candy.

That I burned down
the Amazonian forest.

Or that I had
an electric scooter accident.

At least something ridiculous, okay?

Not something heroic.

We often try to turn
those who disappear into heroes.

I am anything but that.

Or just tell her the truth.

Sometimes, the truth feels better.

I love you both.

Scarifon.

Shit.

What?

It's Salomé.
Apparently, César is gone again.

I'll see if he's at Ammad's
or if he's dead beneath a bush.

No, Pierre.

It'll be 10 minutes.

I don't care.
Even 10 seconds is too much.

Stop taking care of your brother
and start taking care of your son.

I do take care of him.

Love?

- It's not a criticism.
- Yes it is.

I know that you're doing your best
and that it mustn't be easy for you.

You have one extra thing to think of.

César can feed and wash himself.

Not Sasha.

Let him figure things out.

- Okay?
- Yes.

We can spend some time just us three.

Anyways, what can you do?

You can't take care of him
for him.

What would like to do tonight?

A burger and a movie?

Okay?

How's he doing, little kitty?

I know, life isn't easy.

It's a real pain.

There you go, my love.

You ate well?

Excuse me?

I'm selling my cellphone...

Please?

I'm selling my cellphone, 50 euros.

No, thanks.

Excuse me. I'm selling my cellphone.

You need help?

Well, yeah.
I have to buy a ticket.

What will you do with the money?

- Buy a train ticket, I just told you.
- Right, okay.

I'm not really interested.

- But, your glasses, though...
- No, I just bought them.

- Come on, man.
- No.

- I'll make a good deal.
- It's okay.

- How much?
- No...

Hello sir!

Sir! Hi.

Cut the music, please.

Your permit, please.

I don't have a permit.

You need one
to perform on the streets.

I didn't know, sorry.

The thing is, someone stole my wallet
on this terrasse over there.

I put it on the table,
and a guy took it and left.

I have a train for Brest
leaving in 25 minutes

and my ticket was in my wallet,
I'm sorry...

I don't want to deal with this.
Leave me alone.

- Excuse me?
- Leave me alone. You don't speak French?

I need 20 euros to buy a new
train ticket, so leave me alone.

Watch your tone.
Your ID, please.

Just give me a fine, it's easy,
you know what to do.

Take your pen and fine me
but don't fuck with me.

Pack your stuff
or we take you to the police station.

Don't you have some dealers to arrest?
You don't run fast enough?

- Motherfuckers!
- Let's go, let's go.

Fuck!

Alright, calm down.

- There's no point in getting upset.
- Of course there's a point!

Fuck, get my stuff!

It's all I have.

That loser broke my arm.

Get in your car,
I'm not going to run away.

Okay, all good.

Your signature
on the bottom of the page, please.

There you go.

When we took your phone, we saw
there was 15 missed calls from your girl.

We called her back to warn her.
We are not monsters.

- Thanks.
- Alright.

Your stuff.

There you go.

- Perfect, alright, let's go.
- Thanks.

- Have a good day, sir.
- Goodbye.

Look who's here.

I'm sorry.

Shut up.

We'll talk later.

Jump in the back with her.

- Over there?
- Yes, over there.

The back is over there.

These three are new.

This one is for when I lied for the keys.
This one is for when I left.

This long one is for the custody.

A custody is a lot of trouble.

And these ones are...

Do you remember?

Yeah.

Listen carefully,
you little piece of shit,

drop my fucking things
in front of my fucking door

or I will come and kick your ass.

Okay? Is it...

I don't want to see you ever again,
is that clear?

- Excuse me.
- Wait, yes?

I've never seen anything
more beautiful in my life.

Well, since I saw a cow give birth
at the Agriculture Fair.

It was very touching.
It was big... I mean, it was...

What's your name?

Salomé, and you?

César.

You were looking at me like...

The look of love.

- I'm really sorry...
- Shut up or I'll kick your ass.

I talk now.

I also have something to tell you.

That day on that bench...

I knew something was happening.

For the first time,
I felt like my life was starting.

And...

when you left...

I felt like nothing
would ever happen again.

So when you came back...

I told myself I had to make sure
you'd stay for good, this time.

I'm sorry, César.

I also lied to you.

She's not your daughter.

But...

I do really like her.

She really likes you too.

So... now what?

We'll get some ice cream,
for starters.

Yes.

Loulou! Let's go.
We're getting some ice cream.

You want some ice cream?

Do you think we look weirder
than everyone else?

Than other Parisians? No.

Raising kids among pigeons and rats
is weird, anyways.

Do you think it'll be difficult?

Probably.

But at the same time, maybe not.

No, we can figure it out.

You want to give money?

There you go, go ahead.

Well done!

Let's go on a trip to Arles.

Arles?

What's up with Arles?

I always loved Arles.

Enough with Arles!

And eat chicken
with the family every Sunday.

No, absolutely not.

Take my hand, take my hand.

Louise.

It's okay, there are no cars.

Stay on the sunny side of the road.

Come and let César carry you.
It'll be easier.

- On my shoulders?
- Yeah.

- Come here.
- There you go.

We could move.

No, I hate packing.

We could pretend to move.

Oh, yeah.

We could visit apartments
and pretend.

Apartments we don't like.

- And criticize them.
- Not good enough.

And...

And I'll meet with the banker
and pretend I am very rich.

I want a very big apartment.

You don't have enough
for an ice cream.

It's too bad,
I had a big project in mind,

I wanted to start a seafood
home delivery service.

Yes, it would have been
really successful!

- You're unbelievable!
- We could have lived our dream life.

Do you think
they'll be able to finish the credits

before we change streets?

I'm not sure.

It's pretty long.

People will leave.

Let's walk a little faster, then.

- We have to keep up.
- Or people will leave.

Let's go home.

- You want to go home?
- Yeah.

Loulou, you want to go home?