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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,133 --> 00:00:09,066 Can I see my surprise now? 2 00:00:09,133 --> 00:00:10,767 Not unless you promise you won't sell it. 3 00:00:11,033 --> 00:00:12,600 [ Scoffs ] I just hope you didn't use 4 00:00:12,667 --> 00:00:15,133 your whole paycheck from the store on me. 5 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:16,767 Okay, that didn't sound like a promise, 6 00:00:17,033 --> 00:00:18,333 but go ahead and open your eyes. 7 00:00:22,033 --> 00:00:24,333 Hamilton Beach. 8 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:25,767 All right, Mom. 9 00:00:26,033 --> 00:00:28,200 No, push-button controls, automatic timer. 10 00:00:28,266 --> 00:00:30,333 I can set it and forget it. I -- 11 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:32,333 Oh, look. Look. 12 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:36,200 Thumb-activated lid makes pouring easy. 13 00:00:36,266 --> 00:00:40,200 Coned filter for excellent flavor and extraction. 14 00:00:40,266 --> 00:00:42,233 Rollie's gonna die. 15 00:00:42,300 --> 00:00:43,367 Oh. 16 00:00:43,433 --> 00:00:44,633 Rollie! 17 00:00:44,700 --> 00:00:46,533 Rollie, it's a Hamilton Beach! 18 00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:48,100 Rollie! 19 00:00:48,166 --> 00:00:50,300 Rollie?! It's a Hamilton Beach! 20 00:00:50,367 --> 00:00:52,367 What? What? 21 00:00:52,433 --> 00:00:54,600 She knows Hamilton Beach is basic, David. 22 00:00:54,667 --> 00:00:56,467 It's a good coffee maker. 23 00:00:56,533 --> 00:00:58,500 Let me guess -- you got this on Craigslist, huh, 24 00:00:58,567 --> 00:01:00,166 when you were casting your little net 25 00:01:00,233 --> 00:01:02,533 for all those perverts you catfish in the garage? 26 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:04,400 First off, they're not perverts. 27 00:01:04,467 --> 00:01:07,233 Second, you're definitely using "catfish" incorrectly. 28 00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:11,100 I know what it means, David. I've been catfished nine times. 29 00:01:11,166 --> 00:01:12,500 Oh, that's too bad. 30 00:01:12,567 --> 00:01:14,633 You want to go in the garage and talk about it sometime? 31 00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:17,100 Oh, you'd love that, wouldn't you? 32 00:01:17,166 --> 00:01:19,300 [ Chuckles ] 33 00:01:19,367 --> 00:01:22,400 Nobody pays full price at Bed Bath & Beyond. 34 00:01:22,467 --> 00:01:25,133 The Beyond stands for 20% off coupon. 35 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:27,367 All right. Go back into your troll hole. 36 00:01:27,433 --> 00:01:29,367 Oh, my God! 37 00:01:29,433 --> 00:01:33,400 Hey, Brit! David didn't use a coupon at the BBB. 38 00:01:33,467 --> 00:01:35,600 What a fucking tool! 39 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,533 "Pursuant to the requirements 40 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:44,533 set out by Illinois Statute 225 ILCS-107, 41 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:46,133 I am required to inform you 42 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:48,600 that I am not a licensed psychologist, psychiatrist, 43 00:01:48,667 --> 00:01:51,233 or registered therapist." You forgot doctor. 44 00:01:51,300 --> 00:01:52,700 You're not a doctor, either, remember? 45 00:01:52,767 --> 00:01:54,667 Look, Kendra, this is weird enough. 46 00:01:54,734 --> 00:01:56,567 I mean, you're Doug's sister. We grew up together. 47 00:01:56,633 --> 00:01:59,367 Yeah, well, I think you caused a lot of damage in me, so... 48 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:03,734 [ Sighs ] 49 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:06,433 "But that these therapy sessions are being tape-recorded 50 00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:10,233 to provide a record of the 1,920 supervised clinical hours 51 00:02:10,300 --> 00:02:12,266 needed to acquire such a license." Great. 52 00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:14,667 That way, your boss can hear how you wrecked my childhood. 53 00:02:14,734 --> 00:02:16,433 [ Tape recorder clicks ] Kendra, I told you, 54 00:02:16,500 --> 00:02:18,233 I shouldn't even be seeing you as a therapist. 55 00:02:18,300 --> 00:02:19,734 It's unethical. Okay, that is a lie. 56 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:23,000 I looked it up, and the Internet says it is a gray area. 57 00:02:24,233 --> 00:02:26,600 [ Sighs ] 58 00:02:26,667 --> 00:02:28,433 [ Tape recorder clicks ] 59 00:02:28,500 --> 00:02:30,233 So, Miss Harnz, 60 00:02:30,300 --> 00:02:33,133 you seem to have some pretty profound anger issues. 61 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:35,000 Would you care to discuss? 62 00:02:35,066 --> 00:02:38,300 Um, well, I think that you are a source of my rage. 63 00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:40,333 Okay. 64 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,633 That adds another layer to what we're doing here. 65 00:02:42,700 --> 00:02:44,433 Where do you want to start? 66 00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:46,200 Okay. 67 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:50,233 Is that your diary? 68 00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:53,600 "May 10, 1996. My first holy communion. 69 00:02:53,667 --> 00:02:55,367 The wafers were crunchier than I thought, 70 00:02:55,433 --> 00:02:56,734 and the wine made me feel funny. 71 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,533 We had a big party afterwards. 72 00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:00,600 Everything was going great until David and Doug came in 73 00:03:00,667 --> 00:03:03,333 with Super Soakers and super-soaked me." 74 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:05,633 [ Chuckles ] That is still funny to you? 75 00:03:05,700 --> 00:03:08,633 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You know what I did after that? 76 00:03:08,700 --> 00:03:10,767 I ate a whole bowl of potato salad 77 00:03:11,033 --> 00:03:13,700 alone in a closet in a wet gown. 78 00:03:13,767 --> 00:03:16,233 You didn't change clothes? No. 79 00:03:16,300 --> 00:03:19,166 It was your house. That closet was probably full of dry clothes. 80 00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:21,567 Okay, well, I'm just saying it because I -- 81 00:03:21,633 --> 00:03:23,767 it was the first time of a lot of times 82 00:03:24,033 --> 00:03:26,300 that I was really sad in a closet. 83 00:03:26,367 --> 00:03:29,000 Oh, for God's sake. Oh, for God's sake, listen up. 84 00:03:29,066 --> 00:03:31,233 I don't know why they think they can talk to me like that. 85 00:03:31,300 --> 00:03:34,233 Are you referring to your patients or your family? 86 00:03:34,300 --> 00:03:37,367 My family. Well, really just my stepbrother, Barry. 87 00:03:37,433 --> 00:03:39,667 Have you considered there may be some truth 88 00:03:39,734 --> 00:03:42,500 behind what he's saying? 89 00:03:42,567 --> 00:03:45,000 No. I don't think so. 90 00:03:45,066 --> 00:03:46,667 Have you tried looking at the relationship 91 00:03:46,734 --> 00:03:48,300 from his perspective? 92 00:03:48,367 --> 00:03:50,500 He's not a good person. 93 00:03:50,567 --> 00:03:52,633 Perhaps this is an opportunity for you 94 00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:55,000 to examine how Barry perceives you. 95 00:03:55,066 --> 00:03:56,567 I mean, maybe there's something you can learn 96 00:03:56,633 --> 00:03:58,133 from his critiques. 97 00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:00,633 He's a public toilet at a Metallica concert. 98 00:04:00,700 --> 00:04:03,166 Do you know what I'm saying? 99 00:04:03,233 --> 00:04:05,333 I understand "public toilet." 100 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:07,533 Yeah. It really could be anywhere. 101 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:08,700 He's a public toilet. 102 00:04:10,767 --> 00:04:13,633 Imagine... 103 00:04:13,700 --> 00:04:16,467 that Barry is injured. 104 00:04:16,533 --> 00:04:18,233 Good. 105 00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:22,000 That -- Was that the point of it? 106 00:04:22,066 --> 00:04:24,000 No. Mnh-mnh. Oh, okay. 107 00:04:24,066 --> 00:04:25,533 Oh, I thought it was just to make me feel good. That was just the -- 108 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:27,333 Okay. I'm sorry. The lead in. 109 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,600 So, I'm just curious. Uh, how did you find my ad? 110 00:04:29,667 --> 00:04:31,667 Were you referred by a friend or...? 111 00:04:31,734 --> 00:04:34,233 Actually, I Googled "Chicago free therapy," 112 00:04:34,300 --> 00:04:36,533 and your Craigslist ad was on the first page. 113 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:38,500 Wow. First page. 114 00:04:38,567 --> 00:04:41,233 Do you remember how far down it was on the first page? 115 00:04:41,300 --> 00:04:43,233 It doesn't matter. It was on the bottom. 116 00:04:43,300 --> 00:04:45,200 I had to scroll down quite a bit. 117 00:04:45,266 --> 00:04:47,200 Maybe could have been the second page. 118 00:04:47,266 --> 00:04:49,300 We don't -- We don't need to get into all that. 119 00:04:49,367 --> 00:04:51,000 But that's great. 120 00:04:51,066 --> 00:04:52,633 Um, so what's going on with you? 121 00:04:52,700 --> 00:04:55,433 I play basketball at my college. I'm a starter. 122 00:04:55,500 --> 00:04:57,333 Nice! It is. 123 00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:59,033 But I'm having trouble getting my teammates 124 00:04:59,100 --> 00:05:00,767 to back me up on the court. I played in high school. 125 00:05:01,033 --> 00:05:03,433 I'm pretty good at sports. 126 00:05:03,500 --> 00:05:06,333 I was a point guard, obviously, 'cause of my body type. 127 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:10,066 But I had a lot of post moves, even against taller guys. 128 00:05:10,133 --> 00:05:12,600 You get the back in there... which was tough, 129 00:05:12,667 --> 00:05:15,300 'cause my center of gravity is, like, here. 130 00:05:15,367 --> 00:05:20,033 I don't have the thickest legs, but, uh... 131 00:05:20,100 --> 00:05:22,200 the ball handling was elite. 132 00:05:22,266 --> 00:05:27,567 And my shot was... hmm, better than streaky. 133 00:05:27,633 --> 00:05:32,700 What I'm trying to say is if I caught fire, I was money. 134 00:05:32,767 --> 00:05:35,066 Cool. 135 00:05:35,133 --> 00:05:37,233 My problem is I'm not really able 136 00:05:37,300 --> 00:05:38,734 to trash-talk to the other teams. 137 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,166 Trash talk? Oh, come on. 138 00:05:40,233 --> 00:05:42,066 That's like half the fun of basketball. 139 00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:45,734 I saw your mom last night. Mmm. She looked good. 140 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:48,533 That's not possible. My mom's in Florida right now. 141 00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:50,133 Oh, no, you're not supposed 142 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:51,567 to take the trash talking literally. 143 00:05:51,633 --> 00:05:53,200 That's not the point. [ Chuckles ] 144 00:05:53,266 --> 00:05:55,433 Also, I wasn't done yet. I was gonna say, 145 00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:58,600 "I had sex with your mom last night in a very graphic way." 146 00:05:58,667 --> 00:06:01,567 My mom's a good Christian woman. Of course. Of course she is. 147 00:06:01,633 --> 00:06:02,734 I'm sorry. I was trash talking. 148 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:05,200 "December 23, 2000. 149 00:06:05,266 --> 00:06:07,166 Looks like Santa brought me my present early. 150 00:06:07,233 --> 00:06:09,500 My last baby tooth finally fell out." 151 00:06:09,567 --> 00:06:12,000 [ Chuckles ] I'm sorry. 152 00:06:12,066 --> 00:06:15,667 There is nothing funny about a 15-year-old with baby teeth. 153 00:06:15,734 --> 00:06:19,033 Um, objectively speaking, I have to disagree. 154 00:06:19,100 --> 00:06:21,500 Okay, you know what? I will see you next week. 155 00:06:21,567 --> 00:06:23,500 Oh, Kendra, no, come on! 156 00:06:23,567 --> 00:06:26,100 Maybe you will have it together by then. 157 00:06:26,166 --> 00:06:30,000 I'm sorry. Baby teeth kill me! Kendra! 158 00:06:30,066 --> 00:06:31,533 I was brought up not to insult people 159 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:34,033 or curse or any of that stuff. 160 00:06:34,100 --> 00:06:36,667 So it's just unnatural for me to talk like that. 161 00:06:36,734 --> 00:06:38,367 I have an idea. 162 00:06:38,433 --> 00:06:40,233 I've always found the best thing to do 163 00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,333 is to attack a person's physical attributes, 164 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,367 even if it's not true. Watch. 165 00:06:44,433 --> 00:06:47,400 I'll have you say this as if I'm your opponent. 166 00:06:48,567 --> 00:06:50,600 [ Chuckles ] 167 00:06:58,700 --> 00:07:00,600 I'm not saying that. 168 00:07:00,667 --> 00:07:03,100 Oh. Uh... 169 00:07:03,166 --> 00:07:05,667 the vulgarity's kind of the point. 170 00:07:05,734 --> 00:07:08,400 Would you feel comfortable saying "titty baby"? 171 00:07:08,467 --> 00:07:10,400 It means, uh, someone 172 00:07:10,467 --> 00:07:13,066 who is still acting like a child so much 173 00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:16,600 that they're still sucking on their mom's tits...for milk. 174 00:07:19,100 --> 00:07:20,667 I just don't know where it all came from. 175 00:07:20,734 --> 00:07:22,467 Kendra was so mad. 176 00:07:22,533 --> 00:07:25,533 You know my sister. She just gets mad sometimes. 177 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,066 Well, this was very targeted and specific hatred. 178 00:07:28,133 --> 00:07:30,033 She holds on to things. 179 00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:32,767 I forget, but I think she has a photographic memory. 180 00:07:33,033 --> 00:07:35,500 [ Soft jazz playing ] 181 00:07:40,300 --> 00:07:43,367 Doug, did you just see what Julia did to you? 182 00:07:43,433 --> 00:07:45,567 Yeah, it's kind of her thing. 183 00:07:45,633 --> 00:07:47,166 She can't do that. 184 00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:49,100 Sure she can. She's the boss. 185 00:07:49,166 --> 00:07:50,567 Doug, seriously, that's our superior. 186 00:07:50,633 --> 00:07:53,166 How does it make you feel when she's that inappropriate to you? 187 00:07:53,233 --> 00:07:55,667 I feel flattered. 188 00:07:55,734 --> 00:07:58,033 I feel desired. 189 00:07:58,100 --> 00:08:00,567 I feel masculine. 190 00:08:00,633 --> 00:08:03,133 Hey, Dougie. 191 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:05,633 Is that a phone in your back pocket? 192 00:08:05,700 --> 00:08:07,166 Yeah, why? 193 00:08:07,233 --> 00:08:09,400 'Cause that ass is calling me. 194 00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:16,266 And masculine. Did I say masculine? 195 00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:23,500 Remember that guy I was telling you about -- Luther? 196 00:08:23,567 --> 00:08:25,233 Yeah, yeah. 197 00:08:25,300 --> 00:08:28,467 That's not really a name you forget about easily. 198 00:08:28,533 --> 00:08:31,567 So, um, that's still an ongoing thing? 199 00:08:31,633 --> 00:08:34,000 No, not as of last week. 200 00:08:34,066 --> 00:08:36,433 Oh, that's awes...ful. 201 00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:38,500 What? That's awsful. 202 00:08:38,567 --> 00:08:40,767 That's awful. It's, uh... 203 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:45,767 That is too bad. 204 00:08:46,033 --> 00:08:48,066 Yeah. Yeah. 205 00:08:48,133 --> 00:08:50,433 What the fuck? 206 00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:54,433 Doug! 207 00:08:57,767 --> 00:08:59,533 Doug, it's Horse. 208 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:01,633 You got to let me get a shot off for the game to start. 209 00:09:01,700 --> 00:09:04,166 Sorry. I'm a natural defender. 210 00:09:04,233 --> 00:09:07,500 Hey, why don't we play with those guys over there? 211 00:09:07,567 --> 00:09:10,066 Ah, we can't. You see the guy in blue? 212 00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:12,200 He's one of my patients. 213 00:09:13,767 --> 00:09:16,066 Are you allowed to tell me that? 214 00:09:16,133 --> 00:09:18,500 Probably not. 215 00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:21,767 I fouled. My bad. 216 00:09:22,033 --> 00:09:23,200 It's on me, yeah. 217 00:09:23,266 --> 00:09:25,200 Why are you spying on him? 218 00:09:25,266 --> 00:09:26,633 I'm observing. 219 00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:29,166 When you're a therapist, it's called observing, Doug. 220 00:09:32,033 --> 00:09:33,700 Oh. 221 00:09:33,767 --> 00:09:35,100 Travel -- your ball. 222 00:09:35,166 --> 00:09:37,033 What are you doing? Dude, what the fuck?! 223 00:09:48,767 --> 00:09:51,033 [ Net swishes ] Horse! 224 00:09:51,100 --> 00:09:55,567 I have, um... a lot of dark thoughts 225 00:09:55,633 --> 00:09:58,000 in my waking state and in my sleep. 226 00:09:58,066 --> 00:09:59,333 Mm-hmm. 227 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:02,033 Um, I have trouble leaving the house. 228 00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:05,166 I have a... fear of rejection. 229 00:10:05,233 --> 00:10:07,033 Mm-hmm. And heights. 230 00:10:07,100 --> 00:10:10,133 Mm-hmm. And I think everybody hates me. 231 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:12,533 And I'm afraid of death and birds. 232 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:15,066 Okay, so you're starting with just a bullet-point list 233 00:10:15,133 --> 00:10:16,266 of all the stuff. Mm-hmm. 234 00:10:16,333 --> 00:10:18,133 Okay. That's fine. 235 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:21,500 Um, are you sure we don't know each other? 236 00:10:21,567 --> 00:10:24,333 I didn't go to high school around here, so... 237 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:27,133 Okay, sorry. Never mind. Keep going. 238 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:29,734 Um, I have this stepbrother. 239 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,166 Mm-hmm. 240 00:10:31,233 --> 00:10:32,700 He's a real piece of shit. 241 00:10:32,767 --> 00:10:34,467 [ Laughs ] I can relate to this. 242 00:10:34,533 --> 00:10:36,367 Really? Oh. More than you know. 243 00:10:36,433 --> 00:10:38,700 Oh, really? I'd get into it, but... 244 00:10:38,767 --> 00:10:40,734 Sure. But, yeah. 245 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:42,200 What is it about him that bothers you? 246 00:10:42,266 --> 00:10:44,567 He's an idiot, you know? He's stupid. 247 00:10:44,633 --> 00:10:47,166 Oh, yeah, I can relate. He likes stupid stuff. 248 00:10:47,233 --> 00:10:48,734 We're on the same page. Yeah. 249 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,033 He thinks he's better than everybody else. 250 00:10:51,100 --> 00:10:52,767 Yeah, but probably has no reason to think that. 251 00:10:53,033 --> 00:10:54,400 Yep. Yep. 252 00:10:54,467 --> 00:10:56,667 Yeah, we're definitely tracking. This is, uh... 253 00:10:56,734 --> 00:10:58,300 He's got a dumb face, like a face 254 00:10:58,367 --> 00:11:00,100 that you just want to punch but you can't. 255 00:11:00,166 --> 00:11:01,433 Sure. You know? 256 00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:03,200 Have you tried looking at the relationship 257 00:11:03,266 --> 00:11:04,734 through his perspective? 258 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:09,133 [ Scoffs ] I can't even, because he's such a loser. 259 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:11,300 You know? 260 00:11:11,367 --> 00:11:14,066 In fact, one time, I caught him masturbating 261 00:11:14,133 --> 00:11:16,000 to a skateboarding magazine. 262 00:11:16,066 --> 00:11:18,567 [ Laughs ] 263 00:11:19,700 --> 00:11:22,200 What? Yeah. 264 00:11:22,266 --> 00:11:25,333 Yeah, he was drooling looking at the half pipes. 265 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:28,600 He's a real sicko. [ Laughs ] 266 00:11:28,667 --> 00:11:31,467 [ Barry laughing ] 267 00:11:35,133 --> 00:11:36,433 All right. 268 00:11:38,133 --> 00:11:40,333 [ Screams ] 269 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:41,700 Oh, yeah! You think it's real funny, 270 00:11:41,767 --> 00:11:43,333 wasting my time with your stupid jokes? 271 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:45,100 It was pretty funny, man. Relax. 272 00:11:45,166 --> 00:11:46,367 Dude, he got you pretty good. 273 00:11:46,433 --> 00:11:47,633 Oh, he got me good? Yeah, I got you, man. 274 00:11:47,700 --> 00:11:49,166 You got me good, huh? Take a joke, bro. 275 00:11:49,233 --> 00:11:50,633 I'm trying to help people in there, all right, 276 00:11:50,700 --> 00:11:52,266 and you're wasting my time, and for the record, 277 00:11:52,333 --> 00:11:54,133 it wasn't a skateboarding magazine. 278 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:55,633 It was a Playboy wrapped inside of a skateboarding magazine. 279 00:11:55,700 --> 00:11:57,333 What in the world is going on out here?! 280 00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:59,000 The neighbors can hear this. 281 00:11:59,066 --> 00:12:01,033 Yeah, and I just fixed this railing, by the way. 282 00:12:01,100 --> 00:12:02,633 Your idiot son thinks he's being funny, 283 00:12:02,700 --> 00:12:04,000 but he's wasting my time. 284 00:12:04,066 --> 00:12:05,367 Renetta? 285 00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:07,266 David, Barry is not an idiot. 286 00:12:07,333 --> 00:12:09,033 Okay, fine, he's an asshole, then. 287 00:12:09,100 --> 00:12:10,400 Yeah, this asshole just took a deuce 288 00:12:10,467 --> 00:12:12,233 on your fake therapy sessions. A what? 289 00:12:12,300 --> 00:12:13,633 You're ruining our lives. Renetta: Barry. 290 00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:16,100 Barry, I want you to come inside with me right now. 291 00:12:16,166 --> 00:12:17,300 Kyle, go home. 292 00:12:17,367 --> 00:12:18,667 You got it, Mrs. T. 293 00:12:18,734 --> 00:12:20,600 Everybody knows this moron? 294 00:12:20,667 --> 00:12:22,633 Hey, man, just think of it as fake practice 295 00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:24,066 for your fake practice. 296 00:12:24,133 --> 00:12:25,166 Shut up. Get inside. 297 00:12:25,233 --> 00:12:26,700 Inside right now. 298 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,433 Rollie: What the hell did he say anyway? 299 00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:30,166 He got one of his friends to pretend to be a patient, 300 00:12:30,233 --> 00:12:32,233 tried to embarrass me with stuff he knows about me. 301 00:12:32,300 --> 00:12:34,133 The skateboarding magazine stuff? 302 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,166 No, it was a Playboy wrapped inside -- 303 00:12:36,233 --> 00:12:37,600 Look, David, we all know 304 00:12:37,667 --> 00:12:39,567 you're going through a tough time, okay? 305 00:12:39,633 --> 00:12:42,767 And your mom told me she cosigned those loans. 306 00:12:43,033 --> 00:12:44,367 [ Sighs ] 307 00:12:44,433 --> 00:12:46,100 Rollie... It's all right. 308 00:12:46,166 --> 00:12:47,333 I mean, if we're gonna go down, 309 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:48,600 we're all gonna go down together. 310 00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:50,133 We're not going down. I don't know. 311 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:52,233 That's a lot of ones and zeros, I tell you. 312 00:12:52,300 --> 00:12:56,266 But, look, I know you're all about this being a doctor thing, 313 00:12:56,333 --> 00:12:58,400 but things change. 314 00:12:58,467 --> 00:13:01,667 You know, there's a lot of ups and downs in life. Look at me. 315 00:13:01,734 --> 00:13:04,734 Before I met your mom, I was a single dad in the '90s 316 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,000 living with a kid who was a complete... 317 00:13:07,066 --> 00:13:09,166 Well, you know Barry. Yeah. 318 00:13:09,233 --> 00:13:11,033 [ Refrigerator door slams ] Barry... 319 00:13:11,100 --> 00:13:14,166 I know you think you have to act like a tough guy, 320 00:13:14,233 --> 00:13:16,133 but I can see underneath all that, 321 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:18,333 and I know that somewhere in there, 322 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,734 you are nothing but a sweetheart. 323 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,000 What are you talking about? I'm not sweet. 324 00:13:23,066 --> 00:13:26,300 What is wrong with this orange? Is it real? Just... 325 00:13:26,367 --> 00:13:28,166 I was so angry all the time. 326 00:13:28,233 --> 00:13:31,333 My mind was just a polluted ocean 327 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:34,467 full of crap with fish swimming around in nets. 328 00:13:34,533 --> 00:13:36,300 And, you know, you'd cut them open, 329 00:13:36,367 --> 00:13:38,700 they'd be full of bottle caps and six-pack rings. 330 00:13:38,767 --> 00:13:41,166 I mean, the madness just wouldn't stop. 331 00:13:41,233 --> 00:13:42,734 Thanks, Rollie. This is helping. 332 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,266 But, hey, instead of just teeing off on people 333 00:13:45,333 --> 00:13:49,100 and wanting to jack somebody all the time, now I count to 200. 334 00:13:49,166 --> 00:13:51,200 What? I'm serious. This works. 335 00:13:51,266 --> 00:13:52,767 Try it with me. 336 00:13:53,033 --> 00:13:54,233 One... 337 00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:55,700 two... 338 00:13:55,767 --> 00:13:58,467 three, four... Three, four... 339 00:13:58,533 --> 00:14:02,633 Well, you know I went down to the Y to cancel my dance class 340 00:14:02,700 --> 00:14:05,266 because things are pretty tight around here. 341 00:14:05,333 --> 00:14:06,533 And what do you know. 342 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:09,700 Someone had prepaid my dance class 343 00:14:09,767 --> 00:14:11,266 through the end of the year. 344 00:14:11,333 --> 00:14:14,066 Do you know who that someone was? 345 00:14:14,133 --> 00:14:15,367 No. 346 00:14:17,033 --> 00:14:19,166 It was you, Barry. 347 00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:21,000 You can't prove it. 348 00:14:21,066 --> 00:14:23,066 That guy paid cash. 349 00:14:23,133 --> 00:14:24,367 Shit. 350 00:14:24,433 --> 00:14:25,700 [ Chuckles ] 351 00:14:25,767 --> 00:14:32,367 ...63, 64, 65... ...63, 64, 65... 352 00:14:32,433 --> 00:14:35,400 Well, it's not the worst thing in the world 353 00:14:35,467 --> 00:14:37,433 to let people know you're a good person. 354 00:14:37,500 --> 00:14:39,033 Please don't tell Brittany. 355 00:14:39,100 --> 00:14:41,033 If she finds out I do nice shit for people... 356 00:14:41,100 --> 00:14:44,133 Oh, no. It's too soon in your relationship for that, no. 357 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:46,100 The expectations are just -- they're so low right now. 358 00:14:46,166 --> 00:14:48,233 Keep them low. It's the right move for the moment. 359 00:14:48,300 --> 00:14:50,033 It's a sweet spot. That's right. 360 00:14:50,100 --> 00:14:55,734 ...143, 144, 145... ...143, 144, 145... 361 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:57,233 Thanks, Rollie. This is really helping. 362 00:14:57,300 --> 00:15:00,433 Hey, hey, just let the exercise do its job. 363 00:15:02,133 --> 00:15:10,633 ...147, 148, 149, 150... ...147, 148, 149, 150... 364 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:17,667 What are you doing? 365 00:15:19,567 --> 00:15:22,333 Um, waiting for my appointment. 366 00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:24,367 And what else are you doing? 367 00:15:24,433 --> 00:15:27,166 Flipping though this People magazine. 368 00:15:27,233 --> 00:15:30,133 The reading material is for paying customers. 369 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:31,533 This is from 2007. 370 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:34,200 Are you saying there was no money in 2007? 371 00:15:34,266 --> 00:15:36,233 Pay up or put it down. 372 00:15:36,300 --> 00:15:38,300 I'm not paying for a magazine from 2007. 373 00:15:38,367 --> 00:15:40,667 Then put it down. 374 00:15:54,033 --> 00:15:55,500 I see you reading. 375 00:15:55,567 --> 00:15:58,100 Come on. Kid Rock got in a fight at a Waffle House. 376 00:15:58,166 --> 00:15:59,400 I just want to know what happened. 377 00:15:59,467 --> 00:16:01,633 The charges were dropped. Give me the magazine. 378 00:16:12,233 --> 00:16:14,033 [ Chuckles ] 379 00:16:16,567 --> 00:16:19,300 This thing is so old. 380 00:16:20,467 --> 00:16:22,667 [ Magazine thuds ] 381 00:16:24,767 --> 00:16:27,166 So, confronting him is good sometimes? 382 00:16:27,233 --> 00:16:31,500 Absolutely. Focus on the conflict at hand. 383 00:16:31,567 --> 00:16:35,400 Advocate for yourself, and then let go. 384 00:16:35,467 --> 00:16:38,333 Stop reliving that injury. 385 00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:40,200 David, I understand it's very difficult 386 00:16:40,266 --> 00:16:42,066 to change our own thought patterns. 387 00:16:42,133 --> 00:16:44,467 But the beauty is that we actually can. 388 00:16:44,533 --> 00:16:46,033 Okay. 389 00:16:46,100 --> 00:16:48,233 Meditating 12 minutes in the morning 390 00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:49,667 has been proven 391 00:16:49,734 --> 00:16:53,200 to change our most deeply ingrained thought patterns. 392 00:16:53,266 --> 00:16:55,700 What's your understanding of meditation? 393 00:16:55,767 --> 00:16:58,133 Uh, if you're able to focus on the cycle 394 00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:00,633 of the breath going in and out, particularly the nostrils... 395 00:17:00,700 --> 00:17:02,233 Mm-hmm. 396 00:17:02,300 --> 00:17:05,200 ...then you can kind of slow down your thoughts 397 00:17:05,266 --> 00:17:09,333 so that as they appear, you kind of register them 398 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:11,567 and see, like, "Okay, that's that thought," 399 00:17:11,633 --> 00:17:13,333 and then it kind of moves on. 400 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:14,600 And you see the next thought come up. 401 00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:16,400 And you're like, "Okay, that's that thought." 402 00:17:16,467 --> 00:17:19,333 And then that moves on. And then, soon, 403 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:21,633 you can kind of pick and choose which thoughts to focus on, 404 00:17:21,700 --> 00:17:24,333 but your ultimate goal is for all of them to fall. 405 00:17:26,367 --> 00:17:29,367 That's a very good description. 406 00:17:29,433 --> 00:17:32,367 I'd be mindful that you don't give yourself a headache. 407 00:17:32,433 --> 00:17:34,233 How come? 408 00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:35,700 Um... 409 00:17:35,767 --> 00:17:37,500 something was happening with your eyes 410 00:17:37,567 --> 00:17:39,233 while you were watching your thoughts. Oh, well, no. 411 00:17:39,300 --> 00:17:41,100 Your eyes are closed when you're meditating. Great. 412 00:17:41,166 --> 00:17:43,400 Yeah. Just making sure. 413 00:17:43,467 --> 00:17:46,500 [ Sighs ] All right, boys. What do you want? 414 00:17:46,567 --> 00:17:48,400 I don't have all night. 415 00:17:48,467 --> 00:17:50,367 Doug, do you have something to say? 416 00:17:50,433 --> 00:17:52,500 No, not really. 417 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:57,166 Okay, well, I... 418 00:17:57,233 --> 00:18:01,467 we are a little tired of all the sexual harassment. 419 00:18:01,533 --> 00:18:04,467 You tell me who's doing this to you, 420 00:18:04,533 --> 00:18:07,133 and they are out of here tonight. 421 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:09,467 It's you. 422 00:18:09,533 --> 00:18:12,200 [ Scoffs ] Are you serious? 423 00:18:12,266 --> 00:18:14,233 You mean to tell me you're getting your little panties 424 00:18:14,300 --> 00:18:17,166 all in a wad over a few compliments. 425 00:18:17,233 --> 00:18:19,400 See, that right there, we don't wear panties. 426 00:18:19,467 --> 00:18:22,667 You would look good in them, especially Dougie. 427 00:18:22,734 --> 00:18:25,166 You seen those new jeans he's got? 428 00:18:25,233 --> 00:18:27,367 He practically paints them on. 429 00:18:29,333 --> 00:18:31,400 Come on, Doug. You heard what she just said. 430 00:18:31,467 --> 00:18:33,033 Back me up here. 431 00:18:33,100 --> 00:18:35,600 I mean, I did get a size too small on purpose. 432 00:18:35,667 --> 00:18:37,533 I knew it. 433 00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:40,233 Somebody leaving the candy out, trying to tempt me. 434 00:18:40,300 --> 00:18:42,667 Okay, you can't say stuff like that. 435 00:18:45,266 --> 00:18:48,567 David... can we have the room... 436 00:18:48,633 --> 00:18:51,600 for professional reasons? 437 00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:56,633 Get out now. 438 00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:04,200 You've got to be kidding me. 439 00:19:04,266 --> 00:19:08,500 David, your co-worker has asked you to leave the room. 440 00:19:08,567 --> 00:19:11,133 I would like you to show him a little respect 441 00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:13,500 by honoring his request. 442 00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,567 [ Door opens ] 443 00:19:21,633 --> 00:19:24,500 Just... [ Sighs ] 444 00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:30,333 So, what happened with, uh, you and this Luther guy? 445 00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:33,667 Um... 446 00:19:33,734 --> 00:19:40,633 well, uh, he said that I was -- I was too closed off. 447 00:19:42,367 --> 00:19:47,333 That I wasn't 100% in or that I had too many walls up. 448 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,233 The usual. 449 00:19:49,300 --> 00:19:52,467 The usual? Is this something that you hear a lot? 450 00:19:52,533 --> 00:19:55,400 Yeah. Only in every relationship I've ever been in. 451 00:19:55,467 --> 00:19:56,767 [ Chuckles ] 452 00:19:58,333 --> 00:20:01,500 I mean, I know what it is. It's a -- It's a trust thing. 453 00:20:02,667 --> 00:20:06,233 Okay. Do you have a difficult time trusting people? 454 00:20:06,300 --> 00:20:07,400 [ Chuckles ] 455 00:20:07,467 --> 00:20:10,333 I guess my parents' horrible divorce 456 00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,633 gave me some trust issues. 457 00:20:12,700 --> 00:20:15,734 Look, I -- I know where it comes from. 458 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,200 I get it. And it's not even -- 459 00:20:18,266 --> 00:20:22,500 I'm not even, like, sad about Luther. 460 00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:27,166 I think I'm sad... 461 00:20:27,233 --> 00:20:30,200 about what that says about me. 462 00:20:30,266 --> 00:20:33,734 Like, am I never gonna be able to trust anyone? 463 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:37,200 Or be in a real relationship? 464 00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:42,667 Like, am I... 465 00:20:42,734 --> 00:20:45,333 am I gonna be alone forever because of this? 466 00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:46,700 [ Chuckles ] 467 00:20:46,767 --> 00:20:49,734 I just -- I really -- I don't want my parents' shit 468 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,600 to ruin my chance at being happy. 469 00:20:53,767 --> 00:20:56,433 I'm really sorry that happened to you. 470 00:20:56,500 --> 00:20:58,266 Me too. 471 00:20:59,333 --> 00:21:02,166 It sounds like you dodged a bullet with this Luther guy. 472 00:21:02,233 --> 00:21:04,433 So I think you should feel good about that. 473 00:21:04,500 --> 00:21:06,266 Thanks. 474 00:21:06,333 --> 00:21:08,133 Where did you meet this guy anyway? 475 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,500 Oh, I was walking a dog. Oh, you have a dog? 476 00:21:10,567 --> 00:21:14,000 No, no, no. I -- I love dogs, but, no, I-I just walk them. 477 00:21:14,066 --> 00:21:15,667 Oh, okay. But he has a dog. 478 00:21:15,734 --> 00:21:18,000 Oh. Who's gorgeous. 479 00:21:18,066 --> 00:21:20,367 Dogs love me. They come up to me. 480 00:21:20,433 --> 00:21:21,567 Well, that's great. Yeah. 481 00:21:21,633 --> 00:21:23,700 Dogs have a good sense of people. 482 00:21:23,767 --> 00:21:25,033 Well... Personalities. 483 00:21:25,100 --> 00:21:27,233 I like to -- Like, when I see a dog, 484 00:21:27,300 --> 00:21:30,033 I like to try to communicate telepathically with it 485 00:21:30,100 --> 00:21:32,033 and let it know that I'm okay. 486 00:21:32,100 --> 00:21:33,500 How do you do that? 487 00:21:33,567 --> 00:21:36,033 Well, in my head, I just say, like, you know, 488 00:21:36,100 --> 00:21:38,667 you're a good boy and I'm a good boy. 489 00:21:38,734 --> 00:21:40,400 [ Laughs ] What? 490 00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:43,667 You say, "I'm a good boy"? 491 00:21:43,734 --> 00:21:46,567 Yeah, well, I am. I'm a good boy. 492 00:21:46,633 --> 00:21:49,667 Yeah, but why do you need to tell a dog that? 493 00:21:49,734 --> 00:21:52,400 'Cause I want the dog to believe that I'm a good boy, too. 494 00:21:52,467 --> 00:21:55,467 We're both good boys. We're gonna get along. 495 00:21:55,533 --> 00:21:57,066 You know? 496 00:21:57,133 --> 00:21:59,533 I don't even understand why I have to trash-talk. 497 00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:01,700 It's all about distracting your opponent. 498 00:22:01,767 --> 00:22:03,667 The more offensive the trash talking is, 499 00:22:03,734 --> 00:22:05,567 the more distracted the other player will be. 500 00:22:05,633 --> 00:22:07,400 So just pretend that we're playing one-on-one. 501 00:22:07,467 --> 00:22:09,000 I got the ball, you're guarding me. 502 00:22:09,066 --> 00:22:10,667 I'm gonna hand you a card, and you're saying that to me 503 00:22:10,734 --> 00:22:12,500 like it's trash talk. 504 00:22:12,567 --> 00:22:14,633 I tweaked it a little bit and took out the swearing for you. 505 00:22:14,700 --> 00:22:16,000 Cool? All right. 506 00:22:16,066 --> 00:22:18,033 Okay, let's start. 507 00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:22,467 You shoot so bad, they should charge you for free throws. 508 00:22:22,533 --> 00:22:24,567 Okay, good, good. All right, but this time, 509 00:22:24,633 --> 00:22:27,367 really mean it, all right? 510 00:22:27,433 --> 00:22:29,333 I haven't seen a rebound that ugly 511 00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:31,233 since your father remarried. 512 00:22:31,300 --> 00:22:32,700 Good, but still a little hesitant. 513 00:22:32,767 --> 00:22:34,567 Be aggressive with it. 514 00:22:35,700 --> 00:22:37,734 I haven't seen a rebound that ugly 515 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,734 since your father remarried! Good. 516 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:41,600 All right, I see the confidence in your shoulders. 517 00:22:41,667 --> 00:22:43,400 Okay, you got some swagger. Throw it at me. 518 00:22:43,467 --> 00:22:44,600 You're insulting me. 519 00:22:44,667 --> 00:22:46,400 I haven't stuffed anybody that hard 520 00:22:46,467 --> 00:22:48,567 since I deleted Grindr. Yeah. 521 00:22:48,633 --> 00:22:49,767 What's Grindr? Doesn't matter. 522 00:22:50,033 --> 00:22:51,467 Now you're on a roll, okay? 523 00:22:51,533 --> 00:22:53,100 You're really meaning it. Point it at me. 524 00:22:53,166 --> 00:22:55,367 This is aggressive. You hate my guts. Say it. 525 00:22:55,433 --> 00:22:57,100 I'm gonna cut off your face, wear it on my ass, 526 00:22:57,166 --> 00:22:59,233 and shit out your mouth! 527 00:23:02,066 --> 00:23:04,467 Yeah, I went too far with that one. I-I'm sorry. 528 00:23:04,533 --> 00:23:07,400 But you're getting the hang of it. 529 00:23:07,467 --> 00:23:09,500 "September 11, 2001. 530 00:23:09,567 --> 00:23:11,433 David and Doug said they were going to 531 00:23:11,500 --> 00:23:14,033 give me a ride home from school, but they left without me." 532 00:23:15,467 --> 00:23:17,700 That's your only takeaway from that day? 533 00:23:17,767 --> 00:23:19,700 There's nothing in there about 9/11? 534 00:23:19,767 --> 00:23:22,433 That's not the point. Kendra, I'm happy that you're venting, 535 00:23:22,500 --> 00:23:24,433 but I don't see how this is helping you. 536 00:23:24,500 --> 00:23:26,033 I do. 537 00:23:26,100 --> 00:23:27,433 Let's see... 538 00:23:27,500 --> 00:23:30,166 "November 26, 2001. 539 00:23:30,233 --> 00:23:33,500 David promised to take me to the Fall Social, but stupid me. 540 00:23:33,567 --> 00:23:35,400 He lied, and I fell for it." 541 00:23:35,467 --> 00:23:37,200 Okay, all right, stop right there. 542 00:23:37,266 --> 00:23:39,700 I-I-I never agreed to that. Yes, you did! 543 00:23:39,767 --> 00:23:41,533 No, I never said that -- Yes, you did! 544 00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:43,000 You said you would go with me! 545 00:23:43,066 --> 00:23:44,066 You've been blaming this on me for years. 546 00:23:44,133 --> 00:23:45,400 I wouldn't make that up! 547 00:23:45,467 --> 00:23:46,667 You said you'd go to the dance, 548 00:23:46,734 --> 00:23:48,000 and you didn't show up. 549 00:23:48,066 --> 00:23:49,533 I remember never saying yes. 550 00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:52,533 Okay, listen, you were watching the WWE Survivor Series 551 00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:54,567 with Doug and a bunch of his friends. 552 00:23:54,633 --> 00:23:56,467 And I came in with pizza, and I was like... 553 00:23:56,533 --> 00:23:58,533 ♪ Ba da ba ba ba, I'm lovin' it ♪ 554 00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:00,000 And you said, "Shut up." 555 00:24:00,066 --> 00:24:01,433 And then after the Rock won, I said, 556 00:24:01,500 --> 00:24:03,667 "Do you want to go to the dance?" 557 00:24:03,734 --> 00:24:06,000 And you said, "Sure, only if you can smell what the Rock is cooking." 558 00:24:06,066 --> 00:24:08,033 And I said, "I can. See you at 7:00." 559 00:24:08,100 --> 00:24:10,500 And you said, "Yeah, sure, whatever." 560 00:24:16,066 --> 00:24:18,734 Then there I was at 7:00... 561 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,033 standing alone in the corner 562 00:24:21,100 --> 00:24:25,100 in a T.J. Maxx dress, 'cause that's all my mom could afford. 563 00:24:25,166 --> 00:24:28,400 And I felt fucking stupid! 564 00:24:30,700 --> 00:24:33,767 It was like, for once, I hoped things were gonna be different, 565 00:24:34,033 --> 00:24:36,500 and...they weren't. 566 00:24:38,533 --> 00:24:42,433 Next stop, potato salad, alone in the closet. 567 00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:47,734 [ Sighs ] 568 00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:50,133 Kendra, I'm sorry. 569 00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:52,433 Doug and I didn't even go to the dance. 570 00:24:52,500 --> 00:24:54,533 We spent the whole night throwing two liters of soda 571 00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:57,000 off the overpass and watching them explode. 572 00:24:57,066 --> 00:24:58,467 I know, 'cause I went to the fridge, 573 00:24:58,533 --> 00:25:00,600 and all the Mountain Dew was gone. 574 00:25:00,667 --> 00:25:02,633 Double whammy. 575 00:25:02,700 --> 00:25:04,200 Look... 576 00:25:04,266 --> 00:25:06,600 I can't go into the past and fix any of that. 577 00:25:08,433 --> 00:25:10,200 But if coming in here and telling me 578 00:25:10,266 --> 00:25:13,333 about all the ways that I hurt you makes you feel better, 579 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:17,100 then I will listen for as long as it takes. 580 00:25:18,533 --> 00:25:19,767 Good. 581 00:25:21,100 --> 00:25:24,433 "November 27, 2001. 582 00:25:24,500 --> 00:25:27,200 David told me that he got some fake throw-up, 583 00:25:27,266 --> 00:25:30,266 and I touched it, and it was real throw-up." 584 00:25:37,033 --> 00:25:39,200 I think your mother's very attractive. 585 00:25:39,266 --> 00:25:40,667 What? 586 00:25:43,033 --> 00:25:44,633 That's game. Okay, I got next. 587 00:25:44,700 --> 00:25:46,533 I got next. Dr. Tracy, what are you doing here? 588 00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:49,166 I got a plan, okay? I've been watching. 589 00:25:49,233 --> 00:25:51,100 Look, you need to use profanity, okay? 590 00:25:51,166 --> 00:25:52,233 I can't. Yes, you can. 591 00:25:52,300 --> 00:25:54,066 Follow my lead, all right? 592 00:25:54,133 --> 00:25:56,633 All right, let's do this, okay? Come on, let's roll. 593 00:25:56,700 --> 00:25:59,333 ♪ 594 00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:05,533 Hey, call me a skinny-ass punk. 595 00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:07,300 No, man. Come on, man. 596 00:26:07,367 --> 00:26:09,300 I thought this guy was coming to play for real. 597 00:26:09,367 --> 00:26:11,100 Will you relax? I'm relaxed, dude. 598 00:26:11,166 --> 00:26:12,600 I'm very, very relaxed. 599 00:26:12,667 --> 00:26:14,700 But this guy said he was good, and I think he's lying. 600 00:26:14,767 --> 00:26:17,300 Cool it, man. I need to see something right now. 601 00:26:24,100 --> 00:26:25,667 Oh! 602 00:26:25,734 --> 00:26:27,667 Ooh. 603 00:26:27,734 --> 00:26:31,000 How's my ass taste, titty baby? 604 00:26:31,066 --> 00:26:33,266 Yeah! 605 00:26:33,333 --> 00:26:36,266 Tastes good. That's what I'm talking about. 606 00:26:36,333 --> 00:26:38,500 Let's do this. 607 00:26:38,567 --> 00:26:40,533 Let's keep playing for real now. 608 00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:41,767 All right, it's your ball. 609 00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:45,367 Your defense is worse than Weezer's third album. 610 00:26:45,433 --> 00:26:47,467 It's like a hot dog eating contest, 611 00:26:47,533 --> 00:26:49,533 but you're only eating one, and it's my dick. 612 00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:51,600 You suck at basketball. 613 00:26:51,667 --> 00:26:53,500 Also, you got to get that mole checked out. 614 00:26:57,233 --> 00:27:01,000 Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Oh. 615 00:27:01,066 --> 00:27:02,500 Oh, I'm a nasty man. 616 00:27:02,567 --> 00:27:04,266 You need to start paying rent in my bathroom 617 00:27:04,333 --> 00:27:06,300 for how much you eat my shit. 618 00:27:06,367 --> 00:27:08,133 Dude. What are you doing? What? 619 00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:09,567 I'm getting in the flow of the game, man. 620 00:27:09,633 --> 00:27:11,667 I'm putting these clowns on blast. 621 00:27:11,734 --> 00:27:14,166 They showed up like this was some fucking kids birthday party. 622 00:27:14,233 --> 00:27:17,467 Let's go! Come on! Let's roll. 623 00:27:17,533 --> 00:27:19,633 You miss more shots than Jenny McCarthy's kids. 624 00:27:19,700 --> 00:27:23,300 ♪ 625 00:27:28,133 --> 00:27:30,033 Yeah. Yeah. 626 00:27:30,100 --> 00:27:32,133 What are you looking at? I'll tell you what you're looking at. 627 00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:33,633 Your future stepdad. 628 00:27:33,700 --> 00:27:35,700 You're all looking at your future stepdads. 629 00:27:35,767 --> 00:27:38,266 Call up your moms, invite them over to my house, all right? 630 00:27:38,333 --> 00:27:40,567 It's gonna be like "Full House," but with banging. 631 00:27:40,633 --> 00:27:45,567 Okay. You guys look upset, and I understand that. 632 00:27:45,633 --> 00:27:48,000 What I want us all to do now is close our eyes 633 00:27:48,066 --> 00:27:50,133 and, um, count to 200. 634 00:27:54,567 --> 00:27:56,066 So, how do you think it's going? 635 00:27:56,133 --> 00:27:58,300 I think I'm getting really good at this. 636 00:28:00,166 --> 00:28:02,233 I'm having a lot of fun. 637 00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:18,166 ♪ 638 00:28:18,233 --> 00:28:32,166 ♪ 639 00:28:32,233 --> 00:28:46,000 ♪ 640 00:28:46,066 --> 00:28:49,333 [ Latin music plays ] 47531

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