Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,251 --> 00:00:03,337
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
2
00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:04,421
Hello?
3
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:06,632
Hello, "dog," it's Principal Foster.
4
00:00:06,715 --> 00:00:08,717
Oh, hey. Did you just call me "dog"?
5
00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,719
You're vice principal now. We're peers.
6
00:00:10,802 --> 00:00:12,221
-Oh.
-Good news, I have
7
00:00:12,304 --> 00:00:14,389
a replacement for your science class.
8
00:00:14,473 --> 00:00:16,475
It's about time,
you old son of a bitch.
9
00:00:16,558 --> 00:00:17,559
What?
10
00:00:18,060 --> 00:00:19,478
-Too casual?
-Uh, what?
11
00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:20,979
-Hello?
-Sorry, what? You're breaking up.
12
00:00:21,063 --> 00:00:22,064
-Hello?
-Dog?
13
00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:24,066
-Hello? Sorry, hello?
-(STATIC) I can't... ...hear you.
14
00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:25,526
Bad reception, sorry.
15
00:00:25,609 --> 00:00:26,693
-Hold on.
-(STATIC) ...breaking up...
16
00:00:26,777 --> 00:00:29,029
I'm so sorry. They're building
a new building next door
17
00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:30,280
and I have terrible reception.
18
00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:33,033
Hey, no more phone calls!
Get out of my room!
19
00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:34,826
It's the only place I can get
a signal, dude, you know that.
20
00:00:34,910 --> 00:00:36,036
-Out!
-Look at the stick,
21
00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:37,788
-is it red or blue?
-Get out of my room.
22
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:40,332
-Well, sir, I...
-Hello? Hello? Hello?
23
00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:42,876
-Is it red or blue?
-Hey, ow, Schmidt!
24
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:44,294
The scarf has been
backordered a month.
25
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:45,921
Meanwhile the hat is just sitting here.
26
00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:47,464
-This is not a business center.
-Hello?
27
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:48,757
-Get out of my room.
-Hello?
28
00:00:48,841 --> 00:00:49,842
-It's my man time.
-WINSTON: Mama?
29
00:00:49,925 --> 00:00:52,302
-Mama, unplug it, okay?
-SCHMIDT: Hello? Hello.
30
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,555
If you unplug it,
it cannot electrocute you.
31
00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:56,014
-It's blue? Oh, yes!
-JESS: Mr. Foster...
32
00:00:56,098 --> 00:00:57,349
-No, I don't want blue.
-JESS: Hello, dog. Dog?
33
00:00:57,432 --> 00:00:59,226
With a bisque hat? I'll look insane!
34
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:01,103
Why do you have an electric guitar?
35
00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:03,146
-Aah!
-Hello?
36
00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:07,150
This phone situation has me really
jazzed up! Excuse my language.
37
00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:08,527
Now, I'm gonna propose something.
38
00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:10,237
Something insane.
39
00:01:10,696 --> 00:01:12,698
Now you just all have to stay calm
40
00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:14,157
and trust me.
41
00:01:15,701 --> 00:01:16,827
Fascinating.
42
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:17,995
Where do you put your music?
43
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,121
Why is there a rope?
44
00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:20,956
-(PHONE RINGS)
-(GASPS) It's ringing.
45
00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:22,916
-Whoa, that's cool.
-Just like the movies.
46
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,835
We should answer it with,
like, really funny voices.
47
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:27,004
-Yeah.
-We don't know who it is.
48
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,047
-It could be anybody.
-Could be Tanya from sixth grade.
49
00:01:29,131 --> 00:01:31,091
-Yeah.
-(STOPS RINGING)
50
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:33,010
-Oh...
-Oh.
51
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:34,845
Next time it rings, we should answer it.
52
00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:36,763
(SINGING) Who's that girl?
53
00:01:36,847 --> 00:01:37,848
Who's that girl?
54
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,099
Who's that girl?
55
00:01:39,183 --> 00:01:40,184
Who's that girl?
56
00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:41,268
It's Jess!
57
00:01:43,395 --> 00:01:44,730
Just can't stop looking at this thing.
58
00:01:44,813 --> 00:01:46,982
Man, I used to be so great
at talking on the phone, man.
59
00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:48,233
You know, something about the cord
60
00:01:48,317 --> 00:01:51,153
and the handset that
just really set me at ease.
61
00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:52,779
You were weirdly smooth.
62
00:01:52,905 --> 00:01:54,281
If you slow dance with Nick,
63
00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:55,741
I'll hold hands with Amy.
64
00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:57,868
Just make sure she cut
her fingernails, though.
65
00:01:58,035 --> 00:01:59,286
Tell her I'll make her a mix tape.
66
00:01:59,369 --> 00:02:00,829
I'm just being stupid.
67
00:02:00,913 --> 00:02:02,164
Tell her I'll make her a mix tape.
68
00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:03,832
It was going great, by the way.
69
00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:05,000
If this isn't sexy,
70
00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:06,210
I don't know what the heck is.
71
00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:08,128
Something just came over him.
72
00:02:08,212 --> 00:02:09,296
He was amazing.
73
00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:10,964
I'm just excited to add a third number.
74
00:02:11,048 --> 00:02:12,883
Home, work and cell.
75
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:14,927
Damn, I'm reachable.
I'm definitely gonna
76
00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:17,221
mention that in my profile
in Business, Man! magazine.
77
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:18,805
-Businessman magazine?
-No, no, no. Check that out.
78
00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:20,849
Business, Man! magazine.
79
00:02:20,933 --> 00:02:23,101
I've gotten a lot of heat
from working on the sponge account.
80
00:02:23,185 --> 00:02:25,938
I'm telling you,
this is the first step in my quest
81
00:02:26,021 --> 00:02:27,731
-to becoming a millionaire.
-Well, I think that's a weird plan,
82
00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:29,274
but let's drink to it, who's in?
83
00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:31,360
No, come on, I got to study
for my interview.
84
00:02:31,443 --> 00:02:34,279
Oh, I would, man, but I got a
lot of police stuff to study.
85
00:02:34,363 --> 00:02:35,405
You know, like, roads,
86
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:36,573
laws, bullets...
87
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,367
Be really nice if you guys
spent some time
88
00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:42,037
and studied your friend Nick.
Pop quiz, hotshots.
89
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:43,413
I miss you guys.
90
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,457
I don't understand what you're saying.
Are you asking me a question?
91
00:02:45,541 --> 00:02:46,917
For real, though, I miss you.
92
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,293
So we would just
sit around and drink all day?
93
00:02:48,377 --> 00:02:50,212
Aw, forget it, man! I'm storming off.
94
00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:51,880
(PHONE RINGS)
95
00:02:51,964 --> 00:02:53,423
Oh!
96
00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:56,218
Good morning,
Vice Principal Day speaking.
97
00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:58,178
What... Calm down!
98
00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:00,222
What? Coach?
99
00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:01,431
(WHISPERING) Coach...
100
00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:03,517
Are you sleeping with the school nurse?
101
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:04,685
Jess, are you crazy?
102
00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:05,894
Of course I'm sleeping
with the school nurse.
103
00:03:05,978 --> 00:03:07,479
-What?
-Mazel tov.
104
00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:09,982
-My man. Much respect.
-Look at you getting up in there.
105
00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:11,984
-Yeah. Living the dream.
-Great.
106
00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:13,819
-SCHMIDT: That's really hot, dude.
-That's really great. For me.
107
00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:17,781
We have to fill out a form
declaring our relationship?
108
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:19,366
Yes, it's a legal thing.
109
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:21,577
We're just covering our asses.
110
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:24,121
While you uncover yours.
111
00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:27,416
Sorry, that was an unfortunate joke.
112
00:03:27,499 --> 00:03:28,500
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
113
00:03:28,584 --> 00:03:30,586
Um, anyway, uh, how did this start?
114
00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:33,005
Uh, fine. A couple
of weeks ago I got a cut.
115
00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:34,173
-JESS: Mmm-hmm.
-And I went to the nurse.
116
00:03:34,256 --> 00:03:35,549
-Okay.
-And when I saw her,
117
00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:36,925
I was like, "damn."
118
00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:39,970
And I was, like,
"You frickin' got a cut."
119
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:41,763
COACH: And I was like,
"You frickin' better fix it."
120
00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:43,724
And she was like, "No. Cuts are gross."
121
00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:45,726
-Yeah.
-And then we had sex.
122
00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:46,852
Yeah.
123
00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:49,354
That's disturbing... on so many levels.
124
00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:50,856
Um, I'm sorry, but your outfit
125
00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:52,983
looks like you got it
at a Halloween store.
126
00:03:53,108 --> 00:03:55,277
Thank you. Coach got it for me.
127
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,821
It's a child's medium. (GIGGLES)
128
00:03:57,905 --> 00:04:00,032
What'd you put for
"nature of relationship"? "Girlfriend"?
129
00:04:00,115 --> 00:04:01,825
Well, that's what I actually
wanted to talk to you about.
130
00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:03,452
-'Cause, uh, we hadn't...
-Question mark?
131
00:04:03,535 --> 00:04:05,579
Um, it didn't feel like a question mark
132
00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:08,290
when you put a calamari on my finger
like an engagement ring.
133
00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:10,042
That didn't seem like
a question mark to you?
134
00:04:10,125 --> 00:04:11,126
-And it's squid.
-Jess,
135
00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:12,211
someone's in my parking spot again.
136
00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:14,254
-Not now, Rose.
-Hey, Ernie.
137
00:04:14,505 --> 00:04:16,006
-Hey.
-Last night was really fun.
138
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:18,133
I found your swim trunks.
139
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:21,053
-They're ruined. Really fun.
-Ah, come on. Yeah?
140
00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:23,222
I thought you ditched this bitch.
141
00:04:23,305 --> 00:04:25,516
I will send your weave
right back to the loom!
142
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:26,683
-Oh, no, no.
-Guys...
143
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,393
-Oh, yeah!
-Ladies, stop.
144
00:04:28,477 --> 00:04:29,978
-(BOTH ARGUING)
-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
145
00:04:30,062 --> 00:04:31,104
See what you did?
146
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:33,315
This is a different form.
147
00:04:35,484 --> 00:04:37,694
-(PHONE RINGING)
-(GROANS)
148
00:04:42,241 --> 00:04:43,325
All right.
149
00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:45,410
-(RINGING CONTINUES)
-Settle down, I'm coming.
150
00:04:47,079 --> 00:04:48,330
Hello?
151
00:04:48,539 --> 00:04:50,165
No, Schmidt's not here.
152
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,209
No one's here. I'm here by myself.
153
00:04:53,085 --> 00:04:54,753
Because I work at night,
which means I'm probably
154
00:04:54,837 --> 00:04:56,922
the one who should answer
the phone during the day.
155
00:04:57,381 --> 00:04:59,424
Great, yeah, I'll tell him.
156
00:05:02,261 --> 00:05:03,387
(SIGHS)
157
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:06,890
Great. Let's get a phone
so Nick can answer it.
158
00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:10,936
-(PHONE RINGS)
-(SIGHS)
159
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,022
(GROANS)
160
00:05:18,861 --> 00:05:20,320
What? I'm busy.
161
00:05:21,113 --> 00:05:23,031
Winston's not here.
162
00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:26,243
Really?
163
00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:28,120
Uh-huh. Okay, I'll pass it on.
164
00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:29,371
Okay, you too.
165
00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:31,790
My gentlemen, I'm glad you're home.
166
00:05:31,874 --> 00:05:32,875
I got your messages.
167
00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:37,254
All right, here you go.
168
00:05:38,172 --> 00:05:40,215
-Wow. Are these alphabetized?
-Yeah, you're welcome.
169
00:05:40,299 --> 00:05:42,217
I felt like a secretary.
It was pretty awesome.
170
00:05:42,301 --> 00:05:44,052
Some auto body shop called, Schmidt,
171
00:05:44,136 --> 00:05:45,679
apparently you're getting a spoiler?
172
00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:46,889
I'm not getting a...
173
00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:48,932
I just wanted a quote.
Yeah, I get a quote
174
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:50,475
just in case I do want
to actually buy one.
175
00:05:50,559 --> 00:05:52,561
And it's nice to have a price before
176
00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:55,772
you get emotionally invested.
It's called predicting desires.
177
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:58,358
What I wish I would have said
is when I first said it,
178
00:05:58,442 --> 00:05:59,818
"Spoiler alert."
179
00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:03,906
I wish it... When I...
I wish I would have said, um,
180
00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:05,741
"You're getting a spoiler,
181
00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:07,117
-"spoiler alert."
-I don't think that would have helped.
182
00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:09,119
I'm just getting a quote, okay?
It's really none of your business.
183
00:06:09,244 --> 00:06:10,829
Definitely noted. Thanks, my man.
For the...
184
00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:12,873
Winston, uh...
185
00:06:12,956 --> 00:06:14,249
who's this gal Judy?
186
00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:16,084
I've never heard of her.
She called twice.
187
00:06:16,168 --> 00:06:18,003
-Who is this woman?
-(CHUCKLES) She's nobody.
188
00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:20,464
Doesn't sound like nobody.
Where'd you guys meet?
189
00:06:20,756 --> 00:06:22,549
-At the driving range.
-The driving range?
190
00:06:22,633 --> 00:06:24,510
-But you don't golf.
-Uh, I like to watch?
191
00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:27,721
Winston, you go to the driving
range just to watch?
192
00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:29,431
-Yeah.
-Very strange, very strange.
193
00:06:29,515 --> 00:06:31,141
Let's get back to this Judy character,
194
00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:33,101
because I am interested.
195
00:06:33,185 --> 00:06:35,729
-You made love to her yet?
-I don't know.
196
00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:37,523
Leave me alone, dude. Honestly, stop.
197
00:06:37,606 --> 00:06:39,691
That's not even a big... I don't even
like her that much, all right?
198
00:06:39,775 --> 00:06:42,110
-Just, ugh. I'm probably gonna dump her.
-Do you want to talk about it?
199
00:06:42,194 --> 00:06:44,571
Just kidding. I'm messing with you.
200
00:06:44,655 --> 00:06:47,074
Are you guys having as much fun
as I'm having right now?
201
00:06:47,199 --> 00:06:50,369
This landline has really brought
us together in a great way.
202
00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:51,995
I miss this.
203
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:54,122
Hey, if I cooked up a whole chicken,
would you guys have some?
204
00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:58,502
Those look like two
hungry faces. (CHUCKLES)
205
00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:03,006
Wow. That was intrusive.
206
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:06,218
Winston, how do you not know
if you'd made love to someone?
207
00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:07,427
I'm mad at you, Jess.
208
00:07:07,511 --> 00:07:09,054
Why'd you put me on blast like that?
209
00:07:09,513 --> 00:07:12,307
Because you shouldn't be
sleeping with other teachers, Coach,
210
00:07:12,391 --> 00:07:13,433
let alone two.
211
00:07:13,517 --> 00:07:15,310
Who are you, Blanche from Golden Girls?
212
00:07:15,394 --> 00:07:17,187
Honestly, it took me a while to figure out
213
00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:19,231
who I was in this school,
but I finally did.
214
00:07:19,815 --> 00:07:21,400
-Who?
-I'm the guy who has sex with everyone.
215
00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:23,527
Why can't you be the guy
who loves recycling?
216
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,863
Everybody loves that guy.
This is a school.
217
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,739
It's a sexy place, Jess.
218
00:07:27,823 --> 00:07:30,117
Look at that CPR poster.
It's hot as crap.
219
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:31,326
What the...
220
00:07:31,410 --> 00:07:33,954
Why aren't they wearing shirts?
Are they drinking wine?
221
00:07:34,288 --> 00:07:35,372
COACH: Mmm...
JESS: That's it!
222
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,791
I'm gonna need to talk
to all these teachers.
223
00:07:37,875 --> 00:07:40,210
You're just jealous because
you're not gettin' any.
224
00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:41,461
-(GASPS)
-When's the last time
225
00:07:41,545 --> 00:07:42,546
someone gave you CPR?
226
00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:44,423
Well, I give it to myself
at least once a month...
227
00:07:44,506 --> 00:07:45,507
-Oh!
-...to refresh.
228
00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:48,051
I'm talking about real CPR!
229
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:50,137
-Oh.
-Look, you work in a school.
230
00:07:50,262 --> 00:07:52,306
You need to have boundaries.
231
00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:54,516
You have to be a professional.
232
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,185
-Ah, Miss Day.
-JESS: Oh.
233
00:07:56,268 --> 00:07:57,853
There's someone here
I'd like you to meet.
234
00:07:57,936 --> 00:07:59,021
-JESS: Oh!
-This is Ryan.
235
00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:01,023
He's gonna be taking over
the science class.
236
00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,150
Now, don't be alarmed,
237
00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:05,319
but his voice is gonna sound
kind of funny.
238
00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:07,279
It's because he's British.
239
00:08:07,905 --> 00:08:10,115
Say something to her.
240
00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:12,701
Hello. Pleased to meet you.
241
00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:15,120
Ah. Oh, charming. Hi.
242
00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:17,122
It's a... How do you do?
243
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,499
You must be, um... Mister...
244
00:08:23,629 --> 00:08:25,172
"Gos... Gosin-yure."
245
00:08:25,297 --> 00:08:26,465
It's pronounced "Goes-in-you."
246
00:08:26,924 --> 00:08:29,092
-Goes-in-who?
-It "goes in you," Jess.
247
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:31,887
Goes in me. Goes in... Jess. What?
248
00:08:32,054 --> 00:08:34,848
I'm sorry, I'm gonna make a
note of how to pronounce it.
249
00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:37,643
It's really nice
to meet you, Mr. Goes-in...
250
00:08:37,726 --> 00:08:38,936
Ryan.
251
00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:41,480
COACH: Hey, Jess, where you going?
252
00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:44,024
You forgot to tell him about boundaries!
253
00:08:44,608 --> 00:08:46,109
It's great having you here,
Mr. Goes-in-you.
254
00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:47,778
-Geauxinue. Yeah.
-Goes-in-you, Goes-in-you.
255
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:49,530
-No...
-Goes in all of us.
256
00:08:49,613 --> 00:08:51,490
-Yeah.
-Sooner or later.
257
00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:55,994
-(PHONE BUZZES)
-This is Schmidt.
258
00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:58,247
Hey, it's Nick. Let me get Winston.
259
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:01,834
Winnie the Bish, you on?
260
00:09:01,917 --> 00:09:03,252
What is happening right now?
261
00:09:03,335 --> 00:09:05,754
I'm just giving you guys
your midday update.
262
00:09:05,921 --> 00:09:07,673
Schmidt, dry-cleaner company called.
263
00:09:07,798 --> 00:09:09,800
-Your socks are ready.
-SCHMIDT: Oh, great.
264
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,177
Not quite sure why we need to be
on a conference call for this.
265
00:09:12,261 --> 00:09:14,221
Not quite sure why you need
to dry-clean your socks,
266
00:09:14,304 --> 00:09:16,807
you weirdo,
but we'll get back to that.
267
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:19,393
Winston, Judy called again.
268
00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:21,061
And so, I told her
you weren't feeling it.
269
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:23,939
(LAUGHS)
Now why would you do that?
270
00:09:24,106 --> 00:09:25,274
You said you were gonna dump her.
271
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:27,776
It was a very difficult
conversation for you.
272
00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:30,821
We all know how you are,
so I just handled it. You're welcome.
273
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,781
Hey, Nick, do I need to be on for this?
Can I get off?
274
00:09:32,865 --> 00:09:34,408
Great. You know what?
Now she's gonna do something crazy.
275
00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:37,452
You know, this is a very emotional woman
we're dealing with, all right?
276
00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:38,996
-That bitch a Leo!
-Can I go now?
277
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,539
You should have thought of that
before you dumped her.
278
00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:42,583
-I didn't! You did!
-Because that's what you wanted.
279
00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:44,126
I don't know what I want!
280
00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:45,878
Judy didn't know
what you wanted, either!
281
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,838
Oh, and Schmidt, the magazine called.
282
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,047
-Oh.
-And they need a picture.
283
00:09:49,131 --> 00:09:50,299
But don't worry. I handled it.
284
00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:51,800
What do you mean, you handled it?
285
00:09:51,884 --> 00:09:53,218
I know you have a lot on your plate,
286
00:09:53,302 --> 00:09:54,720
so don't worry...
287
00:09:54,803 --> 00:09:56,597
I sent them the most recent
picture I had.
288
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,348
-The most recent one?
-WINSTON: Did Judy sound...
289
00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:00,184
Winston, enough!
Nick, what, what do you mean by
290
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:01,852
"the most recent"? I don't...
I don't understand what that...
291
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,854
-The latest picture.
-It's the most accurate.
292
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,564
It's just good marketing. You know that.
293
00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:07,649
Check your e-mail. You'll be happy.
294
00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:09,234
Did you check it?
295
00:10:09,318 --> 00:10:10,527
Is it loaded?
296
00:10:12,154 --> 00:10:14,281
Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!
297
00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:15,949
And that's all I got. You guys good?
298
00:10:16,033 --> 00:10:17,618
(SCHMIDT SIGHS)
299
00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:19,077
Okay, I'll check back in five.
300
00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:21,830
What? Five... five what?
Nick? Five minutes?
301
00:10:21,914 --> 00:10:26,418
(IN SING-SONG VOICE)
I'm a very good secretary.
302
00:10:26,585 --> 00:10:28,921
-(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
-Hello.
303
00:10:29,004 --> 00:10:30,464
-Yeah.
-Hello.
304
00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:32,591
-Yeah...
-Hello.
305
00:10:32,758 --> 00:10:34,426
-Yo!
-Hello.
306
00:10:34,510 --> 00:10:36,887
-Yo...
-Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello.
307
00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:38,889
-Yo!
-What up? What up? What up?
308
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,057
-Winston!
-Hello.
309
00:10:40,432 --> 00:10:41,517
Winston I said "Yo."
310
00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:43,477
Wait. Who's this?
311
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,687
It's Schmidt! We got to do
something about Nick.
312
00:10:45,771 --> 00:10:48,607
We're here to address
the school policies
313
00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:50,609
on interfaculty relations.
314
00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:52,819
Some forms of touching, say,
315
00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:55,280
a... a friendly handshake,
316
00:10:55,364 --> 00:10:58,492
or a spirited pat,
are completely appropriate.
317
00:10:58,575 --> 00:11:01,411
What if you spill coffee on your pants,
and you're very burnt,
318
00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:03,872
and upon getting your pants
cut off by paramedics,
319
00:11:03,956 --> 00:11:04,998
you become aroused?
320
00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:06,667
I'm truly hoping that didn't happen.
321
00:11:06,792 --> 00:11:09,211
What if you're in a situation
where you either have to
322
00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:11,421
grab a teacher's crotch,
323
00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:14,007
or give narcotics to a student?
324
00:11:14,091 --> 00:11:15,634
-That's a great question, man.
-Thanks, friend.
325
00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:17,386
-Not a great question.
-And what if you...
326
00:11:17,469 --> 00:11:21,014
I'm done with you.
If you feel things getting sexual...
327
00:11:22,057 --> 00:11:24,643
just say, "Shut it down!"
328
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:29,106
Followed by a sweeping gesture
with your hands, like such.
329
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:31,733
Everyone do it with me.
Shut it down!
330
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:34,486
-No, thanks.
-It's kind of fun. Shut it down.
331
00:11:34,570 --> 00:11:36,697
Shut it... down.
332
00:11:36,822 --> 00:11:38,991
Thank... thank you, new guy.
333
00:11:41,702 --> 00:11:43,996
-Yes, Coach.
-See, I'm more of a visual learner.
334
00:11:44,079 --> 00:11:45,622
-(LAUGHING) Oh, yeah, you are.
-Do you think you could
335
00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:47,499
maybe demonstrate
that move in context?
336
00:11:47,583 --> 00:11:49,418
-Really, Coach?
-I think we'd all like that.
337
00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:51,545
-It's kind of like a... like a skit.
-JESS: What?
338
00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:53,755
-No idea.
-Visual learning.
339
00:11:53,839 --> 00:11:55,924
ALL: Visual learning. Visual learning.
340
00:11:56,008 --> 00:11:57,885
-Show us! Do it!
-ALL: Visual learning!
341
00:11:57,968 --> 00:11:59,344
Okay, Coach, do you want
to come up and help me?
342
00:11:59,428 --> 00:12:01,221
How about the new guy?
343
00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:03,348
British people love doing stuff, right?
344
00:12:06,643 --> 00:12:07,895
No, I don't think...
345
00:12:07,978 --> 00:12:09,813
-British guy... doing stuff!
-WOMAN: Yeah.
346
00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:11,565
British guy doing stuff!
347
00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:13,192
I'm telling you
they don't like to do things.
348
00:12:13,275 --> 00:12:16,361
-ALL: Doing stuff!
-The British are coming!
349
00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:18,697
-Okay, okay.
-Happy to help.
350
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:21,825
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
351
00:12:24,953 --> 00:12:28,749
Mr... "Guzinya" and I will now
act out a sexual scenario.
352
00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:30,209
It's "Goes-in-you."
353
00:12:30,292 --> 00:12:31,627
Yeah. I know.
354
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,258
-Okay, let's try it again.
-CECE: All right, all right.
355
00:12:38,342 --> 00:12:41,011
-(BEEPS)
-Hello. You've reached the loft.
356
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,138
-Oh, my God!
-What?
357
00:12:43,222 --> 00:12:45,015
-Too sexy!
-Sounds good to me.
358
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,558
Are you out of your mind?
I'm on fire right now.
359
00:12:46,642 --> 00:12:48,393
This is a home.
We're not selling lubricant.
360
00:12:48,477 --> 00:12:49,811
Why aren't one of you doing this?
361
00:12:49,895 --> 00:12:52,397
Because we couldn't decide which of us
to do it, and this way, it's fair.
362
00:12:52,481 --> 00:12:54,358
Put nothing on it. Flat as can be.
363
00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:56,026
All right, here we go.
Flat as can be.
364
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,737
-Just say the words.
-(BEEPS)
365
00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:00,531
(FLATLY) Hello.
You've reached the loft.
366
00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:01,865
Oh, my God!
367
00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:04,535
Will you not stop until
the whole world is aroused?
368
00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:06,161
-CECE: Okay.
-Hey.
369
00:13:06,245 --> 00:13:08,664
-There he is.
-Nick, my man, looking good.
370
00:13:08,747 --> 00:13:10,249
-New set of PJs?
-I know what you're doing.
371
00:13:10,332 --> 00:13:13,544
You're blowing hot air up
in between my butt cheeks.
372
00:13:13,627 --> 00:13:17,005
And I'm no idiot.
I know I was let go 'cause of
373
00:13:17,089 --> 00:13:19,842
the dang old machine.
Story as old as time.
374
00:13:20,092 --> 00:13:22,261
A new piece of technology comes around,
375
00:13:22,344 --> 00:13:24,096
and all the peasants freak out.
376
00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:26,932
But one prince knows what's going on,
377
00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:29,601
and he says,
"Don't trust the technology!"
378
00:13:29,685 --> 00:13:31,562
And all you peasants trust it,
379
00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:34,356
and then the machine becomes self-aware
380
00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:36,400
and destroys you all.
381
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:40,070
And then, I become the
loneliest prince of all,
382
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,530
laughing in my golden tower.
383
00:13:41,613 --> 00:13:43,740
-(LAUGHS)
-Isn't that a movie?
384
00:13:44,074 --> 00:13:46,159
-Maybe I stole that from War Games, yeah.
-Short Circuit.
385
00:13:46,243 --> 00:13:48,245
-No, it isn't.
-Man, you know what's a good movie?
386
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:49,329
Splash.
387
00:13:49,413 --> 00:13:50,873
-I don't know what is happening.
-(PHONE RINGING)
388
00:13:50,956 --> 00:13:52,666
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
389
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:54,042
-Let's see what she can do.
-(BEEPS)
390
00:13:54,126 --> 00:13:56,003
CECE: (FLATLY)
Hello. You've reached the loft.
391
00:13:56,086 --> 00:13:59,173
SCHMIDT: Oh, my God. Will you not stop
until the whole world is...
392
00:13:59,256 --> 00:14:00,382
(BEEPS)
393
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:01,884
WOMAN: Hey, this message is for Nick.
394
00:14:01,967 --> 00:14:04,845
You responded to my ad about
a custom secretary headset.
395
00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:07,222
-Please give me a call back.
-(BEEPS)
396
00:14:08,015 --> 00:14:10,142
How do they know my name?
It's a stinking old prank.
397
00:14:11,894 --> 00:14:13,312
I don't even care.
398
00:14:13,395 --> 00:14:15,564
I got a lot going on today, so...
399
00:14:15,647 --> 00:14:16,899
Are you just eating a bowl of jelly?
400
00:14:16,982 --> 00:14:19,067
-What does it look like?
-CECE: It looks like a bowl of jelly.
401
00:14:19,151 --> 00:14:20,694
It's a bowl of jelly, yeah.
402
00:14:20,986 --> 00:14:22,613
Okay, so say I'm in the library
403
00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:25,699
and I feel Mr. G.'s hands
on my shoulders.
404
00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:27,326
I'm not interested.
405
00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:28,493
So what do I do?
406
00:14:28,577 --> 00:14:31,038
I say, "Shut it down."
407
00:14:32,331 --> 00:14:33,540
Does that make things
more clear for you?
408
00:14:33,624 --> 00:14:35,501
I feel like it needs to be a little
more real, you know what I mean?
409
00:14:35,584 --> 00:14:38,337
I feel like if he were to touch her,
that would help, am I right?
410
00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:41,131
Am I crazy for thinking that?
No, right? Yeah. Just...
411
00:14:41,215 --> 00:14:43,926
It'll be more helpful if he were
to touch her. Just touch her, man.
412
00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:46,094
-I don't think so.
-Touch her. Touch her!
413
00:14:46,178 --> 00:14:47,763
-Get in there!
-Touch her.
414
00:14:47,846 --> 00:14:49,556
Okay, fine. Um...
415
00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:54,520
So I'm in the library and,
uh, Ryan approaches...
416
00:14:55,145 --> 00:14:57,231
Hello. You look tense.
417
00:14:57,523 --> 00:14:58,899
-(OOHING)
-With that accent.
418
00:14:59,024 --> 00:15:00,025
Oh!
419
00:15:00,150 --> 00:15:01,318
(EVERYONE MURMURING SENSUALLY)
420
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:02,653
JESS: Mmm...
421
00:15:02,945 --> 00:15:04,238
Sha, na, na.
422
00:15:04,321 --> 00:15:06,698
Mmm... Day-O.
423
00:15:08,617 --> 00:15:10,702
A little lower. Right in the wolf patch.
424
00:15:10,869 --> 00:15:12,162
-Huh?
-What?
425
00:15:12,287 --> 00:15:13,705
Should I shut it down?
426
00:15:13,789 --> 00:15:15,832
What? Yes. Yes!
427
00:15:15,916 --> 00:15:16,917
-Shut it down!
-(GROANS)
428
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,293
(ALL GASPING)
429
00:15:18,377 --> 00:15:20,629
-I touched your... I... That was...
-That's fine. It's... it's cool.
430
00:15:20,796 --> 00:15:22,881
-Nice to meet you, too.
-(LAUGHTER)
431
00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:25,384
That was an accident.
And when an accident happens,
432
00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:27,511
-shut it down.
-(CHEERING, LAUGHTER)
433
00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:30,055
I did it again.
434
00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:31,390
That's what I'm talking about!
435
00:15:34,393 --> 00:15:36,937
I think we need to fill out some forms.
436
00:15:39,648 --> 00:15:41,233
Why won't these
messages play, Winston?
437
00:15:41,358 --> 00:15:43,443
-The machine's on the fritz.
-Just don't tell Nick.
438
00:15:43,569 --> 00:15:46,238
The magazine was supposed to call today
and set up my interview.
439
00:15:46,321 --> 00:15:47,698
I'm as mad as a dad in traffic!
440
00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:49,700
You probably burnt it out.
I mean, you listened
441
00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:51,201
to Cece's message 100 times.
442
00:15:51,285 --> 00:15:52,870
I know. Then I touched my peen.
443
00:15:53,954 --> 00:15:55,706
(SCATTING CHEERILY)
444
00:15:55,789 --> 00:15:56,957
There he is.
445
00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:59,501
All right, Nick, hey,
uh, you were home today.
446
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,795
Anybody leave any messages about
my interview for tomorrow?
447
00:16:01,879 --> 00:16:03,463
I don't know.
Why don't you ask the machine?
448
00:16:03,547 --> 00:16:04,923
-Isn't that what you wanted?
-(CHUCKLES)
449
00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:06,091
Uh, the machine's not working.
450
00:16:06,175 --> 00:16:08,677
Isn't that funny?
I feel like I'm working perfectly.
451
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:12,639
I'm gonna go take this machine
back to 1993 and exchange it.
452
00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:16,351
Knock, knock.
453
00:16:16,685 --> 00:16:19,521
-Who's there?
-The magazine. They called.
454
00:16:19,605 --> 00:16:22,065
They left a message.
They want to do the interview today.
455
00:16:22,149 --> 00:16:23,150
Why didn't you say anything?
456
00:16:23,692 --> 00:16:25,277
That thing is super important to him.
457
00:16:25,527 --> 00:16:27,029
You know how much
this interview meant to him.
458
00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:28,155
Yeah, I know. I know. Yeah.
459
00:16:28,238 --> 00:16:30,490
First you break up with Judy
and now this?
460
00:16:30,574 --> 00:16:33,076
Why are you so obsessed
with answering the phone?
461
00:16:33,952 --> 00:16:35,579
Man. We're just peeling the onion
462
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:37,164
all the way to the middle, aren't we?
463
00:16:37,247 --> 00:16:38,248
What's going on?
464
00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:39,791
Just because I miss you guys.
465
00:16:40,542 --> 00:16:42,336
And I didn't know what was
going on with your lives
466
00:16:42,419 --> 00:16:45,672
and now I do, and it
made me feel connected to you.
467
00:16:46,757 --> 00:16:48,550
I'm not gonna lie to you, man,
that got me.
468
00:16:48,634 --> 00:16:50,886
(PHONE RINGS)
469
00:16:51,887 --> 00:16:52,930
Hello? This is Nick.
470
00:16:53,597 --> 00:16:55,933
No, I'm sorry. Schmidt isn't here.
471
00:16:57,768 --> 00:17:01,104
No, he didn't... Please...
Can you hold on one second?
472
00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:02,231
(QUIETLY) It's the magazine.
473
00:17:02,314 --> 00:17:04,107
-They want to cancel the interview.
-What?
474
00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:05,984
They want to do it right now
or not at all.
475
00:17:06,068 --> 00:17:08,654
Yeah, this is Nick again.
No, he did... He might...
476
00:17:08,737 --> 00:17:09,947
Hold on one second. I hear something.
477
00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:11,406
That might be him. Please hold.
478
00:17:11,490 --> 00:17:13,575
-(QUIETLY) You've got to talk to 'em.
-Why do I have to talk?
479
00:17:13,659 --> 00:17:15,452
Because even though you're the most
awkward person I've ever met,
480
00:17:15,536 --> 00:17:16,995
you're magic on the
phone and you know it.
481
00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:18,163
You know, I put those days
behind me...
482
00:17:18,247 --> 00:17:20,499
Schmidt's right here. Hold one sec.
483
00:17:20,582 --> 00:17:21,625
(QUIETLY) You have to do it.
484
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,168
For Schmidt.
485
00:17:24,753 --> 00:17:26,213
I need a soda, I need a straw
486
00:17:26,296 --> 00:17:28,340
and I need to get horizontal,
so get out of my way.
487
00:17:31,134 --> 00:17:32,636
(GRUNTS)
488
00:17:34,137 --> 00:17:35,973
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
489
00:17:36,473 --> 00:17:39,101
Yeah, this is Schmidt. What up?
490
00:17:42,020 --> 00:17:45,274
Mmm, let's see, the last book
I read. The last book I read.
491
00:17:45,357 --> 00:17:48,485
-Good question, good question.
-Uh, some biography with, uh, Carson Daly.
492
00:17:48,569 --> 00:17:49,778
-The one with the red cover.
-Oh.
493
00:17:50,821 --> 00:17:52,531
Yes, that Carson Daly joint.
494
00:17:52,614 --> 00:17:54,116
You know, I respect that dude.
495
00:17:54,199 --> 00:17:55,909
Yeah, he's just like me. He's always on.
496
00:17:55,993 --> 00:17:58,245
There's not a lot of good
white role models out there,
497
00:17:58,328 --> 00:18:00,414
and I say that as a white man.
498
00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:03,792
Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.
Yeah, you got it, Business, Man!
499
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:04,918
-Is that the magazine?
-Yes.
500
00:18:05,002 --> 00:18:06,128
What are you boobs do... What are you...
501
00:18:06,211 --> 00:18:07,713
-Stop, stop, stop. Stop.
-Winston, get off the phone.
502
00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:09,798
-Shh!
-Trust us.
503
00:18:09,882 --> 00:18:12,426
What does marketing mean to Schmidt?
504
00:18:13,135 --> 00:18:15,262
This was the spoiler.
What did it say? Uh...
505
00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:17,264
-Predicting desires.
-Predicting desires.
506
00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:20,642
Well, to me,
it's all about predicting desires
507
00:18:20,726 --> 00:18:24,313
and finding buyers, you feel me?
(CHUCKLES)
508
00:18:24,563 --> 00:18:25,647
He's really good on the phone.
509
00:18:25,731 --> 00:18:27,441
Did you know
that my name was an acronym?
510
00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:29,359
Uh-huh. Schmidt:
511
00:18:29,443 --> 00:18:30,861
Some Can Have Money,
512
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:33,197
I Desire Thoughtfulness.
513
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:35,032
(WINSTON LAUGHS)
514
00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:36,867
Schmidt don't quit!
515
00:18:37,951 --> 00:18:39,036
Hey, Coach.
516
00:18:39,328 --> 00:18:41,663
-Hey.
-I just came in here to say I'm sorry.
517
00:18:41,914 --> 00:18:45,459
Sometimes it's...
hard to control your feelings.
518
00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:47,711
Which I demonstrated by...
519
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:50,714
grabbing a man's "dujeels"
in front of the entire faculty.
520
00:18:51,465 --> 00:18:53,509
Well, I'm sorry for putting you
in a position
521
00:18:53,592 --> 00:18:55,886
to grab that man's "dujeels."
522
00:18:55,969 --> 00:18:58,096
I don't like saying "dujeels." It's weird.
523
00:18:58,180 --> 00:19:01,975
I call mine my Sam Jackson
'cause he's in everything.
524
00:19:02,059 --> 00:19:03,894
I just don't know
how to face Ryan again.
525
00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:06,021
I was so unprofessional.
526
00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:07,314
Jess, you're the vice principal,
527
00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:08,649
and you're a great vice principal.
528
00:19:09,233 --> 00:19:10,734
Doesn't mean you're not a human being.
529
00:19:11,026 --> 00:19:12,027
Thanks.
530
00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:14,905
Oh... and you'll be happy to know
531
00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:16,615
I've repealed the policy.
532
00:19:16,698 --> 00:19:18,784
-Oh.
-You have?
533
00:19:18,867 --> 00:19:20,953
That's frickin' awesome.
534
00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:24,498
-Ruth.
-Hi. It's hot under there.
535
00:19:24,623 --> 00:19:27,501
Happy to know
you two have patched things up.
536
00:19:27,584 --> 00:19:29,253
-Yeah, we have.
-Oh, they've been patched.
537
00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:31,421
-(BOTH LAUGHING)
-Two times.
538
00:19:31,547 --> 00:19:32,881
I see your hand moving, and I...
539
00:19:32,965 --> 00:19:34,800
wish you'd wait till I left the room.
540
00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:36,385
RUTH: My bad.
541
00:19:38,095 --> 00:19:39,638
Hey. (CHUCKLES)
542
00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:40,722
Hi.
543
00:19:40,931 --> 00:19:43,016
Hi. Sorry. Um, my hands are...
544
00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:45,227
staying behind my back, don't worry.
545
00:19:46,478 --> 00:19:47,521
I won't even look at it.
546
00:19:47,604 --> 00:19:50,148
I mean, I looked at it
just 'cause I said it, but I...
547
00:19:50,315 --> 00:19:53,527
-(CHUCKLES)
-Uh... hmm, yeah. I was gonna ask you...
548
00:19:53,610 --> 00:19:54,862
PRINCIPAL FOSTER: Vice Principal?
549
00:19:54,945 --> 00:19:56,113
A moment, please?
550
00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:57,197
-I'm so sorry.
-Don't be sorry.
551
00:19:57,281 --> 00:19:58,365
-Um, my boss.
-Good seeing you.
552
00:19:58,448 --> 00:20:00,576
-I'll, uh, see you around.
-I hope so.
553
00:20:02,452 --> 00:20:05,247
Principal Foster, I am so sorry.
I went overboard.
554
00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:08,166
-First off, it's "dog."
-Dog.
555
00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:09,918
Secondly, do not apologize.
556
00:20:10,002 --> 00:20:13,255
I have tried to corral
these animals myself.
557
00:20:13,338 --> 00:20:15,591
-It's impossible.
-Word.
558
00:20:15,674 --> 00:20:18,677
These teachers are straight-up ho's, dog.
559
00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:21,805
Sometimes you just got to let
people follow their urges.
560
00:20:24,766 --> 00:20:25,767
Yes.
561
00:20:25,851 --> 00:20:27,436
I completely agree.
562
00:20:27,519 --> 00:20:28,687
It's too bad we can't.
563
00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:29,855
We can't?
564
00:20:29,938 --> 00:20:33,108
Absolutely not.
We're administrators, B.
565
00:20:33,192 --> 00:20:35,027
This is a lawsuit waiting to happen.
566
00:20:35,277 --> 00:20:38,113
Two administrators? Perfectly fine.
567
00:20:38,197 --> 00:20:41,116
But, unfortunately,
as I've repeatedly told you,
568
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,035
I'm not attracted to you.
569
00:20:43,118 --> 00:20:45,329
-Right. You like Asians.
-So... Exactly.
570
00:20:45,495 --> 00:20:47,581
-So that's off the table.
-Yeah.
571
00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:49,499
So, do us both a favor...
572
00:20:50,167 --> 00:20:51,627
lock up that lobster.
573
00:20:55,339 --> 00:20:57,174
(SIGHS)
574
00:20:59,801 --> 00:21:01,094
SCHMIDT: I still can't believe it.
575
00:21:01,178 --> 00:21:02,429
-Look at that.
-"Bringing Nasty Back."
576
00:21:02,513 --> 00:21:04,097
NICK: "The bad boy of marketing."
577
00:21:04,181 --> 00:21:05,807
-That is cool.
-So great for my brand.
578
00:21:05,891 --> 00:21:08,143
I mean, I always knew I was
a bad boy, but now it's in print
579
00:21:08,227 --> 00:21:09,895
-and it's official.
-Don't call yourself a bad boy.
580
00:21:09,978 --> 00:21:11,730
-Think I'm a bad boy?
-You're not a bad boy.
581
00:21:12,397 --> 00:21:14,441
-(LEVON PLAYING)
-He was born a pauper
582
00:21:14,525 --> 00:21:16,109
-WOMAN: Winston!
-On a Christmas day...
583
00:21:16,443 --> 00:21:17,778
Damn it, Nick.
584
00:21:18,570 --> 00:21:19,738
WOMAN: Winston!
585
00:21:20,781 --> 00:21:22,491
Winston!
586
00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:26,036
Yep. It's Judy.
587
00:21:26,620 --> 00:21:28,664
Hey, it's Nick!
We talked on the phone!
588
00:21:29,122 --> 00:21:31,291
-'Sup?
-Thanks, Nick.
589
00:21:31,375 --> 00:21:34,920
And he shall be Levon
590
00:21:35,003 --> 00:21:37,422
And he shall be a good man
591
00:21:37,506 --> 00:21:38,715
JUDY: Winston!
44468
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof