All language subtitles for F Troop S01E04 10-05-1965- Corporal Agarns Farewell to the Troops_prob3

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,827 --> 00:00:05,472 ♪ The end of the Civil War Was near ♪ 2 00:00:05,496 --> 00:00:08,809 ♪ When quite accidentally ♪ 3 00:00:08,833 --> 00:00:11,095 ♪ A hero who sneezed Abruptly seized ♪ 4 00:00:11,119 --> 00:00:16,817 ♪ Retreat And reversed it to victory ♪ 5 00:00:16,841 --> 00:00:19,186 ♪ His Medal of Honor Pleased and thrilled ♪ 6 00:00:19,210 --> 00:00:22,272 ♪ His proud little Family group ♪ 7 00:00:22,296 --> 00:00:24,440 ♪ While pinning it on Some blood was spilled ♪ 8 00:00:24,464 --> 00:00:26,977 ♪ And so it was planned He'd command ♪ 9 00:00:27,001 --> 00:00:28,445 ♪ F Troop! ♪ 10 00:00:28,469 --> 00:00:31,114 ♪ Where Indian fights Are colorful sights ♪ 11 00:00:31,138 --> 00:00:33,450 ♪ And nobody takes a lickin' ♪ 12 00:00:33,474 --> 00:00:36,754 ♪ Where paleface and redskin ♪ 13 00:00:36,778 --> 00:00:39,423 ♪ Both turn chicken ♪ 14 00:00:39,447 --> 00:00:41,458 ♪ When drilling and fighting Get them down ♪ 15 00:00:41,482 --> 00:00:44,061 ♪ They know their morale Can't droop ♪ 16 00:00:44,085 --> 00:00:46,913 ♪ As long as they all Relax in town ♪ 17 00:00:46,937 --> 00:00:51,084 ♪ Before they resume With a bang and a boom ♪ 18 00:00:51,108 --> 00:00:52,590 ♪ F Troop! ♪ 19 00:01:36,204 --> 00:01:39,049 Five thousand dollars reward. 20 00:01:39,073 --> 00:01:41,351 Sure would be great for a young couple 21 00:01:41,375 --> 00:01:43,487 startin' out life together, wouldn't it, Wilton? 22 00:01:43,511 --> 00:01:45,121 Oh, yes. Yes, it would. 23 00:01:45,145 --> 00:01:46,990 Be a perfect wedding gift. 24 00:01:47,014 --> 00:01:50,860 Mm-hm. Why, do you know somebody who's getting married? 25 00:01:50,884 --> 00:01:53,363 Wilton, sometimes I could just... 26 00:01:53,387 --> 00:01:55,867 Postman said I should put this up here. 27 00:02:00,710 --> 00:02:02,188 I'll bring them in, Jane. 28 00:02:02,212 --> 00:02:03,790 I'm not just captain of Fort Courage. 29 00:02:03,814 --> 00:02:05,392 I'm responsible for this whole area. 30 00:02:05,416 --> 00:02:07,961 Think maybe I should come along and get 'em with you, Wilton? 31 00:02:07,985 --> 00:02:10,063 You know, I can shoot the eyelashes 32 00:02:10,087 --> 00:02:12,582 off a jackrabbit at 200 feet. 33 00:02:12,606 --> 00:02:14,672 Ooh, no. Capturing bandits, that's man's work. 34 00:02:16,911 --> 00:02:17,888 Uh-uh. Ah, ah. 35 00:02:17,912 --> 00:02:18,989 Just a moment. 36 00:02:19,013 --> 00:02:20,745 This is man's work too. 37 00:02:28,722 --> 00:02:30,355 Uh... Oh, yeah. 38 00:02:32,492 --> 00:02:33,625 Mm. 39 00:02:44,572 --> 00:02:46,783 I don't know what could be the matter with him, Doc. 40 00:02:46,807 --> 00:02:48,952 I offer him carrots and... And sugar... 41 00:02:48,976 --> 00:02:50,654 and candy and everything, but he just... 42 00:02:50,678 --> 00:02:52,221 Well, he doesn't have any appetite, 43 00:02:52,245 --> 00:02:53,289 doesn't have any pep. 44 00:02:53,313 --> 00:02:55,224 Ah. Well, let me see his feet. 45 00:02:55,248 --> 00:02:56,693 Oh. Lift up his foot there. 46 00:02:56,717 --> 00:02:57,894 All right. Come on, beauty. 47 00:02:57,918 --> 00:02:59,362 Let's see here. Show the doctor. 48 00:02:59,386 --> 00:03:01,898 That's a good girl. Yeah. Mm-hm. 49 00:03:01,922 --> 00:03:03,499 Now. Well? 50 00:03:03,523 --> 00:03:05,368 Now, let me... Let me see that stomach. 51 00:03:05,392 --> 00:03:06,792 Here we are. 52 00:03:08,796 --> 00:03:10,040 Hm. 53 00:03:10,064 --> 00:03:11,541 Well. 54 00:03:11,565 --> 00:03:13,710 See, try here now. 55 00:03:13,734 --> 00:03:15,912 See if his eye is clear. 56 00:03:15,936 --> 00:03:19,148 Ah-ha. Now, just a minute. 57 00:03:19,172 --> 00:03:20,416 Whoo, now. Take it easy, boy. 58 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:22,085 Yeah. He's sensitive around the ears. 59 00:03:22,109 --> 00:03:24,420 I know. I want to see if he's got any fever. 60 00:03:24,444 --> 00:03:26,322 Oh. It's all right, baby. 61 00:03:26,346 --> 00:03:28,291 All right, now. Open up his mouth. 62 00:03:28,315 --> 00:03:30,159 Oh. Here. 63 00:03:30,183 --> 00:03:31,327 Sure. Show him your teeth. 64 00:03:31,351 --> 00:03:33,429 Ah-ha. 65 00:03:33,453 --> 00:03:35,632 Yeah. Mm. 66 00:03:35,656 --> 00:03:38,534 Well, yeah. I see. Well... 67 00:03:38,558 --> 00:03:41,004 Listen, could it maybe be something he ate? 68 00:03:41,028 --> 00:03:44,074 I mean, I gave him the leftover stew last night. 69 00:03:44,098 --> 00:03:45,575 Well, I'll have to make some tests, 70 00:03:45,599 --> 00:03:47,728 and I'll give you my report tomorrow. Oh. 71 00:03:51,856 --> 00:03:52,899 Ooh. 72 00:03:52,923 --> 00:03:54,167 Corporal Agarn? 73 00:03:54,191 --> 00:03:55,535 Is that you, Captain Parmenter? 74 00:03:55,559 --> 00:03:56,636 Yes, I heard you were ill. 75 00:03:56,660 --> 00:03:57,837 I thought I'd come see you. 76 00:03:57,861 --> 00:03:59,122 What seems to be the trouble? 77 00:03:59,146 --> 00:04:01,057 I ate some of the leftovers 78 00:04:01,081 --> 00:04:03,059 from the beef stew last night. 79 00:04:03,083 --> 00:04:04,327 You should go see the doctor. 80 00:04:04,351 --> 00:04:06,562 Thank you, captain. Here, I'll help you up. 81 00:04:06,586 --> 00:04:10,667 Just... Just... Let me sit here, captain. 82 00:04:10,691 --> 00:04:12,802 Oh, but the doctor can help you. 83 00:04:12,826 --> 00:04:13,937 Nobody can help me. 84 00:04:13,961 --> 00:04:15,571 Oh, no, corporal. You're just going 85 00:04:15,595 --> 00:04:17,273 to have to pull yourself together here. 86 00:04:17,297 --> 00:04:19,676 Stand up, stand up. Atta... 87 00:04:19,700 --> 00:04:21,477 What, what? Where does it hurt you? 88 00:04:21,501 --> 00:04:22,912 My foot. My foot! 89 00:04:22,936 --> 00:04:24,047 Your foot? 90 00:04:24,071 --> 00:04:26,705 You're standing on my foot. 91 00:04:28,608 --> 00:04:30,586 Oh. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 92 00:04:30,610 --> 00:04:32,789 But the doctor will know just what's wrong with you. 93 00:04:32,813 --> 00:04:34,624 Here, come on. We'll go see him. 94 00:04:34,648 --> 00:04:36,359 Just wait'll you see him. 95 00:04:36,383 --> 00:04:38,028 I'm sorry, captain. I... 96 00:04:38,052 --> 00:04:40,752 I guess I'm just an old fuddy-duddy. 97 00:04:44,875 --> 00:04:46,719 Doctor? Oh, doctor. 98 00:04:46,743 --> 00:04:48,621 A horse doctor? 99 00:04:48,645 --> 00:04:50,723 He's the only medical man we have. 100 00:04:50,747 --> 00:04:51,992 Oh, hello, captain. 101 00:04:52,016 --> 00:04:54,060 Doctor, we have a sick soldier here. 102 00:04:54,084 --> 00:04:55,295 Yeah. Really? 103 00:04:55,319 --> 00:04:56,897 Well, what seems to be the trouble? 104 00:04:56,921 --> 00:04:59,166 Well, I have these pains, 105 00:04:59,190 --> 00:05:01,434 and I can't eat, no pep. 106 00:05:01,458 --> 00:05:02,903 Well, let me see your feet. 107 00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:04,671 Now, lift up your foot. 108 00:05:04,695 --> 00:05:06,461 Lift up your foot. 109 00:05:08,398 --> 00:05:09,943 Ah. Uh-huh. 110 00:05:09,967 --> 00:05:12,712 All right, come on over here now. 111 00:05:12,736 --> 00:05:17,439 Now... Let me see that stomach. 112 00:05:17,808 --> 00:05:19,119 Hm. 113 00:05:19,143 --> 00:05:21,020 Hm. 114 00:05:21,044 --> 00:05:23,289 Ah. Well, now. 115 00:05:23,313 --> 00:05:26,692 Let's, uh... Let's see if the eye is clear. 116 00:05:26,716 --> 00:05:28,060 Ah-ha. Ah. 117 00:05:28,084 --> 00:05:29,762 Let me see if you have any fever. 118 00:05:29,786 --> 00:05:31,831 Whoa. 119 00:05:31,855 --> 00:05:34,367 Very sensitive around my ears. 120 00:05:34,391 --> 00:05:36,836 All right, now. Open up your mouth. 121 00:05:36,860 --> 00:05:38,393 Open up your mouth! 122 00:05:39,563 --> 00:05:40,607 Oh. 123 00:05:40,631 --> 00:05:42,797 Yeah, ooh. I see. 124 00:05:47,388 --> 00:05:48,965 Ah, well. Now. 125 00:05:48,989 --> 00:05:50,700 I'll h... I'll have to make a few tests, 126 00:05:50,724 --> 00:05:52,168 and I'll let you know tomorrow. 127 00:05:52,192 --> 00:05:53,336 Go take a rest, corporal. 128 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:55,105 Okay. I'll help him back to the barracks. 129 00:05:55,129 --> 00:05:57,040 Yeah. Thank you, doctor. Goodbye. 130 00:06:02,303 --> 00:06:04,603 Oh, corporal. 131 00:06:09,443 --> 00:06:11,288 Don't help anymore, captain. 132 00:06:11,312 --> 00:06:13,745 You've done enough for me already. 133 00:06:18,569 --> 00:06:20,813 I have these pains in my stomach, 134 00:06:20,837 --> 00:06:22,182 and I... I get dizzy. 135 00:06:22,206 --> 00:06:23,216 Dizzy? Yeah. 136 00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:25,718 Me best medicine man in all West. 137 00:06:25,742 --> 00:06:27,254 Soon you feel much better. 138 00:06:27,278 --> 00:06:28,288 Think so? 139 00:06:28,312 --> 00:06:30,079 Mm. Come, see chart. 140 00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:36,863 Heap big picture of tum-tum. 141 00:06:36,887 --> 00:06:40,267 You, oh, bad, bad, bad. 142 00:06:40,291 --> 00:06:43,470 Tum-tum all topsy-turvy. 143 00:06:43,494 --> 00:06:45,072 Can you give me something for it? 144 00:06:45,096 --> 00:06:47,807 Step into office. 145 00:06:47,831 --> 00:06:49,242 Sit down. 146 00:06:49,266 --> 00:06:51,178 Easy, easy, easy. Oh. 147 00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:54,981 Me do medicine dance to great spirit. 148 00:06:55,005 --> 00:06:58,840 Soon, you are yourself again. 149 00:07:01,245 --> 00:07:02,639 Kenosabe. 150 00:07:04,097 --> 00:07:07,444 Kenosabe. 151 00:07:07,468 --> 00:07:09,768 Keno, Keno. 152 00:07:14,358 --> 00:07:15,402 How your tummy now? 153 00:07:15,426 --> 00:07:18,170 Well, you're a wonderful dancer, doc. 154 00:07:18,194 --> 00:07:20,023 Don't you have some medicine I can take? 155 00:07:20,047 --> 00:07:21,780 That come. 156 00:07:24,484 --> 00:07:25,579 You take this. 157 00:07:25,603 --> 00:07:28,147 Take... that? 158 00:07:28,171 --> 00:07:30,016 Kiss of evening breeze, 159 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:32,452 blended with pollen of lovely flower 160 00:07:32,476 --> 00:07:35,055 and essence of fine herbs 161 00:07:35,079 --> 00:07:38,558 crossed with mystic spices of the Hekawis. 162 00:07:38,582 --> 00:07:39,793 Very secret. 163 00:07:39,817 --> 00:07:41,678 Yeah, but what is it? 164 00:07:41,702 --> 00:07:44,131 Marinated corn cob. 165 00:07:44,155 --> 00:07:46,266 Take pinch every three hours 166 00:07:46,290 --> 00:07:49,123 with glass water. 167 00:08:07,811 --> 00:08:09,755 Hot. Hot. 168 00:08:09,779 --> 00:08:12,431 Hot, hot. Hot! 169 00:08:18,221 --> 00:08:20,733 Well, what do you think, Doc? 170 00:08:20,757 --> 00:08:22,168 Sure like that horse. I... 171 00:08:22,192 --> 00:08:23,503 Well, I'm sorry, sergeant. 172 00:08:23,527 --> 00:08:25,255 I've completed my tests on the horse, 173 00:08:25,279 --> 00:08:26,522 and the news is not good. 174 00:08:26,546 --> 00:08:28,008 What's wrong with him? 175 00:08:28,032 --> 00:08:30,377 Go on. Give it to me straight, Doc. How bad is he? 176 00:08:30,401 --> 00:08:32,278 Well, I know how close you are to him, 177 00:08:32,302 --> 00:08:33,546 and I hate to tell you this. 178 00:08:33,570 --> 00:08:34,580 He's a goner. 179 00:08:36,006 --> 00:08:37,851 How long you reckon he can last? 180 00:08:37,875 --> 00:08:40,125 Oh, could go any minute. 181 00:08:42,546 --> 00:08:47,194 Well, I hate to suggest this, but... 182 00:08:47,218 --> 00:08:48,795 What do you think? Maybe it'd help 183 00:08:48,819 --> 00:08:50,497 if I put him out of his misery? 184 00:08:50,521 --> 00:08:52,566 Oh, no. I wouldn't do that. 185 00:08:52,590 --> 00:08:56,203 Let him enjoy his last few days. 186 00:08:56,227 --> 00:08:58,672 You... You'll know when the end's coming. 187 00:08:58,696 --> 00:09:00,040 His tongue'll turn black, 188 00:09:00,064 --> 00:09:03,643 and his teeth'll get loose. 189 00:09:03,667 --> 00:09:05,262 Well, thank you, Doc. 190 00:09:05,286 --> 00:09:07,264 I have to start thinking about a replacement. 191 00:09:07,288 --> 00:09:08,682 That'll take me a couple of days. 192 00:09:08,706 --> 00:09:11,051 Ah. I'm sorry. That's all right. 193 00:09:11,075 --> 00:09:13,791 At least now that I know, I can change my plans. 194 00:09:15,629 --> 00:09:17,107 Well, so long, Doc. 195 00:09:17,131 --> 00:09:18,463 So long. 196 00:09:25,939 --> 00:09:29,085 Well, hello, corporal. What's the matter with you? 197 00:09:29,109 --> 00:09:31,154 You look like you've been crying. 198 00:09:31,178 --> 00:09:32,855 I'll be all right. 199 00:09:32,879 --> 00:09:35,325 I'm a soldier. 200 00:09:35,349 --> 00:09:37,427 Give it to me straight, Doc. What is it? 201 00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:39,562 Nothing at all. Just relax and... 202 00:09:39,586 --> 00:09:42,098 And stop worrying. 203 00:09:42,122 --> 00:09:43,688 Stop worrying? 204 00:09:45,626 --> 00:09:47,103 Tell me the truth, Doc. 205 00:09:47,127 --> 00:09:49,005 I can take it. 206 00:09:49,029 --> 00:09:50,039 What is it? 207 00:09:50,063 --> 00:09:51,641 You're fine, just like I said. 208 00:09:51,665 --> 00:09:53,931 Just take it easy and enjoy yourself. 209 00:09:58,472 --> 00:10:00,305 "Enjoy yourself." 210 00:10:02,876 --> 00:10:06,122 "Enjoy yourself." 211 00:10:06,146 --> 00:10:08,791 A man in my condition? 212 00:10:08,815 --> 00:10:11,194 It's all in your mind, son. 213 00:10:11,218 --> 00:10:12,995 There's nothing wrong. 214 00:10:13,019 --> 00:10:14,464 Uh... Here. 215 00:10:14,488 --> 00:10:17,167 An apple a day keeps the doctor away. 216 00:10:21,895 --> 00:10:23,173 Eat an apple. 217 00:10:23,197 --> 00:10:26,842 With a black tongue and loose teeth. 218 00:10:26,866 --> 00:10:28,478 Isn't there anything in this world 219 00:10:28,502 --> 00:10:31,670 for a man with a topsy-turvy tum-tum? 220 00:10:41,898 --> 00:10:43,710 Oh. Thank you, Duffy. 221 00:10:43,734 --> 00:10:45,078 Here. You can take care of him. 222 00:10:45,102 --> 00:10:46,312 Be glad to, captain. 223 00:10:46,336 --> 00:10:48,380 Oh, captain. I, uh... 224 00:10:48,404 --> 00:10:50,349 I'd like to speak to you about your man, Agarn. 225 00:10:50,373 --> 00:10:52,218 Corporal Agarn? Yeah, he's not well. 226 00:10:52,242 --> 00:10:54,353 Really? What is it? He's very nervous. 227 00:10:54,377 --> 00:10:56,956 There's nothing physically wrong with him, you understand. 228 00:10:56,980 --> 00:10:59,191 But, uh... you should handle him very carefully. 229 00:10:59,215 --> 00:11:01,560 He's liable to break down, just go all to pieces. 230 00:11:01,584 --> 00:11:03,429 He imagines he's ill. 231 00:11:03,453 --> 00:11:04,731 Well, uh... 232 00:11:04,755 --> 00:11:06,633 do you think I should give him a weekend pass? 233 00:11:06,657 --> 00:11:08,034 Mm. Might help. 234 00:11:08,058 --> 00:11:10,136 The best medicine you could give him is kindness. 235 00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:13,106 Just humor him along. 236 00:11:13,130 --> 00:11:15,374 Well, then, kindness is the word, doctor. 237 00:11:15,398 --> 00:11:17,810 Don't worry. I'll handle it. 238 00:11:20,904 --> 00:11:22,337 Oh, captain. 239 00:11:24,875 --> 00:11:26,152 That's an order, sergeant. 240 00:11:26,176 --> 00:11:28,287 I want you and everyone in the troop to treat Agarn 241 00:11:28,311 --> 00:11:30,590 with sympathy and understanding. Very well, sir. 242 00:11:30,614 --> 00:11:32,959 Make sure he has plenty of rest, warm milk, fresh fruit. 243 00:11:32,983 --> 00:11:34,894 And be sure he takes his nap in the afternoon. 244 00:11:34,918 --> 00:11:36,095 Yes, sir. 245 00:11:36,119 --> 00:11:38,186 No matter what he says, you go along with it. 246 00:11:42,626 --> 00:11:45,805 The key to being a successful officer 247 00:11:45,829 --> 00:11:48,007 is control in every situation. 248 00:11:48,031 --> 00:11:51,766 Your successful officer is always in complete control. 249 00:11:52,268 --> 00:11:53,568 Sir. 250 00:12:11,454 --> 00:12:14,333 Hey, Agarn. Got a surprise for you. 251 00:12:14,357 --> 00:12:17,269 Farewell gift? Is that it, sarge? 252 00:12:17,293 --> 00:12:20,105 Well, no. It's some fresh fruit and warm milk. 253 00:12:20,129 --> 00:12:22,174 Yeah. Whoop, whoa. Wait, wait. 254 00:12:22,198 --> 00:12:23,643 Here, why don't you have this 255 00:12:23,667 --> 00:12:25,611 and then... And then take a nap? 256 00:12:25,635 --> 00:12:27,713 That's nice of you, sarge. 257 00:12:27,737 --> 00:12:30,583 You and me, we've had some good times together. 258 00:12:30,607 --> 00:12:33,586 Yeah, we've made some pretty sharp business deals. 259 00:12:33,610 --> 00:12:35,338 Remember the time we emptied 260 00:12:35,362 --> 00:12:38,074 the kerosene lamps out of the inspector general's office? 261 00:12:38,098 --> 00:12:40,276 Yeah. Took 'em into town and sold it as hair tonic. 262 00:12:40,300 --> 00:12:41,410 You couldn't light a match 263 00:12:41,434 --> 00:12:42,979 near a bald-headed man for a month. 264 00:12:43,003 --> 00:12:44,547 Listen, you just take it easy. 265 00:12:44,571 --> 00:12:45,915 I'm due over at the 'Kawi camp. 266 00:12:45,939 --> 00:12:48,584 I got a new idea. See, we'll supply the soap, 267 00:12:48,608 --> 00:12:50,253 and then we'll sell a combination 268 00:12:50,277 --> 00:12:51,654 peace pipe and bubble pipe. 269 00:12:51,678 --> 00:12:52,822 You can keep my share. 270 00:12:52,846 --> 00:12:54,090 What are you talkin' about? 271 00:12:54,114 --> 00:12:56,192 You and I are partners to the bitter end. 272 00:12:56,216 --> 00:12:57,360 "The bitter end"? 273 00:12:57,384 --> 00:12:58,664 So long, Agarn. 274 00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:02,598 So long, sarge. 275 00:13:02,622 --> 00:13:04,355 So long, F Troop. 276 00:13:12,231 --> 00:13:13,609 It's light blue. 277 00:13:13,633 --> 00:13:15,511 Pretty soon it'll be dark blue. 278 00:13:15,535 --> 00:13:16,746 Then black blue. 279 00:13:16,770 --> 00:13:20,683 And then black black. And that's it. 280 00:13:20,707 --> 00:13:23,318 Then you get the parade, the muffled drums, 281 00:13:23,342 --> 00:13:25,588 and 21-gun salute. 282 00:13:25,612 --> 00:13:28,123 What makes you think you'd get 21 guns? 283 00:13:28,147 --> 00:13:29,425 That's for a president. 284 00:13:29,449 --> 00:13:30,760 Eighteen. 285 00:13:30,784 --> 00:13:32,428 Nah, that's a general. 286 00:13:32,452 --> 00:13:33,963 What does a corporal get? 287 00:13:33,987 --> 00:13:35,831 A three-gun salute. 288 00:13:35,855 --> 00:13:37,232 Maybe. 289 00:13:37,256 --> 00:13:39,602 And a crooked corporal? He'd get... 290 00:13:41,327 --> 00:13:44,306 What a way to go, me, a crooked corporal. 291 00:13:44,330 --> 00:13:47,109 The least I can do is square myself with the world. 292 00:13:47,133 --> 00:13:49,211 For the sake of Mom, Dad, and... 293 00:13:49,235 --> 00:13:51,402 Aunt Charley. 294 00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:05,216 Dear inspector... general: 295 00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:15,120 I want to... make a full... confession. 296 00:14:23,886 --> 00:14:26,198 Hi there, corporal. Oh. Hello, Miss Jane. 297 00:14:26,222 --> 00:14:28,067 What's the matter? You look kind of sad. 298 00:14:28,091 --> 00:14:29,168 Real down in the mouth, 299 00:14:29,192 --> 00:14:30,769 like going to a funeral or something. 300 00:14:30,793 --> 00:14:31,926 Bye. 301 00:14:34,164 --> 00:14:35,496 Bye. 302 00:14:48,211 --> 00:14:50,189 Cleaning your rifle, sarge? 303 00:14:50,213 --> 00:14:51,213 Yeah. 304 00:14:58,521 --> 00:15:01,033 You don't fool me. 305 00:15:01,057 --> 00:15:02,134 What? 306 00:15:02,158 --> 00:15:05,304 Go ahead, shoot! Give it to me, right here. 307 00:15:05,328 --> 00:15:07,239 What are you talkin' about? 308 00:15:07,263 --> 00:15:09,375 I heard you talkin' to the doctor about me. 309 00:15:09,399 --> 00:15:11,427 You said maybe you should put me out of my misery. 310 00:15:11,451 --> 00:15:14,997 I can't stand the suspense. Go ahead, shoot! 311 00:15:15,021 --> 00:15:16,265 Talkin' about you? 312 00:15:16,289 --> 00:15:18,234 I know I'm a goner. 313 00:15:18,258 --> 00:15:20,236 I can't stand the suspense. Shoot. 314 00:15:20,260 --> 00:15:21,870 I don't even need a blindfold. 315 00:15:21,894 --> 00:15:23,505 Just a condemned man's dinner. 316 00:15:23,529 --> 00:15:25,474 Chicken, peas... watermelon. 317 00:15:25,498 --> 00:15:28,494 Wait, hold the peas. You got candied yams? 318 00:15:28,518 --> 00:15:30,262 Candied yams? 319 00:15:30,286 --> 00:15:32,164 Sure. You wouldn't refuse a man 320 00:15:32,188 --> 00:15:33,699 his last request. 321 00:15:33,723 --> 00:15:35,868 What are you talking about? Last request? 322 00:15:35,892 --> 00:15:37,936 You got nothing to worry about. 323 00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:39,505 I didn't mention you in the letter. 324 00:15:39,529 --> 00:15:41,140 Letter? What letter? 325 00:15:41,164 --> 00:15:42,975 I had to do it. 326 00:15:42,999 --> 00:15:45,344 I gotta leave this earth with a clear conscience. 327 00:15:45,368 --> 00:15:47,130 I told him about all the deals we made, 328 00:15:47,154 --> 00:15:49,098 and the... The swindles. 329 00:15:49,122 --> 00:15:51,967 But I took the blame, sarge. I didn't mention you. 330 00:15:51,991 --> 00:15:54,770 I may have black tongue and loose teeth, 331 00:15:54,794 --> 00:15:56,839 but I got a clear conscience. 332 00:15:56,863 --> 00:16:00,009 Black tongue. Loose teeth. 333 00:16:00,033 --> 00:16:02,513 That was my horse we were talking about. 334 00:16:03,402 --> 00:16:05,380 Your horse? What do you mean, your horse? 335 00:16:05,404 --> 00:16:06,849 The vet said my horse is very sick. 336 00:16:06,873 --> 00:16:09,085 He hasn't got a chance. Now, what about the letter? 337 00:16:09,109 --> 00:16:11,253 What about me? You're fine. 338 00:16:11,277 --> 00:16:13,222 There's nothing wrong with you. You're fine. 339 00:16:13,246 --> 00:16:14,490 But what about the letter? 340 00:16:14,514 --> 00:16:15,958 I'm fine? 341 00:16:18,851 --> 00:16:22,064 I'm fine. Oh, that's marvelous for me! 342 00:16:22,088 --> 00:16:23,466 Very bad for the horse. 343 00:16:23,490 --> 00:16:24,800 Never mind the horse. 344 00:16:24,824 --> 00:16:26,002 What about the letter? 345 00:16:26,026 --> 00:16:27,636 Oh, the letter's all right. 346 00:16:27,660 --> 00:16:30,061 I just mailed it to the inspector general. 347 00:16:34,234 --> 00:16:37,513 The inspector general? 348 00:16:43,609 --> 00:16:45,354 I'll keep an eye out. You see if you can get 349 00:16:45,378 --> 00:16:46,877 the letter out of the bag. 350 00:17:03,296 --> 00:17:04,440 Sarge, look at that. 351 00:17:04,464 --> 00:17:07,009 Hey, that's my new possum trap. 352 00:17:07,033 --> 00:17:08,845 Just ordered it from Carson City. 353 00:17:08,869 --> 00:17:09,879 Beautiful, isn't it? 354 00:17:09,903 --> 00:17:11,180 It hurts, but it's beautiful. 355 00:17:11,204 --> 00:17:12,582 Agarn just put a letter in there, 356 00:17:12,606 --> 00:17:13,983 and we forgot to put a stamp on it. 357 00:17:14,007 --> 00:17:15,818 Oh. Well, this here's the incoming mail. 358 00:17:15,842 --> 00:17:17,387 Oh? 359 00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:18,988 Outgoing mail just left. 360 00:17:19,012 --> 00:17:20,122 Lucky for you, 361 00:17:20,146 --> 00:17:21,924 they took your letter without a stamp. 362 00:17:21,948 --> 00:17:22,925 Ah. 363 00:17:22,949 --> 00:17:25,227 Yeah. Lucky. 364 00:17:25,251 --> 00:17:26,696 I wish I was dead. 365 00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:28,564 Are you sure there's nothing wrong with me? 366 00:17:28,588 --> 00:17:30,533 No, but there will be if the inspector general 367 00:17:30,557 --> 00:17:32,001 ever gets ahold of that letter. 368 00:17:32,025 --> 00:17:34,585 Yeah. We'll be on that poster. 369 00:17:36,246 --> 00:17:37,623 That's it. 370 00:17:37,647 --> 00:17:39,959 What's it? What's what? What's? Who? What? 371 00:17:39,983 --> 00:17:41,461 We'll become the Colton Brothers. 372 00:17:41,485 --> 00:17:42,628 We'll stick up the mails. 373 00:17:42,652 --> 00:17:44,896 Stick up the U.S. mails? 374 00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:46,432 Just to get the letter back. 375 00:17:46,456 --> 00:17:49,402 We'll put on masks, and no one'll know it's us. 376 00:17:49,426 --> 00:17:50,970 They'll think it's the Colton Boys. 377 00:17:50,994 --> 00:17:52,772 Do you know the penalty 378 00:17:52,796 --> 00:17:55,441 for robbing the U.S. mail is 10 years? 379 00:17:55,465 --> 00:17:58,044 We're not robbing the mails. 380 00:17:58,068 --> 00:18:00,229 It's your own letter we're going to get back. 381 00:18:00,253 --> 00:18:03,855 I mean, what can they do to you? 382 00:18:21,191 --> 00:18:23,302 One month ago, the Colton Brothers 383 00:18:23,326 --> 00:18:25,837 held up the mail at Brimstone Canyon. 384 00:18:25,861 --> 00:18:28,307 Now, one week ago, the Colton Brothers 385 00:18:28,331 --> 00:18:31,009 held up the mail at Arroyo Gulch. 386 00:18:31,033 --> 00:18:33,111 Now, I figure they'll strike next 387 00:18:33,135 --> 00:18:35,314 right around Coldwater. 388 00:18:35,338 --> 00:18:36,770 Does that give you an idea? 389 00:18:38,575 --> 00:18:39,973 Yes, sir. I win. 390 00:18:42,679 --> 00:18:45,891 Look. Dobbs, all I was trying to do 391 00:18:45,915 --> 00:18:47,793 is point out that there is a pattern to what 392 00:18:47,817 --> 00:18:49,161 the Colton Brothers are doing. 393 00:18:49,185 --> 00:18:50,396 Now, all we have to do is head 394 00:18:50,420 --> 00:18:52,264 for Coldwater Canyon and grab them. 395 00:18:52,288 --> 00:18:53,799 So let's mount our horses and go. 396 00:18:53,823 --> 00:18:55,100 I'll get my bugle. 397 00:19:10,539 --> 00:19:11,839 Oh, Dobbs. 398 00:19:18,481 --> 00:19:21,660 What time do we pass through Coldwater Canyon? 399 00:19:21,684 --> 00:19:23,885 Are we on schedule? 400 00:19:25,554 --> 00:19:28,834 Oh, I've got to be in today at 9:00 in the morning. 401 00:19:28,858 --> 00:19:31,058 I'm gettin' married there tomorrow. 402 00:19:36,233 --> 00:19:39,545 That stagecoach will be here any minute, Bob. 403 00:19:39,569 --> 00:19:40,913 Let's put on the masks. 404 00:19:40,937 --> 00:19:42,948 Right, Bill. 405 00:19:42,972 --> 00:19:45,751 I'll get the mailbag, and I'll throw it to you. 406 00:19:45,775 --> 00:19:48,454 When I say, "Follow me," we ride away. 407 00:19:48,478 --> 00:19:49,488 I got it. Right. 408 00:19:51,564 --> 00:19:52,925 Now, listen, 409 00:19:52,949 --> 00:19:55,428 that stage is gonna be here any minute. Put your mask on. 410 00:19:55,452 --> 00:19:57,229 You remember, now. When I get the mail sack 411 00:19:57,253 --> 00:19:59,331 and throw it down to you, and holler, "Follow me," 412 00:19:59,355 --> 00:20:00,671 we ride out, all right? 413 00:20:02,876 --> 00:20:04,486 Ah. Hey. 414 00:20:06,112 --> 00:20:07,345 Hold that coach! 415 00:20:09,516 --> 00:20:10,982 Give me that mailbag. 416 00:20:12,852 --> 00:20:13,995 Here, Bob. 417 00:20:14,019 --> 00:20:15,031 I'm not Bob. 418 00:20:15,055 --> 00:20:16,265 Neither am I. 419 00:20:16,289 --> 00:20:18,034 Here, give me that. 420 00:20:18,058 --> 00:20:19,535 What are you doing over there, Bob? 421 00:20:19,559 --> 00:20:21,470 I'm not Bob. BOB: That's right, Bill. 422 00:20:21,494 --> 00:20:22,622 He's not Bob. I'm Bob. 423 00:20:22,646 --> 00:20:24,624 Who is he? I thought that was you. 424 00:20:24,648 --> 00:20:27,259 That's not me. I'm me! He's him. 425 00:20:27,283 --> 00:20:28,711 What's happening out there? 426 00:20:28,735 --> 00:20:30,334 Give that bag to Bob! 427 00:20:32,238 --> 00:20:34,216 I got these two guys covered. 428 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:35,217 Take off, Bob. 429 00:20:35,241 --> 00:20:37,186 Oh, don't you touch that bag. 430 00:20:37,210 --> 00:20:39,722 My weddin' invitations is in it! 431 00:20:39,746 --> 00:20:41,489 What are you, a wise guy? 432 00:20:41,513 --> 00:20:44,492 Why didn't you give that bag to Bob? 433 00:20:44,516 --> 00:20:45,794 Well, I thought he was Bob. 434 00:20:45,818 --> 00:20:47,813 Didn't you think he was Bob? 435 00:20:47,837 --> 00:20:50,282 I wish you'd make up your mind who's Bob 436 00:20:50,306 --> 00:20:52,618 so I can get out of here. I'm late already. 437 00:20:52,642 --> 00:20:54,954 And I may be late for my own honeymoon. 438 00:20:54,978 --> 00:20:57,323 Why don't you shut up, you old crow? 439 00:20:57,347 --> 00:21:00,659 I'm not an old crow. I'm an engaged woman! 440 00:21:00,683 --> 00:21:02,695 You fresh thing. 441 00:21:02,719 --> 00:21:05,131 Go on with your robbery so we can get outta here. 442 00:21:05,155 --> 00:21:07,633 I'm Captain Parmenter of the United States Army, 443 00:21:07,657 --> 00:21:09,268 and I've got you surrounded. 444 00:21:09,292 --> 00:21:10,569 I knew you'd be here, Coltons. 445 00:21:10,593 --> 00:21:11,737 All right, get going. 446 00:21:11,761 --> 00:21:13,038 Oh, no, not me! 447 00:21:13,062 --> 00:21:15,441 I don't want that, it's stolen property. 448 00:21:15,465 --> 00:21:17,843 Captain, how come there's four of 'em? 449 00:21:17,867 --> 00:21:19,311 They must be trying to confuse us. 450 00:21:19,335 --> 00:21:21,680 Well, we'll just have to arrest them all. 451 00:21:21,704 --> 00:21:23,649 That belongs to the United States Post Office. 452 00:21:23,673 --> 00:21:25,139 Give me that. 453 00:21:26,609 --> 00:21:29,988 Here. Dobbs, head for the fort. 454 00:21:30,012 --> 00:21:31,923 All right, you're all under arrest. 455 00:21:31,947 --> 00:21:33,159 Now, let's ride. 456 00:21:33,183 --> 00:21:34,410 Ha! Come on. 457 00:21:55,888 --> 00:21:58,166 Look at that. Wilton caught the Coltons. 458 00:21:58,190 --> 00:21:59,635 Yeah. 459 00:21:59,659 --> 00:22:01,036 All right, throw down your guns. 460 00:22:01,060 --> 00:22:02,855 Throw down your guns. Put up your hands. 461 00:22:02,879 --> 00:22:05,446 All right. Give me that mail bag, Dobbs. 462 00:22:07,016 --> 00:22:07,977 Sergeant O'Rourke. 463 00:22:08,001 --> 00:22:09,544 Corporal Agarn. 464 00:22:09,568 --> 00:22:11,847 Well, yes, sir. We went underground, sir. 465 00:22:11,871 --> 00:22:14,233 Hoping, like you, to capture the Coltons. 466 00:22:14,257 --> 00:22:15,801 You did? AGARN: But it was you, sir, 467 00:22:15,825 --> 00:22:17,469 who decoyed them into the fort. 468 00:22:17,493 --> 00:22:19,338 A brilliant move, sir. 469 00:22:19,362 --> 00:22:20,472 A stroke of genius. 470 00:22:20,496 --> 00:22:22,575 Oh, yes. Planting that fake pay envelope 471 00:22:22,599 --> 00:22:25,161 as a decoy, sir. Oh, clever. 472 00:22:25,185 --> 00:22:27,062 Clever. Very clever, sir. Yes. 473 00:22:27,086 --> 00:22:29,998 Oh, Wilton, you've captured the Coltons. 474 00:22:30,022 --> 00:22:31,400 You know, you're the bravest man 475 00:22:31,424 --> 00:22:32,690 in the whole world. 476 00:22:34,060 --> 00:22:35,638 Please... Please, I'm on duty. 477 00:22:35,662 --> 00:22:37,273 So, what was that about an envelope? 478 00:22:37,297 --> 00:22:39,175 Now, don't be modest, captain. 479 00:22:39,199 --> 00:22:40,442 Did I say "captain"? 480 00:22:40,466 --> 00:22:41,843 Oh, sir. I beg your pardon. 481 00:22:41,867 --> 00:22:43,445 At this rate, it will soon be general. 482 00:22:43,469 --> 00:22:45,814 Shall I take the prisoners to the guardhouse, general? 483 00:22:45,838 --> 00:22:48,217 "General." I keep making that mistake. 484 00:22:48,241 --> 00:22:51,019 Oh, no, no, no. I can handle this situation. 485 00:22:51,043 --> 00:22:52,188 Left! 486 00:22:52,212 --> 00:22:57,660 No, now. R-Right face! Forward, huh! 487 00:23:00,553 --> 00:23:02,665 I'll see you later, Janey. 488 00:23:02,689 --> 00:23:03,899 Wilton? 489 00:23:03,923 --> 00:23:05,556 Oh, Wilton. 490 00:23:31,267 --> 00:23:32,845 Poor horse. 491 00:23:32,869 --> 00:23:35,214 Couldn't sleep all night. 492 00:23:35,238 --> 00:23:37,049 I brought him an apple, but... 493 00:23:37,073 --> 00:23:38,851 I'm afraid it's too late. 494 00:23:38,875 --> 00:23:40,886 I know just how he feels. 495 00:23:40,910 --> 00:23:42,620 I got my pains too. 496 00:23:42,644 --> 00:23:44,189 Mm? Where? 497 00:23:44,213 --> 00:23:46,992 Well, they start up here in my head. 498 00:23:47,016 --> 00:23:50,162 Then they work themselves around here... 499 00:23:50,186 --> 00:23:52,264 What? And come out here. 500 00:23:52,288 --> 00:23:54,699 What? What's that stuff? 501 00:23:54,723 --> 00:23:56,502 This? 502 00:23:56,526 --> 00:23:59,337 This kiss of evening breeze, 503 00:23:59,361 --> 00:24:01,974 blended with pollen of beautiful flower 504 00:24:01,998 --> 00:24:03,809 and essence of fine herbs, 505 00:24:03,833 --> 00:24:06,678 crossed with mystic spices of the Hekawi. 506 00:24:06,702 --> 00:24:07,746 Very secret. 507 00:24:08,871 --> 00:24:10,649 Marinated corn cob. 508 00:24:10,673 --> 00:24:11,753 Marinated... 509 00:24:13,075 --> 00:24:14,603 Marinated corn cob. 510 00:24:27,924 --> 00:24:31,003 Agarn! You've cured him! 511 00:24:31,027 --> 00:24:32,027 Wh... 512 00:24:33,462 --> 00:24:35,140 Oh, sarge! 35457

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