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♪ The end of the
Civil War Was near ♪
2
00:00:05,496 --> 00:00:08,809
♪ When quite accidentally ♪
3
00:00:08,833 --> 00:00:11,095
♪ A hero who sneezed
Abruptly seized ♪
4
00:00:11,119 --> 00:00:16,817
♪ Retreat And
reversed it to victory ♪
5
00:00:16,841 --> 00:00:19,186
♪ His Medal of Honor
Pleased and thrilled ♪
6
00:00:19,210 --> 00:00:22,272
♪ His proud little
Family group ♪
7
00:00:22,296 --> 00:00:24,440
♪ While pinning it on
Some blood was spilled ♪
8
00:00:24,464 --> 00:00:26,977
♪ And so it was
planned He'd command ♪
9
00:00:27,001 --> 00:00:28,445
♪ F Troop! ♪
10
00:00:28,469 --> 00:00:31,114
♪ Where Indian fights
Are colorful sights ♪
11
00:00:31,138 --> 00:00:33,450
♪ And nobody takes a lickin' ♪
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00:00:33,474 --> 00:00:36,754
♪ Where paleface and redskin ♪
13
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♪ Both turn chicken ♪
14
00:00:39,447 --> 00:00:41,458
♪ When drilling and
fighting Get them down ♪
15
00:00:41,482 --> 00:00:44,061
♪ They know their
morale Can't droop ♪
16
00:00:44,085 --> 00:00:46,913
♪ As long as they
all Relax in town ♪
17
00:00:46,937 --> 00:00:51,084
♪ Before they resume
With a bang and a boom ♪
18
00:00:51,108 --> 00:00:52,590
♪ F Troop! ♪
19
00:01:36,204 --> 00:01:39,049
Five thousand dollars reward.
20
00:01:39,073 --> 00:01:41,351
Sure would be great
for a young couple
21
00:01:41,375 --> 00:01:43,487
startin' out life together,
wouldn't it, Wilton?
22
00:01:43,511 --> 00:01:45,121
Oh, yes. Yes, it would.
23
00:01:45,145 --> 00:01:46,990
Be a perfect wedding gift.
24
00:01:47,014 --> 00:01:50,860
Mm-hm. Why, do you know
somebody who's getting married?
25
00:01:50,884 --> 00:01:53,363
Wilton, sometimes
I could just...
26
00:01:53,387 --> 00:01:55,867
Postman said I
should put this up here.
27
00:02:00,710 --> 00:02:02,188
I'll bring them in, Jane.
28
00:02:02,212 --> 00:02:03,790
I'm not just captain
of Fort Courage.
29
00:02:03,814 --> 00:02:05,392
I'm responsible
for this whole area.
30
00:02:05,416 --> 00:02:07,961
Think maybe I should come
along and get 'em with you, Wilton?
31
00:02:07,985 --> 00:02:10,063
You know, I can
shoot the eyelashes
32
00:02:10,087 --> 00:02:12,582
off a jackrabbit at 200 feet.
33
00:02:12,606 --> 00:02:14,672
Ooh, no. Capturing
bandits, that's man's work.
34
00:02:16,911 --> 00:02:17,888
Uh-uh. Ah, ah.
35
00:02:17,912 --> 00:02:18,989
Just a moment.
36
00:02:19,013 --> 00:02:20,745
This is man's work too.
37
00:02:28,722 --> 00:02:30,355
Uh... Oh, yeah.
38
00:02:32,492 --> 00:02:33,625
Mm.
39
00:02:44,572 --> 00:02:46,783
I don't know what could
be the matter with him, Doc.
40
00:02:46,807 --> 00:02:48,952
I offer him carrots
and... And sugar...
41
00:02:48,976 --> 00:02:50,654
and candy and
everything, but he just...
42
00:02:50,678 --> 00:02:52,221
Well, he doesn't
have any appetite,
43
00:02:52,245 --> 00:02:53,289
doesn't have any pep.
44
00:02:53,313 --> 00:02:55,224
Ah. Well, let me see his feet.
45
00:02:55,248 --> 00:02:56,693
Oh. Lift up his foot there.
46
00:02:56,717 --> 00:02:57,894
All right. Come on, beauty.
47
00:02:57,918 --> 00:02:59,362
Let's see here. Show the doctor.
48
00:02:59,386 --> 00:03:01,898
That's a good girl. Yeah. Mm-hm.
49
00:03:01,922 --> 00:03:03,499
Now. Well?
50
00:03:03,523 --> 00:03:05,368
Now, let me... Let
me see that stomach.
51
00:03:05,392 --> 00:03:06,792
Here we are.
52
00:03:08,796 --> 00:03:10,040
Hm.
53
00:03:10,064 --> 00:03:11,541
Well.
54
00:03:11,565 --> 00:03:13,710
See, try here now.
55
00:03:13,734 --> 00:03:15,912
See if his eye is clear.
56
00:03:15,936 --> 00:03:19,148
Ah-ha. Now, just a minute.
57
00:03:19,172 --> 00:03:20,416
Whoo, now. Take it easy, boy.
58
00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:22,085
Yeah. He's sensitive
around the ears.
59
00:03:22,109 --> 00:03:24,420
I know. I want to see
if he's got any fever.
60
00:03:24,444 --> 00:03:26,322
Oh. It's all right, baby.
61
00:03:26,346 --> 00:03:28,291
All right, now.
Open up his mouth.
62
00:03:28,315 --> 00:03:30,159
Oh. Here.
63
00:03:30,183 --> 00:03:31,327
Sure. Show him your teeth.
64
00:03:31,351 --> 00:03:33,429
Ah-ha.
65
00:03:33,453 --> 00:03:35,632
Yeah. Mm.
66
00:03:35,656 --> 00:03:38,534
Well, yeah. I see. Well...
67
00:03:38,558 --> 00:03:41,004
Listen, could it maybe
be something he ate?
68
00:03:41,028 --> 00:03:44,074
I mean, I gave him the
leftover stew last night.
69
00:03:44,098 --> 00:03:45,575
Well, I'll have to
make some tests,
70
00:03:45,599 --> 00:03:47,728
and I'll give you my
report tomorrow. Oh.
71
00:03:51,856 --> 00:03:52,899
Ooh.
72
00:03:52,923 --> 00:03:54,167
Corporal Agarn?
73
00:03:54,191 --> 00:03:55,535
Is that you, Captain Parmenter?
74
00:03:55,559 --> 00:03:56,636
Yes, I heard you were ill.
75
00:03:56,660 --> 00:03:57,837
I thought I'd come see you.
76
00:03:57,861 --> 00:03:59,122
What seems to be the trouble?
77
00:03:59,146 --> 00:04:01,057
I ate some of the leftovers
78
00:04:01,081 --> 00:04:03,059
from the beef stew last night.
79
00:04:03,083 --> 00:04:04,327
You should go see the doctor.
80
00:04:04,351 --> 00:04:06,562
Thank you, captain.
Here, I'll help you up.
81
00:04:06,586 --> 00:04:10,667
Just... Just... Let
me sit here, captain.
82
00:04:10,691 --> 00:04:12,802
Oh, but the doctor can help you.
83
00:04:12,826 --> 00:04:13,937
Nobody can help me.
84
00:04:13,961 --> 00:04:15,571
Oh, no, corporal.
You're just going
85
00:04:15,595 --> 00:04:17,273
to have to pull
yourself together here.
86
00:04:17,297 --> 00:04:19,676
Stand up, stand up. Atta...
87
00:04:19,700 --> 00:04:21,477
What, what? Where
does it hurt you?
88
00:04:21,501 --> 00:04:22,912
My foot. My foot!
89
00:04:22,936 --> 00:04:24,047
Your foot?
90
00:04:24,071 --> 00:04:26,705
You're standing on my foot.
91
00:04:28,608 --> 00:04:30,586
Oh. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
92
00:04:30,610 --> 00:04:32,789
But the doctor will know
just what's wrong with you.
93
00:04:32,813 --> 00:04:34,624
Here, come on. We'll go see him.
94
00:04:34,648 --> 00:04:36,359
Just wait'll you see him.
95
00:04:36,383 --> 00:04:38,028
I'm sorry, captain. I...
96
00:04:38,052 --> 00:04:40,752
I guess I'm just
an old fuddy-duddy.
97
00:04:44,875 --> 00:04:46,719
Doctor? Oh, doctor.
98
00:04:46,743 --> 00:04:48,621
A horse doctor?
99
00:04:48,645 --> 00:04:50,723
He's the only
medical man we have.
100
00:04:50,747 --> 00:04:51,992
Oh, hello, captain.
101
00:04:52,016 --> 00:04:54,060
Doctor, we have
a sick soldier here.
102
00:04:54,084 --> 00:04:55,295
Yeah. Really?
103
00:04:55,319 --> 00:04:56,897
Well, what seems
to be the trouble?
104
00:04:56,921 --> 00:04:59,166
Well, I have these pains,
105
00:04:59,190 --> 00:05:01,434
and I can't eat, no pep.
106
00:05:01,458 --> 00:05:02,903
Well, let me see your feet.
107
00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:04,671
Now, lift up your foot.
108
00:05:04,695 --> 00:05:06,461
Lift up your foot.
109
00:05:08,398 --> 00:05:09,943
Ah. Uh-huh.
110
00:05:09,967 --> 00:05:12,712
All right, come
on over here now.
111
00:05:12,736 --> 00:05:17,439
Now... Let me see that stomach.
112
00:05:17,808 --> 00:05:19,119
Hm.
113
00:05:19,143 --> 00:05:21,020
Hm.
114
00:05:21,044 --> 00:05:23,289
Ah. Well, now.
115
00:05:23,313 --> 00:05:26,692
Let's, uh... Let's
see if the eye is clear.
116
00:05:26,716 --> 00:05:28,060
Ah-ha. Ah.
117
00:05:28,084 --> 00:05:29,762
Let me see if you
have any fever.
118
00:05:29,786 --> 00:05:31,831
Whoa.
119
00:05:31,855 --> 00:05:34,367
Very sensitive around my ears.
120
00:05:34,391 --> 00:05:36,836
All right, now.
Open up your mouth.
121
00:05:36,860 --> 00:05:38,393
Open up your mouth!
122
00:05:39,563 --> 00:05:40,607
Oh.
123
00:05:40,631 --> 00:05:42,797
Yeah, ooh. I see.
124
00:05:47,388 --> 00:05:48,965
Ah, well. Now.
125
00:05:48,989 --> 00:05:50,700
I'll h... I'll have to
make a few tests,
126
00:05:50,724 --> 00:05:52,168
and I'll let you know tomorrow.
127
00:05:52,192 --> 00:05:53,336
Go take a rest, corporal.
128
00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:55,105
Okay. I'll help him
back to the barracks.
129
00:05:55,129 --> 00:05:57,040
Yeah. Thank you,
doctor. Goodbye.
130
00:06:02,303 --> 00:06:04,603
Oh, corporal.
131
00:06:09,443 --> 00:06:11,288
Don't help anymore, captain.
132
00:06:11,312 --> 00:06:13,745
You've done enough
for me already.
133
00:06:18,569 --> 00:06:20,813
I have these pains
in my stomach,
134
00:06:20,837 --> 00:06:22,182
and I... I get dizzy.
135
00:06:22,206 --> 00:06:23,216
Dizzy? Yeah.
136
00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:25,718
Me best medicine
man in all West.
137
00:06:25,742 --> 00:06:27,254
Soon you feel much better.
138
00:06:27,278 --> 00:06:28,288
Think so?
139
00:06:28,312 --> 00:06:30,079
Mm. Come, see chart.
140
00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:36,863
Heap big picture of tum-tum.
141
00:06:36,887 --> 00:06:40,267
You, oh, bad, bad, bad.
142
00:06:40,291 --> 00:06:43,470
Tum-tum all topsy-turvy.
143
00:06:43,494 --> 00:06:45,072
Can you give me
something for it?
144
00:06:45,096 --> 00:06:47,807
Step into office.
145
00:06:47,831 --> 00:06:49,242
Sit down.
146
00:06:49,266 --> 00:06:51,178
Easy, easy, easy. Oh.
147
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:54,981
Me do medicine
dance to great spirit.
148
00:06:55,005 --> 00:06:58,840
Soon, you are yourself again.
149
00:07:01,245 --> 00:07:02,639
Kenosabe.
150
00:07:04,097 --> 00:07:07,444
Kenosabe.
151
00:07:07,468 --> 00:07:09,768
Keno, Keno.
152
00:07:14,358 --> 00:07:15,402
How your tummy now?
153
00:07:15,426 --> 00:07:18,170
Well, you're a
wonderful dancer, doc.
154
00:07:18,194 --> 00:07:20,023
Don't you have some
medicine I can take?
155
00:07:20,047 --> 00:07:21,780
That come.
156
00:07:24,484 --> 00:07:25,579
You take this.
157
00:07:25,603 --> 00:07:28,147
Take... that?
158
00:07:28,171 --> 00:07:30,016
Kiss of evening breeze,
159
00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:32,452
blended with pollen
of lovely flower
160
00:07:32,476 --> 00:07:35,055
and essence of fine herbs
161
00:07:35,079 --> 00:07:38,558
crossed with mystic
spices of the Hekawis.
162
00:07:38,582 --> 00:07:39,793
Very secret.
163
00:07:39,817 --> 00:07:41,678
Yeah, but what is it?
164
00:07:41,702 --> 00:07:44,131
Marinated corn cob.
165
00:07:44,155 --> 00:07:46,266
Take pinch every three hours
166
00:07:46,290 --> 00:07:49,123
with glass water.
167
00:08:07,811 --> 00:08:09,755
Hot. Hot.
168
00:08:09,779 --> 00:08:12,431
Hot, hot. Hot!
169
00:08:18,221 --> 00:08:20,733
Well, what do you think, Doc?
170
00:08:20,757 --> 00:08:22,168
Sure like that horse. I...
171
00:08:22,192 --> 00:08:23,503
Well, I'm sorry, sergeant.
172
00:08:23,527 --> 00:08:25,255
I've completed my
tests on the horse,
173
00:08:25,279 --> 00:08:26,522
and the news is not good.
174
00:08:26,546 --> 00:08:28,008
What's wrong with him?
175
00:08:28,032 --> 00:08:30,377
Go on. Give it to me
straight, Doc. How bad is he?
176
00:08:30,401 --> 00:08:32,278
Well, I know how
close you are to him,
177
00:08:32,302 --> 00:08:33,546
and I hate to tell you this.
178
00:08:33,570 --> 00:08:34,580
He's a goner.
179
00:08:36,006 --> 00:08:37,851
How long you reckon he can last?
180
00:08:37,875 --> 00:08:40,125
Oh, could go any minute.
181
00:08:42,546 --> 00:08:47,194
Well, I hate to
suggest this, but...
182
00:08:47,218 --> 00:08:48,795
What do you think?
Maybe it'd help
183
00:08:48,819 --> 00:08:50,497
if I put him out of his misery?
184
00:08:50,521 --> 00:08:52,566
Oh, no. I wouldn't do that.
185
00:08:52,590 --> 00:08:56,203
Let him enjoy his last few days.
186
00:08:56,227 --> 00:08:58,672
You... You'll know
when the end's coming.
187
00:08:58,696 --> 00:09:00,040
His tongue'll turn black,
188
00:09:00,064 --> 00:09:03,643
and his teeth'll get loose.
189
00:09:03,667 --> 00:09:05,262
Well, thank you, Doc.
190
00:09:05,286 --> 00:09:07,264
I have to start thinking
about a replacement.
191
00:09:07,288 --> 00:09:08,682
That'll take me
a couple of days.
192
00:09:08,706 --> 00:09:11,051
Ah. I'm sorry. That's all right.
193
00:09:11,075 --> 00:09:13,791
At least now that I know,
I can change my plans.
194
00:09:15,629 --> 00:09:17,107
Well, so long, Doc.
195
00:09:17,131 --> 00:09:18,463
So long.
196
00:09:25,939 --> 00:09:29,085
Well, hello, corporal.
What's the matter with you?
197
00:09:29,109 --> 00:09:31,154
You look like
you've been crying.
198
00:09:31,178 --> 00:09:32,855
I'll be all right.
199
00:09:32,879 --> 00:09:35,325
I'm a soldier.
200
00:09:35,349 --> 00:09:37,427
Give it to me straight,
Doc. What is it?
201
00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:39,562
Nothing at all.
Just relax and...
202
00:09:39,586 --> 00:09:42,098
And stop worrying.
203
00:09:42,122 --> 00:09:43,688
Stop worrying?
204
00:09:45,626 --> 00:09:47,103
Tell me the truth, Doc.
205
00:09:47,127 --> 00:09:49,005
I can take it.
206
00:09:49,029 --> 00:09:50,039
What is it?
207
00:09:50,063 --> 00:09:51,641
You're fine, just like I said.
208
00:09:51,665 --> 00:09:53,931
Just take it easy
and enjoy yourself.
209
00:09:58,472 --> 00:10:00,305
"Enjoy yourself."
210
00:10:02,876 --> 00:10:06,122
"Enjoy yourself."
211
00:10:06,146 --> 00:10:08,791
A man in my condition?
212
00:10:08,815 --> 00:10:11,194
It's all in your mind, son.
213
00:10:11,218 --> 00:10:12,995
There's nothing wrong.
214
00:10:13,019 --> 00:10:14,464
Uh... Here.
215
00:10:14,488 --> 00:10:17,167
An apple a day
keeps the doctor away.
216
00:10:21,895 --> 00:10:23,173
Eat an apple.
217
00:10:23,197 --> 00:10:26,842
With a black tongue
and loose teeth.
218
00:10:26,866 --> 00:10:28,478
Isn't there anything
in this world
219
00:10:28,502 --> 00:10:31,670
for a man with a
topsy-turvy tum-tum?
220
00:10:41,898 --> 00:10:43,710
Oh. Thank you, Duffy.
221
00:10:43,734 --> 00:10:45,078
Here. You can take care of him.
222
00:10:45,102 --> 00:10:46,312
Be glad to, captain.
223
00:10:46,336 --> 00:10:48,380
Oh, captain. I, uh...
224
00:10:48,404 --> 00:10:50,349
I'd like to speak to you
about your man, Agarn.
225
00:10:50,373 --> 00:10:52,218
Corporal Agarn?
Yeah, he's not well.
226
00:10:52,242 --> 00:10:54,353
Really? What is it?
He's very nervous.
227
00:10:54,377 --> 00:10:56,956
There's nothing physically
wrong with him, you understand.
228
00:10:56,980 --> 00:10:59,191
But, uh... you should
handle him very carefully.
229
00:10:59,215 --> 00:11:01,560
He's liable to break
down, just go all to pieces.
230
00:11:01,584 --> 00:11:03,429
He imagines he's ill.
231
00:11:03,453 --> 00:11:04,731
Well, uh...
232
00:11:04,755 --> 00:11:06,633
do you think I should
give him a weekend pass?
233
00:11:06,657 --> 00:11:08,034
Mm. Might help.
234
00:11:08,058 --> 00:11:10,136
The best medicine you
could give him is kindness.
235
00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:13,106
Just humor him along.
236
00:11:13,130 --> 00:11:15,374
Well, then, kindness
is the word, doctor.
237
00:11:15,398 --> 00:11:17,810
Don't worry. I'll handle it.
238
00:11:20,904 --> 00:11:22,337
Oh, captain.
239
00:11:24,875 --> 00:11:26,152
That's an order, sergeant.
240
00:11:26,176 --> 00:11:28,287
I want you and everyone
in the troop to treat Agarn
241
00:11:28,311 --> 00:11:30,590
with sympathy and
understanding. Very well, sir.
242
00:11:30,614 --> 00:11:32,959
Make sure he has plenty
of rest, warm milk, fresh fruit.
243
00:11:32,983 --> 00:11:34,894
And be sure he takes
his nap in the afternoon.
244
00:11:34,918 --> 00:11:36,095
Yes, sir.
245
00:11:36,119 --> 00:11:38,186
No matter what he
says, you go along with it.
246
00:11:42,626 --> 00:11:45,805
The key to being
a successful officer
247
00:11:45,829 --> 00:11:48,007
is control in every situation.
248
00:11:48,031 --> 00:11:51,766
Your successful officer is
always in complete control.
249
00:11:52,268 --> 00:11:53,568
Sir.
250
00:12:11,454 --> 00:12:14,333
Hey, Agarn. Got
a surprise for you.
251
00:12:14,357 --> 00:12:17,269
Farewell gift?
Is that it, sarge?
252
00:12:17,293 --> 00:12:20,105
Well, no. It's some
fresh fruit and warm milk.
253
00:12:20,129 --> 00:12:22,174
Yeah. Whoop, whoa. Wait, wait.
254
00:12:22,198 --> 00:12:23,643
Here, why don't you have this
255
00:12:23,667 --> 00:12:25,611
and then... And then take a nap?
256
00:12:25,635 --> 00:12:27,713
That's nice of you, sarge.
257
00:12:27,737 --> 00:12:30,583
You and me, we've had
some good times together.
258
00:12:30,607 --> 00:12:33,586
Yeah, we've made some
pretty sharp business deals.
259
00:12:33,610 --> 00:12:35,338
Remember the time we emptied
260
00:12:35,362 --> 00:12:38,074
the kerosene lamps out of
the inspector general's office?
261
00:12:38,098 --> 00:12:40,276
Yeah. Took 'em into town
and sold it as hair tonic.
262
00:12:40,300 --> 00:12:41,410
You couldn't light a match
263
00:12:41,434 --> 00:12:42,979
near a bald-headed
man for a month.
264
00:12:43,003 --> 00:12:44,547
Listen, you just take it easy.
265
00:12:44,571 --> 00:12:45,915
I'm due over at the 'Kawi camp.
266
00:12:45,939 --> 00:12:48,584
I got a new idea. See,
we'll supply the soap,
267
00:12:48,608 --> 00:12:50,253
and then we'll
sell a combination
268
00:12:50,277 --> 00:12:51,654
peace pipe and bubble pipe.
269
00:12:51,678 --> 00:12:52,822
You can keep my share.
270
00:12:52,846 --> 00:12:54,090
What are you talkin' about?
271
00:12:54,114 --> 00:12:56,192
You and I are partners
to the bitter end.
272
00:12:56,216 --> 00:12:57,360
"The bitter end"?
273
00:12:57,384 --> 00:12:58,664
So long, Agarn.
274
00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:02,598
So long, sarge.
275
00:13:02,622 --> 00:13:04,355
So long, F Troop.
276
00:13:12,231 --> 00:13:13,609
It's light blue.
277
00:13:13,633 --> 00:13:15,511
Pretty soon it'll be dark blue.
278
00:13:15,535 --> 00:13:16,746
Then black blue.
279
00:13:16,770 --> 00:13:20,683
And then black
black. And that's it.
280
00:13:20,707 --> 00:13:23,318
Then you get the
parade, the muffled drums,
281
00:13:23,342 --> 00:13:25,588
and 21-gun salute.
282
00:13:25,612 --> 00:13:28,123
What makes you think
you'd get 21 guns?
283
00:13:28,147 --> 00:13:29,425
That's for a president.
284
00:13:29,449 --> 00:13:30,760
Eighteen.
285
00:13:30,784 --> 00:13:32,428
Nah, that's a general.
286
00:13:32,452 --> 00:13:33,963
What does a corporal get?
287
00:13:33,987 --> 00:13:35,831
A three-gun salute.
288
00:13:35,855 --> 00:13:37,232
Maybe.
289
00:13:37,256 --> 00:13:39,602
And a crooked
corporal? He'd get...
290
00:13:41,327 --> 00:13:44,306
What a way to go,
me, a crooked corporal.
291
00:13:44,330 --> 00:13:47,109
The least I can do is
square myself with the world.
292
00:13:47,133 --> 00:13:49,211
For the sake of Mom, Dad, and...
293
00:13:49,235 --> 00:13:51,402
Aunt Charley.
294
00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:05,216
Dear inspector... general:
295
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:15,120
I want to... make
a full... confession.
296
00:14:23,886 --> 00:14:26,198
Hi there, corporal.
Oh. Hello, Miss Jane.
297
00:14:26,222 --> 00:14:28,067
What's the matter?
You look kind of sad.
298
00:14:28,091 --> 00:14:29,168
Real down in the mouth,
299
00:14:29,192 --> 00:14:30,769
like going to a
funeral or something.
300
00:14:30,793 --> 00:14:31,926
Bye.
301
00:14:34,164 --> 00:14:35,496
Bye.
302
00:14:48,211 --> 00:14:50,189
Cleaning your rifle, sarge?
303
00:14:50,213 --> 00:14:51,213
Yeah.
304
00:14:58,521 --> 00:15:01,033
You don't fool me.
305
00:15:01,057 --> 00:15:02,134
What?
306
00:15:02,158 --> 00:15:05,304
Go ahead, shoot!
Give it to me, right here.
307
00:15:05,328 --> 00:15:07,239
What are you talkin' about?
308
00:15:07,263 --> 00:15:09,375
I heard you talkin' to
the doctor about me.
309
00:15:09,399 --> 00:15:11,427
You said maybe you should
put me out of my misery.
310
00:15:11,451 --> 00:15:14,997
I can't stand the
suspense. Go ahead, shoot!
311
00:15:15,021 --> 00:15:16,265
Talkin' about you?
312
00:15:16,289 --> 00:15:18,234
I know I'm a goner.
313
00:15:18,258 --> 00:15:20,236
I can't stand the
suspense. Shoot.
314
00:15:20,260 --> 00:15:21,870
I don't even need a blindfold.
315
00:15:21,894 --> 00:15:23,505
Just a condemned man's dinner.
316
00:15:23,529 --> 00:15:25,474
Chicken, peas... watermelon.
317
00:15:25,498 --> 00:15:28,494
Wait, hold the peas.
You got candied yams?
318
00:15:28,518 --> 00:15:30,262
Candied yams?
319
00:15:30,286 --> 00:15:32,164
Sure. You wouldn't refuse a man
320
00:15:32,188 --> 00:15:33,699
his last request.
321
00:15:33,723 --> 00:15:35,868
What are you talking
about? Last request?
322
00:15:35,892 --> 00:15:37,936
You got nothing to worry about.
323
00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:39,505
I didn't mention
you in the letter.
324
00:15:39,529 --> 00:15:41,140
Letter? What letter?
325
00:15:41,164 --> 00:15:42,975
I had to do it.
326
00:15:42,999 --> 00:15:45,344
I gotta leave this earth
with a clear conscience.
327
00:15:45,368 --> 00:15:47,130
I told him about all
the deals we made,
328
00:15:47,154 --> 00:15:49,098
and the... The swindles.
329
00:15:49,122 --> 00:15:51,967
But I took the blame,
sarge. I didn't mention you.
330
00:15:51,991 --> 00:15:54,770
I may have black
tongue and loose teeth,
331
00:15:54,794 --> 00:15:56,839
but I got a clear conscience.
332
00:15:56,863 --> 00:16:00,009
Black tongue. Loose teeth.
333
00:16:00,033 --> 00:16:02,513
That was my horse
we were talking about.
334
00:16:03,402 --> 00:16:05,380
Your horse? What do
you mean, your horse?
335
00:16:05,404 --> 00:16:06,849
The vet said my
horse is very sick.
336
00:16:06,873 --> 00:16:09,085
He hasn't got a chance.
Now, what about the letter?
337
00:16:09,109 --> 00:16:11,253
What about me? You're fine.
338
00:16:11,277 --> 00:16:13,222
There's nothing wrong
with you. You're fine.
339
00:16:13,246 --> 00:16:14,490
But what about the letter?
340
00:16:14,514 --> 00:16:15,958
I'm fine?
341
00:16:18,851 --> 00:16:22,064
I'm fine. Oh, that's
marvelous for me!
342
00:16:22,088 --> 00:16:23,466
Very bad for the horse.
343
00:16:23,490 --> 00:16:24,800
Never mind the horse.
344
00:16:24,824 --> 00:16:26,002
What about the letter?
345
00:16:26,026 --> 00:16:27,636
Oh, the letter's all right.
346
00:16:27,660 --> 00:16:30,061
I just mailed it to
the inspector general.
347
00:16:34,234 --> 00:16:37,513
The inspector general?
348
00:16:43,609 --> 00:16:45,354
I'll keep an eye out.
You see if you can get
349
00:16:45,378 --> 00:16:46,877
the letter out of the bag.
350
00:17:03,296 --> 00:17:04,440
Sarge, look at that.
351
00:17:04,464 --> 00:17:07,009
Hey, that's my new possum trap.
352
00:17:07,033 --> 00:17:08,845
Just ordered it
from Carson City.
353
00:17:08,869 --> 00:17:09,879
Beautiful, isn't it?
354
00:17:09,903 --> 00:17:11,180
It hurts, but it's beautiful.
355
00:17:11,204 --> 00:17:12,582
Agarn just put
a letter in there,
356
00:17:12,606 --> 00:17:13,983
and we forgot to
put a stamp on it.
357
00:17:14,007 --> 00:17:15,818
Oh. Well, this here's
the incoming mail.
358
00:17:15,842 --> 00:17:17,387
Oh?
359
00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:18,988
Outgoing mail just left.
360
00:17:19,012 --> 00:17:20,122
Lucky for you,
361
00:17:20,146 --> 00:17:21,924
they took your letter
without a stamp.
362
00:17:21,948 --> 00:17:22,925
Ah.
363
00:17:22,949 --> 00:17:25,227
Yeah. Lucky.
364
00:17:25,251 --> 00:17:26,696
I wish I was dead.
365
00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:28,564
Are you sure there's
nothing wrong with me?
366
00:17:28,588 --> 00:17:30,533
No, but there will be
if the inspector general
367
00:17:30,557 --> 00:17:32,001
ever gets ahold of that letter.
368
00:17:32,025 --> 00:17:34,585
Yeah. We'll be on that poster.
369
00:17:36,246 --> 00:17:37,623
That's it.
370
00:17:37,647 --> 00:17:39,959
What's it? What's what?
What's? Who? What?
371
00:17:39,983 --> 00:17:41,461
We'll become the
Colton Brothers.
372
00:17:41,485 --> 00:17:42,628
We'll stick up the mails.
373
00:17:42,652 --> 00:17:44,896
Stick up the U.S. mails?
374
00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:46,432
Just to get the letter back.
375
00:17:46,456 --> 00:17:49,402
We'll put on masks,
and no one'll know it's us.
376
00:17:49,426 --> 00:17:50,970
They'll think it's
the Colton Boys.
377
00:17:50,994 --> 00:17:52,772
Do you know the penalty
378
00:17:52,796 --> 00:17:55,441
for robbing the U.S.
mail is 10 years?
379
00:17:55,465 --> 00:17:58,044
We're not robbing the mails.
380
00:17:58,068 --> 00:18:00,229
It's your own letter
we're going to get back.
381
00:18:00,253 --> 00:18:03,855
I mean, what can they do to you?
382
00:18:21,191 --> 00:18:23,302
One month ago,
the Colton Brothers
383
00:18:23,326 --> 00:18:25,837
held up the mail at
Brimstone Canyon.
384
00:18:25,861 --> 00:18:28,307
Now, one week ago,
the Colton Brothers
385
00:18:28,331 --> 00:18:31,009
held up the mail
at Arroyo Gulch.
386
00:18:31,033 --> 00:18:33,111
Now, I figure
they'll strike next
387
00:18:33,135 --> 00:18:35,314
right around Coldwater.
388
00:18:35,338 --> 00:18:36,770
Does that give you an idea?
389
00:18:38,575 --> 00:18:39,973
Yes, sir. I win.
390
00:18:42,679 --> 00:18:45,891
Look. Dobbs, all
I was trying to do
391
00:18:45,915 --> 00:18:47,793
is point out that there
is a pattern to what
392
00:18:47,817 --> 00:18:49,161
the Colton Brothers are doing.
393
00:18:49,185 --> 00:18:50,396
Now, all we have to do is head
394
00:18:50,420 --> 00:18:52,264
for Coldwater
Canyon and grab them.
395
00:18:52,288 --> 00:18:53,799
So let's mount
our horses and go.
396
00:18:53,823 --> 00:18:55,100
I'll get my bugle.
397
00:19:10,539 --> 00:19:11,839
Oh, Dobbs.
398
00:19:18,481 --> 00:19:21,660
What time do we pass
through Coldwater Canyon?
399
00:19:21,684 --> 00:19:23,885
Are we on schedule?
400
00:19:25,554 --> 00:19:28,834
Oh, I've got to be in today
at 9:00 in the morning.
401
00:19:28,858 --> 00:19:31,058
I'm gettin' married
there tomorrow.
402
00:19:36,233 --> 00:19:39,545
That stagecoach will
be here any minute, Bob.
403
00:19:39,569 --> 00:19:40,913
Let's put on the masks.
404
00:19:40,937 --> 00:19:42,948
Right, Bill.
405
00:19:42,972 --> 00:19:45,751
I'll get the mailbag,
and I'll throw it to you.
406
00:19:45,775 --> 00:19:48,454
When I say, "Follow
me," we ride away.
407
00:19:48,478 --> 00:19:49,488
I got it. Right.
408
00:19:51,564 --> 00:19:52,925
Now, listen,
409
00:19:52,949 --> 00:19:55,428
that stage is gonna be here
any minute. Put your mask on.
410
00:19:55,452 --> 00:19:57,229
You remember, now.
When I get the mail sack
411
00:19:57,253 --> 00:19:59,331
and throw it down to you,
and holler, "Follow me,"
412
00:19:59,355 --> 00:20:00,671
we ride out, all right?
413
00:20:02,876 --> 00:20:04,486
Ah. Hey.
414
00:20:06,112 --> 00:20:07,345
Hold that coach!
415
00:20:09,516 --> 00:20:10,982
Give me that mailbag.
416
00:20:12,852 --> 00:20:13,995
Here, Bob.
417
00:20:14,019 --> 00:20:15,031
I'm not Bob.
418
00:20:15,055 --> 00:20:16,265
Neither am I.
419
00:20:16,289 --> 00:20:18,034
Here, give me that.
420
00:20:18,058 --> 00:20:19,535
What are you doing
over there, Bob?
421
00:20:19,559 --> 00:20:21,470
I'm not Bob. BOB:
That's right, Bill.
422
00:20:21,494 --> 00:20:22,622
He's not Bob. I'm Bob.
423
00:20:22,646 --> 00:20:24,624
Who is he? I
thought that was you.
424
00:20:24,648 --> 00:20:27,259
That's not me. I'm me! He's him.
425
00:20:27,283 --> 00:20:28,711
What's happening out there?
426
00:20:28,735 --> 00:20:30,334
Give that bag to Bob!
427
00:20:32,238 --> 00:20:34,216
I got these two guys covered.
428
00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:35,217
Take off, Bob.
429
00:20:35,241 --> 00:20:37,186
Oh, don't you touch that bag.
430
00:20:37,210 --> 00:20:39,722
My weddin' invitations is in it!
431
00:20:39,746 --> 00:20:41,489
What are you, a wise guy?
432
00:20:41,513 --> 00:20:44,492
Why didn't you
give that bag to Bob?
433
00:20:44,516 --> 00:20:45,794
Well, I thought he was Bob.
434
00:20:45,818 --> 00:20:47,813
Didn't you think he was Bob?
435
00:20:47,837 --> 00:20:50,282
I wish you'd make up
your mind who's Bob
436
00:20:50,306 --> 00:20:52,618
so I can get out of
here. I'm late already.
437
00:20:52,642 --> 00:20:54,954
And I may be late for
my own honeymoon.
438
00:20:54,978 --> 00:20:57,323
Why don't you shut
up, you old crow?
439
00:20:57,347 --> 00:21:00,659
I'm not an old crow.
I'm an engaged woman!
440
00:21:00,683 --> 00:21:02,695
You fresh thing.
441
00:21:02,719 --> 00:21:05,131
Go on with your robbery
so we can get outta here.
442
00:21:05,155 --> 00:21:07,633
I'm Captain Parmenter
of the United States Army,
443
00:21:07,657 --> 00:21:09,268
and I've got you surrounded.
444
00:21:09,292 --> 00:21:10,569
I knew you'd be here, Coltons.
445
00:21:10,593 --> 00:21:11,737
All right, get going.
446
00:21:11,761 --> 00:21:13,038
Oh, no, not me!
447
00:21:13,062 --> 00:21:15,441
I don't want that,
it's stolen property.
448
00:21:15,465 --> 00:21:17,843
Captain, how come
there's four of 'em?
449
00:21:17,867 --> 00:21:19,311
They must be
trying to confuse us.
450
00:21:19,335 --> 00:21:21,680
Well, we'll just have
to arrest them all.
451
00:21:21,704 --> 00:21:23,649
That belongs to the
United States Post Office.
452
00:21:23,673 --> 00:21:25,139
Give me that.
453
00:21:26,609 --> 00:21:29,988
Here. Dobbs, head for the fort.
454
00:21:30,012 --> 00:21:31,923
All right, you're
all under arrest.
455
00:21:31,947 --> 00:21:33,159
Now, let's ride.
456
00:21:33,183 --> 00:21:34,410
Ha! Come on.
457
00:21:55,888 --> 00:21:58,166
Look at that. Wilton
caught the Coltons.
458
00:21:58,190 --> 00:21:59,635
Yeah.
459
00:21:59,659 --> 00:22:01,036
All right, throw down your guns.
460
00:22:01,060 --> 00:22:02,855
Throw down your
guns. Put up your hands.
461
00:22:02,879 --> 00:22:05,446
All right. Give me
that mail bag, Dobbs.
462
00:22:07,016 --> 00:22:07,977
Sergeant O'Rourke.
463
00:22:08,001 --> 00:22:09,544
Corporal Agarn.
464
00:22:09,568 --> 00:22:11,847
Well, yes, sir. We
went underground, sir.
465
00:22:11,871 --> 00:22:14,233
Hoping, like you, to
capture the Coltons.
466
00:22:14,257 --> 00:22:15,801
You did? AGARN:
But it was you, sir,
467
00:22:15,825 --> 00:22:17,469
who decoyed them into the fort.
468
00:22:17,493 --> 00:22:19,338
A brilliant move, sir.
469
00:22:19,362 --> 00:22:20,472
A stroke of genius.
470
00:22:20,496 --> 00:22:22,575
Oh, yes. Planting
that fake pay envelope
471
00:22:22,599 --> 00:22:25,161
as a decoy, sir. Oh, clever.
472
00:22:25,185 --> 00:22:27,062
Clever. Very clever, sir. Yes.
473
00:22:27,086 --> 00:22:29,998
Oh, Wilton, you've
captured the Coltons.
474
00:22:30,022 --> 00:22:31,400
You know, you're the bravest man
475
00:22:31,424 --> 00:22:32,690
in the whole world.
476
00:22:34,060 --> 00:22:35,638
Please... Please, I'm on duty.
477
00:22:35,662 --> 00:22:37,273
So, what was that
about an envelope?
478
00:22:37,297 --> 00:22:39,175
Now, don't be modest, captain.
479
00:22:39,199 --> 00:22:40,442
Did I say "captain"?
480
00:22:40,466 --> 00:22:41,843
Oh, sir. I beg your pardon.
481
00:22:41,867 --> 00:22:43,445
At this rate, it will
soon be general.
482
00:22:43,469 --> 00:22:45,814
Shall I take the prisoners
to the guardhouse, general?
483
00:22:45,838 --> 00:22:48,217
"General." I keep
making that mistake.
484
00:22:48,241 --> 00:22:51,019
Oh, no, no, no. I can
handle this situation.
485
00:22:51,043 --> 00:22:52,188
Left!
486
00:22:52,212 --> 00:22:57,660
No, now. R-Right
face! Forward, huh!
487
00:23:00,553 --> 00:23:02,665
I'll see you later, Janey.
488
00:23:02,689 --> 00:23:03,899
Wilton?
489
00:23:03,923 --> 00:23:05,556
Oh, Wilton.
490
00:23:31,267 --> 00:23:32,845
Poor horse.
491
00:23:32,869 --> 00:23:35,214
Couldn't sleep all night.
492
00:23:35,238 --> 00:23:37,049
I brought him an apple, but...
493
00:23:37,073 --> 00:23:38,851
I'm afraid it's too late.
494
00:23:38,875 --> 00:23:40,886
I know just how he feels.
495
00:23:40,910 --> 00:23:42,620
I got my pains too.
496
00:23:42,644 --> 00:23:44,189
Mm? Where?
497
00:23:44,213 --> 00:23:46,992
Well, they start up
here in my head.
498
00:23:47,016 --> 00:23:50,162
Then they work
themselves around here...
499
00:23:50,186 --> 00:23:52,264
What? And come out here.
500
00:23:52,288 --> 00:23:54,699
What? What's that stuff?
501
00:23:54,723 --> 00:23:56,502
This?
502
00:23:56,526 --> 00:23:59,337
This kiss of evening breeze,
503
00:23:59,361 --> 00:24:01,974
blended with pollen
of beautiful flower
504
00:24:01,998 --> 00:24:03,809
and essence of fine herbs,
505
00:24:03,833 --> 00:24:06,678
crossed with mystic
spices of the Hekawi.
506
00:24:06,702 --> 00:24:07,746
Very secret.
507
00:24:08,871 --> 00:24:10,649
Marinated corn cob.
508
00:24:10,673 --> 00:24:11,753
Marinated...
509
00:24:13,075 --> 00:24:14,603
Marinated corn cob.
510
00:24:27,924 --> 00:24:31,003
Agarn! You've cured him!
511
00:24:31,027 --> 00:24:32,027
Wh...
512
00:24:33,462 --> 00:24:35,140
Oh, sarge!
35457
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