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In the closing months of
the war between the states,
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00:00:05,287 --> 00:00:06,749
ultimate victory
has been reduced
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00:00:06,773 --> 00:00:08,317
to a question of supply.
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00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:10,770
Nowhere are shortages
felt more keenly
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00:00:10,794 --> 00:00:12,239
than in the headquarters tent
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00:00:12,263 --> 00:00:15,008
of a certain general
of the Union Armies.
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00:00:15,032 --> 00:00:16,877
Where's my laundry?
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I'll, uh, send Parmenter
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00:00:19,238 --> 00:00:20,666
for it immediately, sir.
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00:00:20,690 --> 00:00:23,036
Wilton Parmenter,
Quartermaster Corps,
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member of a proud
Philadelphia family
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00:00:24,895 --> 00:00:26,572
with great military traditions.
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He, too, has found
a place to serve:
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00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:32,002
private in charge
of officer's laundry.
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00:00:32,771 --> 00:00:34,599
And no starch!
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00:00:34,623 --> 00:00:36,635
Parmenter has come
through with the underwear
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00:00:36,659 --> 00:00:37,636
many times under fire.
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An awesome responsibility.
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00:00:38,878 --> 00:00:41,191
But this time,
fate takes a hand.
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00:00:41,215 --> 00:00:43,777
An excess of
pollen fills the air.
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00:00:43,801 --> 00:00:45,663
Ke-char!
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00:00:45,687 --> 00:00:48,032
You heard him, men! Charge!
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00:00:49,625 --> 00:00:51,269
And so, within a matter of days,
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00:00:51,293 --> 00:00:52,788
victory came to
the Union forces.
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00:00:52,812 --> 00:00:55,792
And Wilton Parmenter,
Quartermaster Corps,
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00:00:55,816 --> 00:00:57,393
became a man of destiny,
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00:00:57,417 --> 00:01:00,181
the Scourge of Appomattox.
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00:01:00,205 --> 00:01:02,049
Members of the Parmenter family
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00:01:02,073 --> 00:01:03,652
assembled to observe
the ceremonies
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00:01:03,676 --> 00:01:05,687
honoring Wilton Parmenter.
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Wilton's first cousin,
Major Achilles Parmenter.
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00:01:09,549 --> 00:01:10,993
His second cousin,
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00:01:11,017 --> 00:01:13,497
Lieutenant Colonel
Hercules Parmenter.
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00:01:13,521 --> 00:01:17,168
His uncle, Colonel
Jupiter Parmenter.
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00:01:17,192 --> 00:01:20,172
And his father, General
Thor X. Parmenter.
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00:01:20,196 --> 00:01:21,640
Heroes, all.
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00:01:21,664 --> 00:01:24,009
In splendid tradition, they
gathered here to pay honor
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00:01:24,033 --> 00:01:26,079
to another member of
the Parmenter family:
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00:01:26,103 --> 00:01:29,467
Wilton Parmenter, the
Scourge of Appomattox.
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00:01:29,491 --> 00:01:31,802
They watch proudly
as he stepped forward
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00:01:31,826 --> 00:01:33,171
to receive his just reward...
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00:01:33,195 --> 00:01:35,746
from a grateful country.
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00:01:43,408 --> 00:01:46,354
Promotion to captain,
the Medal of Honor...
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00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:55,899
and the Purple Heart.
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00:01:55,923 --> 00:01:58,635
He was the only soldier in
history ever to get a medal
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00:01:58,659 --> 00:02:00,438
for getting a medal.
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00:02:00,462 --> 00:02:02,574
Well, Parmenter, we've
got to find an assignment
48
00:02:02,598 --> 00:02:04,593
befitting the Scourge
of Appomattox
49
00:02:04,617 --> 00:02:06,962
Sir, they've gone through
three commanding officers
50
00:02:06,986 --> 00:02:08,063
at Fort Courage.
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00:02:08,087 --> 00:02:10,600
Two desertions and
a... nervous breakdown.
52
00:02:10,624 --> 00:02:11,901
Fort Courage, eh?
53
00:02:11,925 --> 00:02:14,326
Ah, good thinking, Wormsbecker.
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00:02:15,630 --> 00:02:17,007
At a frontier post like that,
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00:02:17,031 --> 00:02:19,211
he might be just the
inspirational leader they need.
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00:02:19,235 --> 00:02:22,081
Captain Parmenter,
as of this moment,
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00:02:22,105 --> 00:02:25,402
you are the commanding
officer of F Troop.
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00:03:54,184 --> 00:03:55,185
Come in.
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00:03:58,623 --> 00:04:01,369
Oh, good morning,
sergeant, corporal.
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00:04:01,393 --> 00:04:03,388
Sir, Sergeant O'Rourke
and Corporal Agarn
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00:04:03,412 --> 00:04:04,724
reporting for duty.
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00:04:04,748 --> 00:04:05,925
Uh, F Troop is assembled for
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00:04:05,949 --> 00:04:07,393
the captain's first inspection.
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00:04:07,417 --> 00:04:09,246
Good. Good.
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00:04:09,270 --> 00:04:10,581
May I, sir?
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00:04:10,605 --> 00:04:12,120
Oh, yes. Yes.
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00:04:13,559 --> 00:04:14,869
Yeah.
68
00:04:16,294 --> 00:04:18,641
Ah, thank you,
sergeant. Thank you.
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00:04:18,665 --> 00:04:20,509
Oh, just one moment.
70
00:04:20,533 --> 00:04:21,811
I'd...
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00:04:21,835 --> 00:04:23,813
I'd like to hang up this
picture of my family.
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00:04:23,837 --> 00:04:25,604
We'd be honored, sir.
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00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:29,486
Ah, Major Achilles Parmenter,
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00:04:29,510 --> 00:04:31,557
Lieutenant Colonel
Hercules Parmenter,
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00:04:31,581 --> 00:04:33,542
Colonel Jupiter Parmenter,
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00:04:33,566 --> 00:04:34,944
General Thor Parmenter.
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00:04:34,968 --> 00:04:38,047
And now, Captain
Wilton Parmenter.
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00:04:41,275 --> 00:04:43,370
Uh, m-m-mickanawa what?
79
00:04:43,394 --> 00:04:45,740
Oh, that's, uh,
Hekawi, sir. Uh, Indian.
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00:04:45,764 --> 00:04:48,578
It means, "Scourge of the West."
81
00:04:48,602 --> 00:04:50,780
Oh, no. No, no. I was
never west before.
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00:04:50,804 --> 00:04:52,616
I wa... I was called the sc...
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00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:54,985
I'm afraid the captain's
reputation has preceded him.
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00:04:55,009 --> 00:04:56,286
It has? Oh, yes, sir.
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00:04:56,310 --> 00:04:57,755
Corporal Agarn.
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00:04:57,779 --> 00:04:59,323
Would you see that
the troop is ready
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00:04:59,347 --> 00:05:00,675
for the captain's inspection.
88
00:05:04,087 --> 00:05:05,319
Oh.
89
00:05:08,758 --> 00:05:14,196
Uh... "Reveille."
"Reveille"... Ah! Uh...
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00:05:17,252 --> 00:05:18,898
Okay.
91
00:05:18,922 --> 00:05:20,199
Are... Are you hurt, sir?
92
00:05:20,223 --> 00:05:21,956
I'm all right, sergeant.
93
00:05:24,795 --> 00:05:26,779
Ha. I-I fall down a lot.
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00:05:28,116 --> 00:05:29,394
You know...
95
00:05:29,418 --> 00:05:32,230
You know, my... My
father used to say that...
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00:05:32,254 --> 00:05:35,167
That I had more left feet
than any kid in Philadelphia.
97
00:05:38,612 --> 00:05:40,691
Well, for a... For a
general, that's pretty funny.
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00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:42,526
Oh, yes.
99
00:05:44,819 --> 00:05:46,564
Sergeant...
100
00:05:46,588 --> 00:05:48,508
it's time for me
to take command.
101
00:06:01,941 --> 00:06:03,852
All right, now,
let's look alive.
102
00:06:03,876 --> 00:06:05,288
It's all you have to do all day,
103
00:06:05,312 --> 00:06:06,839
so let's do it right!
104
00:06:06,863 --> 00:06:09,175
Svigson!
105
00:06:09,199 --> 00:06:12,402
If you're awake, let
your face know about it.
106
00:06:16,776 --> 00:06:19,688
Gravy stains,
Duddleson? Gravy stains?
107
00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:22,233
Look at you! You're a mess!
108
00:06:26,170 --> 00:06:27,937
Forget it.
109
00:06:36,132 --> 00:06:38,929
F Troop all present
and accounted for, sir.
110
00:06:38,953 --> 00:06:40,252
Good work, corporal.
111
00:06:42,290 --> 00:06:44,224
Men...
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00:06:45,161 --> 00:06:46,809
you're in the army now.
113
00:06:50,550 --> 00:06:51,995
I, uh...
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00:06:52,019 --> 00:06:54,459
have never heard
that put so well, sir.
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00:06:59,478 --> 00:07:01,624
Heh. Good. Good work, corporal.
116
00:07:01,648 --> 00:07:04,026
Oh. Oh, uh, sergeant, I've
been meaning to ask you.
117
00:07:04,050 --> 00:07:05,862
How come we have
"Reveille" at 10:00?
118
00:07:05,886 --> 00:07:08,164
Now, back East, when I was
in the Quartermaster Corps,
119
00:07:08,188 --> 00:07:09,700
we had "Reveille" at 7.
120
00:07:09,724 --> 00:07:11,401
Yo, but that
captain is forgetting
121
00:07:11,425 --> 00:07:13,704
there's a... A three-hour
time difference.
122
00:07:14,897 --> 00:07:15,874
Of course.
123
00:07:15,898 --> 00:07:17,175
Yes.
124
00:07:17,199 --> 00:07:18,800
Beg your pardon. Mm.
125
00:07:36,757 --> 00:07:39,469
Solider, you've got
a button missing.
126
00:07:39,493 --> 00:07:42,106
Yes, sir. It's been
missing for over a month.
127
00:07:42,130 --> 00:07:44,108
Oh.
128
00:07:44,132 --> 00:07:46,011
Well... keep looking.
129
00:07:46,035 --> 00:07:47,779
It's bound to be
around someplace.
130
00:07:47,803 --> 00:07:50,217
Mail call for Fort Courage!
131
00:07:50,241 --> 00:07:52,121
Pick it up at the trading post!
132
00:07:57,949 --> 00:07:59,411
Eh, troop dismissed.
133
00:08:27,586 --> 00:08:29,815
Ashby.
134
00:08:29,839 --> 00:08:30,816
Billy.
135
00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:32,551
Fleischman.
136
00:08:32,575 --> 00:08:34,521
Captain, I'd like
to present to you,
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00:08:34,545 --> 00:08:36,039
Miss Jane Angelica Thrift.
138
00:08:36,063 --> 00:08:38,242
Janey, this is Captain
Wilton Parmenter.
139
00:08:38,266 --> 00:08:39,744
I'm happy to know
you, Miss Thrift.
140
00:08:39,768 --> 00:08:41,779
Shucks. You just
call me Wrangler.
141
00:08:41,803 --> 00:08:42,848
Or Janey.
142
00:08:42,872 --> 00:08:44,917
I run the trading
post here in town.
143
00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:47,587
Oh, we'll be seeing something
of each other, I imagine.
144
00:08:47,611 --> 00:08:49,923
You can bet a bucket
of buzzards we will.
145
00:08:49,947 --> 00:08:52,268
Here. This was right
on top of the heap.
146
00:08:53,117 --> 00:08:54,428
Dispatch from Washington.
147
00:08:54,452 --> 00:08:57,413
Oh. Well, what do you
suppose they want?
148
00:09:00,293 --> 00:09:02,003
Oh, ser-sergeant,
149
00:09:02,027 --> 00:09:04,373
we've got to get things
straightened up around the post.
150
00:09:04,397 --> 00:09:05,575
Company's coming tomorrow.
151
00:09:05,599 --> 00:09:06,576
Oh?
152
00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:08,278
Yes, a Second Lieutenant Hawkes
153
00:09:08,302 --> 00:09:10,214
from the Inspector
General's office.
154
00:09:10,238 --> 00:09:11,716
Darn it, I just got
here yesterday.
155
00:09:11,740 --> 00:09:13,050
Oh, well,
156
00:09:13,074 --> 00:09:14,953
now, don't you worry
about a thing, captain.
157
00:09:14,977 --> 00:09:17,556
We'll have everything as
slick as a greasy whistle.
158
00:09:19,233 --> 00:09:21,600
Be seeing you around, captain.
159
00:09:23,287 --> 00:09:25,499
Well, I'm sure the captain
wants to prepare himself
160
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:26,602
for the inspection.
161
00:09:26,626 --> 00:09:27,836
The sergeant is right, sir.
162
00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:29,537
Well, I guess I could
go check my manual.
163
00:09:29,561 --> 00:09:31,708
It's bound to have something
in it about what you do
164
00:09:31,732 --> 00:09:33,175
with a second lieutenant. Yeah.
165
00:09:33,199 --> 00:09:35,149
Ah. Dobbs!
166
00:09:36,537 --> 00:09:38,566
From now on, you're
the captain's orderly.
167
00:09:38,590 --> 00:09:40,635
He'll see you to your
quarters, captain.
168
00:09:40,659 --> 00:09:43,139
Good. Good. Uh,
thank you, sergeant.
169
00:09:43,846 --> 00:09:46,287
Right this way, captain.
170
00:09:49,803 --> 00:09:50,953
Excuse me.
171
00:09:53,090 --> 00:09:55,670
And to think, that little
guy is a Parmenter.
172
00:09:55,694 --> 00:09:57,438
I tell you, sarge,
he's the pigeon
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00:09:57,462 --> 00:09:59,007
we've always dreamed of.
174
00:09:59,031 --> 00:10:00,509
Yeah, and now we get him.
175
00:10:01,567 --> 00:10:03,379
"Scourge of the West."
176
00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:05,682
Man coming out from the
Inspector General's office,
177
00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:07,685
that could be the end
of O'Rourke Enterprises.
178
00:10:07,709 --> 00:10:09,086
Sending in those phony reports
179
00:10:09,110 --> 00:10:11,556
about knocking off
two tribes in two weeks.
180
00:10:11,580 --> 00:10:14,493
Drawing rations for 30
men when we only got 17.
181
00:10:14,517 --> 00:10:16,428
I tell you something,
if that snoop finds out
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00:10:16,452 --> 00:10:18,097
how peaceful it
really is around here,
183
00:10:18,121 --> 00:10:20,100
they'll be no more Fort Courage.
184
00:10:22,593 --> 00:10:24,205
A hundred and five.
185
00:10:24,229 --> 00:10:25,907
I think I'm gonna be sick.
186
00:10:25,931 --> 00:10:28,209
I am sick!
187
00:10:28,233 --> 00:10:29,400
Come on!
188
00:10:32,672 --> 00:10:34,050
Huh.
189
00:10:34,074 --> 00:10:36,319
Look at all this beautiful loot.
190
00:10:36,343 --> 00:10:39,323
Arrows, quivers, bows,
shields, tomahawks.
191
00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:41,358
Two hundred
souvenir war bonnets.
192
00:10:41,382 --> 00:10:43,194
Four barrels of
perfumed war paint.
193
00:10:43,218 --> 00:10:46,131
What's the use in
counting all this stuff, sarge?
194
00:10:46,155 --> 00:10:47,600
When that
lieutenant gets here...
195
00:10:47,624 --> 00:10:49,035
Hey, wait a minute!
196
00:10:49,059 --> 00:10:51,471
Is that all the whiskey I got?
197
00:10:51,495 --> 00:10:53,273
Now, how do you
expect me to run a saloon
198
00:10:53,297 --> 00:10:54,575
with a half a case of whiskey?
199
00:10:54,599 --> 00:10:56,310
I told you, sarge.
Chief Wild Eagle says
200
00:10:56,334 --> 00:10:57,913
they need a copper
coil for the still.
201
00:10:57,937 --> 00:10:59,247
All right, get one.
202
00:10:59,271 --> 00:11:00,716
Tell supply it's something to...
203
00:11:00,740 --> 00:11:02,273
That'll repair the cannon with.
204
00:11:04,011 --> 00:11:05,422
What did you say?
205
00:11:05,446 --> 00:11:06,423
The still's busted.
206
00:11:06,447 --> 00:11:08,025
No! Who said it?
207
00:11:08,049 --> 00:11:09,527
Chief Wild Eagle.
208
00:11:09,551 --> 00:11:11,529
Wild Eagle. Huh?
Oh, that's the answer.
209
00:11:11,553 --> 00:11:12,965
To what?
210
00:11:12,989 --> 00:11:15,434
Listen. I got rid of two
captains and a major, didn't I?
211
00:11:15,458 --> 00:11:16,669
Yeah.
212
00:11:16,693 --> 00:11:19,005
Now, I ought to be able to
handle one nosy lieutenant
213
00:11:19,029 --> 00:11:20,807
from the Inspector
General's office.
214
00:11:20,831 --> 00:11:23,243
Uh, tonight, you
and I pay a visit
215
00:11:23,267 --> 00:11:25,312
to the bloodthirsty Hekawi.
216
00:11:36,383 --> 00:11:39,129
Wild Eagle, my brother.
217
00:11:39,153 --> 00:11:42,767
You some brother.
218
00:11:42,791 --> 00:11:44,926
Still, still busted.
219
00:11:46,162 --> 00:11:49,108
How you expect
Hekawi make firewater?
220
00:11:49,132 --> 00:11:51,611
We'll get you a new
coil. And when we do,
221
00:11:51,635 --> 00:11:53,614
stop holding out
liquor for the tribe.
222
00:11:53,638 --> 00:11:55,917
Indians ain't supposed
to drink alcohol.
223
00:11:55,941 --> 00:11:57,886
Who says so?
224
00:11:57,910 --> 00:11:59,588
Everybody. Yeah.
225
00:11:59,612 --> 00:12:01,724
Ah, that just nasty rumor,
226
00:12:01,748 --> 00:12:04,627
spread by sister-in-law,
Sparkling Water.
227
00:12:04,651 --> 00:12:08,955
She one big bluenose redskin.
228
00:12:10,057 --> 00:12:12,203
Bluenose redskin.
229
00:12:17,033 --> 00:12:19,312
Wild Eagle make funny joke!
230
00:12:21,171 --> 00:12:22,382
Listen, W.E.
231
00:12:22,406 --> 00:12:23,651
There's a snoop lieutenant
232
00:12:23,675 --> 00:12:25,186
coming out here from Washington.
233
00:12:25,210 --> 00:12:27,555
And we gotta convince him
we're having Injun trouble.
234
00:12:27,579 --> 00:12:28,958
So how about attacking the fort?
235
00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:30,058
Attack you? Yeah.
236
00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:31,393
You honorary Hekawi.
237
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:32,863
No, chief, not a real fight.
238
00:12:32,887 --> 00:12:34,330
We'll shoot over your heads,
239
00:12:34,354 --> 00:12:35,599
you shoot over ours.
240
00:12:35,623 --> 00:12:37,001
What are friends for?
241
00:12:37,025 --> 00:12:39,604
Okay, look, I-I'll fire
the cannon as a signal,
242
00:12:39,628 --> 00:12:41,373
and you just run up
and make a lot of noise.
243
00:12:41,397 --> 00:12:42,374
Nobody gets hurt.
244
00:12:42,398 --> 00:12:44,510
You got wrong tribe, brother.
245
00:12:44,534 --> 00:12:47,780
Hekawis not fight.
Theys invent peace pipe.
246
00:12:47,804 --> 00:12:50,417
Hekawis not mad at nobody.
247
00:12:50,441 --> 00:12:52,419
Listen, Wild Eagle,
either you're gonna fight
248
00:12:52,443 --> 00:12:54,421
or you're gonna go back
to hunting and fishing.
249
00:12:54,445 --> 00:12:55,857
And weaving your own blankets!
250
00:12:55,881 --> 00:12:57,392
We fight. Ah.
251
00:12:57,416 --> 00:12:59,261
Wait. What?
252
00:12:59,285 --> 00:13:01,063
How we fight?
253
00:13:01,087 --> 00:13:02,865
Must do war dance first.
254
00:13:02,889 --> 00:13:04,034
All right, so do war dance.
255
00:13:04,058 --> 00:13:05,636
Not remember war dance.
256
00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:06,926
Hekawi too peaceful.
257
00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:12,244
Hey.
258
00:13:12,268 --> 00:13:15,347
Any you boys remember war dance?
259
00:13:17,841 --> 00:13:20,253
See? Nobody remember war dance.
260
00:13:20,277 --> 00:13:22,489
Hey, how about the medicine man?
261
00:13:22,513 --> 00:13:25,414
Him big quack,
but I ask. All right.
262
00:13:27,219 --> 00:13:29,486
Hey! Roaring Chicken!
263
00:13:32,075 --> 00:13:33,285
Somebody sick?
264
00:13:35,780 --> 00:13:37,775
Need soup?
265
00:13:37,799 --> 00:13:40,584
Come on double. We hold powwow.
266
00:13:49,564 --> 00:13:50,807
Powwow?
267
00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:52,043
What is "powwow?"
268
00:13:52,067 --> 00:13:54,746
Oh, he's gonna be a lot of help.
269
00:13:54,770 --> 00:13:56,147
Have a little respect, will you?
270
00:13:56,171 --> 00:13:58,316
Why... he's old enough
to be your father.
271
00:13:58,340 --> 00:14:01,605
Him very old Eastern boy.
Come from good family in Ohio.
272
00:14:01,629 --> 00:14:03,440
Doc.
273
00:14:03,464 --> 00:14:06,361
You ever see war dance?
274
00:14:06,385 --> 00:14:07,995
Oh.
275
00:14:08,019 --> 00:14:10,899
I see war dance many moons ago.
276
00:14:10,923 --> 00:14:13,319
Many, many, many moons.
277
00:14:13,343 --> 00:14:14,955
You and your moons.
278
00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:16,256
When?
279
00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:19,048
Forty-two years
ago, last August.
280
00:14:20,352 --> 00:14:23,031
War dance very much like, um,
281
00:14:23,055 --> 00:14:25,255
rain dance, only drier.
282
00:14:26,359 --> 00:14:28,237
You run around fire.
283
00:14:28,261 --> 00:14:30,807
You jump up and down... Ah!
284
00:14:30,831 --> 00:14:32,743
Hm. And look savage.
285
00:14:32,767 --> 00:14:34,428
That ain't no war dance!
286
00:14:34,452 --> 00:14:35,662
No?
287
00:14:35,686 --> 00:14:37,565
No. Look, sarge,
288
00:14:37,589 --> 00:14:39,367
you and the chief
get your signal straight
289
00:14:39,391 --> 00:14:40,735
about the cannon.
290
00:14:40,759 --> 00:14:42,938
I'll take the boys and show
them how to do a war dance.
291
00:14:42,962 --> 00:14:45,147
All right, come on
you braves. Follow me.
292
00:14:53,892 --> 00:14:55,070
Nice, bouncy four.
293
00:14:55,094 --> 00:14:58,641
One and two and
three and four...
294
00:15:03,938 --> 00:15:06,038
Come on, boys. What's the life?
295
00:15:16,220 --> 00:15:19,287
Hear me, Shug warriors.
296
00:15:19,890 --> 00:15:20,869
No kill.
297
00:15:20,893 --> 00:15:22,871
Follow.
298
00:15:22,895 --> 00:15:24,772
They lead us to fort.
299
00:15:24,796 --> 00:15:26,708
Shugs attack.
300
00:15:26,732 --> 00:15:29,868
We kill... many paleface.
301
00:15:39,732 --> 00:15:41,510
All right, now you
get this straight.
302
00:15:41,534 --> 00:15:43,779
When them Hekawis attack,
you aim over their heads.
303
00:15:43,803 --> 00:15:46,349
And if you shake loose
so much as one feather,
304
00:15:46,373 --> 00:15:48,519
I'll transfer you
all to another outfit.
305
00:15:48,543 --> 00:15:49,553
A fighting outfit.
306
00:15:49,577 --> 00:15:50,554
Right.
307
00:15:50,578 --> 00:15:53,096
Hey fellas, here
comes the inspector.
308
00:15:59,456 --> 00:16:02,469
Troop... attention.
309
00:16:02,493 --> 00:16:04,443
Present arms.
310
00:16:14,108 --> 00:16:16,053
Lieutenant Jefferson
Hawkes reporting, sir,
311
00:16:16,077 --> 00:16:17,743
on orders from the
Inspector General.
312
00:16:20,114 --> 00:16:22,410
Put up... arms!
313
00:16:22,434 --> 00:16:23,428
Is this all of F troop?
314
00:16:23,452 --> 00:16:24,796
Oh no, no.
315
00:16:24,820 --> 00:16:26,933
No, uh, Franklin's
upstairs doing sentry duty.
316
00:16:26,957 --> 00:16:28,818
We're pretty
military around here.
317
00:16:28,842 --> 00:16:30,403
Would you like to
inspect the troop?
318
00:16:30,427 --> 00:16:32,356
You draw rations and
pay allotments for 30 men.
319
00:16:32,380 --> 00:16:33,774
Where are the others?
320
00:16:33,798 --> 00:16:35,225
Yeah, they're
out on, uh, patrol.
321
00:16:35,249 --> 00:16:36,795
That's right. That's right.
322
00:16:36,819 --> 00:16:39,263
Uh, they've been out on that
patrol since before I got here.
323
00:16:39,287 --> 00:16:40,366
That's interesting.
324
00:16:40,390 --> 00:16:42,468
How do they draw
their rations and pay?
325
00:16:42,492 --> 00:16:44,454
Oh, they're Indian scouts.
326
00:16:44,478 --> 00:16:46,122
They sneak in during
the dead of night.
327
00:16:46,146 --> 00:16:47,624
Sneak out before dawn.
328
00:16:47,648 --> 00:16:48,858
Oh?
329
00:16:48,882 --> 00:16:50,044
Oh.
330
00:16:50,068 --> 00:16:51,379
Mm.
331
00:16:51,403 --> 00:16:54,049
Sir! The troops are waiting
to be dismissed. Mm.
332
00:16:54,073 --> 00:16:55,589
Good. You're dismissed.
333
00:16:57,693 --> 00:16:58,738
Come on, lieutenant,
334
00:16:58,762 --> 00:17:01,242
I'll show you to your quarters.
335
00:17:02,217 --> 00:17:04,461
Gee, I'm glad you're here.
336
00:17:04,485 --> 00:17:06,314
Maybe you and I can
have an officers' club.
337
00:17:06,338 --> 00:17:09,573
Captain, I got this as a
welcoming present for you.
338
00:17:11,277 --> 00:17:12,872
Put your initials on it myself.
339
00:17:12,896 --> 00:17:15,898
Oh. Well, will you look at that?
340
00:17:16,934 --> 00:17:18,178
Oh.
341
00:17:18,202 --> 00:17:21,082
This is nice and slippery
for a fast draw, see.
342
00:17:21,106 --> 00:17:22,801
Oh, thank you, Janey.
343
00:17:22,825 --> 00:17:24,754
Gee, isn't that
something? Gorgeous.
344
00:17:24,778 --> 00:17:27,256
S-say, why... Why
don't we all go inside
345
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,641
and have a nice chat?
346
00:17:32,319 --> 00:17:33,765
Who did that?!
347
00:17:33,789 --> 00:17:36,400
Oh, oh! Captain,
captain. My goodness.
348
00:17:36,424 --> 00:17:38,270
There's an awful lot
of Indians out there.
349
00:17:38,294 --> 00:17:40,895
The ferocious Hekawis
are about to attack.
350
00:17:46,938 --> 00:17:48,604
Injun attack.
351
00:17:50,358 --> 00:17:52,938
Uh, uh... Uh, Dobbs,
blow the charge.
352
00:17:52,962 --> 00:17:55,375
The attack. Uh...
Blow the bugle.
353
00:18:04,660 --> 00:18:06,604
What happened?
Nobody fired the cannon?
354
00:18:06,628 --> 00:18:08,874
Oh, them dumb Hekawis.
They don't do anything right!
355
00:18:08,898 --> 00:18:09,997
Ahh!
356
00:18:20,028 --> 00:18:21,439
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
357
00:18:21,463 --> 00:18:22,875
You ain't supposed
to be in here!
358
00:18:22,899 --> 00:18:24,443
The fight's outside
the other gate.
359
00:18:25,518 --> 00:18:27,652
Ah! "Kemano-shish
negood" yourself.
360
00:18:29,556 --> 00:18:31,457
And get the still fixed!
361
00:18:40,503 --> 00:18:42,737
Yes. Indian attack...
362
00:18:46,911 --> 00:18:47,955
Yeah.
363
00:18:47,979 --> 00:18:50,275
Ah... Yeah. There, there, there.
364
00:18:58,943 --> 00:19:00,787
Will you look at them Hekawis.
365
00:19:00,811 --> 00:19:02,423
Like a bunch of wild Indians.
366
00:19:14,461 --> 00:19:16,390
Hey, what are you trying
to do, kill somebody?
367
00:19:16,414 --> 00:19:18,525
Well, ain't that
the general idea?
368
00:19:18,549 --> 00:19:20,279
Already got three of them.
369
00:19:20,303 --> 00:19:22,213
What am I gonna tell the chief?
370
00:19:22,237 --> 00:19:23,615
She'll wipe out the whole tribe.
371
00:19:23,639 --> 00:19:24,751
Hey, uh, hold out now.
372
00:19:24,775 --> 00:19:26,719
Cut out now, will
you, Wrangler, please?
373
00:19:26,743 --> 00:19:27,743
Cut that out.
374
00:19:29,764 --> 00:19:31,947
Hopping horn toads!
375
00:19:33,018 --> 00:19:34,395
Hey, they sure missed you close.
376
00:19:34,419 --> 00:19:36,899
Some Hekawis are getting good.
377
00:19:38,408 --> 00:19:41,220
What do you mean,
Hekawis? They're the Shugs.
378
00:19:41,244 --> 00:19:42,923
The Shugs!
379
00:19:42,947 --> 00:19:44,191
Commence firing.
380
00:19:44,215 --> 00:19:46,776
But for real. It's the Shug.
381
00:19:51,341 --> 00:19:54,069
Dobbs, where's my sword?
382
00:19:54,093 --> 00:19:56,134
It's right there in
the umbrella stand.
383
00:20:02,887 --> 00:20:04,121
Oh, captain.
384
00:20:07,860 --> 00:20:09,026
Charge!
385
00:20:20,942 --> 00:20:22,220
Charge!
386
00:20:22,244 --> 00:20:23,377
Captain!
387
00:20:24,714 --> 00:20:25,847
Won't you need this part?
388
00:20:34,476 --> 00:20:36,288
Hey, somebody get
that arrow out of there.
389
00:20:36,312 --> 00:20:38,792
Yeah, I'll take
care of it, sergeant.
390
00:20:47,208 --> 00:20:48,341
Whoa-oh!
391
00:20:54,668 --> 00:20:55,683
Whoa!
392
00:20:58,673 --> 00:21:00,473
Captain Parmenter, look out!
393
00:21:02,511 --> 00:21:04,822
Captain Parmenter!
Scourge of the West!
394
00:21:04,846 --> 00:21:05,824
Run!
395
00:21:05,848 --> 00:21:07,568
Hey, they're retreating.
396
00:21:18,697 --> 00:21:20,008
The captain scared them off!
397
00:21:20,032 --> 00:21:21,210
Ha-ha!
398
00:21:21,234 --> 00:21:23,178
Hooray!
399
00:21:49,535 --> 00:21:51,346
Oh, yes, sir.
400
00:21:51,370 --> 00:21:53,849
We'll call them trophies
of the Shug War.
401
00:21:53,873 --> 00:21:57,086
Genuine Indian headdresses
taken in hand-to-hand combat.
402
00:21:57,110 --> 00:21:59,456
Tomtoms. Feels like tomtoms.
403
00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:00,758
We'll print a little booklet
404
00:22:00,782 --> 00:22:02,326
about the long and
bloody campaign.
405
00:22:02,350 --> 00:22:03,762
I can see it now.
406
00:22:03,786 --> 00:22:06,398
My War with the Shugs by
Morgan O'Rourke, as told...
407
00:22:06,422 --> 00:22:09,002
Will you cut that
out. The battle's over.
408
00:22:09,026 --> 00:22:10,003
A hundred and seven.
409
00:22:10,027 --> 00:22:11,638
Have a ballad written.
410
00:22:11,662 --> 00:22:14,241
It'll be played in every saloon
west of the Mississippi River.
411
00:22:14,265 --> 00:22:16,310
"The Legend of Morgan O'Rourke."
412
00:22:16,334 --> 00:22:18,479
Oh, we'll clean up. Hey,
make a note of that, Agarn.
413
00:22:18,503 --> 00:22:19,881
Get somebody who'll work cheap.
414
00:22:19,905 --> 00:22:22,618
Sarge. My heart. Feel my heart.
415
00:22:22,642 --> 00:22:23,619
Will you stop that?
416
00:22:23,643 --> 00:22:25,922
Now, Agarn, just
think for a minute.
417
00:22:25,946 --> 00:22:28,458
In a few days, the
still will be finished.
418
00:22:28,482 --> 00:22:30,561
That snoop
lieutenant will be gone.
419
00:22:30,585 --> 00:22:33,964
And O'Rourke Enterprises
will be back in business.
420
00:22:33,989 --> 00:22:34,966
Sarge. What?
421
00:22:34,990 --> 00:22:37,669
What happened to the Hekawis?
422
00:22:37,693 --> 00:22:39,171
That Shug arrow
you took in the hat
423
00:22:39,195 --> 00:22:41,340
must have gone
through your memory too.
424
00:22:41,364 --> 00:22:43,477
That's right. The cannon.
425
00:22:43,501 --> 00:22:45,713
Uh-huh. No signal,
no Hekawi attack.
426
00:22:45,737 --> 00:22:47,147
But now we're back in business.
427
00:22:47,171 --> 00:22:49,785
No more worries, no more cares.
428
00:22:49,809 --> 00:22:51,420
With Captain Wilton Parmenter,
429
00:22:51,444 --> 00:22:53,765
the Scourge of the
West, in command.
430
00:22:55,214 --> 00:22:57,327
Hey we'll take inventory
tomorrow. Come on.
431
00:23:10,768 --> 00:23:11,978
Sergeant asked me
432
00:23:12,002 --> 00:23:13,580
to give you this
report, captain.
433
00:23:13,604 --> 00:23:15,550
"Shugs lost 24 men.
434
00:23:15,574 --> 00:23:18,123
We got seven. And
Miss Wrangler got 17."
435
00:23:20,362 --> 00:23:21,606
Well, uh, what did we loose?
436
00:23:21,630 --> 00:23:23,677
One ladder.
437
00:23:23,701 --> 00:23:26,346
Ah. And I busted my good sword.
438
00:23:26,370 --> 00:23:28,237
Hm. Five o'clock.
439
00:23:29,958 --> 00:23:32,271
Why, don't you have
a retreat at this post?
440
00:23:32,295 --> 00:23:34,706
What? We won. Why should we...
441
00:23:34,730 --> 00:23:37,042
Oh, oh, oh. That
kind of retreat...
442
00:23:37,066 --> 00:23:38,278
Ta-taking down the flag.
443
00:23:38,302 --> 00:23:40,863
Let's go, Hannibal.
444
00:23:44,225 --> 00:23:46,771
Captain, I can't play retreat.
445
00:23:46,795 --> 00:23:48,573
That's the one I don't
know how to play yet.
446
00:23:48,597 --> 00:23:50,293
What do you usually play?
447
00:23:50,317 --> 00:23:51,661
"Yankee Doodle," sir.
448
00:23:51,685 --> 00:23:53,328
Oh.
449
00:23:53,352 --> 00:23:55,498
Well, that's nice.
450
00:23:55,522 --> 00:23:57,973
You play that, and
I'll shoot the cannon.
451
00:24:07,254 --> 00:24:08,397
Captain, don't do that!
452
00:24:08,421 --> 00:24:09,749
That's the signal.
453
00:24:09,773 --> 00:24:11,835
Don't fire the cannon.
It'll wreck everything!
454
00:24:11,859 --> 00:24:13,938
Here, captain, you don't
know what you're doing.
455
00:24:13,962 --> 00:24:15,439
Sorry, men, it's
time for retreat.
456
00:24:15,463 --> 00:24:17,230
Back!
457
00:24:28,813 --> 00:24:31,176
Captain! The
Hekawis are attacking.
458
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:33,596
To the parapets. Charge!
31831
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