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1
00:00:01,160 --> 00:00:03,640
Amrita... You're not getting...
2
00:00:03,640 --> 00:00:04,960
Oh...
..Married.
3
00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:08,480
Amrita? You didn't tell us
You had a boyfriend.
4
00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:10,960
Oh, abs isn't my boyfriend.
5
00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:13,960
You can tell us. What's his name?
6
00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:17,960
Er, ab...
It's abhijeet! His name's abhijeet.
7
00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:20,960
Oh, my god. He's sikh?
Mm-hm.
8
00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:23,960
You're sikh?
You are coming in right now.
9
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:32,960
Abhijeet?
10
00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:36,800
I can't tell my sikh sister I've got
A muslim boyfriend, now, can I?
11
00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:38,160
Look, what are you
Actually doing here?
12
00:00:38,160 --> 00:00:41,000
You two loverbirds
Can talk all you want later,
13
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:44,960
But seeing as this is the night
Before my big wedding,
14
00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:46,960
I think I deserve to know what else
My big sis has been hiding.
15
00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:49,960
I really need to speak to amrita
In private. Mm-hm.
16
00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:51,960
Oh, come on, you can do a few rounds
With us, abhijeet,
17
00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:55,960
Or are you as lame as my perfect,
Sikh, golden-girl sister?
18
00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:59,000
"Perfect, sikh, golden girl"?
19
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,960
Oh, look, please, preethi.
We should be going to bed now.
20
00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:03,960
No, I'm pulling bridal privileges
Here now, sis.
21
00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:04,960
Come on.
22
00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:07,960
You drinking, abhijeet?
23
00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:11,960
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I... I brought my own.
24
00:01:11,960 --> 00:01:15,960
Oh, abs, that's not...
It's a... A moonshine.
25
00:01:15,960 --> 00:01:17,960
That's why they sell it
In these bags - highly illegal.
26
00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:19,960
Oh...
Oh! Can we have some?
27
00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:23,960
No.
No? Ugh.
28
00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:26,960
All right. Sim, you kick us off.
Fine.
29
00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:29,960
Never have I ever...
30
00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:31,960
They giggle
Oh, this is a good one.
31
00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:34,960
Sim giggles
32
00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:39,800
Laughter
33
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,960
Whoo!
Woohoo!
34
00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:48,960
Oh, ok, ok.
I told you I was busy.
35
00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:51,960
No, no, no, amrita,
I'm a real-life nosferatu.
36
00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:54,960
She chuckles
Did you make the fatal mistake
37
00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:58,160
Of combining weed brownies
And hammer horror movies again?
38
00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:02,000
He hisses
39
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,960
She chuckles
Ok.
40
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,960
Those are very realistic.
41
00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:10,480
She sniggers
Can I have some?
42
00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:13,960
You don't get it. Come here.
She chuckles
43
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:15,960
Look.
44
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:28,960
Ok, either I'm much more pissed
Than I thought I was, or...
45
00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:30,960
There's gotta be
A rational explanation for this.
46
00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:33,960
Oh, yeah?
And what on earth could that be?
47
00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:37,960
Rabies. Porphyria. I mean,
Renfield's syndrome, you've got...
48
00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:39,960
No, scrap the textbook, amrita.
49
00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:45,960
Look, I chundered raw blood
All over my mum's indian food.
50
00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:48,960
Downed a patient's blood bag
Like it was mango lassi.
51
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:50,960
I've spent the last few days
Running away
52
00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,960
From an angry dominatrix
That wants to kill me.
53
00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:55,480
It's all gone to shit.
54
00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,960
She sighs
Oh...
55
00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,960
I know how you feel, abs, you know?
56
00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:05,960
I mean...
She sighs
57
00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:08,640
Between my parents convinced
I'm gonna marry a six-foot-four jatt
58
00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:10,960
And an annoying white boyfriend
59
00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:11,960
Who just doesn't seem
To get the hint...
60
00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:16,960
..I know what it's like
To live a double life.
61
00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:18,960
Well, this isn't a metaphor, amrita.
62
00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:23,960
There's literally
An angry coven of racist vampires
63
00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:24,960
Trying to kill me.
64
00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:29,960
Well, yeah, but, I mean...
Look, just stay the night, ok?
65
00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:33,000
There's something
That I wanna tell you, so just...
66
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,960
Just stay, all right?
67
00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:36,480
You need to tell me wh...
68
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:39,960
Amrit?
69
00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:55,960
She groans
70
00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:08,960
She groans
71
00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:11,960
New face tattoo, katherine?
72
00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:14,960
I'd have thought
The men you've a taste for
73
00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:18,320
Prefer a big red dot
Between the eyebrows.
74
00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:20,960
He chuckles
Yeah, just a little...
75
00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:24,960
..Work injury.
76
00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:27,960
Something you wouldn't know about,
77
00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:29,960
Seeing you've never worked a day
In your lives.
78
00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:33,960
You know the penalty
For breaking the one progeny policy?
79
00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:36,960
Kill him by sundown tomorrow,
Or we'll have to do it for you.
80
00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:40,960
And you know what that means.
You set the hounds on me?
81
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:44,960
Sundown tomorrow...
Or it's the stake for you, too.
82
00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:49,960
Coin clinks
Don't spend it all on drugs.
83
00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:51,960
He chuckles
84
00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:05,960
He exhales
85
00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:19,960
He sighs
86
00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:22,800
She sighs
87
00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:25,960
Do vampires do breakfast?
88
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:30,960
They chuckle
Ugh.
89
00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:35,960
Shit.
90
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:37,960
She groans,
He chuckles
91
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:39,960
Raging hangover.
Yeah.
92
00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:41,960
Oh, you've got something
On your face.
93
00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:43,960
Where?
94
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:47,480
Oh, no. Oh!
Stop it.
95
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:49,960
I'm not stereotyping,
But are you two off to the cricket?
96
00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:50,960
Frank, what are you doing here?
97
00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:53,800
He chuckles
Your sister's wedding, silly.
98
00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:55,960
Now, which part
Of the indian traditions is this?
99
00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:59,480
I know about the mehndi night
And the haldi ceremony,
100
00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:00,960
But, yeah, I didn't know
All the bridesmaids
101
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:02,960
Got blind drunk the night before.
102
00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:04,960
I told you not to come.
103
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:05,960
Why's abs here, then?
104
00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:08,960
Come on,
I know that was brown-girl talk
105
00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:11,960
For "Come and save me".
Ugh, you're such an idiot.
106
00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:15,480
Abhijeet, who's this?
Abhijeet?
107
00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:18,960
I'm frank. Amrita's boyfriend?
What?
108
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:21,320
Fuck's sake!
109
00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:24,000
Outside. Now, both of you.
110
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,960
Morning.
Yeah, morning.
111
00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:30,000
I can't believe you came.
Why? What's wrong, babe?
112
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,960
I told you you weren't invited
To this wedding.
113
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,960
You can't hide your boyfriend
From your family forever.
114
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:37,800
It's classic abcd behaviour.
115
00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:41,960
American-born confused "Deshi"?
116
00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:46,800
Desi.
Number one, I'm not american.
117
00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:48,000
Number two,
Can you stop throwing terms at me
118
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,960
That you've learnt from twitter?
119
00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:51,640
How many times
Do I have to tell you, baby?
120
00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:54,960
I'm not like
Those other white boys, ya?
121
00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:56,960
I understand this stuff.
122
00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:58,960
I spent my whole gap year in goa,
For god's sake.
123
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,960
Oh, for the hundredth time,
It's not the same thing!
124
00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:03,960
For this relationship to work,
You'll have to let me in.
125
00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:05,960
Maybe this relationship
Isn't working anyway.
126
00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:11,960
You're not... Saying what I think
You're saying, are you, babe?
127
00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:13,960
She sighs
I...
128
00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:19,960
Er... Frank,
Why don't we hang out today,
129
00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:21,960
Seeing as though amrita's so busy?
130
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:23,960
But the wedding?
131
00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:29,640
Yeah, we can talk through it.
You know, brown man to white man?
132
00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:33,960
Well, I did want to practise
My bhangra moves with someone, so...
133
00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:37,960
Ok, yeah,
And we can talk about that.
134
00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:39,000
Yeah, see you later.
135
00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:41,960
Whispers: thank you.
136
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:47,960
Are you coming to the reception?
137
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:50,960
It's at hilton garden inn.
The one by heathrow?
138
00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:53,960
Dress to impress.
Wait, abs is invited?
139
00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:55,960
Out!
140
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:04,960
Ya, and that's why
I started dating brown chicks.
141
00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:07,160
You can literally taste the spices
When you go down.
142
00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:08,960
Abdulla, where have you been
All night?
143
00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:11,320
Who's this man you're with,
And what happened to your face?
144
00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:12,480
Is that fair & lovely?
145
00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:13,960
Hi, abdulla's mum.
It's nothing.
146
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,960
We're going upstairs.
Getting ready for the wedding.
147
00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:19,960
What wedding? It's not... What?
Get upstairs, you idiot!
148
00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:22,480
Haven't you seen
Any bollywood movies?
149
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:27,960
Huh? This is my chance to rush in
150
00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:30,960
And show her family
How much I love her.
151
00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:31,960
No, it's not, frank.
152
00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:34,960
It's actually quite simple -
She doesn't want you there.
153
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:38,960
See, that's what she's saying
With her lips, but her hips...
154
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:39,960
No.
Huh?
155
00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:43,000
You have to respect her wishes
On this, trust me.
156
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:45,640
Frank, stop. Stop, frank.
Yeah?
157
00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:46,960
Look, promise me you won't go?
158
00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:50,960
Fine.
159
00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:53,960
Abdulla exhales
Good. Thank you.
160
00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:56,960
I'm just gonna close my eyes for,
Like, 30 seconds.
161
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,960
Abdulla sighs
162
00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:18,960
Man: ease round the spine,
Bidalasana.
163
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:23,480
Arms to the ground,
Catur svanasana.
164
00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:27,960
And lift the hips to the sky...
165
00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:30,960
Kathy grunts
..Into adho mukha svanasana.
166
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:34,960
Breathe, ladies, breathe.
167
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:41,640
And exhale down
Into chaturanga dandasana...
168
00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:42,960
She groans
169
00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:48,800
Inhale,
Bring the legs together for...
170
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:51,800
..Sukhasana.
171
00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:56,320
Beautiful.
172
00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:59,960
Now, everyone, close your eyes
And repeat after me.
173
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,960
Om.
Class: om.
174
00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:07,800
Ah.
175
00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:13,960
Om.
Class: om.
176
00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,640
Ah.
177
00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:23,960
Oh, right. That's everything.
Thank you, my dears, and namaste.
178
00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:25,960
Namaste.
179
00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:26,960
Perfect form today.
Thank you.
180
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,320
That downward dog was stunning.
Beautiful work.
181
00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:30,960
Thank you, thank you.
I love your work, too.
182
00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:32,960
Oh, it's a pleasure.
See you next week.
183
00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:34,960
See you next week.
Thank you. Namaste.
184
00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:36,480
Yogi rishi?
Mm?
185
00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:38,640
I just wanted to make sure
That we're still on
186
00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:40,320
For the private session at mine -
187
00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:43,960
Just you, me, some incense
And that bottle of rose.
188
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:45,960
Well, I'm always happy
To help deepen
189
00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:47,960
My students' practice.
Mmm.
190
00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:50,960
Yeah, well, I wouldn't recommend
You go too deep, rish.
191
00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:53,960
I mean, she may be a yummy mummy,
But I doubt she's very tasty.
192
00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:55,160
Excuse me?
193
00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:57,480
Apologies, apologies,
My dear venetia.
194
00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:59,960
This is an old student of mine
195
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:01,960
Who clearly has to find
Some inner peace.
196
00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:04,960
If you'll just excuse me,
I'll talk to her for a second.
197
00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:05,960
Bless you, bless you.
198
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:08,960
English accent:
Kathy, what are you doing here?
199
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:12,960
I always told you that
Rich white women were disgusting -
200
00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:14,960
Too much white wine
And diet supplements.
201
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:16,960
No, no, I don't drink them. I...
202
00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:19,960
Look, what do you want?
203
00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:23,960
Just checking in on you, yogi rishi.
She chuckles
204
00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:25,960
Back in town after all these years,
205
00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:28,800
And you seem to have got yourself
A little cult.
206
00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:30,960
It's not a cult, all right?
I'm just...
207
00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:32,160
Look, I'm just using
My hindu background
208
00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:33,960
To spread a bit of positivity
In this world.
209
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:36,960
She scoffs
Not that you'd understand.
210
00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:37,960
Now, come on, why are you here?
211
00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:40,480
I may need your help.
212
00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:43,960
I made another one, and...
213
00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:45,960
And this time, he's a muslim.
She clears throat
214
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:49,960
He's what?
Oh, he's a muslim, all right?
215
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:51,960
He sighs
Oh, kath.
216
00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:02,960
Shafi, seriously, I'm done.
217
00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:04,960
I'll even stop calling girls
"Bitches" when I rap.
218
00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:07,960
It's bigger than that, shafi.
It's your whole attitude.
219
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:08,960
I mean, you literally said
220
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:11,960
"Islam allows up to four side hoes"
On your last track.
221
00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:13,960
Yeah, but that's scripture!
What did you say to abdulla?
222
00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:15,960
How did you get in here?
I know my way around these ends.
223
00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:17,800
Auntie, I just need one minute.
224
00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:19,480
Thanks to you
And your islamic sex therapy,
225
00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:21,960
My son is walking around
With some strange white man
226
00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:22,960
Talking about marriage.
227
00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:24,960
It's ok to be concerned, auntie,
228
00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:27,960
But you have to let abdulla
Make his own decisions.
229
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:31,640
I know kathy might not be
The ideal daughter-in-law, but...
230
00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:34,960
I don't want him making
The same mistakes that I did.
231
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:37,960
You know, just running off,
Getting married in secret,
232
00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:38,960
Conversion in name only.
233
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:40,960
Going on unchaperoned dates,
234
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,960
Chasing around strange white women,
Pussy outside of marriage. Hey!
235
00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:46,960
Have you listened to a single word
I've said? Yes.
236
00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:50,960
Shafi, you're the one that put
The idea of marriage into his head,
237
00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:52,960
So you're the one
Who's gonna help get it out.
238
00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:55,960
Listen, I could talk
About this feminism stuff
239
00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:58,480
With you forever, baby girl,
But this is an emergency.
240
00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:00,960
I can't...
What do you want me to do?
241
00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:04,960
Ah, just... All right, listen.
Don't worry, auntie bushie.
242
00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:06,960
Your boy shafi knows every asian
Wedding venue in town. I got it.
243
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:08,960
You sure?
Am I sure?
244
00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:10,960
I used to be a wedding hype man,
Didn't I?
245
00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:12,480
Big up to the bride and groom.
246
00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:27,960
Shit.
247
00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:30,960
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,
Shit, shit, shit, shit.
248
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:34,960
Dial tone
Pick up, pick up, pick up.
249
00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:35,960
Pick up, amrita.
'abs?'
250
00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:37,960
Amrita? He's not there, is he?
251
00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:39,960
'frank? You were meant
To keep an eye on him.'
252
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:42,960
I'm sorry, amrita.
I made him promise not to go, but...
253
00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:44,960
..He took my kurta.
254
00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:47,640
'oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
All right, that's not good, ok?
255
00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:50,960
'that's not good, erm...
You need to get here now.
256
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:52,960
'preethi blabbed about you
To mum and dad,
257
00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:56,960
'and I'm gonna need a human shield
If my idiot boyfriend turns up.'
258
00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:58,800
Fine. I'll be there.
259
00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:03,000
Glass of blood?
260
00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:07,960
Er, no, thanks. I'm vegetarian now.
261
00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:12,320
Huh, a vegetarian vampire.
How's that working out for you?
262
00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:13,960
I only drink animal blood.
263
00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:16,960
Yeah, I don't think
That's strictly vegetarian.
264
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,960
So... Tell me again...
265
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:26,960
..Why you decided to attack
This poor young muslim lad?
266
00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:28,960
You haven't started reading
The daily mail, have you?
267
00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:32,960
Oh, I dunno.
He just annoyed me with...
268
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:36,960
Those big, black eyes
And that milk chocolate skin.
269
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:39,160
This fetish of yours borders
On the problematic, you know?
270
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:41,960
Yeah, well, now that he's become
A fully fledged vampire,
271
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:44,960
The coven wanna kill me,
If I don't kill him first.
272
00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:46,960
Why can't you mark him off
As your progeny?
273
00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:49,960
Because I've already done that
With you, haven't I?
274
00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:51,960
You're only allowed one.
275
00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:53,960
She scoffs,
Exhales
276
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:55,160
What happened to you, kath?
277
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:58,000
You used to be a vampire
Filled with pride and dignity,
278
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:01,000
And now you're just...
Swimming around in your own squalor.
279
00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:04,960
Yeah, well...
280
00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:07,640
..It's not been easy, all right?
281
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:08,960
I don't doubt that, but...
282
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:10,800
Look, you'll never be able
To move forward,
283
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:14,800
Unless you clean up in here
And... In here.
284
00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:19,960
Look, I spent
A lot of the last 25 years
285
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,960
Full of rage at what you did to me.
286
00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:24,960
You know,
Moving from place to place,
287
00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:25,960
Living in the gutter...
288
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,960
..Becoming the monster
You turned me into.
289
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:32,960
But when I finally accepted
Who I was,
290
00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:34,960
I brought my faith
Back into my life and...
291
00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:37,960
..Came to a better understanding
Of the world.
292
00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:41,960
You can live a good afterlife
As a vampire, kath, trust me.
293
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:43,960
I don't know if I know how, rish.
294
00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:47,640
It's just been such a long time.
295
00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:50,960
I know, kath.
296
00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:53,960
I know.
297
00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:56,960
He exhales
298
00:15:56,960 --> 00:16:00,000
I can feel a 150 years of stress
In these bones.
299
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,960
She exhales
300
00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:06,960
But... We can make a start
At breaking that down.
301
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:09,000
How?
302
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:11,960
You ever heard of the tantra?
303
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:14,960
The thing that sting does?
304
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:18,960
Well, yeah, but...
He clears throat
305
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:22,320
..Much deeper than that.
306
00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:32,960
There it goes.
307
00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:34,960
It's ok?
Beautiful. I'll see you in a sec.
308
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:35,960
You're gonna...
Yeah.
309
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:37,960
..Say "Hi".
Amrita chuckles
310
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:42,960
Sat sri akal.
Sat sri akal.
311
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,320
Sat sri akal.
Speaks own language
312
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:47,960
Bless you.
313
00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:51,960
Is the food ok?
Everything all right?
314
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:54,800
Yeah, fine. It's good, thanks.
Do you guys want anything else?
315
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:55,960
I'm good, thanks.
Ok.
316
00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:01,960
I'll be back in a sec.
317
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:08,480
Dracula tuxedo? Really?
318
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,160
You could've worn a turban
Or a durag at least.
319
00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:12,480
You're meant to be
My sikh boyfriend.
320
00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:13,960
Is he here yet?
She sighs
321
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:14,960
No, not yet.
322
00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,960
But thanks for coming.
323
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,160
It means a lot to me.
324
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:25,960
Oh, my god. Abhijeet, you came!
325
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:28,960
Mum, dad, gurinder auntie,
Sakshi auntie,
326
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,000
Raminder auntie,
Harbhajan uncle,
327
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,960
You've got to meet
Amrita's boyfriend.
328
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:34,960
He chuckles
As-salam...
329
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:37,960
They laugh nervously
Er, yeah... Sat sri akal.
330
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:41,960
Hai, amrita.
We thought you'd never find a man.
331
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:45,960
Kinna sohna munda.
Kitta se punjabi bolti ho?
332
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:49,160
Er...
Sing-song: mundian to bach ke...
333
00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:50,960
A little skinny, isn't he?
334
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:53,640
Er...
Bring the man some samosa.
335
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:55,320
Don't worry,
We'll put some colour in you.
336
00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:56,960
Fix your colour.
337
00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:59,960
Speaks own language
338
00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:02,000
Oh, don't tell me
You can't handle your spice.
339
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,960
No, spice is fine,
It's just the garlic.
340
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:07,320
Sorry to interrupt,
That is a lovely turban.
341
00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:12,960
Sim. Hey, sis,
It's time for our dance.
342
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:14,960
What? No-one's finished
Their dinner yet.
343
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:18,960
Dj! Let's go, come on.
Amrita.
344
00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:19,960
Why are we doing it now?
Sim scoffs
345
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:21,960
Dj: ok, ladies and gents.
346
00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:24,960
Let's put our hands together
For the beautiful bride
347
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:27,960
And the bridesmaids.
348
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:30,960
Music: 'punjabi mutiyaran'
By jasmine sandlas and shehzad deol
349
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:44,640
Ah, she knows I love this song.
350
00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:46,800
Oh, frank,
You promised you wouldn't come here.
351
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:49,960
Ah, come on, bru.
It's a classic shah rukh khan move.
352
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:52,000
There's no way
She won't fall head over heels
353
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,960
When she sees
My "Changing the light bulb".
354
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:06,320
Applause
Whoo!
355
00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:08,960
Whoo!
356
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:11,960
Whoa...
Hey!
357
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:16,960
Shit.
Who's the gora, abhijeet?
358
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:18,960
Amrita's boyfriend, frank.
359
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:20,960
He means friend... Friend, dad.
360
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,960
Abhijeet here
Is obviously my boyfriend.
361
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:25,960
You can stop the act, darling.
362
00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:27,960
Aise pyaar kartay.
Amrita?
363
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:31,960
I think our gora friend's confused.
I'm amrita's real boyfriend.
364
00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:33,960
Yeah.
I'm not a gora, all right?
365
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:34,960
I'm even converting to sikhism.
366
00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:36,960
It's just I can't quite grow
The beard yet.
367
00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:38,960
Frank, will you just shut up?
No, you shut up.
368
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,960
Come here.
Just stop it, all right?
369
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:42,960
Just stop! Stop it.
370
00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:46,960
Frank is not my boyfriend, and...
371
00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:49,640
..Abhijeet here...
372
00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:51,160
Abdulla here
Is not my boyfriend either.
373
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:54,960
Amrita, you're embarrassing us.
374
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:57,960
I don't care, dad. I don't care.
375
00:19:57,960 --> 00:19:59,960
I am sick and tired
Of living my life for other people.
376
00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:01,960
Guests murmuring
377
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:03,960
I didn't want this
To come out like this...
378
00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:05,960
..But here it goes.
379
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:08,960
I'm leaving for...
Oi, oi, oi, listen up, yeah?
380
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:09,960
Crowd gasps
381
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:12,480
I dunno if you've got to the part
Where the guy's like,
382
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:13,960
"Speak now
Or forever hold your tings,"
383
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:16,960
But man's got bare objections
To this marriage.
384
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:18,960
Abdulla and khadija
Cannot get married
385
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:19,960
Under any circumstances.
386
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:20,960
Shafi, what are you doing?
387
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:22,960
Can't you tell
This is a sikh wedding?
388
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:24,960
Or are you as racist
As you are thick?
389
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:26,320
Give me that mic.
Give me the mic.
390
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:28,960
Crowd gasps,
They grunt
391
00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:32,960
I'm trying to save you.
I don't need saving.
392
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:38,960
Music plays,
They grunt
393
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:45,960
Brev.
394
00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:48,960
Get off me, brev.
Abdulla snarls
395
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:52,960
Agh!
Gasps
396
00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:57,960
Brev!
397
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:17,960
Abs, abs. Abs, abs, come on.
What?
398
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:19,960
Abdulla, come with me.
399
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:24,320
Abs, we've got to go. Let's go.
Agh. Agh!
400
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:33,640
I knew it. Agh!
401
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:35,800
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