All language subtitles for CornerStore.2011.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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[whirring]

[man] Shotown Pictures.

-♪ [funk]
-Oh, Lord.

♪ This is a story
about a famous dog ♪

♪ For the dog that
chases its tail ♪

♪ He will be dizzy

♪ It's a dancin' dog

♪ Street dog,
harmonic dog ♪

♪ Dogs of the world unite

♪ Street dog,
house dog ♪

♪ Harmonic dog

♪ Funkyard dog

♪ Dirty, nasty,
hutchy dog ♪

-♪ Dog
-♪ Atomic dog

♪ Atomic dog

♪ Like the boys
when you're walkin' ♪

-♪ Down the street
-♪ When you're out there

♪ Walkin' the street

-♪ They can't compete
-♪ Can't compete

♪ Talkin' 'bout
the dog in ya ♪

-♪ With the dog in ya
-♪ Bow-wow-wow

♪ Yippie-yo-yippie-yay

♪ Bow-wow-
yippie-yo-yippie-yay ♪

♪ Bow-wow-wow-
yippie-yo-yippie-yay ♪

♪ Bow-wow-
yippie-yo-yippie-yay ♪

-♪ Like the boys when you're
-♪ A top dog

-♪ Walkin' down the street
-♪ In an automatic society

-♪ I ain't your average
-♪ They can't compete

-♪ Huckleberry hound
-♪ Nothin' but the dog in ya

-♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh
-♪ Why must I feel like that

[boy] Huh, bam!

That's right,
y'all fools can't faze me.

Give me my money.

[both] Man!

I was so close.

-I wasn't.
-Ha!

[Mykell] Clean this mess up,
my mama come out.

Mykell, I need you to
run down to the store for me.

What for Momma?

I need a loaf of bread
and two loose cigarettes.

Now.

Take this money and get
your rusty behind in gear.

All right. Dang.

When are you gonna get
that bucket fixed, anyway?

When I can afford to.

But in the meantime,
I got you.

Now hurry back,

unless you like
cold eggs and grits.

[giggling]

Get on outta here.

[Mykell]
As long as I can remember,

the corner store
has always been there.

Every neighborhood's got one.

They sell everything
from pop and chips,

to medicine, lottery tickets
and newspapers.

I remember how grown up
I felt the first time

Momma let me make
the trip, solo.

-Yeah, that's Mykell.
-I swear that's him.

-Yeah, that is him, man!
-Hey, little punk!

I know you stole my iPod,
little boy.

Man, whatever.
My dad found that!

That's why you flunked
first grade.

Boy, who you talkin' to?

You let him talk to you like
that? You better get him!

-[grunting]
-You throw like a girl!

Man, shut up, man! I'm surprised
he didn't catch it.

-You know he like rocks
like his daddy!
-You suck, man.

[Mykell] You see everybody from
the 'hood coming and going.

Morning, Miss Johnson.

Good morning, baby.

-How you been doing?
-Good.

-How's ya momma?
-She okay.

All right, tell her I wanna
use you on my taxes next year.

[Mykell] A lot can happen
on the corner.

This is a story of one day
on the corner 'round my way.

♪ [R&B]

-[phone ringing]
-[beeping]

[Gerard] This is
the Jenkins' residence,

home of Earl, Gerard--

[Gail]
And of course, me, Gail.

We're currently unavailable
to take your call

so please leave a brief--

[Gerard]
And I mean brief message--

[both]
and we'll get back to you.

-There he is, here he comes!
-Oh, my God!

-[cameras clicking]
-[chattering]

Hey what's up, hi!

Let me get through.

-[cheering]
-[hooting]

-Could you sign this?
-Oh why sure, I sure can.

[phone ringing]

Hold the flash son,
hold the flash everyone--

-Sir, you have a call.
-[phone ringing]

-[cheering]
-[cameras clicking]

[beeping]

G, pick up the phone,
it's me, Gail.

-No, no, no, not today!
-G, pick up.

I called your cell like
nine times,

I need you to cover for me.

all right, hey, I'm on
my way to Cedar Point,

so good lookin' out,
baby bro.

Oh, and happy birthday,
Big Head.

-You know I didn't forget--
-[phone beeps]

-Hello, Gail? Gail!
-[phone clicks]

Gail!

Man.

[phone ringing]

Hell no, take your sorry,
trifling ass to work.

Damn, I just wanted to
wish my man a happy birthday.

Hey, what's wrong with
your cellphone?

-I called you.
-Sorry, babe.

-I left my phone in my room.
-Well, you know what?

After I'm done with this,
how 'bout I freshen up

and come over there, you can
tell me all about it later?

[lips smacking]

[laughs] Bye.

[man] Look at this fool
right here.

[woman]
Something's wrong with him.

[man] Loser.

-Sorry.
-Where's Gail?

I thought she worked weekends!

You and me both, kid,
she bailed on me.

Man, I've been here
for 15 minutes.

My mom is goin' kill me,
and if she kills me,

I'ma kill you!

I was about to walk down
to the Ay-rab store.

What's wrong with Choi's?

We owe him $10 already.

You oughta be ashamed
of yo'self.

Right on.

See, boy, you know,
you over a half an hour late.

-Mm!
-Now,

you wouldn't wanna know

what I did to my hoes
when they was late.

[chuckles] Boy, he
still talkin' about hoes.

The only hoes we ever
seen you wit

is the hoes in the bottom of
them shoe!

I'm lyin', I'm lyin' huh?

Pick your foot up,
lift it up, lift it up, man.

-[laughing]
-Go on, see?

Listen, young blood, what
we tryin' to tell you, man,

is show some pride.

Yo daddy's tryin' to build
a legacy, man!

Hold on, at least I got
a job to be late for.

Gerard, I've been coming to
this store

for about 23 years now.

And not one time
has your daddy ever

opened up the store
this damn late.

It's a shame how you actin'.

Open the doggone door up,
Chris Brown.

Lookin' like Alicia Keys
with a mustache.

[smooth jazz]

Look here, Kanye North,

now how much you say
that was again?

Jim, all three of y'all
come here everyday

and buy one of three things.

Wild Irish Rose,

Mad Dog 20/20,

or Boone's Farm Strawberry.

$2.65, come on.

You ain't said nothing
but a word, I got my--

You got your money?
Let me-- Where your money at?

Got mine, playa.

-I've got 40 cents, baby.
-Where your money at, Kato?

-Right here, baby.
-You got 40. That's all you got?

-Damn.
-[door chimes]

There's my baby
right there, huh?

God is good all the time.

-Baby!
-Hey, baby.

[Jim]
You right on time, baby.

I'm always on time.

What, you went to Bell Isle
and got these bottles?

Come on, baby, I've been
selling mine to Bell Isle.

-What?
-Hello. I'm your pusher, baby!

[laughing]

Mm-mm-mm.
How you doin', Miss Johnson?

Good morning to you, sweetie.

All right, 23 bottles,
Miss Johnson.

$2.30 just for you.

Now, hold on,
hold on, baby,

you ain't gonna do nothin'
but lose this, okay?

Let me hold onto this,
all right?

I ain't goin' do nothin'
but lose my damn mind

if I don't get that hot
cheese popcorn I want.

-Well go and--
-That's all I want.

-Go on and get 'em.
-All right.

Baby, let me, um-- Why don't you
grab me somethin' back here?

Yeah, I'll grab you somethin'.

A 40-ounce of mouthwash.

[laughing]

See if they got some breath mint
with a battery in it.

-Hey, listen, Big Jim, dog.
-Mm?

I know that that's
your girl and everything.

But your girl is a trip.

Hold on, Miss Johnson
don't bother nobody,

unlike all three of y'all
just begging folks all day,

'specially you, Eddie.

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa,
hold on, home slice.

Nah, man,
we don't beg, man.

We solicit.

Instead of getting that
half a pint,

we gonna upgrade
to a full pint.

-Ah-ha!
-Oh!

There better not be
no bus tokens, Canadian,

or casino chips in here.

Man, money is money.

I suggest you get you some.

-That's right.
-[laughing]

Let's get blew out right quick.

Hey, you take it easy, like
George and Weezy, young blood.

[Kato] Yeah.

[Jim] Come on outta here,
baby!

-[door chimes]
-[door closes]

[phone ringing]

9:01, I called up there,
no answer, okay?

9:16, I called up,
no answer.

9:24, I called up,
no answer.

It's now 9:42, and you are
stone-cold busted, young lady.

-Dad, it's me.
-Huh, where Gail at?

She went to Cedar Point.

Cedar Point again?

Always something with
that sister of yours.

-You mean your daughter.
-Look, you talk to that girl,

tell her I need to
talk to her right away.

-Sure thing Pop.
-[clicking]

[dial tone]

♪ [hip hop]

Look at this brother.
What you got,

helium under that shirt?

You look like that skull
on your belt.

You look like a big
grown-up gay action figure.

♪

[Mykell] Nobody knew
where Nazario's from.

And he wasn't
the biggest dude on the block,

but everybody
was scared of him.

Well, almost everybody.

My main man, Nacho,
what's happening?

Nah, man,
that--that boy there,

that's Al Pistachio.

Hey, man,
I really dig that shirt.

What's that, paisley?

Nah, I'm just
messin' with you, man.

You know your gear
always tight, Zorro.

It's Nazario.
This is 100% silk.

What you know about that?

What, he goin' ask me
what I know about--

Hey, brother,
let me tell you something.

I wore so much silk
back in my pimpin' days,

they used to call me
Silk Worm.

More like Ringworm.

Yeah, now they just call him
Polyester.

Hey, Nazario,
dig this here, baby.

You always on
the west side.

They ain't got not one
liquor store

you can go to
in Southwest?

There is no place that
Nazario don't touch.

East Side, West Side,

your side, my side.

-Homo-cide.
-Homo-side?

Man, he said homo's side.

I don't drink
homogenized milk,

-I drink 2%.
-[Eddie] Hey, man,

that's the homo on
his side right there.

-Dig this here man.
-[door chiming]

I ain't scared of that
big sucker.

I'll knock him and
Beto's ass out.

Why you over here
whispering it to me then?

'Cause my throat hurt.

[Jim] What size is
that shirt, it's medium?

[Eddie] [chuckles]
You look like a Avatar fetus.

Hola, Negrito.

Oh, Nazario.

♪

Nazario, what's up, man?

Hey, I like that piece you
did on the side of Lou's,

that was dope.

Gracias, amigo.

But the damn CD's
covering up all my art.

What?

-They just covered up
that one, too.

No way.
That's too bad, man.

Where's Gail?

She blew off work
to go to Cedar Point.

I swear that girl is
one of a kind.

Yeah, she is, man, but um,
hey, what can I do for you?

You want a Slurpee, or some
chips or something, what's up?

Well, your sissy and I
got a little deal going.

Sometimes,
she babysit for me.

Aw, man,
I didn't know you had a kid.

I got three kids, but
I'm talking about loot,

not shorties.

I'm meeting somebody
near here later

about some birds.

-Birds?
-Yeah, birds.

So, I need you to hold onto
these ten G's for me.

Oh, oh, oh, man.
Ten grand.

Those must be
some exotic parrots.

Yeah, the all white kind.

Um...

Nazario,
I'd like to help you,

but I really--

But my ass!

Don't tell me your sister
got more huevosthan you.

All right, just this once,
Nazario.

Where's Derrick?

He usually posts it up in here
like a damn scarecrow.

Around, I guess, I don't know,
you know him.

When you see him,
you tell him,

we got some
unfinished business.

Yeah, sure thing.

I'm feeling lucky today.

Gimme 10 scratch-offs,
I might win some millions.

No problem.

♪

Well, if it ain't
Malcolm X, Y, and Z.

Yo, Ray, baby,
what's happening?

Look at my man, brother's
bean pies and bow ties, huh?

I'll gladly pay you Tuesday,

for one of them fat-ass
bean pies today [laughs]!

Maybe Jesus works on credit,

but the Prophet Muhammad's
blessings are cash and carry.

Hey, man, ain't nobody
trying to hear that

in the middle of
the street shit!

Now you keep talking, man,

I'm gonna call
homeland security

on your militant ass.

Yeah, and don't think 'cause
Obama in the White House

they won't ship yo ass back
to Guantanamo Bay. [laughs]

-On the house.
-Gracias.

♪

[door chiming]

Watch out!

Phony-ass Farrakhan.

[laughing]

[door chiming]

As-salamu alaykum,
Brother G.

Rasheed, what's up, man?

Special delivery from
Sister Shabazz's Bakery.

-Mm.
-Mm-hm.

-Smells good.
-Oh, yeah.

Hey, man,
what do we owe you?

$20.

We take Founding Fathers
in every denomination,

checks, money orders,
promissory notes

and credit cards.

You know what?
It's early, I'm low on change.

Come back later
and I'll hook you up.

Hey, no worries, just take care
of me later, cousin.

See, the bean pie is
nature's secret weapon.

-Uh-hmm.
-Mm-hm,

screw that Holly Dadison,

Little Betty and them
Beebler Elves.

Right on.
You know what?

I always thought
Willy Wonka shoulda been

black and from Detroit,

Who else wears a purple coat
and a top hat, you know?

Straight pimp gear.

And pimpin' is what
the snack food companies

do to our communities!

Take this honey bar,
for a example.

See, what they don't
tell you is,

this thing is
loaded with pork.

No way. Word?

Riboflavin, mono nitrate,
shorteners.

This thing is loaded with
pork and swine byproduct.

I'll straighten that out
for you, cuz.

-Yeah man you shoulda seen--
-Now she don't got to work.

[indistinct chatter]

Oh man,
somebody's up here!

Look at this fool, man.

He must need to
borrow some money,

got his hands all deep
in his pockets like that.

Nah, you know what?
I done heard about

being on your knuckles.

Damn, he's down to
the white meat.

[laughing]

Well, if it ain't my
favorite rap group, BWA,

Bums With Attitude.
What, y'all on tour?

Yo, Derrick, what's up
with that 20 you owe me?

Fool, you wish you ever owned
a 20 for me to owe you.

You better wake up and
smell the garbage, man.

Come on, brother,
now you know good and well

I had the Lakers
and Kobe did his thing.

Man, it was a good game.

See now, clearly,
your view from the alley

must be gettin' real dim,

'cause LA lost 98-91, fool,

and you ain't bet on
the game, no way.

Yo, man, what's the line on
tonight's game?

[Derrick] Laker's by five.
Why, man?

Because, man,
I wanna make sure that

my bet go through
this time.

Put me down for five, please?

Damn!
Who you get this five from,

Abe Lincoln himself?

Look like you been making
love to this five, man.

Look, man, you should
see what do with 20s.

-[scoffing]
-Now, if you don't like it,

you can always
give it back, D.

Where the hell you get
some money from?

You been cryin' broke all day.

Yo momma. She probably
paid her back taxes

when she was ho'ing for me
back in the day.

See, you don't need to
worry about all that.

Uh, I'm worried, Eddie.

'Cause you still owe me $10.

Huh? And what you got on
the next bottle, anyway?

Lips and fingertips.

I got a lot of work to do, man.
Come back later,

we can kick it then,
all right?

All right, but you really
need to come to the mosque.

There's a lot of
young brothers your age

seeking knowledge of self,
man.

-Oh, yeah, I bet.
-Seriously.

-What's up my nig--
-Ah!

We buried that, remember?

Well, I just dug the nigga
back up, nig.

Anyways, like I was saying,
when these brothers--

[crunching]

When they come into
the mosque they--

[crunching]

You know...

they say skins is made
from every part of the pig.

Did you know that, bro?

But I'll save you some.

Pig balls.

I don't indulge myself in
fried flesh.

Is that right?

I just saw your black
Bishop Tutu ass

at the mall the other day,
mm-hm.

I'm sure I saw you out there

feeding that white girl a McRib.

Brother.

She's my fiancée,
she's light-skinned,

and that was a veggie burger
with extra ketchup!

-Pig toe?
-You know what?

I'll talk to you later,
cousin.

All right, Rasheed.

-Heathen.
-Phony.

As-sa love some bacon too,
my brother.

-[door chiming]
-We hookin' up pig ass

in the back!

-[door chiming]
-You crazy, man.

That clown, man,
with all that black--

Hey, Nazario came out here
looking for you earlier.

-For real?
-Yeah.

Damn!
What, he stalking me, man?

I ain't been nowhere near
southwest, dude.

Mm-hm, I told you about
dealin' with him, dog.

You're brooming on my boots,
man.

My bad. I told you about
dealing with him, dog.

Listen, listen, for real,
dude,

don't start that I-told-you,
not today.

We gonna be some fighting--

Don't start that I-told-you
today, dude.

-All right.
-I'm stressed out about this,
man.

All right, not today.

Eh, where Gail at?

-Cedar Point.
-Again?

Damn, she just went
last week!

No, that was King's Island
last week.

[scoffs] What's she riding,
the Semen Drop?

You know they got rooms
out there, right?

-Man.
-Derrick, seriously?

-I'm just telling you, bro.
-All I know is

she need to be here working
this shift and not me.

Yeah, she do need to be here.

Deal with my man.

-What up, dog?
-What's happening?

Put that away for you.

♪

Hey, where that chick at
that work here?

That cute face,
them nice "breasteses"?

[laughing]

-Oh, no.
-Man that's my sister, man.

-My bad, dog.
-$6.54, man.

♪

Oh, no, man.

[Gerard]
We don't take food stamps.

What kind of store is this?

The kind that don't take
food stamps,

little manish-ass boy.

-In this 'hood?
-In this 'hood.

-Oh, y'all are trippin'.
-Yeah, we trippin'.

-I'm goin' to Choi's.
-Yeah, you go over to Choi's.

And don't bring your little
broke ass back

-'til you get some money.
-[door chiming]

Can't stand them
little young ones.

-I can't, man.
-Man!

You gotta stop provoking
my customers, man!

-What--
-He can't buy my dad

a new door
with food stamps.

Man, my Uncle Don bought
a whole house with food stamps.

What you talking about?

And that little fool
got a point.

How in the hell is y'all
a store in the 'hood

and y'all don't sell
to food stamps?

-Listen--
-Man, that's unheard of.

-Dad is old school, man.
-Too old school.

He voted Republican in
every election since Nixon.

Yo dad ain't vote for Obama?

Man, your father ain't vote
for Obama?

Man, no.

He don't believe in
the welfare state.

Colin Powell ass-- Y'all missing
thousands of dollars a day

'cause everybody goin' across
the street to Choi's, man.

Let me worry about
what's going on over here.

You worry about what's
going on over there.

♪

Since you stuck here,
I might as well stick around

and keep your black ass
company.

Derrick that's what
you do everyday, man.

Why should my birthday
be any different?

It ain't yo birthday.

You knew it was my birthday,
man, stop playin'.

Oh, snap,
it is your birthday!

Dog, I'm taking you to
Starvin' Marvin.

I don't know, man,
Kelly and I got plans.

Probably grab something to eat,
catch a movie,

you know, the usual.

Fool, do I look like Kelly?
Don't lie to me.

Plus, I know for a fact you
still tappin' big booty Donna.

-No, I'm not.
-Oh yeah, for sure.

Don't think I'll be seeing
your car over there, right?

I'm about to squash that,
though.

For-- for--
Oh, you about, yeah.

-I am, I am, for real, man.
-[laughing]

-Yeah, right.
-Kelly's good to me, man.

Besides, I'm tired of all
them games Donna been playing.

I ain't told you,
she been trippin' lately.

-Oh, now she crazy.
-I'm serious!

First it was the crazy booty
she had,

-but now she's crazy.
-Nah, I think she is, man.

Boy, please, don't try
that boyfriend junk with me.

When I get your
Starvin' Marvin's, dude,

and I go up in there
and I see all that ass,

all them titties,
and them chicks take me

-in that red room--
-Mm-hm.

And them girls do their thing
in there--

-Mm-hm.
-When I come out there, Gerard,

I swear, it's like I just
don't have the urge to cheat.

-Oh, okay.
-It's kinda like mental therapy,
you know what I mean?

-Yeah.
-Yeah. [chuckling]

-I get it now man.
-See, yeah, that's what
I'm tryin' to tell you!

No, that's also why
you always broke.

-Broke?
-It's like all the money get--

-Fool, who you callin' broke?
-Yeah broke.

It's like all the money
you get there,

even with all your hustling
you do,

go right inside some little red
G-string man.

-You gotta chill out, man.
-Let me tell you something,
playa.

Hater, I'm from P-Rod,
dude,

and we get money over there,
playa.

-We gets money.
-Mm-hm.

-You know I'm gettin' money.
-You're gettin' money.

Yeah, I'm gettin' bread
out here, dude.

-All right.
-Better act like you know.

-All right.
-If you don't.

And I don't need nothin'
from nobody.

-Nobody, okay.
-You feel me? Nobody.

Look at me when I'm telling
you, bro, follow my lips.

-No-body.
-You don't need nothing

-from nobody.
-Nothin', nada.

-Nothing?
-Yeah, nobody.

-All right.
-But I do need to use your ride.

You know what I'm sayin'?

That's that stuff
I'm talking about.

-Aw, come on.
-Your car in shop again, huh?

You know how the foreign whip
be breaking down, man,

blowing gaskets and stuff.

It's cool though,
but I got Tyrone on it.

Tyrone the crackhead?

[wrench clicking]

[Mykell] My daddy was
known for fixing things.

All right, pump it.

[Mykell] TVs, VCRs,
lawn mowers, snowblowers.

-Pump again.
-Everything.

That's good, that's good.

Hey, tell me, boy,
how's yo momma doing?

He don't live with us anymore,
but every now and then,

Momma let him stick around
for a few days.

What's wrong with her car?

Well, I think she need brakes.

Uh, maybe it's
the catalytic converter.

But I know she need
a oil change too, boy,

need a whole lotta stuff.

All right, thanks, Poppy.

Ain't no thang but
a chicken wing, boy.

High five.
Gimme five. Hit again.

Ain't nothin' but
a little grease.

But here go.
Wanna use this rag?

Oh!

♪

[knocking]

Hey.

♪

-Hey, baby.
-Happy birthday, Big Daddy.

What you got for me?
I want to see this.

What does it look like?

-Hm, kinda heavy.
-Uh-huh.

I told you not to bother
getting me anything.

Baby, don't be ridiculous,
just open it.

Kinda heavy.
Feels like a book.

These go for big bucks on eBay.

I know, you've been
talking about it forever.

How did you get this money?
You strippin'?

Only for you, boo. [laughs]

Thank you, baby,
it is perfect.

You're welcome.

So, what time
do you get off?

Um, whenever you let me.

What are you
in the mood for?

[chuckles] You know
what I'm in the mood for.

Something extra large.

Oh, oh, wait, wait, Gerard,
you're still open, remember?

Oh, I know what I'm
about to open, hold on.

So nasty.

Let's go to the store room.

Yeah, right!

How many girls have you had
back there?

None, you'll be the first.

Okay, wait, wait.
What if your dad shows up?

My dad showin'?
That's-- Yeah, right.

Besides, it's gonna be
a quickie anyway. Come on.

-As opposed to? [laughs]
-Very funny.

[giggling]

I'm gonna drink
from a hose, brother.

[door rattling]

-Are you serious?
-Come on, man!

It's the middle of the day!

It's like 10 million degrees
out here.

Gerard, man, open up,
I know you in there, man.

Okay, wait, wait.

What if there's
customers outside?

Baby, I locked the door.
Trust me.

Nobody comes at this time
anyway.

-Okay?
-All right.

Hey, man,
what is he doing in there?

Man he probably in there
playin' with his self, man.

Aw, man, he probably in there
paintin' Kelly toenails.

You know Gerard.

He probably would do that,
man.

I don't wanna go
down the street, man.

-My knees hurt.
-Ain't nobody walking
down the street.

Gerard, man,
come on, open up!

-It's hot out here, man!
-Come on, man,

we about to make this journey.

Aw, man!

If it ain't Pinky
and the Brain.

What y'all nigga lonely-ass
over there

banging on that door
like that?

That boy can't hear you.

That boy in there
gettin' his groove on.

Y'all might as well walk y'all
monkey ass down to Choi's.

And pull your damn pants up.

Pull yo belly up.

Like you got a crackhead
in there.

Hey, that's yo momma's job,

-so it don't fall on her head.
-[laughing]

[gibberish]

Hell yeah, man,
I'd never do that,

I went down there
to gank that fool,

he end up ganking me.

-About time!
-Yeah, let me hit you back.

How long does it take your ass

to get back from
the corner store?

Baby, they was crowded
in there,

and I how many times
I gotta tell you

stop cussing
while you holding the baby!

-Damn!
-I bet you and G

were down there gossiping
like schoolgirls!

[speaking Spanish]

You miss Daddy?

You miss Daddy?

These are the wrong kind!

I said Pampers, not Huggies!

What difference does it make?
She's just shittin' in 'em,
right?

See, you're wreckin'
your own rule!

Yeah, 'cause you keep
pushin' my damn buttons!

[speaking Spanish]

-[telephone ringing]
-Aw, sh--

Oh, oh look, Na--
Here, take her.

This is Nazario,
I gotta take this.

-[speaking Spanish]
-[telephone ringing]

Hey, I'm gonna find out
what that is

you be sayin' to me too.

I'ma Google it.

What up dog, Nazario?

Where's my dinero?

I don't want to have to
paint the rest in peace

in your memory.

If you kill me,
you ain't gonna get paid.

You know I wouldn't
play with your money
like that no way,

-I got you, man.
-So, when we gonna hook up?

Uh, actually, I'ma be busy
all day today, but, um...

How's it sound like
about six o'clock?

-Where?
-At the store.

Six o'clock on the dot.

Hey, look, but check this out,

my momma saw one of your
paintings, right?

-She wanna know how--
-[phone clicks]

Hello, Nazario?

Nazario?

Damn.

What is this?

Where's the sprinkles?

♪

Uh, I bet he in there gettin'
his socks blown right now.

She ain't even got it
like that,

he probably just in
there taking a dump, bro.

Hey, I know a way we
could find out, though.

♪

You know how you're always
telling me

I should go to college?

Yeah, like all the time.
Why, what's up?

You've been thinking about it?

Well, actually, I enrolled.

-Really?
-In cooking school

in New York.

Why New York?

I mean, if you're so serious
about being a gourmet chef,

they have plenty of
culinary classes here
in Michigan.

Yeah, but it's more
five-star restaurants

than anywhere in the
world in Manhattan, babe.

I mean, people here think
fine dining is White Castles

and Coney Island.
Come on, you know.

-But New York--
-[Kelly] No,

so what I'm saying is,
what do you think about us?

-[laughing] Look at him.
-Hey, look,

it's Bobby and Whitney.
What's up?

Man, what you Jerry's kids
want, man?

And what'd I tell you about
dribbling that basketball
in the store, Corey?

-You ugly.
-All right, man,

we just got done hooping.

And it's hot as hell outside,

sell us a couple
ice-cold brews, bro.

I'm not risking my dad's
liquor license

so you little punks
can drink some beer.

[Corey] You was our age
once, cut us some slack.

Hey yo, Kelly, how you doin'?

What you need to do is
drop that zero, okay?

And you need to come
get with a hero like me,

baby girl,
you know what I'm sayin'?

[humming fanfare]
To the rescue!

Leo, can you be
any more original?

Look, I gotta go, I'm
gonna be late for class.

We'll talk about this
later, all right, baby?

No, we already
talked about it.

You obviously made
your decision,

so do what's best for you.

-Kelly, are you serious?
-Shut up.

-Kelly!
-Yeah, I'm dead serious, Gerard.

-No, there's no need
for all this.
-No, I'm tired of this!

-Wait, seriously.
-[door chiming]

And I'm not gonna answer
when you call.

Kelly, are you serious?

Baby, don't pull off.
Do not pull off!

-Uh-oh.
-Ooh,

that's the last time he
goin' see that behind.

She done turned her back
on him.

-Aw, lord, lord.
-Look at him.

♪ Looks like another
love TKO ♪

Somebody's in the doghouse.

Chill out, man.
I left the money in the slot.

Keep your head up, though.

-All right, ladies man.
-[laughing]

[door chiming]

-[laughing]
-So stupid.

♪

♪ Yeah

[Mykell] Hassan lives in
Dearborn

and works for
Better Made Chips.

But even before then,

he used to come around a lot,

either hooping down at
the courts,

or just fooling with
Gerard and Derrick.

Aw, look at Chip Chump,
the chump of all chips.

Hey, home cuz
one, two, and three,

what's crackalackin', huh?

Dearborn, loan me a dollar.

[chuckles] Yeah, let us get
a buck for luck, Chip Chump.

-[chuckling]
-Let me tell you something,

you need to get your asses
some jobs, man.

I'm not the one, so don't
test unless you want me

to wreck something,
and flex on the home cuz,
you know what I mean?

-Mutha--
-What's wrong with you guys?

You guys ever used to have
like jobs or anything, man?

I'm the world championship
fighter of the world,

I held several belts.

Oh, what titles you win,
home cuz?

WBC, the EBT, WIC champion.

My last fight, I got
robbed at the Joe Lewis.

-What's happened?
-I'm fighting, we goin',

hanging, hanging, hanging,
hanging, he hit me, all I heard

was seven, eight, nine, 10.

They didn't even give me
the first number,

they robbed me, dog,
they robbed me.

And what about you man, huh?

Didn't you sell like
Gucci belts or something?

Hey look here,
Robert Dumb Negro,

I didn't sell Gucci.
I sold coochie.

See man, I was a smooth
pimp back in my day, baby.

Oh, like prostitute.

Yeah, the police came and
messed up my whole organization.

You know what I'm sayin', man?

Right now, eh,
I'm just pimpin' midgets

'cause you know, I had
to cut down on things.

♪

-Hey.
-Hey.

Can I top that off for you?

You can do that for me,
Brenda.

-Thank you very much.
-All right.

Now, hold on. Now what is
your son calling himself now?

-X.
-X?

-Generation X.
-Generation X.

-Generation--
-Not Malcolm X,

-just Generation.
-Just Generation X.

-All right.
-What do you say?

Hey, I don't call him late
for dinner.

[laughing]

This is nice coffee.
Thank you very much.

[Brenda] Enjoy.

Generation X.

[phone ringing]

-Six Mile Express.
-Hey, son.

Hey, what's happening at
the corporate headquarters?

Uh, not much, just got some
fresh bean pies, about it.

All right, as-salamu alaykum,
and save one for me.

Oh, Tamika came by here
looking for you today.

Uh, Ta-who, what?

Tamika, Ms. Jackson's daughter
from around the corner?

Uh, I don't know no Tami--
Shamika, Tamika.

Kwanika, I don't know
none of them Mikas.

Uh, they come in there in
the store with their hot pants?

No, come on.

Yeah, yeah, whatever, but, um,
Pops, I need to talk to you.

What's goin' on?
Everything all right?

Yeah, sort of,
it's just that--

Look, can we talk about it
later?

Yeah, I guess.

I'm gonna be there
in a minute, okay?

We'll talk about it then.

Man.

♪ La-La-la-la-la

[indistinct chatter]

Tamika.

-Hey there.
-What's up?

Hey, so what we getting done
today?

Don't make me no difference
girl,

just make sure I'm lookin'
good for the party tonight.

Come on, you know that.
The usual strength?

-Yes, ma'am.
-All right.

Now, how are you?

[sighs]

Pregnant. Again.

Oh, no.

Girl, you know I know
about that all too well.

I was planning to go to
nursing school next fall.

My mom is gonna be
so disappointed.

I bet, 'cause you know
you can't depend on

these trifling-ass men
these days.

Girl, look at me.

Didn't LaBelle's father
make bail?

Yeah, stupid-ass got arrested
again only three weeks later.

How about Latrell's dad?

[chuckles] Nah,
he 'bout my daddy age,

but, mm-mm-mm.

♪

Hey, Hassan.
Hey Hassan!

Yo, Hassan!

What's up,
Blacker Than Me?

What's up, home cuz,
you all right?

-What up?
-Got my money, pay up.

All right, I know, man.

Yeah, Boston took like
dump on Detroit's chest, man.

I knew the Pistons was
gonna choke man, here.

Oh, it's all right, man.

-Straight up?
-Yeah, give me, uh--

-Cool.
-Utah over Denver.

Yeah, I got, like,
good feeling, you know?

Yeah, me too.

♪ Problems son,
I got 99 problems ♪

♪ But the bitch not one of
the problems that I have ♪

Hassan. Hassan!

Huh?

-Dude, ain't you almost 39?
-Right.

How long you gonna keep up
this whole thank-you-black-guy?

-You not black, B.
-All right.

-You from Dearborn.
-All right.

-Dearborn Heights!
-All right.

-Act Dearborn Heightish, man.
-All right, Derrick.

-You embarrassing, man.
-All right, Derrick, Derrick.

-You like-- like philosophy?
-I'm a philosopher.

All right,
the words of Rakim, man.

-Now you Rakim?
-No, no, I'm not Rakim.

I don't act hip hop,
I am hip hop.

No, you don't act crazy,
you are crazy.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

[Hassan] Yeah, open
the door for me, man.

Don't ever touch me, man.

Yeah, I tap your girl's ass,
man.

You know, I'm getting
too much money

for you to be playing
with me like that, right?

-Okay.
-Now bring your

Geraldo-looking ass in here.

[Hassan] You're like
rude, man, you know?

-[door chiming]
-Come on, man.

Look at you, your
pants on the ground, man!

You look like fool with
your pants on the ground.

Oh, damn, your feet
are huge, man!

-Stop playing with me.
-You have like Godzilla feet,
man!

Man, would you come on in
quick while I hold the door?

All right, man,
leave me alone!

-Your feet are huge, man.
-You wanna be black so bad,

why don't you bring one of
your sisters around here, man?

♪

[door chiming]

-What you want?
-I got iPods, 'Droids, Noise,

iPhones,
plus the Slim PSP.

Come on, get something.

Buying that is bad karma,
all that stolen stuff, no.

Stolen?
This stuff ain't stolen!

My dad found most of it
dumpster diving.

Tyrone? [scoffs]
Yeah right.

Come on, it's hot.
I'm thirsty for a pop.

Pop? Pop dehydrates you.
You need to drink water.

And we got a water hose
out back,

you can go turn that on
and it's free.

All you can drink.
Get outta here, Mykell.

[bell dings]

I'm trying to raise
enough money

to get my mom's ride fixed.

Come on, help me out.

All right, I'll spot you
a two dollar store credit, cool?

Two dollars?

What am I supposed
to get with two dollars?

Three dollars,
and that's my final offer.

Now get in here and grab
the broom and a dustpan.

[bags crinkling]

So, Derrick, what are you
gonna do

when G man jets to
the Big Apple, home cuz?

Man, that fool ain't goin'
nowhere.

He'll be here next month

slingin' Zig-Zags and
40-ounces, you believe that.

-[Gerard] Don't bet on it.
-[Derrick] I'd bet on it.

[Hassan] G's a grown man,
look at him, you know?

It's not up to him.

[Derrick] Why you the one
doin' all the talkin', Aladdin?

[Gerard] Listen, I don't know
what I'm gonna say to my dad,

but I know one thing,

I ain't gonna be here
slinging snacks

for the rest of my life,
family business or not.

[Hassan] All right, man,

I gave your invoice.
You're all set, man.

So when you gonna hang out?

Know what?

Let's do Artist Village
one last time.

-You want to?
-Yeah.

Let's do it.
Let's do it, man, let--

Listen. G, I wanna show you
a handshake, all right?

-Okay.
-But listen, I'ma
show you a handshake,

but don't do this handshake
everywhere, all right?

No wait, that doesn't--
Anywhere, you mean.

No, don't do it everywhere,
man.

-That doesn't make sense.
-All right, you wanna see
the handshake?

-Yeah.
-All right, all right.

Cover your eyes, man.
You're like baby.

-All right, you ready?
-Mm-hm.

All right.

Ah... ah...

Look, it's like seven.
Like Seven Mile.

You like that?

That's funny, man, 'cause
what part of Seven Mile

run through
Dearborn Heights?

Man, what is wrong with you,
man?

You look like Apollo Creed!

♪

Hey, Rasheed,
what's up, home cuz?

Don't deprive me with brevity.

The name's
Rasheed Ali Akhbar,

you wannabe.

What's wrong with you, man, huh?
This is me, man,

-it's how I talk,
I'm not acting.
-Yeah, right.

Well, what's you want
me to say to you, huh?

You want me to say, "Hello,
there, Person of Color.

-How are ya?"
-Color?

-And by the way--
-That's the worst. I'm brown.

Always gonna be brown from
the cradle to the grave.

[chuckles] What's
wrong with you man, huh?

What's wrong with you, man?
We used to be like--

like boys back in the day,
you know?

Like boys. We ain't
never been boys, Hassan.

The only reason why
we let you move with us

was because you always
chipped in on the brew.

Yeah?

Let me tell you something,
Rasheed. Huh?

You might be like, uh,
like black,

-but you're living like a whack.
-Man, whatever.

-Know what I'm saying?
-Watch your back, boy.

Man, I watch my back and
my front, home cuz. Huh?

♪ One, two, three, four

♪ Snoop Doggy Dogg
and Dr. Dre... ♪

-[slamming]
-[Derrick] Man, you a nerd,

always reading
that garbage, man.

I'm sick of all that
sword and sorcery stuff.

How come they don't never have
no black barbarians in there

like with big-ass swords
and long dreds?

Tell me that, nerd?

Yeah, you gotta admit,
the trilogy was pretty epic

in Lord of the Rings.

-Yeah, epically racist.
-Come on, now.

-Epi-what?
-Epically racist.

You know what?
Hold on, hold on, hold on.

I'm with you, Tavis.
Gandalf was the man.

-I know.
-Man, please,

all them battles and wars
they went to,

not one soldier with
a fro under his helmet?

-Right.
-Not one? That's a joke.

-I was in prison, right?
-Oh, my God.

No, listen to me,
I was locked up

and I read this article
on J.R.R. Tolkien.

You know he was
South African?

So what? You from Detroit,
that don't make you a mechanic.

-Or a criminal--
-Cousin, you not

-gettin' the point!
-Or a rapper or--

Man, why don't
the three of y'all shut up, man.

Just shut up. Listen.

Clearly, from the beginning
of time,

from the beginning of time,

science fiction
has always been racist.

You know what?

Me and Kelly went to go
see Transformers, right?

The one and only Autobot
to die was Jazz,

-the black one!
-The black one!

Even black robots can't
succeed now.

Forget all that,.
Have y'all ever noticed

that every time a black
character is in charge,

it always results into
a disaster.

-Not every time!
-Excuse me!

-Man, what?
-Man, what, man?

Man, I just need some
chocolate syrup

and some Rap Snacks, dog,
come on.

Man, down here, dog,
come on, get outta here.

Blacks can't
succeed in technology.
Take T2, for example.

-It's his fault the terminators
take over the world.

Yeah, and what about
Tiny Zeus Lister

as the president of
Fifth Element?

Yeah, and don't forget
Morgan Freeman in Deep Impact.

I get it, I get it.

They're saying if we're
in charge of running things,

that's a sure sign the world's
gonna come to an end.

-Preach.
-Obama, 2012.

-Preach!
-Uh-huh, exactly, exactly.

Man, I was reading
this one comic

about the black Green Lantern,

Mmm-- Cosmic Odyssey.

And how he destroyed
the galaxy,

I mean, when was the last time
Superman made a mistake?

-You know what I'm sayin'?
-Never because he the king

of the white devils,
that's why.

You know what? Don't even get me
started on comics.

If it wasn't for Blade
or Black Panther,

they'd still be up there with
lawn jockeys and Sambo dolls.

-Exactly.
-Yeah right, man.

And they know that black folks
and latex do not mix.

And speaking of racist,

what's up with your boy,
Hassan, huh?

-[door chiming]
-Hassan is cool, man.

-He don't do nothing to nobody.
-Hey, man, look, stop hatin',

'cause clearly, everybody know
Hassan don't bother nobody.

He bothers me though,
your brother.

And cousin,
why is your daddy buying

from a Chaldean distributor
anyway?

Strictly because
the prices are--

-Shut yo mouth.
-Whoa, wait a minute,

-we buy from everybody.
-Yeah!

Our beer and wine guy's black!

Beer and wine?
Malt liquor?

You know what's in
malt liquor, hm?

Selling that stuff is like
committing

black-on-black crime everyday.

-Is that right?
-Yeah, that's right.

Well, why don't you go
preach that to all them

middle class,
bougie-ass black kids,

and all these white folks
running around here
acting a damn fool.

Oh, but, that would be one of
Malcolm X's wet dreams, right?

See, you wrong about that.
You wrong!

-Get your finger outta my face.
-Next thing you know,

they gonna be running out here,
talking about who got

the better Beemer, Benz,
all that.

-All I know is--
-Right!

Him walking around like that
is a insult to our ancestors

and I'm sad that you brothers
cannot see that.

As-salamu alaykum.

As-sala-some-bacon too.

And yo barber got yo fro
lopsided.

And you know what, man?

-[door chiming]
-Your cuz-- Him, your cousin,

he a prime example just
a little bit of knowledge

can be
dangerous as hell, man.

-Yeah.
-Danger-ous.

-You a nerd.
-[smacking]

-Do something!
-[clattering]

♪

-Hey, baby.
-What's goin' on, baby?

You remember that tattoo
I always wanted?

-Yeah, I remember.
-Bam!

Ooh, you got it.

-[laughing]
-Follow your gut!

Baby, you losin' weight too.

-I am, thank you, baby.
-Aw, hell no.

First I gotta follow yo butt,
now I gotta follow yo gut?

How 'bout you follow
your breath to the morgue?

-[laughing]
-Swear to God,

you look like you been
drinking SlimFast

with chocolate chip cookies
in it.

You know, y'all got
a lot more stuff

than any of these other
stores around here, man.

But you know what they
have that y'all don't?

-What's that?
-They got customers.

You come in here to
mess with me, I see, huh?

No, I got some, uh--
You got change for a 20?

[Leo]
I hate Gerard, man, God!

[Corey] Man, that's a waste of
talent that she's doing.

That's a waste!
Man, look at that.

She can come over here anytime!

[birds chirping]

Hey, Dad!

How much you say it was gonna
cost to fix Mom's car again?

Huh?

Well, a new fuel line gonna
run you at least a hunnid.

But, you know,
I'll get the patch kit

to take care of the leak
for about $20.

Uh, you know,
my boy over on Log Cabin,

he got one of them
rusting on his backyard,

I can probably raid it
for parts for about $40.

New plugs ain't no thang.

Plus, she need brakes
and a oil change.

-We talkin' about $2,000, boy.
-$2,000?

But I can do it for $250.

Boy, where you get
this kind of mon--

Shh!

[chuckles] Picture us
rollin', son.

We gonna swoop out to
Belle Isle in style, boy!

We gonna get it,
look, look!

I'm gonna go get these
parts right away, okay?

I ain't goin' nowhere else,

I ain't stoppin' at
no houses or nothing,

I'm goin' straight to get
the parts.

I'ma catch you later, all right?
All right, all right.

[birds chirping]

[dog barking]

♪

[indistinct dialogue]

Mm-hm, I can't wait,
neither.

Here these fools come beggin'
again.

What y'all want, man?
Y'all ain't never got no money.

Man, that fool ain't
never got no cheddar,

he need to get up outta here.

[Woman] What is you doin',
come on, let's go.

♪ I once had a life

Where is you goin'?
What is you doin'--

Where is you--
Hold on, y'all,

he got money for real,
he do got money.

Come on back here,
where is you goin'?

Where is you goin'?

Hey, come back here!

Where is you goin'?

Oh, hey!

♪ In a book just yesterday

♪ Said, gonna reap
just what you sow ♪

♪ The debts you make
you have to pay ♪

Watch out.
I just painted that!

♪ I wanna know

♪ I wanna know if
you can get to that ♪

Is it done?

Yeah, man.

It's done.

♪ I recollect with
a-mixed emotions ♪

-Is there a problem?
-No, dog.

It's whatever.

Nazario,

you know we run
these streets.

They can't touch us.

But one day,

even you, Nazario,

gonna have to answer to
a higher power.

-♪ Can you get
-♪ I wanna know

♪ I wanna know if
you can get to that ♪

-♪ Can you get
-♪ I wanna know

Okay, what about that time
you and Beto got into it

and he slapped yo ass so hard,
everybody thought he shot you

and Miss Johnson
called the police?

Who stood out there with you
'til you woke up?

-Me.
-Fellas.

You had a print on your face
for about two weeks.

What's happenin'?

-I knew I smelled garlic.
-Garlic, huh?

-Yeah, garlic.
-That's weird.

All I smell is
your mom's perfume.

Now there you go,
Karate Kid,

mouth writing a check your
li'l yellow-ass can't cash.

Hey, KJ, man, don't tell me
you here for change.

I'm low on everything,
got nothin'.

Oh, no, no, I'm on lunch
right now.

Yeah, but uh...

where's Gail?

-[chuckling]
-What?

Man, not you too, man.

No, no, I just need
her advice. Girl troubles.

-We all do.
-Yeah, yeah, but, uh--
Yo, yo, Rick.

-What?
-Do you have any smoke?

Man, how many times
I gotta tell you,

stop coming to me
like that in public, dude.

-I'm on probation.
-All right, all right,

look, look, there's nobody
here but us, all right?

And I keep telling you that,
listen,

I don't mess around no more.

Now unless you got
a hunch on a game,

leave me the hell alone, boy.

Do you know how it feel

to be embarrassed
on national TV, huh?

[Judge Mathis]
Why in the world would you try

and cross the border with
12 ounces of marijuana?

You know you're lucky
the Detroit police got you

instead of the Feds.

You know, customs?
That's Feds.

Hey man, look I'ma tell you
just like I told them.

That was my momma weed.
Her medical marijuana.

And to tell you the truth,
I really don't appreciate

having to bring up me and
my momma's business

in your courtroom, dog.

-Dog?
-Yeah.

You better address me
correctly.

I'm not one of yo boys
out on the street.

-Man, whatever.
-You need to act like a man.

-Man up.
-Hey, man, I'ma tell you
like this.

You clearly not about to be
talking to me like I'm a kid,

'cause I am a man.

-What I'm about to do
is lock you up.
-What?

-Then we'll see how much
of a man you are.
-Why?

-Wow.
-When they put
that lipstick on you.

-I doubt it.
-And have you
carryin' a purse.

I doubt that, man.

I'ma tell you like this,
I'm from the streets, man.

Yeah, and I'm from
the same streets you from.

Yeah, and what you
supposed to be doing, man?

Oh, I'm suppose to be
scared of you or something?

-Get him outta here.
-Please believe that.

-Get him outta here.
-Yeah, get me outta here.

Now hold up, baby, I got a
heart murmur, man, hold on.

Do you know what it feel
like to watch a rerun

of me getting dissed on TV
like that, man?

[Derrick on TV]
Hey, hold up, man.

those are my glasses, man,
them cost 1,000!

Hey, look here, man,
come on, man, I was just--

Look, man, you scuffing
up my gator boots, man!

-[laughing]
-Hey look, man!
Hey hold on--

What you laughin' at, man?

And I been meaning to ask you,

what kinda Asian are you, man?

They got 50 Starvin' Marvins
in the 'hood,

you ain't got
one beauty supply.

-You a joke!
-You know what?

You know, just forget
the weed then, but uh...

Yo, you remember those
brownies we used to get?

Oh yeah.
What happened to those?

Man, I heard
the spot's back on.

-They back poppin'?
-They back poppin', yeah, um--

-Whoo.
-Yeah, man.

Yeah, you guys
wanna go score some then--

Hell, yeah, let's go.

And then grab some lunch
at the Kung Food, right?

Chinese food does sound good,
but...

you gonna eat brownies first,
then Chinese food?

Oh, man, they're that good,
man.

-Dude, they're cold.
-Trust me.

And why y'all so pressed
about these damn brownies?

'Cause they that good, man!

Man, these brownies will
change your life, dude.

♪

All right, guys, listen, if...

I'm not back in 10 minutes,

tell my mom I love her.

KJ, hurry up, 20 minutes.

And I always tell your mom
I love her anyway.

[KJ] Whatever.

[Derrick] What a joke.

[Gerard] Man,
I shouldn't have came.

Man, shut up, Gerard,

it's gonna be worth the wait,
trust me.

[Gerard]
My dad gonna kill me.

[Derrick]
Oh, my goodness, my dad.

Hell, yeah. That's what
I'm talkin' about, man.

Wait...

Whoa!

-[chuckles] I told you, boy.
-Look at those nuts.

Yo, Derrick's mom knows about
deez nuts right here, man.

Hey, dude, you got one more
momma joke, like straight up.

-Come on, man.
-You better not even say

-momma around me, dog.
-[chuckling]

Here, take a piece, man.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

-I'll take a little piece
-I'm tell you--

of that too, man.

-Mm...
-[chuckling]

Tasty.

And, and why are these nuts
so big?

You sound like KJ momma
over there, man.

Hey, hey, come on, man,
don't talk about

-my momma like that.
-[chuckling]

That's not right.
She's a nice lady, all right?

Mm-mm, she real nice.

Mm!

[Derrick] Hey, yo, what
are you back there doing

-to that brownie, man?
-Mm!

Oh, you havin'
a moment, man.

You need some privacy?

[Derrick] Damn!

Y'all look like two
Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders.

I don't even know which
one y'all to talk to.

[KJ] Dude come on man,
stop it, stop it.

-Hey, we here playin'--
-[KJ] Hey, Derrick...

-What is your--
-Will you stop, man?

-Will you stop?
-Hey, dude, listen, man.

-What?
-Did y'all see them girls--

We gonna get pulled over, man!

-Look--
-I can't believe y'all
just did that, dog?

What you mean can't believe?
I look like a damn hostage
in here, man!

Two blacks with an Asian
is probable cause, all right?

Man, y'all just hated on me
like that, dog?

-I'm not hatin' on anybody.
-Hey, man, you know what?

I just thought about it.
Frank got a party today, dog.

And we supposed to be there
anyway.

♪

[indistinct chatter]

Hey, they're almost done.

-Oh, baby, look who's here!
-Hey, guys!

-My man, Derrick.
-Hi, baby.

Gerard!

You're that Chinese kid
from the store.

You know what,
I'm Korean, all right?

What part of China is that?

You know what, if you guys
are hungry, we got hot dogs

and everything over here
for you to eat.

That's right, my baby got us
some ribs,

and we got some dogs.

And when I say dogs,

I'm talkin' about
the hot kind,

not the barking kind.
[barks]

-Not in America.
-Frank, Frank,

-he Korean, they eat cats
-[laughs].

-Come on, man.
-Niecee eat cat too.

-Hey, hey, hey, hey.
-Frank, didn't I tell you--

You know what?
Any race that eat chitlins

really should just not go there.

Can y'all translate that
for me?

Hey, hey, yo, Frank,
we'd love to have fun

with everybody,
but I gotta go.

-Yo, we gotta go.
-We gotta get back.

Man, you ain't goin'
nowhere, quit playin'.

Look, I gotta introduce you
to some people.

[KJ] Can you believe that guy?

What a racist thing to say, man.

Man, look, I keep telling you
about your smart mouth.

You see any Asians back here?
This a black barbecue.

You lucky you ain't get shot
just coming back here.

You're not tough,
you not Jackie Chan,

and you look like
a soft Bruce Lee.

-Oh, that's a gift.
-Yeah, it's Niecee's.

You know, today is
my birthday too.

What?

-Hey.
-Hey, Choi Boy.

Hi, well, hey,
my name's Kim, actually.

Kim, that's a girl's name.

Well, no, see, in my culture,
uh, last name's first.

So, my full name is
Kim Jung Choi, and--

So what, you're Filipino
or something?

-Uh, no, actually--
-Chinese?

No, no,
I'm actually Korean,

-and, uh, yeah.
-You know,

without all that glass
between us,

you're kinda cute.

Well, thank you, very much.

You got a girlfriend?

Oh, kinda. We've been
having some problems.

Gotta deal with that,
you know, sometimes.

Oh, well, you should
give me your number.

I got all of Jet Li's movies
on DVD.

Congrats to the missus,
but like I said earlier--

-Yeah, we gotta go--
-You sure you don't want
a plate?

Man, take it all.

-We got plenty around--
-Whoa!

[Derrick] No, no, no, no,
we good.

-We, we good.
-We good.

[Derrick] Thanks,
thanks a lot, though.

-I'm not goin' eat it.
-You know what?

You better eat it.

I ain't make all this food
for nothing.

Well, thanks for coming by,
guys.

-All right.
-You know what?

-Yeah, see y'all later, bye.
-Y'all take care.

Stop playin' with that.

-Wear a vest.
-What's that?

[Derrick] I said,
"You got my best."

-Just lookin' out, man.
-Oh, fo' sho.

-Bye guys!
-Throw this stuff away.

♪

[KJ] Let's go in,
come on, go on.

Oh, great.

[Derrick]
Act like it's stupid.

There's a line.

I thought you said this place
is, uh...

is Chinese.

Naw, man, it's Korean.
We gettin' Korean food.

What does it matter, man?
They all eat rice.

Y'all eat anything,
as long as it's fried.

Aw, hell no, man!
Here come Nazar--

Quit looking, man.
He comin' this way.

Damn, I knew I shouldn't
have came here with y'all.

I thought y'all was good.

I'm still working on it, man.

Evidently, I'm not finished.

Yeah, we need to hurry up
and get out of here.

-Yeah, yeah, I guess so, man.
-What you gettin'?

I'm gettin' the hell
out of here, if you go ahead.

-Hey.
-What you like to order?

All right,
I will definitely have

the seasoned fried chicken,

grilled chicken breast
with Teriyaki sauce,

grilled chicken breast--

Beto, hurry up, come on!

-The marinated chicken--
-[door clattering]

And the sliced spicy chicken,
please.

Damn, you fine.
Hey, Nazario, what you doing?

I was not expecting to
see you until six o'clock.

Oh, now, you know
them fools,

I just came here
to eat with them.

They always hungry,
you know what I'm sayin'?

But what you doing here?

I'm here to bless this place
with another one of my murals.

Oh, yeah,
I heard you be paint--

I saw one of your paintings
downtown.

Now, you got a gift,
you know that?

Kelly got me on
a special diet.

No meat or dairy.

It's supposed to
clean out your system.

Man, you whipped.

Anyway, how much you owe
Nazario?

-Nothing, like five, man.
-Damn, five dollars?

-Got you on that.
-No, no, no,

it's a little bit more
than that.

Five hunnid dollars?

-Damn, man.
-No, no, no,

it's a little bit more
than that, man.

$5,000?

-Yo!
-Calm down!

-What's up, man?
-You owe Nazario $5,000?

[Derrick] Calm down, man!
Yo, relax!

-You owe him $5,000?
-Chill out dude, chill out, man.

-He over there right now.
-All right, all right, cool.

-I'm cool, I'm all right.
-Let's get some food.

-Look, I'm hungry.
-All right, we gotta

-get outta here anyway, okay?
-Exactly.

I'm ready, I'm sorry about
the holdup.

I'll take mixed vegetables,
steamed rice,

and bean curd,
bean curd is good.

Man, did you just order
some turds?

No, I said curd, as in tofu.

Everybody get their punk asses

-on the floor right now!
-[woman screams]

[man] Get down!

Get on down.

Down!

-Dow--
-No.

No?

No, I can't let you
rob this place, man.

These are good people.

Do I look like I care?
Down!

Run the register, Mama San,
come on!

Okay, okay.

-Hurry up, down!
-Besides, man,

everybody in here seen yo face.

That's a whole lot of
witnesses, dog.

I got a whole lotta bullets,
dog.

-[rifle cocks]
-Hey, you go, now!

♪

I say, what the fuck?
Who you think you is,

-Super Negro?
-Come on, man.

You just almost got shot in
your mouth.

What's wrong with you?

Thank you very much.

We got robbed two times
this week.

-No problem. I saved the day.
-What's wrong with you?

-You ain't save nothing, man.
-Oh, look,

that was just crazy, man.

-Here.
-Thank you.

You just almost got us shot,
man.

[Mrs. Kwan]
And two more.

Oh, can I have some soy sauce?

Yes.

-Free soy sauce--
-Twenty-five cents, please.

♪

♪ You made my day

♪ You came my way

♪ You put a smile
upon my face ♪

♪ You brought the sunshine

♪ You brought the sunshine ♪

♪ In my life ♪

♪ You are the lifeline

♪ You are the lifeline

♪ You brought the sunshine

-♪ Saved my life
-♪ You are...

[Gerard]
These are weed brownies?

[KJ] Naw, man, it's not just
any weed brownie.

[Derrick] Hey, those are
medical brownies, medical.

-[laughing]
-[Gerard] I can believe,

-I'll be high at work!
-[Derrick] Oh, well you about

-to spoil my high.
-[Gerard] My daddy

-gonna kill me, man!
-Aw, no, you'll be fine.

[people chattering]

♪

Gimme 962, 50/50.

Put my lottery in right now!

What up, dog?
Hey, gimme 1016, 1 and 1.

810, 734, 50/50, what's up?

Yeah, I wanna buy
a lotto ticket.

Yeah, man,

got it all figured out
this time, figured out!

Come on, man, you about to
make me miss Judge Mathis.

Listen, 313, 50/50.

And 1016, 1 and 1,
and man, put some luck on it

'cause I need it, baby,
I'm hurtin' right now.

So play me and momma's
numbers now, right now!

You want me to whoop you?

This is what we do,

this is just the evening,
this is just the evening.

The first 40 of these,
I wanna do 50/50.

By the way, what was
yesterday's number?

What?

Man, you know that's my son's
birthday.

Why you didn't tell me?
You know I usually play that!

Where's Gail at?

Man, 'cause I don't want you
taking my numbers, Gerard,

'cause you know what?

I'm about two seconds from
coming behind that window,

and you know what?

Do you think I'm funny
or something?

You know, I left my money
on the dresser.

I'll be right back.

Twenty minutes my ass.

Hey!

What's so damn funny,
Rae Dawn Chong?

See, that's why you're
not getting none of my

bomb-ass brownies, straight
from the East side, man.

KJ, now look, man, I was
joking, those were jokes.

K-man, look man, that
was a joke, I'm sorry.

Look, man,
you promised, man!

Look, I'm hollin'.
KJ, I'm sorry.

-Man.
-Man, what happened

to all them dogs y'all
had at your house, man?

You know what?
I ate 'em!

I knew they wasn't your
fam dogs.

Is that what you wanna hear,
man? Screw y'all.

-KJ!
-Naw, you're not gettin'

-none of it, no.
-KJ!

I knew they was eatin'
the dogs.

Why'd you do that, Big Jim?
KJ!

Ain't no chicken tender
supposed to be that big.

-[phone ringing]
-Six Mile Express.

Dude, why weren't you
answering the phone?

I've been calling you
like nine times!

It's busy here.
Where are you?

We're almost there.

Wait, you mean to tell me
you're not even there yet?

Dude, we're almost there,
seriously, 10 minutes, okay?

And yo, Gail, what's up
with you and Nazario?

What?

Don't worry about me
and Nazario, okay?

That's my business.

We'll, your business
just became my business.

Who's gonna cover your ass

when I'm off learning
to burn like a pro, huh?

You know what?

I knew I shouldn't have never
let your ass

use my EZ Bake Oven.

Grow up, Gail, please.

G, you breakin' up.

Hey, we're about
ready for our rest stop.

Down, boy,
it's my brother.

G, you there?

Yeah, work that stick.

[laughing]

♪

Man, this is the best
Chinese food ever.

Hey, Bugs Dummy,
how should you know,

you got a garden
on your plate.

-[metallic clattering]
-[door chiming]

Don't have me come down there!

Gerard, that was some
smooth operating

down in Mrs. Kwan's.

Oh, thanks Nazario.

'Course, I was this close to
unleashing the beast on him.

-Hm.
-But you don't wanna

wake up "Godzeela."

Oh, no, not at all.
[chuckles]

My bread?

Oh, yeah, I got your money
right down here.

You know what, Nazario?

[chuckles] I don't even know
how I forgot about this.

See, I had left, right?

For, you know,
20 minutes for lunch,

and I put your, um-- I put
your money in a drop box,

you know, because I didn't
want the place to get robbed.

Because what I look like,
you know,

having this place get robbed,

then your 10,000 is gone,
then I owe you $10,000.

You know what I'm sayin'?

So, undrop it,
vamonos.

See, um...

I personally can't undrop it
because...

my dad and Gail
are the only people

with the code to
the drop box, so...

come back in a couple hours
and I'ma have your bread.

Just remember, G,

like those kids
told that bunny,

tricks are for kids.

Oh, yeah, I seen that
commercial.

I'll see you at six o'clock.

Okay.

And you too, Derrick.

Yep, at six o'clock,
I'll be there.

You said six o'clock.

That's the time I'll be there.

You owe this guy $10,000, man?

Dog, what we goin' do, man?

-What we goin' do?
-Yeah.

-Oh, now you wanna be a team?
-Damn 10,000.

-Where'd it go?
-Oh, now we a team, we?

Yeah!

You a joke, man,
you know that?

Come on, come on, dog, you
gotta help me, man, 10,000--

I owe Nazario
$10,000 now, dog!

Yeah, man, hey listen, dog,
let me explain something to you.

I cannot believe you.

I told you.
Didn't I told you?

-Man, Derrick.
-How many times I told you?

I told you, didn't I?

-How many times I told you?
-For real, man--

-I told you.
-Derrick--

-I told you--
-For real--

How many times I told you,
dog.

-Seriously, man--
-I told you.

Be for real right now, dude.

Oh, I am for real,
I told you.

-Man, come on, dog.
-Yeah.

What am I gonna do, dog?

-Now it's we.
-Huh?

-Now you wanna be a team.
-Somebody gotta know

where the money is.

Man, I wonder who in
the hell coulda took

that money on the real side,
though, dude?

[both] Mykell!

♪ I'm living the good life

♪ I'm living the good life

♪ I'm gonna take this street ♪

♪ Live in luxury ♪

♪ Everyone should follow me

♪ 'Cause I'm living that,
I'm living the good life ♪

♪ I'm living the good life

♪ I'ma introduce myself

-♪ Ey!
-♪ To the finer things

-♪ Ey!
-♪ I'ma live life

♪ Like all the good niggas

♪ I'm living
the good life ♪

♪ I'm a get it...

Hey, welcome to Little Caesars.
How may I help you?

How many pizzas do you have
to order to get 'em delivered?

Uh... we don't deliver here.

-♪ The good life
-♪ Livin' the good life

Hey, hey, hey, hey,
Justin Bieber,

hey, let me help you out
with that, man.

Oh, no, I'm good, I'm just
going right there, I'm good.

Brother, brother, brother,
I'm not a thief, I'm in sales.

-Oh--
-Yeah, man,

just take it easy, man, I ain't
gonna take nothing from you.

Okay.

Yeah, man, that's, um,
nice skateboard you got there.

Yo, chill out,
it's my mom's car.

Oh, my bad, man.

So, how long you been
into pizza?

Since I was 15, so
about a year and a half.

-Right, I really dig that.
-Yeah.

Yeah, check this out,
though man,

you know, I had
a couple of females

that was hot and readies.

-Oh, really?
-Oh, yeah.

Hey those shoes
and that outfit

are lookin'
hot and ready.

Aw, thank you,
thank you, man.

You know, I got this
whole outfit, man,

down there from, uh,
Prayola Sporting Goods.

Oh, really.
Where's that at?

Oh, that's over there
down there by there.

-Wait, what?
-Yeah, it's a secret.

-[chuckles] Okay.
-Yeah.

Hey, fellas,
got us some pizzas!

-Oh right on!
-Ha ha!

-Beady eyes, right?
-There you go.

Yeah, what the-- Look.

Yo, white boy do it look like
we're having a party in here?

Why in the hell would you bring
all these pizzas and stuff?

[Gerard]
Yeah what's up with that?

Uh, someone ordered them,
I mean,

he told me to come--
bring 'em here.

Stop talkin' to him.
Stop talkin' to him.

They paid in full, and
they left a pretty good tip.

-He the police.
-Huh?

He the police, man.
Trust me, I know.

He the hook, he the hook,
we hot!

Man, he 12 years old,
man, he is not the police.

Hey, uh, I'm 16 actually.

And 15 will get you 30 man.

This store is hot, we hot,
they on us!

Would you put your damn hand
down man!

They on us dude.
Stop. Trust me man.

-He the hook, look at him!
-We'll take 'em.

-Are you sure?
-You can leave 'em here, yeah.

If you don't want 'em,

I can find someone else
to take 'em, I'm sure.

-No, Derrick'll eat 'em.
-Why would you say my name, man?

Why would you say my name?

[chuckles] He works
for Little Caesar's, man!

He's recording us, Gerard.
Why would you say my name man?

-You trippin'.
-You just got me
in trouble dog.

-You ain't even doing--
-Look he the police man,

I'm in the streets.
I do this!

-Stop playing!
-Thanks, man.

You're good,
you're good to go.

-All right.
-We're through.

We're through. Say bye.
You just sent me up the river.

His girlfriend's named
Celina too!

♪

Happy birthday,
G money honey!

Donna, what a surprise.

Hey, baby, let me in!

So I can give you
your present.

Um, Donna, I've been
meaning to talk to you.

We gotta stop this.

Stop what?
We're both adults.

Yeah, but, this adult
has a girlfriend.

You know,
I gotta stop treating her
the way I treat her.

It's only right, Donna.

I'm sure you understand,
don't you?

Oh, hell no!

-Whoa!
-You ain't gonna play me!

Um, Donna, whoa whoa,
that's a gun!

What-What are you doing?

What I'm doing is
trying to figure out

how I can make this whole thing
look like a robbery gone bad!

-Um--
-'Cause you know what?

You wasn't thinking about
your little girlfriend

-every time we was doing it.
-Donna, calm down!

-Was you?
-No, no!

Was you? You know what?
You just another dog

that wanted to use me
for me best assets!

That's not--
That's not true Donna!

I'm not even an ass man.
I like shins,

forearms, knuckles.
Think, Donna.

We had some good times, girl.

-Mm-kay.
-Didn't we?

You're right.
Ooh, the first time we did it,

that jambalaya you made
was so good.

Oh, baby, if you wasn't
such a good cook,

-I'd shoot that thing off!
-No, you don't wanna--

-[door chiming]
-Uh-huh!

Oh, oh, oh,
clawed is the shepherd.

Is this a stick up,
or a chick up?

I mean, a chick up to here
with a man's bullshit!

Gerard, there is always
some drama in here!

-You okay?
-Just go. No!

-You Okay?
-No!

Oh, I know, I know,
I been there baby!

-No!
-My ex left me

for a 15-year old.
I'm telling you,

I'm feeling your pain!
Left me for a 15-year old,

gonna tell me she could do
things that I couldn't do.

Like what, Mr. Kelly,
double-dutch?

Oh, yeah I was so mad.

I don't do that double stuff,
girl, I'm old school.

Follow your gut.

I wouldn't do it, I'ma snitch,
get me some cheesy popcorn.

You know what?

You better be glad I'm saved,

because another broad

might find your little
girlfriend,

find out what school
she go to,

what kind of car she drive,

where she live at.
[chuckles]

And bam, bam!

[chuckles]
You getting off easy!

You getting off easy!

Damn, she is crazy!

I'm just gonna assume
these on the house!

♪

Baby Daddy?

Oh, hell no, no.
Uh-uh!

If you don't get away
from my car,

you done already smoked up
my battery.

What the hell you
talking about,

I ain't stripping it,
I'm fixin' it!

-Oh you fixin'?
-Yeah!

And where did you get
the money from?

See I didn't, it was our son,
he's a natural born hustler

just like his daddy!

The boy out here grinding
just like your brakes!

-Our son?
-[chuckles] Yeah.

Get it together.
[grunts]

You better pump yo brakes!

You know you ain't
getting no more of this!

Not till you fix
your little problem.

I'm working on it baby.
You watch. Watch and see.

I got a little grease on you
right there,

you want to use this rag
to get it off?

-Boy, back!
-Baby, what we got is electric.

It's electric, baby.

-All right, what you got?
-I got Avatar Three.

-Avatar Three?
-I got the new Star Wars.

-All right.
-I got Tyler Perry,

Medea Goes to Mars, in 3D.

-All right, all right.
-And I'll give 'em all to you,

-three for 10.
-Three for 10 man?

But check though,
I got something for you.

I've got the Hidden Hoodrat
Cameras, Volume 17.

-VG and KK?
-Yeah, featuring VG and KK.

Is that KK?

-Hey, KK?
-What?

-Hold on!
-What the hell is this?

What?

It-- It looks like us!

-But-- but--
-Yeah, speaking of butt,

mine is right here on
the front cover,

did you have anything to do
with this?

No, I didn't have
anything to do with this!

I don't-- Listen,
I don't know how this got out.

Baby, I'm gonna get
every copy back, all right?

Every single one,
I swear, okay?

Yeah, don't you think it's
a little too late for that now?

It's probably all over
the internet!

If my parents see this,
they're gonna flip.

Let me see this right here.

Oh, my goodness.
I heard of My Space,

but damn, Kelly,
your space ain't that bad.

Is that your twitter
hanging out?

Oh, let me tweet that
one time, Kelly.

This is all your fault.

♪ But I love
your sexy ways ♪

♪ Come on and
thrill me, momma ♪

♪ Thrill me, girl

Man, you and that girl
are gonna be the Ray J

and Kim Kardashian
of the West Side.

Man, tell me
this ain't happening!

So you heard.

You mean you
knew about this?

I tried telling you,

but you were too busy
with donkey butt Donna!

My cousin Corey came over
with the tape,

made me burn it to DVD, and
even helped design the cover.

How many copies did you make?

Twenty-six. That's all
the blank DVDs I had.

They're gonna sell 'em,
and re-up. Sorry.

Sorry? Sorry?
Oh, I got your sorry!

Chill, calm down!

I can help you get out of
this, but it's gonna cost.

Tavis, every penny to my name
is already spoken for.

And since when is money
the only currency in the 'hood?

[phone ringing]

-Hello?
-A case.

That's the best I can do.

Is that all your love's
worth, 24 petty cans?

You gotta sweeten the deal,
Romeo.

All right. Free beer,
jerky and chips.

[chuckles] Now we
gettin' somewhere!

But look,
only when I'm working.

Do not bring my family
into this.

There go my man right there.

[chuckling]

My man Earl the Pearl,

smoother than
a newborn's bottom, baby.

Old Earl's face
Smokey Robinson style.

Boy, look at him.

[indistinct dialogue]

Man, what color is that?

That's that cobalt blue.
It's expensive!

Oh, man, I thought that
was that blue magic.

Brothers,
this is the vida blue.

-Vida blue, you get that?
-[laughing]

Vida blue,
you hear that?

So, what's happening, huh?
You got the weather forecast,

you know it's gonna be hot
today?

You need that hydration,
you got it?

We got that covered Earl,
right here.

No no, come on, I'm
talking about that H2O.

-Uh-uh.
-Come on,

Gerard can hook you up with
a hose in the back

if you need to.
Come on!

-Aw, man...
-Man,

you know what, I'm shocked.

I didn't know you cared
like that!

I feel loved as a stepchild!

Look, to tell you the truth,
I don't give a shit.

-[chuckling]
-Ambulances are just

bad for business,
you know what I'm saying?

Hey, it's all good, Earl, but
man, I can't drink no water,

-I'm on medication.
-I heard that, I heard that.

Look, you heard about
this couple,

they been married for
a long time, 50 years,

and the man said,
"Baby, you getting
a little big down there."

So she went to the doctor,
the doctor checked it out,

doctor said, "It sho is big,
it sho is big."

She said, "You didn't
have to say it twice."

-He said, "I didn't."
-[laughing]

-Hey, hey, Earl!
-Huh?

-You know what?
-What?

You is gonna bring
light skinned brothers back,

man, we coming back.

We ain't gone nowhere,
we in the White House.

-Say that, say that, baby!
-Call it the light house!

[laughing]

[Earl]
Watch my ride, big man!

[door chiming]

Hey, son.

Hey, Dad.

You forgot to put the sign up.

My bad, I'll do it now.

[sighs]
You know it's hot.

I sell a lot of beer
out there.

-Uh-huh.
-We gotta be on our Ps and Qs,

we got competition
across the street,

Charley, huh?

Come on, Dad, the Chois
are nice people.

Look, I was in the military,
son,

I know what the enemy
look like.

You don't know what side
those people are on, do ya?

[scoff]
I know what it is.

-Hmm?
-You still upset that

Mr. Choi outbid you
on that claim.

-That's what it is.
-Let me tell you something.

I got something for Mr. Choi,
I got something for you.

I got a new business
proposition.

Okay,
I got a video store.

-Uh-huh, a video store.
-A video store,

a black video store,
specializing in black cinema.

-Uh-huh.
-Yes we're gonna have

the black actors, we're gonna
have the black directors.

-All right.
-You know what
I'm gonna call it?

-What you gonna call it?
-Black Buster.

-Black Buster?
-That's right, Black Buster.

-Brilliant, in't it?
-Out of all the--

-Black Buster?
-Black Buster, that's right,

Black Buster.
You can see it in lights,

red, black and green.

That's a lawsuit
bound to happen.

Look, don't worry about
no lawsuit.

I got Judge Mathis
in the pocket.

All right.

Uh, hey, Dad,
I need to talk to you.

Go ahead, talk,
I'm listening, son.

I'm all ears.
Talk to me, son.

Uh...

I'm moving to New York
to um--

to go to cooking school.

You goin' where
to do what, son?

I'm moving to New York

to go to a school
for culinary arts.

A school for culinary arts.

You know I wanna be
a chef, Dad.

[chuckling]

I mean I enrolled
in this program and I got in!

Uh-huh. [chuckles]

Big Jim says cooking's
in my blood.

Oh, Big Jim?

-Yeah?
-He's a guidance counselor?

-[chuckling]
-Dad,

you used to cook
in the Army,

and we all know how Mom
used to throw down.

She could make anything
taste good. [chuckles]

She could take
a piece of leather,

put some hot sauce on it
and make it feel good.

Hey, I remember 20 years ago

I walked off that line
at Ford's,

and I opened this place
called Earl's Barbecue,

me and your momma.

They say, "Earl, you gonna
be back on the assembly

line within a week.

Your momma said,
"Hell no!"

We gonna go to work on
this thing, so we worked.

Yes we did.

Your mother and I worked
14 hours a day,

night and day to
make that thing work.

But your mother always
wanted you to be a doctor.

Well, I think Mom
would have been happy

with whatever
I decided to do.

I only have one heir.

You're the only one, son,
don't lose it.

Don't lose this,
we worked for it.

Dad, it'll just be
a few years.

A few years, and I'm
coming right back.

And when I come back,
we can open up our own spot.

-Oh, yeah?
-The Jenkins' Gourmet Cafe.

Jenkins'... Gourmet Cafe.

[chuckling]

Yeah. I like that,
gourmet cafe.

Yeah, it has
a nice rhyme to it.

-Yeah.
-But check this out, son.

How about...

Dr. Jenkins' Gourmet Cafe?

Chef Jenkins' Gourmet Cafe.

Don't give up on
your mother's dream.

Deposits.
Come on.

I leave next month,

with or without
your blessing.

Never mind about
my blessing, son,

give me my deposits.

Come on.

Doctor!

Doctor!

-[door chiming]
-Mr. J!

What's up, baby?
Look at you!

Lookin' like Chico DeBarge.
No, you look more like El.

-Yeah?
-Yeah, you El.

-Yeah?
-Man, it feel good

to see somebody out here
getting money like me, man.

-Good to see you, Derrick.
-Finally.

-Where's your belt at?
-Belt?

-I don't need no belt.
-You don't need no belt?

You're sagging, pull up
your pants, son.

Oh, you checkin' out my swag.
[laughs]

You checking out my swag!

Yeah, you checking out my swag.

1995, you hit me for those
Twizzler's didn't you?

1996,
you hit me for the Ho Hos.

1997, you hit me for the
Now-and-Later, didn't you?

Man, my momma
wanted that candy.

What up, dog?

Mykell came by here.

He did? You get the money
from him?

He ain't have it.

What you mean,
he ain't take it?

I mean he don't have
the money.

Ain't that funny?

[chuckles]
No, it ain't funny,

'cause now we're really screwed!

Damn, I was for sho
he took that money, man!

-Bad news.
-Yeah, bad news.

Yeah, speaking of bad news,
I got some mo' for 'ya.

Got a pregnancy test
back there?

Are you kidding me? Again?

She ain't 100% for sure,
but, uh,

it's looking that way.

See, I told you about using
them Dollar Store condoms.

Man, you love saying that
I told you to me, don't you?

Guess what? I'll be glad
when you start telling me

not to buy no condom
from yo ass.

Yeah, I bought them
cheap-ass condoms from you.

Yeah, right there.
Them right there!

Same ones, dog.

You goin' half with me on
this child support, too.

-Yeah, I better pull these.
-You think?

And while you playin',

you better start watching
Kelly, dog.

I be seeing it in her eyes.
She tryin' to get knocked up,

before you go to college.

-I'm tellin' 'ya!
-Listen man.

I don't know why I don't
have a pot to piss in,

or a window
to throw it out of.

-Besides Kelly dumped me.
-What? She dumped you?

'Cause you was cheatin'?

What's that?

What the hell is this, man?

Man that's Kelly, naked?

Man-- [laughs]
Y'all--

-Dog, y'all doing porn?
-We didn't put that out, man,

-Cory and Leo did!
-We--

That's you?
Oh, hell no, man!

I knew your girlfriend
was a freak,

always acting
goody two-shoes.

Little freaky ass!

-No, hey--
-Kelly naked.

-She all the way naked here?
-Derrick.

Yep, that's Kelly.
I know that little tight ass--

-I mean, her hair!
-Come on, man.

-Now, let me see this.
-D, come on.

-I'm keeping this.
-Gimme the DVD back man.

-Let me buy it from you.
-Man, you are no help, man.

What you need help?

You fixin' be a star, man!

Porn, but at least
you're gonna be shinin'.

[laughing]

♪

Come on, man,
give me the tape.

I'm gonna miss this tape, man.

Yeah, we got a lot of memories
with that tape, man.

-Give it here.
-Hey, hey, hey, same time.

-We don't play that.
-Come on.

-What's up.
-Mm-hmm!

-This what I been waitin' for.
-Get the beer!

-Get the beer!
-Let's go!

-Here.
-Man, hurry up, Leo.

Hey, chill out bro.

Have our next shipment ready,
tomorrow.

-Tomorrow.
-Tomorrow.

-Man, get out of here, man!
-Tomorrow.

Pleasure doing business
with you boss. [laughs]

-[door chiming]
-Oh.

Is that a white person?
Oh, my goodness.

-In the 'hood? You ugly.
-Oh, cheese and rice.

-Sorry about that, Rev.
-Oh, never mind, um,

how are you this blessed day,
son?

I'm good.

How's the soul business
treating you?

Oh, taxing as usual.
Satan never sleeps!

[laughing]

Is your dad around?

You know what, Rev?
You just missed him.

Well, I shouldn't be
embarrassed, I mean,

you're not a boy
and I'm not Catholic.

[chuckles] Hell, yeah, then
we'd definitely have a problem.

But, uh,
what can I do for you today?

Let me have a fifth of
Hennessy.

[cash register beeping]

And some rolling papers.

And the new issue of
Big Black Booty.

Okay. Uh...

$35.83, Rev!

$35.83?

Eh, that's basket change.

-Out of 40?
-Uh, keep the change.

There's always another Sunday.

[chuckles] Okay.

-Wow.
-[door chiming]

♪

-Still mad at me?
-Furious.

Livid.

But I talked to my therapist
after the whole situation,

and she reminded me that

you had nothing to with
the theft itself.

Yes, thank God for her!

[chuckling]
And she also reminded me

that you took action
when faced with a crises,

so it was admirable.

So I'm off the hook?

I don't have to give you
100 million like Tiger, do I?

Whoa, Tiger, I think
you're gonna have to

-give up 100 mill.
-Whatever.

[chuckling]

[door chiming]

Gerard!
You gotta come quick man!

-What?
-Somebody trying to
break into Kelly's car!

-Huh?
-What?

How you doing, Kelly?
Look, baby,

they messing your car up!

Your car look like you hit
everything but the four digits.

Hold on baby, I got this,
don't worry.

Baby, open that door,
get outside right now!

-Are you sure?
-Come no!

I'm trying to
tell you about it!

-[door chiming]
-Car?

All right!

[all] Surprise!

[laughing]

[clapping]

How we gonna forget, son,
not in a million years.

I actually--

-Thank you!
-I-- I forgot.

-This is-- I bet you did.
-[laughs]

I bet you did.

-You knew about this?
-Now, come on man.

-Happy birthday.
-You knew about this too?

-Little something.
-[chuckling]

Excuse me, party people,
but, uh,

don't you all dare start
this party without me.

-[Mykell] No, she didn't!
-Baby girl!

Brains behind it all!

You know it.
Happy birthday

-Hey, Dad.
-Hey, baby.

-Let's party!
-I'm still a little mad

that you didn't take
over this shift

-and you made me work.
-Look,

I set this up, you gotta
work hard for good things, okay?

-You're right.
-So be grateful.

Well, let's party y'all!

[cheering]

♪ [funk]

♪ Oh oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh oh ♪

Listen, you can eat that
devil's food all you want to,
all right?

You know that sugar is the
white man's number one drug?

Hey, you know, you need
to stop being racist.

Hey, you listen too, Lu Kang.

I know a racist is, huh?

I been locked up, all right?
I know exactly what racism is.

Don't talk to me about
being racist.

Man, I thought you got
locked up for stealing cable.

You steal cable?

[chattering]

-♪ [funk]
-[Gail] Daddy.

-Pop.
-Daddy, please.
Put the cup down.

-This is a funky--
-No no no no no no,

do not pay any attention to
them, Mr. J, do your thing!

[chuckling]

[Earl] Yeah, that's it.

I swear,
if you don't get off me,

I'm gonna call security,
okay?

-What's up, KJ?
-Hey, what's going on?

Brought you something
to drink.

Oh, thank you.

Why you look
so sad over here?

Um, it's just been
a long day.

-One of them days?
-Yeah one of those days.

What can I do
to make it better?

[chuckles] I don't know...

♪

Happy birthday, playboy!

Appreciate it, man,
but at the rate we going,

-it might be my last.
-Man, look,

stop always worrying, man,
about yo problems!

You keep worrying like you do,
you'll be just like your daddy!

You know I saw you steal
those Snickers in 1972.

[chuckling]
Chill out. I got this!

Look, it's your birthday.
Go enjoy yourself, man!

-All right.
-Gerard!

-You got this?
-I got this.

-I'm gonna take your word.
-Let me handle it.

I got this. Trust me.

♪ [heavy funk]

[chuckling]

We appreciate you, man.
You a black store.

-You do a lot for people.
-Hey, it's all good.

People do a good thing
for me too.

♪

You know, y'all can be
like Three the Hard Way.

[indistinct chatter]

[Earl] Fred Williamson, uh,
who is it? Jim Kelly--

-Uh huh.
-And, uh, who is the third one?

Freida Hartley. $10 bet!

-No, no. Jim Brown!
-Jim Brown!

-Jim Brown!
-Jim Brown, Jim Brown!

[gunshots]

[screaming]

Gerard!
Derrick!

-I want my money!
-I don't even know you.

I'm just out here
trying to get my money, man.

-You trying to clown me?
-Leave him alone Nazario!

I took the money!

I know it was wrong!

I can't let you shoot my boy!

Come on, Nazario,
this is my family, man!

We can work something out!

Oh, you gonna
shoot a little boy?

You a real big man, huh?
With a real big gun.

Well, shoot me then!

You ain't gonna shoot my wife!

You don't have to do this, son.

You gonna shoot all of us now?

♪

What are you drinking, man?

Some tequila would be nice.

♪

-Tequila.
-[chattering]

♪ Dogs of the world unite

♪ Street dog, house dog

♪ Bow wow yippy yo yippy yay

♪ Bow wow
yippy yo yippy yay ♪

Ooh, another year,
another block party.

[chuckles]
Bow wow wow, yeah...

What you know about Snoop Dog?

Snoop Dog? Come on,
George Clinton came with that

way before Snoop
got up in it.

-Dad, Dad.
-Yeah.

-I'm sorry about--
-Look, don't say nothing, son,

it's all cool, it's all good.

Look, sometime thing happen,
sometime thing happen right,

sometime thing happen wrong,

sometime people do
the right thing,

sometime people do
the wrong thing,

-just like your daddy.
-Okay, you talkin' crazy, Daddy.

-How much have you--
-I had a little taste,

let me tell you something.

You know what
he's gonna say now?

I've been wanting to say this
for a while, to both of y'all.

You know that girl Tamika,
come in here,

I said I didn't know her?

I know her,
I do know her.

-Uh-huh.
-She come in here a lot,

-and, uh...
-Right.

-So what's up between y'all?
-Yeah, her youngest.

-Huh?
-This must be a joke
or something.

Her youngest--
You see, me and Tamika--

-[Gerard] What?
-[both] Say what?

Okay, you're kidding, right?

-Wait a minute.
-Seriously, Daddy.

-Wait-- Wait a minute.
-I knew it. I had a feeling.

And guess what his name is?

-What is his name?
-Latrell.

-Latrell?
-Mm-hmm.

-Latrell?
-Latrell.

Do you know with
a name like that,

you can only end up doing
a couple things in life?

Basketball player,
R&B singer.

You know what?
Or one of those hair dressers

-down on Seven Mile, Daddy.
-Don't dis your brother Latrell.

His name is Latrell Jenkins,

just like your name is
Gail Jenkins,

just like your name is
Gerard Jenkins.

He is a Jenkins,
he is your blood,

he is your family,
he is your little brother,

and he is going to
look up to you

for the rest of your life.

So love him.
Support him.

Come on, you gettin'
too emotional on me.

Let's go back out
and enjoy the party.

We got your back with Latrell.

Latrell Jenkins.

-Latrell Jenkins.
-[chuckling]

[Earl] I voted for Clinton,
George Clinton.

Hey, come on girl,
let's dance a little bit.

♪ So high you can't
get over it ♪

♪ So high, yeah, yeah, yeah

♪ This is a chance,
this is a chance ♪

♪ To dance away...

[Mykell] Mr. Jenkins said,
even though I done wrong,

I had a good head
on my shoulders.

I just needed to learn
the value of hard work.

He also hired Derrick
part time

with the deal that
the first ten checks

go straight to Nazario.

Man, Derrick is gonna
work out just fine.

I'm not even worried
about him at all.

I know, and he has
the perfect mentality

for this
neighborhood too.

[sniffs] Damn!

Y'all coming through
the money slot, man!

Now, I heard of
the Doobie Brothers

but y'all the Dookie Brothers
up here.

[chuckling]

Yeah, straight up.

♪ Ready or not, yeah

So, when do you leave?

Two weeks.

Rented the truck
and everything.

Wanna roll?

Hmm...

I might be up for
a road trip.

[giggling]

Ooh-whee!

Man where that girl
learn that at?

[whistles]

[Mykell]
Well, as you can see,

a lot can happen
on the corner.

-Wait a minute.
-What?

-Mm-mm. Get up, get up.
-What?

Nope,
it's not happening here.

I'm not letting this happen
again, nope.

Aw, man!

[Derrick] Y'all runnin'
y'all mouth, man!

I told y'all to shut up, man!

[Mykell] Just another day
in the D, y'all!

♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

♪ Huh

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

♪ Hey, oh, all right

♪ She always make me dance

♪ Something about the music

♪ She always make me dance

♪ She turns me on
and on and all about ♪

-What up, champ, baby!
-Yo, KO Kid!

-What's up, baby?
-Oh nothing man, I--

You remember when you
got knocked out, man?

See I got knocked out
one time--

-You got knocked out, baby!
-Now I'm getting--

-Cold!
-Aw, man, you getting--

I fought five fights, I was
champ for four-- four hours!

Hey, how'd it feel to
get knocked out, man?

[Kato] I don't remember.

Hey, [indistinct].

[Kato] Let me run with ya.
Let me run with 'ya!

-[chattering]
-[clattering]

Aw, see, you ain't in
no shape to run, man!

Stay--Man, go and sit down
for a while.

I'll see you later.

Yeah, I'ma get you something.

[man]
All right, keep it rolling,
keep it rolling!

-[chuckling]
-Hey look here man,

you take it easy like George
and Weezy, young blood!

Don't sag too much.
I see your thong!

[chuckling]

Hey-- Hey hold on.

Uh-huh.

Look, is this Popeye's?

-Mm-hm. Extra crispy.
-[man] And cut!

-You think a car wash
is bullet proof?
-No, sir.

-You think a car wash
is bulletproof?
-No, sir.

-Then get in there
and go to work!
-Yes, sir.

Hey! Come in here!
Get them rims done!

[chuckles] All right.

Need a car wash?

Need some barbecue?

You need some socks?

Well if it--

Well, if it ain't Ali Baba
and the one thief.

And the African in the back.

[laughing]

Give us free!

If it ain't Amistad.

Hey, man, what you got up
under your shirt, helium?

Look like the last break dancer.

-[chuckling]
-You're more like

a cocky senior citizen!

-Two Coneys, one up!
-[chuckling]

One loose, two Coneys!

I'm trying to get
enough money to raise-- Uh!

[man]
Let's go back to one.

You're just thinking about it
a little too much!

Everybody get y'all punk
asses on the floor right now!

-Wait, whip out, then say it?
-[man] No you did it, yeah.

-Whip out then say it.
-[laughing]

But, you know,
I can get a patch kit

to take care of that
leak for about $20 but--

Look, my boy over on Log Cabin,

he got one of these rusting out
in his backyard,

I could probably raid it
for parts for about $40.

New plugs ain't no thing.

Plus, she need brakes,
oil change.

Boy, you talking about
$2,000, boy.

-You got the money.
-[chuckling]

I know I got the money
in my pocket, don't I?

-Now you Rakim?
-No, I'm not Rakim.

I don't act hip hop,
I am hip hop!

No, you don't act hip hop,
you are crazy!

-I mean think--
-What the hell

did he just say?

Can't believe you did that
to my honey bun, man.

Hey-- You know,
when I think about it,

it just makes me angry!

These devils, man,
they-- Look!

And the same people that
tells you what's in these darn
honey buns

are the same people
filming this movie!

[laughing]

I'm gonna deduct this
from your $20 I owe you.

You still owe me 20
for the last time!

No, Earl owe you.

Gail owe you 20
from the last time.

That's right, it was Gail.

How is Gail?

-She good.
-[laughing]

[clattering]

My main man Barnamo,
what's happening baby?

-You got it bro.
-A'right, look here.

You missed a spot
right there, okay?

And get these damn
wine bottles up, Baltimore.

That's what garbage cans for.

Yeah, well, Big Jim ain't
cleaning up nothing!

I'm trying to find out who
killed Michael Jackson.

[man] And cut!

♪ For a penny

♪ Anything you need they
just might have it, really ♪

♪ I can remember when my
momma used to tell me ♪

♪ Go down to the store

♪ There's one in almost
every major city ♪