All language subtitles for Def.Comedy.Jam.25.2017.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-[YTS.MX]

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian Download
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian Download
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,246 [hip-hop music playing] 4 00:00:17,117 --> 00:00:19,720 [narrator] The '80s and '90s were a storm of politics, 5 00:00:19,786 --> 00:00:21,121 pop culture, sports, 6 00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:24,391 and a new, groundbreaking genre of music called hip-hop. 7 00:00:26,927 --> 00:00:28,428 Hip-hop was the sounding board, 8 00:00:28,495 --> 00:00:31,798 revealing the hard-hitting issues that faced black America. 9 00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:35,802 Steve Young reports on a new kind of cocaine, called crack. 10 00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:38,739 [reporter] Health officials said there has been a dramatic rise in AIDS 11 00:00:38,805 --> 00:00:40,707 in the black and Hispanic communities. 12 00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:41,775 Young America... 13 00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:44,244 hold your head high now. 14 00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:46,380 We can win. 15 00:00:47,114 --> 00:00:49,983 [narrator] In a time desperately in need of comic relief, 16 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,319 stand-up comedy exploded. 17 00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:57,424 But many underground black comedians had yet to make the same breakthrough 18 00:00:57,491 --> 00:00:58,725 as hip-hop musicians. 19 00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:00,427 Noticing a void, 20 00:01:01,195 --> 00:01:04,097 Russell Simmons partnered with comedy director Stan Lathan, 21 00:01:04,164 --> 00:01:06,600 and together, they built a team 22 00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:10,437 to discover and develop new and edgy comedic voices 23 00:01:10,503 --> 00:01:13,139 that harnessed the same raw energy of hip-hop. 24 00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:16,143 Then on July 1, 1992, 25 00:01:16,210 --> 00:01:18,612 Def Comedy Jam hit the airwaves. 26 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:23,650 [Kid Capri] Tonight, Def Comedy Jam 25. 27 00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:26,753 Starring Bill Bellamy, Cedric the Entertainer, 28 00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:30,390 Deon Cole, Dave Chappelle, Melanie Comarcho, 29 00:01:30,457 --> 00:01:33,460 Mike Epps, Adele Givens, Eddie Griffin, 30 00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:37,264 Tiffany Haddish, Kevin Hart, Steve Harvey, 31 00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:40,501 D.L. Hughley, Ice Cube, Martin Lawrence, 32 00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:44,004 Tracy Morgan, Trevor Noah, Craig Robinson, 33 00:01:44,071 --> 00:01:48,408 Chris Rock, Tony Rock, JB Smoove, Joe Torry, 34 00:01:48,475 --> 00:01:51,311 Sheryl Underwood and Katt Williams. 35 00:01:51,812 --> 00:01:54,581 Welcome to the stage, Steve Harvey, 36 00:01:55,148 --> 00:01:59,219 Sheryl Underwood, Cedric the Entertainer 37 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,387 and Dave Chappelle! 38 00:02:08,161 --> 00:02:09,062 Yeah! 39 00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:12,065 Get up on your motherfucking feet! 40 00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:14,101 -Yeah! Yes! -What up? 41 00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:17,538 -Yes! -This room is legendary already, man. 42 00:02:17,604 --> 00:02:20,774 -Already! -Oh, it's crazy out there, man. 43 00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:23,877 All right, everybody, sit down 44 00:02:23,944 --> 00:02:26,013 and get ready for some public school reading. 45 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:27,981 [laughing] 46 00:02:28,048 --> 00:02:30,517 Def Comedy Jam 25. 47 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:34,955 It's good to see so many funny people together in one room, 48 00:02:35,022 --> 00:02:37,157 all wondering the same thing: 49 00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:39,726 Is Katt Williams gonna show up? 50 00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:45,265 [Sheryl] Yes! 51 00:02:45,966 --> 00:02:46,967 Yes! 52 00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:48,168 Oh, he's right there. 53 00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:50,137 There he is. 54 00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:53,040 I didn't know he was right there. 55 00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:55,409 I would not have said that if I'd seen you right there. 56 00:02:56,643 --> 00:02:57,644 [Sheryl] Yeah! 57 00:02:57,711 --> 00:03:00,280 I'm not used to quiet, introspective Katt Williams. 58 00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:01,348 No. 59 00:03:01,415 --> 00:03:02,950 [Steve] But let me ask you this: 60 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:06,753 When have you ever seen this many heavy hitters 61 00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:11,258 all together at the same time in the same room? 62 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:12,993 -Yes. -Right. 63 00:03:13,927 --> 00:03:17,331 And let me tell you something. Y'all look good, too, man. 64 00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:19,633 Yeah, you do. Y'all look good. 65 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:22,603 So, tonight, if nothing else, 66 00:03:22,669 --> 00:03:24,905 black lifestyles matter. 67 00:03:24,972 --> 00:03:25,873 -That's right! -Nice. 68 00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:26,773 Yeah. 69 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:32,045 And, Steve, we are here to celebrate 25 years 70 00:03:32,112 --> 00:03:34,314 of a comedy institution. 71 00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:38,819 And I would like to announce that I will be starring as Tracy Morgan 72 00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:40,821 in The Tracy Morgan Story. 73 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:44,958 I have the weight, and if I just take off this wig, 74 00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:47,628 you'll go, "That bitch looks just like Tracy Morgan." 75 00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:53,166 No, I was gonna do The Cedric the Entertainer Story, 76 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:56,470 but I haven't lost enough weight to be Cedric. 77 00:03:56,537 --> 00:03:58,405 I did, motherfuckers. Shit. 78 00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:06,279 From 1992 to 1997, Def Comedy Jam was the watercooler show 79 00:04:06,346 --> 00:04:07,581 that you had to see. 80 00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:11,151 Def Jam was responsible for more stolen cable 81 00:04:11,218 --> 00:04:13,487 than any other television show. 82 00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:16,623 That's right, that's right. Real talk, real talk. 83 00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:18,425 Oh, it's my turn. 84 00:04:18,492 --> 00:04:20,127 I thought these motherfuckers didn't think I could read. 85 00:04:20,194 --> 00:04:21,762 Shit, I've been up here, too. 86 00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:24,898 Now, for some of you millennials who might be asking, 87 00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:27,134 -"What the hell is Def Comedy Jam?" -What? 88 00:04:27,201 --> 00:04:28,702 That's why we hate you little motherfuckers. 89 00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:30,304 -Y'all don't know shit. -That's right. 90 00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:31,905 That's right. That's right. 91 00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:33,607 We got emojis, too. How about this one? 92 00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:38,712 No subject matter was off limits. 93 00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:41,215 That's what a comic would feel as he pushed the envelope. 94 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,083 Push the envelope? Shit. 95 00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:46,787 We pushed, licked, stamped and mailed that bitch! 96 00:04:48,589 --> 00:04:51,892 -Should I have said that "motherfucker"? -No, you got it. 97 00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:54,361 -Should we have added more profanity? -No, "mail that bitch" was good. 98 00:04:54,427 --> 00:04:56,863 Pushed, licked, stamped, sucked that motherfucker? Half off. 99 00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:02,803 Rumble, young man! Rumble. Do that shit. 100 00:05:03,604 --> 00:05:04,471 Um... 101 00:05:05,072 --> 00:05:07,107 I'm the host of Little Big Shots. 102 00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:11,645 [Sheryl] Oh, damn. Oh, damn. He went mainstream on us. 103 00:05:11,712 --> 00:05:14,648 Y'all ain't gonna sit over here and mess my money up. Unh-unh. 104 00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:15,916 No, no. 105 00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:18,652 Won't be having me out here cussing and shit. 106 00:05:18,719 --> 00:05:22,022 -Hi, CBS! -I got plenty of checks coming in now. 107 00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:23,223 Unh-unh. 108 00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:25,659 -ABC, CBS. -Cuss on your own-- 109 00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:28,195 You ain't gonna be on CBS. Yeah. 110 00:05:28,262 --> 00:05:31,064 My ass is gonna have a job when we get through with this here. 111 00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:34,001 Sitting up here, MF-ing and all this here. 112 00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:36,336 Shit, I'm nervous as hell right now. 113 00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:38,772 Oh, man. 114 00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:42,376 Y'all know how hard I've been trying to get here. 115 00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:47,981 25 years ago, Russell Simmons and Stan Lathan had a vision 116 00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:51,185 to bring urban comedy to the mainstream. 117 00:05:51,250 --> 00:05:52,585 -Yes! -Yeah. 118 00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:55,689 -Because people like Shuckey Duckey... -Quack, quack! 119 00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:57,724 -and Hamburger... -Hamburger! 120 00:05:57,791 --> 00:06:00,494 had something that the world needed to hear. 121 00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:01,495 What the fuck was it, Steve? 122 00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:06,033 I'm just-- 123 00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:07,301 I don't know what the fuck it could've been. 124 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,937 You don't have to comment on everything. 125 00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:11,772 You said I was gonna be your hype man! 126 00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:14,508 There's a teleprompter. Some of this shit got to go. 127 00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:17,077 I didn't mean to say that. I didn't mean to say that. 128 00:06:17,144 --> 00:06:19,713 Little Big Shots. Little Big Shots. 129 00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:22,649 -Come on. -It's my turn. 130 00:06:23,217 --> 00:06:24,318 That's right. 131 00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:26,954 [laughing] 132 00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:29,990 The day after they signed the deal, 133 00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:33,594 they officially explained to HBO that "urban" meant "Negro." 134 00:06:33,660 --> 00:06:34,728 What?! 135 00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:40,567 And their vision of urban comedy was born, and then chitlins fell from the sky. 136 00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:42,002 High blood pressure! 137 00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:45,672 The blackest thing they did was to hire an Italian black guy from the Bronx. 138 00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:48,742 -Fuhgeddaboudit! -The legendary Kid Capri! 139 00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:50,878 -You up here, Capri! -Yeah! Kid Capri! 140 00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:54,581 You couldn't come out on stage unless Kid said your name. 141 00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:57,351 -All right, wait, let me get serious. -Get serious. 142 00:06:57,417 --> 00:07:01,188 So, Russell Simmons and Stan Lathan saw comedians like Robin Harris 143 00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:03,457 at the Comedy Act Theater here in LA. 144 00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:04,992 -Yes. -Yeah, man. 145 00:07:05,726 --> 00:07:09,263 And then there was the whole Uptown Comedy Club circuit in Harlem. 146 00:07:09,329 --> 00:07:12,900 And they realized there was nothing like that on television. 147 00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:14,234 It was like early hip-hop. 148 00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:17,337 It was like a secret that only black people knew about. 149 00:07:17,404 --> 00:07:21,575 Then Russell and Stan, they added a major Hollywood manager: 150 00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:23,644 Sandy Wernick. Sandy, what up, man? 151 00:07:23,710 --> 00:07:25,612 -[Dave] Sandy Wernick in the building. -Oh, yeah. 152 00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:29,016 They had to go enlist this man, because they both looked around 153 00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:31,919 and they was like, "We're trying to get this on TV, but we're black. 154 00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:34,054 We're gonna need a Jewish guy." 155 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,087 [Steve] Yeah. 156 00:07:35,154 --> 00:07:38,458 And they enlisted a man with an incredible eye for talent: 157 00:07:38,525 --> 00:07:40,761 -Eye! -Bob Sumner, man! 158 00:07:40,827 --> 00:07:43,564 [Cedric] Bob Sumner. Shout out Bob Sumner, man. 159 00:07:44,364 --> 00:07:46,133 Bob went around-- 160 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:49,670 Wait. I would be remiss if I didn't point out 161 00:07:49,736 --> 00:07:52,639 that Bob passed on me the first three times he saw me. 162 00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:55,075 -[Sheryl] Wait a minute, Ced. -That's right, Bob. 163 00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:57,110 -Wait a minute. He passed on me, too. -No! 164 00:07:57,177 --> 00:07:59,713 -That's what I'm trying to say. -He passed on me, too. 165 00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:02,349 Bob would be like, "You know, the third time I met Halle Berry, 166 00:08:02,416 --> 00:08:04,351 I realized she was kind of cute." 167 00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:12,192 On a serious note, we owe a huge debt of gratitude 168 00:08:12,259 --> 00:08:15,229 -to those men at that table right there. -Absolutely. 169 00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:19,366 A lot of stars were born because of those men's vision right there. 170 00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:20,333 [Sheryl] That's right. 171 00:08:20,399 --> 00:08:23,536 I love you guys. Thank you so much for what you did for us 172 00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:24,638 and for our genre. 173 00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:27,307 -Thank you, guys. -Thank you very much. Thank y'all. 174 00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:30,043 Let's get this show rolling, ladies and gentlemen. 175 00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:32,813 Right now, it is my pleasure to bring to the stage 176 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:36,783 the one and only Tracy Morgan. 177 00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:38,484 [Sheryl] Yeah! Yeah! 178 00:08:38,551 --> 00:08:40,286 -[Cedric] You already out here. -[Sheryl laughing] 179 00:08:45,391 --> 00:08:46,359 Yo. 180 00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:49,129 Yeah! 181 00:08:51,098 --> 00:08:52,499 What up, what up, what up?! 182 00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:53,867 Holler at me! 183 00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:56,203 Oh, man. 184 00:08:58,739 --> 00:08:59,806 Thank you. 185 00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:04,678 Thank you so much. 186 00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:09,016 Y'all know the journey I just came off, and I miss y'all. 187 00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:12,753 I miss y'all full hard, and I'm here, and we're having a good time. 188 00:09:12,819 --> 00:09:14,488 Wait a minute. Something's missing. 189 00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:17,457 Something ain't right. Something is missing. 190 00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:19,993 We've been having all this, but something's missing, boo. 191 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,094 Something ain't right. 192 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:22,896 Martin! 193 00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:26,967 Martin Lawrence. 25 years ago-- 194 00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:29,036 Check this out. Bust it. 195 00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:33,607 25 years ago, I was a young, hungry comic trying to find my way in this game, man. 196 00:09:33,674 --> 00:09:36,643 And dude came out of nowhere and said, "Come eat at my table." 197 00:09:37,444 --> 00:09:39,179 Just like you with your artists, Puff. 198 00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:43,617 He did that with me. He's my OG. He will always be my OG. 199 00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:45,586 I love you. That ain't gonna never stop. 200 00:09:46,852 --> 00:09:49,288 Word is born. Word is born. 201 00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:53,460 Thank you! 202 00:09:53,527 --> 00:09:58,165 Me and my family thank you for giving me an opportunity, Martin. 203 00:09:58,232 --> 00:09:59,233 I love you so much. 204 00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:06,073 That's word life. 205 00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:07,875 You know what I'm saying? I seen him-- 206 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:11,111 I was sitting right up there, I seen him. Me and my brother Jim went to the show. 207 00:10:11,178 --> 00:10:15,148 The first show I seen him, I looked at him and something came over me. 208 00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:18,452 I knew what I wanted to do 'cause of you, with my life. 209 00:10:18,519 --> 00:10:22,656 He was funny. He used to blow it up. He used to fuck that audience up. 210 00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:24,358 Yo, take a look at this shit right here. 211 00:10:24,423 --> 00:10:26,826 -[crowd cheering] -[hip-hop music playing] 212 00:10:26,894 --> 00:10:29,329 [audience] Go, Martin! Go, Martin! 213 00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:32,099 Go, Martin! Go, Martin! 214 00:10:32,165 --> 00:10:34,401 Go, Martin! Go, Martin! 215 00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:38,338 Do white stewardesses choose who they want to say bye-bye to? 216 00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:41,909 It could be like four white people, and then you're the fifth. 217 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:46,246 And they go, "Bye-bye. Bye-bye. All right, bye-bye, now. Bye-bye." 218 00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:50,751 How you doin'? 219 00:10:51,585 --> 00:10:53,587 That's a lot of hair weave, you know. 220 00:10:54,354 --> 00:10:56,557 There's a bald horse in Central Park. 221 00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:07,167 You ever bone a girl so good, 222 00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:10,704 she looked back at your ass... I mean, with confusion? 223 00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:12,005 Like, "Who are you?" 224 00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:14,708 You're hitting it, bam, bam. She turns around like this. 225 00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:31,124 Now... 226 00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:33,193 is it me... 227 00:11:34,261 --> 00:11:36,463 or is it hotter than a motherfucker in here? 228 00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:38,632 Is it? I guess it's me. 229 00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:40,634 Let me wipe off. 230 00:11:47,774 --> 00:11:49,176 Thank you! 231 00:11:49,243 --> 00:11:50,677 [Kid Capri] Ladies and gentlemen, 232 00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:56,483 welcome Martin Lawrence! 233 00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:11,098 Man. How y'all doin'? 234 00:12:14,268 --> 00:12:17,171 Wow, wow, wow. It's just-- 235 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:20,574 Y'all looking good. So many beautiful people here tonight. 236 00:12:20,641 --> 00:12:21,642 [woman] Whoo! 237 00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:23,844 Good, good. Back to you, baby. Ow! 238 00:12:25,846 --> 00:12:28,081 Ugly people got it hard. Ugly people. 239 00:12:28,614 --> 00:12:29,915 About 25 years ago, 240 00:12:29,983 --> 00:12:33,820 Russell Simmons and Stan Lathan hired a young, raw kid 241 00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:36,323 who used to think he could be a boxer. 242 00:12:36,390 --> 00:12:39,526 But I had to get out that game after I kept getting my eyes swole. 243 00:12:41,028 --> 00:12:43,163 But they asked me to become the host 244 00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:47,501 of what would become the hottest stand-up comedy show in history: 245 00:12:47,568 --> 00:12:49,336 Def Comedy Jam. 246 00:12:54,007 --> 00:12:58,445 So, I'm paying tribute to you guys for what you've done for me 247 00:12:58,512 --> 00:13:02,282 and all of us that's come out here and did our thing on this stage. 248 00:13:02,349 --> 00:13:05,986 I thank you, and I also thank all of you, the audience, the fans, 249 00:13:06,053 --> 00:13:08,355 that supported the show over the years 250 00:13:08,422 --> 00:13:10,591 and helped us to last as long as we last. 251 00:13:10,657 --> 00:13:13,327 So, I thank y'all so much. God bless. 252 00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:23,570 I mean, it was amazing. 253 00:13:23,637 --> 00:13:28,509 The music was hot, the audience. 254 00:13:28,575 --> 00:13:30,511 It was kind of like a place you wanted to be. 255 00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:32,713 You had Showtime at the Apollo, it was really good, 256 00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:36,450 but there was something raw about Def Comedy Jam. 257 00:13:36,517 --> 00:13:38,352 It felt really New York. 258 00:13:38,418 --> 00:13:40,287 That's the other thing about the Def Jam. 259 00:13:40,354 --> 00:13:43,590 You know, everything on TV feels Hollywood. 260 00:13:43,657 --> 00:13:46,393 Even Saturday Night Live feels like Hollywood, you know? 261 00:13:46,460 --> 00:13:48,262 "Live from New York, we're in Hollywood!" 262 00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:51,665 No. But there's something about the Def Jam 263 00:13:51,732 --> 00:13:55,469 that felt grimy and New York-ish. 264 00:13:55,536 --> 00:13:59,339 Def Comedy Jam introduced comics you would've never seen otherwise. 265 00:13:59,406 --> 00:14:04,111 I mean, Bernie Mac's like the Satchel Paige of stand-up. 266 00:14:04,178 --> 00:14:08,048 You know what I mean? He was killing it for years. 267 00:14:08,115 --> 00:14:12,219 Nobody puts him on TV. Def Comedy Jam puts him on TV, 268 00:14:12,286 --> 00:14:16,657 and he's, you know, a mega-star basically two years after. 269 00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:17,891 Chris Tucker. 270 00:14:17,958 --> 00:14:19,893 Sheryl Underwood: 271 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:23,897 The dirtiest comedian that ever walked the earth. 272 00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:27,668 I don't know if there's anybody I'd want to follow less than Sheryl Underwood. 273 00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:30,070 It's a toss-up between her and Bernie. 274 00:14:30,137 --> 00:14:34,241 I remember getting an offer to host Def Comedy Jam 275 00:14:34,308 --> 00:14:36,310 after Martin left. 276 00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:40,614 And I thought about it, I really did. I really thought about it. 277 00:14:40,681 --> 00:14:43,750 I watched some Def Comedy Jams-- and saw how good Martin was-- 278 00:14:43,817 --> 00:14:46,053 again, before I made my decision. 279 00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:48,956 I was like, "I'm not following this guy. This guy is amazing." 280 00:14:49,022 --> 00:14:52,192 Martin Lawrence is one of the most underrated hosts. 281 00:14:52,259 --> 00:14:55,262 I wish they'd let him host the Oscars or something or the Emmys 282 00:14:55,329 --> 00:14:59,399 or the Grammys or something. He's such a good host. 283 00:14:59,466 --> 00:15:04,271 I just want to say happy 25th anniversary to the Def Comedy Jam, 284 00:15:04,338 --> 00:15:07,608 one of the greatest comedy shows of all time. 285 00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:10,644 And I salute Martin Lawrence, 286 00:15:10,711 --> 00:15:14,014 the greatest host of all time. 287 00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:17,718 Ladies and gentlemen, 288 00:15:17,784 --> 00:15:21,355 welcome to the stage Miss Tiffany Haddish! 289 00:15:25,659 --> 00:15:28,195 What up? She ready! 290 00:15:30,531 --> 00:15:35,869 Okay, some of you sadiddy, stuck-up folks out there better recognize. 291 00:15:35,936 --> 00:15:39,439 Y'all know what Def Comedy Jam did for us. 292 00:15:40,007 --> 00:15:43,477 It gave us a platform. It was an opportunity 293 00:15:43,544 --> 00:15:48,282 for a completely uninhibited female comic to say whatever she had to say 294 00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:50,918 without giving a fuck, okay? 295 00:15:51,585 --> 00:15:55,222 Let's be honest. That's where you want uninhibited people to be: 296 00:15:55,289 --> 00:15:57,724 On TV. Not at your job, okay? 297 00:15:58,959 --> 00:16:04,231 Can you imagine me working in the cubicle next to you every morning, 298 00:16:04,298 --> 00:16:07,801 like, "She ready! Uhh!" 299 00:16:08,569 --> 00:16:12,039 You trying to type up your monthly reports in your cubicle, 300 00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:14,274 and I'm flat-ironing my hair in mine. 301 00:16:15,509 --> 00:16:18,478 Making a Worldstar video in the break room. 302 00:16:19,146 --> 00:16:23,483 Smelling up the whole office warming up the catfish in the microwave. 303 00:16:23,550 --> 00:16:25,719 You know, FaceTiming my mama, 304 00:16:25,786 --> 00:16:28,222 talking about the dumb motherfuckers I work with. 305 00:16:28,922 --> 00:16:30,057 Ha ha! 306 00:16:30,891 --> 00:16:34,127 Hitting on your son when it's Bring Your Kids to Work Day. 307 00:16:34,194 --> 00:16:36,463 Like, "Look at your son. He cute! 308 00:16:36,530 --> 00:16:39,199 You're gonna be fine when you grow up, little boy. 309 00:16:39,266 --> 00:16:40,834 You like grown-ups?" 310 00:16:40,901 --> 00:16:42,102 [laughing] 311 00:16:42,936 --> 00:16:43,937 Sorry. 312 00:16:44,638 --> 00:16:47,074 Or what about on Casual Friday, 313 00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:51,812 I show up with no panties on and no bra, like, "What's up, everybody? 314 00:16:51,879 --> 00:16:54,948 It's Casual Friday. It's cold in here, huh? 315 00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:56,149 My nipples." 316 00:16:57,317 --> 00:17:00,320 Y'all don't want to work with that shit. Y'all don't want that at your job. 317 00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:02,823 Y'all want that on Def Comedy Jam. 318 00:17:02,890 --> 00:17:07,361 That's why I'm here to give a respectful shout-out from-- 319 00:17:08,762 --> 00:17:12,332 For real, though, I'm here to give a respectful shout-out 320 00:17:12,399 --> 00:17:13,967 for letting a sister like me-- 321 00:17:14,034 --> 00:17:17,938 somebody who used to sneak into my friends' houses late at night-- 322 00:17:18,005 --> 00:17:20,641 'cause they had cable. I didn't have that shit. 323 00:17:21,341 --> 00:17:23,844 and I used to watch it and be like, "I want to do that one day." 324 00:17:23,911 --> 00:17:26,813 So, thank you, guys, for giving me the opportunity 325 00:17:28,448 --> 00:17:29,650 and letting me do it. 326 00:17:30,317 --> 00:17:33,153 Thank you, Def Comedy Jam. Peace. 327 00:17:37,791 --> 00:17:41,595 What's going on, everybody? It's JB Smoove. 328 00:17:42,396 --> 00:17:44,765 A physical comedian is specifically a comic 329 00:17:44,831 --> 00:17:48,135 who utilizes every inch of his body to get a laugh. 330 00:17:48,202 --> 00:17:49,436 Every damn inch. 331 00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:51,271 And as you can see from my long and lean frame, 332 00:17:51,338 --> 00:17:54,474 I'm the perfect prototype to do physical comedy. Come on. 333 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:07,754 Fucking bowling ball again. 334 00:18:08,722 --> 00:18:10,090 [indistinct chatter] 335 00:18:10,157 --> 00:18:11,391 Ahh. 336 00:18:16,430 --> 00:18:17,865 Ohh! 337 00:18:19,867 --> 00:18:21,435 Nigga... fshhhh! 338 00:18:21,502 --> 00:18:22,402 Nigga... 339 00:18:24,171 --> 00:18:25,506 [shouting] 340 00:18:27,908 --> 00:18:31,445 [Kid Capri] Welcome to the stage, my man, D.L. Hughley! 341 00:18:32,344 --> 00:18:33,579 That's very nice. 342 00:18:34,848 --> 00:18:37,417 When Def Comedy Jam was on in the '90s, 343 00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:40,020 it was the stuff that was going on back then: 344 00:18:40,087 --> 00:18:41,722 Police brutality, riots 345 00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:45,058 and a strange election with a crazy billionaire running for president. 346 00:18:45,659 --> 00:18:47,094 Shit, that's now. 347 00:18:48,562 --> 00:18:51,632 You knew damn well that the minute a white woman blamed a black man 348 00:18:51,698 --> 00:18:53,200 for kidnapping her kids, 349 00:18:53,267 --> 00:18:54,768 somebody on Def Jam was gonna talk about it. 350 00:18:54,835 --> 00:18:57,171 Black men do not kidnap kids. 351 00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:04,478 Some of us won't even see them little motherfuckers, so... 352 00:19:06,446 --> 00:19:07,981 The bottom line in the '90s: 353 00:19:08,046 --> 00:19:10,482 Def Jam comedians broke down the news 354 00:19:10,549 --> 00:19:12,484 for people right before they went to the club. 355 00:19:12,553 --> 00:19:14,054 So we made sure they were informed 356 00:19:14,121 --> 00:19:16,657 before they got to the club and got pregnant. 357 00:19:17,925 --> 00:19:18,825 Check this out. 358 00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:21,361 [newscaster] The motorist, a black male, 359 00:19:21,428 --> 00:19:24,264 brutally beaten and kicked by Los Angeles police officers, 360 00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:28,202 a beating that continued even as the man appeared to offer no resistance. 361 00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:33,507 Only white folks were shocked when they saw that tape. 362 00:19:33,574 --> 00:19:36,076 Police whupping black folks in the black community ain't new shit. 363 00:19:36,143 --> 00:19:38,111 When I saw that, I thought it was a new Timex commercial. 364 00:19:38,178 --> 00:19:39,546 I didn't know what the fuck it was. 365 00:19:39,613 --> 00:19:42,015 But that's all right, 'cause the brother getting paid. 366 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:46,218 He's getting a million dollars for every blow. $56 million. 367 00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:47,321 [audience cheers and applauds] 368 00:19:47,387 --> 00:19:49,990 I'm looking to get fucked up. 369 00:19:50,757 --> 00:19:54,328 I'm doing 300 miles an hour in a Volkswagen, 370 00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:56,930 yelling out the window, "Fuck the police! 371 00:19:57,831 --> 00:20:00,734 Fuck all you badge-carrying motherfuckers! 372 00:20:00,801 --> 00:20:04,705 Come over here, whup my ass, give me my cash! 373 00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:09,042 [newscaster] The issue was not whether Lorena Bobbit did 374 00:20:09,109 --> 00:20:10,911 what her husband claimed she did. 375 00:20:10,978 --> 00:20:12,813 The facts about the act were evident. 376 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:14,982 She cut his dick off... 377 00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:16,049 [clicks tongue] 378 00:20:16,950 --> 00:20:19,386 drove down the highway... 379 00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:21,054 [clicks tongue] 380 00:20:21,655 --> 00:20:23,857 and threw it out the window. 381 00:20:24,491 --> 00:20:28,028 Car 111, we want you to proceed down on the freeway. 382 00:20:28,896 --> 00:20:30,531 See if you can't locate a dick. 383 00:20:31,632 --> 00:20:34,768 She obviously got 20/20 vision. She found the little thing. 384 00:20:34,835 --> 00:20:36,637 It was very difficult to find. 385 00:20:36,703 --> 00:20:38,605 [newscaster] The Los Angeles Police Department 386 00:20:38,672 --> 00:20:41,742 is actively searching for Mr. Simpson. 387 00:20:41,808 --> 00:20:44,278 You know who the real victim is? Ike. 388 00:20:45,179 --> 00:20:46,213 Ike Turner. 389 00:20:48,182 --> 00:20:51,251 'Cause Ike was king of the woman-beaters till OJ took his title. 390 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:55,923 Don't nobody give a fuck about OJ and all of that punk-ass shit. 391 00:20:55,989 --> 00:20:58,158 Niggas just want to know: When is the next riot? 392 00:20:58,223 --> 00:20:59,524 Fuck that. 393 00:20:59,927 --> 00:21:02,396 [woman] We, the jury, find the defendant, Orenthal James Simpson, 394 00:21:02,462 --> 00:21:03,997 not guilty of the crime of murder. 395 00:21:04,064 --> 00:21:05,799 I want Johnnie Cochran in my corner. 396 00:21:05,866 --> 00:21:07,467 He was like a magician. 397 00:21:07,534 --> 00:21:09,837 He said, "If it don't fit, you must... 398 00:21:09,903 --> 00:21:10,804 [audience] Acquit. 399 00:21:10,871 --> 00:21:12,005 "...acquit." 400 00:21:12,072 --> 00:21:13,207 [cheers and applause] 401 00:21:15,409 --> 00:21:19,146 I actually heard white people say that they were so upset 402 00:21:19,213 --> 00:21:22,149 and angry with the verdict that they couldn't sleep. 403 00:21:22,916 --> 00:21:27,287 Well, you know, black people have had insomnia for 400 years. 404 00:21:28,255 --> 00:21:31,925 Every prison is filled with niggas, just overcrowded with niggas. 405 00:21:31,992 --> 00:21:33,827 One motherfucker gets away: "Hey! 406 00:21:35,262 --> 00:21:37,731 We gotta take a look at the justice system! 407 00:21:37,798 --> 00:21:38,999 It's not working!" 408 00:21:41,468 --> 00:21:44,238 [Kid Capri] Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together 409 00:21:44,304 --> 00:21:46,807 for Mr. Bill Bellamy! 410 00:21:48,609 --> 00:21:51,144 What's up, everybody? How y'all feelin'? 411 00:21:53,247 --> 00:21:55,716 Def Comedy Jam was ahead of its time. 412 00:21:55,782 --> 00:21:59,019 We cracked jokes every Friday night that were so damn hot, 413 00:21:59,086 --> 00:22:03,123 you were telling them in church on Sunday, and they were repeated that whole week. 414 00:22:03,190 --> 00:22:07,528 We wasn't tweeting, wasn't retweeting. We was just repeating. 415 00:22:07,594 --> 00:22:08,629 [chuckles] 416 00:22:08,695 --> 00:22:12,699 We didn't film the comic during the show. We watched the show back in the day. 417 00:22:12,766 --> 00:22:14,735 We didn't text the person across the room. 418 00:22:14,801 --> 00:22:17,971 You got your ass up and went over there and spoke to somebody. 419 00:22:18,038 --> 00:22:20,240 We're talking old-school shit, you feel me? 420 00:22:20,874 --> 00:22:22,075 [chuckles] 421 00:22:22,142 --> 00:22:24,912 If you asked somebody, "Are you on the Vine yet?" 422 00:22:24,978 --> 00:22:28,315 your answer would be, "No, bro, I'm stuck in traffic like a motherfucker, 423 00:22:28,382 --> 00:22:29,816 still on Sunset." 424 00:22:29,883 --> 00:22:33,921 "Emoji" was just a lazy-ass, country way to say "Emma Jean." 425 00:22:35,455 --> 00:22:38,425 But back then, the thought of a thousand niggas following you 426 00:22:38,492 --> 00:22:41,295 would scare the fuck out of everybody in this room. 427 00:22:43,764 --> 00:22:45,098 But at the same time, 428 00:22:45,165 --> 00:22:48,836 social media would've been the best thing to ever happen for Def Jam. 429 00:22:48,902 --> 00:22:51,471 Think about it. We would've had all kinds of hashtags. 430 00:22:51,538 --> 00:22:54,174 Think about that. They would've been springing up all over the place. 431 00:22:54,241 --> 00:22:58,011 I probably would've had the most famous hashtag in the world. 432 00:22:58,078 --> 00:23:01,381 None of y'all knew how to get booty two in the morning till I came on. 433 00:23:01,448 --> 00:23:02,516 You know what I'm saying? 434 00:23:02,583 --> 00:23:03,984 [laughs] 435 00:23:04,051 --> 00:23:07,521 If anybody in here back in the day needed to call a chick up at two in the morning, 436 00:23:07,588 --> 00:23:08,856 you made a what? 437 00:23:08,922 --> 00:23:11,124 -[all] Booty call. -Yes, you did. 438 00:23:12,025 --> 00:23:14,728 Right now, we're gonna see some more iconic moments 439 00:23:14,795 --> 00:23:17,564 that were created on that Def Comedy Jam stage, 440 00:23:17,631 --> 00:23:19,733 and they definitely would've broke the Internet. Check it out. 441 00:23:20,868 --> 00:23:22,669 Now, are y'all ready... 442 00:23:22,736 --> 00:23:24,738 for the next comedian? 443 00:23:24,805 --> 00:23:27,341 [crowd] Yeah. Is he funny? 444 00:23:28,976 --> 00:23:30,544 -What's up? -How you doin'? 445 00:23:30,611 --> 00:23:31,745 Watch out there, now! 446 00:23:34,414 --> 00:23:37,150 If you know what I know, all the ladies in the house say, "Hello!" 447 00:23:37,217 --> 00:23:38,318 [crowd] Hello! 448 00:23:39,119 --> 00:23:40,721 Hamburger! 449 00:23:40,787 --> 00:23:43,257 Is that or is that not a booty call? Can you help me? 450 00:23:44,057 --> 00:23:46,860 She's such a fucking lady! 451 00:23:46,927 --> 00:23:48,262 Pissed off, man! 452 00:23:49,363 --> 00:23:51,365 He's so crazy. 453 00:23:51,431 --> 00:23:53,133 Shuckey Duckey, quack, quack. 454 00:23:55,602 --> 00:23:56,703 Along with Martin Lawrence, 455 00:23:56,770 --> 00:23:59,773 there's one other person you associate with Def Comedy Jam, 456 00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:02,075 and that name is Adele Givens. 457 00:24:04,142 --> 00:24:06,645 She's made more appearances on Def Comedy Jam 458 00:24:06,713 --> 00:24:08,482 than any other comedian. 459 00:24:08,549 --> 00:24:11,051 So let's give her a Def Comedy Jam intro. 460 00:24:11,118 --> 00:24:13,353 Kid Capri, if you please. 461 00:24:14,052 --> 00:24:16,688 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage 462 00:24:16,757 --> 00:24:22,563 the queen of Def Comedy Jam, Miss Adele Givens! 463 00:24:28,735 --> 00:24:30,637 What's up? 464 00:24:32,439 --> 00:24:34,675 Damn! 465 00:24:34,741 --> 00:24:40,080 Def Comedy Jam 25! This is awesome! 466 00:24:40,147 --> 00:24:43,617 And I know, when y'all looking at me, I know exactly what you're thinking. 467 00:24:43,684 --> 00:24:44,918 I know what you're thinking. 468 00:24:44,985 --> 00:24:48,222 "She is such a fucking lady." 469 00:24:48,288 --> 00:24:49,857 [cheers and applause] 470 00:24:51,959 --> 00:24:54,795 I am so glad and honored to be a part of this. 471 00:24:54,862 --> 00:24:58,198 And this is what's making me feel so good, that we look so good. 472 00:24:58,265 --> 00:25:02,970 So many of my peers from 25 years ago, we look so goddamn good. 473 00:25:03,737 --> 00:25:05,572 And we're old-school now. 474 00:25:06,471 --> 00:25:08,540 So, I know how the fuck we feel. 475 00:25:09,676 --> 00:25:11,545 We're sleepy, ain't we, motherfucker? 476 00:25:14,948 --> 00:25:19,219 Something about that old-school, when you get in that double-E zone. 477 00:25:19,286 --> 00:25:20,521 When I say "double-E," 478 00:25:20,587 --> 00:25:22,789 I mean shit that happened with a double-E in it. 479 00:25:22,856 --> 00:25:24,658 Like sometimes you're walking down the street, 480 00:25:24,725 --> 00:25:26,360 minding your business, thinking you're cute, 481 00:25:26,426 --> 00:25:28,896 and out of nowhere, your knees say, "Hey, bitch, I'm gonna bend. 482 00:25:30,931 --> 00:25:33,333 I'm gonna take a knee right here, bitch." 483 00:25:33,932 --> 00:25:35,534 That's the double-E zone. 484 00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:38,036 'Cause you always got a double-E issue with your body. 485 00:25:38,103 --> 00:25:40,005 If it ain't your knee, it's your teeth, ain't it? 486 00:25:40,805 --> 00:25:43,408 How do your teeth get brand-new in your 40s? 487 00:25:45,045 --> 00:25:48,215 And why do dentists think they're a fucking mechanic? 488 00:25:49,616 --> 00:25:51,552 You know how you take your car for one thing, 489 00:25:51,616 --> 00:25:53,552 then they tell you some other shit's going on? 490 00:25:56,390 --> 00:25:59,026 That's how the dentists do. I go there, I had a toothache. 491 00:25:59,092 --> 00:26:01,862 This shit ain't even real. It's a half a tooth in my head. 492 00:26:03,397 --> 00:26:05,399 I come in there, I tell that bitch, "My teeth hurt." 493 00:26:05,465 --> 00:26:07,034 She said, "I'll have to get X-rays." 494 00:26:07,100 --> 00:26:10,103 The tooth's over here. This bitch was getting X-rays over here. 495 00:26:11,605 --> 00:26:13,941 I said, "Hey, bitch, why are you on this side?" 496 00:26:14,708 --> 00:26:16,410 She said, "I think I see a cavity." 497 00:26:16,476 --> 00:26:18,278 I said, "Well, close your goddamn eyes, bitch, 498 00:26:20,514 --> 00:26:22,983 'cause that ain't your goddamn business over there." 499 00:26:26,954 --> 00:26:30,557 And what is it about the dentists, they want to be a hero to your teeth? 500 00:26:30,624 --> 00:26:32,593 You go in there and your teeth kicking your ass. 501 00:26:32,659 --> 00:26:34,995 It's like, "Hey, this motherfucker killing me. Get it out." 502 00:26:35,062 --> 00:26:37,731 This bitch said, "I can save the tooth." 503 00:26:39,533 --> 00:26:42,703 "From who, bitch? I'm the victim in this situation." 504 00:26:45,572 --> 00:26:49,476 Pull the tooth, save the bitch. That's my motto. I live by that. 505 00:26:51,712 --> 00:26:55,048 I'm living that double-E life. But I tell you what: 506 00:26:55,115 --> 00:26:58,685 If it ain't your teeth and if it ain't your knee, 507 00:26:58,752 --> 00:27:01,522 another double-E we experience-- you laugh too hard and you pee. 508 00:27:01,588 --> 00:27:02,523 Sometimes-- 509 00:27:04,858 --> 00:27:07,194 Don't be a little bitch. Some of you got a wet right now. 510 00:27:08,395 --> 00:27:09,663 Don't be no whole lot. 511 00:27:09,730 --> 00:27:12,266 Just enough to make you smell like R. Kelly's girlfriend. 512 00:27:12,332 --> 00:27:14,368 Just a little sample. 513 00:27:21,006 --> 00:27:21,940 [sniffs] 514 00:27:29,249 --> 00:27:30,184 But I tell y'all what. 515 00:27:30,250 --> 00:27:32,452 There's one double-E we be looking for, don't we? 516 00:27:32,519 --> 00:27:35,489 When you get old-school, it's a double-E that you used to run from, 517 00:27:35,556 --> 00:27:36,557 you used to hide from, 518 00:27:36,623 --> 00:27:39,660 but now when you see that bitch, you know you love it, don't you? 519 00:27:39,726 --> 00:27:41,094 You know the double-E. 520 00:27:41,728 --> 00:27:42,729 Sleep. 521 00:27:43,730 --> 00:27:46,600 Oh, some of you motherfuckers want to nap right now. 522 00:27:47,768 --> 00:27:51,772 You ever take a nap that lasts so long, you gotta get up and get ready for bed? 523 00:27:51,839 --> 00:27:53,373 That ever happened to you? 524 00:28:00,113 --> 00:28:01,815 You're like, "Oh, shit! 525 00:28:02,516 --> 00:28:04,518 It's almost my bedtime! 526 00:28:05,552 --> 00:28:06,887 Why y'all ain't wake me up? 527 00:28:06,954 --> 00:28:09,389 Y'all know I don't like to be late for bed." 528 00:28:12,192 --> 00:28:13,827 But I gotta say this. 529 00:28:13,894 --> 00:28:17,030 Some late nights was made special and beautiful 530 00:28:17,097 --> 00:28:19,233 from these three gentlemen right here. 531 00:28:19,731 --> 00:28:21,833 I want to say, from the bottom of my heart, 532 00:28:21,902 --> 00:28:24,471 thank y'all, 'cause y'all made it possible 533 00:28:24,538 --> 00:28:28,008 for the world to see what a fucking lady looks like. 534 00:28:28,075 --> 00:28:29,243 [cheers and applause] 535 00:28:34,047 --> 00:28:35,182 Thank y'all. 536 00:28:37,951 --> 00:28:42,189 I personally love to talk comedy. Why? Because I'm a student of comedy. 537 00:28:42,756 --> 00:28:47,027 You can't be a student of comedy and not be a student of Def Comedy Jam. 538 00:28:47,094 --> 00:28:50,531 I remember the first time I got a chance to do Def Jam. 539 00:28:50,597 --> 00:28:52,533 Should I curse? Should I not curse? 540 00:28:52,599 --> 00:28:54,601 What should I talk about? Should I make stuff up? 541 00:28:54,668 --> 00:28:57,237 Do I have a high voice onstage, or do I not have a high voice? 542 00:28:57,304 --> 00:28:58,872 What should I sound like? 543 00:28:58,939 --> 00:29:02,009 What do I do? Should I go out there and be like, "Motherfuckers!" 544 00:29:02,075 --> 00:29:04,578 Or should I be like, "Yeah, niggas!" 545 00:29:04,645 --> 00:29:07,281 What do I say? I don't know. 546 00:29:08,115 --> 00:29:10,851 But I was like, "I don't talk like either one of those. 547 00:29:10,918 --> 00:29:13,720 So why can't I just come out and be myself and say, "What up?" 548 00:29:13,787 --> 00:29:15,956 I remember I had a lime-green linen shirt on, 549 00:29:16,023 --> 00:29:17,991 some blue jeans and Air Force 1's. 550 00:29:18,058 --> 00:29:21,528 This lime-green shirt is gonna fucking kill 'em. 551 00:29:21,595 --> 00:29:22,696 It's about to pop. 552 00:29:23,163 --> 00:29:26,533 They're gonna see this shirt and go, "Ooh, who's that?" 553 00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:30,070 And I remember sitting on a stool for the majority of my show 554 00:29:30,137 --> 00:29:32,873 because I wanted to show how comfortable I was 555 00:29:32,940 --> 00:29:35,075 in a place where so many people got nervous. 556 00:29:35,142 --> 00:29:36,777 Because the bad thing about Def Jam: 557 00:29:36,844 --> 00:29:40,280 If you didn't bring it, they'd boo your ass up off that stage. 558 00:29:40,347 --> 00:29:42,583 So, I reverse-mind-tricked them. 559 00:29:42,649 --> 00:29:45,519 I'm not gonna stand up and look like the small guy that's scared 560 00:29:45,586 --> 00:29:46,887 and be all over the place. 561 00:29:46,954 --> 00:29:50,924 I'm gonna sit down for a little bit and hit you with some cocky, cool shit 562 00:29:50,991 --> 00:29:52,559 and make you go, "Ooh." 563 00:29:52,626 --> 00:29:55,629 And then I'm gonna get up and punch you in the face with these jokes. 564 00:29:55,696 --> 00:29:56,697 And that's what I did. 565 00:29:56,763 --> 00:29:59,733 One of the best sets I ever had was on Def Comedy Jam. 566 00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:03,203 I'm now able to say, as Kevin Hart, the comedian, 567 00:30:03,270 --> 00:30:07,107 that I performed on Def Comedy Jam. 568 00:30:09,510 --> 00:30:11,578 Coming to the stage right now, 569 00:30:11,645 --> 00:30:16,517 the king of impressions, my man, Steve Harvey! 570 00:30:24,358 --> 00:30:25,659 Heh. 571 00:30:25,726 --> 00:30:28,262 I ain't never did impressions, Kid. 572 00:30:28,793 --> 00:30:30,328 I ain't never acted like nothin'. 573 00:30:30,862 --> 00:30:31,830 You said-- 574 00:30:32,463 --> 00:30:35,834 I ain't never did impressions, dawg. 575 00:30:36,301 --> 00:30:40,972 Shit. But after they see me around all this cussing, 576 00:30:43,710 --> 00:30:48,048 I'm gonna have act like my ass got a game show after this. 577 00:30:48,115 --> 00:30:51,485 I know they're gonna take me off TV, so I might as well go out with a bang. 578 00:30:51,552 --> 00:30:53,687 Fuck it. Yeah. 579 00:30:54,655 --> 00:30:55,889 [laughs] 580 00:30:57,455 --> 00:30:58,456 Let me tell you something. 581 00:30:58,523 --> 00:31:03,027 There was one impression that popped up all the time on Def Jam. 582 00:31:04,062 --> 00:31:07,899 It was one of the most repeated impressions ever 583 00:31:07,968 --> 00:31:09,903 in the history of Def Jam, 584 00:31:09,970 --> 00:31:12,306 and it came from the legend himself, 585 00:31:12,372 --> 00:31:16,710 the King of Pop, the one and only Michael Jackson. 586 00:31:18,178 --> 00:31:20,247 - Michael Jackson. - Michael Jackson! Whoo! 587 00:31:20,311 --> 00:31:23,081 -The King of Pop. -[imitating Michael Jackson] 588 00:31:28,121 --> 00:31:29,489 Ohh! 589 00:31:29,556 --> 00:31:31,325 Ohh! 590 00:31:31,391 --> 00:31:34,094 Imagine if Michael Jackson was from the projects. 591 00:31:34,161 --> 00:31:35,429 [pop music playing] 592 00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:48,008 What if Michael Jackson was a pimp? 593 00:31:49,142 --> 00:31:51,879 Him and Tito would be riding around in a Cadillac and shit. 594 00:31:54,715 --> 00:31:56,049 "Slow down, Tito. 595 00:31:57,618 --> 00:31:59,553 Slow down, Tito! Damn! 596 00:32:01,555 --> 00:32:04,324 Is that my ho over there sitting on the curb? 597 00:32:04,391 --> 00:32:05,626 Let me out. 598 00:32:07,294 --> 00:32:08,829 Come here, girl! 599 00:32:11,198 --> 00:32:13,166 I said come here, girl! 600 00:32:13,901 --> 00:32:15,536 Where my money? How much you got?" 601 00:32:16,570 --> 00:32:19,473 "Mike, I'm sorry. All I got is a $100 bill." 602 00:32:19,540 --> 00:32:22,109 "Girl, you been out here all day, and all you got is a $100 bill? 603 00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:23,875 Ohh! 604 00:32:23,944 --> 00:32:25,179 [imitates slap] 605 00:32:26,013 --> 00:32:27,948 Keep it in the closet." 606 00:32:28,015 --> 00:32:29,816 I think Michael's on crack. 607 00:32:30,851 --> 00:32:32,553 I bet you Michael's at home like... 608 00:32:34,054 --> 00:32:35,856 [inhales] 609 00:32:37,057 --> 00:32:38,091 Ohh! 610 00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:48,435 [inhales] 611 00:33:07,888 --> 00:33:09,289 [inhales] 612 00:33:11,191 --> 00:33:12,926 Ohh! 613 00:33:15,429 --> 00:33:18,732 [Kid Capri] Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Def Jam stage, 614 00:33:18,799 --> 00:33:21,635 Mr. Eddie Griffin! 615 00:33:30,110 --> 00:33:33,680 Damn, I look like a crack addict on that motherfucker. Heh! 616 00:33:33,747 --> 00:33:36,016 Motherfucker looked like he needed a couple of a sandwiches. 617 00:33:36,481 --> 00:33:41,452 Russell, I wanted to thank you, Stan Lathan and the whole Def Jam team. 618 00:33:41,522 --> 00:33:44,625 You see all these niggas in here that used to be broker than a motherfucker? 619 00:33:45,592 --> 00:33:47,027 You gave us a platform, 620 00:33:47,094 --> 00:33:49,863 'cause they wouldn't put us on The Tonight Show back then. 621 00:33:49,927 --> 00:33:52,363 We weren't getting on none of them motherfucking talk shows. 622 00:33:52,900 --> 00:33:55,969 But that first two years was some magical shit 623 00:33:56,036 --> 00:34:00,841 because all of us motherfuckers had been doing this shit for about five years, 624 00:34:00,908 --> 00:34:02,276 and nobody would put us on. 625 00:34:02,342 --> 00:34:05,212 So, when that first crop came out, nigga, we was ready. 626 00:34:05,279 --> 00:34:08,515 I ain't gonna talk about some of them motherfuckers that came after a nigga. 627 00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:10,548 You gotta get some quality control. 628 00:34:10,617 --> 00:34:12,819 You don't see them here 'cause shit didn't work out. 629 00:34:14,385 --> 00:34:17,422 And thank God comedy knows how to weed that shit out of there. 630 00:34:17,891 --> 00:34:20,227 Because that Def Jam audience will let your ass know: 631 00:34:20,294 --> 00:34:22,396 "Nigga, McDonald's is hollering. 632 00:34:22,462 --> 00:34:25,065 I think you need to flip a burger. This shit ain't for you." 633 00:34:26,333 --> 00:34:29,703 Ever since I did Def Jam, that shit changed my life. 634 00:34:29,770 --> 00:34:31,572 Martin came to me in The Comedy Store 635 00:34:31,638 --> 00:34:33,440 and said, "Nigga, you need to do Def Jam." 636 00:34:33,507 --> 00:34:35,142 I'm like, "I'm about to shoot my HBO special." 637 00:34:35,209 --> 00:34:36,643 He said, "Don't nobody know who you is. 638 00:34:36,710 --> 00:34:38,445 Do five minutes here, motherfuckers will know you." 639 00:34:38,512 --> 00:34:39,680 I said, "Damn, nigga. 640 00:34:41,448 --> 00:34:43,684 Heh! Why didn't I think of that shit?" 641 00:34:44,718 --> 00:34:47,888 Right? So, thank you, Martin. I appreciate that, brother. 642 00:34:47,955 --> 00:34:50,157 And then, after I did the show-- the shit aired-- 643 00:34:50,224 --> 00:34:51,825 every time I do a show to this motherfucking day, 644 00:34:51,889 --> 00:34:54,592 they keep on: "Eddie! Do Michael Jackson!" 645 00:34:55,162 --> 00:34:58,498 I'm gonna do Michael Jackson one more motherfucking time. 646 00:35:04,104 --> 00:35:05,939 All right, nigga, here it go. Shit. 647 00:35:08,242 --> 00:35:10,310 Too soon? Too soon? 648 00:35:10,377 --> 00:35:11,378 Too soon? 649 00:35:11,445 --> 00:35:12,880 [Eddie laughs] 650 00:35:12,946 --> 00:35:14,615 Get it? The nigga dead! 651 00:35:16,683 --> 00:35:18,185 Fuck y'all motherfuckers. 652 00:35:26,090 --> 00:35:26,958 Good night. 653 00:35:35,900 --> 00:35:37,001 I got to put this here. 654 00:35:38,071 --> 00:35:41,475 I love it when they give me something hard and black to work with. 655 00:35:41,542 --> 00:35:42,843 [crowd cheering] 656 00:35:42,910 --> 00:35:43,944 Oh! 657 00:35:46,747 --> 00:35:49,082 I forgot where the fuck I was! 658 00:35:49,750 --> 00:35:52,286 When you're looking good and you got it going on, 659 00:35:52,352 --> 00:35:55,088 there's nothing wrong with letting the brothers know 660 00:35:55,155 --> 00:35:57,124 that you got it going on. Okay? 661 00:35:57,191 --> 00:36:00,928 That's why when a man walk up to me, talkin' about, "Baby... 662 00:36:01,728 --> 00:36:03,797 what your name is?" 663 00:36:06,533 --> 00:36:09,636 Honey, I simply tell him, "Rent." 664 00:36:11,104 --> 00:36:13,574 This brother come up to me, talkin' about, "Mmm. 665 00:36:14,441 --> 00:36:17,811 I can do things to your body ain't no man ever done." 666 00:36:17,878 --> 00:36:19,313 I said, "Like what?" 667 00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:23,450 "I can make you come with my finger." 668 00:36:24,985 --> 00:36:27,821 I said, "Well, shit... I can do that!" 669 00:36:29,556 --> 00:36:32,259 If he got a dick like a hamster, he better have a tongue like a rattlesnake. 670 00:36:32,326 --> 00:36:33,460 Am I right? 671 00:36:33,527 --> 00:36:36,163 I like them niggas where I can pump them up and catch their ass. Pow! 672 00:36:37,297 --> 00:36:38,565 Holler at ya, nigga! 673 00:36:38,632 --> 00:36:40,133 Ha ha ha! 674 00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:42,402 I'll tear his ass up! Pow! Pow! 675 00:36:42,469 --> 00:36:43,670 [grunts] 676 00:36:43,737 --> 00:36:46,073 Y'all don't even know what a Pap smear is. 677 00:36:46,907 --> 00:36:49,376 I told my man, "I'm going to get a Pap smear." 678 00:36:49,443 --> 00:36:51,712 He's like, "Yeah, bring me one, no mustard." 679 00:36:52,513 --> 00:36:55,048 Y'all want to know: "Sheryl, have you ever fucked a white man?" 680 00:36:55,115 --> 00:36:57,351 Yes, I did. Once in my life. 681 00:36:57,417 --> 00:36:59,653 But that's because the rent was due. 682 00:37:02,990 --> 00:37:05,392 And that motherfucker was the landlord. 683 00:37:05,459 --> 00:37:07,961 But now I own the building! 684 00:37:09,563 --> 00:37:12,633 Oh, you want to get real nasty, huh? You want some of this? 685 00:37:12,699 --> 00:37:13,867 [thumping] 686 00:37:21,175 --> 00:37:23,577 The foot-fucking right there. That's good foot-fucking. 687 00:37:23,644 --> 00:37:27,314 Be careful, 'cause I will dunk on your motherfucking ass. 688 00:37:27,381 --> 00:37:30,050 So give a big bitch some love! 689 00:37:31,018 --> 00:37:32,753 [hip-hop music playing] 690 00:37:35,422 --> 00:37:37,658 [Kid Capri] Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage 691 00:37:37,724 --> 00:37:40,460 Tiffany Haddish, Melanie Comarcho, 692 00:37:40,527 --> 00:37:44,264 Sheryl Underwood and Adele Givens, y'all! 693 00:37:49,837 --> 00:37:50,971 Ha! 694 00:37:51,038 --> 00:37:53,674 I look up to these women. They paved the way for people like me. 695 00:37:53,740 --> 00:37:58,478 We all did Def Comedy Jam. But y'all did Def Comedy Jam! 696 00:37:58,545 --> 00:37:59,646 -Yo, yo! -Okay? 697 00:37:59,713 --> 00:38:02,950 Now, Sheryl, I want to ask you a question, okay? 698 00:38:03,016 --> 00:38:06,753 Do you think it was harder for women to get on Def Comedy Jam, to do it? 699 00:38:07,688 --> 00:38:11,425 No harder than the men, because if you couldn't get through the Peppermint, 700 00:38:11,491 --> 00:38:14,094 -you wasn't getting on Def Comedy Jam. -Woot woot! 701 00:38:14,161 --> 00:38:16,196 If you couldn't make it through the Peppermint Lounge-- 702 00:38:16,263 --> 00:38:19,566 I saw a lot of motherfuckers think they was really funny 703 00:38:19,633 --> 00:38:22,469 and get their face cracked at the Peppermint. 704 00:38:22,536 --> 00:38:24,204 You better ask somebody. 705 00:38:24,271 --> 00:38:25,672 What's the Peppermint? 706 00:38:25,739 --> 00:38:29,977 -The Peppermint Lounge in... -New Jersey. No joke. 707 00:38:30,043 --> 00:38:33,480 They would boo you from the outfit, from the intro. 708 00:38:33,547 --> 00:38:36,483 They would boo you-- You start your little jokey joke, 709 00:38:36,550 --> 00:38:38,318 you thought you were about to kill the game. 710 00:38:38,385 --> 00:38:40,687 They was worse than Showtime at the Apollo. 711 00:38:40,754 --> 00:38:42,189 Way worse. Scary. 712 00:38:42,256 --> 00:38:45,292 And Bill Bellamy was the damn host, with his pretty ass, 713 00:38:45,359 --> 00:38:47,027 so we thought we had a shot. 714 00:38:47,094 --> 00:38:48,195 Sure enough. 715 00:38:49,062 --> 00:38:53,567 Melanie, I want to ask you, how did Def Comedy Jam change your life? 716 00:38:53,634 --> 00:38:57,638 Oh, it's so amazing. Bob Sumner put me on the tour 717 00:38:57,704 --> 00:39:00,807 immediately following my first taping. 718 00:39:02,176 --> 00:39:04,678 I toured with the Def Jam for like, seven years, 719 00:39:04,745 --> 00:39:07,114 and after that, everybody started grabbing me. 720 00:39:07,181 --> 00:39:10,551 I did Martin Lawrence for eight years, I toured with Martin Lawrence. 721 00:39:10,617 --> 00:39:12,252 Thank you, Martin, for the love. 722 00:39:12,319 --> 00:39:15,622 Chris Tucker, Katt Williams, everybody brought me. 723 00:39:15,689 --> 00:39:20,527 I became the most toured comic in America. So that's what Def Jam did for me. 724 00:39:20,594 --> 00:39:23,463 She owns half of Hawthorne, y'all. She owns half of Hawthorne. 725 00:39:23,530 --> 00:39:25,432 When you talk about how it changed your life, 726 00:39:25,499 --> 00:39:30,304 Def Comedy Jam paid for my associate's, my bachelor's, my master's degree. 727 00:39:30,370 --> 00:39:32,206 And my abortion. 728 00:39:32,272 --> 00:39:34,374 Ha ha! I'm just kidding. 729 00:39:35,142 --> 00:39:36,977 That's a joke, it's a joke. Okay. 730 00:39:37,044 --> 00:39:39,446 And I have three doctorates. 731 00:39:39,513 --> 00:39:41,014 -Wow! -That's right. 732 00:39:41,081 --> 00:39:43,116 -Oh, yeah. -You better ask somebody. 733 00:39:43,183 --> 00:39:44,952 And I have a GED. 734 00:39:46,386 --> 00:39:48,155 I'm a bad bitch, too. 735 00:39:48,222 --> 00:39:49,556 -They paid for that, too, right? -Right. 736 00:39:49,623 --> 00:39:52,960 Well, Adele, I want to ask you, 737 00:39:53,026 --> 00:39:57,631 where did you get this saying, that you're such a fucking lady? 738 00:39:57,698 --> 00:39:58,899 How did that come about? 739 00:39:58,966 --> 00:40:00,968 I'll tell you exactly how it came about. 740 00:40:01,034 --> 00:40:05,405 Because there's a double standard in the world, as we know. 741 00:40:05,472 --> 00:40:08,809 -Men can do shit that women can't do. -Right. 742 00:40:08,876 --> 00:40:11,411 I would be out doing my stand-up, 743 00:40:11,478 --> 00:40:14,515 and then, when I get off, people-- even women would come to me 744 00:40:14,581 --> 00:40:17,751 and say, "You know, as a lady, you can't get away with this." 745 00:40:17,818 --> 00:40:20,153 And that expression was born. 746 00:40:20,220 --> 00:40:22,556 I'm like, "How the fuck I can't say 'suck a dick' 747 00:40:22,623 --> 00:40:24,791 but I can suck a dick? How could that work out?" 748 00:40:27,461 --> 00:40:30,364 My GED challenged that logic. 749 00:40:30,430 --> 00:40:31,932 That part. 750 00:40:31,999 --> 00:40:35,569 If I can suck a dick, I'm gonna say something. 751 00:40:35,636 --> 00:40:38,105 But I will tell you this. What you see on this stage 752 00:40:38,172 --> 00:40:39,573 and what you see on this audience, 753 00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:44,178 what you see with Laura Hayes and Sommore and all the women that came through... 754 00:40:44,244 --> 00:40:46,613 -Robin Montague. -So many. The names are long. 755 00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:49,583 What you can see is, if you put God first, 756 00:40:49,647 --> 00:40:54,885 and you let the Lord order your steps, you will make it. You will make it. 757 00:40:54,952 --> 00:40:57,288 When you let the Lord order it, you don't have to pay shipping and handling. 758 00:40:57,357 --> 00:40:59,626 And you don't have to sleep with nobody to get ahead. 759 00:40:59,693 --> 00:41:00,894 That's true. 760 00:41:00,961 --> 00:41:03,664 -And there you have it. -I refuse! 761 00:41:03,730 --> 00:41:07,634 -The fucking ladies of Def Comedy Jam! -You heard that! 762 00:41:09,002 --> 00:41:10,070 Stay woke. 763 00:41:14,842 --> 00:41:16,577 Yo, what's up? This is the homey Ice Cube. 764 00:41:16,643 --> 00:41:21,648 I want to say happy 25th anniversary to Def Comedy Jam. 765 00:41:21,715 --> 00:41:25,519 I get a lot of credit for discovering people 766 00:41:25,586 --> 00:41:26,987 with my Friday movies, 767 00:41:27,054 --> 00:41:32,426 but I wouldn't have ever seen Chris Tucker without Def Comedy Jam 768 00:41:32,492 --> 00:41:34,127 or Bernie Mac. 769 00:41:34,194 --> 00:41:38,265 Some of these guys that I get credited for discovering, 770 00:41:38,332 --> 00:41:40,868 I discovered them on Def Comedy Jam. 771 00:41:40,934 --> 00:41:43,837 It's just been a great institution for comedy. 772 00:41:45,072 --> 00:41:49,009 TV star, singing star, movie star-- he's from the 312-- 773 00:41:49,076 --> 00:41:51,545 who's at home on Brooklyn Nine-Nine! 774 00:41:51,612 --> 00:41:55,282 Coming to the stage, my dude, Craig Robinson, y'all! 775 00:41:58,249 --> 00:42:00,317 Everybody say, "That's what we do." 776 00:42:00,387 --> 00:42:01,989 [all] That's what we do! 777 00:42:02,055 --> 00:42:04,191 During Def Comedy Jam's run, 778 00:42:04,258 --> 00:42:07,294 literally hundreds of comedians performed thousands of hours 779 00:42:07,361 --> 00:42:09,196 of original comedy routines. 780 00:42:09,263 --> 00:42:12,733 So, when it came to the overwhelming task of wading through all that material 781 00:42:12,799 --> 00:42:15,969 and selecting the clips you're seeing here tonight, 782 00:42:16,036 --> 00:42:18,539 they needed to come up with an efficient system. 783 00:42:18,605 --> 00:42:19,640 So... 784 00:42:21,975 --> 00:42:26,580 some smart person developed this app. 785 00:42:26,647 --> 00:42:27,814 [beeps] 786 00:42:27,881 --> 00:42:29,983 Def Word Search app. 787 00:42:30,050 --> 00:42:32,686 It is able to search any word or phrase 788 00:42:32,753 --> 00:42:35,822 and immediately find every occurrence of it on the show. 789 00:42:35,889 --> 00:42:38,659 For instance-- Let's try something simple. 790 00:42:39,493 --> 00:42:44,231 Def Word, search "yachting." "Yachting." 791 00:42:44,298 --> 00:42:46,500 [computerized voice] Searching "yachting." 792 00:42:46,567 --> 00:42:48,802 I actually won a contest to be on Def Comedy Jam-- 793 00:42:48,869 --> 00:42:51,205 [computerized voice] Occurrences located. 794 00:42:51,268 --> 00:42:52,903 Okay, let's hear. 795 00:42:53,407 --> 00:42:54,541 Yachting! 796 00:43:02,950 --> 00:43:05,752 All right. I'm surprised there was one. Okay. 797 00:43:06,820 --> 00:43:09,223 Uh, let me see. Something, um-- 798 00:43:09,289 --> 00:43:11,258 That was a little random. Let's see something else. 799 00:43:12,226 --> 00:43:15,128 Def Word, search "baby momma." 800 00:43:16,063 --> 00:43:18,532 [computerized voice] Searching "baby momma." 801 00:43:18,599 --> 00:43:20,934 You know, the dominant/submissive relationship is interesting-- 802 00:43:21,001 --> 00:43:22,703 [computerized voice] Occurrences located. 803 00:43:24,571 --> 00:43:25,739 They found it. 804 00:43:25,806 --> 00:43:27,541 -Baby momma. -Baby momma. 805 00:43:27,608 --> 00:43:29,109 -Baby momma. -Baby momma. 806 00:43:31,709 --> 00:43:32,910 I thought there would've been more. 807 00:43:34,578 --> 00:43:37,681 One more and this time, what the hell, we might as well go for it, right? 808 00:43:38,852 --> 00:43:43,357 Def Word, search "muthafucka." 809 00:43:44,258 --> 00:43:46,593 [computerized voice] Searching "muthafucka." 810 00:43:47,861 --> 00:43:50,097 You ever have a cousin you were attracted to, 811 00:43:50,163 --> 00:43:51,164 but not like in a-- 812 00:43:51,231 --> 00:43:52,833 [computerized voice] Occurrences located. 813 00:43:56,136 --> 00:43:57,671 -Yo, muthafucka! -Muthafucka. 814 00:43:57,738 --> 00:43:59,339 -Muthafucka. -Muthafucka. 815 00:44:00,007 --> 00:44:02,776 -Muthafucka, thank you! -Hey, muthafucka, what's up? 816 00:44:02,843 --> 00:44:04,711 -Muthafuckin' money. -Muthafuckin' car. 817 00:44:04,778 --> 00:44:06,280 -Muthafuckin' house. -Muthafuckin' job. 818 00:44:06,346 --> 00:44:08,782 -Muthafuckin' neighborhood. -Muthafuckin' hand, man! 819 00:44:08,849 --> 00:44:11,818 -Muthafuckin' East Coast, son! -Go ahead, muthafucka! 820 00:44:11,885 --> 00:44:13,620 "H" to the muthafuckin' "A". 821 00:44:13,687 --> 00:44:15,289 Well, say something, muthafucka! 822 00:44:15,355 --> 00:44:16,890 -Muthafucka. -Muthafucka. 823 00:44:16,957 --> 00:44:19,593 You backward, trailer-park, inbred muthafuckas! 824 00:44:19,660 --> 00:44:21,862 Nigga, your nuts nicer than a muthafucka. 825 00:44:21,929 --> 00:44:24,064 -This muthafucka. -You patch-eyed muthafucka. 826 00:44:24,831 --> 00:44:27,034 Muthafucka, you gotta come better than that. 827 00:44:27,100 --> 00:44:28,268 Oh, shit, muthafucka. 828 00:44:28,335 --> 00:44:30,103 You got me hornier than a muthafucka, nigga. 829 00:44:30,170 --> 00:44:33,173 Muthafucka, where you goin'? I'm goin' to fuck your mother. 830 00:44:33,240 --> 00:44:35,509 I ain't your real mama, either, muthafucka. 831 00:44:36,210 --> 00:44:39,580 [computerized voice] Fuck, that was a lot of muthafuckin' occurrences. 832 00:44:40,914 --> 00:44:42,015 Wow. 833 00:44:42,082 --> 00:44:45,085 I'm glad I didn't say "nig--" Never mind. Anyway... 834 00:44:45,919 --> 00:44:49,089 You get the point. Def Comedy Jam was not for the squeamish. 835 00:44:49,156 --> 00:44:51,024 We didn't hold back. We brought it to you raw. 836 00:44:51,091 --> 00:44:53,193 We spoke from the heart and from the groin, 837 00:44:53,260 --> 00:44:54,928 'cause that's what we do. 838 00:44:56,230 --> 00:44:59,032 Women go to restaurants and lose their goddamn mind, man. 839 00:44:59,099 --> 00:45:00,767 They got to order from that expensive side of the menu, 840 00:45:00,834 --> 00:45:03,370 the side with the steak and the lobster and the Dom Pérignon. 841 00:45:03,437 --> 00:45:05,572 Guys like to give them that little warning, too. 842 00:45:05,639 --> 00:45:08,208 "Ooh, honey, you understand that's the 'fucking' side of the menu. 843 00:45:08,275 --> 00:45:09,276 You understand that. 844 00:45:10,744 --> 00:45:13,914 It's steak, lobster and dick. It is a combination." 845 00:45:14,748 --> 00:45:18,519 If a nigga really wanted to rape me, what can I really do? Be honest. 846 00:45:18,585 --> 00:45:22,723 If you get past my scuffle, that's it. I gotta take one for the team. 847 00:45:22,789 --> 00:45:25,859 That's all I got. If you get past my scuffle-- 848 00:45:25,926 --> 00:45:28,729 "Hey, get the fuck off, nigga. Hey, nigga! 849 00:45:28,795 --> 00:45:29,796 [grunts] 850 00:45:33,267 --> 00:45:34,234 Aah!" 851 00:45:34,301 --> 00:45:36,303 Ladies, you gotta start taking some responsibility 852 00:45:36,370 --> 00:45:38,172 for your own miserable life. 853 00:45:38,238 --> 00:45:39,740 If you're over 25 years old 854 00:45:39,806 --> 00:45:42,176 and still walking around here, talking about, "Niggas ain't shit," 855 00:45:42,242 --> 00:45:45,846 bitch, you need to grow the fuck up with your irresponsible ass. 856 00:45:45,913 --> 00:45:50,083 What you meant to say was all the niggas you fuck with ain't shit. 857 00:45:51,018 --> 00:45:54,755 That's right. You need to figure out what it is about your pussy 858 00:45:54,821 --> 00:45:56,890 that keeps attracting ain't-shit niggas. 859 00:45:56,957 --> 00:45:58,592 Might be ain't-shit pussy. 860 00:46:00,827 --> 00:46:05,199 [Kid Capri] Let's welcome to the stage, my man, Cedric the Entertainer! 861 00:46:05,933 --> 00:46:06,834 Yeah! 862 00:46:09,002 --> 00:46:11,772 What a night. Y'all having a great time tonight? 863 00:46:13,073 --> 00:46:14,474 Good. No doubt, man. 864 00:46:14,541 --> 00:46:17,845 You know what? During this time of racism and exclusion, 865 00:46:17,911 --> 00:46:20,147 Russell Simmons took a bold stand. 866 00:46:20,214 --> 00:46:22,983 He looked around and said TV needed diversity, 867 00:46:23,050 --> 00:46:24,384 so he reached out to see 868 00:46:24,451 --> 00:46:28,722 if there were any qualified white comics that were out there. 869 00:46:28,789 --> 00:46:30,357 And sure, there was some protest. 870 00:46:30,424 --> 00:46:33,026 All the black comics was like, "Hold up. Black comics only, Russell. 871 00:46:33,093 --> 00:46:36,396 You going too damn fast, bro. Slow down, you know?" 872 00:46:36,463 --> 00:46:38,332 But Russell had a dream. 873 00:46:38,398 --> 00:46:41,535 He said, "One day, this nation will rise up 874 00:46:43,504 --> 00:46:45,472 and live out the true meaning of his creed, 875 00:46:45,539 --> 00:46:49,243 that we hold these truths to be self-evident, 876 00:46:50,077 --> 00:46:54,381 that all comics are created equal, as long as they speak English." 877 00:46:54,448 --> 00:46:55,449 You know what I mean? 878 00:46:56,350 --> 00:47:00,687 Ladies and gentlemen, we found all of the white comics 879 00:47:01,622 --> 00:47:03,624 that's ever been on Def Jam. 880 00:47:04,121 --> 00:47:06,957 All of them, y'all. There they go right there. Right there. 881 00:47:07,027 --> 00:47:10,631 Honest John, Rich Vos. There they are. 882 00:47:10,694 --> 00:47:12,930 Niggas all love 'em! 883 00:47:13,433 --> 00:47:14,835 Shout out, man. Big up, man. 884 00:47:14,902 --> 00:47:17,104 There they go, the white comics of the Def Jam. 885 00:47:17,938 --> 00:47:19,139 Coming this fall. 886 00:47:19,940 --> 00:47:21,708 They would be the only motherfuckers to get a show. 887 00:47:21,775 --> 00:47:23,076 God damn it, I'm out of here. 888 00:47:24,211 --> 00:47:26,113 [hip-hop music playing] 889 00:47:32,986 --> 00:47:34,188 ♪ Def Comedy Jam ♪ 890 00:47:40,093 --> 00:47:43,297 Ladies and gentlemen, two performer/ Def Comedy Jam hosts, 891 00:47:43,363 --> 00:47:46,433 Mike Epps and Joe Torry! 892 00:47:46,500 --> 00:47:48,769 What. What. What. What. 893 00:47:48,836 --> 00:47:51,438 -What! -Hey, hey, hey, hey. 894 00:47:51,505 --> 00:47:55,042 -Hey, hey, hey, hey! -Hey, hey, hey! 895 00:47:55,108 --> 00:47:57,044 [laughs] 896 00:47:57,110 --> 00:47:58,512 You know how to do that shit? 897 00:47:58,579 --> 00:48:02,015 Yeah, man, that's some young kid shit right there. 898 00:48:02,079 --> 00:48:04,982 [scatting] 899 00:48:05,849 --> 00:48:07,784 You know, this audience right here, this ain't-- 900 00:48:07,855 --> 00:48:11,225 -this ain't no real Def Jam audience. -No. 901 00:48:11,291 --> 00:48:14,361 We came in, they had the real Def Jam audiences. 902 00:48:14,428 --> 00:48:18,332 Motherfuckers out there got up and was-- What were they doing? 903 00:48:18,398 --> 00:48:21,201 Falling all on the motherfucking floor. Yeah. 904 00:48:21,268 --> 00:48:23,237 Running across the room, slapping each other. 905 00:48:23,303 --> 00:48:25,339 Making a drink under their lap. 906 00:48:26,206 --> 00:48:29,443 Niggas was sneaking Courvoisier in the thing and everything. 907 00:48:29,510 --> 00:48:30,944 -You know what I'm saying? -Yeah. 908 00:48:31,011 --> 00:48:33,213 They had a bunch of security. Double security. 909 00:48:33,280 --> 00:48:35,816 Muslims was there, big dudes was there, the gorilla force. 910 00:48:35,883 --> 00:48:38,352 They was dressed fucked up. I don't know why you're here talking. 911 00:48:38,418 --> 00:48:40,954 You had a cowboy hat on, on Def Comedy Jam 912 00:48:41,722 --> 00:48:43,490 with some baby powder on his chest. 913 00:48:43,557 --> 00:48:45,559 This nigga out there looking like this. 914 00:48:47,294 --> 00:48:50,130 Motherfucker, didn't you start with some crimped cornrows, motherfucker? 915 00:48:50,931 --> 00:48:52,299 Then you just came out-- 916 00:48:52,366 --> 00:48:55,068 Now you got a beard covering up your shit 'cause it ain't like it used to be. 917 00:48:55,135 --> 00:48:56,537 Can't roll that shit up no more. 918 00:48:56,603 --> 00:48:58,739 You know, but we ain't gonna fuck with each other. 919 00:48:58,805 --> 00:49:01,675 We got enough motherfuckers out here we can fuck with. 920 00:49:01,742 --> 00:49:05,179 -That's what we was about. -We fucked with everybody. 921 00:49:05,245 --> 00:49:07,381 There was some people out there that wore fucked-up shit. 922 00:49:07,447 --> 00:49:09,349 If you ain't have no jokes, you could find some shit. 923 00:49:09,416 --> 00:49:10,817 Like this motherfucker. 924 00:49:10,884 --> 00:49:13,453 -God damn! -This big motherfucker right here. 925 00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:15,856 He played the spoons back in the day, god damn it. 926 00:49:15,923 --> 00:49:18,825 -You're too old for braces. -Yes, he is. 927 00:49:19,726 --> 00:49:22,996 And this nigga got a pajama top on right here. 928 00:49:23,063 --> 00:49:25,966 That's a pajama top. 'Cause I got the pants to the motherfucker. 929 00:49:26,033 --> 00:49:29,102 This nigga tried to sneak in with a pajama top on. 930 00:49:29,169 --> 00:49:31,338 He got on some Skechers 931 00:49:32,235 --> 00:49:33,804 and a Target sweatshirt. 932 00:49:35,042 --> 00:49:37,511 And there's a lot of ladies in here wearing bodysuits, 933 00:49:37,578 --> 00:49:40,214 -and they ain't got no body. -They ain't got no body! 934 00:49:41,215 --> 00:49:43,984 You're looking like a wrestler in this motherfucker. 935 00:49:44,047 --> 00:49:44,915 Hey. 936 00:49:47,384 --> 00:49:48,352 My-- 937 00:49:50,791 --> 00:49:53,327 They walk up in this motherfucker like this. 938 00:49:56,063 --> 00:49:58,732 I seen one of them put a skip on that motherfucker. 939 00:50:04,404 --> 00:50:07,040 -Russell, we just want to say thank you. -Thank you. 940 00:50:07,104 --> 00:50:09,706 Look how many millionaires you made in this room tonight. 941 00:50:09,773 --> 00:50:11,074 Yes, you did. 942 00:50:12,412 --> 00:50:16,416 And if it wasn't for you, Russell, a lot of us would be in the penitentiary. 943 00:50:16,483 --> 00:50:19,219 -You're damn right. -Including you. 944 00:50:19,282 --> 00:50:21,351 [laughing] 945 00:50:21,421 --> 00:50:23,123 Def Jam 25! 946 00:50:31,532 --> 00:50:32,499 [shouts] 947 00:50:35,936 --> 00:50:37,838 Forest Whitaker in the house. 948 00:50:38,906 --> 00:50:41,308 Rosie Perez in the house. What's up, Rosie? 949 00:50:41,375 --> 00:50:43,277 The Wu-Tang Clan, they're in the house. 950 00:50:44,845 --> 00:50:46,280 LL Cool J. 951 00:50:47,014 --> 00:50:48,081 Tisha Campbell. 952 00:50:48,148 --> 00:50:49,550 Malcolm-Jamal Warner. 953 00:50:49,616 --> 00:50:50,951 Lawrence Taylor! 954 00:50:51,818 --> 00:50:54,054 And Ice-T, yeah! 955 00:50:54,121 --> 00:50:56,156 Hey! Big Daddy Kane. 956 00:50:56,223 --> 00:50:58,192 ♪ Smooth operator ♪ 957 00:50:58,258 --> 00:51:00,327 Kid 'n Play, what's up? Thank you for coming out. 958 00:51:00,394 --> 00:51:03,163 Got my man over here, Flavor Flav. Look at him. 959 00:51:03,230 --> 00:51:05,232 Ain't nobody like Flavor Flav. Look. 960 00:51:05,299 --> 00:51:07,534 All right, nigga, sit your ass down. This is my show. 961 00:51:07,601 --> 00:51:09,269 [Martin laughing] 962 00:51:09,336 --> 00:51:11,772 Flav's so ugly, roaches do like this: "Daddy!" 963 00:51:14,775 --> 00:51:16,043 Wesley Snipes. 964 00:51:17,277 --> 00:51:18,612 Bad chocolate motherfucker, ain't he? 965 00:51:19,176 --> 00:51:22,079 Women can't leave your ass now, can they? I bet in the day, they used to dog you. 966 00:51:22,149 --> 00:51:24,017 "You ain't shit. Get your ass out of here. 967 00:51:24,718 --> 00:51:27,554 You little black motherfucker. Get the fuck out of here." 968 00:51:32,326 --> 00:51:35,863 We got Salt-N-Pepa, y'all, and Spinderella. 969 00:51:35,929 --> 00:51:37,264 Spike Lee, what's up, man? 970 00:51:37,727 --> 00:51:40,497 Spike put me in my first movie: Do the Right Thing. 971 00:51:40,567 --> 00:51:42,736 Motherfucker ain't employed me since. 972 00:51:45,839 --> 00:51:49,710 No, but you know I don't want to be in no more Spike Lee movies. 973 00:51:50,377 --> 00:51:51,912 "Spike, why I ain't in your movie?" "Fuck you." 974 00:51:54,515 --> 00:51:55,916 [Martin laughs] 975 00:51:56,950 --> 00:51:58,852 You're my sister. I love you. Come here. 976 00:51:59,419 --> 00:52:01,388 What the fuck's up? I know Big Bird is out of business, 977 00:52:01,455 --> 00:52:02,823 but what the fuck is up? 978 00:52:05,759 --> 00:52:07,961 [Kid Capri] Ladies and gentlemen, please give it up 979 00:52:08,028 --> 00:52:13,700 for the reigning king of controversy, my dude, Katt Williams, y'all! 980 00:52:23,940 --> 00:52:25,809 Good evening. Good evening. Uh... 981 00:52:27,381 --> 00:52:31,151 legally, y'all know I'm not allowed to make it to all the events, but... 982 00:52:34,388 --> 00:52:36,456 it's certainly a pleasure for me to be able to make this. 983 00:52:36,523 --> 00:52:40,727 Def Jam represented for us, so I gotta represent for them. 984 00:52:40,794 --> 00:52:42,496 I'm very excited about it. 985 00:52:42,563 --> 00:52:43,797 Uh... 986 00:52:43,864 --> 00:52:47,901 plus, if you're watching the news, you know about the stuff that's going on. 987 00:52:47,968 --> 00:52:52,439 You know that, uh, Trump is in there, and I was trying to figure it out. 988 00:52:53,774 --> 00:52:56,577 I realized it's some freaky white-boy shit. 989 00:52:56,643 --> 00:52:58,545 You know, um... 990 00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:02,616 the crazier it gets, the more it turns them on. 991 00:53:02,683 --> 00:53:05,719 You know that shit where they tie the belt around their neck 992 00:53:05,786 --> 00:53:10,524 and almost choke their dumb-ass self to death just so they can come? 993 00:53:10,591 --> 00:53:13,861 That's Trump in the White House for us. 994 00:53:16,930 --> 00:53:19,399 Erotic asphyxiation. 995 00:53:20,234 --> 00:53:23,403 We're just gonna keep fucking up until we come on North Korea's back, 996 00:53:23,470 --> 00:53:25,005 and that's gonna be the end of it. 997 00:53:27,407 --> 00:53:32,112 Now, I know that a lot of y'all feel like I go out of my way to find controversy. 998 00:53:32,179 --> 00:53:35,649 That is not true. Controversy waits in the bushes for me. 999 00:53:41,388 --> 00:53:45,826 But Satan and all shady motherfuckers are my enemy. 1000 00:53:45,893 --> 00:53:49,029 I don't run from the fight, I'm not scared of consequences. 1001 00:53:49,096 --> 00:53:53,400 Because if you're scared of consequences, then that breeds fear, 1002 00:53:53,467 --> 00:53:57,871 and fear means you're gonna stop. And we can't ever afford to stop. 1003 00:53:57,938 --> 00:54:01,775 And Def Comedy Jam was fearless, as we all should be. 1004 00:54:01,842 --> 00:54:03,010 God bless you. 1005 00:54:06,947 --> 00:54:08,849 [narrator] From the moment it hit the airwaves, 1006 00:54:08,916 --> 00:54:11,618 Def Comedy Jam was mired in controversy. 1007 00:54:11,685 --> 00:54:14,087 Many people who were part of the Civil Rights generation 1008 00:54:14,154 --> 00:54:15,889 couldn't stand the Def Comedy Jam. 1009 00:54:15,956 --> 00:54:18,792 They felt like this was pulling black people back. 1010 00:54:18,859 --> 00:54:21,361 We're trying to move forward, advance our civil rights agenda, 1011 00:54:21,428 --> 00:54:22,796 our national agenda, 1012 00:54:22,863 --> 00:54:25,666 and having niggas on camera going, "Motherfucker" 1013 00:54:25,732 --> 00:54:27,234 and acting like they're fucking people all the time 1014 00:54:27,301 --> 00:54:28,969 was not part of their agenda. 1015 00:54:29,036 --> 00:54:31,638 I know I got to do a few proverbial "fuck you's" 1016 00:54:31,705 --> 00:54:33,373 to make some of y'all feel at home. 1017 00:54:34,408 --> 00:54:36,376 So... fuck you. 1018 00:54:38,145 --> 00:54:39,246 Fuck you. 1019 00:54:40,247 --> 00:54:41,548 Fuck you. 1020 00:54:41,615 --> 00:54:43,083 And you fuck me. 1021 00:54:44,918 --> 00:54:47,521 These curse words-- we say them all the time. 1022 00:54:47,588 --> 00:54:50,190 They just add to our expression. 1023 00:54:50,257 --> 00:54:53,393 I know how to fuck. 'Cause you know what? My legs be open so much, 1024 00:54:53,460 --> 00:54:55,929 my IUD picks up cable channels, god damn it. 1025 00:54:57,631 --> 00:55:00,734 [Nelson] The Def Comedy Jam had many female comedians on it. 1026 00:55:00,801 --> 00:55:06,340 The perception of so many of its critics was that it was sexist and misogynistic. 1027 00:55:06,406 --> 00:55:09,376 Every lady in here, clap if you'll suck a man's dick for $4 million. 1028 00:55:09,443 --> 00:55:10,544 [applause] 1029 00:55:12,379 --> 00:55:14,314 Now, you know what? All y'all should be clapping, 1030 00:55:14,381 --> 00:55:16,750 because I know some of y'all probably sucking dick for a Happy Meal. 1031 00:55:19,953 --> 00:55:22,289 The comedians were honest in the way they expressed their art, 1032 00:55:22,356 --> 00:55:23,957 and people got uncomfortable, 1033 00:55:24,024 --> 00:55:27,561 but it was their truth that we were expressing, as well as our own. 1034 00:55:27,628 --> 00:55:29,830 The thing that makes me most proud of Def Comedy Jam 1035 00:55:29,897 --> 00:55:35,702 is that this platform got these people to go up on stage in front of the world 1036 00:55:35,769 --> 00:55:37,905 and tell the truth and get applauded for it. 1037 00:55:37,971 --> 00:55:41,341 If you understood it, then it would ring a bell for you. 1038 00:55:41,805 --> 00:55:44,808 And if you didn't harbor hate for these people, 1039 00:55:45,342 --> 00:55:48,611 you learned some sympathy or some compassion 1040 00:55:48,682 --> 00:55:50,250 or just laughed with them. 1041 00:55:53,120 --> 00:55:56,890 [Kid Capri] Here are D.L. Hughley and Dave Chappelle! 1042 00:55:58,425 --> 00:56:01,361 Now, a comedian has two jobs: 1043 00:56:01,428 --> 00:56:04,431 First and foremost, and most importantly, they gotta make a lot of money. 1044 00:56:04,498 --> 00:56:07,401 They gotta do that. And then they gotta be funny. 1045 00:56:07,467 --> 00:56:11,905 [laughing] All right, that's your-- that's your priorities. 1046 00:56:17,344 --> 00:56:19,780 But we're not here to offend our audiences, 1047 00:56:19,847 --> 00:56:22,583 but we're not here to protect their feelings, either. 1048 00:56:22,649 --> 00:56:25,185 Sometimes, when you're expressing the thoughts of the minority, 1049 00:56:25,252 --> 00:56:28,021 you run the risk of being rejected by the majority, 1050 00:56:28,088 --> 00:56:30,224 but that rejection should not be the reason you stop. 1051 00:56:30,290 --> 00:56:32,092 It should be an inspiration for you to continue, 1052 00:56:32,159 --> 00:56:33,227 unless your shit ain't funny, 1053 00:56:33,293 --> 00:56:36,129 in which case you should probably just shut the fuck up. That's-- 1054 00:56:36,196 --> 00:56:39,099 I wish you had said that before my third season. 1055 00:56:42,102 --> 00:56:44,771 Now, freedom of speech means you say what you want, 1056 00:56:44,838 --> 00:56:46,773 and you're willing to deal with the consequences. 1057 00:56:46,840 --> 00:56:48,675 You could say whatever you wanted to your mama, 1058 00:56:48,742 --> 00:56:51,612 as long as you were willing to get the taste slapped out your mouth. 1059 00:56:51,678 --> 00:56:52,913 Ha ha! 1060 00:56:52,980 --> 00:56:54,982 And what Def Comedy Jam was always willing to do 1061 00:56:55,048 --> 00:56:58,151 was to take the heat, the criticism and the hate, 1062 00:56:58,218 --> 00:57:03,257 because that's just basically... being black in America. 1063 00:57:03,323 --> 00:57:04,391 [hip-hop music playing] 1064 00:57:04,458 --> 00:57:05,559 That's it. 1065 00:57:07,361 --> 00:57:09,596 Wait, Stan, let me do that again. 1066 00:57:12,366 --> 00:57:15,469 That's just a weird line: "That's just basically being black in America." 1067 00:57:15,536 --> 00:57:17,171 [vocalizing hip-hop music] 1068 00:57:26,013 --> 00:57:29,583 If we told them what being black in America is, 1069 00:57:30,384 --> 00:57:32,186 would they believe us? 1070 00:57:33,287 --> 00:57:37,157 Oh, this is not for television. This is just for us in the room. 1071 00:57:37,224 --> 00:57:39,493 I'll ask again more succinctly. 1072 00:57:39,560 --> 00:57:44,932 If we told them what it was, would they believe us? 1073 00:57:44,998 --> 00:57:46,733 -[man] No! -[woman] They wouldn't! 1074 00:57:46,800 --> 00:57:47,968 Fuck no, they wouldn't. 1075 00:57:48,035 --> 00:57:52,539 Nigga, there's a fucking white supremacist starter kit at Target. 1076 00:57:53,407 --> 00:57:57,845 "Yeah, let me get some tiki torches, some khaki pants and fucked-up haircut. 1077 00:57:57,911 --> 00:58:00,013 I got something going on next week." 1078 00:58:01,177 --> 00:58:03,012 It's real right now. 1079 00:58:07,221 --> 00:58:09,456 And have we seen it all before? 1080 00:58:09,523 --> 00:58:10,757 Yep! 1081 00:58:11,925 --> 00:58:15,395 So I'm gonna read that last line again. And, Kid Capri, maybe-- 1082 00:58:16,864 --> 00:58:18,732 maybe a song that's a little less happy. 1083 00:58:18,799 --> 00:58:20,434 [vocalizing hip-hop music] 1084 00:58:22,569 --> 00:58:25,005 I'm fucking around, Stan. I'm just busting your balls. 1085 00:58:25,568 --> 00:58:27,036 You can leave this in, too. 1086 00:58:30,511 --> 00:58:32,846 It's a reunion. I was drinking backstage. 1087 00:58:34,548 --> 00:58:36,316 All right, let me get my teleprompter-- 1088 00:58:36,383 --> 00:58:38,151 You know why I was wearing glasses all night? 1089 00:58:38,218 --> 00:58:41,455 Because my eyes cross when I read. But here we go. 1090 00:58:43,423 --> 00:58:44,725 [exhales deeply] 1091 00:58:46,593 --> 00:58:48,729 [chuckling] 1092 00:58:50,831 --> 00:58:54,201 -We should be taping this shit right here. -No, I'm serious. 1093 00:58:54,268 --> 00:58:57,304 When I went to high school-- Not in high school, in elementary school, 1094 00:58:57,967 --> 00:59:01,337 they'd make us all read out loud in a circle. 1095 00:59:02,109 --> 00:59:04,111 Whenever it was my turn, the other kids would be like... 1096 00:59:04,178 --> 00:59:05,445 [sighing] 1097 00:59:06,747 --> 00:59:09,449 Because it's-- So I've been nervous all night. 1098 00:59:09,516 --> 00:59:10,851 I'm not scared of the crowd. 1099 00:59:10,918 --> 00:59:13,587 It's just like, what do I gotta do? Read?! 1100 00:59:15,589 --> 00:59:18,192 I read good as shit by myself. 1101 00:59:23,997 --> 00:59:27,501 If I could have complete silence from the audience, please. 1102 00:59:30,437 --> 00:59:32,306 Hey, let me lead you in. 1103 00:59:32,372 --> 00:59:34,708 All these goddamn letters is just coming at me, nigga. 1104 00:59:34,775 --> 00:59:35,776 They're just coming at me like... 1105 00:59:37,611 --> 00:59:39,980 -All right. -Go ahead. I got them now. 1106 00:59:40,047 --> 00:59:42,883 I got them. I can say a lot of things that I can't spell. 1107 00:59:43,680 --> 00:59:45,415 -[D.L.] All right. -[sighs] 1108 00:59:45,481 --> 00:59:48,251 [both laugh] 1109 00:59:48,322 --> 00:59:50,257 I'm looking like I'm about to jump in. Go ahead, D.L. 1110 00:59:52,459 --> 00:59:55,329 All right, freedom of speech means you can say what you want 1111 00:59:55,395 --> 00:59:57,431 as long as you're willing to deal with the consequences. 1112 00:59:57,497 --> 00:59:59,700 You could talk to your mama any kind you want-- 1113 00:59:59,762 --> 01:00:01,698 See? You got me fucked up now. 1114 01:00:02,269 --> 01:00:04,905 This shit is spreading like Ebola. 1115 01:00:06,406 --> 01:00:07,908 This fucking-- 1116 01:00:07,975 --> 01:00:10,577 Look at the white people. "We knew it." 1117 01:00:11,612 --> 01:00:14,882 -"You put those two darkies together!" -"Give me that goddamn script!" 1118 01:00:16,416 --> 01:00:19,486 But we still talk better than Russell. That's all the fuck I know. 1119 01:00:19,553 --> 01:00:22,055 We still do. I'm just-- 1120 01:00:24,291 --> 01:00:26,627 Freedom of speech means you can say what you want 1121 01:00:26,693 --> 01:00:28,595 as long as you're willing to deal with the consequences. 1122 01:00:28,662 --> 01:00:30,130 -Consequences?! -Yes. 1123 01:00:37,037 --> 01:00:38,839 This motherfucker here. 1124 01:00:40,174 --> 01:00:42,109 And repercussions. 1125 01:00:43,610 --> 01:00:45,479 All right, let's go back. 1126 01:00:45,546 --> 01:00:47,614 -My bad. -No, keep doing it. 1127 01:00:47,681 --> 01:00:51,718 This is the best shit I've done all night. I'm happy as fuck. This is great. 1128 01:00:52,286 --> 01:00:53,620 What's up, Flex? 1129 01:00:55,088 --> 01:00:56,890 Wait, let me give a shout-out to Earthquake, 1130 01:00:56,953 --> 01:00:59,689 who's one of my favorite comics in the fucking world. I love you. 1131 01:01:00,160 --> 01:01:02,796 Earthquake? Oh! What's up, Earthquake? 1132 01:01:04,498 --> 01:01:06,333 The champs are here. What's up? 1133 01:01:06,400 --> 01:01:09,369 Earthquake, help us read. Don't be like that. Don't sit there. 1134 01:01:10,099 --> 01:01:11,401 Freedom of speech means-- 1135 01:01:11,471 --> 01:01:12,472 Wait! 1136 01:01:13,907 --> 01:01:15,642 Hello, Bruce Bruce. 1137 01:01:16,172 --> 01:01:17,006 Oh, yes. 1138 01:01:19,112 --> 01:01:21,915 -And Alex Thomas, hello to you, too. -Alex Thomas in the motherfucker. 1139 01:01:21,982 --> 01:01:24,284 -And Joe. -Oh, and Rudy Rush. 1140 01:01:24,351 --> 01:01:25,686 New Yorkers in this motherfucker. 1141 01:01:25,752 --> 01:01:27,621 And you are the most conscious brother in here. 1142 01:01:27,688 --> 01:01:31,592 I'm telling you, you make me proud. You do. 1143 01:01:31,658 --> 01:01:33,660 -Hey, Jesse. -Jesse, yeah. 1144 01:01:33,727 --> 01:01:34,962 Come up here and say something 1145 01:01:35,028 --> 01:01:37,598 that'll make white people feel terrible for 20 minutes. 1146 01:01:45,334 --> 01:01:46,636 Yo! 1147 01:01:48,705 --> 01:01:49,605 Yeah? 1148 01:01:50,073 --> 01:01:52,875 Jesse, you bodied them on BET. 1149 01:01:53,747 --> 01:01:55,749 -Bodied them. -We woke now. 1150 01:01:55,816 --> 01:01:59,887 If only white people watched BET, nigga, they would've got an earful. 1151 01:02:02,956 --> 01:02:04,858 I know they do, Debra. I know they do. 1152 01:02:06,489 --> 01:02:10,393 -[D.L.] Oh. Ohh. -[mutters] 1153 01:02:12,995 --> 01:02:15,031 All right, let's hurry up. The bar is closing soon. 1154 01:02:15,102 --> 01:02:18,172 No, we're fine, man. There's plenty of tape. 1155 01:02:22,342 --> 01:02:23,377 All right. 1156 01:02:24,178 --> 01:02:25,779 All right, here we go. For real. 1157 01:02:25,846 --> 01:02:27,748 I hate reading, I always have. 1158 01:02:28,077 --> 01:02:30,246 I hated Schoolhouse Rock. I hated it all. 1159 01:02:31,718 --> 01:02:33,987 -I used to love Schoolhouse Rock. -I never. 1160 01:02:34,054 --> 01:02:37,791 As a matter of fact, the only reason I understand what's happening on the news 1161 01:02:37,858 --> 01:02:39,927 is because of Schoolhouse Rock. 1162 01:02:41,228 --> 01:02:43,130 ♪ I'm just a bill ♪ 1163 01:02:43,197 --> 01:02:46,233 ♪ Yes, I'm only a bill ♪ 1164 01:02:46,300 --> 01:02:50,737 ♪ And I'm sitting here on Capitol Hill ♪ 1165 01:02:50,804 --> 01:02:52,005 That's it! That's all I know! 1166 01:02:55,242 --> 01:02:57,811 We actually know that better than the black national anthem. 1167 01:02:57,874 --> 01:02:59,442 Ain't that fucked up? 1168 01:02:59,980 --> 01:03:03,250 ♪ Lift every voice ♪ 1169 01:03:03,317 --> 01:03:06,119 ♪ And sing ♪ 1170 01:03:06,186 --> 01:03:12,192 ♪ Till earth and heaven ring ♪ 1171 01:03:12,259 --> 01:03:17,197 ♪ Ring with the harmonies ♪ 1172 01:03:17,264 --> 01:03:18,732 This is the part where everybody hums. 1173 01:03:18,799 --> 01:03:23,570 -[humming] -♪ Of liberty ♪ 1174 01:03:23,637 --> 01:03:24,705 [D.L. laughs] 1175 01:03:24,771 --> 01:03:31,211 ♪ Let our rejoicing rise high ♪ 1176 01:03:31,278 --> 01:03:36,850 -♪ As the listening sky ♪ -I don't know this. 1177 01:03:36,917 --> 01:03:38,919 [crowd continues singing] 1178 01:03:40,521 --> 01:03:42,856 I'm not the singer. I know every word. 1179 01:03:42,923 --> 01:03:45,692 -Joe. -[D.L.] Joe, don't be like that. 1180 01:03:46,355 --> 01:03:49,625 Joe, can't you sing something that's not about pussy for once?! 1181 01:03:57,905 --> 01:03:58,906 [D.L.] Ohh! 1182 01:03:58,972 --> 01:04:01,008 ♪ I don't want to be a player-- ♪ I'm fucking around with you. 1183 01:04:02,976 --> 01:04:04,077 All right, all right. 1184 01:04:04,144 --> 01:04:05,812 "All the things your man won't do." 1185 01:04:05,879 --> 01:04:07,548 I say all this to say 1186 01:04:07,614 --> 01:04:10,551 I go to great lengths not to read in public. 1187 01:04:12,286 --> 01:04:13,554 Here we go, D.L. 1188 01:04:13,620 --> 01:04:15,155 [D.L. sighs] 1189 01:04:15,222 --> 01:04:17,891 Hold up, hold up. Where's the production manager? 1190 01:04:17,958 --> 01:04:19,092 Count us in. 1191 01:04:20,194 --> 01:04:21,361 Give us a three-two-one. 1192 01:04:21,428 --> 01:04:23,697 -[man on PA] Stand by. -All right, standing by. 1193 01:04:23,764 --> 01:04:26,333 -And he really did it, too. -They're gonna get us right. 1194 01:04:26,400 --> 01:04:31,505 [man on PA] Five, three, one, seven, four. 1195 01:04:32,673 --> 01:04:35,843 I didn't know you went to public school, too, motherfucker! Goddamn! 1196 01:04:36,677 --> 01:04:39,646 That sounded normal to me. That's what's fucked up. 1197 01:04:41,014 --> 01:04:43,016 It was all odd numbers. 1198 01:04:43,083 --> 01:04:44,484 Five, seven, one. 1199 01:04:45,219 --> 01:04:46,787 Just say "one," motherfucker. 1200 01:04:48,388 --> 01:04:49,823 [man on PA] One, motherfucker. 1201 01:04:51,091 --> 01:04:52,459 [all laughing] 1202 01:04:52,526 --> 01:04:54,394 [microphone thumping] 1203 01:04:55,796 --> 01:04:57,364 All right, now. 1204 01:04:59,733 --> 01:05:02,202 Oh! Ohh! 1205 01:05:02,269 --> 01:05:04,905 You should've been on Def Jam. God damn. 1206 01:05:06,573 --> 01:05:09,042 Freedom of speech means you can say what you want 1207 01:05:09,109 --> 01:05:10,878 as long as you're willing to deal with the consequences. 1208 01:05:10,944 --> 01:05:11,879 Right. 1209 01:05:11,945 --> 01:05:14,748 Like, you can talk however you want to, to your mama when you was a kid 1210 01:05:14,815 --> 01:05:16,950 as long as you were willing to get the taste slapped out of your mouth. 1211 01:05:17,017 --> 01:05:19,686 Right. My mother didn't-- she didn't hit. 1212 01:05:19,753 --> 01:05:20,754 Anyway... 1213 01:05:29,596 --> 01:05:33,333 What Def Comedy Jam was always willing to do 1214 01:05:34,168 --> 01:05:38,772 was take the heat, the criticism and the hate. 1215 01:05:38,839 --> 01:05:43,744 Because basically, that's just called being black in America. 1216 01:05:43,810 --> 01:05:45,245 [cheers and applause] 1217 01:05:47,047 --> 01:05:49,950 The first time I ever heard of Def Comedy Jam 1218 01:05:50,017 --> 01:05:53,620 was when my cousin brought me a VHS cassette of a compilation. 1219 01:05:53,687 --> 01:05:58,525 I think it was two or three episodes. And he said, "You need to watch this." 1220 01:05:58,592 --> 01:06:01,695 The only stand-up I'd ever seen until that point was Eddie Murphy. 1221 01:06:01,762 --> 01:06:03,864 And then Def Comedy Jam came into my life, 1222 01:06:03,931 --> 01:06:08,936 and I was like, "This is the blackest, craziest thing I've ever seen in my life," 1223 01:06:09,002 --> 01:06:12,005 and it was amazing. 1224 01:06:12,072 --> 01:06:16,443 You can imagine living in a country where you don't have access to free speech 1225 01:06:16,510 --> 01:06:19,479 and growing up in a world where everything is censored, 1226 01:06:19,546 --> 01:06:22,149 and then all of a sudden, one day you're exposed to everything, 1227 01:06:22,216 --> 01:06:23,851 and you think it's everything, 1228 01:06:23,917 --> 01:06:27,287 and then Bernie Mac comes onto the stage and is like, 1229 01:06:27,354 --> 01:06:29,623 "I ain't scared of you motherfuckers. Huh!" 1230 01:06:29,690 --> 01:06:31,992 And you're just like, "Wait, what's going on here?" 1231 01:06:32,059 --> 01:06:35,762 It was fearless, and it was boundless, 1232 01:06:35,829 --> 01:06:38,699 and it was an injection that completely changed how I, 1233 01:06:38,765 --> 01:06:41,869 and maybe many other comedians in South Africa, saw stand-up comedy. 1234 01:06:41,935 --> 01:06:44,471 I'm not an American, I didn't grow up as an American, 1235 01:06:44,538 --> 01:06:47,574 but I realized that there was a common experience 1236 01:06:47,641 --> 01:06:49,309 that connected all of us as people. 1237 01:06:49,376 --> 01:06:52,913 I think one of the things Def Comedy Jam exposed me to 1238 01:06:52,980 --> 01:06:54,648 was not the curse words, 1239 01:06:54,715 --> 01:06:59,119 but the creativity of how the curse words were used, you know? 1240 01:06:59,186 --> 01:07:03,023 I always knew the word "shit." I never knew the word "sheee-it." 1241 01:07:03,090 --> 01:07:05,759 It's different. It's not the same thing. 1242 01:07:05,826 --> 01:07:10,764 There was a flourish of language that existed in Def Comedy Jam 1243 01:07:10,831 --> 01:07:14,168 that created a new form of expression at times. 1244 01:07:14,234 --> 01:07:16,737 Like, "bitch" could mean five different things. 1245 01:07:16,803 --> 01:07:21,308 I don't know if I ever knew "motherfucker" before Def Comedy Jam. 1246 01:07:21,375 --> 01:07:24,244 And it was even "mother--" It was "mu'fucka." 1247 01:07:25,012 --> 01:07:27,814 There was no "t-h." It was just "mu'fucka." 1248 01:07:27,881 --> 01:07:30,918 "This mu'fucka right here. Sheee-it." 1249 01:07:32,052 --> 01:07:34,154 Def Comedy Jam would not be complete 1250 01:07:34,221 --> 01:07:37,491 without paying respects to those who's gone too soon. 1251 01:07:49,570 --> 01:07:53,340 Parents, if your four-year-old child can't talk, 1252 01:07:53,407 --> 01:07:55,409 but can do the Tootsee Roll... 1253 01:07:56,743 --> 01:08:00,180 your ass is ghetto. 1254 01:08:00,948 --> 01:08:02,649 Remember that shit, the don't-cry method? 1255 01:08:03,517 --> 01:08:05,085 Your mother whupping you, you're going like this... 1256 01:08:05,152 --> 01:08:08,121 "Ohh. Heh heh. Heh. Ha. 1257 01:08:08,188 --> 01:08:10,724 Ohh! Heh. Mmm. 1258 01:08:10,791 --> 01:08:12,626 Ahh! Ha ha. Ooh. 1259 01:08:12,693 --> 01:08:15,829 ♪ Every step I take ♪ 1260 01:08:17,030 --> 01:08:20,534 ♪ Every move I make ♪ 1261 01:08:21,134 --> 01:08:25,472 ♪ Every single day Every time I pray ♪ 1262 01:08:25,539 --> 01:08:27,975 ♪ I'll be missing you ♪ 1263 01:08:28,041 --> 01:08:29,476 I want a girl-- When she sucks my dick, 1264 01:08:29,543 --> 01:08:31,945 I want her to look like an ugly motherfucker 1265 01:08:32,579 --> 01:08:34,147 playing dice. 1266 01:08:34,214 --> 01:08:37,818 ♪ Thinking of the day ♪ 1267 01:08:38,685 --> 01:08:42,189 ♪ When you went away ♪ 1268 01:08:42,823 --> 01:08:47,160 ♪ What a life to take What a bond to break ♪ 1269 01:08:47,227 --> 01:08:50,531 ♪ I'll be missing you ♪ 1270 01:08:51,431 --> 01:08:54,801 I thought there ought to be a law against two ugly people fucking. 1271 01:08:56,103 --> 01:08:58,639 You'll bring another ugly motherfucker in the world. 1272 01:08:58,705 --> 01:09:00,474 "Ha ha ha ha! 1273 01:09:01,441 --> 01:09:03,777 Oh, you know I'm gonna be giving it to you, girl." 1274 01:09:03,844 --> 01:09:04,912 And they go right to work. 1275 01:09:04,978 --> 01:09:07,114 [grunting] 1276 01:09:07,181 --> 01:09:09,917 You be like, "Damn, go on with your ugly self." 1277 01:09:11,652 --> 01:09:14,188 But to be honest, I don't have sex anymore. 1278 01:09:14,254 --> 01:09:16,657 I'm scared of AIDS. I took the AIDS test. 1279 01:09:16,723 --> 01:09:17,891 I got a 65. 1280 01:09:17,958 --> 01:09:21,995 ♪ Every single day Every time I pray ♪ 1281 01:09:22,062 --> 01:09:24,932 ♪ I'll be missing you ♪ 1282 01:09:33,640 --> 01:09:36,343 When you think Def Comedy Jam, you think Martin, 1283 01:09:36,410 --> 01:09:37,978 -you think Adele, -Yes. 1284 01:09:38,045 --> 01:09:40,514 -and you think Bernie Mac. -Yeah, man. 1285 01:09:40,581 --> 01:09:42,316 Yeah, indeed. 1286 01:09:43,784 --> 01:09:46,019 [impersonating Bernie] Bernie motherfuckin' Mac. 1287 01:09:46,086 --> 01:09:47,087 Come on. 1288 01:09:47,154 --> 01:09:49,356 Hold up one motherfuckin' minute. 1289 01:09:50,290 --> 01:09:52,492 To get some milk and cookies. 1290 01:09:53,894 --> 01:09:55,362 A legend right there, man. 1291 01:09:55,429 --> 01:09:57,030 Bernie was so confident in himself. 1292 01:09:57,097 --> 01:09:59,466 This motherfucker wore his face on his pants 1293 01:09:59,533 --> 01:10:01,335 so that everybody knew who he was. 1294 01:10:01,797 --> 01:10:05,401 Oh, all his suits. He had his suits. It was a cornucopia of colors. 1295 01:10:05,472 --> 01:10:08,108 He had colors they didn't even have in the crayon box. 1296 01:10:08,942 --> 01:10:12,779 He was great. He always had great little sayings that we always-- 1297 01:10:12,846 --> 01:10:16,750 Bernie would walk up to you and go, "You know I walk alone. 1298 01:10:16,817 --> 01:10:18,819 All of us are together, but I walk alone. 1299 01:10:19,920 --> 01:10:23,123 I'm on the 50-yard line, but it's first and goal. 1300 01:10:23,190 --> 01:10:25,225 [laughing] 1301 01:10:25,292 --> 01:10:28,629 It takes two to tango, but four to Cabbage Patch." 1302 01:10:28,695 --> 01:10:32,733 You'd be like, "What, nigga? That don't make no goddamn sense, Bernie." 1303 01:10:35,002 --> 01:10:39,373 Bernie-- let me tell you, before the show every night, 1304 01:10:39,439 --> 01:10:41,308 we smoked cigars. 1305 01:10:41,375 --> 01:10:42,876 And we used to exchange them. 1306 01:10:42,943 --> 01:10:45,646 Bernie would bring his favorite, we'd switch cigars. 1307 01:10:45,712 --> 01:10:49,216 But you got a fine for smoking in the arenas. 1308 01:10:49,283 --> 01:10:51,818 'Cause we were selling out basketball arenas. 1309 01:10:51,885 --> 01:10:56,857 So, we would just pay the fine, 'cause we're gonna smoke the cigars. 1310 01:10:56,924 --> 01:10:59,693 So, we would send the money ahead. 1311 01:10:59,760 --> 01:11:02,529 Just: "Shit, here. Five thousand, whatever you want." 1312 01:11:02,596 --> 01:11:03,697 'Cause we're smoking. 1313 01:11:04,398 --> 01:11:07,467 So, one time, we was in the locker room, 1314 01:11:07,534 --> 01:11:09,670 'cause we was playing somewhere, big theater. 1315 01:11:09,736 --> 01:11:11,004 -It was Houston. -Houston? 1316 01:11:11,071 --> 01:11:15,809 And the fire marshal came in and said, "Hey, excuse me, excuse me. 1317 01:11:16,977 --> 01:11:19,713 You gotta put those cigars out. There's no smoking in here." 1318 01:11:20,380 --> 01:11:24,551 I said, "Well, hey, man, we did-- we paid the fine." 1319 01:11:28,856 --> 01:11:31,525 "What do you mean, you've paid the fine?" 1320 01:11:31,592 --> 01:11:34,094 I said, "We just-- we sent it in." 1321 01:11:34,161 --> 01:11:35,629 So, he said, "Listen to me. 1322 01:11:35,696 --> 01:11:38,232 Just one of you guys come over here. I want to talk to you." 1323 01:11:38,298 --> 01:11:39,833 And he picked Bernie. 1324 01:11:42,002 --> 01:11:43,737 This white dude was over there, 1325 01:11:43,804 --> 01:11:46,974 and Bernie was talking to him for two straight minutes. 1326 01:11:47,040 --> 01:11:49,943 You could see the dude's head about to explode, 1327 01:11:50,010 --> 01:11:52,179 'cause he didn't know shit Bernie was saying. 1328 01:11:52,246 --> 01:11:53,947 'Cause Bernie was just doing Bernie. 1329 01:11:54,014 --> 01:11:56,049 [muttering] 1330 01:11:56,116 --> 01:11:58,318 And the white dude, when he got through, he just said, 1331 01:11:58,385 --> 01:12:01,121 "You guys just go ahead and smoke your cigars. You'll be fine." 1332 01:12:03,724 --> 01:12:06,093 We was on tour for three years, didn't understand one word he said, 1333 01:12:06,159 --> 01:12:07,327 so I know-- 1334 01:12:07,394 --> 01:12:10,264 -But Bernie, for us, man... -Yeah, man. 1335 01:12:10,330 --> 01:12:12,466 -Bernie was our king. -For sure. 1336 01:12:12,533 --> 01:12:15,102 Bernie Mac was our favorite. 1337 01:12:15,769 --> 01:12:18,138 Bernie Mac meant something to us. 1338 01:12:19,873 --> 01:12:24,811 He was the one of us that we all sat around the monitors to watch. 1339 01:12:25,579 --> 01:12:27,781 'Cause, you know, Bernie closed this show. 1340 01:12:27,848 --> 01:12:29,049 And we'd watch each other, 1341 01:12:29,116 --> 01:12:31,652 but when Bernie went onstage, it was different. 1342 01:12:31,714 --> 01:12:32,881 We went out there to see it. 1343 01:12:32,948 --> 01:12:36,318 We all were stand-ups, but we was in love with Mac, 1344 01:12:36,390 --> 01:12:39,693 because Mac didn't just want to make you laugh. 1345 01:12:40,155 --> 01:12:42,558 He tried to throw you into something 1346 01:12:42,629 --> 01:12:47,734 and then make you laugh at shit you know you had no business laughing at. 1347 01:12:48,669 --> 01:12:52,706 Preachers, crippled people-- Bernie just started. 1348 01:12:52,773 --> 01:12:55,843 And he was vicious on that stage, man. 1349 01:12:56,338 --> 01:13:00,175 He was the greatest of all the kings here. 1350 01:13:00,642 --> 01:13:04,313 -This is the late, great Bernie Mac. -Bernie Mac, y'all. Check him out. 1351 01:13:04,985 --> 01:13:06,720 [hip-hop music playing] 1352 01:13:11,959 --> 01:13:13,994 I ain't scared of you motherfuckers. 1353 01:13:14,862 --> 01:13:17,531 I'm gonna tell you something straight off the motherfucking press. 1354 01:13:18,165 --> 01:13:19,967 I ain't coming from no foolishness. 1355 01:13:20,033 --> 01:13:22,870 And, New York, god damn it, y'all women look good. 1356 01:13:22,936 --> 01:13:25,072 You're like a bacon and egg sandwich. You look good. 1357 01:13:25,534 --> 01:13:27,836 Because I love sex. I love it. 1358 01:13:27,908 --> 01:13:29,343 Can't do shit no more. 1359 01:13:30,010 --> 01:13:31,044 And I'm blessed. 1360 01:13:32,279 --> 01:13:33,580 [cheering] 1361 01:13:36,617 --> 01:13:40,988 I'm big-boneded. I'm heavy-structured. I'm hung low. 1362 01:13:41,054 --> 01:13:43,624 If I pulled my shit out, this whole room would get dark. 1363 01:13:43,690 --> 01:13:45,192 Check it out! 1364 01:13:45,259 --> 01:13:46,793 [hip-hop music playing] 1365 01:13:49,458 --> 01:13:50,359 You don't understand. 1366 01:13:51,164 --> 01:13:53,333 I ain't scared of you motherfuckers. 1367 01:13:58,272 --> 01:14:01,241 Representing Chi-Town like my man Bernie, 1368 01:14:01,308 --> 01:14:05,112 please welcome to the stage Deon Cole! 1369 01:14:05,179 --> 01:14:07,648 What's up? How y'all doing? Everybody all right? 1370 01:14:07,714 --> 01:14:09,249 Give yourselves a round of applause. 1371 01:14:10,446 --> 01:14:14,149 Chicago in the building. Where y'all at? Chicago, make some noise. 1372 01:14:15,022 --> 01:14:18,392 I just want to personally give a shout-out to my man Bernie Mac, 1373 01:14:18,458 --> 01:14:21,762 -Adele Givens, Sheryl Underwood, -[cheering] 1374 01:14:21,828 --> 01:14:25,032 George Willborn, Kenny Howell. 1375 01:14:25,098 --> 01:14:28,602 These are some great Chicago comedians. Without them, I wouldn't be here as well. 1376 01:14:28,669 --> 01:14:30,537 So give it up for them. I appreciate that. 1377 01:14:34,875 --> 01:14:37,077 Donald Trump said he was the worst-treated president 1378 01:14:37,144 --> 01:14:38,946 in the history of presidents. 1379 01:14:39,780 --> 01:14:42,449 So, we're just gonna overlook the four that got murdered. 1380 01:14:50,619 --> 01:14:51,553 And the black one. 1381 01:14:54,194 --> 01:14:56,763 From pants with your face on it, to propeller hats, 1382 01:14:56,830 --> 01:14:58,599 to Martin Lawrence in his drawers, 1383 01:14:58,665 --> 01:15:02,236 Def Comedy Jam gave you unforgettable moments. 1384 01:15:02,302 --> 01:15:04,471 The jokes we did on the show were classic. 1385 01:15:04,538 --> 01:15:07,474 And 25 years later, they are classics. 1386 01:15:09,510 --> 01:15:12,813 There's a lot of pressure being black, ain't it? It's a hard job. 1387 01:15:12,880 --> 01:15:14,448 You can't get no relief nowhere. 1388 01:15:14,515 --> 01:15:17,584 I went home, tried to get a little relief. Gonna watch sports. Sports channel. 1389 01:15:17,651 --> 01:15:23,090 Got it on. The man said, "We bring to you America's favorite sport: 1390 01:15:23,156 --> 01:15:24,858 The America's Cup." 1391 01:15:27,594 --> 01:15:29,997 Now, who the hell did they check with on this? 1392 01:15:30,731 --> 01:15:33,333 They said yachting is America's number-one sport. 1393 01:15:33,400 --> 01:15:35,536 You don't ever see none of us yachting, do you? 1394 01:15:35,602 --> 01:15:39,940 Unh-unh. After that first big boat ride, we kind of lost our taste for sailing. 1395 01:15:40,007 --> 01:15:41,108 [chuckles] 1396 01:15:41,175 --> 01:15:44,912 It's fucked up, man. It ain't funny. You can't even be a thief no more. 1397 01:15:45,479 --> 01:15:46,747 Everybody's a thief. 1398 01:15:47,748 --> 01:15:50,450 The other day, I robbed a store, came back out, 1399 01:15:50,517 --> 01:15:52,152 a nigga done stole my car. 1400 01:15:53,387 --> 01:15:57,925 I'm at a bar, minding my business, cooling out, just being cool, like I am. 1401 01:15:57,991 --> 01:15:59,826 Chillin'. Woman come to me, 1402 01:15:59,893 --> 01:16:01,495 this is actually the goddamn thing she wanted to do. 1403 01:16:01,562 --> 01:16:03,197 She said, "Mac." I said, "Yeah, that's my name." 1404 01:16:03,263 --> 01:16:04,965 She said, "Can I ask you a question?" I said, "Yeah." 1405 01:16:05,032 --> 01:16:07,601 She says, "Does pussy taste like pumpkin pie?" 1406 01:16:09,069 --> 01:16:11,605 Made me mad as hell. I said, "Don't ask me no damn question like that. 1407 01:16:11,672 --> 01:16:13,507 I ain't never had no pumpkin pie." 1408 01:16:13,574 --> 01:16:14,641 Kick it! 1409 01:16:14,708 --> 01:16:15,709 [hip-hop music playing] 1410 01:16:15,776 --> 01:16:17,511 You ever trip out ordering Chinese food, 1411 01:16:17,578 --> 01:16:20,581 how long it takes them to say in Chinese the same thing you just said? 1412 01:16:20,647 --> 01:16:23,317 You're like, "Let me get a small order of shrimp fried rice. 1413 01:16:23,383 --> 01:16:24,351 That's it." 1414 01:16:24,418 --> 01:16:25,752 [Asian accent] "Small order of shrimp fried?" 1415 01:16:26,381 --> 01:16:27,583 "Yeah, dawg, that's it." 1416 01:16:28,255 --> 01:16:29,790 [Asian accent] "Me order for you." 1417 01:16:29,851 --> 01:16:31,853 [shouting in mock Chinese] 1418 01:16:34,590 --> 01:16:37,125 [shouting continues] 1419 01:16:47,541 --> 01:16:48,942 "You want eggroll?" 1420 01:16:50,444 --> 01:16:52,312 "No, partner, I ain't got the time." 1421 01:16:53,313 --> 01:16:55,616 So, we jump in the car, and we rolling. 1422 01:16:56,617 --> 01:16:59,620 I got a thousand pounds riding with me, god damn it. 1423 01:17:00,988 --> 01:17:03,857 We're slapping five over the seat and shit. 1424 01:17:05,225 --> 01:17:08,161 Get to my baby sister's house, and this nigga's just about to swing. 1425 01:17:08,228 --> 01:17:12,266 I go, "Oh, no, motherfucker. Not today, god damn it. Fuck that." 1426 01:17:20,240 --> 01:17:23,810 I myself used to have the most dangerous job in Washington, DC. 1427 01:17:25,179 --> 01:17:28,282 I used to deliver pizzas for Domino's. 1428 01:17:29,783 --> 01:17:32,753 They would rob me every day, man. 1429 01:17:33,587 --> 01:17:35,689 I had to get a gun, man! 1430 01:17:36,551 --> 01:17:40,689 How many Domino's pizza boys have you seen carry a fucking gun? 1431 01:17:41,562 --> 01:17:45,132 I used to bust in people's apartments, just: "Domino's! Freeze! 1432 01:17:45,999 --> 01:17:48,936 Put the money on the floor, man! Get on the floor! Don't move! 1433 01:17:49,803 --> 01:17:52,706 All right, I'm gonna get out of here nice and slow, all right? 1434 01:17:53,407 --> 01:17:55,275 I don't want any trouble. 1435 01:17:56,777 --> 01:17:59,379 One of you motherfuckers is gonna tip me." 1436 01:17:59,446 --> 01:18:03,217 There's the kind of motherfucker hollering about blow jobs, 1437 01:18:03,283 --> 01:18:05,652 and he's wearing about a size four. Little old feet. 1438 01:18:05,719 --> 01:18:07,120 So you know his dick's small. 1439 01:18:08,288 --> 01:18:10,257 I couldn't give him no blow job. 1440 01:18:10,324 --> 01:18:13,093 My big-ass lips, his little old dick. It wouldn't work. 1441 01:18:14,294 --> 01:18:17,364 That'd be like trying to give a whale a Tic Tac, motherfucker. 1442 01:18:18,065 --> 01:18:20,801 That shit wouldn't work. It wouldn't work. 1443 01:18:21,869 --> 01:18:23,136 It wouldn't work. 1444 01:18:26,807 --> 01:18:29,142 For real. Am I lying? 1445 01:18:32,179 --> 01:18:34,548 Def Comedy Jam was the shit. 1446 01:18:34,615 --> 01:18:40,621 It was black, it was funny, and it made a lot of people famous. 1447 01:18:40,687 --> 01:18:42,990 And it made a lot of people rich. 1448 01:18:43,056 --> 01:18:47,160 It made a lot of people household names, and you know what I'm talking about. 1449 01:18:47,227 --> 01:18:50,163 Cedric the Entertainer, Kleenex. 1450 01:18:53,467 --> 01:18:57,337 It changed comedy forever. It opened doors. 1451 01:18:57,404 --> 01:18:59,139 People talked shit about it, 1452 01:18:59,206 --> 01:19:02,376 then they looked like damn fools years later. 1453 01:19:03,076 --> 01:19:07,681 Now, when you look around this room, you see how ignorant it was to be a hater. 1454 01:19:07,748 --> 01:19:09,116 [woman] That's right. 1455 01:19:09,183 --> 01:19:13,754 All comedy roads today lead back to Def Comedy Jam. 1456 01:19:19,226 --> 01:19:22,663 And I know that I can speak for everyone on this stage 1457 01:19:22,729 --> 01:19:24,998 when I say I couldn't be prouder 1458 01:19:25,065 --> 01:19:28,035 to have been part of something so groundbreaking. 1459 01:19:28,101 --> 01:19:32,673 Every comedian that touched the stage, whether they made the final cut or not, 1460 01:19:32,739 --> 01:19:34,474 is part of this great legacy. 1461 01:19:35,070 --> 01:19:38,039 So, Stan and Russell and Bob and Sandy, 1462 01:19:38,974 --> 01:19:43,111 we are profoundly grateful 1463 01:19:43,183 --> 01:19:45,652 for what you made possible. 1464 01:19:45,719 --> 01:19:50,724 So, for one last time, maestro, if you will. 1465 01:19:56,263 --> 01:19:57,397 Thank you. 1466 01:20:01,935 --> 01:20:04,171 I want to thank all of y'all for coming out 1467 01:20:04,238 --> 01:20:07,508 and celebrating this wonderful evening with us. 1468 01:20:07,574 --> 01:20:10,677 So, now I gotta hand it over to the man who made it all possible: 1469 01:20:10,744 --> 01:20:12,112 Russell Simmons. 1470 01:20:16,517 --> 01:20:19,386 Thank you for coming out. God bless you. Good night. 1471 01:20:19,453 --> 01:20:21,522 [hip-hop music playing] 1472 01:20:27,728 --> 01:20:29,830 Happy 25th anniversary, Def Jam. 1473 01:20:29,897 --> 01:20:32,933 Major shout-out to my guys Russell Simmons and Stan Lathan. 1474 01:20:32,999 --> 01:20:36,670 Twenty-five years! God. I'm sitting here trying to think, man. 1475 01:20:36,737 --> 01:20:39,273 You guys were old when it started. 1476 01:20:40,107 --> 01:20:43,577 Like, when it started, y'all was old as shit. 1477 01:20:43,644 --> 01:20:48,348 And now-- now we're talking 25 years after that. 1478 01:20:49,216 --> 01:20:50,717 So, I know y'all can't-- 1479 01:20:51,585 --> 01:20:53,320 I know y'all can't hear me! 1480 01:20:54,021 --> 01:20:56,056 But I just want to say, man! 1481 01:20:56,123 --> 01:21:00,360 What y'all started is some of the dopest shit ever! 1482 01:21:01,195 --> 01:21:03,096 So, Russell and Stan! 1483 01:21:04,698 --> 01:21:05,732 Hey! 1484 01:21:06,934 --> 01:21:09,069 This is-- This is huge! 1485 01:21:10,470 --> 01:21:11,939 I love y'all! 1486 01:21:12,739 --> 01:21:15,676 I love y'all old asses! 1487 01:21:16,610 --> 01:21:20,948 Two of the coolest, oldest motherfuckers in the business, man. 1488 01:21:21,882 --> 01:21:25,185 Y'all got walkers on me. All right? 1489 01:21:25,252 --> 01:21:28,455 I'm gonna put "Def Jam" on the back of your chairs. 1490 01:21:29,189 --> 01:21:30,591 The wheelchairs! 1491 01:21:32,726 --> 01:21:34,228 I love you. Ha ha ha! 1492 01:21:35,857 --> 01:21:37,292 [children] Look, Daddy. 114329

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.