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1
00:00:04,735 --> 00:00:06,336
Good morning. Name?
2
00:00:06,338 --> 00:00:08,705
Ha! Not until I see my lawyer.
3
00:00:08,707 --> 00:00:11,007
And by the way,
I was with them last night.
4
00:00:11,009 --> 00:00:13,076
Max, it's just
for the spring semester.
5
00:00:13,078 --> 00:00:15,678
Sorry, she watches
a lot of Lockup: Raw.
6
00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:18,481
Uh, actually, I'm here
to return checks.
7
00:00:18,483 --> 00:00:19,916
There is no spring semester.
8
00:00:19,918 --> 00:00:22,451
The pastry school has been closed.
9
00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:24,820
What?
10
00:00:24,822 --> 00:00:28,824
Feel free to collect any personal items
you may have left in the workspace.
11
00:00:28,826 --> 00:00:32,395
You get the weed,
I'll get the other weed.
12
00:00:32,397 --> 00:00:33,629
This is insane.
13
00:00:33,631 --> 00:00:35,798
How can school be suddenly closed?
14
00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:38,467
Oh, good, John's here.
He'll know what happened.
15
00:00:38,469 --> 00:00:40,036
What makes you think he knows?
16
00:00:40,038 --> 00:00:42,738
He's a big queen, Max.
17
00:00:42,740 --> 00:00:44,840
He'll know why school's closed,
18
00:00:44,842 --> 00:00:47,810
and why Lady Gaga's last album failed.
19
00:00:55,936 --> 00:00:59,020
Synced and corrected by backinblack
www.addic7ed.com
20
00:00:59,789 --> 00:01:01,023
Where's Chef Nicolas?
21
00:01:01,025 --> 00:01:03,259
France.
22
00:01:03,261 --> 00:01:06,729
With his wife.
23
00:01:06,731 --> 00:01:07,997
Why is he in France?
24
00:01:07,999 --> 00:01:10,532
Hmm, turns out someone in this room,
25
00:01:10,534 --> 00:01:12,267
maybe someone I'm looking at
right over there,
26
00:01:12,269 --> 00:01:15,504
had an affair with him and
his wife found out all about it.
27
00:01:17,841 --> 00:01:20,542
Deke!
28
00:01:20,544 --> 00:01:25,247
Shocking! I didn't even know
Chef Nicolas was gay!
29
00:01:25,249 --> 00:01:26,748
Oh, please.
30
00:01:26,750 --> 00:01:30,853
If he was gay,
I would've been all over that.
31
00:01:30,855 --> 00:01:34,089
Like a gorilla on a breadstick.
32
00:01:34,091 --> 00:01:36,291
Lady, we all know it wasn't Deke.
33
00:01:36,293 --> 00:01:39,261
Okay, yes, yes, fine. It was me.
34
00:01:39,263 --> 00:01:42,331
And my parents say
I'm loose as a goose.
35
00:01:42,333 --> 00:01:44,266
But it was not an affair.
36
00:01:44,268 --> 00:01:46,268
We made out once,
in six different places,
37
00:01:46,270 --> 00:01:50,072
On eight different occasions,
and then I ended it.
38
00:01:50,074 --> 00:01:52,574
You ended that, and you ended this!
39
00:01:52,576 --> 00:01:55,744
All of this! Forget my spatulas!
40
00:01:55,746 --> 00:01:58,814
Forget my whisk! It's over!
41
00:01:58,816 --> 00:02:04,152
Brigadoon is over!
Thanks, Caroline!
42
00:02:04,154 --> 00:02:08,256
You're acting like I'm the only one
who ever closed a pastry school down.
43
00:02:18,458 --> 00:02:20,426
Can't you just
go to Deke's without me?
44
00:02:20,428 --> 00:02:22,127
I'm too down in the dumps.
45
00:02:22,129 --> 00:02:24,797
Then what better place
to be than in a dumpster?
46
00:02:24,799 --> 00:02:27,032
And Deke said to make sure
to bring you.
47
00:02:27,034 --> 00:02:29,501
And relax, it's not
a three-way situation.
48
00:02:29,503 --> 00:02:30,903
When we made our three-way list,
49
00:02:30,905 --> 00:02:34,306
you were at the bottom
with Taylor Swift.
50
00:02:34,308 --> 00:02:37,442
Well, at least I'm with Taylor.
51
00:02:37,444 --> 00:02:39,178
On the three-way list, who's above me?
52
00:02:39,180 --> 00:02:42,281
Vicki what's-her-name from
Real Housewives of Orange County.
53
00:02:42,283 --> 00:02:43,916
Is that the one with
all the face work?
54
00:02:43,918 --> 00:02:46,985
You're gonna have
to be more specific.
55
00:02:48,488 --> 00:02:49,621
Welcome, welcome.
56
00:02:49,623 --> 00:02:52,491
Wipe your feet on the way out.
57
00:02:54,260 --> 00:02:55,827
Deke, I'm warning you right now,
58
00:02:55,829 --> 00:02:58,163
I am not in a partying mood.
59
00:02:58,165 --> 00:02:59,664
Ain't no party like a Caroline party,
60
00:02:59,666 --> 00:03:02,834
'cause a Caroline party don't start.
61
00:03:02,836 --> 00:03:06,738
I'm heavy with guilt, and
that cheese omelet we just split.
62
00:03:06,740 --> 00:03:11,309
We're not partying, but I did
snatch back the weed, 'cause I's perfect.
63
00:03:11,311 --> 00:03:14,713
Good. I got it from Earl, and he says
it knocks you out so hard,
64
00:03:14,715 --> 00:03:18,016
he once used it and faked death
to cash in a life insurance policy.
65
00:03:18,018 --> 00:03:21,186
Well, we might need
to do that too after what I did.
66
00:03:21,188 --> 00:03:23,288
Deke, I am so sorry about all of this.
67
00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:26,658
I am filled with regret
and those home fries I just ate.
68
00:03:26,660 --> 00:03:29,394
We all so sad
pastry school got all closed.
69
00:03:29,396 --> 00:03:31,429
We don't know what to do.
70
00:03:31,431 --> 00:03:33,231
I know what to do.
71
00:03:33,233 --> 00:03:35,468
Eat the pound cake in my purse.
72
00:03:36,470 --> 00:03:39,871
Okay, so we all loved
the pastry school, right?
73
00:03:39,873 --> 00:03:42,640
Eh, it was all right. No big deal.
74
00:03:42,642 --> 00:03:47,245
No big deal? We had sex in like
every classroom and both stairwells.
75
00:03:47,247 --> 00:03:51,282
And on Caroline's desk,
but, eh, no big deal.
76
00:03:51,284 --> 00:03:53,184
Eh,� kind of a big deal.
77
00:03:53,186 --> 00:03:55,887
Was it a Tuesday, on top of
the New York Times?
78
00:03:55,889 --> 00:03:58,189
And did you eat
my cranberry clif bar after?
79
00:03:58,191 --> 00:04:01,626
'Cause I made someone cry about that.
80
00:04:01,628 --> 00:04:03,928
Okay, yes, it was fun.
81
00:04:03,930 --> 00:04:06,097
But it's over, and that's life.
82
00:04:06,099 --> 00:04:09,467
Pastry school, no pastry school,
eh, no big deal.
83
00:04:09,469 --> 00:04:10,768
I'm gonna buy it.
84
00:04:10,770 --> 00:04:11,969
What?
85
00:04:11,971 --> 00:04:13,304
Yes!
86
00:04:13,306 --> 00:04:16,207
Yes, I love that frickin' place!
87
00:04:16,209 --> 00:04:20,111
We had sex on your desk
while eating your clif bar.
88
00:04:20,113 --> 00:04:21,812
It was awesome there!
89
00:04:27,552 --> 00:04:30,254
Deke, what are you talking about?
90
00:04:30,256 --> 00:04:32,556
I'll ask my parents
to buy it as an investment.
91
00:04:32,558 --> 00:04:34,058
Caroline, you can run the school.
92
00:04:34,060 --> 00:04:35,726
You're already killing it
in the office.
93
00:04:35,728 --> 00:04:37,895
And Max and I can
be the badass students
94
00:04:37,897 --> 00:04:39,864
who won't take guff
from no damn teachers.
95
00:04:39,866 --> 00:04:42,700
How 'bout you stuff
the cannoli again, bitch?
96
00:04:42,702 --> 00:04:46,070
I own the damn place!
97
00:04:46,072 --> 00:04:47,638
Wait, is this even possible?
98
00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:49,240
I mean, it'll cost millions.
99
00:04:49,242 --> 00:04:51,008
Who cares? He's rich!
100
00:04:51,010 --> 00:04:54,578
Now I get the whole idea
of money. It's lovely!
101
00:04:54,580 --> 00:04:56,380
It's the greatest idea ever!
102
00:04:56,382 --> 00:04:57,982
I know!
103
00:04:57,984 --> 00:04:59,884
And since we're doing it
together, you'll both
104
00:04:59,886 --> 00:05:01,552
have to come meet my parents.
105
00:05:01,554 --> 00:05:03,187
Max, they've been asking
to meet my girlfriend anyway.
106
00:05:03,189 --> 00:05:05,089
Meet your parents?
107
00:05:05,091 --> 00:05:07,958
Eh, the pastry school wasn't all that.
108
00:05:18,157 --> 00:05:21,426
The elevator opens right
in your apartment?
109
00:05:21,428 --> 00:05:24,796
Nope, don't belong here.
Hold the doors, bub!
110
00:05:24,798 --> 00:05:28,366
We're okay. Thank you, James.
111
00:05:28,368 --> 00:05:31,736
Max, just do the opposite
of everything you would normally do.
112
00:05:31,738 --> 00:05:34,739
I already am. I'm here!
113
00:05:36,909 --> 00:05:38,443
Deke, hello.
114
00:05:38,445 --> 00:05:41,212
Go, be warm.
115
00:05:41,214 --> 00:05:44,516
Hello, Mrs. Bromberg. I'm Max.
116
00:05:44,518 --> 00:05:46,217
I'm the housekeeper.
117
00:05:48,888 --> 00:05:51,956
This is Iris.
Been with us for years.
118
00:05:51,958 --> 00:05:53,625
Well, it was a lovely hug.
119
00:05:53,627 --> 00:05:55,293
I'll tell your parents
that you've arrived.
120
00:05:55,295 --> 00:05:57,829
So, what, Max?
121
00:05:57,831 --> 00:06:01,032
You think any black woman you
see here could be my mother?
122
00:06:03,002 --> 00:06:07,372
Well, any white man I see
anywhere could be my father.
123
00:06:07,374 --> 00:06:08,940
Let's go. I already screwed up.
124
00:06:08,942 --> 00:06:12,644
No, you heard Iris.
It was a lovely hug.
125
00:06:12,646 --> 00:06:14,545
But then again, she is being paid.
126
00:06:14,547 --> 00:06:16,114
Here, better wear my pearls.
127
00:06:16,116 --> 00:06:17,715
Yeah, right!
128
00:06:17,717 --> 00:06:20,551
Me in those pearls is like
a monkey in baby clothes.
129
00:06:20,553 --> 00:06:21,919
Just plain wrong.
130
00:06:21,921 --> 00:06:23,554
Relax, Max.
131
00:06:23,556 --> 00:06:25,690
What, are you crazy, touching me?
132
00:06:25,692 --> 00:06:27,525
Your mother comes in here
right now, and she's like,
133
00:06:27,527 --> 00:06:32,663
Oh, there she is, the hooker
from the projects,
134
00:06:32,665 --> 00:06:34,899
getting it on with our son in the...
135
00:06:34,901 --> 00:06:38,102
What, fancy-ass book room?
136
00:06:40,572 --> 00:06:42,907
Deke, you have a warhol soup can?
137
00:06:42,909 --> 00:06:44,942
Uh, yeah, it used to be in my bedroom.
138
00:06:44,944 --> 00:06:49,080
It got moved out here after I
scotch-taped a Star Wars poster over it.
139
00:06:49,082 --> 00:06:50,548
Okay, okay.
140
00:06:50,550 --> 00:06:53,217
See, now, here is something
we have in common.
141
00:06:53,219 --> 00:06:56,654
I used to drink that soup.
142
00:06:56,656 --> 00:06:58,389
I can talk about that.
143
00:06:58,391 --> 00:07:00,257
Perfect, yeah.
144
00:07:00,259 --> 00:07:02,193
- Talk about that.
- Yeah.
145
00:07:02,195 --> 00:07:05,329
Okay, see, when my mother
was on a bender,
146
00:07:05,331 --> 00:07:07,598
I would bust open the can
on the kitchen counter
147
00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:10,267
'cause I could never find
the opener 'cause she'd use
148
00:07:10,269 --> 00:07:13,971
the sharp tip of it
to clean out her hash pipe.
149
00:07:15,574 --> 00:07:17,641
- Give her the damn pearls.
- Give me the damn pearls.
150
00:07:17,643 --> 00:07:18,876
It's just a little help.
151
00:07:18,878 --> 00:07:20,277
A signal to the rich people
152
00:07:20,279 --> 00:07:21,979
that says, "I'm one of you."
153
00:07:21,981 --> 00:07:24,214
Like seeing another hells angel
wearing a vest
154
00:07:24,216 --> 00:07:27,718
with a patch that says, "Suck it, pig."
155
00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:31,255
Well, Deke better give me a signal
when his actual mom comes in,
156
00:07:31,257 --> 00:07:35,359
because the way I'm going,
I'd hug Oprah.
157
00:07:35,361 --> 00:07:37,995
Oprah doesn't like to be hugged.
158
00:07:39,464 --> 00:07:41,532
A mistake I made at her legends ball.
159
00:07:41,534 --> 00:07:43,800
One hug and 20 minutes later,
160
00:07:43,802 --> 00:07:48,705
my place setting was moved
next to La Toya Jackson.
161
00:07:50,808 --> 00:07:53,043
- Oh.
- Mm.
162
00:07:55,613 --> 00:07:57,047
Thanks, girl.
163
00:07:57,049 --> 00:07:59,516
You're Max.
164
00:07:59,518 --> 00:08:01,518
I'm Deke's mother, Genet.
165
00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:03,754
Uh, mom, this is our friend, Caroline.
166
00:08:03,756 --> 00:08:05,355
Thank you for inviting us.
167
00:08:05,357 --> 00:08:06,857
Amazing art collection.
168
00:08:06,859 --> 00:08:08,458
Oh, thank you.
169
00:08:08,460 --> 00:08:11,828
I'm afraid my husband and I
are pop art junkies.
170
00:08:13,631 --> 00:08:16,032
I eat soup.
171
00:08:23,541 --> 00:08:25,675
Speaking of my husband...
172
00:08:25,677 --> 00:08:29,012
- David!
- "I eat soup"�?
173
00:08:30,414 --> 00:08:31,715
He was right behind me.
174
00:08:31,717 --> 00:08:33,116
Oh, sometimes I swear,
175
00:08:33,118 --> 00:08:35,251
I should just leave
a trail of bread crumbs.
176
00:08:36,253 --> 00:08:39,022
That's funny.
177
00:08:39,024 --> 00:08:41,958
Okay, hold on a second there, folks.
178
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:44,727
I'm just sending some business emails.
179
00:08:44,729 --> 00:08:46,096
Actually, I'm not.
180
00:08:46,098 --> 00:08:48,031
I'm looking at celebrities
181
00:08:48,033 --> 00:08:52,135
without their makeup,
and I gotta say,
182
00:08:52,137 --> 00:08:55,705
Hugh Jackman?
Better without makeup.
183
00:08:55,707 --> 00:08:58,107
Mwah!
184
00:08:58,109 --> 00:08:59,409
I'll take that.
185
00:08:59,411 --> 00:09:01,277
All right.
186
00:09:01,279 --> 00:09:02,478
And what's in your mouth?
187
00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:05,281
- Sour ball.
- Give it to me, please.
188
00:09:05,283 --> 00:09:08,885
Genet, I'm a grown man.
I can have a sour ball.
189
00:09:08,887 --> 00:09:11,587
You asked me to help you
stop eating candy.
190
00:09:11,589 --> 00:09:13,456
- It's just one sour ball.
- Spit it out.
191
00:09:13,458 --> 00:09:14,724
- I can't.
- Why not?
192
00:09:14,726 --> 00:09:18,494
It's a Mini 3 Musketeers.
193
00:09:18,496 --> 00:09:20,430
There he is!
194
00:09:20,432 --> 00:09:22,231
There's my son,
195
00:09:22,233 --> 00:09:24,367
Until we get the results
of the paternity test back.
196
00:09:24,369 --> 00:09:25,468
I love him!
197
00:09:25,470 --> 00:09:27,203
Ugh, hey, come on.
198
00:09:27,205 --> 00:09:29,172
No tongue in front of my girlfriend.
199
00:09:29,174 --> 00:09:30,406
Max, come over here.
200
00:09:30,408 --> 00:09:33,943
Fine, but no tongue till after dessert.
201
00:09:35,113 --> 00:09:37,313
"No tongue till after dessert."
202
00:09:37,315 --> 00:09:39,448
She's pretty and funny.
203
00:09:39,450 --> 00:09:40,983
Who's your bodyguard?
204
00:09:40,985 --> 00:09:43,653
Oh, um...
205
00:09:43,655 --> 00:09:44,954
This is my friend...
206
00:09:44,956 --> 00:09:48,391
Mm, help me out. Totally blanked.
207
00:09:48,393 --> 00:09:50,426
Oh, she's a little nervous.
208
00:09:50,428 --> 00:09:52,428
Hello, Mr. Bromberg. I'm Caroline.
209
00:09:52,430 --> 00:09:54,230
Drink before dinner, yes?
210
00:09:54,232 --> 00:09:55,765
Yes, but just one.
211
00:09:55,767 --> 00:09:58,501
But not because I'm pregnant!
What?
212
00:10:01,605 --> 00:10:03,205
Sit, let's talk.
213
00:10:03,207 --> 00:10:05,407
Yes, let's sit down,
214
00:10:05,409 --> 00:10:10,179
Have a nice conversation,
get to know each other better.
215
00:10:10,181 --> 00:10:11,914
So, tell me about pastry school.
216
00:10:11,916 --> 00:10:14,783
Yes, tell us about pastry school.
217
00:10:14,785 --> 00:10:17,319
Well, we went to class
the other day and it was closed,
218
00:10:17,321 --> 00:10:20,522
And John, this big, gay
pastry chef, was freaking out.
219
00:10:20,524 --> 00:10:21,523
Max does a great impression of him.
220
00:10:21,525 --> 00:10:23,225
No. No, I don't.
221
00:10:23,227 --> 00:10:26,028
Yes, Max, it's really funny
and totally charming.
222
00:10:26,030 --> 00:10:27,329
Oh, uh, okay.
223
00:10:27,331 --> 00:10:29,331
Uh, he's like 6'5"...
224
00:10:29,333 --> 00:10:30,365
Stand. You gotta stand.
225
00:10:30,367 --> 00:10:32,067
Yeah, okay, okay, okay.
226
00:10:32,069 --> 00:10:35,337
And he had his arms up
in the air like this...
227
00:10:45,148 --> 00:10:48,717
Um, I think his arms were down.
228
00:10:48,719 --> 00:10:53,455
No, they were totally over his head.
229
00:10:53,457 --> 00:10:55,924
Yeah, she's right, they were down.
230
00:10:55,926 --> 00:11:00,128
Way down, like a crocodile.
231
00:11:00,130 --> 00:11:01,931
Or CeeLo.
232
00:11:04,667 --> 00:11:06,334
What are you talking about?
233
00:11:06,336 --> 00:11:08,270
They were way up here.
234
00:11:08,272 --> 00:11:10,772
Way over his head, and...
235
00:11:10,774 --> 00:11:13,141
Oh, yea... They were down.
236
00:11:13,143 --> 00:11:14,376
Whoo! You know what?
237
00:11:14,378 --> 00:11:16,044
I think he was sitting,
238
00:11:16,046 --> 00:11:19,080
and was really quiet.
239
00:11:19,082 --> 00:11:21,383
Excuse me, I have to use
the powder room.
240
00:11:21,385 --> 00:11:23,752
- Max, would you come with me?
- Try and stop me.
241
00:11:28,125 --> 00:11:30,392
Max, it's over here.
242
00:11:30,394 --> 00:11:33,728
We're not making a break for it?
243
00:11:33,730 --> 00:11:36,364
Trapped. Trapped like rats.
244
00:11:39,135 --> 00:11:40,168
What is wrong with you?
245
00:11:40,170 --> 00:11:42,003
Why are you sweating so much?
246
00:11:42,005 --> 00:11:44,873
I think we'd be better off
just wetting the whole dress.
247
00:11:46,342 --> 00:11:48,910
I know.
It must be the pearls.
248
00:11:48,912 --> 00:11:52,780
My white trash body is working
overtime to reject them.
249
00:11:52,782 --> 00:11:55,650
Ooh, okay. Raise your arms.
250
00:11:55,652 --> 00:11:58,419
Why bother?
They already hate me.
251
00:11:58,421 --> 00:11:59,620
Max, they do not hate you.
252
00:11:59,622 --> 00:12:00,822
Well, they will.
253
00:12:00,824 --> 00:12:03,057
This is Tommy Dolan all over again.
254
00:12:03,059 --> 00:12:04,425
Who's Tommy Dolan?
255
00:12:04,427 --> 00:12:08,863
And FYI, great upper arm workout.
256
00:12:08,865 --> 00:12:10,965
He's this rich kid
I liked in eighth grade.
257
00:12:10,967 --> 00:12:15,102
And by rich, I mean his family
could afford the acne medicine.
258
00:12:15,104 --> 00:12:18,272
He asked me out, but his parents
said no because I was poor.
259
00:12:18,274 --> 00:12:20,641
And, to be clear, that was
before I shot the ten BBs
260
00:12:20,643 --> 00:12:22,577
into their front picture window.
261
00:12:22,579 --> 00:12:24,712
Max, you're not in eighth grade.
262
00:12:24,714 --> 00:12:26,814
This is a grown-up relationship.
263
00:12:26,816 --> 00:12:28,716
Tonight's not just about
a pastry school,
264
00:12:28,718 --> 00:12:30,751
It's about you and Deke,
so get it together.
265
00:12:30,753 --> 00:12:33,954
You have a lot on the line,
and I have a neck cramp.
266
00:12:37,326 --> 00:12:39,293
Ladies, it's Genet.
267
00:12:39,295 --> 00:12:41,996
Trapped.
Trapped like more rats.
268
00:12:47,169 --> 00:12:48,636
Is everything all right in here?
269
00:12:48,638 --> 00:12:50,070
I didn't take anything.
270
00:12:50,072 --> 00:12:51,906
I...
271
00:12:51,908 --> 00:12:55,509
Caroline, do you mind
if I speak to Max, alone?
272
00:12:57,178 --> 00:12:58,612
Our neighbors have just stopped by.
273
00:12:58,614 --> 00:13:00,915
They've opened a bottle of champagne.
274
00:13:00,917 --> 00:13:03,317
It's French, wonderful. Enjoy.
275
00:13:05,186 --> 00:13:08,689
Girl, you need to chill.
276
00:13:10,525 --> 00:13:12,693
Um... Uh, excuse me?
277
00:13:12,695 --> 00:13:15,029
You have got us all wrong.
278
00:13:15,031 --> 00:13:17,865
You walk in here,
see this fabulous apartment,
279
00:13:17,867 --> 00:13:21,435
and all of this "fabulosity",
and you think...
280
00:13:21,437 --> 00:13:24,204
You think I'm some rich bitch.
281
00:13:26,941 --> 00:13:30,043
I am.
282
00:13:30,045 --> 00:13:32,913
But I wasn't born that way.
Uh-uh.
283
00:13:32,915 --> 00:13:34,982
I am from Queens, New York.
284
00:13:34,984 --> 00:13:38,852
Yeah, that's right,
I'm just Genet from the block.
285
00:13:41,289 --> 00:13:42,923
Wait, then how did you get
286
00:13:42,925 --> 00:13:45,559
your own elevator and fish wallpaper?
287
00:13:45,561 --> 00:13:49,396
Well, when David met me,
I was a dancer.
288
00:13:49,398 --> 00:13:51,665
Oh, you mean like on Broadway?
289
00:13:51,667 --> 00:13:54,501
Yeah, well, close to Broadway.
290
00:13:56,737 --> 00:14:01,341
The point is that we fell
in love so completely
291
00:14:01,343 --> 00:14:05,745
that I even stopped taking
his money after the third visit.
292
00:14:14,814 --> 00:14:15,947
Tell us, Deke,
293
00:14:15,949 --> 00:14:18,984
why a pastry school of all things?
294
00:14:19,986 --> 00:14:24,122
Who cares? We're just thrilled
he's no longer in the circus.
295
00:14:24,124 --> 00:14:26,358
- Girls...
- I didn't take anything.
296
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:31,963
Ha. Amy and Adam have lived
in the building since Deke was little.
297
00:14:31,965 --> 00:14:34,132
Mom, don't tell Max I'm little.
298
00:14:34,134 --> 00:14:37,135
I've convinced her I've got
the biggest one she'll ever have.
299
00:14:37,137 --> 00:14:39,971
Oh, Deke!
300
00:14:39,973 --> 00:14:42,106
Naughty, dirty, funny.
301
00:14:42,108 --> 00:14:43,708
Andy and I love naughty comedy.
302
00:14:43,710 --> 00:14:46,277
We watch Bill Maher.
303
00:14:46,279 --> 00:14:48,946
This pastry school would be
a huge financial commitment, David.
304
00:14:48,948 --> 00:14:52,483
Why don't you just go down to Union Square
and light a bag of money on fire?
305
00:14:52,485 --> 00:14:55,586
Mr. Chase, I agree,
it's a huge undertaking.
306
00:14:55,588 --> 00:14:57,288
And if you'd like,
we can discuss a business plan.
307
00:14:57,290 --> 00:14:59,991
I did graduate top of my class
from Wharton.
308
00:14:59,993 --> 00:15:03,361
Wharton. In Philadelphia.
309
00:15:03,363 --> 00:15:06,163
The city of brotherly love.
310
00:15:06,165 --> 00:15:10,001
And let me tell you, it certainly is.
311
00:15:12,037 --> 00:15:14,305
Our son, Hunter, went to Wharton.
312
00:15:14,307 --> 00:15:15,773
He's about your age.
313
00:15:15,775 --> 00:15:17,808
I'll text and tell him we've met you.
314
00:15:17,810 --> 00:15:19,844
What is your last name, Caroline?
315
00:15:19,846 --> 00:15:21,782
Um...
316
00:15:24,784 --> 00:15:27,618
Channing.
317
00:15:27,620 --> 00:15:29,186
Caroline Channing?
318
00:15:29,188 --> 00:15:32,656
Your father isn't Martin Channing,
the one in prison for the Ponzi Scheme?
319
00:15:32,658 --> 00:15:36,527
Amazing fish!
I-I love this tilapia.
320
00:15:36,529 --> 00:15:39,630
It's almost a chicken-y fish.
321
00:15:39,632 --> 00:15:41,231
Deke, you never told us about this.
322
00:15:41,233 --> 00:15:45,369
What, that the fish was chicken-y?
323
00:15:45,371 --> 00:15:48,005
You know that's why
I don't come home anymore.
324
00:15:49,107 --> 00:15:50,340
Why would I tell you?
325
00:15:50,342 --> 00:15:51,942
She didn't steal the money, he did.
326
00:15:51,944 --> 00:15:53,610
Deke does have a point.
327
00:15:53,612 --> 00:15:56,880
It wasn't Caroline,
and her father is serving time.
328
00:15:56,882 --> 00:16:00,551
Ah, speaking of serving,
there are like nine forks here.
329
00:16:00,553 --> 00:16:03,153
Where do I go next?
330
00:16:03,155 --> 00:16:05,789
It's easy for you to say, Deke.
You didn't lose money.
331
00:16:05,791 --> 00:16:08,959
Amy and I had to move from the
penthouse to the fourth floor.
332
00:16:08,961 --> 00:16:10,661
The fourth floor, Deke!
333
00:16:10,663 --> 00:16:13,764
That's three above the doorman.
334
00:16:13,766 --> 00:16:15,866
Only five bedrooms, and I can
hear the "whoosh-whoosh"
335
00:16:15,868 --> 00:16:16,800
of the damn elevator all night long!
336
00:16:16,802 --> 00:16:19,736
Oh. Shh, shh.
337
00:16:19,738 --> 00:16:23,073
Genet, I cannot believe you would
invite a Channing into your home.
338
00:16:24,742 --> 00:16:27,577
Sir, if you say another
bad word about her,
339
00:16:27,579 --> 00:16:30,380
I'm gonna "whoosh-whoosh"
you off that chair.
340
00:16:31,516 --> 00:16:33,450
Max, these are our friends.
341
00:16:33,452 --> 00:16:36,319
Yeah, well she is my friend,
and she's had it pretty rough.
342
00:16:36,321 --> 00:16:38,321
And I'm not gonna sit here
and let them insult her.
343
00:16:38,323 --> 00:16:41,625
Oh, you only have five bedrooms?
344
00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:45,161
Well, she sleeps in the wall.
345
00:16:52,003 --> 00:16:53,970
You rich people are all the same.
346
00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:55,338
Max, take it down.
347
00:16:55,340 --> 00:16:58,308
You're gonna "whoosh" you did later.
348
00:16:58,310 --> 00:17:00,410
No, Deke.
I mean, look at this table.
349
00:17:00,412 --> 00:17:03,046
Seven forks and ten knives, for what?
350
00:17:03,048 --> 00:17:05,148
You know what we have
at our apartment?
351
00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:09,752
Five chopsticks and a spork
from Kentucky Fried Chicken,
352
00:17:09,754 --> 00:17:12,121
and we do fine.
353
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:16,359
We don't need to sit here
and gravel...
354
00:17:16,361 --> 00:17:19,596
- Grovel.
- Whatever.
355
00:17:19,598 --> 00:17:21,497
For your money or their approval.
356
00:17:21,499 --> 00:17:23,900
All I can say is,
you rich people are lucky
357
00:17:23,902 --> 00:17:26,636
those cops took my BB gun.
Let's go, Caroline.
358
00:17:26,638 --> 00:17:28,438
No, this is my fault. I'll go.
359
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:30,840
No, you know what?
We'll all go.
360
00:17:30,842 --> 00:17:33,209
Deacon, sit down.
361
00:17:33,211 --> 00:17:35,077
You are not leaving
the table with them.
362
00:17:35,079 --> 00:17:36,512
I go where she goes.
363
00:17:36,514 --> 00:17:39,649
Except not in the bathroom, because
we like to leave a little mystery.
364
00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:44,487
I mean, what is the big deal, anyway?
365
00:17:44,489 --> 00:17:46,656
You have a problem with her
because of her father,
366
00:17:46,658 --> 00:17:50,560
but no problem with his mom
being a stripper?
367
00:17:50,562 --> 00:17:52,528
What? You were a stripper?
368
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:55,364
Mom?
369
00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:57,166
Max!
370
00:17:57,168 --> 00:17:59,802
Oh, is that not common knowledge?
371
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,807
I feel so bad.
372
00:18:04,809 --> 00:18:06,208
Don't. I should have guessed.
373
00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:08,644
My mom's way too limber at tennis.
374
00:18:08,646 --> 00:18:11,280
And it totally makes me
respect my dad more.
375
00:18:11,282 --> 00:18:13,582
A Jew marrying
a black woman is impressive.
376
00:18:13,584 --> 00:18:16,118
Marrying a black stripper is awesome.
377
00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:20,155
No, I feel bad about your parents
cutting you off financially.
378
00:18:20,157 --> 00:18:23,259
But you're okay with outing my mom?
379
00:18:23,261 --> 00:18:25,794
Look, they gave me a choice,
my money or you.
380
00:18:25,796 --> 00:18:28,731
It only took me two hours
to decide, and I picked you.
381
00:18:28,733 --> 00:18:30,699
I wish it took you two hours.
382
00:18:30,701 --> 00:18:31,967
You didn't even think it over.
383
00:18:31,969 --> 00:18:34,236
You were out of there immediately.
384
00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:36,638
Deke, how are you gonna live
without money?
385
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:38,374
Hey, I already live in a dumpster.
386
00:18:38,376 --> 00:18:39,608
I'm used to roughing it.
387
00:18:39,610 --> 00:18:40,976
Who bought the dumpster?
388
00:18:40,978 --> 00:18:42,211
They did.
389
00:18:42,213 --> 00:18:44,079
Who bought the solar panels
on the roof?
390
00:18:44,081 --> 00:18:45,447
They did.
391
00:18:45,449 --> 00:18:47,049
But I bought that cool
skateboard poster.
392
00:18:47,051 --> 00:18:48,217
Deke.
393
00:18:48,219 --> 00:18:49,418
Okay, it was in a box of Honeycomb.
394
00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:50,953
And who bought the Honeycomb?
395
00:18:50,955 --> 00:18:53,722
They did.
Max, it'll be fun.
396
00:18:53,724 --> 00:18:56,825
Oh, come on.
How hard could it be?
397
00:18:56,827 --> 00:18:59,194
Look, I get up tomorrow,
I get a job here,
398
00:18:59,196 --> 00:19:01,430
Zippity-boo, get another job there.
399
00:19:01,432 --> 00:19:04,199
Now I got 20,000, then zippity-pow,
400
00:19:04,201 --> 00:19:06,401
make another 20,000, zippity-zang.
401
00:19:06,403 --> 00:19:08,804
Then I'm lousy with Honeycomb.
402
00:19:08,806 --> 00:19:11,807
Now, cheechity-chong,
where did I put Earl's weed?
403
00:19:18,381 --> 00:19:20,115
What's the emergency?
Are you all right?
404
00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:23,185
I'm fine, but Deke's insane!
405
00:19:23,187 --> 00:19:26,288
He thinks he can make it
as a poor person.
406
00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:27,822
You never know, I did.
407
00:19:27,824 --> 00:19:30,525
Sure, the first...
What's today, Monday?
408
00:19:30,527 --> 00:19:32,961
Sure, the first thousand days
were hard, but...
409
00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:34,863
Deke is nothing like you!
410
00:19:34,865 --> 00:19:38,500
You are resilient and smart
and creative and driven.
411
00:19:38,502 --> 00:19:40,902
No one could do what you did.
You're amazing.
412
00:19:40,904 --> 00:19:43,605
Max, that's the nicest thing
you've ever said to me.
413
00:19:43,607 --> 00:19:45,206
Oh, don't get all wet.
414
00:19:45,208 --> 00:19:48,576
You're still at the bottom
of the three-way list.
415
00:19:48,578 --> 00:19:52,280
My point is, I can't let Deke
give up his money.
416
00:19:52,282 --> 00:19:53,915
It's his decision.
417
00:19:53,917 --> 00:19:56,317
And it's the most romantic thing
I've ever heard.
418
00:19:56,319 --> 00:19:58,686
It's crap!
419
00:19:58,688 --> 00:20:02,123
I care about Deke more than
I have ever cared about anyone,
420
00:20:02,125 --> 00:20:03,958
so I have to give him back.
421
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:05,360
I just called his mother.
422
00:20:05,362 --> 00:20:08,363
At 2:00 A.M.,
and she picked up the phone?
423
00:20:08,365 --> 00:20:10,031
Oh, right, I forgot.
She was a stripper.
424
00:20:10,033 --> 00:20:13,101
She's used to picking things up
at night.
425
00:20:13,103 --> 00:20:14,936
And she said they'd take Deke back,
426
00:20:14,938 --> 00:20:16,838
but he has to come to them.
427
00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:18,239
That's great.
428
00:20:18,241 --> 00:20:19,440
So, come on.
429
00:20:19,442 --> 00:20:21,776
You and I are pushing him home...
430
00:20:21,778 --> 00:20:23,778
In the dumpster.
431
00:20:23,780 --> 00:20:26,147
Pushing it to the upper east side?
432
00:20:26,149 --> 00:20:27,615
Yes!
433
00:20:27,617 --> 00:20:28,783
He's totally knocked out
on Earl's weed.
434
00:20:28,785 --> 00:20:30,051
He will not feel a thing.
435
00:20:30,053 --> 00:20:33,254
Come on, help me push right now
before I realize what I'm losing,
436
00:20:33,256 --> 00:20:35,323
and change my mind.
Go!
437
00:20:35,325 --> 00:20:36,791
You take that side, I'll take this,
438
00:20:36,793 --> 00:20:38,392
and we won't stop till we're there
439
00:20:38,394 --> 00:20:40,561
or one of us falls off
the Brooklyn Bridge.
440
00:20:40,563 --> 00:20:42,563
We can never get it there, Max.
441
00:20:42,565 --> 00:20:43,965
Then we'll get it as far as we can,
442
00:20:43,967 --> 00:20:45,766
and then at least when Deke wakes up
443
00:20:45,768 --> 00:20:48,135
he won't be stuck here with me
in the morning,
444
00:20:48,137 --> 00:20:50,671
and he can have a life.
445
00:20:50,673 --> 00:20:52,406
I was wrong earlier.
446
00:20:52,408 --> 00:20:55,676
This is the most romantic thing
I've ever seen.
447
00:20:57,012 --> 00:20:58,712
Yeah, don't cut yourself
on the dumpster
448
00:20:58,714 --> 00:21:01,048
Or you'll get lockjaw.
Push.
449
00:21:01,050 --> 00:21:03,117
Oh, Max.
450
00:21:03,119 --> 00:21:05,886
Even better upper arm workout!
451
00:21:05,888 --> 00:21:09,456
See, only you would say that.
452
00:21:17,664 --> 00:21:21,417
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