All language subtitles for The Wonder Years s06e03 Scenes from a Wedding.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,800 --> 00:00:05,400 [ Joe Cocker's "With a Little Help From My Friends" plays ] 2 00:00:19,010 --> 00:00:20,180 ? Baby ? 3 00:00:20,180 --> 00:00:22,920 ? high with a little help from my friends ? 4 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:25,090 ? said I'm gonna make it with my friends ? 5 00:00:25,090 --> 00:00:27,850 ? try with a little help from my friends ? 6 00:00:27,860 --> 00:00:29,890 ? oh, oh, I'm gonna keep on tryin' ? 7 00:00:29,890 --> 00:00:32,790 ? get by with a little help from my friends ? 8 00:00:32,790 --> 00:00:35,060 ? I'm gonna keep on tryin', now, babe ? 9 00:00:35,060 --> 00:00:38,730 ? ooh, ooh, ooh ? 10 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:41,130 [ Wagner's "bridal chorus" plays ] 11 00:00:41,140 --> 00:00:42,670 It seems to me 12 00:00:42,670 --> 00:00:46,070 A wedding means something different to everyone. 13 00:00:46,070 --> 00:00:50,880 To some, it's an occasion for simple pleasures. 14 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:55,150 And for others, a wedding's implications are more profound. 15 00:00:55,150 --> 00:00:56,250 [ snoring ] 16 00:00:56,250 --> 00:00:59,150 For some, it's a time for contemplation. 17 00:00:59,150 --> 00:01:03,560 For others, a time for regrets. 18 00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:07,490 A chance to measure just how far we've come in life... 19 00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:09,000 So beautiful. 20 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,970 Against the promise of those just starting out. 21 00:01:23,780 --> 00:01:26,410 We are gathered here today 22 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:31,980 To join candy and peter in holy matrimony. 23 00:01:31,990 --> 00:01:34,750 Who gives this bride away? 24 00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:35,520 I do. 25 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:37,220 The bride was the daughter 26 00:01:37,230 --> 00:01:40,560 Of Arthur Jensen, my Dad's boss. 27 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:43,660 Fortunately for my father, Jensen liked him enough 28 00:01:43,670 --> 00:01:46,900 To send an invitation to him and his immediate family. 29 00:01:46,900 --> 00:01:51,900 Unfortunately for me, I qualified as immediate family. 30 00:01:51,910 --> 00:01:55,410 For richer or poorer, for better or worse, 31 00:01:55,410 --> 00:01:57,980 In sickness, and in health... 32 00:01:57,980 --> 00:02:00,150 [ coins clatter ] 33 00:02:00,150 --> 00:02:02,320 - ...Till death do you part? - Can it! 34 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:03,420 I do. 35 00:02:03,420 --> 00:02:07,390 I now pronounce you man and wife. 36 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:11,440 [ Mendelssohn's "wedding march" plays ] 37 00:02:14,900 --> 00:02:16,030 Mm. Mm. 38 00:02:17,670 --> 00:02:19,100 And with that, 39 00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:23,400 Miss Candy Jensen became Mrs. Peter Rotelli. 40 00:02:23,410 --> 00:02:26,840 And my mother completely lost it. 41 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:28,640 [ sobbing ] 42 00:02:34,750 --> 00:02:36,480 [ Sobbing ] 43 00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:39,650 Norma, you okay? It's been 20 minutes. 44 00:02:39,650 --> 00:02:43,090 Weddings always do this to me. 45 00:02:43,090 --> 00:02:44,860 Weddings, bar mitzvahs, 46 00:02:44,860 --> 00:02:48,190 Detergent and fabric softener in one... 47 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:53,870 It was just so beautiful! They're so perfect together. 48 00:02:53,870 --> 00:02:57,100 I guess you could say we were all pretty impressed. 49 00:02:57,110 --> 00:03:00,240 I just want to get this over with. 50 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:00,970 Me too. 51 00:03:00,980 --> 00:03:02,780 What are you talking about? 52 00:03:02,780 --> 00:03:05,980 Don't you know weddings are the best places to meet babes? 53 00:03:05,980 --> 00:03:08,350 Yeah, right. Like you'd know. 54 00:03:08,350 --> 00:03:09,550 [ Chuckles ] 55 00:03:09,550 --> 00:03:10,780 In order... 56 00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:12,420 Weddings, uh, funerals, 57 00:03:12,420 --> 00:03:15,450 Uh, airport lounges, uh, laundromats... 58 00:03:15,460 --> 00:03:17,990 But Wayne's field experience aside, 59 00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:20,730 That day, I was looking to forget about women. 60 00:03:20,730 --> 00:03:23,330 - ...Bus stops, uh... - Well, one woman, anyway. 61 00:03:23,330 --> 00:03:25,770 You know very well what you did,Kevin. 62 00:03:25,770 --> 00:03:26,970 What?! 63 00:03:26,970 --> 00:03:28,770 Honest to god, if you asked me today, 64 00:03:28,770 --> 00:03:31,070 I couldn't tell you what I'd done. 65 00:03:31,070 --> 00:03:32,740 Winnie, what did I do? 66 00:03:32,740 --> 00:03:35,610 - [ Scoffs ] - Just give me a little hint. 67 00:03:35,610 --> 00:03:37,910 Maybe if you just slowed down a little, 68 00:03:37,910 --> 00:03:39,510 You wouldn't need a hint. 69 00:03:39,510 --> 00:03:41,250 But, Winnie, I... 70 00:03:41,250 --> 00:03:44,420 And don't tell me you love me. It's not gonna work. 71 00:03:44,420 --> 00:03:47,850 And there you had it... tried, convicted, and hung, 72 00:03:47,860 --> 00:03:50,160 All of which led me to... 73 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:51,390 This. 74 00:03:51,390 --> 00:03:54,130 Public auctions, uh, taxi stands, 75 00:03:54,130 --> 00:03:56,000 Animal shelters. 76 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,300 In matters of women and weddings, 77 00:03:58,300 --> 00:04:00,530 I was pretty sure where I stood. 78 00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:03,870 [ sighs ] I hate this. 79 00:04:03,870 --> 00:04:06,510 [ Blows nose, continues sobbing ] 80 00:04:06,510 --> 00:04:10,810 Arnolds! [ Laughs ] 81 00:04:10,810 --> 00:04:12,140 Art Jensen. 82 00:04:12,150 --> 00:04:15,050 When it came to my family, he was all heart. 83 00:04:15,050 --> 00:04:18,790 Norma. Oh, Norma, look at you. 84 00:04:18,790 --> 00:04:20,690 [ Cork pops ] ohh. 85 00:04:20,690 --> 00:04:23,390 - And when it came to my mother... -Oh! 86 00:04:23,390 --> 00:04:24,290 He was all hands. 87 00:04:24,290 --> 00:04:26,490 Ahh... Norma, Norma, Norma. 88 00:04:26,490 --> 00:04:30,200 When are you gonna leave this guy and run away with me, huh? 89 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:31,430 - Uh, Arthur... - [ Laughs ] 90 00:04:31,430 --> 00:04:33,000 Jackie boy, good to see you. 91 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,200 Where's Beverly? 92 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:36,440 Well, she's crying her eyes out in the bathroom. 93 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:37,500 She's so happy. 94 00:04:37,510 --> 00:04:39,240 I spent three months' salary on this wedding... 95 00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:40,640 My own wife's not gonna see it. 96 00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:41,770 [ Chuckles ] 97 00:04:41,780 --> 00:04:44,540 - You remember Kevin, our youngest. - I do. 98 00:04:44,550 --> 00:04:45,550 - Kevin. - Hi. 99 00:04:45,550 --> 00:04:46,550 And Wayne. 100 00:04:46,550 --> 00:04:48,480 Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne. 101 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:52,620 Wayne, this may not be the best place to tell you, but... 102 00:04:52,620 --> 00:04:55,150 Well, w-we're cutting back at Norcom, 103 00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:57,790 And we're gonna have to let you go. 104 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:03,760 Just kidding! [ Laughs ] 105 00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:05,530 Just kidding, Wayne! 106 00:05:05,530 --> 00:05:07,570 [ Groans ] 107 00:05:07,570 --> 00:05:08,640 [ laughs ] 108 00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:11,140 Candy, you remember Wayne from work, don't you? 109 00:05:11,140 --> 00:05:13,840 Actually, I don't believe we've ever met. 110 00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:15,070 Well, sure we have. 111 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:17,310 We went out last august, remember? 112 00:05:17,310 --> 00:05:19,780 Uh... No. 113 00:05:19,780 --> 00:05:22,080 [ Clears throat ] thank you, Arthur. 114 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:24,050 - Beautiful wedding. - Thank you for coming, Jack! 115 00:05:24,050 --> 00:05:26,090 And with that, the festivities got under way. 116 00:05:26,090 --> 00:05:27,750 - You look beautiful. - Officially. 117 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:31,390 Not that I was a stranger to these things. 118 00:05:31,390 --> 00:05:34,990 I knew the drill... the fake smiles, the small talk... 119 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:36,000 Hi! 120 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,530 The incredible women... 121 00:05:37,530 --> 00:05:39,230 Linda Carr. 122 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:43,700 Hi. Kevin. 123 00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:45,100 Kevin Arnold. 124 00:05:45,110 --> 00:05:47,970 Hi, Kevin-Kevin Arnold. 125 00:05:47,980 --> 00:05:51,140 So... Quite a place, huh? 126 00:05:51,150 --> 00:05:53,410 And how about that ceremony? 127 00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:56,450 Hey, nothing wrong with being friendly, right? 128 00:05:56,450 --> 00:05:58,550 This is aunt Muriel. 129 00:05:59,590 --> 00:06:03,020 Aren't you a peach! 130 00:06:03,020 --> 00:06:04,520 I was just gonna say 131 00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:07,890 I couldn't shake another hand if you paid me. 132 00:06:07,900 --> 00:06:10,700 But for you, I'll make an exception. 133 00:06:10,700 --> 00:06:11,970 [ Chuckles ] 134 00:06:11,970 --> 00:06:13,470 [ "Bad, bad Leroy brown" plays ] 135 00:06:13,470 --> 00:06:14,470 Thanks. 136 00:06:14,470 --> 00:06:15,470 Uh-huh. 137 00:06:15,470 --> 00:06:17,570 All in all, it was clear 138 00:06:17,570 --> 00:06:20,710 This night was gonna be some fun. 139 00:06:20,710 --> 00:06:23,780 There was mixing and dancing and music... 140 00:06:23,780 --> 00:06:25,110 Such as it was. 141 00:06:25,110 --> 00:06:27,950 ? bad, bad Leroy brown ? 142 00:06:27,950 --> 00:06:30,520 There was food and flowers and booze everywhere. 143 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:32,750 ? baddest man in the whole damn town ? 144 00:06:32,750 --> 00:06:36,420 People who could barely walk got up and danced. 145 00:06:36,420 --> 00:06:40,160 Small children skidded across the floor like hockey pucks. 146 00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:42,900 And friendly folk from all walks of life 147 00:06:42,900 --> 00:06:46,070 Sat down to break bread. 148 00:06:46,070 --> 00:06:48,200 Since we'll be sharing a table together, 149 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,400 I think we should introduce ourselves. 150 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,740 Somehow... I couldn't wait. 151 00:06:53,940 --> 00:06:56,080 I'll start. My name is Morgan. 152 00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:58,950 I enjoy old movies and listening to albums. 153 00:06:58,950 --> 00:07:02,450 I'm also pre-law. 154 00:07:02,450 --> 00:07:06,090 I'm Cynthia. I'm pre-med. [ chuckles ] 155 00:07:06,090 --> 00:07:09,490 And how about you? 156 00:07:09,490 --> 00:07:11,620 I'm Wayne. 157 00:07:11,630 --> 00:07:13,590 Pass the A1. 158 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:20,100 Yeah, nothing like the patented Arnold ice-breaker. 159 00:07:20,100 --> 00:07:22,200 I'm missing an ovary. 160 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:25,300 What? 161 00:07:25,310 --> 00:07:27,070 I like to be right up front about it 162 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:29,480 Because it really doesn't bother me at all. 163 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:32,010 That's good. 164 00:07:32,010 --> 00:07:35,050 Hi. Everybody having a good time? 165 00:07:35,050 --> 00:07:36,820 - Great. - You look beautiful. 166 00:07:36,820 --> 00:07:38,420 You're so lucky, candy. 167 00:07:38,420 --> 00:07:41,290 [ Sighs ] are you enjoying yourself, Kevin? 168 00:07:41,290 --> 00:07:42,190 Yeah. 169 00:07:42,190 --> 00:07:43,590 It's... 170 00:07:43,590 --> 00:07:44,860 [ cork pops ] it's... 171 00:07:44,860 --> 00:07:46,160 It's great. 172 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:47,630 Well, good. 173 00:07:47,630 --> 00:07:49,800 Uh, don't forget, there's more food over at the... 174 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:51,430 Hi. 175 00:07:51,430 --> 00:07:55,500 Uh [chuckles] at the, uh... Buffet... Table. 176 00:07:57,840 --> 00:07:59,770 I guess she didn't see me. 177 00:07:59,770 --> 00:08:01,140 Yeah. 178 00:08:01,140 --> 00:08:03,940 Does anyone mind if I take this centerpiece? 179 00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:06,950 They just throw it out at the end anyway. 180 00:08:09,220 --> 00:08:10,450 So much for dinner. 181 00:08:10,450 --> 00:08:13,620 I decided to lay low, remain inconspicuous... 182 00:08:13,620 --> 00:08:16,360 ? for once I can say this is mine, you can't take it ? 183 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:19,530 You know, blend in with the crowd. 184 00:08:19,530 --> 00:08:22,230 ? I got love, I can make it ? 185 00:08:22,230 --> 00:08:23,630 [ clears throat ] 186 00:08:23,630 --> 00:08:25,430 Though, while I was blending... 187 00:08:25,430 --> 00:08:27,770 Come on. Dance with me one time, please? Just one time. 188 00:08:27,770 --> 00:08:30,100 - Maybe later, Arthur, I promise. - Later? Why? 189 00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:31,740 Mom was fending... 190 00:08:31,740 --> 00:08:33,440 Come on. One dance, all right? 191 00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:34,440 - Oh! - Oh! 192 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:35,810 For all she was worth. 193 00:08:35,810 --> 00:08:38,340 [ laughs ] that's okay. That's all right. No problem. 194 00:08:38,350 --> 00:08:41,410 Hi, Kevin-Kevin Arnold. 195 00:08:41,420 --> 00:08:45,020 Oh! Hi. 196 00:08:45,020 --> 00:08:47,220 It's just "Kevin," you know. 197 00:08:47,220 --> 00:08:49,620 So, having the time of your life? 198 00:08:49,620 --> 00:08:51,020 Yeah, it's great. 199 00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:53,490 Well, I'm just bored crazy. 200 00:08:53,490 --> 00:08:56,400 You know, I think couples should do everyone a favor 201 00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:58,200 And just elope. 202 00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:00,800 Yeah. I know what you mean. 203 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:02,100 Please don't walk away, 204 00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:04,540 And I promise I'll say something interesting. 205 00:09:04,540 --> 00:09:07,310 So, how old are you, anyway? 206 00:09:07,310 --> 00:09:08,940 Let's see, here. 207 00:09:08,940 --> 00:09:09,940 19. 208 00:09:09,940 --> 00:09:11,340 Excellent. 209 00:09:11,350 --> 00:09:13,380 I'm a sophomore at state. 210 00:09:13,380 --> 00:09:16,980 Oh, a state man, huh? 211 00:09:16,980 --> 00:09:19,180 Yep. That's me. 212 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:23,560 You know what would be a lot of fun... 213 00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:25,730 That is, if you're a fun guy. 214 00:09:25,730 --> 00:09:28,590 Are you a fun guy, Kevin-Kevin? 215 00:09:30,330 --> 00:09:32,500 Yeah. Sure. 216 00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:34,430 I love fun. 217 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:39,610 Well, um... 218 00:09:39,610 --> 00:09:42,210 You got any grass? 219 00:09:42,210 --> 00:09:45,010 Grass? 220 00:09:46,180 --> 00:09:47,950 Here? 221 00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:54,650 Yeah, I stashed a kilo in the hat-check room. 222 00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:57,820 Sorry. Fresh out. 223 00:09:57,830 --> 00:10:01,230 Hmm. That's too bad. 224 00:10:01,230 --> 00:10:02,830 That would have been fun. 225 00:10:02,830 --> 00:10:05,770 Well... Bye! 226 00:10:07,130 --> 00:10:10,340 It may have been a turning point. 227 00:10:10,340 --> 00:10:13,540 Sure, I had Winnie. But this was a wedding. 228 00:10:13,540 --> 00:10:15,880 And if weddings were a time for romance, 229 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:17,710 A time for possibility, 230 00:10:17,710 --> 00:10:20,050 A time when we might embrace the unexpected... 231 00:10:20,050 --> 00:10:21,110 Linda. 232 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,350 Then this was my time. 233 00:10:23,350 --> 00:10:24,480 Yeah? 234 00:10:25,820 --> 00:10:27,860 I think I can get us some champagne. 235 00:10:29,090 --> 00:10:33,990 Meet me at the gazebo in half an hour. Okay? 236 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,800 Sure. The gazebo. 237 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:38,660 Whatever that was. 238 00:10:41,070 --> 00:10:43,840 And suddenly, with Linda's words, 239 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:45,770 Everything changed. 240 00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:49,270 The annoying guests, Arthur Jensen... 241 00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:52,140 All became none other than harmless prologue 242 00:10:52,150 --> 00:10:54,350 To the day's main event. 243 00:10:54,350 --> 00:10:57,180 There was no other way to put it... 244 00:10:57,190 --> 00:11:00,020 Things were definitely looking up. 245 00:11:04,060 --> 00:11:06,890 ? I am invincible ? 246 00:11:06,890 --> 00:11:09,330 As afternoon turned into night, 247 00:11:09,330 --> 00:11:12,030 Things began to change. 248 00:11:12,030 --> 00:11:15,330 The music got slower, the champagne flowed, 249 00:11:15,340 --> 00:11:17,400 Romance took center stage... 250 00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:19,210 For Arthur Jensen, anyway. 251 00:11:19,210 --> 00:11:21,870 Norma, this dress really flatters you. 252 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:23,910 [ Sighs ] it's nothing. 253 00:11:23,910 --> 00:11:25,210 Nothing? 254 00:11:25,210 --> 00:11:28,080 If this is nothing, I'd like to see something. 255 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:29,950 Oh! 256 00:11:29,950 --> 00:11:31,150 As for me... 257 00:11:31,150 --> 00:11:32,220 Bartender! 258 00:11:32,220 --> 00:11:35,290 I was on a mission. 259 00:11:35,290 --> 00:11:37,060 Excuse me. 260 00:11:38,590 --> 00:11:39,690 Excuse me! 261 00:11:39,690 --> 00:11:41,030 Just one little hitch. 262 00:11:41,030 --> 00:11:43,900 Hey, what does it take to get a drink around here?! 263 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,230 Hey, Kev. 264 00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:49,370 Dad! 265 00:11:49,370 --> 00:11:51,040 What are you doing here? 266 00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:52,510 What do you mean? 267 00:11:52,510 --> 00:11:55,740 Well, you know, shouldn't you be dancing 268 00:11:55,740 --> 00:11:57,540 With mom... Or someone? 269 00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,480 Can't... she's already dancing. 270 00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:01,780 Your wife's a regular ballerina out there, Jack. 271 00:12:01,780 --> 00:12:04,120 Now, look at you... you're standing around here. 272 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:06,650 What's the matter? Your corns acting up or something? 273 00:12:06,650 --> 00:12:07,650 Bartender! 274 00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:09,660 Let me tell you something, Jack. 275 00:12:09,660 --> 00:12:11,820 Everything costs at these things. 276 00:12:11,830 --> 00:12:13,090 Flowers? 277 00:12:13,090 --> 00:12:15,060 You have no idea how expensive a couple of tulips are. 278 00:12:15,060 --> 00:12:17,300 Hm. You know, you want the napkins folded to look like birds? 279 00:12:17,300 --> 00:12:18,700 That's extra. 280 00:12:18,700 --> 00:12:22,100 Maybe I should quit Norcom and get into catering. 281 00:12:22,100 --> 00:12:23,840 [ Both laugh ] ah, Jack, listen. 282 00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:26,540 I love your lifestyle, man. You keep it real simple. 283 00:12:26,540 --> 00:12:28,470 Plus, you have Norma. 284 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:32,340 Boy! Sometimes I wish I were in your shoes. 285 00:12:32,350 --> 00:12:36,080 Providing, of course, I could keep my own salary. 286 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:37,280 [ laughs ] 287 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:41,590 But somehow, if Dad was looking for me to help... 288 00:12:41,590 --> 00:12:43,020 I got to go. 289 00:12:43,020 --> 00:12:45,190 I'm afraid he was on his own. 290 00:12:45,190 --> 00:12:47,330 Would you like a drink? 291 00:12:47,330 --> 00:12:48,830 [ Up-tempo music plays ] 292 00:12:48,830 --> 00:12:50,600 Please? 293 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:52,430 [ Scoffs ] come on, Wayne. Let me have some of yours. 294 00:12:52,430 --> 00:12:54,330 Get your own champagne. 295 00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:55,670 I'd do it for you! 296 00:12:55,670 --> 00:12:58,140 You know, I believe you would. 297 00:12:58,140 --> 00:12:59,610 I could give you this bottle. 298 00:12:59,610 --> 00:13:01,640 As a matter of fact, if it was up to me, 299 00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:03,380 I'd give it to you right now. 300 00:13:03,380 --> 00:13:05,010 Bingo. 301 00:13:05,010 --> 00:13:08,680 But according to the state drinking law, you're underage, 302 00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:11,520 So if I did, I'd be committing a crime, 303 00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:12,790 And that would be wrong. 304 00:13:12,790 --> 00:13:14,120 Great. 305 00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:16,890 Suddenly, my brother had become Joe Friday. 306 00:13:17,420 --> 00:13:19,560 Hi. 307 00:13:19,560 --> 00:13:21,330 [ Chuckles ] hi. 308 00:13:21,330 --> 00:13:22,800 Candy! 309 00:13:23,930 --> 00:13:26,570 Candy, wait up! 310 00:13:27,970 --> 00:13:29,400 'Scuse me. 311 00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:32,740 And... I was in the bubbly. 312 00:13:32,740 --> 00:13:35,040 Hi. How about one dance with the bride? 313 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:37,640 No, I don't think that would be possible. 314 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,480 W h-how about later, then? 315 00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:42,420 No. I don't think that would be possible, either. 316 00:13:44,090 --> 00:13:46,350 [ Chuckles ] smooth move, ex-lax. 317 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:49,760 Possibly... A mistake. 318 00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:51,990 Give me that. 319 00:13:51,990 --> 00:13:53,630 Hey! 320 00:13:53,630 --> 00:13:55,030 And there it went... 321 00:13:55,030 --> 00:13:58,900 My last chance at romance, intrigue, adventure. 322 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:03,340 My last chance at Linda. 323 00:14:03,340 --> 00:14:05,600 Thanks. Yeah. 324 00:14:05,610 --> 00:14:06,670 Here you go. 325 00:14:06,670 --> 00:14:09,540 And then, just as things looked hopeless, 326 00:14:09,540 --> 00:14:10,810 A miracle. 327 00:14:10,810 --> 00:14:13,750 Suddenly, nothing stood between me and destiny. 328 00:14:13,750 --> 00:14:16,180 There you are, handsome! 329 00:14:16,180 --> 00:14:19,420 Nothing but Mrs. Robinson's stunt double. 330 00:14:19,420 --> 00:14:21,890 Is it time for my dance yet? 331 00:14:21,890 --> 00:14:23,790 Uh... 332 00:14:23,790 --> 00:14:26,330 [ "I am woman" plays ] 333 00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:32,470 Ooh, your arms are so strong! 334 00:14:32,470 --> 00:14:35,130 I bet you could pick me up like a feather. 335 00:14:35,140 --> 00:14:38,570 Sure. One of those rare, 180-pound feathers. 336 00:14:38,570 --> 00:14:39,870 You want to try? 337 00:14:39,870 --> 00:14:40,870 No! 338 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,610 Uh... No, I'd better not. 339 00:14:42,610 --> 00:14:45,340 [ Chuckles ] why don't you lead for a while? 340 00:14:45,350 --> 00:14:48,980 Uh, actually, I got to go. Thanks for the dance, though. 341 00:14:48,980 --> 00:14:50,850 Sure thing, lamb chop. 342 00:14:50,850 --> 00:14:54,420 And, once and for all, I was on my way. 343 00:14:54,420 --> 00:14:56,260 Driven, unrelenting, 344 00:14:56,260 --> 00:14:58,360 Determined to get that champagne, 345 00:14:58,360 --> 00:14:59,760 No matter what it took. 346 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:01,090 Look! 347 00:15:02,660 --> 00:15:06,370 As it happened, it didn't take much. 348 00:15:06,370 --> 00:15:09,540 And with that, I was on my way. 349 00:15:09,540 --> 00:15:11,740 [ crickets chirping ] 350 00:15:11,740 --> 00:15:14,940 I took a moment to contemplate my good fortune, 351 00:15:14,940 --> 00:15:16,480 My incredible luck, 352 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:19,950 The remarkable turn of events that had brought me here. 353 00:15:19,950 --> 00:15:25,820 Sitting with a cold bottle of champagne, waiting... 354 00:15:25,820 --> 00:15:29,760 Pouring... 355 00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:32,990 Sipping... 356 00:15:32,990 --> 00:15:36,400 Slurping... 357 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:39,170 Guzzling... 358 00:15:39,170 --> 00:15:41,930 Chugging... 359 00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:45,670 Sprawling... 360 00:15:45,670 --> 00:15:47,970 Sitting there one hour later, 361 00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:51,540 Three sheets to the wind, drunk as a skunk, 362 00:15:51,550 --> 00:15:54,350 Watching my amazing hand. 363 00:15:59,190 --> 00:16:00,750 Kevin. 364 00:16:02,790 --> 00:16:04,760 You know very well what you've done. 365 00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:06,860 How could you? 366 00:16:06,860 --> 00:16:08,430 Uh-oh. 367 00:16:12,030 --> 00:16:13,730 Kevin? 368 00:16:13,730 --> 00:16:15,970 Linda. 369 00:16:15,970 --> 00:16:16,840 Kevin. 370 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:18,470 [ Pop! ] I had only one choice - 371 00:16:18,470 --> 00:16:21,710 Attempt to play it straight. 372 00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:25,010 I brought you some champagne. 373 00:16:30,550 --> 00:16:34,850 Look. I didn't really feel much like champagne, anyway. 374 00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:39,090 Oh. 375 00:16:39,090 --> 00:16:40,830 Yeah. 376 00:16:40,830 --> 00:16:42,490 Right. 377 00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:48,570 And I guess that's when I realized a couple of things. 378 00:16:48,570 --> 00:16:51,800 One... I'd just lost out to a guy in a really bad tux. 379 00:16:52,610 --> 00:16:54,970 I better be going now. 380 00:16:54,980 --> 00:16:59,950 And two... for 16 years, I'd taken standing up for granted. 381 00:17:02,550 --> 00:17:05,780 Kevin, are you gonna be all right? 382 00:17:05,790 --> 00:17:07,350 [ Snorts ] 383 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:08,720 Yeah. 384 00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:11,990 Yes. No problem. 385 00:17:16,430 --> 00:17:19,000 Even in my stupor, I knew what I'd done. 386 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:23,270 I'd behaved like an idiot, betrayed my girlfriend. 387 00:17:23,270 --> 00:17:25,440 I'd acted like a fool. 388 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:27,040 And now... 389 00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:28,040 Linda. 390 00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:29,880 Yes, Kevin? 391 00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:33,180 It was time to face the truth... 392 00:17:33,180 --> 00:17:36,150 About myself, about my past. 393 00:17:36,150 --> 00:17:38,920 Time to stand up and act like a man. 394 00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:42,390 But maybe most of all... 395 00:17:42,390 --> 00:17:43,660 It was time to come clean. 396 00:17:43,660 --> 00:17:45,160 I... 397 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:47,660 Yes, Kevin? 398 00:17:47,660 --> 00:17:49,530 [ Gags, retches ] 399 00:17:49,530 --> 00:17:51,930 - Aah! Ugh! - So I did. 400 00:17:51,930 --> 00:17:54,070 [ feedback ] 401 00:17:54,070 --> 00:17:56,770 Excuse me. [ chuckles ] excuse me. 402 00:17:56,770 --> 00:17:57,970 Excuse me. 403 00:17:57,970 --> 00:18:01,410 Uh, before you all go, I just want to say a few words. 404 00:18:01,410 --> 00:18:03,780 By the time I got back from the men's room, 405 00:18:03,780 --> 00:18:06,080 I wasn't feeling too good about anything. 406 00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:08,750 About weddings, about marriage... 407 00:18:08,750 --> 00:18:11,680 About human nature. 408 00:18:11,690 --> 00:18:13,650 And at that moment, I couldn't help but think 409 00:18:13,650 --> 00:18:15,920 That all the proposed romance behind a wedding 410 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:16,960 Was just a sham. 411 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:18,460 You gonna dance with me later? 412 00:18:18,460 --> 00:18:20,160 - [ Sighs ] - Huh? 413 00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:23,430 For those of you who don't know me, I got married here today. 414 00:18:23,430 --> 00:18:24,430 [ Rimshot ] 415 00:18:24,430 --> 00:18:26,060 Yeah, and I paid for it. 416 00:18:26,070 --> 00:18:29,300 [ laughter ] 417 00:18:29,300 --> 00:18:30,400 There it was. 418 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:31,800 An empty ritual, 419 00:18:31,810 --> 00:18:35,210 Dressed up in lies and hypocrisy and greed. 420 00:18:35,210 --> 00:18:38,210 Not many of you know the story behind candy and me. 421 00:18:38,210 --> 00:18:39,980 I'm not gonna tell it now. 422 00:18:39,980 --> 00:18:43,080 I just wouldn't want anyone to leave here today 423 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:46,290 Not knowing how I feel about her. 424 00:18:46,290 --> 00:18:48,920 I feel, uh... 425 00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:52,060 Very lucky today. 426 00:18:52,060 --> 00:18:54,330 I don't know what you guys are gonna remember 427 00:18:54,330 --> 00:18:55,960 About this wedding today, uh... 428 00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,160 So I'm gonna ask you to remember one thing... 429 00:18:58,170 --> 00:19:01,430 That you know how happy... 430 00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:05,140 And lucky, uh, fortunate... 431 00:19:05,140 --> 00:19:10,340 I feel, that I get to say that candy is my wife. 432 00:19:10,340 --> 00:19:11,910 [ Applause ] 433 00:19:15,650 --> 00:19:17,620 We did things kind of the old-fashioned way... 434 00:19:17,620 --> 00:19:19,620 Oh, for 1972, anyway. 435 00:19:19,620 --> 00:19:21,490 I'm glad we waited. 436 00:19:21,490 --> 00:19:22,790 Honey? 437 00:19:22,790 --> 00:19:24,960 [ Applause ] 438 00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:27,240 - Aww! - Aww! -Aww! 439 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:33,830 It was a testament to romance at its finest and most pure. 440 00:19:33,830 --> 00:19:36,700 It was a declaration of virtue... 441 00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:39,810 Simple and gracious and real. 442 00:19:39,810 --> 00:19:42,570 And after a day of infidelities... 443 00:19:42,580 --> 00:19:47,310 Some proposed and planned, some more subtle... 444 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:48,710 I felt for the first time 445 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:51,650 That someone believed in something a little different... 446 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:54,920 In love... 447 00:19:56,860 --> 00:19:58,160 In commitment... 448 00:19:58,160 --> 00:19:59,190 All right. 449 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,130 You ready? 450 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:04,800 Arthur. 451 00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,600 Yeah? 452 00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:09,200 In each other. 453 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:12,040 If you don't get your arm off my wife... 454 00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:14,370 I'm gonna break it off. 455 00:20:17,010 --> 00:20:18,580 Jack, what... 456 00:20:19,380 --> 00:20:21,410 Come on. Let's dance. 457 00:20:25,450 --> 00:20:26,890 Jack. 458 00:20:28,490 --> 00:20:32,020 It almost made me glad to be there. 459 00:20:32,030 --> 00:20:33,290 ? fly me to the moon ? 460 00:20:33,290 --> 00:20:34,760 I guess you could say 461 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:38,230 That weddings mean a lot of things to a lot of people. 462 00:20:38,230 --> 00:20:39,700 [ camera shutter clicks ] 463 00:20:39,700 --> 00:20:42,230 ? Let me see what spring is like ? 464 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:46,440 We might cry at the romance unfulfilled in our own lives 465 00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:49,670 And shrink at the unforeseen compromises 466 00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:52,640 Our lives have held for us. 467 00:20:52,650 --> 00:20:55,780 But weddings also bring out hope... 468 00:20:55,780 --> 00:20:57,180 And promise... 469 00:20:57,180 --> 00:20:58,880 And possibility. 470 00:20:58,890 --> 00:21:02,450 ? baby, kiss me ? 471 00:21:02,460 --> 00:21:06,160 After all, as we choose our partners, 472 00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:10,160 Some of us make our choices for life. 473 00:21:12,170 --> 00:21:17,000 And some of us dance with just one of many. 474 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:21,210 And sometimes, for the lucky ones, 475 00:21:21,210 --> 00:21:24,580 We remember why we picked who we did. 476 00:21:24,580 --> 00:21:26,310 And after years of fighting 477 00:21:26,310 --> 00:21:28,750 Over burnt toast and bounced checks, 478 00:21:28,750 --> 00:21:32,020 We might, for a brief moment, 479 00:21:32,020 --> 00:21:34,750 Look at each other as we once did, 480 00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:40,030 Before kids and mortgages and routine conspired against us. 481 00:21:46,830 --> 00:21:50,140 And others are content to postpone their choices... 482 00:21:50,140 --> 00:21:53,270 Knowing somehow that the future, 483 00:21:53,270 --> 00:21:55,510 Like that Saturday afternoon, 484 00:21:55,510 --> 00:22:01,280 Will tempt us with dances both slow and fast. 485 00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:03,580 Come over here, Barbara! 486 00:22:03,580 --> 00:22:06,080 ? Fill my heart with song ? 487 00:22:06,090 --> 00:22:08,590 That was a really nice speech, huh? 488 00:22:08,590 --> 00:22:10,420 You know, the stuff about love 489 00:22:10,420 --> 00:22:12,520 And that whole part about waiting. 490 00:22:12,530 --> 00:22:15,230 ? You are all I long for ? 491 00:22:15,230 --> 00:22:19,260 Maybe he waited, but... She didn't. 492 00:22:20,470 --> 00:22:22,030 ? In other words ? 493 00:22:23,340 --> 00:22:25,340 ? please be true ? 494 00:22:25,340 --> 00:22:26,870 You? 495 00:22:28,780 --> 00:22:30,240 Where? 496 00:22:31,580 --> 00:22:33,050 At a wedding. 497 00:22:33,050 --> 00:22:37,080 ? In other words ? 498 00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:39,220 ? I ? 499 00:22:39,220 --> 00:22:41,250 ? love ? 500 00:22:44,390 --> 00:22:45,560 ? you ? 501 00:22:45,610 --> 00:22:50,160 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 34092

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