All language subtitles for The Middle s04e09 Christmas Help.eng

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Okay, everybody.
I'll see you next week.

Isn't Reverend Timtom amazing?

Eh, beats grocery shopping with mom.

Ever since I outgrew the cart,

it is much harder to read and walk.

Hey there, Brick.
Can we rap a sec?

I can rap a second, Reverend Timtom.

What's up?

Hello, Sue Heck.

I actually have a question for Brick.

You know, our Christmas
pageant's coming up...

"JC's Rockin' Birthday Jam."

And I'd sure dig it
if you'd be one of my wise men.

'Cause, Brick,

you're the wisest man I know.

Well, it is the holiday season,

and I'm not as busy as I'd like to be,

so, sure.

Wait. I'm not as busy
as I'd like to be, either.

- Can I be in it?
- I'd sure love that,

but it's only for kids 12 and under.

Pfft.

Cool.

Yeah. No prob.

But hey. Not to worry.

I saved a very important job for you.

Really?

How would you feel

about makin' cookies
for the concession stand?

Ha! I love cookies!

And concession stands.

I knew I could count on you, Sue Heck.

And I'm really psyched

about you being in the play, Brick.

What play?

Well, I've paid the minimums
on all the credit cards,

sent in my first tuition payment

and conveniently
forgot to sign the check,

so I think it'll buy us another week.

Attagirl!

And we still have $20 left
to buy Christmas presents.

Okay, maybe a little more than that,

but seriously, Mike, not our best year.

Did we have a best year?

Well, we're just gonna have
to come with a way

to do Christmas on the cheap.

I mean, the kids are older now.
They'll get it, right?

Hey, maybe we give 'em homemade gifts?

You know, from the heart?

They're still gonna want presents.

Okay, well, how about we...
we go outside

and throw snowballs
and make snow angels

and create a magical Christmas memory?

They're still gonna want presents.

Okay. All right.
Go with me here...

I... fake my own death,

and then I just show up
on Christmas day...

"Surprise! I'm alive!"

"Glad you're not dead, mom!

Now where's my presents?"

Okay. We'll figure
something out.

Guess what?

Reverend Timtom's
doing this cool Christmas pageant,

"JC's Rockin' Birthday Jam."

Brick's in it.
He's gonna be a wise man.

But get this...
I... am making the cookies!

Brick's gonna be in a play?

And I'm making the cookies!
Ha! Can you believe it?

Yeah, wow, Sue.

So do you have a part?

I'm the wise man

who brings frankincense
to the baby Jesus.

I really wanted myrrh.

Myrrh.

Mom, where do you keep
the cookie cutters?

The store.

I don't know, Frankie.

Brick in a play?

In front of people?
People we know?

I know. It doesn't sound
like a great idea

when you're just hearing it.

But who knows?
It could be his thing.

All those actors
in Hollywood are weird, right?

Brick's weird.

Yeah, he's definitely that.

I don't know, Mike.
I think he might surprise us.

- He won't.
- Wh...

Where are you going?

I told Rusty I'd help him
move some furniture.

Yeah, 'cause everyone knows

the best time to move furniture
is when it's dark out.

I guess some friend of his

is giving him some old stuff
from his place,

and he wants the stuff moved out

before he gets back into town.

This is ridiculous.
Seriously, Mike,

what is wrong with your brother?

The "what's not wrong with him"
list is shorter.

Hey, Axl. I was thinking.

What if this year,

we do something different
Christmas morning?

We wake up, rush outside,
make snow angels,

drink hot cocoa
with little marshmallows,

and create some
wonderful Christmas memories?

Cool. Then we come inside
and open presents?

How about this lamp?
Is it going?

Yeah, sure.

Is he giving you the lamp or not?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Hang on.
Hang on. Hang on.

Man.

You still carrying that matchbox
car around in your pocket?

You've had that thing
since we were kids.

Yeah, I like
to fiddle around with it

when I'm in line and stuff.
Nervous habit.

- It's that or smoking.

Actually, it's that and smoking.

And you said
it wouldn't fit.

Somebody owes me breakfast.

Yeah, I owe you.

Seem kind of crabby tonight, Mike.

Somethin' wrong?

Yeah, there's something wrong, Rusty.

I didn't know we were gonna be
moving all this furniture

into my garage.

Well, we haven't
moved our old stuff

out of Marlene's yet.
I guess I forgot to tell ya.

Okay, let's get this garage door down.

We wouldn't want people
knowing it's here.

Hang on.

Why wouldn't we want people
knowing it's here?

This is your stuff, right?

Yes.
I won it fair and square.

What do you mean, you "won it"?

Well, me and a bunch of the guys

were playin' poker,
and I called acey deucey.

Sure, I had a lot
of corn nuts in my mouth,

but everybody heard me.

- And if you asked
the guy we took it from,

- what would he say?
- He'd say we stole it.

And what would the other people
at the table say?

Well, they'd probably side with him.

You know how cops stick together.

You telling me
we broke into a cop's house

and stole his furniture?
Are you nuts?!

Now look, any jury that plays poker

would side with me.

I'm not keeping this stuff
in my garage, Rusty.

It's going back now.

I can't now.
I gotta get the truck back

before the guy who owns it
finds out it's missing.

So you stole a truck, too?

Well, he'd say that, but he owes me.

You know those guys that take and take

and never give back?

Yeah. I think I do.

Okay, I figure 20 cast members,
2 parents each.

Siblings, 1.5 grandparents,

crew members, church people,

5% accidental crumblage.

Okay, I am going to need...

1,200 cookies. Ha ha!

Sue, quilt.

Sorry.

So... guess who got hired
at JJ Macky's?

Why do people say "guess who"?
I know it's you.

Can't you just
have fun with this?

Look, they're hiring
extra help for the holidays.

And the best part is,

I get an additional 30% discount

off their already low, low prices.

Yep!

We're gonna score our kids
some Christmas presents, baby.

See? What did I tell ya?

Weird.

Hi, Penny?
I'm Frankie.

It's my first day. I guess
we're gonna be working together.

Well, welcome aboard, Frankie.

You're gonna love working here.

We like to think of ourselves
as a big ol' family.

Great.

So just picking up
a few things on my break.

I'm getting this for my daughter.

She loves rainbows.

And my son's been wanting
this clock radio

that projects the time
up onto the ceiling,

'cause I guess it's too much

to roll over and see that it's noon.

Right.

All right.
Okay, that's $78.96.

Hold on. I think
you forgot my employee discount.

Yeah, that doesn't
kick in for 20 days.

20 days?

That's all the way
up to... Christmas Eve.

Yeah, I know.

See, people used to take these jobs

just so they can buy their presents,

- and then quit.
- What?

Well, that's not me.

If anything, I wanna be a lifer.

- There's nothing
I would like better

than to just grow old and die here.

Well, if you do,

we all sign a vest, frame it,

and give it to your family.

Over the next few days,

Mike's brother Rusty
was at his most rustiest.

Hey, Mike.

I was on my way over
to get that furniture,

but then I realized
I don't have any shoes.

I'll keep you posted.

Hey, Mike.
Good news. I got the truck.

But then dad asked me to
help him pick up folding chairs

at a funeral home in Lafayette.

Bad news... we're stranded
in Lafayette.

I'll keep you posted.

Hey, sorry I haven't called
in a few days.

I lost your number,
but then I found it.

- Anyway, today's not good.
- I'll keep you posted.

What are you doing?

Chillin' in my new crib.

Your "crib" is full
of stolen furniture.

Hey! It's not stolen,

'cause Uncle Rusty called acey deucey.

Now could you close the door, please?

I'm not paying to heat the world.

Well, the days until Christmas
were going by fast,

and so were all my Christmas presents.

I'm not sure about the size,
but this is the only one left.

How do I look?

Fat.
I mean, you're not fat.

The sweatshirt makes you look fat.

And that rainbow pattern?
A little young for you.

It is a little young for me.

I'll get it for my niece.

A clock radio.

My hopes of a discount
Christmas were fading fast.

All I wanted to do was kick up my feet

with a can of frosting.

But Sue had already used up all my
cabinet frosting.

So I had to go deep into my reserves.

Seriously?

Coming together, right?

Masculine, yet with a touch of whimsy.

Your frosting's not there.

I put that and your other stuff
in the back,

'cause it was an eyesore.

And, instead of
a new amp for Christmas,

I'd like an accent rug.

You know, really help define the space.

Yeah, well, don't get too comfy,

'cause it's all going back.

You know, that kind of attitude
is why I moved out!

So while Axl was enjoying
his uncle's stolen furniture,

Mike was busy trying to return it.

What is this?

How are you gonna
take the furniture back

in that clown car?

I think if you stack it right...

Damn it, Rusty!

You can't keep doing this!
Enough!

You're driving me crazy!

You're irresponsible, unreliable.

You're possibly a felon!

Hey, hey, hey. I think
you're being unreasonable.

I spent the whole morning
rounding this car up,

putting $2 of gas in it,

which I'm not even
gonna charge you for.

A "thank you" might be nice.

Okay, Sue, time to
shut down the cookie factory

I gotta rummage through
the fridge for dinner.

That's okay.
We already have dinner plans.

Yeah, we're going over to Axl's.

Should never go over to
somebody's house empty-handed.

I'm done.

- What do you mean?
- I'm done.

I'm done with my brother.
It's over.

I told him not to come for Christmas.

You did?

If he were a friend, I'd have
been done with him years ago!

I get nothing out of it but headaches!

And I don't want to hear
"you do for family," Frankie.

I did enough for him.
I'm done.

Okay, then.

Okay.

No.

I forgot about cookies
for Christmas dinner!

How many people are coming?

Are grandpa and Uncle Rusty coming?

- Whoever's comin' is comin'.
- Whoever isn't, isn't.

Well, I'm not
wise man number two anymore.

Brick.

I'm wise man number two
and number three.

Turns out wise man three
has a bit of a shoving problem.

So my new line is,

"I bring you frankincense,
and he brings you myrrh."

Brick, that's great!

Two parts.

They must think you're
doing a really great job.

And you get to say "myrrh"
like you wanted.

When you got it, you got it.

What do you got there?

It's the invitation
to Axl's Christmas party.

Didn't you get one?

Awkward.

Hey.

Where the hell's my Christmas tree?

Well, Axl was certainly
prepared for Christmas,

and with ten days
until my discount kicked in,

I was preparing in my own way.

- Hey.
- Hey!

I swear you would not believe
the lengths customers go to

to hide stuff so they can buy it
later when the sales kick in.

No. I can believe it.

Okay, now what
are we gonna do tomorrow?

Rock it for Jesus!

Okay.

Brick, it's been a long day.
Let's go.

Okay, one second.

I need to get fitted for my crown.

Brick.

Bye!

Holidays can be a stressful time.

So I hear.

You know, Mike, I get the sense

that something's weighing on your mind.

You know, I'm a pretty good listener.

No. I'm good.

Dealing with family can be tough.

Yeah? I hadn't
really thought about it.

But you know, you don't
have to do it alone.

Alone's fine.

I'm talking 'bout kickin' it upstairs

to a different department.

All lines open 24/7.

Okay. Yeah.

Thanks, but the Colts are rebuilding,

and I don't want to
distract him from that.

You know,
he's a pretty good multitasker.

I bet he could handle
you and the Colts.

Just something to think about, Mike.

Will do. Brick!

I'm just gonna go get him.

Sure.

So the end of my 20th day
had finally come,

and my discount was kicking in.

All I had to do was make it to closing

cash out, and hightail it
to Brick's play.

Look at this.
Found another stash.

And I don't even wanna tell you

what I just pulled out of
a mannequin's underpants.

Legally, I can't resell it.

You know what? Let me put
that stuff back for you, Penny.

You've been working so hard all week.

Thanks, Frankie.

You're a real go-getter.

Well, I wasn't fishing
for that compliment,

but I'll reel it in.

Reel...

Sweet.

Come on!

Eye. Eye. Beard.

Eye. Eye. Beard.

Eye. Eye. Cramp!

God! Hand cramp!

No! Not now! Not now!

Come on, Sue, hurry it up.

We're gonna be late
for your brother's play.

No!

I've been robbed!

What happened to all my cool stuff?

It wasn't your stuff.

I got a couple guys
and a truck from the quarry,

and I took it all back.

So where am I supposed to live now?

- How about in your room?
- I can't go back to that dump

after living in the garage.
Are you crazy?

I need my sick crib!

Pfft.

So, my brother...

I mean... well, you saw.
You're probably up to speed.

I'm just wondering
if I did the right thing.

I-I don't know if you
show me, or...

if that's even the way it works.

Frankie's more the church person.

If you told her and she told me,

that'd be fine.

Anyway, thanks for Andrew Luck.

Cookies!
Get your Santa cookies.

Once they're gone, they're gone.

If everyone could please grab a seat,

"JC's Rockin' Birthday Jam"
is about to begin.

The kids have been working real hard.

So sit back, enjoy the show.
Thanks for coming down.

Where were you?
Why are you so late?

I was hiding presents

on this really high shelf

so nobody would
buy them out from under me.

- Smart.
- I know, right?

Until somebody wheeled my ladder away

and I got stuck up there.

By the time I got down,
the store was closed,

the manager was gone,

and I had to roll under the gate.

So you didn't get any presents?

No. Zip. Zero presents.

But tomorrow's Christmas.

Really, Mike?
I did not know that.

So it was Christmas Eve,

and none of us were in the spirit.

And Brick's performance
wasn't making it any better.

- What's he doing?
- I don't know.

There it is, the star in the east.

It will lead us to the new king.

So we shall take our son to Egypt

and save him from Herod's wrath.

You didn't do that right.

It's kind of a big moment,
and you didn't sell it.

Now he's a director.

I bring you gold.

Brick!

I bring you gold.

I bring you gold,

he brings you frankincense,
and he brings you myrrh!

What's he doing now?

He's looking up.

He's twirling his crown.

He's eating a cookie.

One of mine?

Well, sometimes people surprise you,

and sometimes they don't.

Sometimes, they act exactly
the way you expect them to.

I guess we won't be moving
to Hollywood anytime soon.

No, I don't think so.

These are the actual cookies
eaten by a wise man on stage.

Hey, Sue Heck.

Terrific job on the concession stand.

No. I failed.
But it's okay.

You know, you can tell me.
I can take it.

Well, probably not,
so I would go easy on me.

You don't fail when you do your best.

Anyway, I'm headed up to Bloomington.

They have this big interfaith
snowball fight on campus

where they work out
thousands of years of conflict

in a fun, safe environment.

Would it be cool if I took
some of your delicious cookies?

Yes.

I just wish there was more of 'em.

Well, I have
a thousand more in the car.

I mean that. A thousand.

Brick! Hey.

So what happened?

You seemed a little
distracted up there.

Really?

- Yeah.

For the whole second half,
you faced the back of the stage.

Well,
I gave it a whack.

Whack.

Whoop.

Dude, that was awesome.

This thing was
a total suck-fest

till you showed up, seriously.

You rocked it. That
shoe-squeaking was hilarious.

Thanks.
I saw it on a TV show

where guys in shiny shorts
ran up and down a floor,

and I really liked the squeaking sound.

Brick, that was
a basketball game.

Yeah, it was. Up top.

Come on.
One more. Is that all you got?

Whoop. Nope. Not this time.

No... It's okay, one more.
No! Sorry.

And at that moment, Mike realized...

Brick was Axl's weird brother.

And it'd kill him if he ever
thought there would come a day

when they would stop
speaking to each other.

I'm telling you, man,
it's a golden opportunity.

I don't know, Rusty.

Come on, Mike, how many llamas
can I put you down for?

- What is this?
- Mom?

Is this a joke?

Okay, those are from
the JJ Macky Christmas mailer,

and they represent presents to come.

A Camaro? Awesome!

Turn it around.

A shirt?

So Mike and Rusty made up.

It wasn't that hard,

'cause Rusty hadn't realized
they were even in a fight.

And I made up for Christmas day
the day after Christmas,

with 50% off plus my employee discount.

Yep, the Heck family cleaned up.

I think we may have
a new family tradition.

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