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1
00:00:04,151 --> 00:00:05,662
Everybody loves winter...
2
00:00:05,927 --> 00:00:07,534
Till it goes on forever.
3
00:00:07,750 --> 00:00:11,158
Then you get a little something
called the winter blahs.
4
00:00:11,359 --> 00:00:12,751
I'm bored.
5
00:00:12,935 --> 00:00:16,167
We all are.
Go over to the Donahues'.
6
00:00:16,326 --> 00:00:18,192
Can't.
They just got a new car,
7
00:00:18,334 --> 00:00:20,095
and they're all out
riding around in it.
8
00:00:20,254 --> 00:00:23,078
How come we never get anything
good? I wish I was a donahue.
9
00:00:23,246 --> 00:00:24,135
Me, too.
10
00:00:24,431 --> 00:00:27,623
Me, too. Look, we all agree,
none of us want to be us,
11
00:00:27,703 --> 00:00:29,816
but we're stuck being us,
so just climb on board.
12
00:00:29,902 --> 00:00:31,950
Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God! I won!
13
00:00:32,047 --> 00:00:35,902
I won a contest!
14
00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:40,480
Now you may wonder why
we weren't more excited,
15
00:00:40,590 --> 00:00:43,936
but, see, over the years,
Sue'd won a lot of contests.
16
00:00:44,046 --> 00:00:48,743
I won a free mix-in
at the yogurt store. Aah!
17
00:00:48,855 --> 00:00:51,575
Hundredth caller! K-102
morning zoo bumper sticker
18
00:00:51,654 --> 00:00:53,896
Pickle lover's recipe book!
19
00:00:53,999 --> 00:00:56,815
52 pickle recipes
with colored pictures!
20
00:00:59,703 --> 00:01:01,447
I won a trip to New York!
21
00:01:02,079 --> 00:01:04,727
Look, you guys. I won!
I really won!
22
00:01:04,847 --> 00:01:06,295
You really won a trip
to New York?
23
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,055
I was at the orthodontist,
24
00:01:09,166 --> 00:01:11,191
and in this travel magazine,
there was this little card
25
00:01:11,303 --> 00:01:13,943
you had to fill out with
"I love..." Blank... "York"
26
00:01:14,008 --> 00:01:16,503
and mail it in. I put "new,"
and I guess I was right. Whew.
27
00:01:16,654 --> 00:01:20,526
So lucky. I was this close to saying "Michael.
" Oh, my God, Mike.
28
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:25,976
Airfare and hotel.
It's a trip for four to New York! Aah! Aah!
29
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:32,431
We won a trip for four, we won a trip
for four
give me that. Let me see.
30
00:01:32,559 --> 00:01:33,711
We won a trip for four
hey!
31
00:01:33,798 --> 00:01:34,840
Yeah!
Look at you! Nice going.
32
00:01:34,942 --> 00:01:36,263
We won a trip for four
33
00:01:36,366 --> 00:01:37,976
we won a trip for four
34
00:01:38,095 --> 00:01:38,926
What's going on?
35
00:01:41,943 --> 00:01:43,599
The four of us are going
to New York.
36
00:01:47,023 --> 00:01:49,127
I told you, we never should've
had the extra kid.
37
00:01:49,198 --> 00:01:53,808
Odd numbers are always trouble.
Well, what are we gonna do? Should we leave Brick here?
38
00:01:53,911 --> 00:01:55,702
He'll probably
just have his nose stuck in a book
39
00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:58,079
the whole time anyway,
and is he really old enough
40
00:01:58,174 --> 00:02:03,214
to appreciate it? Good night, mom.
Good night, dad. I love you guys.
41
00:02:03,543 --> 00:02:05,775
Oh, he's good.
42
00:02:06,047 --> 00:02:08,864
And he has ears
like a bat, apparently.
43
00:02:08,975 --> 00:02:11,647
Look, Frankie, you should
just take the kids.
44
00:02:11,751 --> 00:02:14,782
I'll stay here. You would be
taking the kids, right?
45
00:02:14,911 --> 00:02:18,863
Mike, you have to go.
Listen, we all have to go.
46
00:02:18,958 --> 00:02:22,094
I mean, do you realize
how lucky we are to have won?
47
00:02:22,175 --> 00:02:23,263
The Donahues might have
a new car,
48
00:02:23,352 --> 00:02:26,432
but the hecks won
four tickets to New York.
49
00:02:26,551 --> 00:02:28,903
Well, if we were really lucky,
we'd have won five.
50
00:02:29,038 --> 00:02:31,608
Okay, we can think
of this as a problem,
51
00:02:31,687 --> 00:02:36,758
or we can think of it as a probletunity.
Probletunity?
52
00:02:36,879 --> 00:02:38,551
It's good, right?
53
00:02:38,711 --> 00:02:39,743
We just have to get creative.
54
00:02:39,863 --> 00:02:42,232
We can get an extra ticket on
one of those discount web sites.
55
00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:44,662
I mean, sure, we might have
to fly at an inconvenient time,
56
00:02:44,743 --> 00:02:45,991
but you can save a lot
of money.
57
00:02:46,456 --> 00:02:50,104
It's 6:00! We overslept!
We're gonna miss our flight!
58
00:02:50,214 --> 00:02:51,663
The cushion is gone, people!
59
00:02:51,792 --> 00:02:55,406
It's gone! No pooping!
No shower! The cushion's gone!
60
00:02:55,582 --> 00:02:56,295
Damn it!
61
00:02:57,663 --> 00:02:58,663
Go, go, go, go!
62
00:02:58,831 --> 00:03:01,272
Come on. You heard your mother!
Go, go, go! Axl!
63
00:03:03,648 --> 00:03:05,055
Ohh.
Where's your orange shirt?!
64
00:03:05,167 --> 00:03:06,502
You're supposed to be
wearing orange! Oh!
65
00:03:06,599 --> 00:03:09,575
We're all wearing orange, so nobody gets lost.
Yeah, I'm not doing that.
66
00:03:09,663 --> 00:03:11,334
Mike! Yeah, I'm not
doing that either.
67
00:03:11,407 --> 00:03:13,030
Oh, thank God I was so excited
I slept in my clothes.
68
00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:14,566
Oh, no. Woofy dog!
69
00:03:14,659 --> 00:03:20,231
Suitcase, I.D., purse, phones.
Okay. Come on, people!
70
00:03:20,343 --> 00:03:22,719
Car, car, car!
Let's go, go, go, go, go!
71
00:03:23,966 --> 00:03:24,790
Where's Brick?!
72
00:03:24,878 --> 00:03:28,039
Right here. Oh. Okay. We can make it!
Go, go! Come on! Come on!
73
00:03:28,143 --> 00:03:29,871
We're gonna make it!
We're gonna make it!
74
00:03:29,967 --> 00:03:32,375
Out the door. Out the door.
Out the door. Whoo!
75
00:03:32,463 --> 00:03:34,326
New York City, here we come!
76
00:03:36,053 --> 00:03:37,805
I can't believe I got bumped
up to first class.
77
00:03:37,939 --> 00:03:41,780
Sweet! You didn't get the upgrade!
If anyone got the upgrade, it's me.
78
00:03:41,907 --> 00:03:44,061
Pfft. Please.
Just being allowed to travel
79
00:03:44,156 --> 00:03:46,141
with the humans is an upgrade
for you. I thought they were
80
00:03:46,229 --> 00:03:47,652
gonna make us check you
with the rest of the pets.
81
00:03:47,756 --> 00:03:50,828
Oh, yeah! Ax-man's
already swinging at 8:00 A.M.
82
00:03:50,948 --> 00:03:54,181
Cool it, ax-man. Everyone will
get their chance in first class.
83
00:03:55,739 --> 00:03:57,181
Where's Brick?!
Right here.
84
00:03:57,308 --> 00:04:00,940
Okay, you know,
I'm tired, and you wander,
85
00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:03,164
so put this on.
86
00:04:03,301 --> 00:04:05,180
Okay.
87
00:04:07,988 --> 00:04:10,516
Ohh. All right.
88
00:04:11,261 --> 00:04:14,332
Ma'am, you're gonna need
to check that bag.
89
00:04:14,660 --> 00:04:16,452
Oh, no. No. That's okay.
No, thanks.
90
00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:18,652
We're not checking any bags.
We're just carrying on.
91
00:04:18,780 --> 00:04:22,524
Ma'am, if it won't fit through
the screener...
92
00:04:22,611 --> 00:04:23,765
You're gonna have to check
that bag.
93
00:04:23,980 --> 00:04:27,980
For $2a bag, it'll fit.
Uh... ma'am.
94
00:04:28,557 --> 00:04:33,027
Make it...
Make it...
95
00:04:35,645 --> 00:04:36,332
You know what?
96
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:37,083
It'll fit.
97
00:04:37,181 --> 00:04:39,684
I just gotta rearrange
a few things.
98
00:04:40,539 --> 00:04:41,436
Ay. Okay.
99
00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:44,404
Hey, everybody,
put some clothes on. Come on.
100
00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:48,596
Just shut the suitcase! Mom, shut the bag!
Put some clothes on! Just put some clothes on.
101
00:04:48,875 --> 00:04:52,988
I'm already sweating. This is ridiculous.
Come on. Right now. Put 'em on. Do it quick.
102
00:04:53,107 --> 00:04:54,244
Put the clothes on.
Get 'em on. Okay!
103
00:04:56,908 --> 00:04:59,477
Here. Take the jacket. Get '.
104
00:04:59,620 --> 00:05:00,403
Whoo! Did it!
I did it.
105
00:05:00,468 --> 00:05:01,301
Suck it, security lady.
I made it fit!
106
00:05:01,419 --> 00:05:03,924
I did not know
you were not allowed
107
00:05:04,021 --> 00:05:05,708
to say "suck it" in security.
108
00:05:05,827 --> 00:05:07,764
That must be one
of those new t.S.A. Rules.
109
00:05:07,964 --> 00:05:10,244
Sir, do you have
any electronics in your bag...
110
00:05:10,331 --> 00:05:13,596
camera, portable DVD player,
iPod, iPad, laptop?
111
00:05:13,677 --> 00:05:16,068
My wife's wearing 3 coats
to save $25.
112
00:05:16,173 --> 00:05:17,020
What do you think?
113
00:05:19,027 --> 00:05:20,692
Oh. We made it.
114
00:05:20,804 --> 00:05:22,509
We made it. Ohh.
115
00:05:22,699 --> 00:05:25,796
Now our trip begins.
Now the fun starts.
116
00:05:25,899 --> 00:05:26,972
Where's Brick?!
117
00:05:27,093 --> 00:05:28,932
I'm right here.
118
00:05:29,884 --> 00:05:31,596
Well, this is my stop.
Later, cattle.
119
00:05:33,404 --> 00:05:35,780
Ohh. I'll have a chardonnay,
please. Thanks so much.
120
00:05:35,948 --> 00:05:37,212
You will not have a chardonnay,
121
00:05:37,331 --> 00:05:39,548
and when you're old enough to drink,
you will have a beer.
122
00:05:40,156 --> 00:05:44,428
Oh, no. We aren't sitting together?
Oh, no.
123
00:05:44,532 --> 00:05:47,835
That's not right. No, we should
all be together. I... mm.
124
00:05:47,956 --> 00:05:49,619
Can everyone
please take their seats
125
00:05:49,740 --> 00:05:51,316
so we can prepare
for takeoff?
126
00:05:52,380 --> 00:05:55,212
Um, excuse me. We are
on a once-in-a-lifetime trip,
127
00:05:55,332 --> 00:05:56,685
and our seats aren't together,
128
00:05:56,756 --> 00:05:59,044
and who knows how many
family vacations we have left,
129
00:05:59,133 --> 00:06:02,667
so, uh, ma'am, would you mind
taking a seat next
130
00:06:03,070 --> 00:06:04,787
to this gentleman over here,
so we can sit with our children?
131
00:06:05,071 --> 00:06:08,947
But I have an aisle, and that's a middle.
Okay, not a problem.
132
00:06:09,053 --> 00:06:11,500
Is there anyone who's willing
to switch to take a middle seat?
133
00:06:11,603 --> 00:06:13,380
Huh? Not a big deal, really.
134
00:06:13,477 --> 00:06:15,251
We're all gonna get there
at the same time, right?
135
00:06:15,332 --> 00:06:16,947
Sir, could you switch places
with her? You're a little guy.
136
00:06:17,035 --> 00:06:20,588
You don't need all that legroom.
Uh, let's see, and then, yeah,
137
00:06:20,692 --> 00:06:22,836
if you two could just scootch over
one toward the window...
138
00:06:22,932 --> 00:06:27,772
Sir, then if you could take the aisle seat? Thanks.
Excuse me. I had an aisle before. I would like the aisle.
139
00:06:27,868 --> 00:06:29,756
Everybody's happy. We don't
need to keep switching seats.
140
00:06:29,852 --> 00:06:31,452
Okay. Great.
141
00:06:31,548 --> 00:06:35,852
We made it.
H! We made it Mike.
142
00:06:35,940 --> 00:06:37,915
New York, here we come! Whoo!
143
00:06:38,028 --> 00:06:42,404
Mom, can you hand me the snack bag?
Snack bag?
144
00:06:46,492 --> 00:06:48,787
You forgot the snack bag?!
145
00:06:48,867 --> 00:06:51,892
Let's not point fingers.
Well, can I at least have my books?
146
00:06:52,261 --> 00:06:54,141
Uh, you were in charge of
bringing 'em. Where are they?
147
00:06:59,731 --> 00:07:02,571
My books! I can't make it
through a whole plane ride
148
00:07:02,660 --> 00:07:05,637
without books! We gotta turn
the plane around.
149
00:07:05,780 --> 00:07:07,619
Shush. I'm trying
to hear the... thing.
150
00:07:07,731 --> 00:07:09,717
Place the mask
over your nose and mouth...
151
00:07:09,835 --> 00:07:12,163
What'd she say about oxygen?
Why doesn't it inflate?
152
00:07:12,421 --> 00:07:15,948
Mike, nobody listens to the safety information.
Well, if something happens,
153
00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:17,716
I would like to know
what I'm supposed to do.
154
00:07:17,852 --> 00:07:19,579
Jeez, you're acting like
you've never flown b...
155
00:07:21,531 --> 00:07:23,933
have you never flown before?
156
00:07:24,133 --> 00:07:25,548
Would you be cool, please?
157
00:07:25,924 --> 00:07:28,756
You've never, ever been
on a plane? Wow.
158
00:07:28,859 --> 00:07:30,523
I can't believe
I never knew that.
159
00:07:30,619 --> 00:07:35,107
Your dad's never flown before.
Frankie, I'm begging you, shush. Be cool?
160
00:07:35,244 --> 00:07:37,323
I'm cool. I'm totally cool.
Okay. Thank you.
161
00:07:37,412 --> 00:07:40,028
I hear we have a couple
of first-time flyers today.
162
00:07:40,147 --> 00:07:43,708
Teddy Fishman's flying
with his grammy in 3a...
163
00:07:43,819 --> 00:07:46,956
And Michael heck in seat 7c.
164
00:07:47,308 --> 00:07:50,164
Stop by the cockpit, and we'll
give you boys your wings.
165
00:07:58,744 --> 00:07:59,672
Oh, don't turn yet.
166
00:08:03,792 --> 00:08:04,824
Okay, now.
167
00:08:05,984 --> 00:08:07,807
Everything's pointing
to the priest.
168
00:08:08,215 --> 00:08:09,143
What do you think?
169
00:08:09,591 --> 00:08:10,095
Brick!
170
00:08:11,767 --> 00:08:13,711
I don't have a book!
171
00:08:13,912 --> 00:08:15,959
Can I read yours?
172
00:08:16,289 --> 00:08:18,551
What? No!
Brick, this is my diary...
173
00:08:18,744 --> 00:08:21,503
my most personal and innermost
thoughts and feelings.
174
00:08:21,671 --> 00:08:24,015
Mom, I'm writing about
how excited I am
175
00:08:24,167 --> 00:08:25,433
to see the statue of liberty.
176
00:08:26,208 --> 00:08:27,656
I just love America so much.
177
00:08:28,087 --> 00:08:30,536
Mnh.
We should've taken the car.
178
00:08:30,824 --> 00:08:33,072
You can leave when you want. You
can bring liquids when you want.
179
00:08:33,167 --> 00:08:35,559
If the kid's misbehaving
in the seat behind you,
180
00:08:35,678 --> 00:08:36,759
you can reach back
and whack him.
181
00:08:38,541 --> 00:08:40,318
You know, Mike,
it's okay to be scared.
182
00:08:41,222 --> 00:08:44,205
I'm not scared. I'm just worried
that I left the back door open
183
00:08:44,326 --> 00:08:45,854
when I took the trash out.
That's all.
184
00:08:46,238 --> 00:08:47,509
Oh, don't change the subject.
185
00:08:47,607 --> 00:08:49,413
You didn't leave
the back door open.
186
00:08:55,094 --> 00:08:57,710
You know, Mike, being afraid
doesn't make you less of a man.
187
00:08:57,846 --> 00:08:59,965
And being silent wouldn't
make you less of a woman.
188
00:09:05,447 --> 00:09:07,910
Axl. Get up. It's my turn.
189
00:09:08,390 --> 00:09:09,550
It's been more than 20 minutes.
190
00:09:09,687 --> 00:09:12,822
On land maybe. You don't know
how long it's been up here.
191
00:09:12,934 --> 00:09:15,759
A minute earth time is like
an hour in the sky.
192
00:09:15,877 --> 00:09:17,414
Maybe you'll learn that
if you ever get to High School.
193
00:09:17,511 --> 00:09:23,047
Oh, I mean dog school. Mom!
Axl won't switch with me, and it's my turn!
194
00:09:23,183 --> 00:09:25,198
I don't know this person. Never
seen her before in my life.
195
00:09:25,311 --> 00:09:28,509
No! Get up! Get up! Get up, get up, get up right now!
Axl, get up! It's your sister's turn!
196
00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:30,341
No! No! Get away!
Get up! Aah!
197
00:09:30,493 --> 00:09:33,093
No! Hey! Let go! Move!
Get up, get up, get up!
198
00:09:36,166 --> 00:09:37,454
Axl!
Aah!
199
00:09:37,894 --> 00:09:39,869
Knock it off!
You are embarrassing me! Move!
200
00:09:39,966 --> 00:09:42,085
Mom! She's got the... stop! You know what?
Neither of you deserve first class.
201
00:09:42,230 --> 00:09:45,048
Brick, come on up.
Your brother is coming up. What?
202
00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:47,350
You two are back in coach!
203
00:09:48,855 --> 00:09:49,526
Fine.
204
00:09:59,230 --> 00:10:00,949
Oh, Axl!
This is all your fault!
205
00:10:01,214 --> 00:10:04,566
It was supposed to be my turn, and
now I'm punished, too!
206
00:10:04,647 --> 00:10:06,438
Why are you so mean to me
all the time?
207
00:10:06,589 --> 00:10:09,182
I'm not mean to you.
Now move your knobby elbow.
208
00:10:09,285 --> 00:10:10,758
Oh, my God!
You just did it again!
209
00:10:10,903 --> 00:10:13,854
Do you have to insult me
every second?
210
00:10:13,975 --> 00:10:15,966
I'm not insulting you.
I'm just stating facts.
211
00:10:16,077 --> 00:10:18,365
Your elbow is knobby... fact.
Your hair is stringy... fact.
212
00:10:18,470 --> 00:10:21,487
You can't do it, can you?
I'll bet you can't even go
213
00:10:21,589 --> 00:10:24,151
24 hours without saying
something mean to me.
214
00:10:24,270 --> 00:10:27,006
Yes, I can, and if you don't
think I can, you're an idiot.
215
00:10:27,222 --> 00:10:28,646
Starting now.
216
00:10:31,351 --> 00:10:32,326
Another cookie, sir?
217
00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:36,487
Oh, I shouldn't...
218
00:10:36,621 --> 00:10:38,533
But I will.
219
00:10:42,750 --> 00:10:45,173
Okay, Brick. Mom says
it's my turn to be rich now.
220
00:10:45,318 --> 00:10:47,406
But I finally have
something to read.
221
00:10:47,518 --> 00:10:49,550
I need to read,
or I'm not gonna make it.
222
00:10:49,661 --> 00:10:51,015
I'm not gonna make it
if I have to spend
223
00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:53,494
another minute next to Axl
come on.
224
00:11:00,550 --> 00:11:01,766
Hi.
225
00:11:01,975 --> 00:11:02,869
Whatcha typing?
226
00:11:07,487 --> 00:11:10,365
Axl, is that Sue's diary?
227
00:11:10,478 --> 00:11:13,110
Give me that right now.
These are
228
00:11:13,198 --> 00:11:15,413
Sue's personal and innermost
thoughts and feelings.
229
00:11:15,510 --> 00:11:16,678
It says it right on the cover!
230
00:11:17,541 --> 00:11:18,847
God.
There's nothing to do here!
231
00:11:25,925 --> 00:11:26,908
Hey. What are you doing?
232
00:11:27,629 --> 00:11:28,397
What do you mean?
233
00:11:28,651 --> 00:11:30,645
Didn't you just tell Axl
not to do that?
234
00:11:30,947 --> 00:11:35,013
I'm her mother, Mike,
and she's a 14-year-old girl.
235
00:11:35,093 --> 00:11:37,141
It all starts now...
boys, breasts, bulimia,
236
00:11:37,236 --> 00:11:38,156
all the "b" words.
237
00:11:38,261 --> 00:11:39,677
It's our job to stay
on top of it.
238
00:11:39,828 --> 00:11:43,764
Ohh. Oh, man.
239
00:11:45,332 --> 00:11:46,356
Oh, no.
240
00:11:47,020 --> 00:11:47,589
What?
241
00:11:47,677 --> 00:11:49,813
"January 7th.
Went to school. Came home.
242
00:11:49,917 --> 00:11:53,155
"Going to bed now. January 8th.
Where are my blue socks?
243
00:11:53,244 --> 00:11:56,067
Can't find them anywhere.
Oh, well. Going to bed now."
244
00:11:56,196 --> 00:11:59,172
This is the most
boring thing I've ever read.
245
00:11:59,397 --> 00:12:00,828
So that's good, right?
246
00:12:01,061 --> 00:12:02,733
"February 11th.
I hate lettuce.
247
00:12:02,827 --> 00:12:06,421
February 18th. Mom served
lettuce again. Still hate it."
248
00:12:06,557 --> 00:12:09,645
Well, the good news is,
she's not doing drugs.
249
00:12:09,773 --> 00:12:11,412
The bad news is,
she's not doing anything!
250
00:12:14,676 --> 00:12:17,045
Sorry about that, folks.
251
00:12:17,163 --> 00:12:18,700
A winter storm is moving
down from Canada
252
00:12:18,805 --> 00:12:20,085
and causing quite a bit
of turbulence.
253
00:12:20,189 --> 00:12:21,868
We're gonna take this baby
higher,
254
00:12:21,965 --> 00:12:23,381
see if we can't avoid that.
255
00:12:23,732 --> 00:12:25,837
That's good. We're shaking
apart, so let's go higher.
256
00:12:25,964 --> 00:12:30,828
So then in my 16th meet...
oh, well...
257
00:12:30,980 --> 00:12:32,868
You're not gonna understand
what happened in the 16th meet,
258
00:12:32,973 --> 00:12:35,221
unless I go back and explain
what happened in the 12th meet.
259
00:12:35,340 --> 00:12:37,182
See, I was making great time,
260
00:12:37,276 --> 00:12:41,204
but then I started choking on
my own hair. It was...
261
00:12:41,316 --> 00:12:45,013
I think I see it.
Mike, it's New York!
262
00:12:45,292 --> 00:12:48,283
Kids, look, we're here,
and it's snowing.
263
00:12:48,381 --> 00:12:51,956
New York in the snow.
How lucky are we?
264
00:12:52,053 --> 00:12:54,005
This is gonna be the best trip ever!
265
00:12:54,244 --> 00:12:56,220
Sorry, folks. Looks like
the entire eastern seaboard
266
00:12:56,316 --> 00:12:59,013
is socked in by the snowstorm.
We're gonna be circling
267
00:12:59,116 --> 00:13:01,484
till they dig out the runway
and give us clearance to land.
268
00:13:01,749 --> 00:13:03,669
Shouldn't be more
than a couple hours.
269
00:13:05,813 --> 00:13:08,565
Okay, Mike,
try not to think about it.
270
00:13:08,678 --> 00:13:10,611
Just put your seat back
and relax.
271
00:13:13,541 --> 00:13:15,389
Oh, yeah. That's better.
272
00:13:21,766 --> 00:13:22,597
I gotta get up.
273
00:13:22,749 --> 00:13:25,429
Ohh. Mike.
274
00:13:25,532 --> 00:13:26,221
You can't.
275
00:13:26,269 --> 00:13:27,820
The "fasten seat belt" sign
is still on.
276
00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:29,364
Frankie, you don't know
what it's like to be jammed
277
00:13:29,469 --> 00:13:33,749
in that seat. Every seat is giant to you.
Look, just close your eyes and go to sleep.
278
00:13:33,884 --> 00:13:37,155
I can't sleep. What if something happens?
So what if it does?
279
00:13:37,253 --> 00:13:39,101
You're not flying the plane.
There's nothing you can do.
280
00:13:39,220 --> 00:13:41,636
Oh, no. I have to be ready.
What if there's an emergency?
281
00:13:41,733 --> 00:13:43,797
People look to tall people
in emergencies.
282
00:13:43,899 --> 00:13:45,075
We're the lighthouses
of society.
283
00:13:45,213 --> 00:13:48,526
No. You know what
this is about? Control.
284
00:13:48,644 --> 00:13:53,323
You have to be in control. Oh, God.
When's "Oprah" finally going off the air again?
285
00:13:53,452 --> 00:13:55,108
She did one episode
about control.
286
00:13:55,204 --> 00:13:57,165
Actually it was about food,
but it still applies to this.
287
00:13:57,244 --> 00:13:58,733
She said you need
to love yourself more
288
00:13:58,836 --> 00:14:00,597
and don't have snacks
in the house.
289
00:14:00,724 --> 00:14:04,557
I love myself plenty,
and I don't have control issues.
290
00:14:04,651 --> 00:14:06,020
Really?
291
00:14:06,149 --> 00:14:08,492
Dilated eyes are not a problem.
292
00:14:08,589 --> 00:14:10,308
I'm perfectly fine to drive.
293
00:14:12,228 --> 00:14:13,964
I... just tell me what
you want to watch,
294
00:14:14,085 --> 00:14:15,027
and I'll change it for you.
295
00:14:17,797 --> 00:14:19,899
This is nuts. I don't have
to be in control.
296
00:14:20,021 --> 00:14:22,132
If there's a control freak
in this family, it's you.
297
00:14:22,276 --> 00:14:24,453
What? Me?
298
00:14:24,645 --> 00:14:25,997
You're gonna have to reach
pretty far back
299
00:14:26,085 --> 00:14:26,997
to make that case.
300
00:14:27,221 --> 00:14:29,829
We're all wearing orange,
so nobody gets lost.
301
00:14:29,996 --> 00:14:32,628
If you two could just scootch over
one toward the window...
302
00:14:32,740 --> 00:14:33,908
Sir, then if you could take
the aisle seat?
303
00:14:34,181 --> 00:14:36,315
You think that's being
a control freak?
304
00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:38,691
Do you? Do you, Mike?
'Cause it's not.
305
00:14:38,796 --> 00:14:41,556
You know what that's called?
Being a mom.
306
00:14:41,709 --> 00:14:43,684
I packed everyone's suitcases,
307
00:14:43,772 --> 00:14:45,699
made the snacks,
checked the tickets,
308
00:14:45,805 --> 00:14:47,301
made sure nobody gets lost,
and what do you do?
309
00:14:47,413 --> 00:14:49,780
You take a shower, and you
waltz out the door.
310
00:14:49,899 --> 00:14:51,084
But I have to dot,
because if I didn't,
311
00:14:51,181 --> 00:14:52,685
this family would never
get anywhere!
312
00:14:52,797 --> 00:14:54,516
I'm not in control
because I like to be.
313
00:14:54,605 --> 00:14:59,429
I'm in control because I have to be.
Where are those snacks again?
314
00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:02,574
Okay, you know what? I'm done.
No. That's it.
315
00:15:02,677 --> 00:15:04,651
You wanna be in control? You're
in charge of the whole family.
316
00:15:04,749 --> 00:15:05,956
I'm just a passenger. Mm-hmm.
317
00:15:06,068 --> 00:15:09,644
A passenger who is going
to enjoy having someone
318
00:15:09,717 --> 00:15:11,532
cater to her needs
in first class.
319
00:15:17,413 --> 00:15:19,301
And in meet 30,
I really hit my stride.
320
00:15:19,387 --> 00:15:21,220
Sue, get up.
Your shift's over.
321
00:15:21,445 --> 00:15:23,220
But... but it seems like
I just got here.
322
00:15:23,319 --> 00:15:24,365
You heard your mom.
Get up.
323
00:15:24,693 --> 00:15:26,117
If you have a problem,
take it up with your dad.
324
00:15:26,205 --> 00:15:28,557
He's in charge now.
325
00:15:31,701 --> 00:15:33,093
I'm sorry.
326
00:15:33,373 --> 00:15:35,445
I hope my family hasn't
been too disturbing.
327
00:15:36,941 --> 00:15:40,030
Could you just take one picture
of me with the menu?
328
00:15:44,661 --> 00:15:47,869
Thanks.
I won't bother you again.
329
00:15:54,076 --> 00:15:56,837
Frankie. Frankie.
330
00:15:57,701 --> 00:15:58,126
Huh?
331
00:15:58,277 --> 00:15:59,188
I lost Brick.
332
00:16:03,817 --> 00:16:06,569
It sounded like you said you lost Brick.
Yeah, I did.
333
00:16:06,777 --> 00:16:09,769
You lost Brick? He's not in his
seat, and he's not in the bathroom.
334
00:16:09,890 --> 00:16:11,505
I don't know where he is.
Did you look everywhere?
335
00:16:11,633 --> 00:16:13,793
Yes, I looked everywhere.
Did you move stuff around?
336
00:16:13,937 --> 00:16:18,210
Are you gonna help me or not?
All right, but he better not be on this plane,
337
00:16:18,313 --> 00:16:19,866
'cause if I go back there
and find him,
338
00:16:19,969 --> 00:16:20,977
You are in big trouble!
339
00:16:21,193 --> 00:16:23,730
Brick!
340
00:16:24,601 --> 00:16:27,097
Brick! See what happens
when I give up control?
341
00:16:27,210 --> 00:16:30,665
You lose our son. Well, he's not lost.
He's got a luggage tag on his wrist.
342
00:16:30,778 --> 00:16:34,257
They'll return him to the house eventually.
Hey, everybody. Hi.
343
00:16:34,362 --> 00:16:37,106
Sorry to bother you, but we are
looking for a 9-year-old boy,
344
00:16:37,241 --> 00:16:39,770
so if everybody could get up
and just look around you.
345
00:16:43,891 --> 00:16:44,938
Found him.
346
00:16:45,857 --> 00:16:48,512
Ohh! Okay.
Thanks, everybody. Never mind.
347
00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:49,834
Found him. We're good.
348
00:16:54,417 --> 00:16:55,985
I got this
from a sleeping woman.
349
00:16:56,106 --> 00:16:58,442
It's about menopause,
but I don't even care.
350
00:16:59,659 --> 00:17:01,186
Menopause.
351
00:17:01,442 --> 00:17:02,593
Folks,
I appreciate your patience.
352
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:03,778
If you'll take your seats,
353
00:17:03,881 --> 00:17:05,450
i have an announcement
about our landing.
354
00:17:06,266 --> 00:17:08,682
Oh, finally!
New York, here we come!
355
00:17:08,785 --> 00:17:10,513
Okay. I know we've been off
to a rocky start.
356
00:17:10,610 --> 00:17:12,761
We've all been a little cranky,
but whoo-hoo!
357
00:17:12,849 --> 00:17:15,552
Our vacation is about to begin.
358
00:17:15,658 --> 00:17:17,234
Due to this nasty weather,
we're being diverted
359
00:17:17,345 --> 00:17:20,609
to the closest airport that's
not snowed in... Pittsburgh...
360
00:17:22,393 --> 00:17:23,761
Which, coincidentally,
is our featured city
361
00:17:23,849 --> 00:17:25,136
in this month's "horizons."
362
00:17:33,745 --> 00:17:35,385
Great. It took us
four times as long
363
00:17:35,474 --> 00:17:36,978
to get halfway
where we needed to be.
364
00:17:37,089 --> 00:17:39,242
Attention passengers
of flight 216.
365
00:17:39,393 --> 00:17:41,593
Unfortunately, no further
flights will be leaving
366
00:17:41,721 --> 00:17:42,857
for Laguardia today.
367
00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:45,640
We do, however, have chartered
buses standing by outside
368
00:17:45,746 --> 00:17:48,290
to drive you
to the greater New York area.
369
00:17:49,961 --> 00:17:54,073
Did you hear that? How lucky
are we? Come on. Let's go!
370
00:17:58,177 --> 00:17:59,594
Sue, not now!
371
00:17:59,705 --> 00:18:00,714
Darn!
372
00:18:04,857 --> 00:18:07,057
Frankie, wait a minute.
What are we doing?
373
00:18:07,154 --> 00:18:08,874
What do you mean?
We're going to New York.
374
00:18:08,993 --> 00:18:10,682
Let's hurry, so we can
get seats together.
375
00:18:10,786 --> 00:18:14,898
Yeah, hold on. Hold on. We're
closer to Indiana at this point.
376
00:18:15,002 --> 00:18:16,137
Maybe we should just go home.
377
00:18:16,257 --> 00:18:18,178
What? Why?
378
00:18:18,282 --> 00:18:21,162
Because this trip so far
has been a disaster,
379
00:18:21,265 --> 00:18:23,825
and I don't feel like driving
for nine hours on a bus
380
00:18:23,897 --> 00:18:24,897
into a snowstorm.
381
00:18:25,426 --> 00:18:29,449
Well, you have to. We're lucky.
We were sitting on a couch,
382
00:18:29,554 --> 00:18:31,953
wishing for something exciting
to happen, and it did!
383
00:18:32,065 --> 00:18:35,738
We won this trip! And now you
just want to throw in the towel?
384
00:18:35,857 --> 00:18:39,074
You wanna just go back home,
go back to that couch?
385
00:18:39,169 --> 00:18:41,074
There's a whole big world
out there, Mike,
386
00:18:41,170 --> 00:18:42,921
and you are missing it!
387
00:18:43,018 --> 00:18:45,986
I circled over it for eight hours.
I've seen enough. Well, I haven't.
388
00:18:46,057 --> 00:18:48,953
I am trying to build
memories for our family,
389
00:18:49,041 --> 00:18:50,489
memories for our daughter,
390
00:18:50,602 --> 00:18:53,385
so she has something to
write about besides lettuce!
391
00:18:53,617 --> 00:18:55,969
You read my diary?!
Oh, we all have.
392
00:18:56,042 --> 00:18:57,458
It's no menopause.
393
00:18:57,705 --> 00:19:01,010
I'm with dad. This trip blows.
We should just go home.
394
00:19:01,089 --> 00:19:02,714
I'm drained
from being nice to Sue.
395
00:19:02,825 --> 00:19:06,969
Yes. Let's go home.
All my books are there.
396
00:19:07,050 --> 00:19:08,985
So that's it?
397
00:19:09,522 --> 00:19:12,066
I win a contest,
398
00:19:12,218 --> 00:19:15,418
probably the biggest thing
to happen to me in my life...
399
00:19:15,554 --> 00:19:17,928
And now we're just gonna...
400
00:19:18,218 --> 00:19:19,265
gonna go home?
401
00:19:21,473 --> 00:19:22,322
Wow.
402
00:19:22,842 --> 00:19:24,562
Even when I win, I lose.
403
00:19:31,106 --> 00:19:32,265
You know what?
404
00:19:33,066 --> 00:19:35,409
I kinda want to go to New York.
405
00:19:37,993 --> 00:19:38,988
Really?
406
00:19:39,794 --> 00:19:41,290
Oh, Axl.
407
00:19:41,769 --> 00:19:43,345
You were actually nice to me!
408
00:19:43,506 --> 00:19:44,825
Touch me, and the deal is off.
409
00:19:45,401 --> 00:19:46,482
Ohh. Brick?
410
00:19:47,225 --> 00:19:49,481
"Horizons" says they have
a library there.
411
00:19:52,017 --> 00:19:53,137
Mike?
412
00:19:54,586 --> 00:19:55,537
Well...
413
00:19:55,690 --> 00:19:56,969
Driving into a storm...
414
00:19:57,721 --> 00:19:58,945
Sounds like something
we would do.
415
00:19:59,721 --> 00:20:00,577
Let's go to New York!
416
00:20:02,675 --> 00:20:04,066
Okay. We can dance on the bus.
Come on. Let's go! Okay!
417
00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:10,546
I guess luck will
only get you to Pittsburgh.
418
00:20:10,865 --> 00:20:13,345
It takes perseverance
and a little insanity
419
00:20:13,458 --> 00:20:15,065
to get you all the way
to New York,
420
00:20:15,178 --> 00:20:18,025
but once we got there,
even Mike was glad we went.
421
00:20:18,362 --> 00:20:22,234
We saw everything... the empire state building...
422
00:20:22,337 --> 00:20:23,506
The public library...
423
00:20:23,641 --> 00:20:25,145
The statue of liberty.
424
00:20:25,345 --> 00:20:28,954
It was great.
I mean, "give me your tired,
425
00:20:29,066 --> 00:20:30,906
your poor,
your huddled masses"?
426
00:20:31,025 --> 00:20:32,545
We're all those things.
427
00:20:32,770 --> 00:20:35,001
But when it all comes
down to it,
428
00:20:35,154 --> 00:20:38,113
we are a very lucky family...
429
00:20:38,394 --> 00:20:41,393
lucky we have no money
to travel.
430
00:20:41,443 --> 00:20:45,993
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