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1
00:00:06,105 --> 00:00:07,736
There's something
scary going on
2
00:00:08,001 --> 00:00:09,800
in houses all over America.
3
00:00:10,241 --> 00:00:12,545
Nobody's talking about it,
but it's happening.
4
00:00:23,725 --> 00:00:25,094
I can't sleep.
5
00:00:25,470 --> 00:00:26,902
I'll go.
6
00:00:31,679 --> 00:00:34,150
That's right. I'm talking about
the 3:00 A.M. shuffle.
7
00:00:34,638 --> 00:00:37,685
If you're a parent and you've never
done it, you're lying.
8
00:00:55,510 --> 00:00:56,974
Yep, there's something scary
going on
9
00:00:57,077 --> 00:00:58,974
in houses all over America,
10
00:00:59,190 --> 00:01:01,334
and we're putting up with it.
11
00:01:01,918 --> 00:01:04,765
You all right? Ugh.
Brick got into our bed last night,
12
00:01:04,862 --> 00:01:07,534
and I had to sleep on the couch again.
Well, the weekend's coming up.
13
00:01:07,646 --> 00:01:08,940
You can catch up
on your Z's then.
14
00:01:09,110 --> 00:01:11,918
No. Brick's got a book fair
he needs to get to,
15
00:01:12,021 --> 00:01:14,758
and sue needs jeggings...
whatever those are...
16
00:01:14,893 --> 00:01:17,174
and Axl has a science project
due Monday
17
00:01:17,294 --> 00:01:19,766
and needs a poster board
and an idea.
18
00:01:19,998 --> 00:01:22,613
What are you and Mike doing?
Uh, that.
19
00:01:22,862 --> 00:01:24,543
Can't you just tell them "no"?
20
00:01:24,677 --> 00:01:28,564
Bob, Bob, Bob.
You so don't have kids.
21
00:01:28,686 --> 00:01:30,997
That I know of.
22
00:01:31,783 --> 00:01:32,524
What you doin'?
23
00:01:32,749 --> 00:01:34,158
Well, cross-country is over,
24
00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:36,606
and like a caterpillar,
I've shed my sweatshirt
25
00:01:36,702 --> 00:01:39,542
to emerge reborn for the next
challenge that lies ahead.
26
00:01:40,893 --> 00:01:42,974
I'm trying to decide
what to try out for next.
27
00:01:44,654 --> 00:01:46,846
So what do you think...
cheerleading?
28
00:01:46,982 --> 00:01:48,918
What else?
Basketball?
29
00:01:49,038 --> 00:01:51,517
Next.
Synchronized swimming?
30
00:01:51,638 --> 00:01:54,742
Keep goin'. The everybody-makes-it
lunchroom follies?
31
00:01:54,854 --> 00:01:56,709
Hello. Now that one there
seems interesting.
32
00:01:56,822 --> 00:01:58,918
It's just this talent show thing
at lunchtime.
33
00:01:59,022 --> 00:02:01,262
I don't even think there are
tryouts or anything.
34
00:02:01,357 --> 00:02:04,021
You just sign up.
I'm really liking the sound of that.
35
00:02:04,117 --> 00:02:08,437
I made dinner!
Come get your bags!
36
00:02:08,582 --> 00:02:11,782
In here.
Okay, here you go.
37
00:02:11,901 --> 00:02:13,376
We've got tacos,
38
00:02:13,462 --> 00:02:15,917
burgers and fries, sub shop.
39
00:02:16,030 --> 00:02:18,479
I thought we were getting
a bucket of chicken.
40
00:02:18,590 --> 00:02:21,718
I wanted chicken. I know.
I wanted chicken, too, but then the kids called
41
00:02:21,822 --> 00:02:23,261
and they all wanted
something different,
42
00:02:23,383 --> 00:02:24,646
so I went to three
different drive-thrus,
43
00:02:24,781 --> 00:02:26,710
and I wasn't about to go
to a fourth place just for us,
44
00:02:26,815 --> 00:02:29,718
so we got this.
What's this?
45
00:02:29,830 --> 00:02:34,838
Chinese chicken salad from the taco place.
This isn't chicken. Chicken comes in a bucket.
46
00:02:34,958 --> 00:02:37,558
Way to go, mom!
They forgot my shake!
47
00:02:37,679 --> 00:02:40,614
No. Are you serious?
They didn't put it in?
48
00:02:40,750 --> 00:02:42,925
The whole reason I wanted you
to go there was for the shake!
49
00:02:43,015 --> 00:02:46,117
I dip my fries in the shake!
Fine. I'll go back.
50
00:02:46,223 --> 00:02:48,317
Wait. No, hold on, Frankie.
This is crazy.
51
00:02:48,405 --> 00:02:50,356
You just got home. You went
to three different places.
52
00:02:50,444 --> 00:02:55,662
You're not going back out. I'll do it.
Can I have pop from the taco place?
53
00:02:55,774 --> 00:02:56,900
I'll take more fries!
54
00:02:56,998 --> 00:02:59,174
Wait. What are we
doing here, Mike?
55
00:02:59,317 --> 00:03:02,294
What? Uh, shake, more fries,
56
00:03:02,382 --> 00:03:05,101
a pop from the taco place,
not the burger place. I got it.
57
00:03:05,197 --> 00:03:08,693
When did this happen? When did
the kids become our bosses?
58
00:03:08,799 --> 00:03:10,374
Napkins!
59
00:03:10,630 --> 00:03:12,927
Bob was right.
What about us?
60
00:03:13,028 --> 00:03:15,670
We never do anything
for ourselves anymore.
61
00:03:15,759 --> 00:03:17,196
We're always catering to them.
62
00:03:17,302 --> 00:03:19,821
As soon as I said it,
I realized it was true.
63
00:03:19,918 --> 00:03:21,262
Somewhere along the way,
64
00:03:21,310 --> 00:03:24,014
we had become second-class
citizens in our own house.
65
00:03:25,678 --> 00:03:27,733
Sue, how many times
do I have to tell you
66
00:03:27,821 --> 00:03:29,590
to take your backpack
to your room?
67
00:03:29,693 --> 00:03:30,966
I'm not doing it for you!
68
00:03:33,133 --> 00:03:34,941
Is "wizards
of waverly place" over yet?
69
00:03:35,062 --> 00:03:36,670
No!
70
00:03:39,157 --> 00:03:41,798
Oh, thank God. A rest stop.
Pull over. I really gotta go.
71
00:03:41,894 --> 00:03:44,719
We are not stopping!
We're only 52 Miles from home, mom!
72
00:03:44,846 --> 00:03:48,157
Fine.
If traffic's good, I think I can hold it.
73
00:03:52,982 --> 00:03:55,046
We're pathetic, Mike.
Pathetic.
74
00:03:55,149 --> 00:03:57,197
Our parents would have
never put up with this.
75
00:03:57,294 --> 00:04:00,814
Hmm. I hated green peppers, but
my mom always made me eat them,
76
00:04:00,909 --> 00:04:02,334
'cause that's what we had.
77
00:04:02,431 --> 00:04:04,998
On Thursdays, I had to choke
down those green peppers.
78
00:04:05,109 --> 00:04:07,438
My dad watched "the hoosier
farm report" every night.
79
00:04:07,550 --> 00:04:09,941
And guess what I watched?
"The hoosier farm report."
80
00:04:10,038 --> 00:04:12,741
And here's our kids
stretched out on our couch,
81
00:04:12,838 --> 00:04:15,294
watching our big tv,
eating like kings,
82
00:04:15,414 --> 00:04:17,382
and we're standing here
hunched over the counter,
83
00:04:17,493 --> 00:04:19,462
eating crappy shreds of chicken
from the taco place.
84
00:04:19,581 --> 00:04:22,525
How did we let this happen?
When did this start?
85
00:04:22,678 --> 00:04:25,254
I don't know. But I'll
tell you when it stops.
86
00:04:25,374 --> 00:04:27,613
No, no. That clock is broken.
Axl was playing ball
87
00:04:27,710 --> 00:04:29,478
in the house
after I told him not to.
88
00:04:34,430 --> 00:04:36,182
What are you doing?
I'll tell you what we're doing.
89
00:04:36,270 --> 00:04:38,861
We're taking back the house.
90
00:04:40,904 --> 00:04:43,839
Come on. Get up.
Hey, we were here first.
91
00:04:43,968 --> 00:04:45,936
You were? Because I don't
remember seeing you
92
00:04:46,015 --> 00:04:49,536
in 1991 when I bought this house.
"Taking back the house"... what does that even mean?
93
00:04:49,617 --> 00:04:51,776
It means that we've been letting
you get away with way too much,
94
00:04:51,952 --> 00:04:55,064
but that is over.
It's our house, our tv,
95
00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:56,456
and we're gonna watch
what we wanna watch.
96
00:04:56,552 --> 00:04:59,033
What, you mean like after our show is over?
No, I mean like right now.
97
00:04:59,135 --> 00:05:01,368
So we're doing picture-in-picture?
We call the big picture.
98
00:05:01,489 --> 00:05:06,511
No, you do not get a picture.
You are out of the picture. Well, we... but...
99
00:05:06,616 --> 00:05:08,505
Ahh! But... but what are...
what are we supposed to do?
100
00:05:08,599 --> 00:05:10,416
We'll be... bored.
101
00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:12,617
We don't care.
That's the beauty of it. Mm-hmm.
102
00:05:12,719 --> 00:05:14,631
This is unfair. You're parents.
103
00:05:14,727 --> 00:05:16,143
It's your job
to put your kids first.
104
00:05:16,312 --> 00:05:20,104
Who says? (Scoffs) I'll tell you who says.
"The giving tree."
105
00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:21,705
You're the ones
who read us the book.
106
00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:22,928
The tree gave up all its leaves
107
00:05:23,008 --> 00:05:25,136
and... and its apples
and its branches,
108
00:05:25,528 --> 00:05:28,625
and it let the little boy cut
it down so it could be a canoe,
109
00:05:28,728 --> 00:05:32,112
and it didn't complain and go
nuts and kick anyone off the tv.
110
00:05:32,223 --> 00:05:34,432
No! It wanted to be a stump!
It was happy!
111
00:05:34,528 --> 00:05:37,016
I don't think he was happy.
112
00:05:37,111 --> 00:05:40,249
I don't think he had the guts to
do what we're doing... say "no."
113
00:05:40,343 --> 00:05:41,872
Well, your dad and I
aren't stumps.
114
00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:43,103
Not anymore.
115
00:05:47,001 --> 00:05:49,337
That night, we slept better
than we had in weeks.
116
00:05:49,456 --> 00:05:52,303
And the
next day, I took it further
117
00:05:52,423 --> 00:05:55,183
and started a little extreme
home makeover of my own.
118
00:05:55,289 --> 00:05:56,432
Oh, hey, honey.
How was school?
119
00:05:56,528 --> 00:05:59,616
What's going on?
What is this?
120
00:05:59,696 --> 00:06:03,151
Oh, I'm taking back my house.
I thought that was just yesterday!
121
00:06:03,288 --> 00:06:04,560
No, no.
122
00:06:04,664 --> 00:06:06,679
I have tripped over
my last tennis ball.
123
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,872
I have sat on my last joystick.
124
00:06:08,968 --> 00:06:12,417
You guys are gonna start keeping
all your crap in your rooms.
125
00:06:12,511 --> 00:06:13,856
So dig in this pile
for what's yours,
126
00:06:13,944 --> 00:06:17,280
'cause anything that's left
is going in the trash.
127
00:06:17,408 --> 00:06:21,320
Oh, my God. What did you do
to the family room?
128
00:06:21,431 --> 00:06:23,863
What did you do
to the family room?!
129
00:06:23,993 --> 00:06:27,090
You like it? I've always
wanted it this way.
130
00:06:27,193 --> 00:06:29,384
No, I don't like it.
131
00:06:29,504 --> 00:06:32,215
It's like you're trying
to pretend you never had us!
132
00:06:32,312 --> 00:06:36,864
Dad, look what she did
to the family room.
133
00:06:36,993 --> 00:06:38,881
Oh, hey. Looks great.
134
00:06:38,976 --> 00:06:42,112
I know, right? We actually have
a pretty nice family room.
135
00:06:42,223 --> 00:06:43,935
I'm not embarrassed to have
people over anymore.
136
00:06:44,056 --> 00:06:46,144
Don't worry.
We're not having people over.
137
00:06:46,289 --> 00:06:49,063
Can one of you take me
to the library?
138
00:06:49,176 --> 00:06:51,640
Brick, do you not even
notice what they did?
139
00:06:52,832 --> 00:06:56,520
Weird. So can one of you
take me to the library?
140
00:06:56,625 --> 00:06:58,272
I feel like reading about Peru.
141
00:06:58,399 --> 00:06:59,960
No, brick, sorry. Can't.
142
00:07:00,064 --> 00:07:01,776
Actually, won't.
143
00:07:01,927 --> 00:07:04,304
I just got home from work
and I am going to eat my pizza,
144
00:07:04,391 --> 00:07:06,128
for once, while it's still hot.
145
00:07:08,344 --> 00:07:09,584
That is really annoying.
146
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,575
If you're really dying
to find out about Peru,
147
00:07:11,712 --> 00:07:13,112
look it up online.
148
00:07:13,536 --> 00:07:16,591
But I like books. I like
the feel of paper in my hands.
149
00:07:16,705 --> 00:07:18,520
Well, I like the feel
of pizza in my hand,
150
00:07:18,625 --> 00:07:19,976
so nobody's taking you
anywhere right now.
151
00:07:22,001 --> 00:07:23,472
God, if you don't want
to do anything for us,
152
00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:26,263
why'd you even have kids?
'Cause babies are cute.
153
00:07:26,352 --> 00:07:29,289
If you'd had come out teenagers, we
might've had to rethink.
154
00:07:29,457 --> 00:07:30,816
Great. You guys got
the wrong pizza.
155
00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:32,665
It has yellow things
all over it. What is this?
156
00:07:32,768 --> 00:07:36,960
Pineapple pizza!
Oh, Mike.
157
00:07:37,072 --> 00:07:38,320
Still good, huh?
Mwah.
158
00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:39,592
I still don't get it.
Why are you doing this?
159
00:07:39,696 --> 00:07:41,216
What is this about? You trying
to teach us some kind of lesson?
160
00:07:41,313 --> 00:07:43,808
Axl, you really think
we have nothing better to do
161
00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:46,431
than sit around, thinking up
lessons to teach you?
162
00:07:46,528 --> 00:07:49,088
This isn't about you.
Your mom and I love this pizza,
163
00:07:49,185 --> 00:07:52,424
and we never get it. Now we're getting it.
But we don't like this pizza.
164
00:07:52,519 --> 00:07:55,417
You'll eat what we provide.
In the wild,
165
00:07:55,503 --> 00:07:57,680
when the lion brings back
the zebra he just killed,
166
00:07:57,776 --> 00:07:59,632
the cubs don't get to say...
167
00:07:59,735 --> 00:08:01,727
"We don't like zebra.
We wanted wildebeest."
168
00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:04,424
When the lion brings back zebra,
everybody eats zebra.
169
00:08:04,544 --> 00:08:07,287
But I don't like zebra!
I want wildebeest!
170
00:08:07,417 --> 00:08:10,712
Well, all we've got is zebra.
But the zebra has pineapple on it.
171
00:08:10,832 --> 00:08:12,944
Wait. Who's the lion
in this story?
172
00:08:13,071 --> 00:08:13,961
I'm the lion.
173
00:08:14,096 --> 00:08:15,984
I'm the lion
in all the stories.
174
00:08:21,848 --> 00:08:22,703
What are you doing?
175
00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:24,872
We're afraid to go in.
We don't feel welcome.
176
00:08:24,992 --> 00:08:27,224
They're not backing down, axl.
177
00:08:27,328 --> 00:08:29,496
I don't even know
who they are anymore.
178
00:08:32,177 --> 00:08:33,360
You know, carly and I are
working on this dance
179
00:08:33,463 --> 00:08:35,608
for the lunchtime follies,
right? And we saw
180
00:08:35,696 --> 00:08:37,248
these polka-dot umbrellas
at the mall that are, like,
181
00:08:37,368 --> 00:08:39,656
essential to the number.
So I called mom and asked
182
00:08:39,768 --> 00:08:41,209
if she could pick one up
on her way home from work.
183
00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:46,249
She said "no." I should just use whatever
we have in the closet. That's nothing.
184
00:08:46,352 --> 00:08:47,609
Today she doesn't remind me
to bring my lunch,
185
00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:49,808
and then when I text her, she
refuses to bring it to school.
186
00:08:49,944 --> 00:08:52,400
I had no lunch.
No lunch!
187
00:08:52,511 --> 00:08:55,336
No one's taken me to the library
in two days!
188
00:08:55,512 --> 00:08:57,793
Well, just complaining
about it's not gonna help us.
189
00:08:57,936 --> 00:09:00,505
The more we complain,
the stronger they get,
190
00:09:00,616 --> 00:09:03,258
and the longer they live.
191
00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:06,272
The Internet has no paper.
It doesn't smell like paper.
192
00:09:06,368 --> 00:09:07,440
It doesn't feel like paper.
193
00:09:07,568 --> 00:09:08,951
Okay, here's the plan...
194
00:09:09,064 --> 00:09:12,288
we're taking back the house
from them taking back the house.
195
00:09:12,392 --> 00:09:13,432
You see,
it's a double takeback.
196
00:09:13,536 --> 00:09:15,200
Starting today,
we're not gonna react.
197
00:09:15,312 --> 00:09:19,088
We're just gonna play along.
They'll never know what hit 'em.
198
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:26,552
Hey, axl.
What you watching?
199
00:09:26,648 --> 00:09:29,287
It's Southern belle week
on "say yes to the dress."
200
00:09:29,416 --> 00:09:32,247
Everyone's from the South.
Oh, awesome! Mind if I join?
201
00:09:32,408 --> 00:09:36,032
Mm. (Man) Last week on
"say yes to the dress"...
202
00:09:36,143 --> 00:09:37,178
Oh! Can't do it.
203
00:09:41,936 --> 00:09:43,392
No.
204
00:09:44,576 --> 00:09:46,360
Yep,
it was a strange new world.
205
00:09:47,296 --> 00:09:49,392
And brick knew if he had a hope
of surviving in it,
206
00:09:49,496 --> 00:09:50,695
he was gonna have to adapt.
207
00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:52,961
"P"...
208
00:09:54,392 --> 00:09:55,152
"E"...
209
00:09:55,864 --> 00:09:56,664
"R"...
210
00:09:56,856 --> 00:09:58,056
"U."
211
00:10:08,106 --> 00:10:08,897
You may think Mike and I were
crazy for what we were doing,
212
00:10:09,090 --> 00:10:12,857
but the only crazy thing is
we hadn't done it sooner.
213
00:10:17,889 --> 00:10:21,602
Mom, can you please change the station?
I can, but I won't.
214
00:10:28,354 --> 00:10:29,969
Is that the last cookie?
Yep, it is.
215
00:10:30,090 --> 00:10:34,466
Dad. (Mouth full) My mistake.
There's one more.
216
00:10:40,769 --> 00:10:41,465
Mom, dad,
217
00:10:41,570 --> 00:10:43,858
a Nigerian prince
desperately needs our help.
218
00:10:44,001 --> 00:10:46,074
There's a coup, and he needs
our bank account information
219
00:10:46,185 --> 00:10:48,721
in order to transfer millions
of dollars out of his country.
220
00:10:48,810 --> 00:10:52,074
In exchange for our help,
he'll give us $3,000!
221
00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:54,385
Hurry! The bank closes
in half an hour.
222
00:10:54,530 --> 00:10:55,882
It's a scam, brick.
223
00:10:55,993 --> 00:10:57,713
Not everything
on the Internet is true.
224
00:10:57,866 --> 00:11:01,017
So there's not beautiful singles
in my area dying to meet me?
225
00:11:01,154 --> 00:11:04,449
I have to update my blog.
226
00:11:07,689 --> 00:11:11,193
Oh, shoot! My bus is outside,
and nobody packed me a snack!
227
00:11:11,346 --> 00:11:12,929
I need a paper towel roll
for science!
228
00:11:13,074 --> 00:11:14,202
Good luck with that.
229
00:11:14,361 --> 00:11:18,114
Fine! Just sit there
sipping your coffee
230
00:11:18,209 --> 00:11:20,480
while we run around!
That's the plan.
231
00:11:22,882 --> 00:11:25,657
You know, I'm pretty sure
we could sue you for this.
232
00:11:25,738 --> 00:11:28,897
I... well, brick... found
this web site with a lawyer
233
00:11:28,993 --> 00:11:30,290
who will take our case
for 29 bucks,
234
00:11:30,385 --> 00:11:33,866
and I'm pretty confident we would win.
Oh, no. I hope I don't lose custody.
235
00:11:33,961 --> 00:11:36,644
Mom, about the
polka-dot umbrella...
236
00:11:36,729 --> 00:11:37,906
No.
237
00:11:45,626 --> 00:11:46,890
Brick!
238
00:11:47,058 --> 00:11:48,474
Huh? Brick, what are you doing?
You have school.
239
00:11:48,586 --> 00:11:50,145
I woke up
in the middle of the night,
240
00:11:50,242 --> 00:11:52,489
and you won't let me
in your bed, so I came in here
241
00:11:52,634 --> 00:11:54,810
to look up native Americans,
which linked me
242
00:11:54,905 --> 00:11:56,554
to the Albuquerque
balloon festival,
243
00:11:56,657 --> 00:12:00,002
which linked me to stars, which
linked me to "us" magazine,
244
00:12:00,089 --> 00:12:02,145
and it took me all night
to finish clicking
245
00:12:02,241 --> 00:12:05,394
on who wore it best. Well, that's just great.
You missed the bus.
246
00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:06,985
I voted for Ashley Tisdale,
247
00:12:07,114 --> 00:12:09,098
but now
I'm second-guessing myself.
248
00:12:09,217 --> 00:12:11,105
I should make up
a new user name
249
00:12:11,209 --> 00:12:13,338
and vote
for Scarlett Johansson instead.
250
00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:16,034
It's hard
'cause they both wore it well.
251
00:12:16,193 --> 00:12:18,890
Scarlett Johansson.
252
00:12:19,634 --> 00:12:20,826
I'll meet you in the car.
253
00:12:20,986 --> 00:12:23,169
Unh-unh. I'm not driving.
You've got feet.
254
00:12:23,266 --> 00:12:25,953
You're gonna use 'em.
Actions have consequences.
255
00:12:26,082 --> 00:12:28,185
Maybe not before,
but they do now.
256
00:12:36,665 --> 00:12:39,777
Frankie, what's going on?
I saw brick walking to school.
257
00:12:39,881 --> 00:12:42,330
He said he missed the bus and you
wouldn't drive him. That is correct.
258
00:12:42,402 --> 00:12:45,874
Oh, no. Are you and Mike having
problems? Did you lose your job?
259
00:12:45,978 --> 00:12:47,977
Are you drinking mouthwash
to get drunk
260
00:12:48,082 --> 00:12:52,306
in the middle of the day? No.
Mike and I have decided not to be stumps anymore.
261
00:12:52,393 --> 00:12:55,258
If brick misses the bus,
he has to walk to school.
262
00:12:55,393 --> 00:12:59,608
Oh, look! The little river band
cover band
263
00:12:59,715 --> 00:13:01,984
is playing at t.J. Schnauser's
on Wednesday.
264
00:13:02,114 --> 00:13:03,426
I love little river band.
265
00:13:03,521 --> 00:13:06,729
Me, too. Mike and I used to make
out to them when we made out.
266
00:13:06,849 --> 00:13:11,442
On a Wednesday night? Yeah.
We'll get Sean and axl to babysit.
267
00:13:11,554 --> 00:13:12,593
Oh, it would be so much fun.
268
00:13:12,698 --> 00:13:17,082
I haven't been to a concert since the state fair.
I don't know if Sean will want to.
269
00:13:17,170 --> 00:13:18,498
That is stump mentality.
270
00:13:18,626 --> 00:13:21,098
We put a roof over their heads
and food on their table.
271
00:13:21,202 --> 00:13:23,306
We will tell them
they are babysitting.
272
00:13:23,410 --> 00:13:24,658
Are you with me, Nancy?
273
00:13:24,754 --> 00:13:26,466
We're not just gonna
take back our house.
274
00:13:26,568 --> 00:13:28,905
We're gonna take back
our lives.
275
00:13:37,130 --> 00:13:38,489
Wow! They were awesome!
276
00:13:38,586 --> 00:13:40,578
You'd never know
the little river band cover band
277
00:13:40,688 --> 00:13:42,658
is not the little river band.
Yeah.
278
00:13:42,754 --> 00:13:43,905
Why haven't we done this before?
279
00:13:44,043 --> 00:13:47,075
We should! We should do this
every Wednesday.
280
00:13:47,185 --> 00:13:49,954
Mike, we're doing it every Wednesday.
Beer and dollar wings?
281
00:13:50,051 --> 00:13:51,642
Hell, yeah, we're doing it
every Wednesday.
282
00:13:51,753 --> 00:13:54,913
Oh, no more for us.
We gotta head home.
283
00:13:55,025 --> 00:13:56,648
What?!
What? No!
284
00:13:56,762 --> 00:13:57,754
You can't leave now.
285
00:13:57,856 --> 00:13:59,202
They haven't even done
"lonesome loser."
286
00:13:59,298 --> 00:14:01,354
You can't leave
before "lonesome loser."
287
00:14:01,458 --> 00:14:02,985
It's just,
we told Dottie and Shelly
288
00:14:03,074 --> 00:14:05,073
we'd be home in time
for their bedtime ritual.
289
00:14:05,210 --> 00:14:07,273
They love the way
Ron says "good night"
290
00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:09,090
in the voice
of their lambie pie.
291
00:14:09,201 --> 00:14:12,218
I say...
Good night.
292
00:14:12,394 --> 00:14:15,232
It's like a sheep.
They like it.
293
00:14:15,338 --> 00:14:18,170
Oh, come on. You should at least
stay and...
294
00:14:19,226 --> 00:14:20,298
Oh, shoot.
I have to go, too.
295
00:14:20,409 --> 00:14:23,488
Ugh. What? Nicole's texting me.
She needs help with her homework.
296
00:14:23,586 --> 00:14:25,440
People, this is exactly
what I'm talking about.
297
00:14:25,546 --> 00:14:27,497
You are allowed to put
your own happiness first
298
00:14:27,602 --> 00:14:29,578
once in a while.
Is that true?
299
00:14:29,682 --> 00:14:32,762
Yeah. Yes!
We took our lives back a week ago,
300
00:14:32,873 --> 00:14:34,569
and it has been like
being on vacation
301
00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:37,529
in Paris or myrtle beach.
It's that good.
302
00:14:37,634 --> 00:14:41,346
And just last night,
we kissed... on a Tuesday.
303
00:14:41,449 --> 00:14:44,250
She's asking if we've left yet.
304
00:14:44,346 --> 00:14:45,978
Think about when you were kids.
305
00:14:46,065 --> 00:14:48,714
Did your parents spend their
whole weekend entertaining you?
306
00:14:48,802 --> 00:14:50,906
Did they cater
to your every whim? No.
307
00:14:51,018 --> 00:14:54,652
Somewhere along the way, we all started drinking
the kool-aid. And how about all the weekends
308
00:14:54,754 --> 00:14:55,785
we spent with the kids
at the zoo?
309
00:14:55,922 --> 00:15:00,570
They don't remember any of it. Might as well take 'em to a bar.
We took Sean to the space needle.
310
00:15:00,666 --> 00:15:02,521
He said it was boring.
311
00:15:02,626 --> 00:15:03,834
Oh, God, now she's texting me.
312
00:15:03,930 --> 00:15:06,817
Algebra homework.
I hate algebra.
313
00:15:06,937 --> 00:15:08,538
What are we gonna do?
Shh! Let me think.
314
00:15:08,617 --> 00:15:10,874
What is there to think about?
You did your homework.
315
00:15:10,961 --> 00:15:13,538
You studied algebra.
You made the bus.
316
00:15:13,635 --> 00:15:16,265
And now it's our time to take
a night out for ourselves
317
00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:18,346
to just dance
to the sweet sounds
318
00:15:18,481 --> 00:15:20,313
of the little river band
cover band.
319
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:23,018
Are you joining the revolution
or not?
320
00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:25,401
I'm texting her back "no."
321
00:15:25,537 --> 00:15:26,904
I'm shaking.
322
00:15:27,617 --> 00:15:28,962
What did she text back?
323
00:15:29,090 --> 00:15:31,690
I don't know.
I'm turning it off.
324
00:15:31,809 --> 00:15:33,434
Whoo!
325
00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:39,562
We're changing the world, Mike,
326
00:15:39,657 --> 00:15:41,226
one couple at a time!
327
00:15:58,298 --> 00:16:00,306
I can't believe
you are just getting home!
328
00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:01,634
It is 10:20!
329
00:16:01,754 --> 00:16:05,145
Wow! (Laughs) No wonder I'm so tired.
330
00:16:05,241 --> 00:16:06,754
You leave me alone
with sue and brick.
331
00:16:06,856 --> 00:16:09,218
They won't go to bed.
You're out doing God knows what,
332
00:16:09,313 --> 00:16:10,634
and I just don't understand
333
00:16:10,777 --> 00:16:15,306
what do you wanna hear? E
I appreciate you. I'm bad.
334
00:16:15,417 --> 00:16:17,730
You're good. I haven't been
focusing enough on my grades.
335
00:16:17,834 --> 00:16:20,290
I should call grandma,
clean my bed, pick up my pants.
336
00:16:20,409 --> 00:16:23,546
What? What do you want from me?
Just tell me, and I'll do it
337
00:16:23,641 --> 00:16:25,674
so we can go back
to our normal lives.
338
00:16:25,803 --> 00:16:30,569
Okay, axl. Well, uh...
Here's the truth.
339
00:16:30,689 --> 00:16:35,667
This whole thing has been
about... um... your grades.
340
00:16:35,794 --> 00:16:37,378
Thank you.
341
00:16:37,481 --> 00:16:41,065
God! You're always on me
about my grades! Ugh!
342
00:16:41,193 --> 00:16:43,321
Mom, dad...
343
00:16:43,418 --> 00:16:45,073
The follies are tomorrow,
344
00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:47,170
and I just have to have
that polka-dot umbrella,
345
00:16:47,250 --> 00:16:49,201
'cause the twins are gonna have
matching sparkle scrunchies
346
00:16:49,298 --> 00:16:50,635
for their act...
go to bed, sue.
347
00:16:54,130 --> 00:16:54,994
Brick! Bed.
348
00:16:55,329 --> 00:16:58,218
Okay! Hold on! I'm just
bidding on a speedboat!
349
00:16:58,347 --> 00:17:00,010
I think I'm gonna get it!
350
00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:02,723
Mornin'.
351
00:17:02,842 --> 00:17:06,481
Whew! Was I drumming
last night?
352
00:17:06,578 --> 00:17:07,746
My wrist hurts.
353
00:17:07,826 --> 00:17:10,273
No, you slipped
in Nancy's vomit.
354
00:17:10,361 --> 00:17:13,033
Ohh. You know, I don't
think we're gonna be able
355
00:17:13,138 --> 00:17:15,178
to do this every Wednesday.
Hmm.
356
00:17:15,321 --> 00:17:18,810
Did you guys know that you can
find anything on the Internet?
357
00:17:18,922 --> 00:17:20,690
And I mean anything?
358
00:17:20,930 --> 00:17:22,090
Like what exactly?
359
00:17:22,170 --> 00:17:26,185
Like, I looked up "Moby dick,"
the hard edition.
360
00:17:26,298 --> 00:17:27,321
Oh. You didn't.
361
00:17:27,434 --> 00:17:30,681
And you can't believe what came up.
Oh, I'm afraid we can.
362
00:17:30,786 --> 00:17:33,321
All these first editions
and stuff.
363
00:17:33,409 --> 00:17:36,218
It's all right there
on rareprintbooks. Com.
364
00:17:36,321 --> 00:17:39,386
Oh. See?
Oh. Good for you, brick.
365
00:17:39,485 --> 00:17:41,081
That's what the Internet
is for... books.
366
00:17:41,178 --> 00:17:42,962
Oh, and then I met
some guy online
367
00:17:43,074 --> 00:17:44,674
who wants to meet me
at the park.
368
00:17:47,379 --> 00:17:50,398
Maybe we should have
taken him to the library.
369
00:17:50,665 --> 00:17:53,497
I can either bring
a black umbrella
370
00:17:53,570 --> 00:17:54,842
or a hello Kitty one.
371
00:17:54,953 --> 00:17:57,178
No, it's okay, carly.
They don't have to match.
372
00:17:57,282 --> 00:17:59,621
Well, I have a pink raincoat.
373
00:17:59,714 --> 00:18:03,185
Maybe I can cut it into dots
and staple it on.
374
00:18:03,299 --> 00:18:05,609
I know it's not exactly
what we wanted,
375
00:18:05,681 --> 00:18:08,923
but our dancing
will make up for it.
376
00:18:09,025 --> 00:18:10,818
Frankie, be strong.
377
00:18:10,930 --> 00:18:13,025
I am. I totally am.
378
00:18:13,138 --> 00:18:16,794
The truth is,
I sort of felt bad.
379
00:18:17,002 --> 00:18:19,041
But it was ridiculous.
What was I gonna do...
380
00:18:19,129 --> 00:18:21,706
go late to work
so I could drive by the mall
381
00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:23,393
and buy
a stupid polka-dot umbrella
382
00:18:23,506 --> 00:18:25,377
for a one-time
lunch performance?
383
00:18:25,473 --> 00:18:27,817
Yes, I was.
384
00:18:27,913 --> 00:18:31,489
Oh, my gosh!
Thank you! Thank you so much!
385
00:18:31,595 --> 00:18:34,961
You're the best mom ever! Oh!
Honey, you're welcome.
386
00:18:35,050 --> 00:18:37,162
Hey, listen, we don't need
to tell your dad about this.
387
00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:39,554
Got it. I gotta go find carly
and tell her!
388
00:18:45,161 --> 00:18:47,762
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold up there, mister.
389
00:18:47,849 --> 00:18:49,505
You're a little too big
to hide.
390
00:18:51,201 --> 00:18:54,843
Aha. Wow.
Look what we have here.
391
00:18:54,946 --> 00:18:57,449
Looks like what we have here
is a stump.
392
00:18:57,570 --> 00:19:00,338
Oh, I'm the stump?
No, you're the stump.
393
00:19:00,441 --> 00:19:02,849
I can't believe
that you would do this.
394
00:19:02,953 --> 00:19:05,577
Then you go behind my back
and get the umbrella for her
395
00:19:05,665 --> 00:19:07,634
so that I look like
the bad guy?
396
00:19:07,753 --> 00:19:10,153
You mean like you went
behind my back? Stump?
397
00:19:10,242 --> 00:19:15,537
Okay, look, we were
weak, but this doesn't mean
398
00:19:15,634 --> 00:19:17,705
that we still can't be strong
in the future.
399
00:19:17,834 --> 00:19:19,905
No, this is a one-time thing.
It's just an umbrella.
400
00:19:20,002 --> 00:19:22,194
It's not like we're giving up
on the whole revolution.
401
00:19:22,322 --> 00:19:23,945
And now we own the umbrella.
402
00:19:24,074 --> 00:19:25,555
I mean, after the show,
we can still use it.
403
00:19:25,697 --> 00:19:29,738
Yeah. I mean, you can't have too many umbrellas.
Never. And just 'cause we're giving up on this,
404
00:19:29,865 --> 00:19:34,130
doesn't mean we... we gave in on everything.
Oh, no, it's not like it's the beginning of the end.
405
00:19:34,282 --> 00:19:35,473
It was the beginning
of the end.
406
00:19:35,578 --> 00:19:38,265
In a few weeks, we had
slipped back into old habits.
407
00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:44,386
Yay, cheese! Don't worry.
The pineapple slice is for your dad and me.
408
00:19:44,498 --> 00:19:46,978
What? I love pineapple
on pizza now.
409
00:19:54,185 --> 00:19:57,441
Oh, what's the matter, sweetie?
You want your binky?
410
00:19:57,561 --> 00:19:58,473
Your bottle?
411
00:19:58,577 --> 00:20:01,347
Tell me what you want,
and I will get it for you.
412
00:20:01,466 --> 00:20:04,866
Stop. Don't do it. Give him
what you want him to have.
413
00:20:04,969 --> 00:20:07,515
It's too late for me,
but you're just starting out.
414
00:20:07,626 --> 00:20:09,034
It's not too late for you.
415
00:20:09,146 --> 00:20:10,770
Tell your friends.
Spread the word.
416
00:20:14,545 --> 00:20:15,473
She won't.
417
00:20:16,074 --> 00:20:16,826
Mom!
418
00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:19,873
Coming!
419
00:20:21,633 --> 00:20:22,714
So why do we keep
running around,
420
00:20:22,809 --> 00:20:25,577
doing for our kids, even when
it makes our lives hard?
421
00:20:28,410 --> 00:20:29,537
'Cause we love them,
422
00:20:29,986 --> 00:20:32,505
and it makes you happy
to make them happy.
423
00:20:34,002 --> 00:20:35,897
Damn it.
That's how they getcha.
424
00:20:40,232 --> 00:20:42,263
At least in the end,
it's worth it.
425
00:20:42,313 --> 00:20:46,863
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