Original subtitles

Sync By n17t01

www.addic7ed.com

Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org

Or one roll of the dice away from being a big winner.

That kind of crazy, delusional thinking

Is practically bred into us.

So I'm at the mall in front of hot dogs u.S.A.,

And this woman comes up to me and tells me

That I have what it takes... To be a model! Aah!

You guys wanna take this, or should I just jump in?

Axl. A model. That's... Great.

I know!

And she said she or one of her associates could train me

To be a model and even get me glossy head shots,

All for $500!

(tv playing indistinctly)

Okay, look, I know what you all are thinking,

But I've seen pictures of supermodels

When they were my age, and they are not that great.

She said, I have "it. " sure, if by "it," you mean

No chance of ever in a million years,

Even if everybody else in the world were dead except you,

Could you ever be a model. Mom!

Mike. (mike) axl.

Honey, you totally have "it,"

But what we don't have is that kind of money.

If I save enough babysitting, can I do it? Sure.

At a buck 50 an hour,

I figured that was a bet worth taking. Yay!

(electrical pop) (frankie, brick and sue) aah!

Dude! Blackout!

Okay, everybody relax. Axl, get the flashlights.

Well, the neighbors' lights are on.

Frankie, we paid the electric bill, didn't we?

(sighs)

This is an outrage!

If you're gonna shut off the power,

Do it at the top of the hour,

Before I'm already hooked on " conveyor belt of love."

Hey, hey, hey! Don't let the cold air out.

You have one grab, and you eat what you get.

(muzak playing)

Peas! Oh, this sucks. Well, sorry, and thank you for playing.

(beep) (man, indian accent) orson electric.

Charlie speaking. Oh, hi. (whispers) shh! I got him.

How may I assist you with excellent customer service?

(normal voice) uh, yes, hi, charlie.

Uh, this is frankie heck from 427 birchwood.

You shut off our power. That is correct.

You are three months behind on payment.

Yeah, well, that must be a mistake,

Because I talked to peggy in the orson office last week

About making a payment next Tuesday... (mouths word)

And she was very nice and she promised me

That the power would stay on till then.

Promised.

I do not see that note in my system.

Please hold for our automated customer satisfaction survey.

(snaps cell phone shut, thud) oh, well. I'll go down there tomorrow

And take care of it in person.

Mike, cold air, cold air! Beer... I know the shape well.

How did this happen?

I figured if we kept plugging holes

Till the quarry reopened, we'd be okay. Yeah, well, we figured wrong.

Mm. You know, when they laid me off,

They gave me the name of that financial planner guy

Who'll give you a free 30-minute consultation.

We were too proud back then, but when I look at it

In the, uh, harsh glow of candlelight...

(clicks tongue) maybe we should call. Mm-hmm.

Whipped cream!

Okay, here's the thing.

You can keep it, or...

Give it to mom, you get a free bonus grab.

Bonus grab.

Aw. Sauerkraut.

(mouth full) good try though. Good try. (spritzes)

After a healthy breakfast of olives and butter,

Brick was dealt another bad hand.

See, brick and a few other kids

Who were in his social skills group

Liked to spend recess in the peace and quiet

Of the library, until... All right, boys. I need you to come with me.

We're instituting a new school policy--

One you'll actually find lots of fun.

Wait.

This leads to the...

(children laughing and shouting indistinctly in distance)

Playground!

(man) that's right.

From now on the library will be closed at recess,

And all students must play outside. Have fun!

(children shouting indistinctly)

(thuds)

(indistinct screaming)

We can't stay here!

Okay, if we can make it to that slide over there,

I think we'll be safe.

Hoodies up.

Follow me!

(boy) help!

We'll send help when we reach safety!

(whispers) safety.

(slide rattles)

God, where is this guy?

He's been looking at our paperwork

For over 25 minutes.

(frankie) five more minutes, he starts charging.

Hello, mr. Heck. Yeah, yeah. Cut to the chase. Five minutes.

How screwed are we, and what do we do? (clicks tongue) well, you're doing a lot of things right.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. All right. Uh, well, long story short,

You're spending a lot more than you earn,

So we need to find, uh, places you can cut back,

So we're looking for unnecessary expenses. Okay, okay. Category is unnecessary expenses.

Insurance. Phone.

Mike, help me!

Gas! Heat. Cleaning products.

Gas. Said that already.

Orthodontist! Nice!

Uh, no, those are necessary expenses.

We're looking for extras.

Y-you know, things you could do without.

(sighs) oh, god. There are none.

We've already cut back on everything.

Steve, come to our house. There's nothing good there. Well, how about that $3 cup of coffee in your hand?

How often do you get that?

Not very often. Every day.

Uh, are you on my team here or not?

(tapping keys) times 5 days a week, times 52 weeks a year--

Hey, that's $750 right there. (exhales deeply)

He buys imported beer! Imported from ohio. Thanks, pal.

You started it. Add that. Go ahead. Add that, steve.

Add the beer. She buys pop at the drive-through,

Even though we already have pop at home! Oh!

Wait a minute. This is part of his plan.

Turn us against each other so we lose track of time.

Yeah, that's my plan.

Look, here's the thing.

Spend less, cut back, pay off your debts.

Seven of your credit cards have doubled their rates.

Pay 'em down.

Okay, wait a second.

I have one really important question.

What if we-- (timer dings)

Never mind.

We're eating at the table?

Oh, no. Dad's dying. Nobody's dying.

We're just eating all the stuff

Out of the fridge before it goes bad.

Dad grilled the crap out of everything,

But I would still give it the sniff test

Before you put it in your mouth. (mike) now, listen, your mom and I met

With this, uh, financial advisor today,

And he says we're doing pretty good.

We just gotta learn to manage our money a little bit better,

Which means that until the quarry reopens,

We just gotta find ways to cut back. I vote we let brick go. He's the weakest link.

I say we just leave him in the woods and walk away.

Great suggestion, but how about we buy less takeout food,

And I cook more? I'll take my chances in the woods.

Hey, we gotta make some tough choices here.

I'm not saying it's gonna be easy.

Like... I know that we love it,

But it's really expensive, and we really don't need it,

So... We're getting rid of cable.

No! What?

Mom's cooking and no tv?

That's child abuse! Oh, my god. Oh, my god!

What if there's an emergency,

And we don't have tv to tell us what to do? Yeah! It's a safety issue.

What is wrong with my children?

You're acting like this is the end of the world. How is it not? Tell me how it's not.

Sorry, guys, but cable's gotta go. And you know what?

This just might turn out to be a good thing,

'cause maybe you'll start developing some interests

Beyond vegging out on the couch. (appliances beeping and whirring)

Yay! The check cleared. (sue, brick and axl) tv!

Ha ha! (laughs)

(man speaking indistinctly)

The next day wasn't any easier for brick.

(children shouting indistinctly) (clank)

I miss the library.

Meow. There's a bell out here. It's gonna ring!

It's gonna be too loud.

I gotta go talk to mr. Seifried. You'll never make it!

I gotta try.

(thud)

He's been hit!

It's okay!

He's fine. Nothing to see.

Come on.

Let's get you back into the library.

(sniffles) I'm going home?

Wait!

Mr. Seifried, we're not cut out for the playground.

Zach's an indoor cat,

And corey really needs to keep his socks white,

Or he'll freak out. Come on. Recess is good for you.

Next week we're introducing dodgeball!

So we didn't have cable- not the end of the world.

We just went old school and broke out the rabbit ears.

(static whines) yeah, that whole digital revolution thing

Screwed us pretty good,

But, funny thing,

The kids were handling no tv better than expected.

Sue was babysitting to raise money

For her future modeling career.

(clatter)

Brick... Well, brick read. Big surprise.

Axl finally had time to start a band.

Let's rock! Two... Three... Four--

Wait.

Who's rockin'? We don't have a name yet.

Axl and the axmen. Two... Three... Four-- whoa, whoa.

How come you're the only one to get your name in the name?

'cause your garage is filled

With your sister's gymnastics equipment. But the band never actually played,

And mike and I...

Got any 2s?

Any 2s?

Go fish.

(sighs)

Sue modeled... (exhales deeply)

(thud)

Brick read...

Axl practiced...

And mike and I...

(crickets chirping)

This is nice. Yeah.

Yeah.

*

(sighs) we gotta get a hobby.

Yeah.

We're pathetic.

How come our kids can think of things to do

Besides watch tv, and we can't?

They're young. They still find life interesting.

Come on. We can do this.

All right. The category is hobbies.

(sighs) bowling.

Costs money.

Scrapbooking.

I'm a man.

(telephone rings) (sighs) I'll get it.

Dad, would you write me a note to get me out of recess?

Recess? Why would I want you out of recess? I love recess!

Recess is the best part of the day.

For the strong! Why do I even bother?

(hangs up telephone) guess who has plans for tomorrow night?

Aunt edie and aunt ginny have invited us to bingo

At the church. You know, a few weeks ago, I would've laughed,

But I'm actually excited.

(laughs) yeah, right?

(bingo balls clatter)

B-13!

And don't forget to stamp the middle square!

(chuckles) it's a freebie.

Mm.

(whispers) oh, and if you want to smoke...

*

(coughs) no one will know.

Thanks for the tip, and the burn in my pants.

(man) n-34! Look around, mike. This is our future.

Actually this is your future.

All the men smartened up and died.

G-56!

So, aunt edie, what am I missing in "the bachelor"? Three words--hot tub fight.

(gasps) no.

O-72! So tara's still in the running?

Frankie. (sighs) but he's so handsome, and she's so skanky.

Frankie. Bingo! You won?

No, you won. We got a bingo over here. Oh! Oh!

Let's collect our prize and go. (gasps)

I hope it's the his and her medicalert bracelets. Yeah, with all the bacon we eat, they'll come in handy.

Well, you picked a good night to come to church.

(chuckles)

Ladies and ladies,

We have our $1,000 winner.

(cheers and applause) $1,000?

Wait. A real $1,000?

Not, like, "church bucks" or diner coupons?

Oh, my god. (laughs) ohh. (laughs)

(man laughs) (frankie) aah! (laughs)

(cheering)

I'm holding more money

Than I ever have in my whole life! (laughs)

Wanna roll around in it?

There's only ten bills here. We'd feel stupid.

Ohh. This is so great.

Ohh. There is so much we can do with this.

Like our financial advisor said,

You know, finally pay down our credit cards.

Yeah, it--it--it's great.

Paying that down... Will feel great.

So great.

To know we're doing the right thing...

That's gonna really feel great.

I mean, winning the money at church

Is obviously some kind of sign from god.

Or... Was it a test from god--

A test to see if we would use it to enjoy life?

Well, there's a lot of things to spend it on,

If we weren't gonna pay the debt down.

But you're right.

We should be responsible.

Definitely. Although...

Shouldn't how we spend the money be a family decision?

Yes! A family decision!

Kids! Get in here. We need to talk to you.

(sighs)

Oh, no. Mom's dying.

Sit down.

Here's the deal. Dad and I won a substantial amount of money

At church bingo.

All right! Awesome!

You were playing bingo?

And we thought it only fair that you guys weigh in

And tell us what you think we should do with the money.

(gasps) I can get modeling classes!

Whoa. I need a new amp.

I need 20 bucks to bribe a playground monitor...

Or hire a bully.

W-well, hold on.

We were thinking more along the lines

Of something the whole family could enjoy. Dad's right.

We need to pick something that will make all of us happy,

But what could that be? I vote amp.

20 bucks. Modeling.

Sue, get real. I mean, look at a supermodel,

And then look at you. Oh, I could so be a supermodel. (laughs)

Mom, dad, couldn't I be a supermodel?

No. Yes.

Well, like you could be a rock star?

I just want to get out of dodgeball.

Look, I think we're getting away from the point here.

Yeah, the point is,

We need to channel all those thoughts

And get a clear picture of what would make us all happy.

We already told you what we wanted.

You know what? You're all useless.

This is an adult decision. Get out. Ugh.

(sighs) hmm.

(sighs)

What the hell did we do right

That not a single one of 'em picked tv?

So we thought about it,

And in the light of day, things seemed clearer. Well, the first thing we should do

Is not leave $1, 000 sitting on the counter.

The kids blew their shot. It's all here.

Mm. I hate to say it, mike, but given our situation,

I think we both know what we have to do.

Yep. Mom, dad, if things go south today,

I just want you to know

My personal effects are in the peanut can under my bed.

Good to know, son, but you're not getting out of recess.

I've been reconning all week,

And I think I have a plan to get us back into the library.

We just need to get mr. Seifried away from that door.

Unh-unh. I'm too scared. What if we get hit?

Do you want to stay

In this stinkin' playground forever? (whiny voice) no.

All right then.

Now my intel says

That the handball boys hate the 4-square boys,

So if we get 'em together, it'll create a diversion,

Giving us enough time to make it back into the library. But how?

With this, the key to the whole operation--

The double dutch girls.

(whispers) double dutch.

(brick) here's the plan.

We'll tell rayna that one of the 4-square boys likes her.

Really?

She'll run over to the 4-square boys

To find out if it's true.

Hey, mitch. I hear you like me. This will cause him to freak out

And drop the 4-square ball.

We'll grab it

And throw it into the middle of the handball area,

Wrecking their game. Hey! Your stupid ball messed us up.

They'll blame the 4-square boys re

Ea wrecking their game. Hey! Your stupid ball messed us up.

Not yet.

(clatter) (children screaming)

(blows whistle)

Let's go.

(whistle blows)

Okay! All right. Don't eat--

Don't eat-- everybody's friends!

(thud)

Oh, no.

Leave me here, brick. Save yourself!

No man left behind. Come on!

I can't. My sock is so white.

I can't get it dirty.

You saved my life...

And my sock.

Semper fi, my brother.

Semper fi.

Oh. See? (door opens)

You could've had the hot karate guy,

But you thought you could do better,

And now you're stuck, aren't ya?

How are you watching tv? I paid for the cable.

I even prepaid for the whole year--

Saved us 15 bucks.

How's that for smart financial planning, hmm? Why did you do that?

'cause that's what we agreed on.

Come, sit, watch. (pats sofa)

She passed on karate guy. Frankie, I wanted tv, too,

But we agreed to pay off the credit card.

That's why I sent in a check- a check that's now gonna bounce.

What? Wait.

(sets down remote control)

Where did you get the idea we agreed

To pay off the credit card? This morning when you said, "given our situation..."

Yeah, given our situation that it sucks to not have any tv.

Duh! I mean, we have no mind connection.

We'd be terrible on a game show.

How in the world do you justify spending the money on cable?

'cause I thought we agreed to spin the wheel--

You know, go for what we want

And take the risk that it'll all work out.

I thought we were both spinners, mike. Oh, that's just great.

Sue's gonna be a model, and axl's gonna be a rock star

And some miracle's gonna fall into our lap

And solve all our financial problems,

So let's just get tv. You're delusional! Well, you're un-american!

What? That's right,

'cause real americans are raised on instant gratification

And the optimism that if they mess up,

Things will somehow all work out.

That's wh makes america great!

How sad to be you

In your dark little no-tv world.

You're crazy if you think something's just gonna drop

In your lap.

We just won $1,000!

How much luck do you think we're entitled to? Uh, dad?

All of it! All of it, mike! I'm going for more!

Big spin! Big spin! I'm going all the way. (frankie) turns out the kids weren't wrong.

A lot of important messages do come over the tv.

Mom! Dad! The quarry's open.

Wow. I'm going back to work.

We won! Big winners!

(laughs) big winners! Whoo!

What's going on?

I just got my job back. (laughs) we spun and we won!

Aah! Aah!

In a countryh where this is possible,

Sue could be a supermodel...

Axl could be a rock star...

Brick could be a great leader of men.

You just gotta believe

And keep spinnin',

'cause you never know.

Sync By n17t01 www.addic7ed.com

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