All language subtitles for The Middle s01e10 Christmas.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,196 --> 00:00:03,992 "Christmas" 2 00:00:04,456 --> 00:00:05,950 "Dear friends and family"... 3 00:00:06,032 --> 00:00:08,902 "Merry Christmas! 2009 has been a busy 4 00:00:08,963 --> 00:00:10,569 "and exciting year for the Hecks. 5 00:00:10,659 --> 00:00:13,001 "Last summer, I lost my job in the dental office 6 00:00:13,210 --> 00:00:15,972 "but was lucky enough to land a new, thrilling job 7 00:00:16,012 --> 00:00:19,171 "selling cars, and thanks to his years of hard work, 8 00:00:19,206 --> 00:00:21,107 "Mike got a promotion at the quarry 9 00:00:21,142 --> 00:00:22,270 and is now manager." 10 00:00:22,361 --> 00:00:24,490 Carl blew his arm off, can't type. 11 00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,678 Congratulations. You're the new manager. 12 00:00:26,941 --> 00:00:30,750 "Even Axl, who's now 15, has recently joined the workforce, 13 00:00:30,785 --> 00:00:32,087 "and we're having so much fun 14 00:00:32,157 --> 00:00:34,542 watching him take on this new responsibility." 15 00:00:36,004 --> 00:00:37,275 Excuse me, sir. 16 00:00:37,310 --> 00:00:39,040 I believe I'm done with this plate. 17 00:00:39,041 --> 00:00:41,595 "And Sue, 13, is busy with..." 18 00:00:45,164 --> 00:00:46,971 "Sue made..." 19 00:00:49,936 --> 00:00:52,482 "Sue tried out for..." 20 00:00:58,277 --> 00:00:59,669 "Sue has a boyfriend." 21 00:01:00,443 --> 00:01:02,321 Ugh. I wish I didn't have to leave, 22 00:01:02,356 --> 00:01:04,536 but I have to get up so early tomorrow. 23 00:01:04,717 --> 00:01:05,475 Show choir's performing 24 00:01:05,555 --> 00:01:08,017 at the Little Betty Snack cake factory in the morning. 25 00:01:08,052 --> 00:01:09,821 We get to wear hairnets and everything. 26 00:01:10,175 --> 00:01:11,061 Lucky! 27 00:01:12,314 --> 00:01:15,334 Well... good night. 28 00:01:24,662 --> 00:01:27,274 "But nothing says Christmas like the wonder and magic 29 00:01:27,309 --> 00:01:28,965 on our little boy Brick's face." 30 00:01:30,178 --> 00:01:32,370 I just don't understand Christmas. 31 00:01:32,445 --> 00:01:34,197 It's like we're supposed to be happy, 32 00:01:34,232 --> 00:01:35,944 but how can we possibly enjoy it 33 00:01:36,004 --> 00:01:38,517 knowing that it's all so... fleeting? 34 00:01:38,918 --> 00:01:40,354 Fleeting. 35 00:01:40,820 --> 00:01:43,179 Brick, what are you talkin' about? 36 00:01:43,214 --> 00:01:45,034 You love Christmas. 37 00:01:45,566 --> 00:01:46,593 Do I? 38 00:01:48,236 --> 00:01:51,196 Ah, the first tradition of the holiday season-- 39 00:01:51,231 --> 00:01:53,154 The putting off of the christmas letter. 40 00:01:56,266 --> 00:01:58,381 ¶ La la la la la la la ¶ 41 00:01:58,416 --> 00:01:59,393 But he's 8. 42 00:01:59,394 --> 00:02:01,862 8-year-olds are supposed to be happy at Christmas. 43 00:02:02,292 --> 00:02:04,531 ¶ La la la la la la la ¶ 44 00:02:04,566 --> 00:02:06,733 Plus he's whispering to himself more often. 45 00:02:07,079 --> 00:02:08,353 Don't let it stress you out. 46 00:02:08,364 --> 00:02:09,449 Yeah, that's easy for you to say. 47 00:02:09,484 --> 00:02:11,821 You don't have kids. Trust me, as a parent, 48 00:02:11,856 --> 00:02:14,237 you're only as happy as your least happy kid. 49 00:02:14,645 --> 00:02:17,800 ¶ La la la la la la la ¶ 50 00:02:17,835 --> 00:02:20,358 - Thank God I don't have kids. - I'm so proud of you. 51 00:02:20,359 --> 00:02:23,237 - I just roam the Earth alone. - Shh! 52 00:02:24,381 --> 00:02:25,966 Eyes on me, please, people. 53 00:02:26,032 --> 00:02:28,690 Thank you. As you know, next week we'll be having 54 00:02:28,725 --> 00:02:30,557 tryouts for the midnight mass solo. 55 00:02:30,703 --> 00:02:33,139 I don't know why they even bother with tryouts. 56 00:02:33,174 --> 00:02:35,589 Everybody knows Melanie Howard's just gonna get it anyway. 57 00:02:35,661 --> 00:02:38,062 Tell me about it. Voice like an angel 58 00:02:38,097 --> 00:02:40,246 and married to an orthodontist. She's so friggin' blessed. 59 00:02:40,281 --> 00:02:42,131 - Shh! Quiet. - I'll see you at the tryouts. 60 00:02:42,166 --> 00:02:45,191 Oh, and I have some sad news. 61 00:02:46,616 --> 00:02:48,837 Melanie Howard has throat polyps! 62 00:02:48,872 --> 00:02:49,476 Yes! 63 00:02:50,264 --> 00:02:52,237 You didn't get this excited when my uncle had 'em. 64 00:02:52,272 --> 00:02:55,796 Ohh. I have been in that choir for 15 years, 65 00:02:55,831 --> 00:03:00,020 and for 15 years, Melanie Howard has hogged all the solos. 66 00:03:00,340 --> 00:03:03,813 Now she has polyps, and the field is wide open. 67 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:05,797 Oh. There you are. 68 00:03:05,838 --> 00:03:07,262 Oh, ahoy, matey! 69 00:03:07,406 --> 00:03:09,172 So I signed you up to bring in pies 70 00:03:09,207 --> 00:03:11,861 for the Team Christmas party, which is tonight at 8:00, and, uh... 71 00:03:11,911 --> 00:03:13,569 I'm out of underwear. 72 00:03:15,014 --> 00:03:16,335 But you said you would take me to the mall 73 00:03:16,336 --> 00:03:17,630 to pick out Brad's Christmas present. 74 00:03:18,063 --> 00:03:21,260 He said he wanted body scrub with papaya and ylang-ylang. 75 00:03:22,221 --> 00:03:24,089 Okay, I'll take you to the mall. 76 00:03:24,220 --> 00:03:24,874 Thank you. 77 00:03:26,892 --> 00:03:30,218 Who am I kidding? There's no way I can try out for that solo. 78 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:31,133 Why not? 79 00:03:31,685 --> 00:03:34,068 Because a s-solo involves a lot of extra practices, 80 00:03:34,103 --> 00:03:35,806 and I just can't take that on right now. 81 00:03:35,835 --> 00:03:38,606 It's Christmas! It's the most stressful holiday of the year. 82 00:03:38,641 --> 00:03:40,803 - I can do it. - Do what? 83 00:03:41,140 --> 00:03:42,638 Handle Christmas. 84 00:03:42,673 --> 00:03:45,104 Oh, right. You can handle Christmas? 85 00:03:45,569 --> 00:03:47,485 You can't handle Christmas. 86 00:03:48,467 --> 00:03:50,772 All you gotta do is get organized. 87 00:03:51,047 --> 00:03:52,924 Your problem is you're not organized. 88 00:03:53,276 --> 00:03:54,252 You don't even make lists. 89 00:03:54,601 --> 00:03:56,980 Right, that's my problem. I'm not organized. 90 00:03:56,981 --> 00:04:00,402 I happen to have a pocketful of Post-Its that says otherwise. 91 00:04:00,962 --> 00:04:01,542 Trust me, Mike, 92 00:04:01,961 --> 00:04:05,305 you have no idea what Christmas involves. 93 00:04:05,340 --> 00:04:09,106 There is shopping, wrapping, baking, taking the aunts 94 00:04:09,141 --> 00:04:11,143 to the Assisted Living Christmas dance. 95 00:04:11,178 --> 00:04:12,542 Sounds like a piece of cake. 96 00:04:12,543 --> 00:04:15,797 I'm on a holiday schedule till New Year's. Bring it on. 97 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:16,926 What was the first thing-- 98 00:04:16,961 --> 00:04:17,878 - Shopping? - Yeah. 99 00:04:17,929 --> 00:04:21,438 Hey, Axl, I'm going to the mall. Did you do your Christmas list? 100 00:04:21,892 --> 00:04:23,928 Cash, a cell phone and to be left alone. 101 00:04:25,312 --> 00:04:25,916 Brick. 102 00:04:26,589 --> 00:04:27,993 Did you make your list for Santa? 103 00:04:29,003 --> 00:04:31,526 What I really want this year are some answers. 104 00:04:32,059 --> 00:04:34,063 What's the true meaning of Christmas? 105 00:04:34,626 --> 00:04:36,079 Are we here for a reason? 106 00:04:36,754 --> 00:04:38,293 What is the purpose of life? 107 00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:40,576 How about a bike? 108 00:04:44,961 --> 00:04:46,596 Hey, Mom, can I ask you something? 109 00:04:46,597 --> 00:04:47,069 Sure. 110 00:04:47,591 --> 00:04:50,260 The thing is, Brad and I have been going out for a month now, 111 00:04:50,611 --> 00:04:52,065 and he still hasn't kissed me. 112 00:04:52,407 --> 00:04:53,554 I sure like that kid. 113 00:04:54,166 --> 00:04:57,849 Well, maybe he's just shy, 114 00:04:58,689 --> 00:05:01,028 or, you know, a gentleman. 115 00:05:02,164 --> 00:05:04,527 Yeah. Yeah, that's probably it. 116 00:05:04,674 --> 00:05:06,935 Did you know he owns his own top hat and tails? 117 00:05:07,811 --> 00:05:09,297 - Wow. - Oh, nice. 118 00:05:09,990 --> 00:05:12,486 Maybe we should have told Sue the truth about Brad. 119 00:05:12,877 --> 00:05:13,805 But it was a little hard to do 120 00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:15,761 when Brad didn't even know the truth yet. 121 00:05:17,086 --> 00:05:18,539 Welcome, friends. 122 00:05:19,055 --> 00:05:22,092 Before we begin, please join me in praying 123 00:05:22,153 --> 00:05:25,195 for a member of our congregation-- Melanie Howard. 124 00:05:25,495 --> 00:05:29,991 May she make a quick recovery from her throat polyps. 125 00:05:35,017 --> 00:05:36,663 People talk about the power of prayer. 126 00:05:37,073 --> 00:05:38,077 But there's something to be said 127 00:05:38,137 --> 00:05:40,022 for the power of not prayer as well. 128 00:05:40,171 --> 00:05:43,045 Hey, everybody! I got the solo! Whoo-hoo! 129 00:05:43,046 --> 00:05:44,542 - Hey, that's great! - Yeah, baby! 130 00:05:44,732 --> 00:05:46,852 - Congratulations. - Ohh. 131 00:05:48,708 --> 00:05:51,495 Mike... you put up the tree? 132 00:05:51,496 --> 00:05:53,417 Yep. Took me 20 minutes. 133 00:05:53,418 --> 00:05:55,140 I don't know why it always takes you so long. 134 00:05:55,992 --> 00:05:57,742 But I like putting up the tree. 135 00:05:57,822 --> 00:05:59,728 It's one of my favorite things. 136 00:05:59,729 --> 00:06:01,465 It's something we all do together. 137 00:06:01,931 --> 00:06:03,875 Hey, did everyone break an arm? 138 00:06:03,876 --> 00:06:05,965 How come I'm the only one decorating the tree? 139 00:06:08,304 --> 00:06:09,990 Just think of all the time I saved you. 140 00:06:09,991 --> 00:06:12,300 I should check this off the list. 141 00:06:12,942 --> 00:06:14,779 Tree... check. 142 00:06:15,570 --> 00:06:17,069 I'm kicking Christmas' ass. 143 00:06:17,614 --> 00:06:20,049 Well, Mike was handling Christmas all right. 144 00:06:20,446 --> 00:06:22,680 Problem was he was handling it a little too well. 145 00:06:22,819 --> 00:06:25,541 Mike, why is there a snowman in the front yard? 146 00:06:25,789 --> 00:06:26,582 You're welcome. 147 00:06:27,624 --> 00:06:30,004 But I love making the snowman. 148 00:06:30,039 --> 00:06:31,388 It is my favorite thing, 149 00:06:31,423 --> 00:06:33,334 something we all do together. 150 00:06:34,411 --> 00:06:36,890 In case anybody cares, I just made the damn snowman. 151 00:06:38,868 --> 00:06:40,772 Hey, you said you wanted me to take care of Christmas. 152 00:06:40,807 --> 00:06:42,035 I'm taking care of Christmas. 153 00:06:43,140 --> 00:06:45,272 Hey, Dad! 154 00:06:45,408 --> 00:06:48,006 Major upgrade on the snowman. 155 00:06:48,486 --> 00:06:49,821 Think I might actually wait a few days 156 00:06:49,892 --> 00:06:51,839 before I smash it with my baseball bat. 157 00:06:52,622 --> 00:06:54,064 Thanks, buddy. How's work? 158 00:06:54,517 --> 00:06:57,440 Awesome. My friends came by and called me a seaman. 159 00:06:58,093 --> 00:06:59,564 Livin' the dream. 160 00:07:02,492 --> 00:07:03,448 Brick? 161 00:07:04,504 --> 00:07:06,007 Brick, what are you doing under there? 162 00:07:06,596 --> 00:07:10,009 Looking at the lights, but their beauty just makes me sad. 163 00:07:10,433 --> 00:07:12,029 I know what will get you in the Christmas spirit. 164 00:07:12,030 --> 00:07:13,444 How about a visit with Santa Claus? 165 00:07:13,479 --> 00:07:15,187 Sure. It's worth a shot. 166 00:07:15,538 --> 00:07:18,067 Wait. You're taking him to see Santa? 167 00:07:18,348 --> 00:07:19,405 It's next on my list. 168 00:07:19,607 --> 00:07:20,836 I'm tellin' ya, the way I'm going, 169 00:07:20,897 --> 00:07:22,576 I could have Christmas wrapped up two days early. 170 00:07:22,577 --> 00:07:23,790 I don't know what you're always complaining about. 171 00:07:23,791 --> 00:07:26,760 No, hang on. I'm taking Brick to see Santa. 172 00:07:26,761 --> 00:07:29,300 You can't go doing all the fun stuff, Mike. 173 00:07:29,952 --> 00:07:31,494 I never looked at it that way. 174 00:07:32,719 --> 00:07:35,447 I guess it is all sort of futile, isn't it? 175 00:07:42,298 --> 00:07:44,446 Here, taste this. I want to see if there's enough cinnamon. 176 00:07:44,481 --> 00:07:45,218 Okay. 177 00:07:49,101 --> 00:07:49,890 Don't move. 178 00:07:56,012 --> 00:07:57,314 Your lips are really chapped. 179 00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:01,837 Is that lipstick? 180 00:08:02,529 --> 00:08:04,303 God, why does everybody always ask me that? 181 00:08:04,374 --> 00:08:05,744 It is glossy chapstick. 182 00:08:09,390 --> 00:08:09,893 Hi, kids. 183 00:08:09,944 --> 00:08:11,233 - Hi, Mom. - Hi, Mrs. Heck. 184 00:08:12,261 --> 00:08:14,599 Oh, my God. Mike! 185 00:08:15,473 --> 00:08:16,489 The Christmas village? 186 00:08:16,490 --> 00:08:18,637 I love setting up the Christmas village. 187 00:08:20,943 --> 00:08:23,458 All right, this is chaos. 188 00:08:24,093 --> 00:08:25,010 The guy with the newspaper 189 00:08:25,099 --> 00:08:26,477 is supposed to go in front of the bakery. 190 00:08:26,482 --> 00:08:27,498 You got him lurking around the school 191 00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:28,825 like he's some kind of pedophile. 192 00:08:28,826 --> 00:08:31,028 And look, you got the carolers on the train track-- 193 00:08:31,063 --> 00:08:32,822 like that's gonna end well. 194 00:08:33,473 --> 00:08:34,691 Did you want my help or not? 195 00:08:34,692 --> 00:08:37,059 Well, yes, but I can't leave the house for a second 196 00:08:37,151 --> 00:08:39,628 to go to work or practice without you churning out 197 00:08:39,663 --> 00:08:40,935 some other Christmas tradition. 198 00:08:41,163 --> 00:08:42,930 I just wanted you to do the crummy stuff, you know? 199 00:08:42,931 --> 00:08:44,986 Go to the grocery, stand in line at the post office 200 00:08:45,056 --> 00:08:45,767 for the Christmas stamps. 201 00:08:45,828 --> 00:08:48,106 I don't want you hogging up all the fun stuff. 202 00:08:48,107 --> 00:08:50,813 How am I supposed to know what you think is fun? 203 00:08:50,848 --> 00:08:52,532 Well, okay. You know how there are songs 204 00:08:52,567 --> 00:08:54,436 about decorating a tree or building a snowman? 205 00:08:54,612 --> 00:08:57,496 That's how you know. If it's in a song, don't do it. 206 00:08:57,746 --> 00:09:00,068 So no chestnuts roasting on an open fire. 207 00:09:00,069 --> 00:09:01,611 - No. - No dashing through the snow. 208 00:09:01,663 --> 00:09:03,218 No, that's all out. 209 00:09:03,219 --> 00:09:04,496 Okay, but you know what you can do? 210 00:09:04,853 --> 00:09:07,484 Fix Brick. He is bumming everyone out. 211 00:09:07,519 --> 00:09:09,070 He even brought down Santa. 212 00:09:09,350 --> 00:09:11,224 "Fix Brick." It's on the list. 213 00:09:14,552 --> 00:09:16,015 Ohh. I liked it the other way. 214 00:09:16,287 --> 00:09:17,632 Not a moment too soon, 215 00:09:17,667 --> 00:09:20,334 because Christmas Eve was here, and there was no stopping it. 216 00:09:22,573 --> 00:09:25,757 I have just come from rehearsal, and I can safely say 217 00:09:25,792 --> 00:09:28,952 that I am going to blow the roof off that church tonight. 218 00:09:30,819 --> 00:09:32,584 Hey, Brick! You ready for Santa? 219 00:09:34,738 --> 00:09:35,366 I... 220 00:09:35,852 --> 00:09:37,143 Brick, what's the matter? 221 00:09:53,926 --> 00:09:54,345 Mike. 222 00:09:55,341 --> 00:09:56,895 Why isn't Brick talking? 223 00:09:58,119 --> 00:09:59,916 Yeah, I thought you might ask about that. 224 00:09:59,996 --> 00:10:01,646 I had that little chat with him, 225 00:10:02,014 --> 00:10:03,266 trying to get him out of his funk. 226 00:10:03,917 --> 00:10:05,792 Hey, buddy. We need to talk. 227 00:10:11,940 --> 00:10:12,856 What's going on? 228 00:10:12,955 --> 00:10:14,308 Your mom and I are worried about you. 229 00:10:14,427 --> 00:10:16,212 I'm just a little melancholy. 230 00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:18,936 Melancholy. 231 00:10:19,132 --> 00:10:20,394 When did all this start? 232 00:10:20,867 --> 00:10:22,553 You know that Santa Pez dispenser I got 233 00:10:22,603 --> 00:10:24,680 two years ago, where the candy comes out of his beard? 234 00:10:25,531 --> 00:10:27,363 I just started thinking about how I had it, 235 00:10:27,398 --> 00:10:29,819 and then one day, it was just... gone. 236 00:10:30,126 --> 00:10:32,427 And then I started thinking that someday, you'll be gone, 237 00:10:32,488 --> 00:10:34,637 and I'll be gone and we'll all be gone. 238 00:10:35,114 --> 00:10:37,212 Well, sure. Everybody worries about death. 239 00:10:37,274 --> 00:10:39,702 It's terrifying. But you know what we do? 240 00:10:39,952 --> 00:10:41,578 We shove it out of our minds. 241 00:10:41,921 --> 00:10:43,940 That's why we have books and candy 242 00:10:43,975 --> 00:10:46,371 and water parks and TV. 243 00:10:46,726 --> 00:10:49,740 It's all just a big, old distraction from death. 244 00:10:51,335 --> 00:10:52,663 So all better? 245 00:10:52,999 --> 00:10:53,891 Okay. 246 00:10:54,667 --> 00:10:56,053 Okay. 247 00:10:56,369 --> 00:10:58,326 And then, because he thought he was on a roll, 248 00:10:58,638 --> 00:10:59,739 Mike got greedy. 249 00:11:00,473 --> 00:11:02,866 Oh, and you know, if you keep on whispering to yourself, 250 00:11:02,905 --> 00:11:04,674 Santa's not gonna bring you any presents. 251 00:11:12,084 --> 00:11:13,571 I thought it was worth a shot. 252 00:11:17,501 --> 00:11:19,962 You told Brick Santa wouldn't bring him any presents 253 00:11:20,033 --> 00:11:22,363 if he doesn't stop whispering to himself? 254 00:11:23,076 --> 00:11:23,937 What were you thinking? 255 00:11:24,007 --> 00:11:25,872 Hey, we've used Santa as motivation before-- 256 00:11:26,166 --> 00:11:28,499 It's time to give up pacifiers, potty training, 257 00:11:28,534 --> 00:11:29,520 "Hannah Montana." 258 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:32,026 I thought I could slip the whispering thing in there. 259 00:11:32,282 --> 00:11:34,782 So now Brick's afraid that if he talks at all, he'll whisper, 260 00:11:34,817 --> 00:11:36,921 and then Santa won't come. That's great. 261 00:11:37,173 --> 00:11:39,051 I ask you to fix him, and you busted him. 262 00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:40,538 And you know why? 263 00:11:40,993 --> 00:11:43,494 Because you rushed through it like everything else 264 00:11:43,627 --> 00:11:46,696 just so you could check it off your stupid list. 265 00:11:46,731 --> 00:11:48,250 Hey, I was just trying to help. 266 00:11:48,251 --> 00:11:50,248 I mean, maybe I didn't handle it exactly right, 267 00:11:50,283 --> 00:11:52,198 but while you're off at choir practice, 268 00:11:52,267 --> 00:11:54,399 I'm here busting my butt getting Christmas together, 269 00:11:54,490 --> 00:11:56,074 and let me tell you something. Christmas is... 270 00:12:00,941 --> 00:12:02,666 Christmas is what, Mike? Hmm? 271 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:04,346 Hard? 272 00:12:04,683 --> 00:12:05,385 It's not hard. 273 00:12:06,218 --> 00:12:08,316 Admit it! Christmas is hard. 274 00:12:08,638 --> 00:12:10,694 - It's not hard. - Say it. Say it! 275 00:12:10,729 --> 00:12:13,038 Christmas is stressful and exhausting and horrible. 276 00:12:13,073 --> 00:12:13,983 Say it! 277 00:12:14,018 --> 00:12:16,585 Ah, now it's starting to feel like Christmas. 278 00:12:19,499 --> 00:12:21,638 Great. Now Bob's here to pick me up. 279 00:12:25,069 --> 00:12:27,713 Look, Mike, it's Christmas Eve. 280 00:12:28,214 --> 00:12:30,757 It's my big night. I just-- I don't want to fight. 281 00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:31,425 Me neither. 282 00:12:32,578 --> 00:12:34,488 I know you were trying. I'm sorry. 283 00:12:34,876 --> 00:12:36,895 Okay. You gotta go. You're gonna be great. 284 00:12:37,983 --> 00:12:41,251 Okay, listen up. Everybody has to be there by 11:00 285 00:12:41,286 --> 00:12:42,534 to get a good seat. 286 00:12:43,222 --> 00:12:45,798 And remember, the "I only go at Easter and Christmas" crowd 287 00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:47,558 is gonna be there hogging all the seats. 288 00:12:47,628 --> 00:12:49,686 - So it's gonna be crowded. - We'll be there. 289 00:12:49,979 --> 00:12:50,781 I love you. 290 00:12:50,816 --> 00:12:53,970 Just please be there on time. 291 00:12:54,299 --> 00:12:56,019 Wouldn't miss it for the world. 292 00:13:03,675 --> 00:13:07,354 Oh, sorry, these are saved. It's for my family. 293 00:13:07,389 --> 00:13:08,483 They're on their way. 294 00:13:12,351 --> 00:13:14,919 No, no. You gotta get here early. 295 00:13:15,147 --> 00:13:16,752 You would have known if you came more often. 296 00:13:18,824 --> 00:13:21,212 It's 11:45 on Christmas Eve, 297 00:13:21,247 --> 00:13:21,846 and you're watching 298 00:13:21,916 --> 00:13:23,000 - the log channel. - Oh, no! 299 00:13:23,331 --> 00:13:24,392 - Oh, no! - Merry Christmas. 300 00:13:25,033 --> 00:13:26,513 Sue, Axl, Brick, get up! We're late! 301 00:13:26,765 --> 00:13:29,583 What? Ooh--oh! 302 00:13:29,618 --> 00:13:31,119 Nice, Dad! 303 00:13:31,593 --> 00:13:32,532 Classic. 304 00:13:32,771 --> 00:13:33,847 Oh, no. 305 00:13:34,606 --> 00:13:35,696 Are we gonna miss it? 306 00:13:37,204 --> 00:13:38,584 I'm not dressed for church! 307 00:13:38,619 --> 00:13:41,165 No time. Throw something on, and let's go! Now! 308 00:13:41,467 --> 00:13:43,155 Oh, but what about our present? 309 00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:45,329 Mom always lets us open one present on Christmas Eve. 310 00:13:45,364 --> 00:13:46,649 You can open it when we get back. 311 00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:48,333 Keys. Where are my keys? 312 00:13:48,413 --> 00:13:49,882 But then it won't be Christmas Eve anymore. 313 00:13:49,944 --> 00:13:52,621 - It'll be Christmas day! - But she said... mm! 314 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,607 Grab a present. You can open it in the car. 315 00:13:55,642 --> 00:13:56,626 Just let's move! 316 00:13:58,219 --> 00:13:59,547 There are no tags on these! 317 00:13:59,582 --> 00:14:02,502 Tags wasn't on my list. Just throw 'em all in the car. 318 00:14:02,537 --> 00:14:04,437 We can sort 'em out on the way. Let's just move! 319 00:14:06,161 --> 00:14:07,369 Brick, head for the car! 320 00:14:09,566 --> 00:14:10,589 I'm covered in... 321 00:14:11,510 --> 00:14:12,441 Come on, let's go. 322 00:14:14,747 --> 00:14:17,001 If your mom asks, we couldn't find a parking spot. 323 00:14:19,727 --> 00:14:20,996 This one's for Brick. 324 00:14:22,383 --> 00:14:23,518 Don't get too into that book. 325 00:14:23,519 --> 00:14:25,549 We're all jumping out as soon as we get to the church. 326 00:14:26,806 --> 00:14:28,911 Oh, my god! A cell phone? 327 00:14:29,058 --> 00:14:33,083 - Uh, that's for Axl. - Oh, my God! 328 00:14:33,517 --> 00:14:36,775 Gimme that! This totally doesn't suck. This is awesome. 329 00:14:37,144 --> 00:14:39,074 Ooh. I gotta call Darren. 330 00:14:39,268 --> 00:14:41,293 Uh, not so fast. You can only call your family, 331 00:14:41,364 --> 00:14:42,765 'cause you're on the family plan. 332 00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:44,900 You want to call your friends, you can pay for that yourself. 333 00:14:44,901 --> 00:14:48,029 - You got a job. - Uh... I-I quit that. 334 00:14:48,125 --> 00:14:49,283 You quit your job? Why? 335 00:14:50,467 --> 00:14:52,291 It was interfering with my studies. I don't know. 336 00:14:52,326 --> 00:14:53,066 What do you want to hear? 337 00:14:55,046 --> 00:14:57,143 There's no present here for me. 338 00:14:57,520 --> 00:15:00,161 - Did you even get me anything? - Yes, of course we did! 339 00:15:00,389 --> 00:15:02,424 You got a Rihanna CD and a "Twilight"-- 340 00:15:02,576 --> 00:15:04,326 Well, don't tell me what you got me! 341 00:15:06,917 --> 00:15:08,458 I wish Mom had done Christmas. 342 00:15:08,493 --> 00:15:09,502 Well, get in line. 343 00:15:10,132 --> 00:15:14,163 And let us now rejoice in song. 344 00:15:14,604 --> 00:15:16,492 Can we just hold on the rejoicing 345 00:15:16,527 --> 00:15:18,475 just for one minute? 'Cause of my family. 346 00:15:18,476 --> 00:15:21,172 Listen, can you j-just go tell them they're gonna be here. 347 00:15:21,207 --> 00:15:22,669 - I'm gonna try to... - You can't do this! 348 00:15:22,843 --> 00:15:25,424 My family was supposed to be here at 11:00, 349 00:15:25,459 --> 00:15:26,160 and they said they would come, 350 00:15:26,195 --> 00:15:28,047 but I don't know why they're not here yet. So-- 351 00:15:28,271 --> 00:15:29,508 They said they would be on time. 352 00:15:29,776 --> 00:15:31,774 Is there any way we can just hold for... 353 00:15:32,722 --> 00:15:36,771 ¶ O come, all ye faithful ¶ 354 00:15:36,872 --> 00:15:40,495 ¶ Joyful and triumphant ¶ 355 00:15:40,563 --> 00:15:45,494 ¶ O come ye, o come ye to ¶ 356 00:15:45,529 --> 00:15:49,454 ¶ To Bethlehem ¶ 357 00:15:50,138 --> 00:15:54,124 ¶ Come and behold him ¶ 358 00:15:54,527 --> 00:15:58,074 ¶ Born the king of angels ¶ 359 00:15:58,134 --> 00:16:02,272 ¶ O come let us adore him ¶ 360 00:16:02,307 --> 00:16:06,695 ¶ O come let us adore him ¶ 361 00:16:06,730 --> 00:16:12,014 ¶ O come let us adore him ¶ 362 00:16:12,087 --> 00:16:16,419 ¶ Christ the Lord ¶ 363 00:16:17,753 --> 00:16:19,265 That was beautiful. 364 00:16:19,300 --> 00:16:20,480 Oh, please. 365 00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:27,567 How could you be late? 366 00:16:27,643 --> 00:16:29,098 It was Dad's fault. He fell asleep. 367 00:16:29,513 --> 00:16:32,043 Why is that, Mike? Is it because you were exhausted? 368 00:16:32,078 --> 00:16:34,009 Is it because Christmas is hard? 369 00:16:34,119 --> 00:16:36,155 It's not hard, and we would have been there sooner, 370 00:16:36,213 --> 00:16:37,996 but the kids had to open a gift. 371 00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:40,659 Oh, some gift! I've only got family minutes! 372 00:16:40,690 --> 00:16:41,554 - Why would I ever want to talk... - You know what? 373 00:16:41,633 --> 00:16:42,126 ...to my family? 374 00:16:42,196 --> 00:16:44,738 - The phone is going back anyway. - And you opened a cell phone without me? 375 00:16:45,083 --> 00:16:46,388 - Mike! - He quit his job. 376 00:16:46,468 --> 00:16:47,944 You quit your job? 377 00:16:47,945 --> 00:16:50,875 Oh, do you have any idea how disgusting it is 378 00:16:50,947 --> 00:16:52,193 to have to clean up after other people? 379 00:16:52,263 --> 00:16:53,600 I have some idea, yeah. 380 00:16:53,736 --> 00:16:55,554 Everybody stop yelling! 381 00:16:55,971 --> 00:16:57,309 Yelling. 382 00:16:58,415 --> 00:17:00,570 Oh, no! Oh, no! 383 00:17:00,643 --> 00:17:03,178 Oh, no! Oh, no! 384 00:17:03,245 --> 00:17:06,823 I can't stop! I can't stop! 385 00:17:06,858 --> 00:17:09,321 - See what you did? - What I did? What did I do? 386 00:17:16,492 --> 00:17:18,382 Whoa! 387 00:17:21,266 --> 00:17:23,131 - Nice driving, Dad! - Well, you distracted him! 388 00:17:42,875 --> 00:17:45,332 Beautiful solo, Mom. 389 00:17:47,216 --> 00:17:48,321 Thank you, Sue. 390 00:17:49,725 --> 00:17:51,445 I, uh... 391 00:17:52,323 --> 00:17:53,806 I like my cell phone, Dad. 392 00:17:54,860 --> 00:17:55,808 You're welcome, son. 393 00:17:58,357 --> 00:18:01,196 Frankie, Christmas is hard. 394 00:18:02,592 --> 00:18:03,708 Thank you. 395 00:18:04,230 --> 00:18:06,553 That's all I wanted to hear. 396 00:18:09,178 --> 00:18:10,835 Hey, look what I found-- 397 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,427 My Santa Pez dispenser! 398 00:18:13,549 --> 00:18:15,345 It slid out from underneath the seat 399 00:18:15,380 --> 00:18:19,274 the second time we almost died. It's a Christmas miracle! 400 00:18:19,815 --> 00:18:22,935 So almost dying--twice-- had made the rest of us 401 00:18:22,970 --> 00:18:24,620 start thinking about our own existence. 402 00:18:24,940 --> 00:18:27,973 But for Brick, it made him... stop. 403 00:18:28,859 --> 00:18:30,424 Hey, there's candy in it! 404 00:18:30,633 --> 00:18:32,578 Don't eat that! It's, like, two years... 405 00:18:35,014 --> 00:18:36,255 Go ahead. 406 00:18:37,268 --> 00:18:39,434 Was the 2-year-old Pez dispenser sliding out 407 00:18:39,474 --> 00:18:41,568 from under the dirty, crud-encrusted bottom 408 00:18:41,569 --> 00:18:43,607 of our car seat a Christmas miracle? 409 00:18:44,139 --> 00:18:44,953 Who knows? 410 00:18:45,614 --> 00:18:48,317 I'd like to think yes, 'cause Brick was 411 00:18:48,352 --> 00:18:50,522 the happiest I've ever seen him at Christmas. 412 00:18:51,970 --> 00:18:53,688 No way! 413 00:18:54,046 --> 00:18:57,394 Santa brought me a sparkly bag for my Pez dispenser! 414 00:18:57,526 --> 00:19:01,005 Uh, sorry, buddy. I think you found one of Sue's. 415 00:19:02,998 --> 00:19:07,004 No, it was sweet. But, uh, anyway, I gotta bounce. 416 00:19:07,325 --> 00:19:08,288 Hit me back later. 417 00:19:10,951 --> 00:19:12,462 Oh! Bye, Aunt Edie. 418 00:19:13,806 --> 00:19:16,242 My present was seeing Brick acting normal again-- 419 00:19:16,554 --> 00:19:17,718 Well, Brick normal. 420 00:19:17,719 --> 00:19:19,467 'Cause you really are only as happy 421 00:19:19,527 --> 00:19:20,928 as your least happy kid. 422 00:19:23,566 --> 00:19:26,031 Oh, my God. Oh, my God! 423 00:19:26,808 --> 00:19:27,913 Honey, what's wrong? 424 00:19:28,324 --> 00:19:30,105 I went to Brad's early this morning 425 00:19:30,140 --> 00:19:31,415 to give him his Christmas present, 426 00:19:31,660 --> 00:19:34,638 and I found him out back behind the shed 427 00:19:34,931 --> 00:19:36,252 with another boy! 428 00:19:36,866 --> 00:19:38,903 Uh, hey, Brick? Why don't you go to your room? 429 00:19:39,005 --> 00:19:40,647 Go. Go. 430 00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:44,398 And they were out in the bushes, 431 00:19:44,777 --> 00:19:46,355 and they were taking turns-- 432 00:19:46,390 --> 00:19:48,844 Honey, I am so sorry. We should have said something. 433 00:19:49,186 --> 00:19:51,586 And they were... And they were... 434 00:19:52,081 --> 00:19:53,707 smoking! 435 00:19:57,450 --> 00:19:59,959 - Oh! - Oh! 436 00:20:00,556 --> 00:20:02,134 Wait. You knew? 437 00:20:02,691 --> 00:20:04,260 You knew he was a smoker? 438 00:20:04,694 --> 00:20:06,338 We had our suspicions. 439 00:20:06,996 --> 00:20:09,738 I'll bet that's why he didn't kiss you. 440 00:20:09,798 --> 00:20:12,469 He didn't want you to notice his smoker's breath. 441 00:20:12,501 --> 00:20:14,445 Oh, yeah. 442 00:20:15,635 --> 00:20:17,962 Well, there's no way I'm gonna date him now. 443 00:20:18,865 --> 00:20:20,599 And I really, really liked him, too. 444 00:20:20,634 --> 00:20:22,271 Oh, come here, baby. 445 00:20:23,661 --> 00:20:25,340 Maybe I can get him to quit? 446 00:20:28,262 --> 00:20:29,832 I wouldn't count on it, honey. 447 00:20:30,614 --> 00:20:31,200 Come on. 448 00:20:32,788 --> 00:20:35,596 "Don't get me wrong. Christmas is hard. 449 00:20:35,939 --> 00:20:37,315 "But no matter how stressed you are, 450 00:20:37,375 --> 00:20:39,514 "the 25th rolls around, and it's great 451 00:20:39,575 --> 00:20:41,609 "and wonderful and the best Christmas ever. 452 00:20:42,390 --> 00:20:44,522 "It's like giving birth-- you forget the pain, 453 00:20:44,612 --> 00:20:46,435 "and can't wait to do it again next year. 454 00:20:47,810 --> 00:20:50,305 Happy holidays. Love, the Hecks." 455 00:20:50,324 --> 00:20:52,744 Sync and Edits: VeRdiKT [Subscene.com / Addic7ed.com] 456 00:20:52,794 --> 00:20:57,344 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 34550

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