Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,727 --> 00:00:02,928
I put in my time, paid my dues,now I got a shot to ref
2
00:00:02,996 --> 00:00:04,974
in the big leagues.
KEVIN: Really?
3
00:00:05,094 --> 00:00:06,427
Community college.
Wow, Pete,
4
00:00:06,495 --> 00:00:07,495
way to go. You're
really breaking through
5
00:00:07,563 --> 00:00:08,596
that striped ceiling.
6
00:00:08,664 --> 00:00:09,797
I got to be on my "A" game, man.
7
00:00:09,865 --> 00:00:11,132
These guys don't mess around.
8
00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:12,367
Gonna go practice my moves
in the mirror.
9
00:00:12,434 --> 00:00:14,168
I've been noticing
that my double dribble signs
10
00:00:14,236 --> 00:00:15,503
have been looking like bongos.
11
00:00:15,571 --> 00:00:17,138
It's sloppy.
Gentlemen.
12
00:00:17,206 --> 00:00:18,339
I've got a big
announcement to make.
13
00:00:18,407 --> 00:00:20,174
Pete, you're gonna
want to stick around for this.
14
00:00:20,242 --> 00:00:21,910
Agree to disagree.
15
00:00:21,977 --> 00:00:24,112
Uh...
I've made a big decision.
16
00:00:24,179 --> 00:00:25,613
You're gonna want to hear this.
I'm retiring
17
00:00:25,681 --> 00:00:28,182
from sex due to concussions.
18
00:00:28,250 --> 00:00:29,290
What are you saying?
I know
19
00:00:29,351 --> 00:00:30,551
a lot of football players
are retiring
20
00:00:30,619 --> 00:00:32,299
due to head trauma,
and I feel the same way
21
00:00:32,321 --> 00:00:34,255
about sexual intercourse.
22
00:00:34,323 --> 00:00:36,758
Why are you getting concussions during sex?
Oh, Kevin.
23
00:00:36,825 --> 00:00:38,393
Your sex life is so sad.
24
00:00:38,460 --> 00:00:40,028
Taco, sex is arguably
25
00:00:40,095 --> 00:00:41,863
the only thing you're good at.
Trust me,
26
00:00:41,931 --> 00:00:44,565
I love the game. But I got
to protect the old noggin.
27
00:00:44,633 --> 00:00:46,534
What-what are you doing?
Ladies,
28
00:00:46,602 --> 00:00:49,304
listen up.
I regret to inform you
29
00:00:49,371 --> 00:00:52,273
that I will not be able
to have sex with you tonight.
30
00:00:52,341 --> 00:00:54,542
I'm retiring from sex.
31
00:00:54,610 --> 00:00:56,678
So, aside from
the occasional morning wood,
32
00:00:56,745 --> 00:00:59,714
this penis shall remain flaccid.
33
00:00:59,782 --> 00:01:02,317
However, if you are interested
in two minutes of missionary
34
00:01:02,384 --> 00:01:05,119
or some creepy spooning with no penetration...
No.
35
00:01:05,187 --> 00:01:07,522
...please feel free
to talk to my friends over here.
36
00:01:07,589 --> 00:01:09,524
Get off the bar!
What is wrong with you?
37
00:01:09,591 --> 00:01:11,225
What are you gonna do with
all your free time now?
38
00:01:11,293 --> 00:01:12,493
Well, first things first--
39
00:01:12,561 --> 00:01:14,262
I'm gonna throw
a retirement party.
40
00:01:14,330 --> 00:01:16,164
Bartender, shots.
(whoops)
41
00:01:16,231 --> 00:01:17,332
Let's celebate.
42
00:01:17,399 --> 00:01:18,967
What... Celebate?
43
00:01:19,034 --> 00:01:20,301
Celebrate celibacy.
You know what, Taco,
44
00:01:20,369 --> 00:01:21,803
I'm proud of you.
Putting your mental health
45
00:01:21,870 --> 00:01:23,037
in front of everything else.
46
00:01:23,105 --> 00:01:25,006
Thank you.
Let's get wasted.
47
00:01:25,074 --> 00:01:26,341
(laughs)
There it is.
48
00:01:26,408 --> 00:01:30,726
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
49
00:01:30,846 --> 00:01:32,246
SOFIA: It's just a little
mommy makeover down there
50
00:01:32,314 --> 00:01:36,050
so that when I get home,
everything is extra special.
51
00:01:36,118 --> 00:01:38,786
I'm not entirely comfortable
with a Puerto Rican doctor
52
00:01:38,854 --> 00:01:42,023
staring at your sweet "V,"
but I don't mind the results.
53
00:01:42,091 --> 00:01:44,359
It's really no big deal.
54
00:01:44,426 --> 00:01:46,160
Aw, Jesuchristo.
I did it--
55
00:01:46,228 --> 00:01:48,229
I did it after I had Sofia.
Mami...
56
00:01:48,297 --> 00:01:50,999
Wish you'd had it sealed up
entirely before you had Rafi.
57
00:01:51,066 --> 00:01:52,633
Ma, please. It's gonna feel better.
Supple, more s...
58
00:01:52,701 --> 00:01:54,168
Mami, please, shh, shh.
I get it!
59
00:01:54,236 --> 00:01:55,603
Mom...
I just have to make sure you know
60
00:01:55,671 --> 00:01:57,538
it's gonna be tighter. (groans)
61
00:01:57,606 --> 00:01:59,273
KEVIN:
How psyched are you guys
62
00:01:59,341 --> 00:02:00,908
for the series finaleof The Block?
63
00:02:00,976 --> 00:02:03,745
Not at all. I don't watch that show.
Neither do I.
64
00:02:03,812 --> 00:02:05,680
How can you not watch the show?
Seven years.
65
00:02:05,748 --> 00:02:07,949
We have been
watching it from episode one,
66
00:02:08,017 --> 00:02:09,584
back before Netflix.
67
00:02:09,651 --> 00:02:11,119
KEVIN: Yeah, during the commercials...
Ah, ah, ah-- listening to people
68
00:02:11,186 --> 00:02:12,720
talk about a show
you don't watch
69
00:02:12,788 --> 00:02:14,122
is like listening
to people talk about
70
00:02:14,189 --> 00:02:15,523
a fantasy league you're not in.
71
00:02:15,591 --> 00:02:17,625
Maybe I should start
watching this stupid show.
72
00:02:17,693 --> 00:02:19,527
Now that I'm retired,
I got plenty of time.
73
00:02:19,595 --> 00:02:22,230
I need to start wasting
my life away like you guys.
74
00:02:22,297 --> 00:02:23,631
You're retired?
Yup.
75
00:02:23,699 --> 00:02:25,533
Threw in the old come towel.
Ew.
76
00:02:25,601 --> 00:02:27,535
KEVIN: What are you
gonna do all day, Taco?
77
00:02:27,603 --> 00:02:29,237
Well, it's important to spread
the word about the dangers
78
00:02:29,304 --> 00:02:31,973
of sex. Maybe my story
can help save someone else.
79
00:02:32,041 --> 00:02:33,741
Dangers of sex?
You wear a condom.
80
00:02:33,809 --> 00:02:36,277
Whoa, whoa, whoa, you don't want
to kill a fly with a shotgun.
81
00:02:36,345 --> 00:02:37,912
Plus, a condom's
not gonna protect you
82
00:02:37,980 --> 00:02:39,213
against a cockcussion.
83
00:02:39,281 --> 00:02:40,815
Okay, Les Welker.
84
00:02:40,883 --> 00:02:44,018
Womp, bam, bam,
bam-bam, bam, bow.
85
00:02:44,086 --> 00:02:45,353
Guess who got laid last night.
86
00:02:45,421 --> 00:02:47,755
The guy who plays Khal Drogo?
Maybe, but I
87
00:02:47,823 --> 00:02:49,924
also had my own Game of Bones.
88
00:02:49,992 --> 00:02:52,660
Let's just say all the girls
came down to my King's Landing.
89
00:02:52,728 --> 00:02:54,195
Oh, God, Andre. Aw.
PETE: Okay.
90
00:02:54,263 --> 00:02:55,563
I know you're all
dying for details,
91
00:02:55,631 --> 00:02:57,131
but a gentleman never tells.
92
00:02:57,199 --> 00:02:59,319
PETE: Fair enough.
But fortunately for you, last night
93
00:02:59,334 --> 00:03:01,869
was no night for a gentleman.
94
00:03:01,937 --> 00:03:03,271
So I was hangingwith my bros, you know,
95
00:03:03,338 --> 00:03:04,472
the T to the O and MacArth Vader
96
00:03:04,540 --> 00:03:06,674
Andre, you are the best!
97
00:03:06,742 --> 00:03:08,843
Andre, your jokes are so funny.
98
00:03:08,911 --> 00:03:10,645
ANDRE:
And I had to bid them adieu.
99
00:03:10,712 --> 00:03:12,580
Guys, I got
one thing to say to you.
100
00:03:12,648 --> 00:03:14,482
Hasta la vista, baby.
101
00:03:14,550 --> 00:03:16,184
(imitating gunshots) Oh, oh, no!
Oh!
102
00:03:16,251 --> 00:03:18,019
(laughing)
103
00:03:20,322 --> 00:03:22,056
KEVIN:
No way.
104
00:03:22,124 --> 00:03:23,591
That's not what happened at all.
105
00:03:23,659 --> 00:03:25,526
Hasta le vista, baby.
106
00:03:25,594 --> 00:03:27,462
BOTH:
(bleep) you.
107
00:03:27,529 --> 00:03:29,664
Schwarzenegger.
Terminator. Guys...
108
00:03:29,731 --> 00:03:31,299
KEVIN:
Yeah, choke on it.
109
00:03:31,366 --> 00:03:32,967
ANDRE:
I was too drunk to drive home,
110
00:03:33,035 --> 00:03:35,403
so I called an Uber.I slid in
111
00:03:35,471 --> 00:03:37,071
and let the games begin.
112
00:03:37,139 --> 00:03:39,173
I mean, The Hunger Games
113
00:03:39,241 --> 00:03:41,709
parody movie, The Sex Games.
114
00:03:41,777 --> 00:03:43,478
We were just havingthis witty back and forth.
115
00:03:43,545 --> 00:03:45,880
Oh, my gosh, I like your cap.
I got a cap.
116
00:03:45,948 --> 00:03:47,882
You've got great taste in general.
Eh.
117
00:03:47,950 --> 00:03:49,990
I feel like I could just
talk to you about anything.
118
00:03:50,018 --> 00:03:51,319
Ah...
We're, like, on the same page.
119
00:03:51,386 --> 00:03:52,920
Like, we're on the level.
120
00:03:52,988 --> 00:03:54,188
You know what I mean?
Like, we're there,
121
00:03:54,256 --> 00:03:55,790
together, right now.
Wait, what?
122
00:03:55,858 --> 00:03:57,758
So I decided to make my move.
123
00:03:57,826 --> 00:03:59,227
Let me tell you something.
124
00:03:59,294 --> 00:04:02,230
"People are people."
125
00:04:02,297 --> 00:04:04,365
Depeche Mode.
126
00:04:04,433 --> 00:04:05,666
(sneezes)
127
00:04:05,734 --> 00:04:08,002
(groans)
128
00:04:08,070 --> 00:04:10,271
One thing leads to the next,
and... (blows raspberry)
129
00:04:10,339 --> 00:04:11,272
Oh, God.
130
00:04:11,340 --> 00:04:13,107
You totally get me.
131
00:04:13,175 --> 00:04:15,209
What? What are you doing?
Come to mama.
132
00:04:15,277 --> 00:04:17,178
(grunting)
You're mine!
133
00:04:17,246 --> 00:04:19,113
ANDRE:
We're getting sloppy.
134
00:04:19,181 --> 00:04:21,115
Reason why you should
never get cloth seats--
135
00:04:21,183 --> 00:04:22,683
leather. Easier to...
(clicks tongue)
136
00:04:22,751 --> 00:04:24,152
...clean.
(Kevin groans)
137
00:04:24,219 --> 00:04:25,520
Is this is a one-night stand?
138
00:04:25,587 --> 00:04:27,822
Aah, aah, aah! Yes!
You bet it is, baby!
139
00:04:27,890 --> 00:04:29,457
I've never done this before.
Aah!
140
00:04:29,525 --> 00:04:31,125
This is so cool!
141
00:04:31,193 --> 00:04:32,860
Take me from behind!
What? What?
142
00:04:32,928 --> 00:04:35,129
You are like
a better-dressed,
143
00:04:35,197 --> 00:04:37,298
more street-smart
Steve Harvey!
144
00:04:37,366 --> 00:04:39,834
Really?
That's what I was going for!
145
00:04:39,902 --> 00:04:41,302
Get in my hole!
146
00:04:41,370 --> 00:04:44,205
(whooping, screaming)
(honking)
147
00:04:44,273 --> 00:04:45,673
Yes, yes!
Yes!
148
00:04:45,741 --> 00:04:47,341
(growls):
Yes!
149
00:04:47,409 --> 00:04:49,143
Andre was on top form.
150
00:04:49,211 --> 00:04:51,512
If she was rating me,
she'd give me five stars.
151
00:04:51,580 --> 00:04:53,381
And I would give her four.
152
00:04:53,448 --> 00:04:55,449
Wait, why would you give
her a four-star review?
153
00:04:55,517 --> 00:04:56,651
I didn't like
the route she took.
154
00:04:56,718 --> 00:04:58,619
I felt it was
a little circuitous.
155
00:05:02,275 --> 00:05:04,210
Oh, man.
156
00:05:04,277 --> 00:05:07,413
Yeah. Nice gym.
157
00:05:07,481 --> 00:05:08,547
MAN: Short bursts...
(imitates whistle)
158
00:05:08,615 --> 00:05:09,815
About the infraction.
Long bursts...
159
00:05:09,883 --> 00:05:11,851
(imitates whistle)
Then it becomes about you.
160
00:05:11,918 --> 00:05:13,986
Hey, new guy.
161
00:05:14,054 --> 00:05:15,955
Hey. Hey, Pete Eckhart.
Dave.
162
00:05:16,022 --> 00:05:17,823
Dave, nice to meet you,
Dave. Pete Eckhart.
163
00:05:17,891 --> 00:05:20,226
My name's Pete.
Uh, Pete.
164
00:05:20,293 --> 00:05:22,027
So...
165
00:05:22,095 --> 00:05:24,764
Right on. You guys must
be big sports nuts, huh?
166
00:05:24,831 --> 00:05:25,831
You guys into fantasy?
167
00:05:25,899 --> 00:05:28,000
(chuckles) Fantasy?
Like Peter Pan?
168
00:05:28,068 --> 00:05:29,402
You know what I'm really into?
169
00:05:29,469 --> 00:05:31,203
Controlling
a young man's destiny
170
00:05:31,271 --> 00:05:33,539
with the blow of a whistle.
In reality.
171
00:05:33,607 --> 00:05:34,907
With real people.
Well,
172
00:05:34,975 --> 00:05:36,041
we'll see you out there.
Okay.
173
00:05:36,109 --> 00:05:38,677
Good talk,
good talking to you guys.
174
00:05:38,745 --> 00:05:41,280
Wrapping it up.
Oh, man, it's gonna be amazing.
175
00:05:41,348 --> 00:05:42,848
I've been waiting seven years
176
00:05:42,916 --> 00:05:44,517
for the final episode of...
177
00:05:44,584 --> 00:05:46,452
BOTH:
The Block!
178
00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:48,354
(laughing)
179
00:05:48,422 --> 00:05:49,755
Tell me about it.
Oh, my gosh...
180
00:05:49,823 --> 00:05:51,757
You guys, uh, fans of The Block?
181
00:05:51,825 --> 00:05:53,793
Yeah!
You like The Block?
182
00:05:53,860 --> 00:05:56,862
I am the biggest fan.
I have seen every episode.
183
00:05:56,930 --> 00:05:58,764
Oh, my God.
Shut up. In fact,
184
00:05:58,832 --> 00:06:00,032
I was watching
before it was on Netflix.
185
00:06:00,100 --> 00:06:01,367
I got all my friends into it.
186
00:06:01,435 --> 00:06:03,035
Started in season one,
and then, um...
187
00:06:03,103 --> 00:06:04,236
Let him know, let him know!
188
00:06:04,304 --> 00:06:05,671
I don't know.
Oh!
189
00:06:05,739 --> 00:06:07,006
Bam!
190
00:06:07,073 --> 00:06:10,576
Right, 'cause that
guy's on The Block.
191
00:06:10,644 --> 00:06:12,812
Agent Baker is my spirit animal.
He shaped, really,
192
00:06:12,879 --> 00:06:14,980
my whole essence as a man.
I watched the show
193
00:06:15,048 --> 00:06:16,649
all the way through three times,
194
00:06:16,716 --> 00:06:19,518
and then I realized,
"What if I watch it backwards?"
195
00:06:19,586 --> 00:06:22,254
- No way. - I've been going forward, looking
for Easter eggs. I didn't
196
00:06:22,322 --> 00:06:25,424
think of going backwards, looking
for egg Easters. Ideally, you would
197
00:06:25,492 --> 00:06:28,093
synch it up with the second half
of Dark Side of the Moon
198
00:06:28,161 --> 00:06:30,763
- and Wizard of Oz playing
in the background. - Shut your hole.
199
00:06:30,831 --> 00:06:32,152
What are you doing
for the finale?
200
00:06:32,165 --> 00:06:33,866
Uh, you know, I was
just gonna, you know...
201
00:06:33,934 --> 00:06:35,067
I know where you're watching it.
202
00:06:35,135 --> 00:06:36,202
I do, too!
Here.
203
00:06:36,269 --> 00:06:37,403
With us!
204
00:06:37,471 --> 00:06:39,472
You're gonna share
your theories.
205
00:06:39,539 --> 00:06:40,739
You've gone further
down the rabbit hole
206
00:06:40,807 --> 00:06:42,241
than anyone we hang out with.
207
00:06:42,309 --> 00:06:45,377
I am incredibly far
down the rabbit hole.
208
00:06:45,445 --> 00:06:48,314
209
00:06:48,381 --> 00:06:49,882
Oh, that Uber is quick.
210
00:06:51,885 --> 00:06:53,686
Hey. I am just going to...
211
00:06:53,753 --> 00:06:56,121
Hey, Andre.
Good to see you.
212
00:06:56,189 --> 00:06:59,325
- Hey. - Do you want a drink? I brought
you a little champagne.
213
00:06:59,392 --> 00:07:01,026
A little champers.
214
00:07:01,094 --> 00:07:03,229
Uh, I don't know if I should
actually be drinking.
215
00:07:03,296 --> 00:07:04,563
Cheers. (laughs)
Wait.
216
00:07:04,631 --> 00:07:06,632
You jus... Wait. Whoa! Hey!
(tires squeak)
217
00:07:06,700 --> 00:07:08,100
Are you supposed
to be drinking and driving?
218
00:07:08,168 --> 00:07:09,768
Good one.
219
00:07:09,836 --> 00:07:11,937
Oh, my God, it's so
good to see you again.
220
00:07:12,005 --> 00:07:13,672
Thanks for calling.
It was random,
221
00:07:13,740 --> 00:07:15,708
I imagine, you know, 'cause I
just hit the button, you know...
222
00:07:15,775 --> 00:07:17,243
I've been thinking so
much about what you said
223
00:07:17,310 --> 00:07:18,511
last night.
224
00:07:18,578 --> 00:07:20,946
I feel like we really connected.
Do you?
225
00:07:21,014 --> 00:07:22,348
We did have a connection.
226
00:07:22,415 --> 00:07:25,618
It was a great, intense...
one-night
227
00:07:25,685 --> 00:07:26,885
connection, you know, and I...
228
00:07:26,887 --> 00:07:28,087
Men are pigs.
229
00:07:28,154 --> 00:07:29,455
You know that, right?
230
00:07:29,523 --> 00:07:30,990
(laughs)
It's like, I cannot
231
00:07:31,057 --> 00:07:33,526
tell you the number of men
that have picked me up
232
00:07:33,593 --> 00:07:35,461
in this Uber because I'm so hot,
233
00:07:35,529 --> 00:07:38,264
and they just want me for my
holes-- each and every hole.
234
00:07:38,331 --> 00:07:40,566
And it's like, "Buddy, my
holes are tired." You know?
235
00:07:40,634 --> 00:07:42,268
We hit it off, and then,
the next thing you know,
236
00:07:42,335 --> 00:07:43,469
it's, like, "Claire,
stop calling here."
237
00:07:43,537 --> 00:07:44,503
"Claire, stop
talking to my wife."
238
00:07:44,571 --> 00:07:45,804
"Claire, get off my lawn."
239
00:07:45,872 --> 00:07:47,339
"Claire, stop picking
my kids up from school."
240
00:07:47,407 --> 00:07:48,941
But I'm, like, "What about me?
241
00:07:49,009 --> 00:07:51,443
I need someone to check me out
of this hospital!"
242
00:07:51,511 --> 00:07:53,746
243
00:07:53,813 --> 00:07:55,681
You're different.
244
00:07:55,749 --> 00:07:57,383
Yeah.
245
00:07:57,450 --> 00:07:59,385
(both laugh, Andre rattles door)
Child locks.
246
00:07:59,452 --> 00:08:01,186
(laughs)
247
00:08:01,254 --> 00:08:02,955
PETE:
So, if I
248
00:08:03,023 --> 00:08:05,090
show up to watch the finale
with these guys,
249
00:08:05,158 --> 00:08:07,026
not knowing what happened,
I'm gonna be barred
250
00:08:07,093 --> 00:08:08,694
from the whole
community college ref world.
251
00:08:08,762 --> 00:08:11,330
As ultimate fans of The
Block, would you guys kind of
252
00:08:11,398 --> 00:08:14,366
give me a little rundown,
kind of so I can fake it?
253
00:08:14,434 --> 00:08:16,468
Why?!
Why would you want to fake it?
254
00:08:16,536 --> 00:08:19,071
You are missing
a cultural experience.
255
00:08:19,139 --> 00:08:21,259
If it's so good, why is it
ending after seven seasons?
256
00:08:21,274 --> 00:08:22,508
I don't know.
Please.
257
00:08:22,576 --> 00:08:23,709
Just a small recap.
258
00:08:23,777 --> 00:08:25,177
So, in a nutshell,
259
00:08:25,245 --> 00:08:29,281
a futuristic noir detective show
placed in an alternate L.A.
260
00:08:29,349 --> 00:08:31,069
But we see everything
through a time schism.
261
00:08:31,117 --> 00:08:32,384
But you don't
262
00:08:32,452 --> 00:08:33,852
find that out till season two.
You know, that's...
263
00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:35,120
Yeah, so, spoiler alert.
Spoiler alert.
264
00:08:35,188 --> 00:08:36,355
First of all,
I don't know what a schism is.
265
00:08:36,423 --> 00:08:37,790
Second of all, spoil me.
266
00:08:37,857 --> 00:08:40,125
Alert me.
Time schisms are very, very important.
267
00:08:40,193 --> 00:08:41,627
I think
the whole thing's a time schism.
268
00:08:41,695 --> 00:08:43,262
I think it's all going
through Agent Baker's mind.
269
00:08:43,330 --> 00:08:44,330
Baker. Great.
Tell me about Baker.
270
00:08:44,397 --> 00:08:46,398
Oh, he's dreamy.
271
00:08:46,466 --> 00:08:48,734
He's also a total drime head.
What is drime?
272
00:08:48,802 --> 00:08:49,802
It's like a futuristic heroin.
KEVIN: Yeah.
273
00:08:49,869 --> 00:08:51,036
Why not call it heroin?
274
00:08:51,104 --> 00:08:52,271
(laughs)
Because it's drime.
275
00:08:52,339 --> 00:08:54,707
He's part of this agency.
It's very corrupt.
276
00:08:54,774 --> 00:08:56,075
So Wonder Well Corporation
277
00:08:56,142 --> 00:08:57,876
has created androids
278
00:08:57,944 --> 00:08:59,664
to keep an eye
on all of these corrupt cops.
279
00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:01,313
And his android is L.E.
280
00:09:01,381 --> 00:09:02,848
Oh, "Ellie" like your daughter.
281
00:09:02,916 --> 00:09:05,017
"L.E." Not "Ellie."
L...
282
00:09:05,085 --> 00:09:06,352
She's an android.
L.E.'s a girl?
283
00:09:06,419 --> 00:09:07,620
Yes, they're all flesh jobs.
It's not the point.
284
00:09:07,687 --> 00:09:09,388
What's a "flesh job"?
The point is...
285
00:09:09,456 --> 00:09:11,523
It's an android!
...that Baker can't have sex with an android.
286
00:09:11,591 --> 00:09:13,192
But...
And I've been telling you this for years.
287
00:09:13,259 --> 00:09:15,661
And you can...
No. He can have sex with L.E. Prime.
288
00:09:15,729 --> 00:09:18,664
How do you tell the difference
between L.E. and L.E. Prime?
289
00:09:18,732 --> 00:09:19,865
The accent.
Yeah, the accent.
290
00:09:19,933 --> 00:09:21,233
It's a different accent.
291
00:09:21,301 --> 00:09:22,234
Oh, of course.
I should have known.
292
00:09:22,302 --> 00:09:23,369
Ruben is his boss.
293
00:09:23,436 --> 00:09:25,304
He's bad, he's a really bad guy.
294
00:09:25,372 --> 00:09:27,072
But he wasn't bad in season one.
295
00:09:27,140 --> 00:09:29,108
Ruben is also in
with the Supplement.
296
00:09:29,175 --> 00:09:30,256
Kevin, it's the Settlement.
297
00:09:30,310 --> 00:09:31,710
The Settlement.
The Settlement. Sorry.
298
00:09:31,778 --> 00:09:34,213
Settlement took Baker's kid
Reggie.
299
00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:35,748
KEVIN: No! Reggie's
back with Baker.
300
00:09:35,815 --> 00:09:37,383
Kevin, that was a flashback!
301
00:09:37,450 --> 00:09:39,084
It was a schism within a schism.
Oh.
302
00:09:39,152 --> 00:09:40,452
You can have a schism
within a schism?
303
00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:41,787
Of course there can be
a schism within a schism.
304
00:09:41,855 --> 00:09:43,188
Double schism.
It's the future.
305
00:09:43,256 --> 00:09:46,091
You guys are the worst
show recappers ever.
306
00:09:46,159 --> 00:09:47,393
This could not be
more complicated.
307
00:09:47,460 --> 00:09:49,094
I don't know how we
could make it more simple.
308
00:09:49,162 --> 00:09:51,330
This is great. Now I have
to watch seven seasons
309
00:09:51,398 --> 00:09:53,432
of this ridiculous
television show
310
00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:55,367
just so I can impress
these goddamn refs.
311
00:09:55,435 --> 00:09:56,535
I mean, shit!
312
00:09:56,603 --> 00:09:58,037
Sint!
Sint!
313
00:09:58,104 --> 00:09:59,705
(laughing) Sint.
Sint!
314
00:09:59,773 --> 00:10:01,540
What is "sint?"
It's their cursing.
315
00:10:01,608 --> 00:10:03,609
You know what? I got to say,
that was a pretty sinty recap.
316
00:10:03,677 --> 00:10:04,877
Oh, you have a
pretty sinty attitude.
317
00:10:04,944 --> 00:10:07,513
Oh, thank God I made it.
Whoa.
318
00:10:07,580 --> 00:10:09,381
Did she follow me?
KEVIN: Well, if by "she," you mean
319
00:10:09,449 --> 00:10:11,283
your cologne, then, yes,
she did, and she's disgusting.
320
00:10:11,351 --> 00:10:12,618
My Uber driver is stalking me.
321
00:10:12,686 --> 00:10:14,386
The one I had
the one-night stand with.
322
00:10:14,454 --> 00:10:15,688
She's a psycho.
323
00:10:15,755 --> 00:10:16,922
Right, wherever I go,
she's there.
324
00:10:16,990 --> 00:10:19,024
How about just take
a different Uber?
325
00:10:19,092 --> 00:10:21,326
She'd kill my rating. She's the
only one that will pick me up.
326
00:10:21,394 --> 00:10:22,494
ANNOUNCER: On the series
finale of The Block...
327
00:10:22,562 --> 00:10:23,462
Oh.
Oh! Oh!
328
00:10:23,530 --> 00:10:24,596
Look at this!
Oh, yes!
329
00:10:24,664 --> 00:10:25,964
Under both our skins
330
00:10:26,032 --> 00:10:27,533
is a series
of complex organisms.
331
00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:28,534
What is this?
332
00:10:28,601 --> 00:10:30,102
This is awesome.
333
00:10:30,170 --> 00:10:32,604
Oh, sint, they're up to
their old tricks again.
334
00:10:32,672 --> 00:10:35,174
The recreational device
belonging to your son?
335
00:10:35,241 --> 00:10:36,709
BAKER: Reggie.
That's his son!
336
00:10:36,776 --> 00:10:38,477
His name is Reggie.
337
00:10:38,545 --> 00:10:40,446
Yeah, I'm a drime head.
JENNY: Oh!
338
00:10:40,513 --> 00:10:41,780
Oh, God, he's hit the drime!
339
00:10:41,848 --> 00:10:43,816
At least I can still feel
something.
340
00:10:43,883 --> 00:10:44,817
He can feel something.
341
00:10:44,884 --> 00:10:46,151
The time schism.
342
00:10:46,219 --> 00:10:47,886
We need to jump
before it closes.
343
00:10:47,954 --> 00:10:49,321
Where are we gonna watch
the last episode?
344
00:10:49,389 --> 00:10:50,155
We got to do it right.
345
00:10:50,223 --> 00:10:51,090
It has to be big
346
00:10:51,157 --> 00:10:52,725
and special-- not here.
347
00:10:52,792 --> 00:10:53,992
ANDRE:
At my house-- I got the Curve.
348
00:10:54,060 --> 00:10:56,328
No, special.
KEVIN: She said special, not stupid.
349
00:10:56,396 --> 00:10:57,396
BAKER:
Math class is over.
350
00:10:57,430 --> 00:10:58,397
(Jenny, Kevin and Andre moaning)
351
00:10:58,465 --> 00:10:59,698
PETE:
If you guys want,
352
00:10:59,766 --> 00:11:01,600
the refs are throwing
this big viewing party.
353
00:11:01,668 --> 00:11:02,868
A viewing.
JENNY AND KEVIN: A Block party!
354
00:11:02,936 --> 00:11:04,536
ALL:
The Settlement provides.
355
00:11:04,604 --> 00:11:06,438
The Settlement provides.
The Settlement
356
00:11:06,506 --> 00:11:07,706
provides.
357
00:11:07,774 --> 00:11:09,775
Can I come in costume?
Can I stop you?
358
00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:11,543
No!
359
00:11:17,044 --> 00:11:18,204
What the hell?
360
00:11:18,331 --> 00:11:20,599
Somebody popped my tires.
361
00:11:20,667 --> 00:11:22,167
(horn honking loudly)
362
00:11:22,235 --> 00:11:24,231
Hey, baby doll.
You need a lift?
363
00:11:24,335 --> 00:11:27,237
No, no, I'm-I'm okay. I'm okay.
364
00:11:27,305 --> 00:11:28,471
Where you going?
365
00:11:28,539 --> 00:11:30,207
Oh, is this cat and mouse?
I love this!
366
00:11:30,274 --> 00:11:32,142
BAKER (on TV): Damn it, L.E.,
I don't need a lecture!
367
00:11:32,210 --> 00:11:35,078
(L.E. speaking indistinctly) I
need a friend, and right now.
368
00:11:35,146 --> 00:11:37,914
Okay, that's L.E.,
that's L.E. Prime.
369
00:11:37,982 --> 00:11:39,516
L.E.'s clearing trying
to sint Baker,
370
00:11:39,584 --> 00:11:41,518
but she can't because
she's a flesh job. Got it.
371
00:11:41,586 --> 00:11:43,320
Or can she?
'Cause these flesh jobs
372
00:11:43,387 --> 00:11:45,222
are clearly sinting.
Friend?
373
00:11:45,289 --> 00:11:46,923
I mean, they're just sinting
all over each other.
374
00:11:46,991 --> 00:11:48,858
Which L.E. are you?
It's me.
375
00:11:48,926 --> 00:11:50,327
It's not me.
376
00:11:50,394 --> 00:11:51,695
PETE:
What?! No.
377
00:11:51,762 --> 00:11:52,963
No way.
378
00:11:53,030 --> 00:11:55,398
Oh, my... I'm sorry.
I'm such a drime head.
379
00:11:55,466 --> 00:11:57,067
Baker's this close
to finding the Settlement.
380
00:11:57,134 --> 00:11:59,803
Sint!
Why do you say "sint"? Just say "shit"!
381
00:11:59,870 --> 00:12:01,571
You don't have to be coy about it.
After Grandy
382
00:12:01,639 --> 00:12:03,173
became Councilman Elect,
he ordered
383
00:12:03,241 --> 00:12:05,208
Wonder Well
to clean up the system.
384
00:12:05,276 --> 00:12:07,043
What's going on with
Ruben? Is he turning?!
385
00:12:07,111 --> 00:12:08,478
RUBEN (laughing): Hey.
I mean, oh, maybe
386
00:12:08,546 --> 00:12:10,580
he's just protecting them.
Look at that face! Look!
387
00:12:10,648 --> 00:12:12,048
(flushing)
388
00:12:12,116 --> 00:12:13,750
You're not gonna wash
your hands, man?
389
00:12:13,818 --> 00:12:15,885
What's wrong with you?
390
00:12:15,953 --> 00:12:17,220
Bye-bye, Baker.
391
00:12:17,288 --> 00:12:18,521
BAKER:
Which one?
392
00:12:18,589 --> 00:12:20,257
What year is this taking place?
I don't know.
393
00:12:20,324 --> 00:12:21,658
Oh. Oh.
BAKER: Guess!
394
00:12:21,726 --> 00:12:24,194
That one.
It's a schism within a schism.
395
00:12:24,262 --> 00:12:26,463
(whistling blowing)
All right, all right.
396
00:12:26,530 --> 00:12:28,765
No, that's not the Settlement!
They want you to think it is.
397
00:12:28,833 --> 00:12:30,033
(futuristic gunfire on screen)
398
00:12:30,034 --> 00:12:31,434
WOMAN: Oh, come on, ref!
MAN: Hey, flagrant foul!
399
00:12:31,502 --> 00:12:32,602
MAN 2:
Bullshit!
400
00:12:32,670 --> 00:12:33,703
Oh, yeah. Foul.
401
00:12:33,771 --> 00:12:34,671
(whistle blows)
Four-- foul.
402
00:12:34,739 --> 00:12:35,739
MAN 1:
Bullshit, ref!
403
00:12:35,806 --> 00:12:38,808
Well, where were we,
Agent Baker?
404
00:12:38,876 --> 00:12:41,177
Wait. Is this whole episode
a dream or a flash-forward?
405
00:12:41,245 --> 00:12:44,114
(yelling)
What the sint?
406
00:12:44,181 --> 00:12:46,082
BAKER: Explain that.
L.E: I can't.
407
00:12:46,150 --> 00:12:48,685
After the schism,
nothing makes sense.
408
00:12:48,753 --> 00:12:51,388
This girl I'm going out with
was almost on The Bachelor.
409
00:12:51,455 --> 00:12:53,957
Wow. She must be a
really good person.
410
00:12:54,025 --> 00:12:56,359
- Cool enough for me to bring her
to the Block party. - Andre, sex
411
00:12:56,427 --> 00:12:57,627
will lead to
nothing but trouble.
412
00:12:57,695 --> 00:12:58,662
RUXIN:
No. No sex
413
00:12:58,729 --> 00:13:00,096
is the problem.
414
00:13:00,164 --> 00:13:02,165
Sofia's been gone so long,
I'm done celebating.
415
00:13:02,233 --> 00:13:04,668
My balls feel like
two bruised plums
416
00:13:04,735 --> 00:13:06,970
that have been sitting
at the bottom of a shopping bag.
417
00:13:07,038 --> 00:13:08,204
PETE:
Is Ruben Dondo?
418
00:13:08,272 --> 00:13:09,673
Is Dondo Ruben? I mean,
419
00:13:09,740 --> 00:13:12,309
is there any sinting difference
in the long run there?
420
00:13:12,376 --> 00:13:14,811
Criminy! I realize
I have to feed my meter.
421
00:13:14,879 --> 00:13:16,746
Oh. Uh, that's fair.
I know what that is.
422
00:13:16,814 --> 00:13:18,948
Ooh, boy.
Ah, sint.
423
00:13:19,016 --> 00:13:20,150
Well, that sucked.
424
00:13:20,217 --> 00:13:21,718
Well, that's good, Pete,
425
00:13:21,786 --> 00:13:23,753
because sex'll do nothing
but rot your brain.
426
00:13:23,821 --> 00:13:25,221
Look at me.
Mentally,
427
00:13:25,289 --> 00:13:26,589
I'm not there anymore.
428
00:13:26,657 --> 00:13:27,738
I tried watching The Block.
429
00:13:27,792 --> 00:13:29,192
I didn't understand
a goddamn thing.
430
00:13:29,193 --> 00:13:31,194
That, for once, has nothing
to do with your melon.
431
00:13:31,262 --> 00:13:33,196
Andre, you're a...
432
00:13:33,264 --> 00:13:35,065
doctor.
433
00:13:35,132 --> 00:13:37,701
Can you examine me, please?
For what?
434
00:13:37,768 --> 00:13:39,448
I think I have C.T.E.
RUXIN: What's C.T.E.?
435
00:13:39,470 --> 00:13:40,770
Chronic traumatic encephalopathy
436
00:13:40,838 --> 00:13:42,472
from all the concussions.
437
00:13:42,540 --> 00:13:44,420
If you can say it, you
definitely don't have it.
438
00:13:44,475 --> 00:13:46,376
If you had C.T.E.,
you'd have memory loss.
439
00:13:46,444 --> 00:13:48,445
Well, I forgot to set my lineup.
440
00:13:48,512 --> 00:13:50,413
That happens every week.
Impaired judgment.
441
00:13:50,481 --> 00:13:51,548
I found this pill
in the bathroom.
442
00:13:51,615 --> 00:13:52,816
You guys want to go splitsies?
443
00:13:52,883 --> 00:13:54,017
I would not take that
if I were you.
444
00:13:54,085 --> 00:13:55,552
Impulse control problems?
445
00:13:55,619 --> 00:13:57,053
Down the hatch.
446
00:13:57,121 --> 00:13:58,121
You shouldn't have
swallowed that.
447
00:13:58,189 --> 00:13:59,489
Aggression.
448
00:13:59,557 --> 00:14:01,157
You said you didn't want it!
Depression?
449
00:14:01,225 --> 00:14:03,493
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have
yelled at you guys.
450
00:14:03,561 --> 00:14:04,627
Anxiety?
451
00:14:04,695 --> 00:14:07,263
Feels like my tongue
is sweating.
452
00:14:07,331 --> 00:14:08,898
And eventually, dementia.
Oh, my God, Andre!
453
00:14:08,966 --> 00:14:11,000
None of what you're wearing
makes sense. The camouflage,
454
00:14:11,068 --> 00:14:12,268
the leather hat,
the snakeskin pants.
455
00:14:12,336 --> 00:14:14,404
Oh, my God, I'm losing it! Aah!
456
00:14:14,472 --> 00:14:15,739
PETE:
He actually seems
457
00:14:15,806 --> 00:14:16,906
pretty lucid to me.
458
00:14:16,974 --> 00:14:18,308
Yeah, I would agree.
459
00:14:18,376 --> 00:14:20,076
You are dressed like one
of Nick Cannon's bodyguards.
460
00:14:20,144 --> 00:14:21,745
Tiny or Terrell?
461
00:14:21,812 --> 00:14:23,146
RUXIN:
Skype sex, here we go.
462
00:14:23,214 --> 00:14:24,647
All right!
463
00:14:24,715 --> 00:14:26,116
Okay, this is what I'm wearing.
464
00:14:26,183 --> 00:14:27,784
Looking good, girl.
465
00:14:27,852 --> 00:14:29,386
Uh, real good.
Okay, your turn.
466
00:14:29,453 --> 00:14:30,687
What am I wearing?
467
00:14:30,755 --> 00:14:35,058
T-shirt from Old Navy,
boxer... from the Gap.
468
00:14:35,126 --> 00:14:38,061
And inside those boxers--
my dick.
469
00:14:38,129 --> 00:14:40,363
How's that? Pretty good, right?
470
00:14:40,431 --> 00:14:42,232
It's cute. You want to kiss?
471
00:14:42,299 --> 00:14:43,666
Mm-hmm.
472
00:14:43,734 --> 00:14:47,804
Okay. Here goes the kiss.
473
00:14:50,908 --> 00:14:54,644
Sofia? You there, baby? Hello?
474
00:14:54,712 --> 00:14:57,147
Must have lost the connection,
and yet, there you are--
475
00:14:57,214 --> 00:15:00,216
give-me-a-kiss face, with
your ample cleavage showing,
476
00:15:00,284 --> 00:15:02,452
not saying a word.
477
00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:04,654
(clicking tongue)
478
00:15:04,722 --> 00:15:06,689
I think that'll probably work.
479
00:15:07,792 --> 00:15:09,659
Rodney?
480
00:15:09,727 --> 00:15:12,395
Babe? Can you see me?
481
00:15:12,463 --> 00:15:14,903
(high-pitched with accent): Oh,
I'm a little dirty Latin maid.
482
00:15:14,965 --> 00:15:16,499
Your penis is very dirty.
483
00:15:16,567 --> 00:15:17,901
It needs to be clean.
484
00:15:17,968 --> 00:15:21,738
I want to put the vacuum on it
so I can clean it up.
485
00:15:21,806 --> 00:15:23,940
(in normal voice): Oh, okay.
You want to clean it up, baby?
486
00:15:24,008 --> 00:15:26,810
You can clean it up, baby. Oh.
487
00:15:26,877 --> 00:15:28,812
You're a dirty little lady, huh?
488
00:15:28,879 --> 00:15:31,514
Oh, you're a trollop.
You're a silent trollop.
489
00:15:31,582 --> 00:15:33,616
Rodney?!
What? What? Hi.
490
00:15:33,684 --> 00:15:35,318
Rodney, what did you just
call me?
491
00:15:35,386 --> 00:15:36,786
Uh, Sofia. I called you Sofia.
492
00:15:36,854 --> 00:15:39,656
What are you doing right now?
493
00:15:39,723 --> 00:15:41,724
I was... masturbating to you.
494
00:15:41,792 --> 00:15:43,726
Ew! Why would you do that?!
495
00:15:43,794 --> 00:15:46,029
Think how flattering that is.
496
00:15:46,096 --> 00:15:47,576
I could pick any image
on the Internet
497
00:15:47,598 --> 00:15:50,200
or the weird pornos that I have
in my underwear drawer,
498
00:15:50,267 --> 00:15:52,836
and I'm choosing to masturbate
to you, my wife.
499
00:15:52,903 --> 00:15:54,037
That's disgusting.
500
00:15:54,104 --> 00:15:56,372
Can I at least finish?
Ugh! I'm going.
501
00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:59,125
No. Please, just show me your
nipple, or at least a foot! Oh!
502
00:16:01,812 --> 00:16:03,946
I am so excited about the Block party.
So am I.
503
00:16:04,014 --> 00:16:05,514
(shrieks, laughs)
(laughs)
504
00:16:05,582 --> 00:16:08,417
Oh, by the way, everyone in the
restaurant was so overreacting
505
00:16:08,485 --> 00:16:11,320
about the gun.
I know. It's just a fake gun.
506
00:16:11,388 --> 00:16:13,849
(fake soft gunfire) I mean, come on.
What's the big deal?
507
00:16:13,969 --> 00:16:16,405
We look so great.
Oh, you know, we got to get going.
508
00:16:16,525 --> 00:16:18,665
Um... want to get a cab?
509
00:16:18,912 --> 00:16:20,713
Uh... Uber.
510
00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:23,334
Uh... how about we walk?
511
00:16:23,454 --> 00:16:25,151
Come on, it'll
be fine. Come on.
512
00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:26,785
No, I-I can't walk
in these shoes. Look.
513
00:16:26,853 --> 00:16:28,320
We'll just walk.
No. Look, we'll just Uber.
514
00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:29,822
It's so easy.
All you have to do
515
00:16:29,890 --> 00:16:31,524
is open the app and touch the phone.
I know.
516
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:34,160
(engine starts)
517
00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:37,530
Oh, my God, that was so fast.
Oh, no.
518
00:16:37,597 --> 00:16:40,266
CLAIRE: Where are you
two off to tonight?
519
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,134
It's a party for the series
finale of The Block.
520
00:16:42,202 --> 00:16:43,569
It's a Block party!
You know, why don't you just
521
00:16:43,637 --> 00:16:44,937
sit in your seat just
for safety reasons?
522
00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:46,205
And we don't want to...
523
00:16:46,273 --> 00:16:47,373
Oh!
...upset the driver.
524
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:48,474
Agent Baker.
No.
525
00:16:48,542 --> 00:16:49,808
Following the rules.
526
00:16:49,876 --> 00:16:51,143
I think we should
break some rules.
527
00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:52,478
ANDRE:
No, no, not tonight.
528
00:16:52,546 --> 00:16:54,914
We're just gonna
just be two friends.
529
00:16:54,981 --> 00:16:56,549
So, you two, uh,
have a connection,
530
00:16:56,616 --> 00:16:57,917
or, um, what's the story there?
531
00:16:57,984 --> 00:17:00,252
He said I'm his bachelorette.
532
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,188
We're still figuring out
a lot of things.
533
00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:03,622
We're just like Agent Baker
534
00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:05,925
and L.E., keeping
things a secret.
535
00:17:05,992 --> 00:17:07,226
Okay, why don't you just
sit over there?
536
00:17:07,294 --> 00:17:09,028
Aren't you two cute?!
(tires screeching)
537
00:17:09,095 --> 00:17:10,229
Aah!
(screams)
538
00:17:10,297 --> 00:17:11,730
CLAIRE (laughing):
Oops, my bad.
539
00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:13,999
There was a bump in the road.
540
00:17:15,802 --> 00:17:17,803
KEVIN: Look at this!
JENNY (gasps): It's Baker and L.E.!
541
00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:19,772
Baker and L.E. Yes!
(laughing)
542
00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:21,640
I'm so excited about this.
543
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,842
JENNY: Oh, my God, this is awesome!
PETE: Wait.
544
00:17:23,910 --> 00:17:25,344
Why are these guys
still dressed like refs?
545
00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:27,112
Why are you still dressed
like a ref?
546
00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:28,714
I'm trying to impress them,
okay?
547
00:17:28,782 --> 00:17:30,883
Jesus, I don't want to get sent
back down to the minor leagues.
548
00:17:30,951 --> 00:17:32,032
I haven't slept in two days,
549
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:32,918
I've watched every
goddamn episode.
550
00:17:32,986 --> 00:17:34,687
It's like I ate a huge meal,
551
00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:36,674
I forgot what I ate, now
I just want to throw up.
552
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:37,856
TACO: Don't worry, Pete.
I was able
553
00:17:37,924 --> 00:17:39,058
to watch the entire show.
554
00:17:39,125 --> 00:17:40,593
Really?
Yeah. Yeah. Ask me anything.
555
00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:42,161
Well, how did Dondo die?
556
00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:44,663
Dondo died?
Yeah, in season two.
557
00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,966
Whoa, whoa, whoa. There
are seasons to this thing?
558
00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:48,234
There's seven of them.
559
00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:49,768
How did you watch the show?
560
00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:51,036
I was just watching it
in alphabetical order
561
00:17:51,104 --> 00:17:52,271
based on the title.
562
00:17:52,339 --> 00:17:53,505
What?!
What?!
563
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:54,907
No wonder people kept
coming back to life.
564
00:17:54,975 --> 00:17:56,508
Goddamn this brain!
All right, all right.
565
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:59,144
CLAIRE: You want to
know a funny story?
566
00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:01,113
I've made love in
this car. Yeah.
567
00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:03,482
I've made passionate, amazing,
568
00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:06,118
erotic love...
We don't need to hear about it.
569
00:18:06,186 --> 00:18:08,120
...in this car
with that man.
570
00:18:08,188 --> 00:18:09,421
(laughs)
Yup.
571
00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:12,324
(women laugh)
572
00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:14,093
With that man.
573
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:15,995
Let me tell you something.
574
00:18:16,062 --> 00:18:17,830
You see this man right here?
This man that you think
575
00:18:17,897 --> 00:18:19,698
you have a connection
with? This man
576
00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:22,568
connected with my vagina
all over this Uber, okay?
577
00:18:22,636 --> 00:18:24,536
He ejaculated here, there,
578
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:26,972
there, on your seat,
all over these leathers.
579
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:28,374
So you want to put a
black light on this thing,
580
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:29,575
it'll light up
like Times Square.
581
00:18:29,643 --> 00:18:31,477
Is that what you do?
You just pick up women,
582
00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:33,445
and you sleep with them, and
you just throw 'em to the curb?!
583
00:18:33,513 --> 00:18:35,014
No, I don't do that.
584
00:18:35,081 --> 00:18:37,549
It never gets to the sex stuff. I...
Oh, my God!
585
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,685
You're just like Juan Pablo
on The Bachelor.
586
00:18:39,753 --> 00:18:42,321
Preach!
I am not like Juan Pablo!
587
00:18:42,389 --> 00:18:44,523
You're a liar! I thought
we had a connection, okay?
588
00:18:44,591 --> 00:18:46,258
Doesn't Claire deserve love?
I don't know!
589
00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:47,493
I swear to God, if
you don't tell me
590
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:48,827
you love me, I'm
gonna crash this car
591
00:18:48,895 --> 00:18:50,162
into a wall and kill us all!
592
00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:51,597
Tell her you love her!
What? (engine revving)
593
00:18:51,665 --> 00:18:52,931
I'm gonna crash this
car and kill us all!
594
00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:54,266
Tell her you love her!
No!
595
00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:55,267
Tell me you love me!
596
00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:56,869
Tell her you love her!
597
00:18:56,936 --> 00:18:57,803
I love you! I love you!
I love you!
598
00:18:57,871 --> 00:19:01,807
(sighs)
And... here we are.
599
00:19:01,875 --> 00:19:03,709
Oh, my God.
600
00:19:03,777 --> 00:19:05,010
Okay. You okay?
You okay? No.
601
00:19:05,078 --> 00:19:06,545
No, get off me.
Do not touch me!
602
00:19:06,613 --> 00:19:07,780
Sorry, all right, come on, please, Berkeley.
No!
603
00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:09,048
Please. Come on!
604
00:19:09,115 --> 00:19:10,516
Oh, my God.
It's too cold to walk!
605
00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:13,118
Sint off, you
sinting crazy people!
606
00:19:13,186 --> 00:19:14,987
Berkeley, come back!
She was trouble.
607
00:19:15,055 --> 00:19:16,889
Jesus, what are you doing?!
608
00:19:16,956 --> 00:19:18,424
So, are we going to this party?
609
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:19,992
I'm not really in costume. Is
there an alcoholic character?
610
00:19:20,060 --> 00:19:22,361
You need
to leave me alone right now!
611
00:19:22,429 --> 00:19:24,096
Ooh, I get it. You
want to play rough.
612
00:19:24,164 --> 00:19:25,531
I'm not playing.
I'm not playing.
613
00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:27,333
Leave me alone!
Leave me alone!
614
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,168
I'm done with you!
I'm done with you!
615
00:19:29,235 --> 00:19:30,469
We are so in sync.
616
00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:32,471
What?
You get back here, Mr. Man.
617
00:19:32,539 --> 00:19:33,706
You get back here!
618
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:36,642
(fake soft gunfire)
Stay away from me!
619
00:19:36,710 --> 00:19:37,876
Get back here!
Stay away! Aah! Aah!
620
00:19:37,944 --> 00:19:39,178
You're mine!
621
00:19:39,245 --> 00:19:40,579
I'll take the bus!
I'll take the bus!
622
00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:42,281
(screams)
623
00:19:43,491 --> 00:19:45,918
L.E.: When the settlement
sublimates the chosen,
624
00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:48,887
this is where the dead bodies
are disposed.
625
00:19:48,955 --> 00:19:51,957
It was all smoke and mirrors.
626
00:19:52,025 --> 00:19:53,792
Oh, my.
What is happening?
627
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:55,627
L.E.: Like so many
of your religious practices.
628
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:57,029
(snoring)
629
00:19:57,097 --> 00:19:59,331
You snooze, you don't win.
630
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:03,936
People need to believe
in something.
631
00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:06,438
You're supposed to be dead!
So are you.
632
00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:08,173
L.E.: I can't let you do
that, Ruben.
633
00:20:08,241 --> 00:20:10,909
(dramatic music playing)
634
00:20:10,977 --> 00:20:13,445
JENNY:
Don't, Ruben!
635
00:20:13,513 --> 00:20:15,981
It's a one-night stand!
It's over!
636
00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:17,683
It's not over
until I say it's over!
637
00:20:17,751 --> 00:20:19,318
BAKER:
It's the end of the world.
638
00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:20,986
L.E.:
The time schism is upon us.
639
00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:22,921
BAKER: I think I know
something that you don't.
640
00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:24,423
KEVIN:
I knew it!
641
00:20:24,491 --> 00:20:26,558
What is going on?
What?
642
00:20:26,626 --> 00:20:27,893
Oh, my God!
643
00:20:27,961 --> 00:20:29,027
644
00:20:29,095 --> 00:20:30,195
I got you, lover!
645
00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:31,743
This is gonna
affect your Uber rating!
646
00:20:31,798 --> 00:20:33,399
I got you!
647
00:20:33,466 --> 00:20:34,633
(yelling)
648
00:20:34,701 --> 00:20:36,301
No!
What happened?!
649
00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:37,169
Taco?
650
00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:38,637
PETE:
Taco!
651
00:20:38,705 --> 00:20:39,505
(groans)
652
00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:41,407
Ow.
Hi.
653
00:20:41,474 --> 00:20:42,307
I'm Claire.
654
00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:43,776
I'm Taco.
655
00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:44,843
Are you guys okay?
656
00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:45,878
Who are you?
657
00:20:46,679 --> 00:20:48,046
You want to fool around?
658
00:20:48,114 --> 00:20:49,014
Yeah.
659
00:20:49,082 --> 00:20:50,403
Taco, what about
your concussions?
660
00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:52,251
What concussions?
I can give you a lift.
661
00:20:52,318 --> 00:20:54,594
Just the sex would be fine.
Great. That sounds good.
662
00:20:54,706 --> 00:20:56,899
Well, looks like his concussion
cured his concussion.
663
00:20:57,019 --> 00:20:58,332
Taco's coming out of retirement.
664
00:20:58,452 --> 00:21:09,055
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
665
00:21:09,105 --> 00:21:13,655
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
49457
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.