Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,950 --> 00:00:03,151
RUXIN: So that dumb jock,
Bethesda, was pissed, and
2
00:00:03,285 --> 00:00:06,571
Hudabega was rip shit about
Geoffrey's little baseball
3
00:00:06,705 --> 00:00:08,156
incident.
PETE: You mean the "little
4
00:00:08,290 --> 00:00:10,124
incident" where you gave your
only son performance-enhancing
5
00:00:10,242 --> 00:00:13,661
drugs? You still have that
Sammy Sosa jersey? Yeah.
6
00:00:13,829 --> 00:00:15,496
Yeah, game's more interesting
that way. What can I say?
7
00:00:15,664 --> 00:00:17,131
KEVIN: Well, did Hudabega
fire you, then?
8
00:00:17,249 --> 00:00:19,467
No, I didn't get fired, but
I've been banished to Korea.
9
00:00:19,585 --> 00:00:21,719
(Kevin groans)
We represent the company that
10
00:00:21,837 --> 00:00:24,472
owns the ferry that allegedly
tipped over and killed all those
11
00:00:24,590 --> 00:00:26,307
people.
Allegedly?
12
00:00:26,425 --> 00:00:28,176
My job is to prove that
everybody walked to one side of
13
00:00:28,310 --> 00:00:30,261
the ferry to look over the side.
At what?
14
00:00:30,396 --> 00:00:32,480
Perhaps the Malaysian plane.
I can't speculate at this point.
15
00:00:32,598 --> 00:00:35,400
Wow.
And the thing tipped over.
16
00:00:35,517 --> 00:00:39,103
Allegedly. TACO: You know what you
should bring? You should bring this.
17
00:00:39,238 --> 00:00:41,573
You don't want to look like a
tourist.
18
00:00:41,690 --> 00:00:43,858
A tiny gong.
Thanks, Taco.
19
00:00:44,026 --> 00:00:45,706
We're gonna really miss you,
though, Ruxin.
20
00:00:45,828 --> 00:00:47,662
I think you guys really are
gonna miss me.
21
00:00:47,780 --> 00:00:50,248
I know that I am the denture
glue that keeps these teeth in
22
00:00:50,366 --> 00:00:54,702
the mouth that is this league,
and I want you to know I'm gonna
23
00:00:54,837 --> 00:00:58,506
stay involved. I'm gonna be present for
everyone, 'cause I know you need it.
24
00:00:58,624 --> 00:01:00,258
Right.
I, for example, will not
25
00:01:00,376 --> 00:01:03,678
cease to taunt Andre with the
fury of a thousand suns for what
26
00:01:03,796 --> 00:01:07,432
he did.
ANDRE: I have no words.
27
00:01:07,549 --> 00:01:10,051
Except for two.
I'm sorry.
28
00:01:10,219 --> 00:01:12,687
(whispering): I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
29
00:01:12,805 --> 00:01:14,722
What, are you taking us to prom?
30
00:01:14,890 --> 00:01:18,810
No, you are now a part of the
Andre apology tour.
31
00:01:18,944 --> 00:01:22,897
I have colluded against you with
the great Jay Glazer, and I
32
00:01:23,032 --> 00:01:26,651
accept my punishment, so hit me
with what you got.
33
00:01:26,785 --> 00:01:28,903
Sure.
Cool.
34
00:01:29,038 --> 00:01:32,490
Okay. Why do these flowers smell
like Polo Sport? Beside the point!
35
00:01:32,625 --> 00:01:34,409
I need to know what the
punishment is.
36
00:01:34,576 --> 00:01:36,711
Understood.
We'll let you know.
37
00:01:36,829 --> 00:01:38,670
You can't do this to me!
You have to punish me.
38
00:01:38,797 --> 00:01:40,748
Punish me!
Classic bottom.
39
00:01:40,916 --> 00:01:42,550
All right, if a bullet is
coming, I need to know when it's
40
00:01:42,668 --> 00:01:43,918
coming.
That makes sense.
41
00:01:44,086 --> 00:01:46,054
Just tell me now.
I understand your concern.
42
00:01:46,171 --> 00:01:47,889
You're a bunch of dicks.
No, sorry, I take that back.
43
00:01:48,007 --> 00:01:49,807
You're not dicks.
I apologize for that.
44
00:01:49,925 --> 00:01:51,676
Put that in the apology to as well.
45
00:01:51,810 --> 00:01:53,594
You can keep the flowers.
I love you all.
46
00:01:53,762 --> 00:01:56,097
(stammers)
All right, good talk, Andre.
47
00:01:56,265 --> 00:01:58,232
Thanks for the flowers, Andre.
48
00:01:58,350 --> 00:02:00,685
Thank you.
So what's the punishment?
49
00:02:00,819 --> 00:02:02,487
There is no punishment.
Ghost punishment.
50
00:02:02,604 --> 00:02:04,272
Ah.
The best.
51
00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:06,190
But Ruxin still has
to go to Korea.
52
00:02:06,325 --> 00:02:08,192
Yeah, but that's more like a
reward for us.
53
00:02:08,327 --> 00:02:10,361
You're gonna want to take
this with you, too.
54
00:02:10,496 --> 00:02:12,536
I don't think there's anything
like that over there.
55
00:02:12,614 --> 00:02:17,593
Is this secretly filled with pot for me
to give to some weirdo in Korea? Nope.
56
00:02:17,959 --> 00:02:23,407
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
57
00:02:23,527 --> 00:02:25,978
The truth is, I've been here
for a long time, performing at a
58
00:02:26,113 --> 00:02:29,065
very high level.
I've been here for a long time,
59
00:02:29,199 --> 00:02:33,236
and I feel I deserve a raise.
I hear you, I really do.
60
00:02:33,370 --> 00:02:35,321
Good. Okay.
I want you to hear me when I
61
00:02:35,456 --> 00:02:37,907
say absolutely not.
Why would we do that?
62
00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:40,626
A raise for me could do a lot
to boost morale around
63
00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:42,962
this place.
I could be, like, the Rudy for
64
00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,498
this entire office of sad sack
losers.
65
00:02:45,632 --> 00:02:51,087
That's your pitch? Well, that and... I
got a really nice bottle of Chardonnay.
66
00:02:51,221 --> 00:02:53,256
Ooh.
Oh, I've heard of that, but I
67
00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:54,924
haven't tried it.
I think we should crack this
68
00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:57,310
bad boy open, celebrate my
raise.
69
00:02:57,427 --> 00:03:03,432
Huh. Well... (sighs)
I'll tell you what.
70
00:03:03,567 --> 00:03:06,102
Maybe in a couple weeks-- it's
my birthday-- but, uh, no raise.
71
00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:08,111
Give me my Chardonnay back.
Give me my Chard...
72
00:03:08,272 --> 00:03:09,772
No, no, no, that's not how
it's done.
73
00:03:09,907 --> 00:03:11,741
You don't give Chardonnay and
then ask for it back.
74
00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:13,776
Hmm-mm.
Fine.
75
00:03:13,911 --> 00:03:16,245
Yeah. Savage.
Ah, ah, ah! No, no, no, no, no!
76
00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:20,583
Off, off, off, off, off! Off!
Goddamn it!
77
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:23,169
So my dickhead boss totally
Heisman-ed my attempt for a
78
00:03:23,287 --> 00:03:27,006
raise. I swear, I think he's trying to
franchise-tag me. Franchise-tag you?
79
00:03:27,124 --> 00:03:28,758
Yeah.
You think you deserve to be
80
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:31,117
paid the average of the top five
people at your position?
81
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,629
That's a good point.
You want to get paid like
82
00:03:33,764 --> 00:03:35,965
Darelle Revis, but you don't
have a competing offer.
83
00:03:36,099 --> 00:03:37,683
JENNY: Yeah, you need
that leverage.
84
00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:39,761
You need a stocking horse.
Okay, I figured it out.
85
00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:42,438
I figured out my punishment.
You guys hid my car keys, right?
86
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:47,310
No. Who, then, wrecked my trilby
hat from my Hat of the Month Club?
87
00:03:47,444 --> 00:03:49,278
God.
Or a really, really smart,
88
00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:51,397
fashionable person.
I just want to know what my
89
00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:54,283
punishment is, and can it please
just happen today?
90
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:56,642
Not how it works, Andre.
The punishee does not decide the
91
00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:58,898
schedule of the punisher.
Yeah, you don't get to decide
92
00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,957
when you get mugged.
I'm gonna get mugged?
93
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,326
Maybe.
Just sit down and relax.
94
00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:06,379
Oh, I'll sit down in this
chair, Jenny?
95
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:08,497
Or continue to stand up and
be a weirdo.
96
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:10,800
I guess now because you want
me to stand, I will sit.
97
00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:12,835
We'd love you to leave.
Well, then, guess what.
98
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:16,305
I'm gonna stay in this chair.
(chuckles) Figuring all of this
99
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:19,175
out.
Okay.
100
00:04:19,309 --> 00:04:23,429
Oh, damn it! Oh! You... God!
(grunts) I lost to Russell.
101
00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:25,681
Well, you should have played
Sproles in the flex.
102
00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:28,010
You got him sitting on your
bench, and he's killing it.
103
00:04:28,018 --> 00:04:30,152
Honestly, I thought it was a
Vincent Jackson play.
104
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,438
Why?
He's huge.
105
00:04:32,573 --> 00:04:35,992
So you choose your lineup
based on height?
106
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:39,362
It is a big man's game, Pete.
You know what?
107
00:04:39,496 --> 00:04:41,831
You're a height supremacist,
Jenny.
108
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:43,699
Excuse me?
Uh-huh.
109
00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:45,451
That's a pretty big accusation.
110
00:04:45,586 --> 00:04:47,867
I am not a height supremacist.
I have Russell Wilson on my
111
00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:49,922
team.
And you never play him.
112
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:52,508
Yeah, and by the way,
remember she passed on Randall
113
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:56,262
Cobb in the seventh to pick up Kelvin
Benjamin, an unproven rookie? Yeah.
114
00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:58,700
I don't feel bad about that.
Kelvin Benjamin is six-six and
115
00:04:58,765 --> 00:05:01,434
he has the catch radius of a guy
who is six-nine.
116
00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:05,605
I rest my case, Your Honor. Hey, Pete,
what are you doing? Eagles-Colts.
117
00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:07,762
Great. I need to run some
Taco Corp business by you.
118
00:05:07,891 --> 00:05:09,942
Now, Taco Corp's getting into
real estate.
119
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:12,228
Great.
Uh... what do you think?
120
00:05:12,396 --> 00:05:14,614
It-it-it looks great.
Can you... Yes.
121
00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:16,148
What does it look like on
this side?
122
00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:17,566
It looks great over there, too.
123
00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:19,201
Yeah, what about the font?
Yes.
124
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,569
Yeah, lower, you want it higher?
125
00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:22,488
Taco, yes, as a board member,
I approve.
126
00:05:22,623 --> 00:05:24,457
Great. Easy.
Taco, how are you gonna buy
127
00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:26,909
houses if you clearly can't even
afford a printer?
128
00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:29,078
I mean, you do it.
Can't be that hard.
129
00:05:29,246 --> 00:05:30,913
I don't think you understand
how real estate works.
130
00:05:31,048 --> 00:05:33,165
I don't think he understands
how signs work.
131
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:35,418
Look, I get that you guys are
skeptical, okay?
132
00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:39,171
When Steve Jobs invented the
first job, everyone thought he
133
00:05:39,306 --> 00:05:42,141
was an idiot, but today,
everyone has jobs.
134
00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:45,261
And look how well Steve Jobs is
doing. Hmm?
135
00:05:45,395 --> 00:05:48,264
When are you guys gonna realize
that Taco Corp is a real
136
00:05:48,398 --> 00:05:52,318
corporation with real employees
and real board members?
137
00:05:52,436 --> 00:05:57,940
Interesting.
What the hell?
138
00:05:58,075 --> 00:06:00,993
Let me guess, Taco Corp is
entering the space race, and
139
00:06:01,111 --> 00:06:04,664
this is your rocket ship?
Love how you push me to be
140
00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:07,283
better, Pete, but no.
This is the first-ever
141
00:06:07,417 --> 00:06:10,419
EBDB kiosk.
That's right, you can sign up
142
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:13,205
and find out who your Eskimo
brothers are in the comfort of
143
00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:18,294
"The EBDB does not treat
venereal diseases."
144
00:06:18,428 --> 00:06:20,796
No, a couple people found
that out the hard way.
145
00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:22,965
Listen, I have a business
proposition for you.
146
00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:24,967
I'm trying to get a raise.
No, no, no, no, if you're
147
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:27,136
gonna talk business, we need to
do it in the boardroom.
148
00:06:27,270 --> 00:06:28,721
I think we're fine right here.
149
00:06:28,855 --> 00:06:30,973
Follow me.
It's just one door down.
150
00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:33,726
First door on your left.
Yes.
151
00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:35,728
Come on in, sir.
Oh, God. Jesus.
152
00:06:35,862 --> 00:06:37,730
Yeah.
Okay.
153
00:06:37,864 --> 00:06:39,949
Welcome, sir.
What I need is for Taco Corp
154
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:42,485
to write me a job offer for
$150,000.
155
00:06:42,619 --> 00:06:44,653
Whoa, that's pretty steep, Pete.
156
00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:46,861
The good news is, you don't
actually have to pay me.
157
00:06:46,873 --> 00:06:50,242
(fly buzzing)
I can't tell which is more
158
00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:52,244
professional, the boardroom or
the kiosk.
159
00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:54,379
I think they're both fine.
I don't think they're...
160
00:06:54,381 --> 00:06:56,248
No, you know what, I think
the kiosk.
161
00:06:56,383 --> 00:06:59,468
Let's move it back to the kiosk.
Come on, follow me.
162
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:01,170
All right.
Move it to the kiosk.
163
00:07:01,338 --> 00:07:05,474
All right. Yeah, this is
much more business-y. Good.
164
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:07,676
It's like my good friend Mark
from Cuba says, "How you do the
165
00:07:07,811 --> 00:07:10,262
small things is how you do
everything."
166
00:07:10,397 --> 00:07:16,769
All right, now, um, here we go...
First name. Spartacus.
167
00:07:16,903 --> 00:07:19,522
You know what? This would better in the
boardroom. You know, I think this is
168
00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:22,024
fine, right here. This-this is
boardroom, let's do it. Follow me!
169
00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:23,859
Real... Jesus Christ.
Here we go!
170
00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:29,698
So, next question: Where do you see
yourself five years in the past? What?
171
00:07:29,833 --> 00:07:33,202
Okay, this one's a quizzler:
What kind of horse is this?
172
00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:36,622
Appaloosa.
Appaloosa... okay.
173
00:07:36,757 --> 00:07:39,875
Let me test your reflexes.
Lift up your hand... whoa.
174
00:07:40,010 --> 00:07:41,710
Wow.
Yeah.
175
00:07:41,845 --> 00:07:44,797
Just met you, Spartacus, but I
really like you, and I think
176
00:07:44,931 --> 00:07:46,382
that...
(fly buzzing)
177
00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:50,052
Oh, God, no, please, please.
Just feel like...
178
00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:52,605
You are fake hired.
Fake thank you.
179
00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,690
I am gonna write up the fake
contract.
180
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,525
You know, let me write the
offer and then you can just kind
181
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,944
of sign it.
That sounds like business.
182
00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:00,832
Hey, use some of that newfound
fake money to cover my parking,
183
00:08:00,952 --> 00:08:02,017
will you?
(whoops)
184
00:08:02,137 --> 00:08:03,477
You got it, Taco.
185
00:08:13,778 --> 00:08:15,579
Okay...
Welcome to the schmooze-fest.
186
00:08:15,699 --> 00:08:20,816
No, it's nice. Okay, there is my new
boss, Mr. Lipscome. He's a D.A.
187
00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:22,652
Lipscome?
Lipscome.
188
00:08:22,819 --> 00:08:24,203
Lipscome.
Don't make it filthy.
189
00:08:24,321 --> 00:08:26,455
His name is "Lipscome."
I know, but emphasis on the
190
00:08:26,573 --> 00:08:28,741
"lips," not the "come" part.
Lips... Lipscome.
191
00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:31,994
Just let it go, okay? Mr. Lipscome...
Now, I don't know much about him.
192
00:08:32,162 --> 00:08:34,282
All I know is he's from Philly
and he's an Eagles fan.
193
00:08:34,298 --> 00:08:35,464
That's my language.
Great.
194
00:08:35,582 --> 00:08:36,465
I can do this.
Great.
195
00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:38,668
I can do this. Do you want, like, flirty
and sophisticated? Do you want...
196
00:08:38,802 --> 00:08:40,136
No, no, no, no.
...guy's girl?
197
00:08:40,254 --> 00:08:42,505
I can go sexy.
I'd settle for sober.
198
00:08:42,639 --> 00:08:45,925
Just go over to him, tell him
how much I admire him, his worth
199
00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:48,511
ethic, blah, blah, blah...
Babe, I got this.
200
00:08:48,645 --> 00:08:49,679
Good.
Okay?
201
00:08:49,813 --> 00:08:51,013
Okay.
I would like a martini.
202
00:08:51,148 --> 00:08:52,481
No.
Gimlet?
203
00:08:52,599 --> 00:08:54,684
Thank you.
The shrimp needs to be
204
00:08:54,818 --> 00:08:58,104
chilled, not frozen. When you freeze
it, ice crystals form. Mr. Lipscome.
205
00:08:58,238 --> 00:09:00,323
Hello, I'm Jenny MacArthur.
I'm Kevin's wife.
206
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:03,409
It is so nice to meet you.
I can't tell you how excited
207
00:09:03,527 --> 00:09:05,745
Kevin is to work with you.
He looks up to you, and...
208
00:09:05,862 --> 00:09:08,497
Um... it's...
(Lipscome chuckles)
209
00:09:08,615 --> 00:09:11,033
That's, uh, it's actually me.
I'm Gary Lipscome.
210
00:09:11,201 --> 00:09:13,336
Oh, I'm so sorry!
That's all right.
211
00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:16,005
He was just so tall and...
I'm sorry?
212
00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:21,544
He... he just, uh, was very...
Tall, you said. Like a D.A.
213
00:09:21,678 --> 00:09:24,263
He's tall like a D.A....
I... it was...
214
00:09:24,381 --> 00:09:26,098
...and I'm short and
therefore not like a D.A., is
215
00:09:26,216 --> 00:09:27,883
that what you're trying to say?
No.
216
00:09:28,018 --> 00:09:30,553
No, that is not what I am saying
at all.
217
00:09:30,721 --> 00:09:34,690
You're crouching.
No, I'm... I'm not.
218
00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:38,227
Funny thing is, I love short people.
219
00:09:38,395 --> 00:09:41,280
Some of my very closest friends
are short.
220
00:09:41,398 --> 00:09:43,366
Oh, hello.
Hi.
221
00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:44,734
Hi.
Thank you.
222
00:09:44,868 --> 00:09:46,569
Honey... oh.
Uh, Mr. Lipscome.
223
00:09:46,737 --> 00:09:50,790
MacArthur.
He's very grumpy.
224
00:09:50,907 --> 00:09:52,742
What is wrong with you?
Why can't you keep your height
225
00:09:52,909 --> 00:09:56,712
power thoughts to yourself? Kevin,
he is shockingly short. So?
226
00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:58,714
There is Peter Dinklage,
there is Mr. Lipscome, and then
227
00:09:58,832 --> 00:10:01,133
there's the rest of us.
"Us"?
228
00:10:01,251 --> 00:10:03,586
My God, come on, Adolf
Heightler.
229
00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:05,971
Geez, Louise...
I didn't mean to offend your
230
00:10:06,089 --> 00:10:08,891
boss.
I look at all heights equally.
231
00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:12,311
Yeah, sure you do.
Sieg height!
232
00:10:12,429 --> 00:10:13,929
Height!
No, it's not funny.
233
00:10:14,064 --> 00:10:16,766
That's offensive.
I have plenty of short friends.
234
00:10:16,933 --> 00:10:19,735
Oh, good.
Who?
235
00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:21,103
Ellie.
Not a friend.
236
00:10:21,238 --> 00:10:22,605
That's your child.
(over computer): I don't even
237
00:10:22,739 --> 00:10:24,106
think Ellie considers you a
friend.
238
00:10:24,241 --> 00:10:26,742
Blah, you just keep it down,
Computer Ruxin.
239
00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:28,661
I told you I wouldn't abandon
the league.
240
00:10:28,779 --> 00:10:30,996
That's why I zinged you from
around the globe.
241
00:10:31,114 --> 00:10:33,082
You're a great friend, Ruxin.
How's Korea?
242
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:36,619
It's a shitstorm horrorscape.
The only advantage is that I'm
243
00:10:36,787 --> 00:10:39,955
up when the waiver wire opens.
(man speaking Korean)
244
00:10:40,090 --> 00:10:42,958
Yeah.
(man speaking Korean)
245
00:10:43,093 --> 00:10:45,461
Sorry, Mr. O.
Who is yelling at you?
246
00:10:45,595 --> 00:10:47,630
His name is Mr. O.
He's either the president of the
247
00:10:47,798 --> 00:10:49,849
company or he may be my
assistant.
248
00:10:49,966 --> 00:10:51,851
I can't tell.
Everybody just screams all the
249
00:10:51,968 --> 00:10:54,470
time.
The people here never go home.
250
00:10:54,604 --> 00:10:57,306
All they do is work.
Honestly, Kevin, the janitors
251
00:10:57,474 --> 00:10:59,725
are more motivated than you.
Oh, yeah? Yeah?
252
00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:01,221
Come here, I'll show you
motivated.
253
00:11:01,311 --> 00:11:02,812
Hey! Where am I going?
Oh, yeah!
254
00:11:02,946 --> 00:11:04,814
Oh, my God, is Sala.
Ah.
255
00:11:04,948 --> 00:11:06,816
Show him that pretty...
Deal with that.
256
00:11:06,983 --> 00:11:08,234
You know what?
I'm sorry.
257
00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:11,821
I-I messed up. But I am going to fix
this, okay? He's from Philly, right?
258
00:11:11,988 --> 00:11:13,823
Yeah.
Okay, I can work with this.
259
00:11:13,957 --> 00:11:16,292
I'm so sorry I'm late!
I knew that you guys had started
260
00:11:16,410 --> 00:11:19,128
without me.
One Cosmopolitan, please.
261
00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:24,500
Hi, I am Andrea.
Are we talking about football?
262
00:11:24,634 --> 00:11:27,670
I love their costumes, they're
so cute.
263
00:11:27,804 --> 00:11:30,756
What is going on?
It's me, Andre.
264
00:11:30,891 --> 00:11:33,142
Oh!
What are you doing, Andre?
265
00:11:33,260 --> 00:11:36,178
Since you guys haven't yet
punished me, I decided I would
266
00:11:36,313 --> 00:11:39,432
punish myself.
Is it really a punishment, or
267
00:11:39,566 --> 00:11:41,350
are you just kind of exploring
some things?
268
00:11:41,518 --> 00:11:43,558
Yeah, I dressed like a woman.
This is my punishment.
269
00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:45,738
I just feel like a punishment
should be something that's hard,
270
00:11:45,856 --> 00:11:47,336
and you just seem to be smiling
a lot.
271
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:48,941
Like, right now, you're
really...
272
00:11:49,075 --> 00:11:51,861
Because I don't want to... I
don't want you to think I'm not
273
00:11:51,995 --> 00:11:53,863
doing it...
How often are doing this?
274
00:11:53,997 --> 00:11:56,198
I'm super excited, 'cause I
want more girlfriends.
275
00:11:56,333 --> 00:11:59,084
We should totally go out and
get skinny margs...
276
00:11:59,202 --> 00:12:00,870
Yeah.
...and have some nachos.
277
00:12:01,037 --> 00:12:04,457
Well, you know what? I think Ruxin
would like to see some of this. Ruxin?
278
00:12:04,591 --> 00:12:06,091
Thank you, finally. Meet Andrea.
279
00:12:06,209 --> 00:12:09,128
Holy shit!
Is that little Ruxin?
280
00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:12,381
Hi, Ruxin, it's me, Andrea.
I think I had fish and soy
281
00:12:12,516 --> 00:12:14,884
milk for breakfast and this is
more disgusting.
282
00:12:15,018 --> 00:12:16,719
Oh, my gosh.
Turn around, baby.
283
00:12:16,853 --> 00:12:18,604
What's that?
You want to see me dance?
284
00:12:18,722 --> 00:12:20,973
That's right, Andre.
Give Daddy a show.
285
00:12:21,107 --> 00:12:25,361
I'm a naughty girl
In a dirty little world
286
00:12:25,479 --> 00:12:29,865
Will you show me what to do?
I think there's a bunch of
287
00:12:29,983 --> 00:12:33,986
businessmen here who would pay a lot
of money for your panties, Andre. Huh?
288
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,654
What?
(man speaking Korean)
289
00:12:35,789 --> 00:12:37,072
Korea signing off.
Sorry, so sorry, so sorry.
290
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,625
Oh, bye, bye.
Are we done?
291
00:12:39,743 --> 00:12:42,628
No, Andre, you don't get to
decide your own punishment.
292
00:12:42,746 --> 00:12:45,297
We set the punishment and you go
by our sweet time.
293
00:12:45,415 --> 00:12:47,583
Oh, come on, man!
This is bullshit.
294
00:12:47,751 --> 00:12:50,002
You think I like this?
I don't like this.
295
00:12:50,136 --> 00:12:53,172
Okay? I'm a man!
And I deserve respect.
296
00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:54,706
You've got it, Andre.
Put 'er there.
297
00:12:54,808 --> 00:12:56,642
Thank... hey!
You do not get to touch that!
298
00:12:56,760 --> 00:13:03,015
Hey! Hey! Ah... I broke a heel.
Damn it!
299
00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:06,769
These were Manolo Blahniks.
I have to say, this is the
300
00:13:06,937 --> 00:13:09,605
best I've ever seen him dress.
He looked beautiful.
301
00:13:09,739 --> 00:13:12,575
Why are there condoms in here?
302
00:13:12,692 --> 00:13:16,245
Dear Mr. Darren Sproles, my
name is Ellie MacArthur, and I
303
00:13:16,363 --> 00:13:18,914
would like to invite you to my
Sadie Hawkins dance.
304
00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:23,669
It may sound a little cheesy--
or maybe cheese-steaky-- but the
305
00:13:23,787 --> 00:13:27,289
Eagles are my favorite team and
you're my favorite player.
306
00:13:27,457 --> 00:13:29,792
What are the Eagles?
Oh, cut!
307
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:32,261
Ellie!
Just say what I wrote.
308
00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:34,463
And turn up the cute factor.
I need you to smile with your
309
00:13:34,631 --> 00:13:37,132
whole face.
Once I get that little man
310
00:13:37,267 --> 00:13:39,301
dancing on the dance floor, no
one's ever gonna call me a
311
00:13:39,469 --> 00:13:41,854
height supremacist.
And... action!
312
00:13:41,972 --> 00:13:49,144
Dear Mr. Darren Sproles... No, no, no...
Taco Corp. Never heard of 'em.
313
00:13:49,312 --> 00:13:50,633
Well, they're a brand-new
startup.
314
00:13:50,697 --> 00:13:52,565
They're incubating a pretty
radical new platform in the
315
00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:55,284
social media space.
I don't know what that means.
316
00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:57,286
Neither do I.
But they've made me an
317
00:13:57,404 --> 00:14:00,155
aggressive offer, Bill.
And as they say, I'm forced to
318
00:14:00,290 --> 00:14:05,327
consider it. All right, well, let me take
this upstairs and see what I can do.
319
00:14:05,495 --> 00:14:07,379
That's good, 'cause I'd hate
to, uh, take back that bottle of
320
00:14:07,497 --> 00:14:10,583
Chardonnay.
You son of a bitch.
321
00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:15,888
I'll make the call now.
>> Thursday Night Football--
322
00:14:16,006 --> 00:14:17,890
could it get any better than
this?
323
00:14:18,008 --> 00:14:19,892
I wish football was on every
night-- Friday night, Saturday
324
00:14:20,010 --> 00:14:21,977
night.
They should have football
325
00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:24,346
every night, not just Thursdays.
Yeah, I just said that,
326
00:14:24,481 --> 00:14:27,349
Ruxin.
We... Forget it.
327
00:14:27,484 --> 00:14:30,853
What's your issue?
What? I got to, I got to pee.
328
00:14:30,987 --> 00:14:33,155
Go pee. The bathroom's right
there.
329
00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:36,158
Oh, no, I'm not gonna go pee
so you guys can pull out your
330
00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:38,327
little punishment tricks.
No, no, no. No, thank you.
331
00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:40,245
I don't need something up my
butt.
332
00:14:40,363 --> 00:14:42,665
There's a first.
(both laugh)
333
00:14:42,782 --> 00:14:44,867
There's a first.
We said that already.
334
00:14:45,001 --> 00:14:47,169
I already said that, Computer
Ruspin.
335
00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:49,872
Oh, shit! Kevin, your first
drink is on me.
336
00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:52,541
Thanks to your Taco Corp plan,
I got a raise!
337
00:14:52,709 --> 00:14:54,710
Who's here-- is that Pete?
No.
338
00:14:54,844 --> 00:14:56,712
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.
339
00:14:56,846 --> 00:14:58,714
So, you're staying at your
old job?
340
00:14:58,848 --> 00:15:00,768
Yeah, of course I am.
You're refusing Taco Corp's
341
00:15:00,884 --> 00:15:03,218
offer?
It was a fake offer, Taco.
342
00:15:03,386 --> 00:15:06,021
It was generous!
It was beyond generous!
343
00:15:06,139 --> 00:15:08,023
You were never gonna pay me!
I was gonna pretend to pay
344
00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:10,392
you. A deal's a deal!
Whatever, Taco.
345
00:15:10,527 --> 00:15:12,444
I'm staying at my old job.
Sorry.
346
00:15:12,562 --> 00:15:14,480
Oh, my... You are making a
huge mistake.
347
00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:16,534
Taco Corp is blowing up and
you're gonna miss it.
348
00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:18,951
You know why, Pete No Known Last
Name?
349
00:15:19,069 --> 00:15:22,955
Because you're fired!
(all oohing)
350
00:15:23,073 --> 00:15:26,041
No, Mr. O, I-I wasn't making
fun of your last name or your
351
00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:28,494
culture.
For that delayed comment,
352
00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:31,130
Ruspin, you're fired, too!
You're all fired!
353
00:15:31,247 --> 00:15:33,132
I'm gonna get some ice cream.
You guys need anything?
354
00:15:33,249 --> 00:15:35,134
No, thanks.
No, I'm good.
355
00:15:35,251 --> 00:15:37,336
Is he getting ice cream?
Taco's gonna put a bee in
356
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:40,255
Andre's ice cream?
Holy shit, you guys!
357
00:15:40,390 --> 00:15:42,391
Darren Sproles said yes!
What?!
358
00:15:42,509 --> 00:15:44,393
Yes!
Get out of here.
359
00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:47,096
Let me see! Let me see!
Hi, Ellie.
360
00:15:47,230 --> 00:15:49,630
This is Darren Sproles and I
would love to attend your school
361
00:15:49,766 --> 00:15:52,151
dance with you.
I'll be there.
362
00:15:52,268 --> 00:15:54,153
Babe, you did this?
This is great!
363
00:15:54,270 --> 00:15:56,155
My boss is a huge Eagles fan!
I know!
364
00:15:56,272 --> 00:15:58,157
This is gonna be good for me.
Aw, Darren Sproles, you are
365
00:15:58,274 --> 00:16:00,943
so cool and smart and nice and
short.
366
00:16:01,077 --> 00:16:03,445
Wait, Martin Short is in the
video?
367
00:16:03,613 --> 00:16:05,447
Yeah, he... Ruxin!
368
00:16:07,793 --> 00:16:10,865
Oh, there's our guest of
honor Darren Sproles!
369
00:16:10,985 --> 00:16:12,852
Ellie, this is the highlight of
your existence.
370
00:16:12,987 --> 00:16:16,856
It is, babe. It's never going to get
better than this right now. Yeah...
371
00:16:16,991 --> 00:16:18,858
You know what, let's start
with a Dad picture.
372
00:16:18,993 --> 00:16:20,860
Yeah, we need a Dad picture.
Get in there.
373
00:16:20,995 --> 00:16:24,864
All right, ready? One, two...
Yeah! Yes!
374
00:16:24,999 --> 00:16:26,866
My turn! Look, I have to.
I'm sorry.
375
00:16:27,001 --> 00:16:29,168
Okay, all right.
Okay, you ready?
376
00:16:29,286 --> 00:16:33,089
All right. Uh, one, two...
Shiva-ship!
377
00:16:33,207 --> 00:16:35,091
What are you...?
What are you...?
378
00:16:35,209 --> 00:16:37,260
Did you get it?
No, no, no, no!
379
00:16:37,378 --> 00:16:39,462
What are you guys doing here?
We did not want to miss
380
00:16:39,596 --> 00:16:41,597
Ellie's special day.
Me neither.
381
00:16:41,715 --> 00:16:43,683
All right, just pace
yourselves. I get him first.
382
00:16:43,801 --> 00:16:45,685
What is your...?
Why are you squirming?
383
00:16:45,803 --> 00:16:47,687
What's your problem?
I have a U.T.I.
384
00:16:47,805 --> 00:16:49,689
What?
A urinary tract infection.
385
00:16:49,807 --> 00:16:51,691
It's no big deal.
Don't you get that by
386
00:16:51,809 --> 00:16:53,059
having sex with lots and lots
of people?
387
00:16:53,227 --> 00:16:56,187
Yeah, that's one way. One way you will
never get it. Okay, well, I got mine
388
00:16:56,230 --> 00:16:58,114
because I held in my pee too
long.
389
00:16:58,232 --> 00:17:00,116
The Seahawks have Beast
Mode and we have Yeast Mode.
390
00:17:00,234 --> 00:17:03,152
No Yeast Mode, okay?
I'm regular Andre.
391
00:17:03,287 --> 00:17:05,154
Uh-uh. From Tefl-Andre to
Yeast Mode.
392
00:17:05,289 --> 00:17:07,156
That is a punishment I can get
behind.
393
00:17:07,291 --> 00:17:09,251
Darren, what do you think?
No, no, please, Darren?
394
00:17:09,293 --> 00:17:11,160
No! Don't talk to him!
Hi, hi, uh, Mr. Sproles.
395
00:17:11,295 --> 00:17:13,162
I'm-I'm Pete Eckhart.
I'm just a huge fan.
396
00:17:13,297 --> 00:17:15,164
It's so great to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
397
00:17:15,299 --> 00:17:17,166
I'm, uh, Dr. Andre Nowzik.
I'm the number one plastic
398
00:17:17,301 --> 00:17:20,053
surgeon in Chicago, and, uh,
this is our friend Ruxin.
399
00:17:20,170 --> 00:17:22,388
It's such a treat that you're
there, Darren, especially since
400
00:17:22,506 --> 00:17:27,927
Jenny hates short people. What?
Ruxin... Really? Uh... no!
401
00:17:28,095 --> 00:17:31,764
That is so not true.
I love anything short.
402
00:17:31,899 --> 00:17:33,766
I love short people.
Are you hungry?
403
00:17:33,934 --> 00:17:35,768
You should have something to
eat before you dance the night
404
00:17:35,936 --> 00:17:38,020
away. Here you go.
Minis?
405
00:17:38,155 --> 00:17:40,022
What?
Minis?
406
00:17:40,157 --> 00:17:42,024
No! They're-they're fun size.
Fun size, huh?
407
00:17:42,159 --> 00:17:44,026
No!
Come on now.
408
00:17:44,161 --> 00:17:46,041
Oh, I didn't mean it like
that, come on, Darren!
409
00:17:46,163 --> 00:17:50,032
No, the truth is, Jenny has always
been a fan of the short players. Yes!
410
00:17:50,167 --> 00:17:54,036
You know, she keeps her fantasy
roster stacked with them. Yeah.
411
00:17:54,171 --> 00:17:56,038
Right now she got stuck with
Vincent Jackson.
412
00:17:56,173 --> 00:17:58,875
Oh, Vincent Jackson. (groans)
He's so tall.
413
00:17:59,009 --> 00:18:01,878
She's been clamoring to get
Tavon Austin off of my squad.
414
00:18:02,012 --> 00:18:06,048
Now, that's a small dude.
He is small. Yes.
415
00:18:06,183 --> 00:18:08,468
It's funny you mention that.
He is kind of small.
416
00:18:08,602 --> 00:18:13,272
I love small.
Okay, Pete, I will talk about
417
00:18:13,390 --> 00:18:15,475
that trade with you.
Let's go ahead and just make
418
00:18:15,609 --> 00:18:19,479
it official right here. No, I, I
have no interest in, uh... Shake!
419
00:18:19,613 --> 00:18:21,814
Shake on it, shake!
Quite a trade.
420
00:18:21,949 --> 00:18:24,283
Oh, yeah!
Quite a trade.
421
00:18:24,401 --> 00:18:26,481
Good grip there, Jenny.
I just want to say thank you.
422
00:18:26,487 --> 00:18:28,371
And I want to say thank you,
sir.
423
00:18:28,489 --> 00:18:30,373
Oh, anytime.
Well, I'm happy.
424
00:18:30,491 --> 00:18:32,825
Great trade, Jenny. (laughs)
Would you like to dance?
425
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:34,827
I'd love to.
Let's go.
426
00:18:34,962 --> 00:18:36,829
Have fun, guys.
Yeah.
427
00:18:36,964 --> 00:18:39,004
I got to hit the bathroom.
This U.T.I. is the worst.
428
00:18:39,049 --> 00:18:43,836
All right, just excuse
yourself that way, please.
429
00:18:43,971 --> 00:18:46,005
Oh, God! Oh, God!
Whoa! Closed!
430
00:18:46,140 --> 00:18:48,007
Andre, where are you taking me?
431
00:18:48,142 --> 00:18:50,009
Guys, I got to use the girl's
bathroom.
432
00:18:50,144 --> 00:18:52,011
No, no! No, Andre, don't!
No, Andre, no! No!
433
00:18:52,146 --> 00:18:57,650
Okay, I have an idea. Here. No! No! Oh,
my God! Oh, my God! Andre, stop it!
434
00:18:57,768 --> 00:18:58,828
Oh, my God! You're gonna get
arrested.
435
00:18:58,942 --> 00:19:00,826
It burns.
Ruxin?
436
00:19:00,944 --> 00:19:02,828
Wait, what's going on?
What-what are you showing me?
437
00:19:02,946 --> 00:19:06,031
Aw, middle school water fountain
forever unclean.
438
00:19:06,166 --> 00:19:10,035
Would you hurry up, please? You're gonna...
Okay, I'll go... You good?
439
00:19:10,203 --> 00:19:12,371
Oh, Mr. Lipscome!
How are you?
440
00:19:12,539 --> 00:19:14,373
MacArthur. Good.
Have you had an opportunity
441
00:19:14,541 --> 00:19:16,709
to meet Darren Sproles?
Oh! Oh, my God!
442
00:19:16,843 --> 00:19:20,713
Yes! Mr. Sproles, uh, Darren, it's such
an honor to meet you. How you doing?
443
00:19:20,847 --> 00:19:22,715
I'm a huge fan.
Well, thank you.
444
00:19:22,849 --> 00:19:24,717
I'm gonna go grab some water.
Uh, I can grab you a bottle
445
00:19:24,851 --> 00:19:26,731
of water over here.
Ah, no. Got a fountain right
446
00:19:26,853 --> 00:19:30,723
over here I can use. No! You cannot
use that water fountain! Why?
447
00:19:30,857 --> 00:19:33,025
No. Not for you.
There's a perfectly good
448
00:19:33,143 --> 00:19:35,894
fountain right there.
Wow, really-- the tiny water
449
00:19:36,029 --> 00:19:41,316
fountain? No, I didn't mean it like that.
Yeah, she did.
450
00:19:41,451 --> 00:19:43,736
You really got a problem with
short people, huh?
451
00:19:43,870 --> 00:19:45,821
No, I don't.
Oh, yes, she does.
452
00:19:45,955 --> 00:19:47,956
She's a height supremacist.
What? No!
453
00:19:48,074 --> 00:19:49,375
I love short people!
Come on, Darren, we don't
454
00:19:49,492 --> 00:19:50,793
need this.
Darren, I will play you next
455
00:19:50,910 --> 00:19:53,829
week even though you are mini
tiny tiny.
456
00:19:53,963 --> 00:19:55,831
God!
Great. Thank you.
457
00:19:55,965 --> 00:19:58,751
I got to pee again!
No, Yeast Mode!
458
00:19:59,721 --> 00:20:01,222
Well, at least Ellie's still
having a good time.
459
00:20:01,356 --> 00:20:03,224
That sucked.
Thanks a lot, Yeast Mode.
460
00:20:03,358 --> 00:20:05,392
It's not my fault.
I have a U.T.I. and a gluten
461
00:20:05,527 --> 00:20:07,611
allergy, thank you very much.
Can someone point me towards
462
00:20:07,729 --> 00:20:09,613
Jenny?
I want to see her suffer.
463
00:20:09,731 --> 00:20:12,283
Hi, Ruxin. How are you?
(Ruxin yells)
464
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:15,870
Ah, gentlemen.
I have some huge Taco Corp news.
465
00:20:15,987 --> 00:20:18,122
Yeah? What's going on?
Taco Corp has officially
466
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:25,676
sold the EBDB. Really? How much
you get for it? Uh, $1.1 million.
467
00:20:25,796 --> 00:20:27,847
What?
Mm-hmm.
468
00:20:27,965 --> 00:20:29,849
Wait, who gave you a million
dollars for that?
469
00:20:29,967 --> 00:20:32,185
It was my good friend Mark
from Cuba.
470
00:20:32,303 --> 00:20:36,105
Whoa.
Hey, Taco, what's cracking?
471
00:20:36,223 --> 00:20:40,226
Hey, Mark. How's Cuba? Wait, Mark
from Cuba is Mark Cuban? Duh.
472
00:20:40,361 --> 00:20:42,729
Yeah, how do you know Mark?
From Shark Tank.
473
00:20:42,897 --> 00:20:45,865
Taco, I love the EBDB, man.
I see it as a radical new
474
00:20:45,983 --> 00:20:47,734
platform in the social media
space.
475
00:20:47,868 --> 00:20:50,069
Bro, man, we got to incubate
this thing.
476
00:20:50,237 --> 00:20:52,398
Hey! That-That's what I said!
You should have invested,
477
00:20:52,456 --> 00:20:54,874
man, ha!
Oh, Pete! You could have
478
00:20:54,992 --> 00:20:57,744
made so much money if you'd
stuck with Taco Corp.
479
00:20:57,912 --> 00:20:59,913
(bleep) my life!
See you, bro.
480
00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:02,498
Hi, Mark, if I can, I have a
pitch.
481
00:21:02,633 --> 00:21:05,752
It's called Smooth-eHarmony and
it's a dating site and a
482
00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:08,054
smoothie service...
See you, Mark.
483
00:21:08,172 --> 00:21:10,423
Ah, it was a million dollar
idea.
484
00:21:10,557 --> 00:21:12,675
You know what?
Now that I have a bit of money,
485
00:21:12,810 --> 00:21:14,761
I think I will buy that house.
Yes, you should and I should
486
00:21:14,895 --> 00:21:16,763
absolutely be your real estate
agent.
487
00:21:16,897 --> 00:21:20,767
Yes. Mm, I don't think you're tall
enough for me.
488
00:21:20,901 --> 00:21:23,759
Does this place have a bathroom?
Yeah, it's behind the kiosk.
489
00:21:23,997 --> 00:21:25,280
Okay, good.
I go in the tire.
490
00:21:25,517 --> 00:21:35,863
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
491
00:21:35,913 --> 00:21:40,463
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
41467
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
