Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,894 --> 00:00:03,960
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
(crying): Oh, my God!
2
00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:06,200
Brian, Spaz is dead!
KEVIN: I don't know who
3
00:00:06,202 --> 00:00:08,269
that is.
Oh, no!
4
00:00:08,271 --> 00:00:11,439
(sobs) No...
Hey!
5
00:00:11,441 --> 00:00:13,441
ANDRE: Well...
PETE: All right.
6
00:00:13,443 --> 00:00:15,476
There we go.
RUXIN: What's going on, guys?
7
00:00:15,478 --> 00:00:17,478
Just Rafi being Rafi.
Guys, I got bad news.
8
00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:19,480
I got to go deal with a case in
Houston again, tomorrow.
9
00:00:19,482 --> 00:00:21,482
(mocking): Aw.
These shrimp fishermen are
10
00:00:21,484 --> 00:00:23,384
suing an oil company, and I'm
like, "What are you gonna cook
11
00:00:23,386 --> 00:00:26,988
your shrimp in?" Is that your
opening argument? Basically.
12
00:00:26,990 --> 00:00:28,623
TACO: Fishermen are such
dicks.
13
00:00:28,625 --> 00:00:30,625
Well, if you're gonna be in
Houston, you should hit up J.J.
14
00:00:30,627 --> 00:00:32,327
Watt.
I keep calling him.
15
00:00:32,329 --> 00:00:34,329
I guess he changed his number.
His Twitter must be broken,
16
00:00:34,331 --> 00:00:36,064
too.
I've been DM'ing him. Nothing.
17
00:00:36,066 --> 00:00:38,066
You know what, you have not
invited us to your house in a
18
00:00:38,068 --> 00:00:40,068
while.
I want to make sure that the
19
00:00:40,070 --> 00:00:42,070
Ruxin is proudly displayed on
your mantel.
20
00:00:42,072 --> 00:00:44,138
You talking about the Sacko?
I am talking about the trophy
21
00:00:44,140 --> 00:00:47,342
formerly known as the Sacko, now
called the Ruxin.
22
00:00:47,344 --> 00:00:49,677
Exhibit "A": your address.
Don't you worry your cute
23
00:00:49,679 --> 00:00:51,679
little pancake face about it.
It's there, it's up.
24
00:00:51,681 --> 00:00:53,681
I'm not buying it.
Something's fishy, man.
25
00:00:53,683 --> 00:00:55,783
What we should be worrying
about is people changing team
26
00:00:55,785 --> 00:00:57,785
names mid-season.
Well, I had to.
27
00:00:57,787 --> 00:00:59,787
Ellie was asking too many
questions about "The Pleasures
28
00:00:59,789 --> 00:01:01,789
of Andre's Sister."
Well, we have all the answers
29
00:01:01,791 --> 00:01:03,858
for her, just...
Yeah, that's what I'm trying
30
00:01:03,860 --> 00:01:05,493
to avoid.
So we just changed it to
31
00:01:05,495 --> 00:01:08,029
something a little more G-rated.
"Too Hot to Handle"?
32
00:01:08,031 --> 00:01:10,031
Yeah, I like it.
This is something you're
33
00:01:10,033 --> 00:01:12,200
gonna have to worry about once
Geoffrey starts asking questions
34
00:01:12,202 --> 00:01:14,202
about your team name.
Oh, "Pete Top/Kevin Bottom"?
35
00:01:14,204 --> 00:01:16,270
No, I didn't have to explain it
to him.
36
00:01:16,272 --> 00:01:18,106
He intuitively understood that
you were the submissive.
37
00:01:18,108 --> 00:01:21,876
(chuckles) Now that everyone's here,
I have a big announcement to make...
38
00:01:21,878 --> 00:01:24,645
(inhales) Uncle Frank died.
What?
39
00:01:24,647 --> 00:01:30,718
But the good news is he left me...
his van. Whoa, rapist van!
40
00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:32,720
You got the van?
It's like brand-new.
41
00:01:32,722 --> 00:01:34,722
When he became handicapped, he
couldn't drive it anymore.
42
00:01:34,724 --> 00:01:36,724
Which means Taco Corp finally
has a headquarters.
43
00:01:36,726 --> 00:01:38,726
Y'all know that was the only
thing holding me back.
44
00:01:38,728 --> 00:01:40,561
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You were right there, you
45
00:01:40,563 --> 00:01:44,198
know? I have so many plans for this thing.
Let us know when you're gonna
46
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:46,200
do the anniversary of you
getting molested in there.
47
00:01:46,202 --> 00:01:48,302
I wasn't molested.
It was "Secret Wrestling Camp."
48
00:01:48,304 --> 00:01:50,405
Okay, I'm out.
So much fun.
49
00:01:50,407 --> 00:01:52,183
Ah... whoa!
50
00:01:52,303 --> 00:01:59,025
"Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com"
51
00:02:00,369 --> 00:02:02,919
What's going on up here?
I am cleaning out the guest
52
00:02:02,921 --> 00:02:04,921
bedroom while you're out of
town, so if there is anything
53
00:02:04,923 --> 00:02:07,490
you want to save, you better
grab it now because it is going
54
00:02:07,492 --> 00:02:09,481
in the trash if not.
Okay, babe.
55
00:02:11,153 --> 00:02:14,125
(whistling)
(clicks tongue) Oh.
56
00:02:14,242 --> 00:02:18,444
This can go.
Later, buddy.
57
00:02:18,446 --> 00:02:26,552
Pete's records... can go.
Whoa, the old porn stash.
58
00:02:26,554 --> 00:02:29,489
What was I doing buying this?
Oh, 'cause of her.
59
00:02:29,491 --> 00:02:31,123
Rodney?
Yeah, babe!
60
00:02:31,125 --> 00:02:32,758
How's it going?
Good.
61
00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:34,794
Okay, I'm gonna empty out the
closet.
62
00:02:34,796 --> 00:02:38,798
I'm gonna continue to do
things that are normal.
63
00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:40,833
(line ringing)
Hey.
64
00:02:40,835 --> 00:02:42,835
You still good to drive me to
the airport tomorrow?
65
00:02:42,837 --> 00:02:44,504
Yeah, I'll pick you up on the
way.
66
00:02:44,506 --> 00:02:46,506
Okay, we need to leave a few
minutes early so I can throw
67
00:02:46,508 --> 00:02:48,508
some stuff away in a Dumpster.
What did you do, Ruxin?
68
00:02:48,510 --> 00:02:50,510
I didn't do anything.
I just have some old porn that
69
00:02:50,512 --> 00:02:52,512
I need to get rid of.
You don't want it?
70
00:02:52,514 --> 00:02:54,514
No, I don't want your porn.
I've got the Internet and my
71
00:02:54,516 --> 00:02:56,516
dark thoughts, thank you.
I guess it is a little "Too
72
00:02:56,518 --> 00:02:58,284
Hot to Handle."
Road trip! (laughter)
73
00:02:58,286 --> 00:03:00,286
(tires screeching)
Did you hear that?
74
00:03:00,288 --> 00:03:02,088
So you got me tomorrow morning?
75
00:03:02,090 --> 00:03:04,156
I will be at your house in
the morning.
76
00:03:04,158 --> 00:03:06,592
Okay, thanks. I love you.
Don't... say that.
77
00:03:06,594 --> 00:03:09,161
Hey, babe?
I'm gonna take one of these
78
00:03:09,163 --> 00:03:11,163
boxes to the bathroom and
just sort through it.
79
00:03:11,165 --> 00:03:14,000
Bye.
Honey?
80
00:03:14,002 --> 00:03:16,002
What are you doing out here?
I-I'm waiting for Kevin to
81
00:03:16,004 --> 00:03:18,337
pick me up.
He's late.
82
00:03:18,339 --> 00:03:20,473
Uh, what's in the box?
Oh, it's, uh, work stuff.
83
00:03:20,475 --> 00:03:23,276
Ah! It's, uh, evidence.
I don't want to implicate you.
84
00:03:23,278 --> 00:03:25,344
I... love you too much.
Okay.
85
00:03:25,346 --> 00:03:26,979
Thanks, babe.
(phone rings)
86
00:03:26,981 --> 00:03:32,051
Oh, this-this better be Kevin.
Hi. Where are you?
87
00:03:32,053 --> 00:03:34,787
I'm late for the airport.
My car is gone, Ruxin!
88
00:03:34,789 --> 00:03:37,023
It's gone!
And judging by the hot steamer
89
00:03:37,025 --> 00:03:39,458
that someone left in my bushes
with Hubba Bubba in it, I think
90
00:03:39,460 --> 00:03:41,460
Rafi stole it.
Yeah, well, what about my
91
00:03:41,462 --> 00:03:43,129
ride?
It's too late to call a cab now.
92
00:03:43,131 --> 00:03:45,131
Your ride?
I'm dealing with a crime scene
93
00:03:45,133 --> 00:03:46,832
on my driveway, Ruxin.
There are dolls with syringes
94
00:03:46,834 --> 00:03:48,701
in it.
When are you picking me up?
95
00:03:48,703 --> 00:03:50,703
What about my car?!
Airport.
96
00:03:50,705 --> 00:03:52,338
Car!
Airport!
97
00:03:52,340 --> 00:03:56,208
Car! Ah... Babe, I can take you.
Oh, okay, great.
98
00:03:56,210 --> 00:03:58,210
Uh, let me just, uh, throw this
away real quick and...
99
00:03:58,212 --> 00:04:03,749
What? No, that is evidence.
Right, it's... evidence.
100
00:04:03,751 --> 00:04:09,155
Oh, what have you seen?
Jenny!
101
00:04:09,157 --> 00:04:11,157
Thank you for forgiving me.
You're very welcome.
102
00:04:11,159 --> 00:04:13,159
All right.
Made it on time.
103
00:04:13,161 --> 00:04:14,994
Yeah. Yep, yep, yep.
Text me when you get in.
104
00:04:14,996 --> 00:04:16,596
Call you as soon as I get
there.
105
00:04:16,598 --> 00:04:18,698
I love you, babe. Bye.
I love you, too. Bye.
106
00:04:18,700 --> 00:04:21,000
I love you.
Love you! Bye!
107
00:04:21,002 --> 00:04:22,602
I got to get rid of this porn.
108
00:04:22,604 --> 00:04:24,604
All right.
Hey, what's up, man?
109
00:04:24,606 --> 00:04:26,505
How you doing? Good to see you.
Here, take this. Just take it.
110
00:04:26,507 --> 00:04:28,507
You want me to take your box?
Yeah.
111
00:04:28,509 --> 00:04:30,110
What is it?
It doesn't matter what it is.
112
00:04:30,111 --> 00:04:33,779
Just take it. I want to know what's in that box.
Fine, it's-it's porn.
113
00:04:33,781 --> 00:04:35,781
Check it out.
It's, like, dirty stuff, too.
114
00:04:35,783 --> 00:04:37,783
Like "choke 'em out" stuff.
God, you're freaking me out,
115
00:04:37,785 --> 00:04:39,785
man.
No, there's, like, "really
116
00:04:39,787 --> 00:04:41,420
hairy bush" stuff.
Use the Internet like the
117
00:04:41,422 --> 00:04:43,422
rest of us, pal.
Some of us like vintage
118
00:04:43,424 --> 00:04:45,591
stuff, bro!
Never forget your roots!
119
00:04:45,593 --> 00:04:49,028
Goddamn it. I just need to get
on my flight.
120
00:04:49,030 --> 00:04:51,030
Sir?
You can't leave this box here.
121
00:04:51,032 --> 00:04:53,032
(nasally): I can't hear.
No, sir, you need to take the
122
00:04:53,034 --> 00:04:54,800
box with you.
No, it's cool, man.
123
00:04:54,802 --> 00:04:56,869
No, no, it's not cool.
It's cool, bro.
124
00:04:56,871 --> 00:04:58,471
Sir, this box cannot stay here.
125
00:04:58,473 --> 00:05:00,473
Okay, you know what, man?
It's filled with porn.
126
00:05:00,475 --> 00:05:02,475
You can have all of it.
What do you think?
127
00:05:02,477 --> 00:05:04,644
I don't want your porn, sir.
Well, what about some, like,
128
00:05:04,646 --> 00:05:06,379
"hood rat" shit?
Is that what you want?
129
00:05:06,381 --> 00:05:08,381
Listen, I see something, I
have to say something.
130
00:05:08,383 --> 00:05:10,383
If you see an interracial
gang bang, you could say you
131
00:05:10,385 --> 00:05:12,385
want it.
Now you're offending me.
132
00:05:12,387 --> 00:05:14,587
Take the box and go.
There's gay stuff.
133
00:05:14,589 --> 00:05:16,656
I don't even know how it ended
up in the box!
134
00:05:16,658 --> 00:05:18,290
(whistles) Taxi!
Hey.
135
00:05:18,292 --> 00:05:20,159
Hey, man, where you going?
Uh, just the box, actually.
136
00:05:20,161 --> 00:05:22,161
Huh? No, I don't want this
box.
137
00:05:22,163 --> 00:05:24,096
Just drive it to the city
limits-- that's all I'm asking.
138
00:05:24,098 --> 00:05:25,931
Hey! Hey, get out of my cab.
I don't want that box...
139
00:05:25,933 --> 00:05:27,933
I'm not getting in your cab.
There's no need for this.
140
00:05:27,935 --> 00:05:29,802
Is there a problem here?
This terrorist is trying to
141
00:05:29,804 --> 00:05:31,804
give me this box.
Terrorist?
142
00:05:31,806 --> 00:05:33,572
I'm not a terrorist.
Sir, what's in the box?
143
00:05:33,574 --> 00:05:35,574
Nothing's in the box.
I'm just running late for my
144
00:05:35,576 --> 00:05:37,476
flight.
It's filled with porn.
145
00:05:37,478 --> 00:05:39,478
It's not like it's a bomb.
Bomb! He said "bomb"!
146
00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:41,647
No, not a bomb!
On the hood of the car now!
147
00:05:41,649 --> 00:05:43,482
No, not a bomb! I'm say...
Spread 'em!
148
00:05:43,484 --> 00:05:45,651
I'm saying "Not a bomb"!
Stop saying "bomb," sir.
149
00:05:45,653 --> 00:05:47,653
I'm not saying "bomb"!
You hold on to that box, you
150
00:05:47,655 --> 00:05:49,321
sick son of a bitch.
There's no bomb in here.
151
00:05:49,323 --> 00:05:51,157
Stop saying "bomb"!
I'm not saying "bomb"!
152
00:05:52,987 --> 00:05:57,242
Behold, Taco Corp's latest
venture, Taco's Truck.
153
00:05:58,032 --> 00:06:00,311
He turned Uncle Frank's van
into a food truck?
154
00:06:00,431 --> 00:06:02,949
Where do you go for
mouthwatering food?
155
00:06:03,204 --> 00:06:07,272
Nowhere, we come right to you
It's Taco's Truck
156
00:06:07,274 --> 00:06:13,212
Taco's Truck Grab yourself some
grub at
Taco's Truck Taco's Truck
157
00:06:13,214 --> 00:06:17,716
Taco's Truck
Makes you feel full as...
158
00:06:17,718 --> 00:06:20,019
anything
Well, looks like he's got the
159
00:06:20,021 --> 00:06:22,021
brightest minds at Taco Corp
marketing this.
160
00:06:22,023 --> 00:06:24,757
Taco's Truck For burgers!
161
00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:27,426
Taco's Truck For hot dogs!
162
00:06:27,428 --> 00:06:30,195
Taco's Truck For wings!
163
00:06:30,197 --> 00:06:33,465
And all sorts of classic
American things
164
00:06:33,467 --> 00:06:35,534
Taco's Truck.
JENNY: He's calling it
165
00:06:35,536 --> 00:06:38,237
"Taco's Truck," but he's not
serving Mexican food.
166
00:06:38,239 --> 00:06:40,873
We even have a patio where
you can sit back, relax and
167
00:06:40,875 --> 00:06:44,443
enjoy some ice-cold Three Penis
Wine Coolers alfresco.
168
00:06:44,445 --> 00:06:46,445
(buzzing)
Oh, get out of here, you little
169
00:06:46,447 --> 00:06:49,314
bastard.
Get out! Oh. (chuckles)
170
00:06:49,316 --> 00:06:52,117
Think his special sauce is
bug spray?
171
00:06:52,119 --> 00:06:54,586
Taco's Truck has earned four
Michelin tires.
172
00:06:54,588 --> 00:06:56,588
Ooh, that's interesting.
No, it's not.
173
00:06:56,590 --> 00:06:58,624
Nothing says "classic
American fare" like "Taco's
174
00:06:58,626 --> 00:07:03,095
Truck."
Ow! You... Ah, son of a bitch!
175
00:07:03,097 --> 00:07:05,497
Oh, sweet Jesus.
You guys really needed four
176
00:07:05,499 --> 00:07:08,233
hours to prove that a box of
porn was, in fact, a box of
177
00:07:08,235 --> 00:07:10,402
porn?
I take my job very seriously.
178
00:07:10,404 --> 00:07:12,604
Don't forget your filth.
(mocking): "Don't forget your
179
00:07:12,606 --> 00:07:15,007
filth."
Adios, wanker.
180
00:07:15,009 --> 00:07:20,145
(phone ringing)
(groans)
181
00:07:20,147 --> 00:07:22,581
(groans)
Hey, babe.
182
00:07:22,583 --> 00:07:24,650
I haven't heard from you.
How's Houston?
183
00:07:24,652 --> 00:07:26,819
Oh, how's Houston?
You're not gonna believe...
184
00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:29,488
how hot and muggy it is here.
I miss you.
185
00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:31,490
I miss you.It's gonna be so hard to be
186
00:07:31,492 --> 00:07:33,492
away from you for the wholeweek.
187
00:07:33,494 --> 00:07:35,494
But I love you.I'm gonna miss you so much.
188
00:07:35,496 --> 00:07:37,629
Mwah.Bye, baby.
189
00:07:37,631 --> 00:07:39,698
So, Sofia still thinksyou're in Houston?
190
00:07:39,700 --> 00:07:42,167
Yeah, I decided it was a badidea to tell her that I was
191
00:07:42,169 --> 00:07:47,306
busted at the airport for 23pounds of vintage pornography.
192
00:07:47,308 --> 00:07:49,641
Look, all I got to do is covera few hours of videoconferencing
193
00:07:49,643 --> 00:07:51,844
to Houston, and then the rest ofthe week is mine.
194
00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:53,846
Oh, Ruxin's got himself alittle bye week.
195
00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:55,848
Sofia gets Terrific LadyDays-- I'm gonna get myself a
196
00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:57,850
Terrific Ruxin Week.Yeah! Sounds like somebody's
197
00:07:57,852 --> 00:07:59,551
gonna have an affair.You want me to go have an
198
00:07:59,553 --> 00:08:01,553
affair?Sounds like you want to have
199
00:08:01,555 --> 00:08:03,222
an affair.Sounds like you want to have
200
00:08:03,224 --> 00:08:05,224
an affair.
I would never have an affair.
201
00:08:05,226 --> 00:08:06,992
Why?
Fear.
202
00:08:06,994 --> 00:08:09,061
Look, as long as Sofia and
Rafi don't see me, I am good
203
00:08:09,063 --> 00:08:11,163
to go.
You don't have to worry about
204
00:08:11,165 --> 00:08:13,165
Rafi-- Rafi's off in California
committing crimes with my
205
00:08:13,167 --> 00:08:15,167
vehicle.
Hello, boys.
206
00:08:15,169 --> 00:08:17,169
You no longer have to eat this
garbage because Taco's Truck is
207
00:08:17,171 --> 00:08:19,238
up and running.
Great.
208
00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:21,306
Sign me up for some nachos.
No, we don't sell those.
209
00:08:21,308 --> 00:08:22,908
Why does everyone keep asking
that?
210
00:08:22,910 --> 00:08:24,910
Anyway, I'd love for you guys to
come by, sample some food.
211
00:08:24,912 --> 00:08:26,712
And like us on "MyFace"-- we're
trying to spread the word
212
00:08:26,714 --> 00:08:28,714
off-line.
Absolutely not.
213
00:08:28,716 --> 00:08:30,516
I got to get out of here.
I got to get back to work.
214
00:08:30,518 --> 00:08:32,417
Before you guys go, can I
crash at one of your places this
215
00:08:32,419 --> 00:08:36,054
week? Why don't you just get a hotel?
No paper trail-- can't use a
216
00:08:36,056 --> 00:08:37,689
credit card, no ATM machines,
nothing.
217
00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:41,326
Can't stay at my place. Yeah, it's
too soon after Trixie. Who's Trixie?
218
00:08:41,328 --> 00:08:43,061
I have a date this week, so
you're out of luck.
219
00:08:43,063 --> 00:08:45,063
I guess you could stay with
me-- I'm only using two thirds
220
00:08:45,065 --> 00:08:47,166
of my bed right now.
It's not gonna be a free ride,
221
00:08:47,168 --> 00:08:49,168
though-- you're gonna work with
me on the truck.
222
00:08:49,170 --> 00:08:50,769
Or go back to your wife and
kids.
223
00:08:50,771 --> 00:08:54,573
Mmm. Think I'll work for this
bucket of meat loaf. Meat loaf.
224
00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:56,575
We should serve that.
That's a good idea.
225
00:08:56,577 --> 00:08:58,610
Honestly, doing menial labor
is like spring break compared to
226
00:08:58,612 --> 00:09:01,046
taking care of my child.
All right, let's get to work.
227
00:09:01,048 --> 00:09:03,048
Grab all of this stuff.
Mmm.
228
00:09:03,050 --> 00:09:05,050
I don't have any plates.
Here, Ruxin, why don't you
229
00:09:05,052 --> 00:09:06,685
take this with you.
Cutlery.
230
00:09:06,687 --> 00:09:08,687
Enjoy yourself.
I don't regret my decision.
231
00:09:08,689 --> 00:09:12,391
Get to work! Let's go!
Hi.
232
00:09:12,393 --> 00:09:14,393
Hi. Is your husband home?
No.
233
00:09:14,395 --> 00:09:16,395
I thought you already knew.
He's in Houston.
234
00:09:16,397 --> 00:09:20,399
Houston. Well, do you mind if we come
in and have a look around? Uh...
235
00:09:20,401 --> 00:09:24,069
Just a few questions.
Lovely home.
236
00:09:24,071 --> 00:09:26,071
It'd be a shame to lose it.
I'm really sorry for the
237
00:09:26,073 --> 00:09:28,073
mess.
It's really difficult having a
238
00:09:28,075 --> 00:09:29,708
baby...
Did you have to wear the hat?
239
00:09:29,710 --> 00:09:31,710
What? I never get a chance to
wear it.
240
00:09:31,712 --> 00:09:37,649
God. So... (chuckles) So...
Sofia.
241
00:09:37,651 --> 00:09:39,985
Is that a hearth?
That's a hearth.
242
00:09:39,987 --> 00:09:42,254
Ever put anything on that
hearth?
243
00:09:42,256 --> 00:09:44,256
Plants.
Hmm.
244
00:09:44,258 --> 00:09:46,391
(whispers): Andre.
One second.
245
00:09:46,393 --> 00:09:48,393
Got to talk to my partner.
(whispers): What's up?
246
00:09:48,395 --> 00:09:52,397
Mmm. Can I get you guys anything to drink?
No, I think we'll ask the
247
00:09:52,399 --> 00:09:58,437
questions from here. We'll ask
the questions... from here. Go.
248
00:09:58,439 --> 00:10:00,439
Go ahead.
(quietly): What do you mean,
249
00:10:00,441 --> 00:10:02,074
"go ahead"?
I thought you had a question.
250
00:10:02,076 --> 00:10:04,643
I just teed you up.
That was for you.
251
00:10:04,645 --> 00:10:07,346
How's your day?
Oh, God. Okay.
252
00:10:07,348 --> 00:10:09,348
Have you seen a large, mounted
bust of Ruxin?
253
00:10:09,350 --> 00:10:11,083
No, I haven't.
Never seen it?
254
00:10:11,085 --> 00:10:12,684
No.
Never ever?
255
00:10:12,686 --> 00:10:14,686
No.
Never ever, ever?
256
00:10:14,688 --> 00:10:16,788
No.
So you never ever, ever,
257
00:10:16,790 --> 00:10:19,791
ever, never ever, ever, ever,
ever, forever ever saw it?
258
00:10:19,793 --> 00:10:21,793
No.
Ever.
259
00:10:21,795 --> 00:10:23,862
No.
Oh, I eat people like you for
260
00:10:23,864 --> 00:10:26,932
breakfast and shit you out
before I'm even done with my
261
00:10:26,934 --> 00:10:29,534
first cup of coffee.
(sighs)
262
00:10:29,536 --> 00:10:31,770
So if that's your story and
you're sticking to it...
263
00:10:31,772 --> 00:10:33,805
Mm-hmm.
...then you'd have no problem
264
00:10:33,807 --> 00:10:35,807
having us take a look around the
house.
265
00:10:35,809 --> 00:10:37,809
That's right.
I'll start in the kitchen.
266
00:10:37,811 --> 00:10:40,512
Uh-uh. I don't think so.
Ow, ow...
267
00:10:40,514 --> 00:10:42,881
You and that stupid, ugly
hat, get out of my house.
268
00:10:42,883 --> 00:10:44,883
I never get a chance to wear
it.
269
00:10:44,885 --> 00:10:47,552
Man, she's mean.
Yeah.
270
00:10:47,554 --> 00:10:50,889
Holy shit.
She threw it away.
271
00:10:50,891 --> 00:10:54,326
Uh-uh. He threw it out.
That is low.
272
00:10:54,328 --> 00:10:56,695
Oh, my God.
My Shore record.
273
00:10:56,697 --> 00:10:58,363
I was looking for this.
Wait a second.
274
00:10:58,365 --> 00:11:00,399
This is a jacket that I gave
Ruxin for his birthday.
275
00:11:00,401 --> 00:11:04,069
And a matching hat. Here, you hold
this, I'll get that, okay. Okay.
276
00:11:04,071 --> 00:11:05,804
Let's get out of here.
All right.
277
00:11:05,806 --> 00:11:11,901
Okay. I need two orders of chicken
wings and a lemonade at table three.
278
00:11:11,903 --> 00:11:13,769
Two order chicken wings,
lemonade, coming at table three.
279
00:11:13,771 --> 00:11:15,605
All right, hurry it up!
Hey.
280
00:11:15,607 --> 00:11:18,741
Hi. Welcome to Taco's Truck.
I'm Taco. What can I get you?
281
00:11:18,743 --> 00:11:21,477
I'd like a chicken burrito.
No, we don't do burritos.
282
00:11:21,479 --> 00:11:23,613
Oh, chicken nachos.
No, no chicken nachos.
283
00:11:23,615 --> 00:11:25,615
It's just American food.
Well, it's a taco truck.
284
00:11:25,617 --> 00:11:28,451
It's Taco's Truck.
Read the menu.
285
00:11:28,453 --> 00:11:31,454
It's "T-A-C-O-
uppercase comma-S."
286
00:11:31,456 --> 00:11:33,289
Yeah, all right, uh, uh,
cheeseburger.
287
00:11:33,291 --> 00:11:35,291
Thank you. It's about time.
Cheeseburger!
288
00:11:35,293 --> 00:11:37,226
Hamburger with cheese coming
up.
289
00:11:37,228 --> 00:11:39,795
And where are those fries?
Table three's waiting.
290
00:11:39,797 --> 00:11:41,631
Sorry, he's new.
I'll be right back.
291
00:11:41,633 --> 00:11:44,767
Yeah.
Ow... ow.
292
00:11:44,769 --> 00:11:46,602
Hey, shit-sipper, you're six
orders behind.
293
00:11:46,604 --> 00:11:48,504
What's going on?
I'm cooking as fast as I can.
294
00:11:48,506 --> 00:11:50,439
You got a tiny hibachi here.
You're not supposed to cook
295
00:11:50,441 --> 00:11:52,174
all the way through the meat.
Yeah, you are.
296
00:11:52,176 --> 00:11:53,943
Leave it raw on the inside.
You're wasting heat.
297
00:11:53,945 --> 00:11:55,745
By the way, you don't have
any soap left.
298
00:11:55,747 --> 00:11:57,647
I can't wash my hands with
anything.
299
00:11:57,649 --> 00:11:59,615
Oh, princess wants me soap.
Ruxin, I don't think you realize
300
00:11:59,617 --> 00:12:01,350
this, but the stuff I steal
costs money.
301
00:12:01,352 --> 00:12:03,319
Yeah.
And why aren't you wearing
302
00:12:03,321 --> 00:12:05,154
the hairnet I gave you?
'Cause the hairnet you gave
303
00:12:05,156 --> 00:12:08,090
me is just a lacy thong, and
from how stiff it is, I believe
304
00:12:08,092 --> 00:12:10,092
it's been used.
Of course it's used.
305
00:12:10,094 --> 00:12:13,029
That helps it catch the hair.
Just... hurry up.
306
00:12:13,031 --> 00:12:14,964
Sorry about that.
Can I add a churro, please?
307
00:12:14,966 --> 00:12:16,766
No, we don't serve Italian
food, either.
308
00:12:16,768 --> 00:12:18,534
The only non-American item we
have is Three Penis Wine, and
309
00:12:18,536 --> 00:12:20,202
that's Chinese.
Three Penis Wine?
310
00:12:20,204 --> 00:12:22,138
Three Penis Wine!
No, no, no, I don't want one.
311
00:12:22,140 --> 00:12:24,040
Three Penis Wine coming up.
No.
312
00:12:24,042 --> 00:12:27,710
Thank you. No refunds, sir. I don't
want a Three Penis Wine. Another one?
313
00:12:27,712 --> 00:12:29,478
Two Three Penis Wines!
No, no, no, no, not two...
314
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:33,316
Six Penises Wine. I don't want any
Three Penis Wine. Curly fries are up.
315
00:12:33,318 --> 00:12:35,184
About time.
What are you doing in there?
316
00:12:35,186 --> 00:12:37,653
Been drinking some of the
Three Penis Wine.
317
00:12:37,655 --> 00:12:39,789
Can't blame you for that.
All right, hurry up.
318
00:12:39,791 --> 00:12:41,624
You're drinking that?
Yeah, I'm flipping the
319
00:12:41,626 --> 00:12:44,026
burgers with my donger; it's
rock-hard.
320
00:12:44,028 --> 00:12:45,962
Okay, I'll try one, then.
Can you believe these idiots?
321
00:12:45,964 --> 00:12:47,863
Everyone keeps ordering Mexican
food.
322
00:12:47,865 --> 00:12:49,999
I swear, I'm just gonna shut
this truck down and open a food
323
00:12:50,001 --> 00:12:51,701
stand instead.
Taco stand.
324
00:12:51,703 --> 00:12:53,636
Taco's stand.
Hmm, I think you'll find
325
00:12:53,638 --> 00:12:55,638
you'll have a similar problem.
I don't follow.
326
00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:57,306
Why would you?
Where's my sandwich?
327
00:12:57,308 --> 00:12:59,175
All right, tuna melt's coming.
328
00:12:59,177 --> 00:13:00,843
Hamburger with cheese.
Great, thanks.
329
00:13:00,845 --> 00:13:02,678
Just keep it, man.
Oh, keep the change.
330
00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:04,513
All right.
Still no Mexican?
331
00:13:04,515 --> 00:13:06,349
No, but the wings are
delicious.
332
00:13:06,351 --> 00:13:08,150
Yeah, I thought at least
they'd have a chalupa, right?
333
00:13:08,152 --> 00:13:11,754
Oh, shit, I have to put Chalupa down
before Jenny gets home. I got to go.
334
00:13:11,756 --> 00:13:13,422
I'll see you guys later.
All right.
335
00:13:13,424 --> 00:13:15,591
Well, now that I've made my nut
for the day, I think I'm gonna
336
00:13:15,593 --> 00:13:17,259
take off.
You know what?
337
00:13:17,261 --> 00:13:18,928
You're in trouble.
You have not been proudly
338
00:13:18,930 --> 00:13:20,763
displaying the Ruxin on your
mantel.
339
00:13:20,765 --> 00:13:22,698
Busted.
Oh, wait, did Sofia try to
340
00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:24,567
throw that out?
Bullshit. Don't give me that.
341
00:13:24,569 --> 00:13:26,335
You orchestrated this whole
thing so she would throw it
342
00:13:26,337 --> 00:13:28,404
away.
I don't know, it was on the
343
00:13:28,406 --> 00:13:30,172
mantel when I left.
You know how those Latin ladies
344
00:13:30,174 --> 00:13:32,942
are.
They got a mind in their own.
345
00:13:32,944 --> 00:13:35,411
(chuckles)
Look, I'm gonna get out of here,
346
00:13:35,413 --> 00:13:38,581
go drink a good bottle of red
wine, watch an action movie, and
347
00:13:38,583 --> 00:13:41,384
rosterbate to my lineup till the
sky rains yogurt.
348
00:13:41,386 --> 00:13:46,222
Peaces. Ruxin, you forgot to clock out.
Ugh, he's the worst, and I'm
349
00:13:46,224 --> 00:13:48,591
pretty sure he's stealing some
of my stolen stuff.
350
00:13:48,593 --> 00:13:51,060
Oh, he's gonna get it.
351
00:13:51,062 --> 00:13:55,131
Hey, I'm home.
352
00:13:55,133 --> 00:14:03,539
Happy sexiversary. Yeah, I know,
that-that's why I rushed home. Good.
353
00:14:03,541 --> 00:14:05,741
I'm glad you did.
Wow, you look amazing.
354
00:14:05,743 --> 00:14:07,410
Thank you.
Come here.
355
00:14:07,412 --> 00:14:10,880
Yeah.
Mmm.
356
00:14:10,882 --> 00:14:13,149
Let's go upstairs.
Mmm, let's do it here.
357
00:14:13,151 --> 00:14:16,419
Okay, yeah, let's do it here.
Yeah.
358
00:14:16,421 --> 00:14:19,088
Your team name, by the way, it's
so lame.
359
00:14:19,090 --> 00:14:21,924
Well, you never know.
I could be too hot to handle.
360
00:14:21,926 --> 00:14:24,860
Really?
Okay, let's just...
361
00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:29,158
Mommy, I'm hungry.
362
00:14:29,398 --> 00:14:30,397
I want food.
363
00:14:30,399 --> 00:14:31,298
Just a minute, honey.
364
00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:32,132
It's coming, okay?
365
00:14:32,134 --> 00:14:32,966
It's almost ready.
366
00:14:32,968 --> 00:14:34,735
It is an unseasonably warm
autumn day here in Chicago...
367
00:14:34,737 --> 00:14:37,204
I got your macaroni and cheese,
hot dogs-- no ketchup,
368
00:14:37,206 --> 00:14:40,407
just like you like it-- and I got a
couple apple slices for you, too.
369
00:14:40,409 --> 00:14:44,912
Whether they are boating or playing sports...
You like that, huh?
370
00:14:44,914 --> 00:14:46,647
Yeah.
371
00:14:46,649 --> 00:14:47,881
It's almost ready, I promise.
372
00:14:47,883 --> 00:14:49,116
Who can say I blame 'em?
373
00:14:49,118 --> 00:14:52,452
This could be the last warm
weekday we get until next spring.
374
00:14:52,454 --> 00:14:53,587
Back to you, Bob.
375
00:14:53,589 --> 00:14:57,457
It's gonna be a hot one today.
376
00:14:57,459 --> 00:15:00,093
(Kevin whistles)
There she is.
377
00:15:00,095 --> 00:15:03,163
My little sexy dynamo.
Mmm.
378
00:15:03,165 --> 00:15:06,667
How are you doing?
Uh, I honestly am in a lot of
379
00:15:06,669 --> 00:15:08,669
pain.
Bam! You're welcome.
380
00:15:08,671 --> 00:15:10,771
I call that move "the kidney
shifter."
381
00:15:10,773 --> 00:15:14,141
Mmm, no, things are just not
good down south.
382
00:15:14,143 --> 00:15:18,111
It's like Mississippi Burning.I never saw that movie.
383
00:15:18,113 --> 00:15:21,448
Well, it's not a comedy.Is there anything I need to know
384
00:15:21,450 --> 00:15:24,484
about?Has your... been cleared to
385
00:15:24,486 --> 00:15:27,154
play?Wha-- uh, no, I don't have
386
00:15:27,156 --> 00:15:29,423
anything.Well, I don't have anything,
387
00:15:29,425 --> 00:15:31,358
either, but something set fireto these crosses.
388
00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:33,293
Uh, I don't know what to tellyou, sweetheart.
389
00:15:33,295 --> 00:15:35,028
How about tell me the truth?Fine. You want the truth?
390
00:15:35,030 --> 00:15:36,964
Yes.Uh, okay, I have been using
391
00:15:36,966 --> 00:15:38,865
your toothbrush for the lastthree weeks 'cause I can't find
392
00:15:38,867 --> 00:15:40,934
mine, and I left CB at a grocerystore once. There.
393
00:15:40,936 --> 00:15:42,836
Me, too.But I am as clean as a
394
00:15:42,838 --> 00:15:44,771
mountain stream.I am as pure as the driven
395
00:15:44,773 --> 00:15:46,606
snow.I'm spotless.
396
00:15:46,608 --> 00:15:48,608
Impeccable.Unsoiled.
397
00:15:48,610 --> 00:15:50,544
Unsullied.Unstained, and I'll piss in
398
00:15:50,546 --> 00:15:52,646
every glass that we own to proveit.
399
00:15:52,648 --> 00:15:54,381
This isn't a lab, Kevin.That's just ruining our
400
00:15:54,383 --> 00:15:57,017
glassware.Will you just get your equipmunk
401
00:15:57,019 --> 00:15:59,786
checked?Don't start equipmunk stuff.
402
00:15:59,788 --> 00:16:01,621
(Jenny grunting)Jenny, don't do that.
403
00:16:01,623 --> 00:16:04,791
Equipmunk wrong.Goddamn it.
404
00:16:04,793 --> 00:16:07,361
Equipmunk dirty!Stop it.
405
00:16:07,363 --> 00:16:10,497
Equipmunk make my downstairshurty.
406
00:16:10,499 --> 00:16:12,466
She's saying I gave her an STD.
407
00:16:12,468 --> 00:16:14,468
I mean, I couldn't possibly giveher something if I don't have
408
00:16:14,470 --> 00:16:16,136
it, right?Well, maybe you did.
409
00:16:16,138 --> 00:16:18,305
Have you had unprotected sexwith a stranger-- a woman or a
410
00:16:18,307 --> 00:16:20,307
man?No.
411
00:16:20,309 --> 00:16:22,209
A prostitute?Okay, look, do you have any open
412
00:16:22,211 --> 00:16:24,044
sores or lesions on your penis?Why don't we ask patient
413
00:16:24,046 --> 00:16:25,879
zero?Shut up.
414
00:16:25,881 --> 00:16:27,881
Okay.Cheeseburger!
415
00:16:27,883 --> 00:16:29,883
Ow!What?
416
00:16:29,885 --> 00:16:31,818
Ow, I got the wing sauce inmy eye.
417
00:16:31,820 --> 00:16:33,653
Wait, wait a second.(laughs)
418
00:16:33,655 --> 00:16:35,489
It burns, right?Yes.
419
00:16:35,491 --> 00:16:37,324
And you were eating herebefore your sexiversary, right?
420
00:16:37,326 --> 00:16:40,927
Yes.Did you wash your hands?
421
00:16:40,929 --> 00:16:42,929
Oh, you pig!Yeah!
422
00:16:42,931 --> 00:16:45,365
I didn't have a chance.She was on top of me as soon as
423
00:16:45,367 --> 00:16:47,200
I walked in the door.(laughter)
424
00:16:47,202 --> 00:16:49,703
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. andMrs. Firecrotch.
425
00:16:49,705 --> 00:16:51,772
You are too hot to handle.No, stop.
426
00:16:51,774 --> 00:16:53,540
Best team name ever.How could we have ever doubted
427
00:16:53,542 --> 00:16:55,542
you?Aw.
428
00:16:55,544 --> 00:16:57,277
Nobody is ever gonna tell
Jenny about this.
429
00:16:57,279 --> 00:16:59,079
We could at least tell her
what to do.
430
00:16:59,081 --> 00:17:02,215
Get a celery swab, get some blue
cheese, and stick it right in
431
00:17:02,217 --> 00:17:04,084
that muffalo sauce.
(loud bang)
432
00:17:04,086 --> 00:17:06,086
Whoa, Jesus!
Oh, Jesus. Taco.
433
00:17:06,088 --> 00:17:08,088
Jesus. Ooh.
Oh, Taco.
434
00:17:08,090 --> 00:17:10,257
Oh, my God.
Taco!
435
00:17:10,259 --> 00:17:14,694
There we go. Today's special: mesquite burgers.
(crickets chirping)
436
00:17:14,696 --> 00:17:18,298
(indistinct whispering)
Shh, shh.
437
00:17:18,300 --> 00:17:20,734
Okay, I think we're good.
(whispers): Are we good good?
438
00:17:20,736 --> 00:17:26,206
Stop with the good, good.
Jesus, come on.
439
00:17:26,208 --> 00:17:28,608
Okay, here's what I'm thinking.
We put it inside the fireplace,
440
00:17:28,610 --> 00:17:31,044
okay, 'cause if we can't get
this thing on the mantel, we'll
441
00:17:31,046 --> 00:17:33,413
have it in the mantel.
(footsteps approaching)
442
00:17:33,415 --> 00:17:35,816
Okay. Oh, oh, oh.
Shh!
443
00:17:35,818 --> 00:17:38,151
Go, go, go!
444
00:17:38,153 --> 00:17:41,621
(throat clearing)
Oh, my God, no, what is that?
445
00:17:41,623 --> 00:17:43,623
What are you guys doing here?
What are you doing here?
446
00:17:43,625 --> 00:17:45,826
What's that doing here?
It lives here.
447
00:17:45,828 --> 00:17:50,130
I do, too. Yeah, but you're on a bye week.
So? I had to come home.
448
00:17:50,132 --> 00:17:52,299
Why?
Taco's got no shampoo, and I
449
00:17:52,301 --> 00:17:54,301
wanted to pick up my box set
of Breaking Bad.
450
00:17:54,303 --> 00:17:56,236
I never knew what happened.I keep lying about it.
451
00:17:56,238 --> 00:17:58,305
I just say that, "Oh ,the guy
from Malcolm in the Middle's a
452
00:17:58,307 --> 00:18:00,507
bad guy."
Well, he starts nice.
453
00:18:00,509 --> 00:18:02,275
He does become bad.
Oh, spoiler alert!
454
00:18:02,277 --> 00:18:04,010
We had a 45-minute
conversation about it.
455
00:18:04,012 --> 00:18:05,846
No, you had a 45-minute
conversation.
456
00:18:05,848 --> 00:18:07,914
I zoned out and pretended to
play Tetris in my head.
457
00:18:07,916 --> 00:18:10,283
Hello? Hello?
Shit!
458
00:18:10,285 --> 00:18:13,854
Shit!
Hello?
459
00:18:13,856 --> 00:18:25,599
Oh, God.
(clucks tongue)
460
00:18:25,601 --> 00:18:30,604
Geoffrey got this one, too?
Oh, disgusting.
461
00:18:30,606 --> 00:18:34,141
(whispering): Nothing.
Nothing's happening.
462
00:18:34,143 --> 00:18:39,479
Oh, I need some tea.
463
00:18:39,481 --> 00:18:56,029
Get that back.
Get that back.
464
00:18:56,031 --> 00:19:00,300
No. God!
(growling)
465
00:19:00,302 --> 00:19:02,669
Hey, babe.
Hey.
466
00:19:02,671 --> 00:19:04,871
Ooh, spicy!
Mmm, I know.
467
00:19:04,873 --> 00:19:06,873
It's burning my mouth.
Hey, the doctor called.
468
00:19:06,875 --> 00:19:09,075
I'm clean as a whistle.
I am medically cleared to play.
469
00:19:09,077 --> 00:19:11,511
See? Who knows what that was?
Forget about that.
470
00:19:11,513 --> 00:19:13,513
I mean, what the heck?
All right, everyone, there's
471
00:19:13,515 --> 00:19:15,916
a new menu.
It says "Taco's Truck, No
472
00:19:15,918 --> 00:19:18,318
Tacos."
You have any questions, ask me,
473
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:20,720
Taco.
Also, Taco's special today is
474
00:19:20,722 --> 00:19:22,923
the wings.
They come in three flavors:
475
00:19:22,925 --> 00:19:25,325
mild, spicy and
too hot to handle.
476
00:19:25,327 --> 00:19:27,327
No, no, no, no! Taco!
Be careful with those.
477
00:19:27,329 --> 00:19:29,529
They are dangerously hot.
Taco!
478
00:19:29,531 --> 00:19:34,501
Oh, T... Your dickis clean, but your
fingers are filthy. (Kevin sighs)
479
00:19:34,503 --> 00:19:38,104
You went all up in my biz, you
burnt down Mississippi!
480
00:19:38,106 --> 00:19:40,507
That hot sauce is so hot, it
made me think I had something
481
00:19:40,509 --> 00:19:42,876
worse than the clap!
Oh, that's disgusting.
482
00:19:42,878 --> 00:19:45,278
No, no, no.
Gross.
483
00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:47,681
The clap's not that bad.
It's very treatable.
484
00:19:47,683 --> 00:19:50,083
Just, come on, it's like a "B"
rating.
485
00:19:50,085 --> 00:19:52,452
We're leaving.
Just don't touch your vagina
486
00:19:52,454 --> 00:19:54,888
after you eat the wings.
It's not that complicated.
487
00:19:54,890 --> 00:19:56,286
Oh.
Wait... sir.
488
00:19:56,406 --> 00:20:02,195
Let's get out of here.
This is not good for business, you shit-pig.
489
00:20:04,822 --> 00:20:07,604
- Honey, I'm home.
- Hi!
490
00:20:07,997 --> 00:20:09,629
- Missed me?
- Yes.
491
00:20:10,022 --> 00:20:13,439
- How are you?
- Oh, God, I missed you so much.
492
00:20:13,559 --> 00:20:15,011
Yeah, missed you too.
493
00:20:15,131 --> 00:20:17,274
This place isn't the same without you.
494
00:20:17,727 --> 00:20:18,937
Yeah.
495
00:20:19,057 --> 00:20:21,960
- Muah. Can we have sex?
-Yeah. But first,
496
00:20:22,398 --> 00:20:23,948
I want to see my son.
497
00:20:24,068 --> 00:20:26,354
- You're a great dad.
- You're a great wife.
498
00:20:26,474 --> 00:20:28,552
Let's go upstairs.
Okay.
499
00:20:31,737 --> 00:20:33,879
(growling): Oh.
Oh, my God.
500
00:20:33,999 --> 00:20:38,079
Pete! Why is our son holding a
statue of Joe Paterno? Sacko.
501
00:20:38,388 --> 00:20:42,967
Oh, baby Geoffrey. Sleeping so close
to that scrotum, forever unclean.
502
00:20:43,277 --> 00:20:53,573
"Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com"
503
00:20:53,623 --> 00:20:58,173
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
42300
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.