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1
00:00:01,471 --> 00:00:03,359
In a world
2
00:00:04,051 --> 00:00:08,622
where a man meets a
woman, comes Andre.
3
00:00:08,689 --> 00:00:10,189
ANDRE: Andre.
4
00:00:10,258 --> 00:00:11,258
And Trixie.
5
00:00:11,325 --> 00:00:12,258
Trixie.
6
00:00:12,325 --> 00:00:15,294
JENNY: Is this his
wedding invitation?
7
00:00:16,363 --> 00:00:17,996
(tires screech)
8
00:00:18,064 --> 00:00:23,736
And this summer, they meet up in...
Top Groom.
9
00:00:25,772 --> 00:00:26,705
(men groan)
10
00:00:26,773 --> 00:00:28,706
Is she still allergic
to his semen?
11
00:00:28,774 --> 00:00:29,707
KEVIN: Yeah.
12
00:00:29,775 --> 00:00:30,608
PETE: Yup.
13
00:00:30,676 --> 00:00:32,677
TACO: They should have
called it Risky Jizzness.
14
00:00:32,745 --> 00:00:34,011
RUXIN: Missionary Impossible.
15
00:00:34,079 --> 00:00:36,514
Cum Far and Away from My Vagina.
16
00:00:36,582 --> 00:00:37,582
Thighs Wide Shut.
17
00:00:37,650 --> 00:00:38,683
Cum Man.
18
00:00:38,751 --> 00:00:40,251
That doesn't make any sense.
19
00:00:40,319 --> 00:00:41,886
It's Rain Man, but with cum.
20
00:00:41,953 --> 00:00:43,321
A Few Good Semen.
21
00:00:43,389 --> 00:00:44,655
You can't handle my cum!
22
00:00:44,722 --> 00:00:45,656
Whoa!
23
00:00:45,723 --> 00:00:48,191
So, please celebrate with
us this Labor Day weekend.
24
00:00:48,259 --> 00:00:51,428
In Los Angeles, the
City of Andrels.
25
00:00:51,496 --> 00:00:52,696
Oh, God.
26
00:00:52,764 --> 00:00:53,997
That's terrible.
27
00:00:54,064 --> 00:00:56,065
He's plowing her with his
little angel donger.
28
00:00:56,133 --> 00:00:58,436
Even in the afterlife, he's
got a substandard peen.
29
00:00:58,556 --> 00:01:01,652
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
30
00:01:01,772 --> 00:01:03,706
All right, let the Sacko
punishments begin.
31
00:01:03,774 --> 00:01:04,707
I live for this.
32
00:01:04,775 --> 00:01:05,508
There he is!
33
00:01:05,575 --> 00:01:06,509
Ruxin!
34
00:01:06,576 --> 00:01:07,510
Bam!
35
00:01:07,577 --> 00:01:08,544
Hello, Ruxin.
36
00:01:08,612 --> 00:01:09,545
Hey, guys.
37
00:01:09,613 --> 00:01:10,546
It's time.
38
00:01:10,614 --> 00:01:11,547
Time for what?
39
00:01:11,615 --> 00:01:12,648
This is your day, bud.
40
00:01:12,716 --> 00:01:13,649
Really?
41
00:01:13,717 --> 00:01:15,117
Here's Sacko!
42
00:01:15,185 --> 00:01:17,852
You're not supposed
to wear the outfit.
43
00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:18,886
Yeah, right.
44
00:01:18,954 --> 00:01:20,888
You try not putting
this thing on.
45
00:01:20,956 --> 00:01:21,889
Taco, it's for him.
46
00:01:21,957 --> 00:01:25,360
And, Rodney Ruxin, I can think
of no better way to start
47
00:01:25,428 --> 00:01:28,262
off Sacko season than with your
first punishment, which will
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00:01:28,331 --> 00:01:32,433
include said Sacko suit with
said Sacko balls, walking into a
49
00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:35,336
vegan restaurant, reading this.
50
00:01:35,403 --> 00:01:37,371
"Don't you want me
in your mouth?"
51
00:01:37,439 --> 00:01:38,505
Yeah!
52
00:01:38,573 --> 00:01:40,374
You know what I'm thinking?
53
00:01:40,442 --> 00:01:42,509
No.
54
00:01:42,577 --> 00:01:43,544
Excuse me?
55
00:01:43,611 --> 00:01:45,412
No, I won't do it.
56
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,514
Okay, dum-dum here is
really not getting it.
57
00:01:47,582 --> 00:01:48,715
Listen to me, Ruxin.
58
00:01:48,782 --> 00:01:51,517
You put the head on like this.
59
00:01:51,585 --> 00:01:54,887
And then you run at people like this.
(yells)
60
00:01:54,955 --> 00:01:55,888
Check out my balls!
61
00:01:55,956 --> 00:01:56,889
(women scream)
62
00:01:56,957 --> 00:01:58,891
You're gonna want to get the
balls right up in there.
63
00:01:58,959 --> 00:01:59,625
Oh, my God!
64
00:01:59,693 --> 00:02:00,693
No!
65
00:02:00,761 --> 00:02:01,694
(people clamoring)
66
00:02:01,762 --> 00:02:02,729
Nice!
67
00:02:02,796 --> 00:02:03,730
Yes!
68
00:02:03,797 --> 00:02:04,763
You son of a bitch!
69
00:02:04,831 --> 00:02:06,030
Just like this, Ruxin.
70
00:02:06,098 --> 00:02:07,265
How do you like that?!
71
00:02:07,333 --> 00:02:08,767
Yeah, I think I'm good.
72
00:02:08,835 --> 00:02:09,835
No, no, you're not good.
73
00:02:09,902 --> 00:02:11,837
You have to fulfill
the Sacko duties.
74
00:02:11,904 --> 00:02:12,838
Tell him he has to do it, Jenny.
75
00:02:12,905 --> 00:02:16,608
Yeah, if you don't fulfill your Sacko
duties, you're not in the league.
76
00:02:16,676 --> 00:02:18,877
Ow, my fake testicles!
77
00:02:18,944 --> 00:02:20,978
Well, then I guess I'm
not in the league.
78
00:02:21,045 --> 00:02:22,212
I guess I quit.
79
00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:23,381
ALL: What?
80
00:02:23,448 --> 00:02:24,615
Deuces.
81
00:02:24,683 --> 00:02:26,183
You're quitting?
82
00:02:26,251 --> 00:02:27,551
Quit?
83
00:02:27,619 --> 00:02:30,554
Kevin, I had another
accident in the suit.
84
00:02:30,622 --> 00:02:33,090
This one's worse
than McGibblets.
85
00:02:33,157 --> 00:02:34,091
Hey!
86
00:02:34,158 --> 00:02:35,158
What's happening, fellas?
87
00:02:35,159 --> 00:02:36,093
Hey.
88
00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:37,093
Nothing that interests you.
89
00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:39,095
You're not in the
league anymore.
90
00:02:39,162 --> 00:02:41,197
Can't I just hang
out with my bros?
91
00:02:41,265 --> 00:02:43,199
Your feigned disinterest
is bullshit.
92
00:02:43,267 --> 00:02:44,534
(Andre imitating an airplane)
93
00:02:44,602 --> 00:02:45,735
(imitating guns firing)
94
00:02:45,803 --> 00:02:48,505
Top Groom reporting for duty.
95
00:02:48,572 --> 00:02:49,506
Oh, boy.
96
00:02:49,573 --> 00:02:51,574
That's right, it's me, Maverick,
with a very important
97
00:02:51,642 --> 00:02:53,609
message to RSVP to
my wedding, okay?
98
00:02:53,676 --> 00:02:56,612
You guys are the only people who
have not RSVP'd to the wedding.
99
00:02:56,679 --> 00:02:59,548
Because of that, your selection of
avatars is gonna be pretty bad, so...
100
00:02:59,616 --> 00:03:01,450
We're not doing wedding avatars.
101
00:03:01,518 --> 00:03:03,419
We really don't want to have
anything to do with this.
102
00:03:03,486 --> 00:03:04,420
Why are you doing this in L.A.
103
00:03:04,487 --> 00:03:05,421
anyway, by the way?
104
00:03:05,488 --> 00:03:08,390
Uh, because Trixie's a huge fan
of old Hollywood, and I am a
105
00:03:08,457 --> 00:03:10,558
huge fan of
destination weddings.
106
00:03:10,626 --> 00:03:11,459
Top Groom is old Hollywood?
107
00:03:11,527 --> 00:03:12,460
Totally.
108
00:03:12,528 --> 00:03:14,462
But I get where all
this is coming from.
109
00:03:14,530 --> 00:03:17,465
Even though I'm getting married, I'm gonna
be there for you a thousand percent.
110
00:03:17,533 --> 00:03:18,466
You know what?
111
00:03:18,534 --> 00:03:19,467
Let's take it easy.
112
00:03:19,535 --> 00:03:20,468
I think 30% is fine.
113
00:03:20,536 --> 00:03:23,137
I'll take 20% and zero
percent on weekends, please.
114
00:03:23,204 --> 00:03:25,739
No, I'm giving you guys my all.
115
00:03:25,807 --> 00:03:30,343
That's why I designated a room
in my house to be my man cave.
116
00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:31,445
That's right.
117
00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:34,314
How many dudes can you fit
inside your man cave?
118
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:37,751
Normally like four, but I could
probably fit about six or seven.
119
00:03:37,819 --> 00:03:40,986
I bet you could stuff a bunch of dudes
in that cave if the entrance is right.
120
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,422
Ideally I'd have men coming
in and out all day long.
121
00:03:43,490 --> 00:03:44,623
What's inside the man cave?
122
00:03:44,691 --> 00:03:45,624
Is there carpeting?
123
00:03:45,692 --> 00:03:46,759
Nope, all hard wood.
124
00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:49,795
The man cave is all about
hardcore fun action.
125
00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:53,198
But what if a dude wants to, like,
leave a cream pie in your man cave?
126
00:03:53,266 --> 00:03:54,467
Oh, my God, I would love it.
127
00:03:54,534 --> 00:03:56,634
I'd actually request all of you
bring cream pies to my man cave,
128
00:03:56,702 --> 00:03:58,636
'cause you know I
got a sweet tooth.
129
00:03:58,704 --> 00:04:00,572
Oh, we got a message from Ted.
130
00:04:00,639 --> 00:04:01,639
Ooh, nice.
131
00:04:01,707 --> 00:04:02,640
Video message.
132
00:04:02,708 --> 00:04:03,641
All right, Ted, what you got?
133
00:04:03,709 --> 00:04:05,510
Can you move that bottle
so I can see the screen?
134
00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:06,444
No, this is league business.
135
00:04:06,512 --> 00:04:07,445
It doesn't concern you.
136
00:04:07,513 --> 00:04:08,813
I say we let him watch.
137
00:04:08,881 --> 00:04:11,883
Behold, your champion.
138
00:04:11,951 --> 00:04:13,484
I thought Ted was black.
139
00:04:13,551 --> 00:04:15,986
I haven't seen you all in a
while, but what better way to
140
00:04:16,053 --> 00:04:19,422
reconnect than by you all
kissing my perfectly tanned,
141
00:04:19,491 --> 00:04:22,158
Californian championship ass.
142
00:04:22,226 --> 00:04:24,628
Well, at least he's
still a cocky dick.
143
00:04:24,696 --> 00:04:26,663
I don't remember him being
that good with sand.
144
00:04:26,731 --> 00:04:29,665
Now, you're not gonna get
ripped like me by working out
145
00:04:29,733 --> 00:04:30,900
only five minutes a day.
146
00:04:30,968 --> 00:04:36,939
And you're not gonna get rich like me
by working only five minutes a day.
147
00:04:37,007 --> 00:04:40,476
But you can win a fantasy league
filled with a bunch of idiots by
148
00:04:40,544 --> 00:04:43,846
spending only five
minutes a day.
149
00:04:43,914 --> 00:04:45,714
Honestly, winning was so simple.
150
00:04:45,781 --> 00:04:47,716
The only thing easier
is Andre's sister.
151
00:04:47,783 --> 00:04:48,717
Come on.
152
00:04:48,784 --> 00:04:49,718
She's such a slut.
153
00:04:49,785 --> 00:04:52,721
The Ted draft will be
held in California.
154
00:04:52,788 --> 00:04:53,688
California?
155
00:04:53,756 --> 00:04:55,690
So I will see you all
in Cali, bitches.
156
00:04:55,758 --> 00:04:57,158
Learn how to draft.
157
00:04:57,226 --> 00:05:00,061
California, a little sunshine, and by
the way, there's already something that
158
00:05:00,129 --> 00:05:01,128
we have to do in California.
159
00:05:01,195 --> 00:05:02,195
The wedding thing, right?
160
00:05:02,196 --> 00:05:03,130
Uh-huh, a little combo?
161
00:05:03,197 --> 00:05:05,599
Oh, yeah...
BOTH: Destination draft.
162
00:05:05,667 --> 00:05:06,627
No, destination wedding.
163
00:05:06,668 --> 00:05:07,601
OTHERS: Destination draft.
164
00:05:07,669 --> 00:05:08,602
It sounds better.
165
00:05:08,670 --> 00:05:09,603
Yeah.
166
00:05:09,671 --> 00:05:10,470
Ruxin, what do you think?
167
00:05:10,539 --> 00:05:12,472
Well, I'll probably go to the
wedding, but I'm not in the
168
00:05:12,541 --> 00:05:14,541
league, I don't really give
a shit about the draft.
169
00:05:14,543 --> 00:05:15,904
Yeah, right, right,
you don't care.
170
00:05:15,954 --> 00:05:17,721
Ruxin, remember to
pick your avatar.
171
00:05:17,789 --> 00:05:19,723
Groot is still available.
172
00:05:19,791 --> 00:05:22,592
Well, what do you mean you don't
have room in your league?
173
00:05:22,660 --> 00:05:27,731
Right, that's why a 13-person
league would be awesome.
174
00:05:27,799 --> 00:05:28,899
You know what?
175
00:05:28,967 --> 00:05:31,935
I'm glad I fired you
last month, Neil.
176
00:05:32,002 --> 00:05:34,404
Go suck a D.
177
00:05:34,471 --> 00:05:36,406
(sighs)
178
00:05:36,473 --> 00:05:39,909
Yeah, I'm in.
179
00:05:39,977 --> 00:05:41,010
RAFI: Buddy, for real?
180
00:05:41,078 --> 00:05:43,579
Yeah, I'll be in your
Domination League.
181
00:05:43,647 --> 00:05:45,581
Ah, bro, you are not
gonna regret this.
182
00:05:45,649 --> 00:05:47,609
You are gonna love being
in the Domination League.
183
00:05:47,651 --> 00:05:48,583
Right, right, right.
184
00:05:48,651 --> 00:05:50,618
Hey, man, where's
your toilet paper?
185
00:05:50,686 --> 00:05:52,421
Wait, are you in my
house right now?
186
00:05:52,488 --> 00:05:53,422
Yes, I'm in your house?
187
00:05:53,489 --> 00:05:55,424
Are you in the guest bathroom?
188
00:05:55,491 --> 00:05:56,291
Master bathroom.
189
00:05:56,359 --> 00:05:58,226
Why didn't you use
the guest bathroom?
190
00:05:58,294 --> 00:05:59,161
'Cause I'm family?
191
00:05:59,228 --> 00:06:00,868
Oh, you know what?
192
00:06:00,988 --> 00:06:02,823
I'll just used this monogrammed
toilet paper that's here.
193
00:06:02,890 --> 00:06:05,424
No, Rafi, those are monogrammed
towels I got for my wedding!
194
00:06:05,491 --> 00:06:08,125
Oh, God, it's like wiping peanut
butter out of a shag carpet.
195
00:06:08,348 --> 00:06:10,162
(Ruxin groans)
196
00:06:13,163 --> 00:06:14,681
We want this cake to pop.
197
00:06:14,801 --> 00:06:17,035
People are sick and tired
of cakes that are sweet.
198
00:06:17,102 --> 00:06:18,169
Right.
199
00:06:18,237 --> 00:06:19,170
Yes, sweet is old fashioned.
200
00:06:19,238 --> 00:06:20,204
It is pass?.
201
00:06:20,272 --> 00:06:22,573
We want to do something
that people will remember.
202
00:06:22,641 --> 00:06:24,708
You guys, I have some bad news.
203
00:06:24,776 --> 00:06:26,877
We're not gonna be able to do
the remote controlled flying
204
00:06:26,945 --> 00:06:29,112
cake that dogfights and
shoots chocolate bullets.
205
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:31,114
When were you gonna
tell us this?
206
00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:33,116
When did you think
to tell us this?
207
00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:35,118
Right now, I thought
would be a good time.
208
00:06:35,186 --> 00:06:38,220
I just... What are we gonna do now?
I feel... Wait a second.
209
00:06:38,288 --> 00:06:39,221
I'm getting an idea.
210
00:06:39,289 --> 00:06:43,292
What if we have a cake that you cut
open and inside... there's a cake.
211
00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:44,327
No, a pie.
212
00:06:44,394 --> 00:06:47,396
No...
BOTH: Donuts!
213
00:06:47,465 --> 00:06:48,397
Oh!
214
00:06:48,466 --> 00:06:50,834
I'll check and see if that's
something that we can do, and
215
00:06:50,901 --> 00:06:51,835
I'll get a couple more samples.
216
00:06:51,902 --> 00:06:52,835
You're so smart.
217
00:06:52,902 --> 00:06:53,836
You're so smart.
218
00:06:53,903 --> 00:06:57,473
Wait, um, before I go, any
allergies I should be aware of?
219
00:06:57,540 --> 00:06:59,307
No.
220
00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:00,342
No.
221
00:07:00,409 --> 00:07:02,143
Great. Thanks.
222
00:07:02,211 --> 00:07:04,746
Can we have some
real talk for a sec?
223
00:07:04,814 --> 00:07:05,781
Absolutely.
224
00:07:05,849 --> 00:07:08,130
I'm a little stressed out about
this whole best man thing.
225
00:07:08,184 --> 00:07:10,351
So I was thinking about maybe
doing, like, a Bachelor style
226
00:07:10,418 --> 00:07:12,353
competition... Oh!
227
00:07:12,420 --> 00:07:14,121
...to figure out who
the best man could be.
228
00:07:14,189 --> 00:07:15,189
I love that.
229
00:07:15,256 --> 00:07:16,056
And people love competition.
230
00:07:16,124 --> 00:07:18,626
I'm so glad that I was able
to jump that idea off you.
231
00:07:18,694 --> 00:07:19,694
Well, I love you.
232
00:07:19,761 --> 00:07:20,561
I love you.
233
00:07:20,629 --> 00:07:21,362
Infinity.
234
00:07:21,429 --> 00:07:23,397
You know, I was actually
thinking maybe we could even
235
00:07:23,465 --> 00:07:26,900
have the draft over the wedding
weekend, all the guys, everybody.
236
00:07:26,968 --> 00:07:28,301
Mm-mm, mm-mm, no.
237
00:07:28,369 --> 00:07:32,305
No, this is our special, happy,
wonderful wedding weekend.
238
00:07:32,373 --> 00:07:33,106
We're getting married.
239
00:07:33,173 --> 00:07:35,141
You're not getting
married to your league.
240
00:07:35,209 --> 00:07:36,109
No.
241
00:07:36,176 --> 00:07:38,211
You're right, I won't,
we won't have the draft.
242
00:07:38,278 --> 00:07:38,979
Mm.
243
00:07:39,046 --> 00:07:39,846
I promise.
244
00:07:39,914 --> 00:07:41,279
Thank you. Ooh, what's this?!
245
00:07:41,347 --> 00:07:45,250
So this is a hamachi crudo cake...
Hello.
246
00:07:45,318 --> 00:07:46,084
...with salmon roe.
247
00:07:46,152 --> 00:07:48,253
Mmm!
248
00:07:48,321 --> 00:07:51,123
Ooh! That wasabi?
249
00:07:51,190 --> 00:07:52,157
Yeah.
250
00:07:52,225 --> 00:07:53,425
Wow, a fish cake.
251
00:07:53,493 --> 00:07:56,794
That's really... Still
burns a little bit.
252
00:07:56,862 --> 00:07:59,631
Babe, people are
gonna love this.
253
00:07:59,698 --> 00:08:03,100
Bad news. I talked to Trixie, and she
vetoed the draft for wedding weekend.
254
00:08:03,168 --> 00:08:04,289
She doesn't have that power.
255
00:08:04,336 --> 00:08:05,202
Absolutely not. No!
256
00:08:05,270 --> 00:08:06,203
No.
257
00:08:06,271 --> 00:08:07,192
We're having the draft.
258
00:08:07,205 --> 00:08:08,973
Ted wants to have the
draft in California.
259
00:08:09,041 --> 00:08:10,241
That's where we're having it.
260
00:08:10,308 --> 00:08:11,175
Yeah, but I'm the groom.
261
00:08:11,243 --> 00:08:13,343
Yeah, but Shiva Bowl
champion trumps groom.
262
00:08:13,411 --> 00:08:14,244
Every time.
263
00:08:14,311 --> 00:08:14,912
Second?
264
00:08:14,979 --> 00:08:17,380
That does not... Come on. But you're
putting me in a really uncomfortable
265
00:08:17,448 --> 00:08:18,148
position here.
266
00:08:18,215 --> 00:08:18,782
Just relax, okay?
267
00:08:18,850 --> 00:08:19,550
It's very simple.
268
00:08:19,617 --> 00:08:21,284
Friday night is the
bachelor party.
269
00:08:21,352 --> 00:08:23,253
Guess who's not gonna be
at the bachelor party?
270
00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:24,287
Ah, Andre.
271
00:08:24,355 --> 00:08:25,321
No. Trixie.
272
00:08:25,389 --> 00:08:27,925
So we can draft there, and
she won't know about it.
273
00:08:27,992 --> 00:08:28,925
Secret draft.
274
00:08:28,992 --> 00:08:29,926
Yeah.
275
00:08:29,993 --> 00:08:30,793
No, no, no, guys.
276
00:08:30,861 --> 00:08:33,162
That bachelorette party is at
the exact same time, so...
277
00:08:33,229 --> 00:08:36,933
So it looks like we'll be drafting while
you have to have sex with Trixie.
278
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:37,934
BOTH: What?
279
00:08:38,001 --> 00:08:40,162
There isn't gonna be any sex
at the bachelorette party.
280
00:08:40,203 --> 00:08:43,039
>I've had sex at every bachelorette
party I've ever been to.
281
00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:44,206
Oh, uh, film it.
282
00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:45,139
You'll want those memories.
283
00:08:45,207 --> 00:08:46,374
Good call.
284
00:08:46,442 --> 00:08:47,442
Oh.
285
00:08:47,509 --> 00:08:48,643
To the secret draft.
286
00:08:48,711 --> 00:08:49,711
Secret draft.
287
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:53,181
Ooh... Fine, but I'm not
that comfortable with this.
288
00:08:53,248 --> 00:08:55,483
Ah, who gives a shit?
289
00:08:55,551 --> 00:08:57,652
So, Andre, what's going on?
290
00:08:57,720 --> 00:08:58,801
Why the last-minute invite?
291
00:08:58,854 --> 00:08:59,988
(Andre sighs)
292
00:09:00,056 --> 00:09:02,122
This best man thing
has been killing me.
293
00:09:02,190 --> 00:09:03,223
Where is everybody else?
294
00:09:03,291 --> 00:09:04,558
But I made a decision.
295
00:09:04,626 --> 00:09:05,793
Oh, no, no, get up.
296
00:09:05,860 --> 00:09:06,627
Get up, please.
297
00:09:06,695 --> 00:09:11,465
Pete Eckhart, will you be my...
best man?
298
00:09:11,532 --> 00:09:13,266
You're offering me a rose?
299
00:09:13,334 --> 00:09:14,267
It's not a rose.
300
00:09:14,335 --> 00:09:15,970
It's a brose.
301
00:09:16,037 --> 00:09:18,304
And this is a broposal.
302
00:09:18,371 --> 00:09:21,708
Oh, Andre, I am so flattered.
303
00:09:21,775 --> 00:09:24,276
And as much as I would love to
be your best man, believe me,
304
00:09:24,344 --> 00:09:29,015
nothing would bring me more joy...
I just think about the other guys.
305
00:09:29,083 --> 00:09:30,817
I mean, how would they feel?
306
00:09:30,884 --> 00:09:33,218
There could be a lot of
hurt feelings, Andre.
307
00:09:33,285 --> 00:09:34,653
A lot of jealousy.
308
00:09:34,721 --> 00:09:38,123
We all love you so much.
309
00:09:38,190 --> 00:09:42,327
And that's why I think it would
be prudent if you chose Taco.
310
00:09:42,394 --> 00:09:43,328
Pete.
311
00:09:43,395 --> 00:09:44,229
Ruxin.
312
00:09:44,296 --> 00:09:45,330
Kevin.
313
00:09:45,397 --> 00:09:46,732
You're so wise.
314
00:09:46,799 --> 00:09:49,299
Yeah.
315
00:09:50,769 --> 00:09:51,969
(sighs)
316
00:09:52,037 --> 00:09:54,538
Good talk.
317
00:09:54,606 --> 00:09:59,043
Andre... I will
be your best man.
318
00:09:59,111 --> 00:10:00,277
What?
319
00:10:00,345 --> 00:10:04,248
Yeah. That way, you can go back to the
guys and say, "I couldn't possibly pick
320
00:10:04,315 --> 00:10:07,884
between the four of you,
so I went with Jenny."
321
00:10:07,952 --> 00:10:08,753
That's a great idea.
322
00:10:08,786 --> 00:10:09,719
Yeah.
323
00:10:09,787 --> 00:10:11,888
Then none of my
bros will be upset.
324
00:10:11,956 --> 00:10:12,922
Right.
325
00:10:12,990 --> 00:10:17,994
Instead of my goose, you're gonna be...
my gander.
326
00:10:18,062 --> 00:10:19,328
Yeah.
327
00:10:19,396 --> 00:10:20,429
This is gonna be fun.
328
00:10:20,497 --> 00:10:21,930
Not for you, but for me.
329
00:10:21,998 --> 00:10:24,232
For you, it's gonna be
a lot of hard work.
330
00:10:24,300 --> 00:10:26,902
No, I mean, I think I... the
day of, I just stand there
331
00:10:26,970 --> 00:10:28,137
and I give you the ring.
332
00:10:28,204 --> 00:10:31,573
I help with the bachelor party and...
Sex tips? I need 'em.
333
00:10:31,641 --> 00:10:32,708
Dirty stuff.
334
00:10:32,776 --> 00:10:34,743
Oh, God.
335
00:10:44,053 --> 00:10:46,253
Nice sweats, Gander.
336
00:10:46,321 --> 00:10:48,355
Stop looking at my ass, Ruxin.
337
00:10:48,423 --> 00:10:51,458
Los Angeles-- loosely
translated to "Lost Angels."
338
00:10:51,526 --> 00:10:53,827
And this weekend is gonna
be a Andre spectacular.
339
00:10:53,895 --> 00:10:57,297
I'm talking about performance art,
I'm talking about a gypsy carnival.
340
00:10:57,364 --> 00:10:58,298
Oh, what is this?
341
00:10:58,365 --> 00:10:58,865
Whoa!
342
00:10:58,933 --> 00:10:59,632
BOTH: Hey!
343
00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:00,734
Hey, guys. How are ya?!
344
00:11:00,802 --> 00:11:01,668
Good to see you.
345
00:11:01,736 --> 00:11:03,003
Good to see you, man!
346
00:11:03,071 --> 00:11:03,837
How are ya, Taco?
347
00:11:03,905 --> 00:11:06,973
Ted used to just crush
ass in high school.
348
00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:07,874
I did.
349
00:11:07,942 --> 00:11:09,241
We called him "lady killer."
350
00:11:09,309 --> 00:11:09,975
I did. Crushed.
351
00:11:10,043 --> 00:11:10,876
Crushed 'em. Hey, Sacko.
352
00:11:10,944 --> 00:11:11,877
(makes popping sound)
353
00:11:11,945 --> 00:11:12,785
How you doing, buddy?
354
00:11:12,846 --> 00:11:13,612
I'm not The Sacko.
355
00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:14,714
I'm not in the league.
356
00:11:14,781 --> 00:11:15,480
Oh, really?
357
00:11:15,548 --> 00:11:16,281
Yeah.
358
00:11:16,349 --> 00:11:17,282
It's a shame.
359
00:11:17,350 --> 00:11:19,418
He's gonna miss a hell of a draft...
and bachelor party.
360
00:11:19,485 --> 00:11:20,652
Draft on the down low.
361
00:11:20,721 --> 00:11:22,088
Uh, everyone, cheers, please.
362
00:11:22,155 --> 00:11:22,855
Wow.
363
00:11:22,923 --> 00:11:24,123
Thank you so much, Ted.
364
00:11:24,191 --> 00:11:25,123
Bubbly.
365
00:11:25,191 --> 00:11:26,124
You look amazing.
366
00:11:26,192 --> 00:11:27,325
What have you been up to?
367
00:11:27,392 --> 00:11:28,292
Yeah!
368
00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:29,493
Thank you. Thanks.
369
00:11:29,561 --> 00:11:30,494
Just, uh, clean living.
370
00:11:30,562 --> 00:11:31,462
Lost, you know, 72 pounds.
371
00:11:31,530 --> 00:11:32,463
Whoa.
372
00:11:32,531 --> 00:11:34,065
I mean, what's
going on with you?
373
00:11:34,133 --> 00:11:35,633
You come out here,
you get all skinny.
374
00:11:35,701 --> 00:11:37,802
You don't come visit
us in Chicago.
375
00:11:37,870 --> 00:11:41,004
Well, no, I've had a crazy few years,
and I actually wanted to tell you
376
00:11:41,072 --> 00:11:42,005
about it.
377
00:11:42,073 --> 00:11:43,073
Um, I have AIDS.
378
00:11:43,141 --> 00:11:44,274
(Ruxin laughs)
379
00:11:44,342 --> 00:11:45,843
Seriously, I do.
380
00:11:45,910 --> 00:11:46,643
Oh.
381
00:11:46,711 --> 00:11:48,112
Lady killer, huh?
382
00:11:48,179 --> 00:11:49,312
No.
383
00:11:49,380 --> 00:11:51,148
Wait-- you have AIDS or HIV?
384
00:11:51,216 --> 00:11:52,449
No, no, I had HIV.
385
00:11:52,516 --> 00:11:54,351
Now I have AIDS.
386
00:11:54,418 --> 00:11:55,385
Full-blownsies?
387
00:11:55,453 --> 00:11:56,720
Yep.
388
00:11:56,787 --> 00:11:57,620
I'm so sorry, Ted.
389
00:11:57,687 --> 00:11:59,588
Uh... Not a big deal.
390
00:11:59,656 --> 00:12:00,957
I'm the same Ted, all right?
391
00:12:01,024 --> 00:12:02,792
I'm feeling great, I've
been taking my cocktail.
392
00:12:02,860 --> 00:12:03,559
So everything's good.
393
00:12:03,627 --> 00:12:05,261
Honestly, I've
never felt better.
394
00:12:05,328 --> 00:12:08,430
I just want you to know that,
as a doctor, if you ever need
395
00:12:08,498 --> 00:12:12,201
anything, I am more than happy to...
Andre, AIDS doesn't need a calf implant.
396
00:12:12,269 --> 00:12:13,002
(Ruxin laughs)
397
00:12:13,070 --> 00:12:13,902
Everything's fine. Cheers!
398
00:12:13,970 --> 00:12:15,170
Okay.
399
00:12:15,238 --> 00:12:16,405
To AIDS.
400
00:12:16,473 --> 00:12:17,439
To forgetting about it.
401
00:12:17,507 --> 00:12:18,428
To forgetting about it.
402
00:12:18,475 --> 00:12:19,341
What AIDS, right?
403
00:12:19,409 --> 00:12:20,909
I drank out of all
those glasses.
404
00:12:20,977 --> 00:12:21,910
Mm!
405
00:12:21,978 --> 00:12:23,145
What? (coughs)
406
00:12:23,212 --> 00:12:25,581
Okay, that's... What?
407
00:12:25,649 --> 00:12:26,749
I'm kidding! I'm kidding.
408
00:12:26,816 --> 00:12:29,417
I think it's awesome
that you have AIDS.
409
00:12:29,485 --> 00:12:32,287
I mean, you get to use that
special lane on the highway.
410
00:12:32,354 --> 00:12:33,354
Oh, no, that's HOV.
411
00:12:33,422 --> 00:12:35,222
Ah, HOV.
412
00:12:35,291 --> 00:12:36,571
Now that's the disease you want.
413
00:12:36,592 --> 00:12:37,458
(horn beeping)
414
00:12:37,526 --> 00:12:38,459
Whoa-whoa! Whoa!
415
00:12:38,527 --> 00:12:39,527
Oh, shit.
416
00:12:39,595 --> 00:12:42,363
Ha-ha! Whoo-hoo! (beeps horn)
417
00:12:42,431 --> 00:12:44,198
(grunting)
418
00:12:44,266 --> 00:12:46,065
You invited Rafi
to your wedding?
419
00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:47,167
No, I didn't.
420
00:12:47,234 --> 00:12:48,302
He found out about it.
421
00:12:48,369 --> 00:12:49,369
Ooh-ooh! Rafi's here!
422
00:12:49,437 --> 00:12:50,370
Hey.
423
00:12:50,438 --> 00:12:51,571
Take this to my room.
424
00:12:51,639 --> 00:12:53,340
Oh, Jesus! Don't...
(Rafi laughs)
425
00:12:53,408 --> 00:12:54,308
What'd I miss?
426
00:12:54,375 --> 00:12:55,509
Sorry I'm late.
427
00:12:55,576 --> 00:12:58,312
Ruxin made fun of Andre's
shirt and Ted has AIDS.
428
00:12:58,379 --> 00:12:59,180
(laughs) Nice shirt.
429
00:12:59,246 --> 00:13:00,246
Seriously? Wait a minute. What?
430
00:13:00,315 --> 00:13:01,414
Yeah.
431
00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:02,402
Dude, you got the AIDS?
432
00:13:02,416 --> 00:13:03,282
Yep.
433
00:13:03,350 --> 00:13:05,284
I'm about to do you
a real solid here.
434
00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:06,251
All right.
435
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,187
Every morning, take a
baby aspirin, okay?
436
00:13:08,254 --> 00:13:09,454
If you're gonna fly, take two.
437
00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:10,289
That's it?
438
00:13:10,357 --> 00:13:13,626
Boom. That shit will
be gone in a month.
439
00:13:21,545 --> 00:13:22,712
Yes! Welcome!
440
00:13:22,779 --> 00:13:23,619
Who's ready to draft?
441
00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:24,937
Wow, Ted, amazing.
442
00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:25,838
Good to see you.
443
00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:26,906
Yeah.
444
00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:30,209
Ladies, uh, could we, uh, get
my friends lubricated, please?
445
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:31,277
Thank you.
446
00:13:31,345 --> 00:13:33,746
Well, nothing says bachelor
draft like scantily clad women
447
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:34,773
in Sticker Bitch shirts.
448
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:37,216
Yes. Guys... What?
449
00:13:37,284 --> 00:13:39,284
...this is supposed
to be a secret draft.
450
00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:42,220
Andre, it says "Secret
fantasy draft."
451
00:13:42,288 --> 00:13:44,356
Bold letters just screaming it.
452
00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:46,558
I know, but everyone
will know it's a secret.
453
00:13:46,625 --> 00:13:47,345
ALL: Secret draft!
454
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:48,026
Secret draft!
455
00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:49,027
Quiet! Shh! Quiet!
456
00:13:49,095 --> 00:13:50,295
Come on, please!
457
00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:51,629
Okay, so are we all here?
458
00:13:51,697 --> 00:13:52,630
Are we ready?
459
00:13:52,698 --> 00:13:55,199
Uh, yeah, Chuck's in
rehab again, though.
460
00:13:55,267 --> 00:13:57,134
Well, that just leaves... What?
461
00:13:57,202 --> 00:13:58,135
Sir?
462
00:13:58,203 --> 00:13:59,002
What?
463
00:13:59,071 --> 00:14:00,904
Would you like to join
us for the draft?
464
00:14:00,972 --> 00:14:01,812
Oh, I'm not drafting.
465
00:14:01,839 --> 00:14:04,575
I'm not participating in the
fantasy football league this year.
466
00:14:04,642 --> 00:14:07,578
Really? You're gonna stand five feet
from us and you're not gonna draft?
467
00:14:07,645 --> 00:14:09,580
Yeah, I'm in Los Angeles to
celebrate the union of the two
468
00:14:09,647 --> 00:14:11,847
classiest, most
tasteful people I know.
469
00:14:11,915 --> 00:14:12,848
Hey!
470
00:14:12,916 --> 00:14:13,849
Yeah.
471
00:14:13,917 --> 00:14:14,850
You are so full of it.
472
00:14:14,918 --> 00:14:16,852
I'll be at the bar
drinking alone.
473
00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:19,889
Guys, he's really missing out because
this is gonna be a draft to remember.
474
00:14:19,957 --> 00:14:20,923
I guarantee you.
475
00:14:20,991 --> 00:14:21,724
There he is.
476
00:14:21,792 --> 00:14:23,059
What?
477
00:14:23,127 --> 00:14:25,528
You guys are familiar with the
bone-crushing power of the
478
00:14:25,596 --> 00:14:27,629
2012 Defensive Player
of the Year J.J. Watt?
479
00:14:27,697 --> 00:14:28,630
Yeah.
480
00:14:28,698 --> 00:14:29,631
He's the bachelor, huh?
481
00:14:29,699 --> 00:14:30,432
That's the guy.
482
00:14:30,500 --> 00:14:31,433
Uh, indeed I am.
483
00:14:31,501 --> 00:14:34,069
I've seen, uh, a lot of bachelor
party punishments in my
484
00:14:34,137 --> 00:14:36,305
day, and this is the worst,
the worst I've seen.
485
00:14:36,372 --> 00:14:38,940
Okay, first of all, it's not a
punishment, and I'll have you
486
00:14:39,008 --> 00:14:41,543
know it's part of the Rob
Kardashian collection, so yeah.
487
00:14:41,611 --> 00:14:44,479
Oh, that's why you look like a
blind kid at his first rave.
488
00:14:44,546 --> 00:14:45,513
Drinks are here.
489
00:14:45,581 --> 00:14:46,647
Everyone drink up.
490
00:14:46,715 --> 00:14:49,283
The champion declares this
draft party in session.
491
00:14:49,351 --> 00:14:50,284
Thank you.
492
00:14:50,352 --> 00:14:51,385
Very generous.
493
00:14:51,453 --> 00:14:54,155
Ted is just hanging out with J.J.
Watt like it's a normal
494
00:14:54,223 --> 00:14:55,556
thing, like they're friends.
495
00:14:55,624 --> 00:14:58,226
I got to say Ted has
improved somehow.
496
00:14:58,293 --> 00:15:00,160
Full-blown Ted has a
better life than we have.
497
00:15:00,194 --> 00:15:02,195
Kevin, he has AIDS.
498
00:15:02,263 --> 00:15:03,196
We should be so lucky.
499
00:15:03,264 --> 00:15:05,298
Yeah, I would like the
AIDS-vantage that Ted has.
500
00:15:05,366 --> 00:15:06,299
Now, let's face it.
501
00:15:06,367 --> 00:15:08,968
Full-blown Ted's got a less
restricted sex life than Andre.
502
00:15:09,036 --> 00:15:10,203
To Ted.
503
00:15:10,271 --> 00:15:11,138
Ted!
504
00:15:11,205 --> 00:15:12,305
I'll drink to that.
505
00:15:12,373 --> 00:15:16,742
What's this-- a dumb dildo convention?
(laughs)
506
00:15:16,809 --> 00:15:18,744
Where are you pulling
these hot dogs from?
507
00:15:18,811 --> 00:15:19,745
Pocket dogs.
508
00:15:19,812 --> 00:15:21,614
I always got a hot dog in
my pocket-- you want one?
509
00:15:21,681 --> 00:15:22,581
I don't want any pocket dogs.
510
00:15:22,649 --> 00:15:23,582
Okay, fine.
511
00:15:23,650 --> 00:15:25,384
I don't even want to
be in this league.
512
00:15:25,452 --> 00:15:26,418
Do you know what I mean?
513
00:15:26,486 --> 00:15:27,253
Who does?
514
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:29,188
Domination League--
now we're talking.
515
00:15:29,256 --> 00:15:31,156
Now you're playing
with the big boys.
516
00:15:31,223 --> 00:15:32,157
Yeah.
517
00:15:32,224 --> 00:15:34,225
Speaking of... Mm-hmm.
518
00:15:34,293 --> 00:15:36,261
You're not posting at all
on the message board.
519
00:15:36,328 --> 00:15:37,328
Everybody's freaking out.
520
00:15:37,363 --> 00:15:39,597
Rafi, from what I can tell, the
message board is just a chat
521
00:15:39,665 --> 00:15:40,998
room for a bondage Web site.
522
00:15:41,066 --> 00:15:42,300
You're not wrong.
523
00:15:42,368 --> 00:15:44,068
What is that?
524
00:15:44,136 --> 00:15:46,337
Oh, good, you brought the drugs.
525
00:15:46,405 --> 00:15:48,805
No, this is Ted's AIDS cocktail.
526
00:15:48,873 --> 00:15:51,141
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I put
two and two together.
527
00:15:51,209 --> 00:15:53,677
That guy doesn't win a
championship for eight years,
528
00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:56,513
and then he starts to take these
little babies and wins one, huh?
529
00:15:56,581 --> 00:15:58,448
Do we all see what's
going on here?
530
00:15:58,516 --> 00:16:00,050
Please, do not take those.
531
00:16:00,117 --> 00:16:01,077
Oh, I already took them.
532
00:16:01,118 --> 00:16:02,052
What?
533
00:16:02,119 --> 00:16:03,053
Yeah, I ate a whole bag full.
534
00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:04,420
A lot.
535
00:16:04,488 --> 00:16:05,421
Okay.
536
00:16:05,489 --> 00:16:06,422
Okay, okay, okay.
537
00:16:06,490 --> 00:16:09,091
Are we ready to start the
next year of my championship?
538
00:16:09,159 --> 00:16:10,059
Ruxin, last chance.
539
00:16:10,126 --> 00:16:11,060
Are you in or out?
540
00:16:11,127 --> 00:16:12,061
I'm out like white blazers.
541
00:16:12,128 --> 00:16:12,828
Nice one, man.
542
00:16:12,896 --> 00:16:13,829
Up top.
543
00:16:13,897 --> 00:16:14,830
I'll never touch your hand.
544
00:16:14,898 --> 00:16:15,898
Yeah, that's a good call.
545
00:16:15,899 --> 00:16:17,833
There's something really
messed up with my nails.
546
00:16:17,901 --> 00:16:18,834
I'll just manage two teams.
547
00:16:18,902 --> 00:16:20,902
You're not taking Ruxin's spot.
548
00:16:20,969 --> 00:16:21,903
No, no, no, you guys.
549
00:16:21,970 --> 00:16:22,904
Come on.
550
00:16:22,971 --> 00:16:23,905
Look who you're dealing with.
551
00:16:23,972 --> 00:16:24,692
I took care of it.
552
00:16:24,740 --> 00:16:25,674
What?
553
00:16:25,741 --> 00:16:26,675
Is he gonna do it for real?
554
00:16:26,742 --> 00:16:27,542
He's gonna do it.
555
00:16:27,610 --> 00:16:29,477
How many teams are
we working with?
556
00:16:29,545 --> 00:16:31,313
We're rocking... We're solid.
557
00:16:31,380 --> 00:16:32,146
We keep it tight, you know?
558
00:16:32,215 --> 00:16:33,147
...eight.
559
00:16:33,216 --> 00:16:34,115
Eight?
560
00:16:34,183 --> 00:16:35,149
That's pretty weak.
561
00:16:35,217 --> 00:16:36,149
But I'll do it.
562
00:16:36,218 --> 00:16:37,150
Yeah!
563
00:16:37,219 --> 00:16:38,352
Yes!
564
00:16:38,420 --> 00:16:40,120
J.J. Watt!
565
00:16:40,188 --> 00:16:43,190
Aw, man, I don't
know who that is.
566
00:16:43,258 --> 00:16:46,960
As the Sacko commmmissioner, I would
like to propose one rule change.
567
00:16:47,061 --> 00:16:49,896
I know we all love the name of
our beloved Sacko trophy, but I
568
00:16:49,964 --> 00:16:53,099
have discovered one name that is
is even more symbolic of that
569
00:16:53,166 --> 00:16:54,934
which you do not want to be.
570
00:16:55,001 --> 00:16:58,471
I give you... the Ruxin.
571
00:16:58,539 --> 00:17:00,473
What?
572
00:17:00,541 --> 00:17:01,941
Oh, my God!
573
00:17:02,008 --> 00:17:03,075
That is horrible.
574
00:17:03,143 --> 00:17:04,076
Look at that.
575
00:17:04,144 --> 00:17:06,078
Oh, my God, you captured
his vinegar strokes.
576
00:17:06,146 --> 00:17:08,079
With an ode to his herdsmanship.
577
00:17:08,147 --> 00:17:10,949
Wait, why is there a statue of
Joe Paterno with my name on it?
578
00:17:11,016 --> 00:17:12,951
Here, come here, let me hold it.
579
00:17:13,018 --> 00:17:13,952
Here you go.
580
00:17:14,019 --> 00:17:15,186
Oh, man.
581
00:17:15,255 --> 00:17:16,255
Yeah, I don't touch that.
582
00:17:16,256 --> 00:17:18,523
Joke's on you because I'm
the one who's cumming.
583
00:17:18,591 --> 00:17:20,692
It looks like his
head sat in gum.
584
00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:25,363
When you're in a Domination League,
we're talking 12 teams, PPR.
585
00:17:25,430 --> 00:17:29,099
This is a keeper league, so if
you got a QB you like, you got a
586
00:17:29,167 --> 00:17:32,102
cute girl that one of us knows, you
want to keep her, you're allowed.
587
00:17:32,170 --> 00:17:34,138
All right, you're up, J.J.
588
00:17:34,205 --> 00:17:36,206
First pick for Ruxin,
make it pretty.
589
00:17:36,275 --> 00:17:38,142
I think this team needs a
defense, and I think it's gonna
590
00:17:38,209 --> 00:17:39,143
be the Houston defense.
591
00:17:39,210 --> 00:17:40,143
Yes!
592
00:17:40,210 --> 00:17:42,612
No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no!
593
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:44,113
Yes, defense!
594
00:17:44,181 --> 00:17:46,215
No, no, no, you animal!
595
00:17:46,284 --> 00:17:48,551
You got a problem
with the Houston D?
596
00:17:48,619 --> 00:17:50,482
No, I don't have a problem
with the Houston D.
597
00:17:50,754 --> 00:17:51,687
You know, I think J.J.
598
00:17:51,755 --> 00:17:54,623
doesn't have too much time, so
we should let him just take his
599
00:17:54,691 --> 00:17:55,623
second round pick.
600
00:17:55,691 --> 00:17:56,624
Cool, cool, cool.
601
00:17:56,692 --> 00:17:58,227
Hey, Blaire, come on in.
602
00:17:58,294 --> 00:17:59,828
Hey, what's up?
603
00:17:59,896 --> 00:18:00,863
How you doing, man?
604
00:18:00,930 --> 00:18:01,864
Good to see you.
605
00:18:01,931 --> 00:18:03,866
Blair Walsh, kicker for
the Minnesota Vikings.
606
00:18:03,933 --> 00:18:04,666
Of course.
607
00:18:04,734 --> 00:18:05,868
Close, personal friend.
608
00:18:05,935 --> 00:18:06,935
Go ahead, take a pick, pal.
609
00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:09,204
First pick in the second round.
610
00:18:09,272 --> 00:18:10,805
What does this team need?
611
00:18:10,873 --> 00:18:12,039
Adrian Peterson probably.
612
00:18:12,107 --> 00:18:13,407
I think maybe the kicker.
613
00:18:13,475 --> 00:18:14,808
Yes!
614
00:18:14,877 --> 00:18:16,911
How about Blair Walsh?
615
00:18:16,979 --> 00:18:18,812
No... no!
616
00:18:18,881 --> 00:18:21,582
A defense in the first round,
a kicker in the second round?
617
00:18:21,649 --> 00:18:22,583
This is insane!
618
00:18:22,650 --> 00:18:23,771
I'm sorry, I can't hear you.
619
00:18:23,785 --> 00:18:25,785
Oh, that's right, you're
not in the league anymore.
620
00:18:25,820 --> 00:18:26,754
Fine!
621
00:18:26,821 --> 00:18:27,754
I will do whatever you want.
622
00:18:27,821 --> 00:18:28,755
I will rejoin the league, okay?
623
00:18:28,822 --> 00:18:32,959
Okay, but you are going to
take that team as it is.
624
00:18:33,027 --> 00:18:36,529
Fine, I'll still
whip all your asses.
625
00:18:36,597 --> 00:18:38,798
Even with the Houston D and
the Blair Kick Project here.
626
00:18:38,832 --> 00:18:41,902
Not before you do your
Sacko punishments.
627
00:18:41,969 --> 00:18:43,435
Recognize this guy?
628
00:18:43,503 --> 00:18:44,937
Hey.
629
00:18:45,005 --> 00:18:45,938
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
630
00:18:46,006 --> 00:18:46,738
Wait a second.
631
00:18:46,806 --> 00:18:48,507
Where the hell do you
think you're going?
632
00:18:48,574 --> 00:18:50,575
I'm going to rejoin my league.
633
00:18:50,643 --> 00:18:51,377
Excuse me?
634
00:18:51,444 --> 00:18:53,245
Because last I checked,
you joined my league!
635
00:18:53,313 --> 00:18:55,147
Yeah, and I'm unjoining
your league.
636
00:18:55,215 --> 00:18:57,149
You can't unjoin the
Domination League!
637
00:18:57,217 --> 00:18:59,083
You have sworn yourself to
the hands of these people!
638
00:18:59,151 --> 00:19:00,151
So what?
639
00:19:00,219 --> 00:19:01,886
I vouched for you, okay?
640
00:19:01,954 --> 00:19:03,354
This looks bad on me!
641
00:19:03,422 --> 00:19:05,756
This dishonors me, and
all I have is my honor!
642
00:19:05,824 --> 00:19:07,926
Oh, right, you're like
a samurai, huh, Rafi?
643
00:19:07,993 --> 00:19:08,927
I am a samurai!
644
00:19:08,994 --> 00:19:13,697
Rafi, your toilet and your goddamn
kitchen occupy the same metal tub.
645
00:19:13,765 --> 00:19:16,533
Just like a samurai!
646
00:19:18,136 --> 00:19:19,869
These things itch.
647
00:19:19,938 --> 00:19:22,372
Things I do for my friends.
648
00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:23,307
It's just ridiculous.
649
00:19:23,374 --> 00:19:25,566
Oh, my God!
650
00:19:29,046 --> 00:19:30,884
Yeah, you got Ruxin.
651
00:19:31,004 --> 00:19:32,574
I'll do whatever you guys want.
652
00:19:32,694 --> 00:19:35,943
Just, Andre, keep your hands
away from my tush, okay?
653
00:19:36,191 --> 00:19:37,711
No promises. (laughs)
654
00:19:37,778 --> 00:19:40,213
Who's that?
655
00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:45,584
What the hell is this?
656
00:19:45,652 --> 00:19:48,153
What the hell?
657
00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:50,823
Welcome to the
Domination League.
658
00:19:51,367 --> 00:19:52,467
We doing the draft?
659
00:19:52,535 --> 00:19:53,501
No, we're not doing a draft.
660
00:19:53,569 --> 00:19:54,964
It's a league meeting.
661
00:19:55,084 --> 00:19:56,986
Jesus, Spazinelli, we told
you it's obviously not the
662
00:19:57,053 --> 00:19:58,921
draft-- we don't have
gerbils or hot sauce.
663
00:19:58,989 --> 00:20:01,789
We have nothing, I mean... (deep
voice): We don't have anything.
664
00:20:01,857 --> 00:20:03,825
(deep voice): We should
use our deeper voices.
665
00:20:03,893 --> 00:20:04,953
Yeah, use the deep voices, guys.
666
00:20:05,074 --> 00:20:06,874
I think the deep voices are
only when we have the masks on.
667
00:20:06,942 --> 00:20:09,543
Well, we didn't... No one clarified
it before... The masks are...
668
00:20:09,611 --> 00:20:12,479
...exactly how we were gonna do it...
You're Dirty Randy.
669
00:20:12,547 --> 00:20:13,480
Yeah!
670
00:20:13,548 --> 00:20:14,281
Wait, Russell?
671
00:20:14,349 --> 00:20:15,282
Yes, it's me.
672
00:20:15,350 --> 00:20:18,018
No, it's a porcelain
murder doll.
673
00:20:18,086 --> 00:20:20,053
You guys, I'm not in
the Domination League.
674
00:20:20,121 --> 00:20:23,890
Oh, but you are in the
Domination League.
675
00:20:23,958 --> 00:20:26,693
The only way to get out
of this league is to die.
676
00:20:26,761 --> 00:20:27,794
Or be killed.
677
00:20:27,862 --> 00:20:28,795
Bow!
678
00:20:28,863 --> 00:20:29,796
Bloh!
679
00:20:29,864 --> 00:20:30,831
Bow!
680
00:20:30,898 --> 00:20:33,032
(all imitating gunfire)
681
00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:36,001
You can never leave.
682
00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:37,837
It's like the Hotel California.
683
00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:38,838
Exactly.
684
00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:40,539
But with more teeth and puss.
685
00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:43,175
Wasn't the Hotel California
kind of a sad, puss-y place?
686
00:20:43,243 --> 00:20:46,045
Okay, it's exactly like
the Hotel California.
687
00:20:46,113 --> 00:20:49,080
Only less douchey Don
Henley bullshit.
688
00:20:49,148 --> 00:20:50,381
Do not insult Don Henley!
689
00:20:50,449 --> 00:20:52,416
You guys need to get
your act together!
690
00:20:52,484 --> 00:20:54,685
And until you do, I'm not
gonna be in this league!
691
00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:55,686
You're not going anywhere!
692
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:57,688
You're not anywhere, pretty boy.
693
00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:59,624
You're not going anywhere,
pretty, pretty boy.
694
00:20:59,691 --> 00:21:01,692
You just checked in...
to the hotel.
695
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:02,894
Spaz!
696
00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:03,962
Spaz, we moved on.
697
00:21:04,029 --> 00:21:05,062
(overlapping chatter)
698
00:21:05,130 --> 00:21:05,863
What is wrong with you?
699
00:21:05,930 --> 00:21:07,831
Everybody, shut up.
700
00:21:07,899 --> 00:21:13,136
Ruxin, you need to be punished for
shunning the Domination League.
701
00:21:13,203 --> 00:21:16,740
Prepare to be hunted.
702
00:21:16,807 --> 00:21:19,242
And then we're gonna skin you
and wear you like a coat.
703
00:21:19,310 --> 00:21:20,543
Chill out, Spaz.
704
00:21:20,611 --> 00:21:21,544
Spaz.
705
00:21:21,612 --> 00:21:23,546
Spazinelli, calm down, these
are just paintball guns.
706
00:21:23,614 --> 00:21:24,381
I'm so confused.
707
00:21:24,448 --> 00:21:26,149
Are we actually gonna
kill him or not?
708
00:21:26,216 --> 00:21:28,083
No, we're not gonna
kill anybody.
709
00:21:28,151 --> 00:21:30,085
Is that a trident
made of dildos?
710
00:21:30,153 --> 00:21:32,721
I do not know what a trident
is, but these are dildos.
711
00:21:32,789 --> 00:21:33,989
Hey, Ruxin.
712
00:21:34,056 --> 00:21:35,624
Run, rabbit, run.
713
00:21:35,692 --> 00:21:37,859
Oh, God, Rafi, please, please!
714
00:21:37,927 --> 00:21:39,127
Make it stop!
715
00:21:39,195 --> 00:21:40,396
It'll stop when you're dead.
716
00:21:40,463 --> 00:21:43,864
(deep voice): Are we using our
deep voices or our normal voices?
717
00:21:43,932 --> 00:21:45,771
I think this one's broken, guys.
718
00:21:45,891 --> 00:21:47,269
Please, no!
719
00:21:47,704 --> 00:21:58,347
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
720
00:21:58,397 --> 00:22:02,947
Repair and Synchronization by
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