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1
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JENNY: Ugh, this season.
2
00:00:02,281 --> 00:00:03,214
KEVIN: Sucked.
3
00:00:03,282 --> 00:00:04,416
TACO: So hard.
4
00:00:04,483 --> 00:00:06,117
ANDRE: Real disappointment.
5
00:00:06,185 --> 00:00:08,501
RUXIN: It ate my entire ass.
6
00:00:08,621 --> 00:00:09,972
PETE: I had a good time.
7
00:00:10,040 --> 00:00:12,141
Yeah, we get it, Pete.
8
00:00:12,209 --> 00:00:13,209
You're in the Shiva Bowl.
9
00:00:13,277 --> 00:00:15,712
Not only am I in the Shiva Bowl,
I'm in the Shiva Bowl with
10
00:00:15,780 --> 00:00:17,314
Ted; the Four Pete is imminent.
11
00:00:17,381 --> 00:00:18,848
My team has been unstoppable.
12
00:00:18,916 --> 00:00:21,918
I know, I mean, Adrian Peterson
has just been killing it for you.
13
00:00:21,985 --> 00:00:24,554
I should have drafted him,
and I blame you for that.
14
00:00:24,622 --> 00:00:25,588
Talk to the ob-gyn.
15
00:00:25,656 --> 00:00:29,526
I find it interesting that Kevin and Ruxin
both tangled with Shiva and now find
16
00:00:29,593 --> 00:00:31,328
themselves in The Sacko Bowl.
17
00:00:31,395 --> 00:00:34,931
Ruxin ran a vigorous Sacko Bowl
campaign for a second term.
18
00:00:34,998 --> 00:00:37,934
Two times in a row at The Sacko Bowl.
19
00:00:38,001 --> 00:00:40,203
If you win again, you're
gonna be bi-sack-sual.
20
00:00:40,270 --> 00:00:41,110
I'm not bi-sack-sual.
21
00:00:41,138 --> 00:00:42,071
Maybe bi-curious?
22
00:00:42,139 --> 00:00:45,241
I don't care who is the
Sacko, but we are doling out
23
00:00:45,309 --> 00:00:46,343
Sacko punishments this year.
24
00:00:46,410 --> 00:00:49,379
Can someone just promise me
that whoever loses must put on
25
00:00:49,447 --> 00:00:52,281
the Metro Books costume
and go on a rampage?
26
00:00:52,350 --> 00:00:54,283
Like the old Scrote Squad again.
27
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ALL: Ooh, Scrote Squad!
28
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What, what?
29
00:00:56,687 --> 00:00:57,721
I'm sorry, the Scrote Squad?
30
00:00:57,788 --> 00:00:58,788
Yeah, it's an old tradition.
31
00:00:58,856 --> 00:01:02,258
When we were seniors we used to go
around to freshmen and sack-tap them.
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00:01:02,326 --> 00:01:04,461
Sounds incredibly heterosexual.
33
00:01:04,528 --> 00:01:05,488
It's not a sexual thing.
34
00:01:05,529 --> 00:01:07,530
It's a game that guys play and we...
yeah!
35
00:01:07,598 --> 00:01:08,965
We don't do that anymore.
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Do what? Whoa!
37
00:01:10,033 --> 00:01:11,968
That, we don't do that anymore, okay?
38
00:01:12,035 --> 00:01:12,969
I'm done.
39
00:01:13,036 --> 00:01:13,803
We're done.
40
00:01:13,871 --> 00:01:14,637
Done.
41
00:01:14,705 --> 00:01:15,905
(grunting)
42
00:01:15,973 --> 00:01:17,039
(laughter)
43
00:01:17,107 --> 00:01:18,207
Yeah.
44
00:01:18,275 --> 00:01:19,308
Now we're done.
45
00:01:19,377 --> 00:01:21,424
I can actually feel the
half hoodie on that one.
46
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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
47
00:01:25,442 --> 00:01:28,985
Guess what gift you don't
want for Christmas this year.
48
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A non-consensual dick
in your pussy, right?
49
00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:34,557
All of us, let's just close our eyes.
50
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Why would you close your eyes?!
51
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Do you know me?!
52
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PYH: Protect Your Holes.
53
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Okay? Boom.
54
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You just got to your car, and
a man shows up with these.
55
00:01:43,300 --> 00:01:44,066
What are they?
56
00:01:44,134 --> 00:01:45,067
Nunchucks.
57
00:01:45,135 --> 00:01:47,504
No, they are two dildos
connected by a chain.
58
00:01:47,571 --> 00:01:49,806
And guess what, ladies, they're
ribbed for your pleasure, okay?
59
00:01:49,874 --> 00:01:50,940
Oh, God.
60
00:01:51,008 --> 00:01:53,342
You think you're up against
some sort of martial arts kung
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00:01:53,411 --> 00:01:56,413
fu expert, but what you don't
know is he has designs to put
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00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:57,914
both of these inside of you.
63
00:01:57,981 --> 00:02:00,617
Boop-boop, boop-boop,
boop-boop, boop-boop, boop.
64
00:02:00,684 --> 00:02:03,019
Take it out, put it in
your mouth a little bit.
65
00:02:03,086 --> 00:02:05,006
Yakitty, yakitty, yakitty,
yakitty, yakitty, yak.
66
00:02:05,055 --> 00:02:07,296
You guys need to be always
aware no matter where you are.
67
00:02:07,324 --> 00:02:08,925
I really feel that at the ATM.
68
00:02:08,992 --> 00:02:09,759
Ass to mouth?
69
00:02:09,827 --> 00:02:11,461
When I'm getting money at the bank?
70
00:02:11,529 --> 00:02:12,261
Oh, the bank.
71
00:02:12,329 --> 00:02:14,030
You just feel like they're
gonna come up behind you.
72
00:02:14,097 --> 00:02:15,865
Well, of course, you're gorgeous.
73
00:02:15,933 --> 00:02:16,966
Yes, like here I am.
74
00:02:17,034 --> 00:02:18,367
Oh, I'm so vulnerable.
75
00:02:18,436 --> 00:02:19,368
To who?
76
00:02:19,437 --> 00:02:21,538
And then I'm like... "Hey, guy, whoa!"
77
00:02:21,605 --> 00:02:23,372
Pam, I think I see what's going on.
78
00:02:23,441 --> 00:02:26,321
When you turn around, you think men
are perceiving you as a sexual being.
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00:02:26,376 --> 00:02:27,143
Yes.
80
00:02:27,210 --> 00:02:29,111
Men are just shocked you're
a woman, 'cause from the
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00:02:29,179 --> 00:02:31,380
back, you kind of have, like,
a Barney Rubble physique.
82
00:02:31,449 --> 00:02:34,350
Sofia, I'm gonna get you up and have
you right here at the other ATM.
83
00:02:34,418 --> 00:02:35,618
Pam, you're taking out, like, 20
84
00:02:35,686 --> 00:02:38,455
bucks to buy, like, a box
of wine and sweatbands.
85
00:02:38,522 --> 00:02:44,494
The guy comes along, takes your 20 bucks,
pow, I'm gonna leave this money here.
86
00:02:44,562 --> 00:02:48,498
I'm going for this and I'm going for
the butt, and then I'm already inside.
87
00:02:48,566 --> 00:02:49,499
Oh, my God, he's so strong.
88
00:02:49,567 --> 00:02:50,500
Hey, hello, hi.
89
00:02:50,568 --> 00:02:51,501
Ruxin!
90
00:02:51,569 --> 00:02:53,503
Hey, babe, he's teaching us self-defense.
91
00:02:53,571 --> 00:02:56,506
Look, I can totally protect you
against anybody, all right, baby?
92
00:02:56,574 --> 00:02:57,507
Really? How about this?
93
00:02:57,575 --> 00:02:58,641
Hey, hey! Get out of here.
94
00:02:58,709 --> 00:03:00,176
"Hey, get out of here"?
95
00:03:00,243 --> 00:03:01,210
That's your move?
96
00:03:01,278 --> 00:03:02,211
This is weakness.
97
00:03:02,279 --> 00:03:05,482
Ladies, all of your husbands are
just the same. Ineffective.
98
00:03:05,549 --> 00:03:06,549
Let's get up.
99
00:03:06,617 --> 00:03:09,552
Okay, we're gonna learn a combination
series of punches here, okay?
100
00:03:09,620 --> 00:03:10,620
Where's my little helper?
101
00:03:10,621 --> 00:03:11,988
All right, right here, buddy.
102
00:03:12,055 --> 00:03:13,356
Right here. Here we go.
103
00:03:13,423 --> 00:03:16,058
Throat, groin, throat, groin.
104
00:03:16,126 --> 00:03:17,226
What is this?
105
00:03:17,294 --> 00:03:19,529
Did you give my son baby brass knuckles?
106
00:03:19,597 --> 00:03:21,664
No, I had baby brass
knuckles made for your son.
107
00:03:21,732 --> 00:03:24,701
We're gonna get out of here, okay,
'cause your uncle's a psychopath.
108
00:03:24,768 --> 00:03:26,703
Geoffrey, I'm your real father.
109
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Touchdown, whoo!
110
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(laughs) Oh, hey.
111
00:03:29,974 --> 00:03:31,574
Sit down; I need to talk to you.
112
00:03:31,642 --> 00:03:32,876
You watching basketball?
113
00:03:32,943 --> 00:03:35,879
Yeah, well, apparently Taco
Corp needs to be at a zero
114
00:03:35,946 --> 00:03:37,213
balance by the end of the year.
115
00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:39,248
So I need to get rid of all my money.
116
00:03:39,316 --> 00:03:41,250
That's not what zero balance means.
117
00:03:41,318 --> 00:03:42,251
You're just a lawyer, okay?
118
00:03:42,319 --> 00:03:43,319
You're not an accountant.
119
00:03:43,353 --> 00:03:46,789
So basically, I need to spend all
of my money before December 31.
120
00:03:46,857 --> 00:03:49,392
Well, I can tell you one thing
that you can do, pay me.
121
00:03:49,459 --> 00:03:50,393
I will do that.
122
00:03:50,460 --> 00:03:55,231
I know about your little problem with
Sofia, and I'm gonna pay you with semen.
123
00:03:55,298 --> 00:03:59,135
(groans) There's nobody's semen I
want less in my wife than you, Taco.
124
00:03:59,202 --> 00:04:00,136
What are we talking about?
125
00:04:00,203 --> 00:04:02,238
Putting our jizz in Sofia
to make a new baby Ruxin?
126
00:04:02,305 --> 00:04:05,307
Apparently someone's too good to have
another man's semen in his wife.
127
00:04:05,375 --> 00:04:08,144
What? I am here to offer you
my jizz for Sofia's pregnancy.
128
00:04:08,211 --> 00:04:10,279
No, no, I offered my semen first.
129
00:04:10,347 --> 00:04:11,447
Whoa, whoa, hang on, man.
130
00:04:11,515 --> 00:04:12,448
How about this?
131
00:04:12,516 --> 00:04:16,085
We put our jizz together and we mix it
up in a kind of frothy jizz milkshake.
132
00:04:16,153 --> 00:04:16,920
Go on.
133
00:04:16,987 --> 00:04:19,088
When she's sleeping, we shove
it up in her business.
134
00:04:19,156 --> 00:04:20,089
Okay.
135
00:04:20,157 --> 00:04:23,237
Guess what, nine months later you're
raising the coolest freakin' kid in town.
136
00:04:25,033 --> 00:04:27,750
(giggling) The results are in!
137
00:04:27,870 --> 00:04:29,764
My boys can swim!
138
00:04:29,884 --> 00:04:31,471
My yogurt's not curdled!
139
00:04:31,591 --> 00:04:33,018
Crank up the yogurt machine!
140
00:04:33,138 --> 00:04:35,010
We're back in business, baby!
141
00:04:35,078 --> 00:04:36,674
Big news, guys.
142
00:04:36,794 --> 00:04:41,617
Taco Corp is throwing a huge, expensive
New Year's Eve bash on January 31.
143
00:04:41,684 --> 00:04:43,284
I think you mean December 31.
144
00:04:43,352 --> 00:04:45,386
I don't know what day
it falls on this year.
145
00:04:45,454 --> 00:04:47,534
And as I say good-bye to
last year's money, I'm gonna
146
00:04:47,590 --> 00:04:49,992
introduce Taco Corp's
latest business venture.
147
00:04:50,059 --> 00:04:52,801
Booboozelas.
148
00:04:52,921 --> 00:04:54,863
The noisemaker from the
South African World Cup?
149
00:04:54,931 --> 00:04:56,031
Exactly.
150
00:04:56,099 --> 00:04:58,704
(horn blows loudly)
151
00:04:58,824 --> 00:04:59,920
That's pleasant.
152
00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:02,860
There are literally thousands
of these just lying around, and
153
00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:04,429
I am going to repurpose them.
154
00:05:04,497 --> 00:05:05,578
How can you repurpose that?
155
00:05:05,631 --> 00:05:08,099
Well, my first idea was to turn
them into sex toys, but the
156
00:05:08,167 --> 00:05:10,968
Vibrazela was a little dangerous
and the Vagvoozela was a great
157
00:05:11,036 --> 00:05:12,637
design, but it was faulty.
158
00:05:12,705 --> 00:05:14,772
Um, take a look at it here.
159
00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:15,773
Okay, yeah.
160
00:05:15,841 --> 00:05:18,743
Rafi tried it, but he said the
foam right here was a little
161
00:05:18,811 --> 00:05:19,911
too tight on his junk.
162
00:05:19,978 --> 00:05:21,112
Oh, oh!
163
00:05:21,180 --> 00:05:23,114
But I'm gonna set my sights higher.
164
00:05:23,182 --> 00:05:25,550
I'm gonna tinker with these bad
boys until they produce the
165
00:05:25,618 --> 00:05:26,918
legendary brown note.
166
00:05:26,985 --> 00:05:28,587
And what might that be?
167
00:05:28,654 --> 00:05:31,656
An infrasonic frequency
that's so low that it causes
168
00:05:31,724 --> 00:05:34,392
human beings to lose
control of their bowels.
169
00:05:34,460 --> 00:05:36,628
I'm gonna sell it to the military.
170
00:05:36,696 --> 00:05:40,298
So Taco Corp's big creation
for 2013 is a horn that makes
171
00:05:40,366 --> 00:05:41,466
people go to the bathroom?
172
00:05:41,534 --> 00:05:45,337
Correction, a horn that makes
terrorists go to the bathroom.
173
00:05:45,404 --> 00:05:46,605
This is gonna be huge, boys.
174
00:05:46,672 --> 00:05:49,107
I'm gonna be nutting all
over the place in 2013.
175
00:05:49,174 --> 00:05:51,509
Well, I wouldn't be too sure of that, oh!
176
00:05:51,577 --> 00:05:52,977
What was that?
177
00:05:53,045 --> 00:05:54,246
What the hell are you doing?
178
00:05:54,313 --> 00:05:55,447
Scrote Squad!
179
00:05:55,514 --> 00:05:57,081
Oh, my testicles. Oh.
180
00:05:57,149 --> 00:05:59,618
He really is on a five-second delay.
181
00:05:59,685 --> 00:06:01,620
Wait, I thought we were
done with the scroting.
182
00:06:01,687 --> 00:06:03,855
I know we say that, right,
but we keep on doing it.
183
00:06:03,922 --> 00:06:07,158
So what I'm proposing is a two-day
only Scrote Squad season.
184
00:06:07,226 --> 00:06:09,261
Kind of like a full-on
48-hour scrote fest.
185
00:06:09,328 --> 00:06:11,129
Yeah, no holds barred for two days.
I'm in for that.
186
00:06:11,196 --> 00:06:11,963
I like it.
187
00:06:12,030 --> 00:06:12,797
You in?
188
00:06:12,865 --> 00:06:13,666
That's cool with me.
189
00:06:13,699 --> 00:06:14,699
What's up, fellas?
190
00:06:14,767 --> 00:06:17,335
The boys can swim again,
so Ruxin's ready to shoot.
191
00:06:17,403 --> 00:06:18,970
(gunfire, explosion noises)
192
00:06:19,037 --> 00:06:20,605
Ruxin, unnecessary.
193
00:06:20,673 --> 00:06:22,874
Well, that's great, but we
have some big news, too.
194
00:06:22,941 --> 00:06:24,376
Scrote Season's back, babe.
195
00:06:24,443 --> 00:06:25,443
No, no way.
196
00:06:25,511 --> 00:06:26,478
Absolutely not. I'm not playing.
197
00:06:26,545 --> 00:06:28,613
Oh, you don't have to, but we will.
198
00:06:28,681 --> 00:06:30,982
Look, my D and B's were doubtful,
then they got upgraded
199
00:06:31,049 --> 00:06:34,452
to questionable and now they're probable,
and I need them ready for game time.
200
00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,154
No, no, no, no. No, no!
201
00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:36,988
Hey, hey, hey.
202
00:06:37,055 --> 00:06:37,822
No scrote!
203
00:06:37,890 --> 00:06:38,990
Watch the table.
204
00:06:39,057 --> 00:06:39,991
Sorry I'm late, Ruxin.
205
00:06:40,058 --> 00:06:41,125
Busy day.
206
00:06:41,193 --> 00:06:42,193
What have you been doing?
207
00:06:42,227 --> 00:06:44,162
I took a shit in your backyard.
208
00:06:44,229 --> 00:06:45,163
What?
209
00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:46,164
Nothing.
210
00:06:46,231 --> 00:06:49,000
Wait, I thought that was my neighbor's
Great Dane shitting in my backyard.
211
00:06:49,067 --> 00:06:50,134
Oh, come on, be serious.
212
00:06:50,202 --> 00:06:52,170
A Great Dane doesn't eat that much gum.
213
00:06:52,237 --> 00:06:54,205
All right, well, I brought
you here for a reason.
214
00:06:54,273 --> 00:06:55,340
It's Scrote Season.
215
00:06:55,408 --> 00:06:57,975
Ah, man, you guys do
such fun stuff together.
216
00:06:58,043 --> 00:07:00,745
I want to hang out and, like, hit
each other in the dick and stuff.
217
00:07:00,813 --> 00:07:01,746
Well, it's not gonna happen.
218
00:07:01,814 --> 00:07:03,481
I'm trying to protect my balls, okay?
219
00:07:03,549 --> 00:07:04,549
I'm hoping that you can help me.
220
00:07:04,617 --> 00:07:05,383
Yes.
221
00:07:05,451 --> 00:07:06,884
I will be your ballsyguard.
222
00:07:06,952 --> 00:07:10,188
From now on, I'm Kevin Costner,
your balls are Whitney Houston.
223
00:07:10,255 --> 00:07:10,922
R.I.P.
224
00:07:10,989 --> 00:07:11,989
R.I.P. Whitney Houston?
225
00:07:12,057 --> 00:07:12,590
Yeah.
226
00:07:12,658 --> 00:07:13,525
Oh, my God!
227
00:07:13,592 --> 00:07:14,426
Whitney's dead?!
228
00:07:14,493 --> 00:07:15,059
Yeah.
229
00:07:15,127 --> 00:07:16,328
Oh!
230
00:07:16,395 --> 00:07:18,229
How's Michael Jackson taking it?
231
00:07:18,297 --> 00:07:21,700
Oh, buddy.
232
00:07:21,767 --> 00:07:26,338
Hey, can I get your cheapest
draft beer, please?
233
00:07:26,405 --> 00:07:29,106
Holy shit.
234
00:07:29,174 --> 00:07:29,907
Excuse me.
235
00:07:29,975 --> 00:07:30,542
Adrian Peterson?
236
00:07:30,609 --> 00:07:31,175
Yes.
237
00:07:31,243 --> 00:07:34,212
I just want to say, I'm a huge fan, and
I can't believe you're in Chicago.
238
00:07:34,279 --> 00:07:35,046
What are you doing here?
239
00:07:35,113 --> 00:07:37,549
It's my off day, so, uh, just
came to town to see my lady.
240
00:07:37,616 --> 00:07:38,616
Dating a Chicago girl, huh?
241
00:07:38,684 --> 00:07:40,452
Yeah, man, she's pretty special.
242
00:07:40,519 --> 00:07:41,085
Sweet lady.
243
00:07:41,153 --> 00:07:41,753
That's great.
244
00:07:41,821 --> 00:07:45,357
I just wanted to say, you single-handedly
have brought me to the Shiva Bowl.
245
00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:46,023
Shiva Bowl?
246
00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:46,924
What's-what's that?
247
00:07:46,992 --> 00:07:49,561
Oh, sorry, it's our league
fantasy football championship.
248
00:07:49,628 --> 00:07:50,588
What's your team's name?
249
00:07:50,629 --> 00:07:52,797
Well, I'm currently called
the 3-Petes, but if you have
250
00:07:52,865 --> 00:07:55,933
one more strong game, looks like
I'm gonna be the 4-Petes, you
251
00:07:56,001 --> 00:07:56,868
know what I'm saying?
252
00:07:56,935 --> 00:07:58,370
How about the 4-Petersons?
253
00:07:58,437 --> 00:07:58,970
Yes!
254
00:07:59,037 --> 00:07:59,604
I love that.
255
00:07:59,672 --> 00:08:00,238
Like that?
256
00:08:00,305 --> 00:08:00,938
And one last thing.
257
00:08:01,006 --> 00:08:02,807
Is it okay if I get a picture, too?
258
00:08:02,875 --> 00:08:03,708
Yeah, sure.
259
00:08:03,776 --> 00:08:04,576
Then we're done, right?
260
00:08:04,643 --> 00:08:05,209
Yes.
261
00:08:05,277 --> 00:08:05,810
Cool.
262
00:08:05,878 --> 00:08:06,718
Y-You're the coolest.
263
00:08:06,779 --> 00:08:07,779
It's cool. No problem.
264
00:08:07,847 --> 00:08:08,813
Okay.
265
00:08:08,881 --> 00:08:09,947
Man, you even smell good.
266
00:08:10,015 --> 00:08:10,582
(chuckles)
267
00:08:10,649 --> 00:08:11,483
Awkward, man.
268
00:08:11,550 --> 00:08:13,718
Say, "4-Pete!"
269
00:08:13,786 --> 00:08:14,952
Whoo...!
270
00:08:15,020 --> 00:08:16,287
Hey, baby.
271
00:08:16,355 --> 00:08:17,422
Hey, sweetie.
272
00:08:17,490 --> 00:08:19,090
(camera clicks)
273
00:08:19,157 --> 00:08:20,091
Oh, hi, Pete.
274
00:08:20,158 --> 00:08:21,793
Gina, what the hell are you doing here?
275
00:08:21,861 --> 00:08:24,061
Oh, I'm Adrian's girlfriend.
276
00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:25,329
You're his girlfriend?
277
00:08:25,398 --> 00:08:27,098
His girlfriend.
278
00:08:27,165 --> 00:08:28,633
So you like this word now?
279
00:08:28,701 --> 00:08:30,167
Well, now it fits.
280
00:08:30,235 --> 00:08:31,770
So, how you know Gina, man?
281
00:08:31,837 --> 00:08:33,137
She used to be my girlfriend.
282
00:08:33,205 --> 00:08:34,105
Oh, nope.
283
00:08:34,172 --> 00:08:35,072
Sorry, we dated.
284
00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:36,441
Mm, mm-mm.
285
00:08:36,509 --> 00:08:37,141
We consorted.
286
00:08:37,209 --> 00:08:37,909
Ugh.
287
00:08:37,976 --> 00:08:40,244
It was a casual string of
hookups that I misinterpreted.
288
00:08:40,312 --> 00:08:41,813
Ah, pity sex.
289
00:08:41,881 --> 00:08:42,514
Yeah.
290
00:08:42,581 --> 00:08:44,115
Best pity sex you ever had.
291
00:08:44,182 --> 00:08:44,949
Boom.
292
00:08:45,017 --> 00:08:46,418
So, you're the most pitiful.
293
00:08:46,485 --> 00:08:48,420
Don't use my grammar against me, A.D.
294
00:08:48,487 --> 00:08:50,922
Nice meeting you, Pete, but
we're gonna get going, okay?
295
00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:51,656
Thank you.
296
00:08:51,724 --> 00:08:53,257
Hey, go 3-Pete, man.
297
00:08:53,325 --> 00:08:53,858
Yes.
298
00:08:53,926 --> 00:08:55,627
We're gonna go back to my place.
299
00:08:55,694 --> 00:08:57,295
We may even have a 4-Pete.
300
00:08:57,362 --> 00:08:58,763
(groans)
301
00:08:58,831 --> 00:09:00,164
Don't take away my 4-Pete.
302
00:09:00,232 --> 00:09:01,132
I'm about to.
303
00:09:01,199 --> 00:09:02,791
Later, bitch.
304
00:09:02,911 --> 00:09:05,249
I hope A.D. doesn't stand
for "Awesome Dong."
305
00:09:07,139 --> 00:09:08,172
Adrian Peterson?
306
00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:12,510
The very guy who made my fantasy
season is destroying my personal life.
307
00:09:12,577 --> 00:09:13,744
Wow. How does he look?
308
00:09:13,812 --> 00:09:14,945
She looks beautiful, man.
309
00:09:15,014 --> 00:09:16,080
No, no, no, I said "he."
310
00:09:16,148 --> 00:09:17,048
How does he look?
311
00:09:17,116 --> 00:09:18,182
He looks incredible.
312
00:09:18,250 --> 00:09:20,684
I mean, he's athletic, he's slim.
313
00:09:20,752 --> 00:09:22,353
His smile is even radiant.
314
00:09:22,421 --> 00:09:23,354
You know what?
315
00:09:23,422 --> 00:09:26,690
I-I used to love this guy, now I
don't even want to think about him.
316
00:09:26,758 --> 00:09:30,728
Your number one player is just destroying
your ex-girlfriend's backfield.
317
00:09:30,795 --> 00:09:33,564
Oh, they are just hooking up all day!
318
00:09:33,632 --> 00:09:34,465
All day!
319
00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:35,766
A.D.! All day!
320
00:09:35,834 --> 00:09:38,136
I'm in the goddamn Shiva Bowl
and I can't even enjoy it.
321
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:39,803
This should be the
happiest time of my life.
322
00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:43,474
Well, that is a testament to
how sad your life is, Pete.
323
00:09:43,542 --> 00:09:44,375
Scrote!
324
00:09:44,443 --> 00:09:44,975
Whoa!
325
00:09:45,044 --> 00:09:45,809
What the hell?!
326
00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:46,744
Nobody is safe!
327
00:09:46,811 --> 00:09:48,146
Scrote Squad!
328
00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:48,913
Balls!
329
00:09:48,980 --> 00:09:50,148
Boom! Whoo!
330
00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:51,049
(laughs)
331
00:09:51,116 --> 00:09:51,982
Why is Rafi scroting?
332
00:09:52,051 --> 00:09:52,950
He's not on the Scrote Squad.
333
00:09:53,018 --> 00:09:54,218
Yes, what is he doing?
334
00:09:54,286 --> 00:09:56,787
Since you guys instituted
Scrote Season and wouldn't give
335
00:09:56,855 --> 00:09:59,290
me a hall pass, I had
to hire a ballsyguard.
336
00:09:59,358 --> 00:10:00,124
Okay, forget it.
337
00:10:00,192 --> 00:10:00,958
I'm shutting this down.
338
00:10:01,026 --> 00:10:03,061
I can tell him to stop,
but who knows if he will.
339
00:10:03,128 --> 00:10:04,895
I think the Rafi train
has left the station.
340
00:10:04,963 --> 00:10:08,466
And you, my friends, are
tied to the tracks.
341
00:10:08,534 --> 00:10:10,168
(laughs maniacally)
342
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:13,604
PYS: Protect Your Scrotes.
343
00:10:13,672 --> 00:10:17,007
And, uh, better find a place in
the house to keep The Sacko, Kev.
344
00:10:17,076 --> 00:10:18,943
Oh, that's one thing I'm
not worried about at all.
345
00:10:19,010 --> 00:10:21,479
I mean, I'm technically playing
you in The Sacko, but really
346
00:10:21,547 --> 00:10:22,580
you're playing yourself.
347
00:10:22,647 --> 00:10:23,481
What are you talking about?
348
00:10:23,549 --> 00:10:25,683
You'll tinker and you'll move
things around, then you'll make
349
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:26,317
your mistake.
350
00:10:26,385 --> 00:10:27,851
Set it and forget it, my friends.
351
00:10:27,919 --> 00:10:28,919
I'm great at fantasy football.
352
00:10:28,987 --> 00:10:30,754
Yeah, 'cause you're in The Sacko, right?
353
00:10:30,822 --> 00:10:31,489
So are you.
354
00:10:31,557 --> 00:10:32,358
Well, see you there.
355
00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:33,157
Scrote Squad!
356
00:10:33,225 --> 00:10:33,924
Whoa!
357
00:10:33,992 --> 00:10:35,359
(groaning)
358
00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:36,026
Hey, guys.
359
00:10:36,095 --> 00:10:36,961
What? You're next, Taco.
360
00:10:37,028 --> 00:10:37,962
Oh, no.
361
00:10:38,029 --> 00:10:39,330
Scrote Squad.
362
00:10:39,398 --> 00:10:40,331
Suicide Scrote!
363
00:10:40,399 --> 00:10:41,199
(groans)
364
00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:41,966
What?
365
00:10:42,033 --> 00:10:43,334
Can you do that?
366
00:10:43,402 --> 00:10:44,302
It still counts.
367
00:10:44,369 --> 00:10:45,136
Scrote Squad!
368
00:10:45,204 --> 00:10:46,637
Nobody's safe!
369
00:10:46,705 --> 00:10:47,805
You taking off soon?
370
00:10:47,872 --> 00:10:49,006
Yeah, I'm heading out. Why?
371
00:10:49,074 --> 00:10:51,309
Well, it's my last night
with Shiva, and I want to do
372
00:10:51,376 --> 00:10:51,976
something special.
373
00:10:52,043 --> 00:10:59,617
Shiva Komedi Somakanakram Shiva
Komedi Somakanakram Hey!
374
00:10:59,684 --> 00:11:01,644
You know how people talk
about how the day of your
375
00:11:01,686 --> 00:11:04,522
wedding or your baby being born
should be the greatest day of
376
00:11:04,590 --> 00:11:05,156
your life?
377
00:11:05,224 --> 00:11:05,889
It's not!
378
00:11:05,957 --> 00:11:07,658
You have no idea how this feels!
379
00:11:07,726 --> 00:11:08,626
Yeah!
380
00:11:08,693 --> 00:11:09,494
Go faster!
381
00:11:09,561 --> 00:11:10,728
I'm gonna stand up.
382
00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:11,829
(chuckles): Oh.
383
00:11:11,896 --> 00:11:13,464
You like that, Shiva, huh?
384
00:11:13,532 --> 00:11:14,532
Yeah.
385
00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:17,801
Shiva Komedi Somakanakram!
386
00:11:17,869 --> 00:11:18,736
Amen, brother!
387
00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:19,537
Whoo!
388
00:11:19,605 --> 00:11:20,304
Hey, tall guy.
389
00:11:20,372 --> 00:11:20,904
Rafi?
390
00:11:20,972 --> 00:11:22,072
Scrote Squad!
391
00:11:22,141 --> 00:11:22,906
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
392
00:11:22,974 --> 00:11:23,541
(tires screeching)
393
00:11:23,609 --> 00:11:24,242
Scrote Squad!
394
00:11:24,309 --> 00:11:26,144
Scrote Squad!
395
00:11:26,211 --> 00:11:27,678
Oh, shit!
396
00:11:27,746 --> 00:11:31,349
(screaming)
397
00:11:31,416 --> 00:11:32,816
Stay in the car, tall guy.
398
00:11:32,884 --> 00:11:33,417
Rafi?
399
00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:35,052
Whoa... Scrote Squad!
400
00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:35,919
Scrote Squad!
401
00:11:35,987 --> 00:11:37,355
(groaning loudly)
402
00:11:37,422 --> 00:11:38,722
(yelling)
403
00:11:38,790 --> 00:11:41,159
(sobbing): Oh, God, my nards.
404
00:11:43,228 --> 00:11:45,763
Time for a little tinky tinky.
405
00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:48,899
Oh, yeah, my lineup's as
stacked as my gonads.
406
00:11:48,967 --> 00:11:49,700
Hmm.
407
00:11:49,768 --> 00:11:51,602
What do I do about the flex?
408
00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:55,540
Stevan Ridley or Kenny Britt?
409
00:11:55,607 --> 00:11:56,707
(sighs)
410
00:11:56,775 --> 00:11:58,108
Kenny Britt.
411
00:11:58,177 --> 00:11:59,510
Uh, thank you, vodka.
412
00:11:59,578 --> 00:12:03,781
You've given me the confidence
to make a smart choice.
413
00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:04,582
(sighs)
414
00:12:04,650 --> 00:12:05,716
Oh.
415
00:12:05,784 --> 00:12:07,451
Got to start the running back, right?
416
00:12:07,519 --> 00:12:10,588
Sorry, Kenny Britt, Ridley's my man.
417
00:12:10,656 --> 00:12:11,955
Ain't that right, vodka?
418
00:12:12,023 --> 00:12:13,791
(Russian accent): Yes,
always start running back.
419
00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:15,293
(normal voice): What about Sidney Rice?
420
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,628
(Russian accent): Yes,
I like Sidney Rice.
421
00:12:17,696 --> 00:12:20,864
(normal voice): Kenny Britt though.
422
00:12:20,932 --> 00:12:21,865
(groans)
423
00:12:21,933 --> 00:12:25,236
(slurring): Kenny Br... or Stevan R...
(scoffs)
424
00:12:25,304 --> 00:12:26,304
Britt.
425
00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:27,905
Kenny Britt.
426
00:12:27,972 --> 00:12:29,473
Done!
427
00:12:29,541 --> 00:12:33,043
Yeah... (groans)
428
00:12:33,111 --> 00:12:34,945
Stevan Ridley, you're hiding on me.
429
00:12:35,013 --> 00:12:37,815
And I'm gonna find you with that eye.
430
00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:40,884
And the winner is... Kenny Britt.
431
00:12:40,952 --> 00:12:43,120
I wanted Sidney Rice!
432
00:12:43,188 --> 00:12:45,055
Eat fat ones, bowl!
433
00:12:45,123 --> 00:12:46,757
I don't want The Sacko.
434
00:12:46,825 --> 00:12:48,992
You can't make me have it.
435
00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:52,296
Gibiatti.
436
00:12:52,364 --> 00:12:54,098
Adrian.
437
00:12:54,165 --> 00:12:56,066
You don't deserve to be started.
438
00:12:56,134 --> 00:12:58,135
No, it's Adrian Peter--
it's Adrian Peterson.
439
00:12:58,203 --> 00:12:59,470
You start Adrian Peterson.
440
00:12:59,538 --> 00:13:03,173
God, I hate being Eskimo
brothers with you!
441
00:13:03,242 --> 00:13:04,575
Yes.
442
00:13:04,643 --> 00:13:05,976
(blows)
443
00:13:06,044 --> 00:13:06,977
Yeah.
444
00:13:07,045 --> 00:13:08,412
(buzzes lips)
445
00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:10,414
What's missing?
446
00:13:14,253 --> 00:13:16,687
(bubbling)
447
00:13:16,755 --> 00:13:17,921
(exhales heavily)
448
00:13:17,989 --> 00:13:20,258
Man, science is hard.
449
00:13:20,325 --> 00:13:22,260
Break time.
450
00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:34,538
What are you doing, Geoffrey?
451
00:13:34,606 --> 00:13:36,440
Playing with your computer.
452
00:13:36,508 --> 00:13:37,141
Okay.
453
00:13:37,208 --> 00:13:38,709
Don't play with Daddy's computer.
454
00:13:38,777 --> 00:13:40,878
That's for Daddy to do, right?
455
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:42,480
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
456
00:13:42,547 --> 00:13:43,881
You changed players around.
457
00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:44,815
It's noon.
458
00:13:44,883 --> 00:13:45,616
Lineups are set!
459
00:13:45,684 --> 00:13:46,384
It's noon!
460
00:13:46,451 --> 00:13:48,118
But you slept too late.
461
00:13:48,186 --> 00:13:49,119
I can fix this.
462
00:13:49,187 --> 00:13:51,121
Go get Daddy some
Cheerios, okay, Geoffrey?
463
00:13:51,189 --> 00:13:53,123
Go get whiskey and Cheerios for Daddy.
464
00:13:53,191 --> 00:13:55,125
You're not gonna pull this off, Ruxin.
465
00:13:55,193 --> 00:13:56,827
You're gonna win The Sacko, buddy.
466
00:13:56,895 --> 00:13:58,663
And speaking of not pulling it off, Pete.
467
00:13:58,730 --> 00:14:00,197
Peterson had a monster week.
468
00:14:00,265 --> 00:14:01,365
What were you thinking?
469
00:14:01,433 --> 00:14:02,400
On your bench!
470
00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:03,567
How could you not play him?
471
00:14:03,635 --> 00:14:07,405
I could not enjoy this win if
I started Adrian Peterson.
472
00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:09,573
You could've just given him a
ceremonial slap on the wrist and
473
00:14:09,641 --> 00:14:11,909
put him in the flex position.
474
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:14,257
No, I was not gonna give Gina
the satisfaction, all right?
475
00:14:14,313 --> 00:14:16,079
Gina's gotten plenty of satisfaction.
476
00:14:16,147 --> 00:14:17,147
Have you seen Adrian Peterson?
477
00:14:17,215 --> 00:14:19,883
That dude is plowing her like
the Mall of America parking lot
478
00:14:19,951 --> 00:14:21,251
after a snowstorm.
479
00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:23,354
So, that it's it-- Ted wins the Shiva.
480
00:14:23,422 --> 00:14:25,756
Ted, the guy who doesn't show up
for draft, doesn't post on the
481
00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:26,990
message boards.
482
00:14:27,058 --> 00:14:28,258
It's worse than having Taco win.
483
00:14:28,327 --> 00:14:30,260
The bigger question is what
do we do with The Shiva?
484
00:14:30,329 --> 00:14:31,261
I mean, do we send it to him?
485
00:14:31,330 --> 00:14:33,497
I could just hold on to
it till he gets back.
486
00:14:33,565 --> 00:14:34,565
No, I don't think so.
487
00:14:34,633 --> 00:14:36,500
Whoa, whoa, check it out.
488
00:14:36,568 --> 00:14:38,836
Ted just posted on the message boards.
489
00:14:38,903 --> 00:14:41,038
"Suck it, pack your bags, next
year we're not drafting in
490
00:14:41,105 --> 00:14:41,872
Chicago."
491
00:14:41,940 --> 00:14:43,874
Where is he-- is he still in Peoria?
492
00:14:43,942 --> 00:14:45,710
I think he was overseas, right?
493
00:14:45,777 --> 00:14:46,711
What's going on? Yeah!
494
00:14:46,778 --> 00:14:47,845
No, no, no, no.
495
00:14:47,912 --> 00:14:51,281
Oh, relax, Scrote Season's
over so your balls are safe.
496
00:14:51,350 --> 00:14:52,850
But watch your dicks.
497
00:14:52,917 --> 00:14:54,117
Look what I made.
498
00:14:54,185 --> 00:14:56,587
Hey, Geoffrey, is that a picture
of Daddy tinkering with
499
00:14:56,655 --> 00:14:57,688
his lineup?
500
00:14:57,756 --> 00:15:00,057
Hey, Geoffrey, next time draw a
picture of Daddy and The Sacko
501
00:15:00,124 --> 00:15:01,625
trophy behind you.
502
00:15:01,693 --> 00:15:02,793
Oh, yeah!
503
00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:06,597
He can snuggle up in that bull
sack like a little sleeping bag.
504
00:15:06,665 --> 00:15:08,131
So cozy in this fur.
505
00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:09,633
(all laugh)
506
00:15:09,701 --> 00:15:11,969
No, uh-uh, no, no, enough.
507
00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:13,036
All right, no!
508
00:15:13,104 --> 00:15:14,037
I am not The Sacko.
509
00:15:14,105 --> 00:15:16,139
I didn't get to set my regular lineup.
510
00:15:16,207 --> 00:15:18,242
There is no regular lineup for you.
511
00:15:18,309 --> 00:15:20,310
You add/dropped, like,
six players last night.
512
00:15:20,379 --> 00:15:21,479
This is not my fault, okay?
513
00:15:21,546 --> 00:15:24,382
It was collusion between
Baby Geoffrey and vodka.
514
00:15:24,449 --> 00:15:25,383
I want The Sacko.
515
00:15:25,450 --> 00:15:27,385
You don't want The Sacko, I promise you!
516
00:15:27,452 --> 00:15:29,453
So cute, a father/son Sacko moment.
517
00:15:29,521 --> 00:15:30,488
I want The Sacko!
518
00:15:30,555 --> 00:15:32,490
The Sacko's for losers,
Ruxins are winners.
519
00:15:32,557 --> 00:15:34,324
Well, at least share it with him.
520
00:15:34,393 --> 00:15:35,325
It's the Ruxin Sacko!
521
00:15:35,394 --> 00:15:36,660
No, Baby Geoffrey, no!
522
00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:37,661
Dick punch!
523
00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:39,162
(all groaning)
524
00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:40,983
Just like I taught him.
525
00:15:41,103 --> 00:15:43,470
Now get back over here, Baby
Geoffrey and finish the job.
526
00:15:43,590 --> 00:15:46,006
I can taste the yogurt
all the way in my mouth.
527
00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:48,843
How is your sack, Ruxin?
528
00:15:48,963 --> 00:15:49,896
It's back on the I.R.
529
00:15:49,964 --> 00:15:51,798
Baby Geoffrey LT'd my Theismann.
530
00:15:51,866 --> 00:15:52,799
Ooh.
531
00:15:52,867 --> 00:15:57,070
Acquaintances, friends of acquaintances,
welcome to Taco Corp's New Year's Eve
532
00:15:57,137 --> 00:15:58,171
extravaganza.
533
00:15:58,239 --> 00:16:00,206
I spent every last penny
I had on this party.
534
00:16:00,274 --> 00:16:02,843
The good news is the Taco Corp
books are finally balanced and
535
00:16:02,910 --> 00:16:05,545
the I.R.A. will not be
bugging me this year.
536
00:16:05,613 --> 00:16:08,482
Oh, which reminds me, the bar is
now a cash bar, and Kevin, can I
537
00:16:08,549 --> 00:16:09,716
borrow taxi money?
538
00:16:09,784 --> 00:16:10,717
Sure.
539
00:16:10,785 --> 00:16:11,852
Happy New Year.
540
00:16:11,919 --> 00:16:12,853
Happy New Year.
541
00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:13,854
(groaning)
542
00:16:13,921 --> 00:16:15,255
Come on, guys, liven up.
543
00:16:15,322 --> 00:16:16,690
It's New Year's Eve.
544
00:16:16,758 --> 00:16:18,759
What good happened to any
of us this past year?
545
00:16:18,826 --> 00:16:20,827
I mean, you couldn't have a kid,
you got dumped, we have a kid
546
00:16:20,895 --> 00:16:23,730
that's got half a foreskin
like Kid 'n Play's haircut.
547
00:16:23,798 --> 00:16:24,731
Whose name is Chalupa.
548
00:16:24,799 --> 00:16:25,732
Chalupa Batman.
549
00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:27,734
Shiva called it from the beginning.
550
00:16:27,802 --> 00:16:30,670
She said, "This year will not
go well for any of you."
551
00:16:30,738 --> 00:16:31,671
She cast a curse.
552
00:16:31,739 --> 00:16:33,740
I'm not cursed-- my year's been great.
553
00:16:33,808 --> 00:16:35,742
Got a new apartment, got a great lady.
554
00:16:35,810 --> 00:16:36,576
Andre?
555
00:16:36,644 --> 00:16:37,878
Oh, there she is right now.
556
00:16:37,945 --> 00:16:40,280
I bid you adieu.
557
00:16:40,347 --> 00:16:44,083
Wow, speak of the devil
and Shiva appears.
558
00:16:44,151 --> 00:16:45,886
Who invited her?
559
00:16:45,953 --> 00:16:48,354
I did-- thought she could do
some of her witch doctor magic
560
00:16:48,423 --> 00:16:49,389
tricks for the guests.
561
00:16:49,457 --> 00:16:53,359
I think it's good that she's here
because now we can make amends.
562
00:16:53,428 --> 00:16:55,361
She wants her name and face off
of that trophy, and I'm not
563
00:16:55,430 --> 00:16:57,196
willing to give up that tradition.
564
00:16:57,264 --> 00:16:59,224
Maybe we should just drop
The Shiva and The Sacko.
565
00:16:59,266 --> 00:17:00,567
Uh, bullshit, no.
566
00:17:00,635 --> 00:17:03,937
Well, well, well-- look at
what we've got here, huh?
567
00:17:04,004 --> 00:17:07,273
Ruxin, you've got a lot of nerve
showing your face around here.
568
00:17:07,341 --> 00:17:08,107
How so?
569
00:17:08,175 --> 00:17:10,143
Ever since my sleeper agent
Baby Geoffrey destroyed your
570
00:17:10,210 --> 00:17:12,145
baby maker, you've been replaced.
571
00:17:12,212 --> 00:17:14,981
It's time for you to walk into
the desert and die like a dog.
572
00:17:15,049 --> 00:17:18,318
I destroyed you using a
baby's fist as a weapon!
573
00:17:18,385 --> 00:17:19,953
Gattaca!
574
00:17:20,020 --> 00:17:21,621
Ooh, wow.
575
00:17:21,689 --> 00:17:22,956
So cool.
576
00:17:23,023 --> 00:17:24,791
What is Taco Corp anyway?
577
00:17:24,859 --> 00:17:27,928
Basically it's a dude who just gets
super baked and wears identical suits.
578
00:17:27,995 --> 00:17:30,096
Oh, are you excited about the new year?
579
00:17:30,164 --> 00:17:32,566
Very. I was thinking that maybe
we could start a family?
580
00:17:32,633 --> 00:17:33,567
Well, the new year's in 30
581
00:17:33,634 --> 00:17:34,400
minutes.
582
00:17:34,469 --> 00:17:37,236
Well, I guess we don't have to wait
till the waiting, but, you know...
583
00:17:37,304 --> 00:17:39,072
We don't have to wait till next year.
584
00:17:39,139 --> 00:17:40,073
Now?
585
00:17:40,140 --> 00:17:40,907
Mm-hmm.
586
00:17:40,975 --> 00:17:41,908
Here?
587
00:17:41,976 --> 00:17:42,909
Mm-hmm, oui, oui, monsieur.
588
00:17:42,977 --> 00:17:44,945
Yeah, let's do it--
let's pull the goalie.
589
00:17:45,012 --> 00:17:47,180
I've had this dream of having
a bunch of little girls
590
00:17:47,247 --> 00:17:48,348
whose name start with T.
591
00:17:48,415 --> 00:17:49,349
Me, too-- three little girls.
592
00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:54,588
Tina... Tammy... Toni...
BOTH: With an "I."
593
00:17:54,655 --> 00:17:55,655
Come on.
594
00:17:55,723 --> 00:17:56,823
Okay.
595
00:17:56,891 --> 00:17:57,991
How about in there?
596
00:17:58,058 --> 00:17:58,992
In the photo booth?
597
00:17:59,059 --> 00:17:59,826
Yeah.
598
00:17:59,894 --> 00:18:02,095
Yeah, let's do it.
599
00:18:02,162 --> 00:18:04,531
This is gonna be great.
600
00:18:04,599 --> 00:18:05,164
(gasping)
601
00:18:05,232 --> 00:18:06,800
Try to relax, try to relax.
602
00:18:06,868 --> 00:18:08,267
What's wrong with her?
603
00:18:08,335 --> 00:18:11,638
Well, based on her symptoms,
she has seminal plasma
604
00:18:11,706 --> 00:18:12,672
hypersensitivity.
605
00:18:12,740 --> 00:18:13,673
W-What's that mean?
606
00:18:13,741 --> 00:18:14,975
She's allergic to your semen.
607
00:18:15,042 --> 00:18:17,310
No, no, no!
608
00:18:17,378 --> 00:18:19,445
Wait, what?
609
00:18:19,514 --> 00:18:21,481
Well, you know how some people
are allergic to peanuts.
610
00:18:21,549 --> 00:18:23,016
Your semen is her peanuts.
611
00:18:23,083 --> 00:18:24,183
So she has a nut allergy.
612
00:18:24,251 --> 00:18:25,411
No, no, no, this is not true.
613
00:18:25,419 --> 00:18:26,352
This is not true.
614
00:18:26,420 --> 00:18:28,889
After intercourse, your semen
caused her to have hives,
615
00:18:28,956 --> 00:18:31,357
swollen eyes, and for some
reason your throat closed up.
616
00:18:31,425 --> 00:18:32,659
Well, maybe this is why.
617
00:18:32,727 --> 00:18:35,028
Photo booth pictures showing
Andre putting the El Camino in a
618
00:18:35,095 --> 00:18:36,029
few different spots.
619
00:18:36,096 --> 00:18:39,032
Please give it... No, no, no,
that's for the hall of records.
620
00:18:39,099 --> 00:18:41,167
Just to be clear, if you
continue to have unprotected sex
621
00:18:41,235 --> 00:18:42,903
with her, she could die.
622
00:18:42,970 --> 00:18:43,904
BOTH: What?
623
00:18:43,971 --> 00:18:45,739
We need to get your
fiance to the hospital.
624
00:18:45,806 --> 00:18:48,141
Oh, Tina, Tammy, Toni!
625
00:18:48,208 --> 00:18:50,644
Okay, this curse has to end.
626
00:18:50,711 --> 00:18:52,913
Whatever you have to do, do it.
627
00:18:52,980 --> 00:18:54,848
So, are we agreed?
628
00:18:54,916 --> 00:18:57,197
You know what-- all right, fine,
none of us won The Shiva,
629
00:18:57,251 --> 00:18:59,485
so let Ted call it whatever
the hell he wants.
630
00:18:59,554 --> 00:19:00,486
Great.
631
00:19:00,555 --> 00:19:01,487
I forgot my coat.
632
00:19:01,556 --> 00:19:02,637
Oh, Shiva, we need to talk.
633
00:19:02,657 --> 00:19:04,591
You're not gonna make out
with me again, are you?
634
00:19:04,659 --> 00:19:05,659
We want to apologize.
635
00:19:05,726 --> 00:19:07,727
And we would love if
you remove the curse.
636
00:19:07,795 --> 00:19:08,562
The what?
637
00:19:08,629 --> 00:19:10,564
The curse, the curse
you put on all of us.
638
00:19:10,631 --> 00:19:12,566
We'll take your name off our trophy.
639
00:19:12,633 --> 00:19:13,567
What about the car?
640
00:19:13,634 --> 00:19:14,568
The Shivamobile?
641
00:19:14,635 --> 00:19:16,036
Absolutely not.
642
00:19:16,103 --> 00:19:17,037
Pete.
643
00:19:17,104 --> 00:19:19,039
Fine, it's a piece of shit anyway.
644
00:19:19,106 --> 00:19:20,106
I'll take care of it.
645
00:19:20,174 --> 00:19:22,008
No more Shiva on anything.
646
00:19:22,076 --> 00:19:25,011
We just want to start the year
fresh with you not hating us.
647
00:19:25,079 --> 00:19:28,081
All right, it takes too much effort
to be mad at you guys anyway.
648
00:19:28,148 --> 00:19:29,916
At midnight, you're off my shit list.
649
00:19:29,984 --> 00:19:30,917
Thank you.
650
00:19:30,985 --> 00:19:31,751
Yeah.
651
00:19:31,819 --> 00:19:33,753
So that's it-- the curse is lifted?
652
00:19:33,821 --> 00:19:34,821
I think we're curse-free.
653
00:19:34,822 --> 00:19:35,589
Cheers.
654
00:19:35,656 --> 00:19:36,756
Here's to a better year.
655
00:19:36,824 --> 00:19:38,224
And to Andre's toxic jizz.
656
00:19:38,292 --> 00:19:41,895
Ladies and gentlemen, on
behalf of us all at Taco Corp,
657
00:19:41,963 --> 00:19:44,731
we would like to thank you very
much for being here with us
658
00:19:44,799 --> 00:19:45,799
tonight.
659
00:19:45,866 --> 00:19:48,401
You are not just clients to us,
but nameless strangers with
660
00:19:48,469 --> 00:19:49,603
money as well.
661
00:19:49,670 --> 00:19:53,974
Now, the year 2013 is upon us and
I'd like to usher in the new
662
00:19:54,041 --> 00:19:56,910
year with Taco Corp's latest project.
663
00:19:56,978 --> 00:19:59,079
Behold!
664
00:19:59,146 --> 00:20:00,647
(horns blowing)
665
00:20:00,715 --> 00:20:03,817
Let the countdown begin.
666
00:20:03,884 --> 00:20:07,621
79, 78... No, no.
667
00:20:07,688 --> 00:20:10,556
55... Taco, come on.
668
00:20:10,625 --> 00:20:11,557
20, is 20...?
669
00:20:11,626 --> 00:20:12,558
Yeah.
670
00:20:12,627 --> 00:20:17,296
Okay, 20... Second baby or no
second baby, I still love you.
671
00:20:17,364 --> 00:20:19,398
Well, considering Baby
Geoffrey used my nards as a
672
00:20:19,466 --> 00:20:21,234
speed bag, maybe one kid's enough.
673
00:20:21,301 --> 00:20:22,235
Happy New Year, babe.
674
00:20:22,302 --> 00:20:23,236
Happy New Year.
675
00:20:23,303 --> 00:20:24,237
How's that drink taste?
676
00:20:24,304 --> 00:20:26,606
Did you roofie my drink?
677
00:20:26,674 --> 00:20:29,109
Oh, I roofied, like, 40%
of the drinks here.
678
00:20:29,176 --> 00:20:30,810
It's a numbers game for me.
679
00:20:30,878 --> 00:20:34,580
12... Enough with the vuvuzelas,
Taco, this is New Year's Eve not
680
00:20:34,649 --> 00:20:35,782
a soccer game.
681
00:20:35,850 --> 00:20:40,286
Oh, no, no, no, these aren't just
any old vuvuzelas, my friend.
682
00:20:42,589 --> 00:20:44,323
Full steam ahead, boys!
683
00:20:44,391 --> 00:20:48,161
Nine, eight, blow!
684
00:20:48,228 --> 00:20:49,328
Blow!
685
00:20:49,396 --> 00:20:50,596
What's happening?
686
00:20:50,665 --> 00:20:53,599
Did I eat miso soup today?
687
00:20:53,668 --> 00:20:54,333
Lower, lower.
688
00:20:54,401 --> 00:20:55,501
(rumbling)
689
00:20:55,569 --> 00:20:56,803
Oh, God.
690
00:20:56,871 --> 00:20:58,004
Get to the note.
691
00:20:58,072 --> 00:21:00,840
Oh, no, Taco's taking us
downtown to Brown Town.
692
00:21:00,908 --> 00:21:07,847
Reach the note-- five,
four, three, two, one.
693
00:21:07,915 --> 00:21:09,983
The brown note!
694
00:21:10,051 --> 00:21:11,217
Yamagoya!
695
00:21:11,285 --> 00:21:13,820
Sometimes when I shit, I cum!
696
00:21:13,888 --> 00:21:15,021
It works!
697
00:21:15,089 --> 00:21:17,023
All right, look at me so I can finish!
698
00:21:17,091 --> 00:21:18,024
Look at him!
699
00:21:18,092 --> 00:21:20,026
Happy New Year!
700
00:21:44,251 --> 00:21:45,982
Thanks for the car, assholes.
701
00:21:46,102 --> 00:21:47,467
Eat my dick!
702
00:21:50,023 --> 00:21:52,633
I'm gonna blast this trophy in the butt!
703
00:21:52,753 --> 00:21:58,571
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
704
00:21:58,621 --> 00:22:03,171
Repair and Synchronization by
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