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1
00:00:03,997 --> 00:00:05,498
ANDRE: Look at her go. Wow.
2
00:00:05,565 --> 00:00:09,702
JENNY: I was the designated driver for
nine months, and now it's your turn.
3
00:00:09,769 --> 00:00:11,770
RUXIN: So, Jenny, while
you're drinking your way to
4
00:00:11,838 --> 00:00:13,625
Mother of the Year Award, who's
taking care of Chalupa Batman?
5
00:00:13,746 --> 00:00:14,680
Christopher Benjamin?
6
00:00:14,747 --> 00:00:16,048
TACO: My mom's in town.
7
00:00:16,116 --> 00:00:17,049
She's watching the kids.
8
00:00:17,117 --> 00:00:18,050
(groans)
9
00:00:18,118 --> 00:00:19,051
That woman hates me.
10
00:00:19,119 --> 00:00:21,053
KEVIN: No, she does not hate you.
11
00:00:21,121 --> 00:00:22,054
No, she doesn't hate you.
12
00:00:22,122 --> 00:00:24,223
She just thinks Kevin could've
done better, that's all.
13
00:00:24,291 --> 00:00:25,357
She's an anti-Semite.
14
00:00:25,425 --> 00:00:26,358
No, she's not.
15
00:00:26,426 --> 00:00:27,426
No. You got that wrong.
16
00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:28,794
She doesn't like kites.
17
00:00:28,861 --> 00:00:29,928
She thinks they're dangerous.
18
00:00:29,996 --> 00:00:32,030
And by the way, my roommate,
George, is coming by.
19
00:00:32,099 --> 00:00:33,357
Please don't embarrass me.
20
00:00:33,477 --> 00:00:35,101
PETE: How is that possible, Taco?
21
00:00:35,168 --> 00:00:36,135
Come on, look at you guys.
22
00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:38,471
I still can't believe you
have a legitimate apartment.
23
00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:39,572
Yeah, it's nicer than Pete's.
24
00:00:39,639 --> 00:00:40,573
Of course it is.
25
00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:41,640
I make a shit-ton of money.
26
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:42,641
Hey, what's up, George?
27
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:43,642
How's it going?
28
00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:44,710
How's it going, girl?
29
00:00:44,777 --> 00:00:46,378
Boom, boom, ugh.
30
00:00:46,446 --> 00:00:47,980
Sweet tiger.
31
00:00:48,047 --> 00:00:49,215
Thanks. I'm into tigers.
32
00:00:49,282 --> 00:00:50,416
Hi, I'm George.
33
00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:52,651
Is George short for something else?
34
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:54,820
My parents were just like,
really into George Lopez.
35
00:00:54,887 --> 00:00:57,256
Well, George, these are
some people I know.
36
00:00:57,324 --> 00:00:58,424
That's Ruxin, my lawyer.
37
00:00:58,492 --> 00:01:01,994
Oh, he could probably help you with that
jaywalking/public urination ticket.
38
00:01:02,061 --> 00:01:02,995
I know.
39
00:01:03,062 --> 00:01:03,996
That was total bull crap.
40
00:01:04,063 --> 00:01:05,464
I was not jaywalking.
41
00:01:05,532 --> 00:01:07,065
I had both feet on the sidewalk.
42
00:01:07,134 --> 00:01:11,069
I knew it, the po-po knew it,
everyone in that bakery knew it.
43
00:01:11,138 --> 00:01:13,239
You were just pissing your pants?
44
00:01:13,306 --> 00:01:15,274
In her defense, she didn't
know that she was urinating.
45
00:01:15,342 --> 00:01:16,509
I was drunk.
46
00:01:16,576 --> 00:01:18,744
Like, it's not public urination
if it's involuntary.
47
00:01:18,811 --> 00:01:19,845
It's like a heart attack.
48
00:01:19,912 --> 00:01:21,347
To my credit, I was, like, 85%
49
00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:23,642
sure I was in a Del Taco.
50
00:01:23,762 --> 00:01:29,636
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
51
00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:30,789
That was so great, babe.
52
00:01:30,857 --> 00:01:31,823
Hold on.
53
00:01:31,891 --> 00:01:32,958
So much fun.
54
00:01:33,026 --> 00:01:35,294
We should totally do that,
like, every week, right?
55
00:01:35,362 --> 00:01:36,295
Oh, totally.
56
00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:37,296
Yeah, I know.
57
00:01:37,364 --> 00:01:38,297
Yeah. Great.
58
00:01:38,365 --> 00:01:39,298
I'm going back.
59
00:01:39,366 --> 00:01:40,366
Wow. You're late.
60
00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:41,767
Hey, Ma.
61
00:01:41,834 --> 00:01:43,969
Well, it looks like
you've had a lot of fun.
62
00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:45,003
Yeah.
63
00:01:45,071 --> 00:01:49,275
I will go check on Christopher 'cause
I bet he is ready to mow down, so...
64
00:01:49,342 --> 00:01:50,476
Yeah.
65
00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:54,280
You're-you're gonna test first
before you breastfeed, aren't you?
66
00:01:54,347 --> 00:01:55,281
Do you have some test strips?
67
00:01:55,348 --> 00:01:56,282
Oh... sure.
68
00:01:56,349 --> 00:01:57,283
Strips?
69
00:01:57,350 --> 00:02:00,319
No, I got the... Because I've got
some right here that you can have.
70
00:02:00,387 --> 00:02:02,454
Those are like Breathalyzers
for your breast milk.
71
00:02:02,522 --> 00:02:03,789
A breastalyzer.
72
00:02:03,856 --> 00:02:05,524
So why don't you test?
73
00:02:05,592 --> 00:02:06,625
Yeah.
74
00:02:06,693 --> 00:02:09,528
And bring the strip back... Yeah, you know...
...so we can take a look at
75
00:02:09,596 --> 00:02:10,462
it. I'd like to see it.
76
00:02:10,530 --> 00:02:12,498
You know, I'm gonna show you,
'cause it's gonna be fine.
77
00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:13,332
Great.
78
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:14,166
Going to test.
79
00:02:14,234 --> 00:02:15,000
All right, babe.
80
00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:16,068
One, two, three, testing.
81
00:02:16,135 --> 00:02:17,236
Tell me the truth.
82
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:18,737
Is she okay with the kids?
83
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:22,174
Yeah, look how well Ellie turned out.
84
00:02:22,242 --> 00:02:24,910
Honey, the child is a disaster.
85
00:02:24,977 --> 00:02:27,379
Oh, and by the way, it's Elizabeth now.
86
00:02:27,447 --> 00:02:28,581
I'm sorry?
87
00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:29,648
We decided that tonight.
88
00:02:29,716 --> 00:02:30,916
Oh, no, no.
89
00:02:30,983 --> 00:02:32,318
I prefer it, she prefers it.
90
00:02:32,385 --> 00:02:34,520
Mom... She's very happy.
91
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:36,255
I win. Positive.
92
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:37,323
Good. See?
93
00:02:37,390 --> 00:02:38,324
Positive.
94
00:02:38,391 --> 00:02:41,660
No, this means that your breast
milk is loaded with alcohol.
95
00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:42,661
What?
96
00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:44,530
So you're gonna have to pump and dump.
97
00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:45,664
No, this is liquid gold.
98
00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:47,866
Well, it's more like Goldschlager.
99
00:02:47,934 --> 00:02:49,702
You don't have to keep talking.
100
00:02:49,769 --> 00:02:51,870
Do you want Christopher to
get drunk on tent whiskey?
101
00:02:51,938 --> 00:02:53,205
I was drinking gimlets.
102
00:02:53,273 --> 00:02:55,407
And tequila.
103
00:02:55,475 --> 00:02:57,676
All the more reason to pump and dump.
104
00:02:57,744 --> 00:02:59,077
Okay, look, look, fine, fine.
105
00:02:59,145 --> 00:03:00,078
Fine, fine.
106
00:03:00,146 --> 00:03:01,413
I am going to pump and dump.
107
00:03:01,481 --> 00:03:03,682
Okay, well, I'm gonna go
check on Elizabeth, then.
108
00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:06,885
Who the hell is Elizabeth?
109
00:03:06,953 --> 00:03:08,387
So, how's your houseguest?
110
00:03:08,455 --> 00:03:09,521
Mom McArthur treating you right?
111
00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:11,957
Yeah, she's been great at
pointing out what a horrible mom
112
00:03:12,024 --> 00:03:13,459
and human being I am.
113
00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:17,062
Which reminds me, she signed me
up for that Mommy & Me class,
114
00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:18,564
and you are going to bring me.
115
00:03:18,632 --> 00:03:19,698
Oh, I don't want to.
116
00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:20,699
It's so uncomfortable.
117
00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:22,968
What guy wants to go to a
place full of boobs where
118
00:03:23,035 --> 00:03:24,970
there's no chance for
a sexual encounter?
119
00:03:25,037 --> 00:03:27,406
The first time I ever went in
there, it was like I was driving
120
00:03:27,474 --> 00:03:29,875
on the highway and there was an
accident, and a breast truck
121
00:03:29,942 --> 00:03:32,611
just flipped over and there were
just titties scattered everywhere.
122
00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:34,613
Oh, that's right. I forgot
you guys hate to catch a
123
00:03:34,681 --> 00:03:36,482
glimpse of a tittie
every now and again.
124
00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:38,784
No, we love seeing the boobs,
but not in this casual context.
125
00:03:38,851 --> 00:03:40,051
It's inappropriate.
126
00:03:40,119 --> 00:03:42,921
Breasts are meant to be ogled
and fondled, not tugged at like
127
00:03:42,989 --> 00:03:45,791
some raccoon pulling on a trash bag.
128
00:03:45,858 --> 00:03:47,092
Hi, guys.
129
00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:48,126
Hey, how's it going?
130
00:03:48,194 --> 00:03:52,765
This is for Christopher, and I'm
going to make him a cap to match.
131
00:03:52,832 --> 00:03:53,732
Oh, Martha, thank you.
132
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,834
Because I notice how
cold it is in his room.
133
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:56,835
Hey, guys.
134
00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:57,903
Hey.
135
00:03:57,970 --> 00:03:59,104
Oh, there he is.
136
00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:00,406
Oh, bitsy boy.
137
00:04:00,473 --> 00:04:03,342
Oh, I've hardly seen you
since I've been here.
138
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:04,677
You've been so busy.
139
00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:06,745
But I always make time to come
and check in on these guys
140
00:04:06,813 --> 00:04:08,781
and to help out with little Elizabeth.
141
00:04:08,848 --> 00:04:09,782
Oh, God.
142
00:04:09,849 --> 00:04:10,916
Hear how he made his nut?
143
00:04:10,983 --> 00:04:13,185
He did tell me he made his nut.
144
00:04:13,252 --> 00:04:15,487
I made my nut. Empires don't
get built on couches, huh, you
145
00:04:15,555 --> 00:04:17,489
know what I saying? Someone's
got to work around here.
146
00:04:17,557 --> 00:04:19,491
Well, I know you have to rush
off, but are you hungry?
147
00:04:19,559 --> 00:04:20,492
Why don't I make you something?
148
00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:22,494
Oh, I don't want to put you out.
149
00:04:22,562 --> 00:04:25,497
Besides, Jenny doesn't really keep
any fresh deli meat in the house.
150
00:04:25,565 --> 00:04:27,533
Well, let's see what I can do
with what we've got, okay?
151
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:28,534
Okay.
152
00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:29,535
She's the best.
153
00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:30,536
She's killing me.
154
00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:33,104
Do you know I am being submitted
to random breast drug tests?
155
00:04:33,172 --> 00:04:33,972
What?
156
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:34,973
I'm like Lance Armstrong.
157
00:04:35,041 --> 00:04:36,942
Maybe they'll strip me of my kids.
158
00:04:37,009 --> 00:04:37,943
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
159
00:04:38,010 --> 00:04:38,944
Hey, come on, just a sip.
160
00:04:39,011 --> 00:04:40,779
Easy, Livestrong, you're on probation.
161
00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:41,613
I mean, come on.
162
00:04:41,681 --> 00:04:43,515
Taco, what's up with
your roommate, George?
163
00:04:43,583 --> 00:04:44,516
She's super cute.
164
00:04:44,584 --> 00:04:45,351
Yeah, she is.
165
00:04:45,418 --> 00:04:47,152
You ever think of hitting that?
166
00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:48,153
That's a rude question.
167
00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:49,054
Yeah, we... all the time.
168
00:04:49,121 --> 00:04:50,856
Wait, you're sleeping with George?
169
00:04:50,923 --> 00:04:51,690
Uh-huh.
170
00:04:51,758 --> 00:04:53,859
Listen, I don't want to be the
bearer of bad news, but you
171
00:04:53,926 --> 00:04:55,994
guys are living together and
you're sleeping together.
172
00:04:56,062 --> 00:04:58,163
I mean, you're in a relationship.
173
00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:00,165
No, we're just having sex and
we're both not paying rent.
174
00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:00,999
That is it.
175
00:05:01,067 --> 00:05:02,835
Quick question, how many bedrooms?
176
00:05:02,902 --> 00:05:03,669
Two.
177
00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:04,803
How many do you sleep in?
178
00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:05,804
One.
179
00:05:05,872 --> 00:05:08,206
And when you come in, do you
feel the need to say hi to her?
180
00:05:08,274 --> 00:05:10,141
Of course, but that's because
we're gonna have sex.
181
00:05:10,209 --> 00:05:12,978
Well, have you lost your individual
identity and compromised yourself as a man?
182
00:05:13,045 --> 00:05:16,014
Well, yeah, but that's just so
that she doesn't get mad at me.
183
00:05:16,082 --> 00:05:17,015
Bitsy boy has a girlfriend.
184
00:05:17,083 --> 00:05:18,016
What?
185
00:05:18,084 --> 00:05:19,017
Yeah!
186
00:05:19,085 --> 00:05:20,018
I have one of these?
187
00:05:20,086 --> 00:05:21,387
(gagging)
188
00:05:21,454 --> 00:05:22,554
Hey.
189
00:05:22,622 --> 00:05:25,190
Oh, my God, oh, my God,
I'm in a relationship!
190
00:05:25,258 --> 00:05:26,191
Oh, my God.
191
00:05:26,259 --> 00:05:27,325
Sweetheart, your sandwich.
192
00:05:27,394 --> 00:05:28,660
Ooh.
193
00:05:28,728 --> 00:05:29,928
Thanks, Mommy.
194
00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:32,063
It's not very fresh, but I
put lots of mustard on it.
195
00:05:32,131 --> 00:05:33,198
Oh, my God.
196
00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:35,401
Oh, Jenny, time to
test the breast milk.
197
00:05:35,468 --> 00:05:36,402
No.
198
00:05:36,469 --> 00:05:37,503
You're getting a BUI.
199
00:05:37,570 --> 00:05:39,671
But Christopher is child number two.
200
00:05:39,739 --> 00:05:41,840
You cannot tell me that you
weren't more lax with Taco.
201
00:05:41,908 --> 00:05:43,208
What do you mean?
202
00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:44,209
Taco, it's locked.
203
00:05:44,277 --> 00:05:45,411
He's extremely successful.
204
00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:47,078
The other unlock, Taco.
205
00:05:47,146 --> 00:05:48,079
He's an entrepreneur.
206
00:05:48,147 --> 00:05:49,080
Yep, now you got it.
207
00:05:49,148 --> 00:05:50,081
Got it!
208
00:05:50,149 --> 00:05:52,017
He's a self-made man.
209
00:05:52,084 --> 00:05:54,185
He has started so many businesses.
210
00:05:54,253 --> 00:05:56,688
He's ambitious; he's never
worked for anyone but himself.
211
00:05:56,756 --> 00:05:59,396
He's a very high-functioning young man.
212
00:05:59,516 --> 00:06:01,894
High being the operative word.
213
00:06:10,108 --> 00:06:12,777
RAFFI: I can't believe you're still in
a league with these dumb dildos, man.
214
00:06:12,844 --> 00:06:13,610
You mean my best friends?
215
00:06:13,679 --> 00:06:14,444
Yeah, our best friends.
216
00:06:14,512 --> 00:06:15,279
How's Brian?
217
00:06:15,346 --> 00:06:16,113
Kevin?
218
00:06:16,181 --> 00:06:17,882
Still married to that Asian girl?
219
00:06:17,949 --> 00:06:18,783
Jenny, who's white? Yep.
220
00:06:18,850 --> 00:06:20,584
All right, Raffi, I'll
see you later, buddy.
221
00:06:20,652 --> 00:06:22,252
Honey, Baby Geoffrey swim class, 2:30.
222
00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:23,120
Today?
223
00:06:23,188 --> 00:06:23,954
Yeah.
224
00:06:24,022 --> 00:06:25,089
It's every Sunday?
225
00:06:25,157 --> 00:06:27,658
No, it's not every Sunday,
but it's fall and winter.
226
00:06:27,726 --> 00:06:29,393
The last class is on February 3.
227
00:06:29,460 --> 00:06:30,394
Super Bowl Sunday?
228
00:06:30,461 --> 00:06:32,262
Ah, you don't care about that shit.
229
00:06:32,330 --> 00:06:34,431
Oh, great, so I'll just go
swimming with Geoffrey and a
230
00:06:34,499 --> 00:06:37,042
bunch of disgusting children in a hot pool
on Sundays instead of watching football.
231
00:06:37,162 --> 00:06:37,887
You're a great daddy.
232
00:06:38,001 --> 00:06:38,934
I love you, babe. Bye.
233
00:06:39,002 --> 00:06:39,935
I love you.
234
00:06:40,003 --> 00:06:43,347
I could watch her walk
out of a room for hours.
235
00:06:43,606 --> 00:06:45,207
My sister's body is bonkers.
236
00:06:45,275 --> 00:06:46,374
I hope you are hitting that.
237
00:06:46,442 --> 00:06:47,883
You know what, I have an idea.
238
00:06:48,003 --> 00:06:49,178
Jerk-off party?
239
00:06:49,245 --> 00:06:50,012
No. No.
240
00:06:50,079 --> 00:06:50,846
Let's do this.
241
00:06:50,914 --> 00:06:52,345
I like where this is going.
Okay, put it away and just listen to me.
242
00:06:52,465 --> 00:06:55,607
What if you took
Geoffrey to swim class?
243
00:06:55,727 --> 00:06:56,486
Yes, done.
244
00:06:56,606 --> 00:06:59,186
Obviously your kid needs a male
role model, 'cause I'll be
245
00:06:59,305 --> 00:07:01,139
honest with you, he's soft.
246
00:07:01,207 --> 00:07:02,207
'Cause he's four.
247
00:07:02,275 --> 00:07:03,308
'Cause he's your son.
248
00:07:03,376 --> 00:07:04,309
No.
249
00:07:04,377 --> 00:07:06,545
You spend all your time
reading books, and looking at
250
00:07:06,612 --> 00:07:10,208
numbers and letters like
they mean something.
251
00:07:10,328 --> 00:07:11,094
They do.
252
00:07:11,162 --> 00:07:11,928
Do you know how to read?
253
00:07:11,996 --> 00:07:13,213
I get by, all right?
254
00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:14,332
What do you know?
255
00:07:14,452 --> 00:07:16,438
- You know, like... red means stop.
- Great.
256
00:07:16,558 --> 00:07:17,731
- Green means go.
- Good.
257
00:07:17,851 --> 00:07:18,664
Yellow's the other one.
258
00:07:18,753 --> 00:07:19,919
Do you want to do this with Geoffrey?
259
00:07:19,980 --> 00:07:20,749
Yes, I'm telling you.
260
00:07:20,869 --> 00:07:21,309
Okay.
261
00:07:21,355 --> 00:07:22,706
I really want to...
Then you need to listen to these rules.
262
00:07:22,826 --> 00:07:24,212
- I'm listening!
- Red!
263
00:07:24,713 --> 00:07:25,932
Okay, a few rules.
264
00:07:26,052 --> 00:07:27,395
One, no smoking.
265
00:07:27,515 --> 00:07:28,315
Cigarettes or drugs?
266
00:07:28,383 --> 00:07:29,149
Both.
267
00:07:29,217 --> 00:07:31,099
Oh, come on.
How long does this class even last?
268
00:07:31,219 --> 00:07:31,905
Like an hour.
269
00:07:32,141 --> 00:07:32,875
What?
270
00:07:32,995 --> 00:07:34,181
Two, no swearing.
271
00:07:34,301 --> 00:07:35,322
Oh, shit on me.
272
00:07:35,390 --> 00:07:37,304
Three, no knives.
273
00:07:37,424 --> 00:07:38,624
What if there's an attack?
274
00:07:38,692 --> 00:07:40,109
It's a bunch of children
and mothers in a pool.
275
00:07:40,229 --> 00:07:41,813
That's exactly what I would attack.
276
00:07:41,921 --> 00:07:44,113
And here's the fourth, and
this is the most important.
277
00:07:44,233 --> 00:07:47,247
You need to pretend to be me,
and that's our secret, okay?
278
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:49,101
So that Sofia doesn't know...
All right.
279
00:07:49,168 --> 00:07:50,902
...that you're pretending
to be Rodney Ruxin.
280
00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:51,565
- Yeah.
- Do we have a deal?
281
00:07:51,685 --> 00:07:52,485
Yeah. Deal.
282
00:07:52,715 --> 00:07:54,063
- Great.
- No, wait. Do you have a sister?
283
00:07:54,183 --> 00:07:55,555
- Yeah.
- I get to do her.
284
00:07:55,675 --> 00:07:57,536
She lives in Milwaukee, she's
married to a dentist, and she's
285
00:07:57,656 --> 00:07:59,165
got IBS, so have at her.
286
00:07:59,267 --> 00:08:01,735
Oh, I will.
287
00:08:01,803 --> 00:08:03,971
So George and I have a
couple's night planned, which
288
00:08:04,039 --> 00:08:05,239
you guys are all invited to.
289
00:08:05,307 --> 00:08:07,208
I'm down for a night out.
290
00:08:07,275 --> 00:08:09,409
Can't do it, Mama's watching.
291
00:08:09,477 --> 00:08:10,244
Whoa!
292
00:08:10,312 --> 00:08:12,213
Larry Fitzgerald TD!
293
00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:15,449
I have got so many receivers, I don't
even know what to do with them all.
294
00:08:15,516 --> 00:08:16,283
Please.
295
00:08:16,351 --> 00:08:17,218
Maybe trade them away.
296
00:08:17,285 --> 00:08:18,219
Make me an offer.
297
00:08:18,286 --> 00:08:19,086
Somebody's hungry.
298
00:08:19,154 --> 00:08:21,588
Oh... Look who it is.
299
00:08:21,656 --> 00:08:24,058
Hopefully he can eat
without having a hangover.
300
00:08:24,125 --> 00:08:26,260
Oh... Here we go, mister.
301
00:08:26,328 --> 00:08:27,794
Buddy, are you hungry?
302
00:08:27,863 --> 00:08:28,795
Are you hungry?
303
00:08:28,864 --> 00:08:29,629
Okay.
304
00:08:29,697 --> 00:08:31,298
Oh, no... Oh, come on, Jenny.
305
00:08:31,366 --> 00:08:32,299
Really?
306
00:08:32,367 --> 00:08:33,133
Oh, Jenny, please.
307
00:08:33,201 --> 00:08:34,134
Look, Jenny, I'm sorry.
308
00:08:34,202 --> 00:08:35,836
Are we doing that right
here, right now?
309
00:08:35,904 --> 00:08:36,937
What?
310
00:08:37,005 --> 00:08:39,173
There are gentlemen here
trying to watch a game.
311
00:08:39,241 --> 00:08:40,574
The boob, hello.
312
00:08:40,641 --> 00:08:43,978
Um, yes, I am in the privacy
of my own home, the
313
00:08:44,045 --> 00:08:46,247
games are on, this is the best
TV in the house, so yeah.
314
00:08:46,314 --> 00:08:47,081
I'm sorry.
315
00:08:47,148 --> 00:08:47,915
Nobody wants to see this.
316
00:08:47,983 --> 00:08:48,749
Low class.
317
00:08:48,816 --> 00:08:50,484
This kind of stuff does
not fly at our place.
318
00:08:50,551 --> 00:08:52,253
Come on, Pete, what do you say?
319
00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:53,120
Marshawn Lynch for Wes Welker?
320
00:08:53,188 --> 00:08:55,789
I... I can't look at you and talk
to you right now, all right?
321
00:08:55,857 --> 00:08:57,491
You want some Wes Welker.
322
00:08:57,558 --> 00:08:59,326
I do not negotiate with
nipples, I'm sorry.
323
00:08:59,394 --> 00:09:01,028
You need some Wes Welker.
324
00:09:01,096 --> 00:09:01,862
Give me Doug Merton.
325
00:09:01,930 --> 00:09:03,530
All right, you know what?
326
00:09:03,598 --> 00:09:05,366
I'll pull my dick out
for Marshawn Lynch.
327
00:09:05,433 --> 00:09:06,200
No.
328
00:09:06,268 --> 00:09:07,968
I can't believe he said "no" to that.
329
00:09:08,036 --> 00:09:08,802
Neither can I.
330
00:09:08,870 --> 00:09:09,703
Look at your enemies.
331
00:09:09,771 --> 00:09:10,537
It's like prison.
332
00:09:10,605 --> 00:09:12,206
Find the strongest person... Arms up!
333
00:09:12,274 --> 00:09:14,008
...separate her from the rest.
334
00:09:14,075 --> 00:09:15,976
Separate the chubby girl, 'cause
she looks like she runs this
335
00:09:16,044 --> 00:09:16,944
place.
336
00:09:17,012 --> 00:09:17,978
Take her down.
337
00:09:18,046 --> 00:09:19,679
Remember what I told
you about karate chop?
338
00:09:19,747 --> 00:09:20,514
What are you gonna do?
339
00:09:20,581 --> 00:09:21,681
Show me. Come on!
340
00:09:21,749 --> 00:09:22,616
Oh, that's right.
341
00:09:22,683 --> 00:09:25,786
Now, remember... if anybody
asks, I'm your father.
342
00:09:25,853 --> 00:09:26,787
Let's do this.
343
00:09:26,854 --> 00:09:28,622
Oh, I'm seeing some new faces.
344
00:09:28,689 --> 00:09:29,623
Hi!
345
00:09:29,690 --> 00:09:30,457
How you doing?
346
00:09:30,525 --> 00:09:31,292
I'm Gail.
347
00:09:31,359 --> 00:09:33,360
Rodney Ruxin, Esquire.
348
00:09:33,428 --> 00:09:34,194
Nice to meet you.
349
00:09:34,262 --> 00:09:35,162
Means I'm a lawyer.
350
00:09:35,230 --> 00:09:35,996
Great.
351
00:09:36,064 --> 00:09:37,164
This is, uh, Geoffrey.
352
00:09:37,232 --> 00:09:38,632
Hey, Geoffrey.
353
00:09:38,699 --> 00:09:39,666
Are you ready to swim?
354
00:09:39,734 --> 00:09:40,534
Let's do this!
355
00:09:40,601 --> 00:09:41,368
Nice.
356
00:09:41,436 --> 00:09:43,237
How many kids you got in this class?
357
00:09:43,305 --> 00:09:44,071
Uh, about ten.
358
00:09:44,139 --> 00:09:45,839
How many do you expect to survive?
359
00:09:45,907 --> 00:09:46,673
All of them.
360
00:09:46,741 --> 00:09:49,676
If you're doing your job right,
only the strong survive.
361
00:09:49,744 --> 00:09:50,577
All right, Mr. Ruxin.
362
00:09:50,645 --> 00:09:52,413
Everybody calls me Rodney.
363
00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:53,247
Cool.
364
00:09:53,315 --> 00:09:55,215
All right, we're gonna start
with the Superhero, okay?
365
00:09:55,283 --> 00:09:57,017
All you do, bend forward, and
then you're gonna act like
366
00:09:57,085 --> 00:09:59,920
a superhero, put your arms up and
then you push the water back.
367
00:09:59,988 --> 00:10:01,855
Remember what I taught you.
368
00:10:01,923 --> 00:10:02,756
Do this, but then stab.
369
00:10:02,824 --> 00:10:04,091
Just do stab, stab.
370
00:10:04,159 --> 00:10:06,060
Swim, swim, stab.
371
00:10:06,127 --> 00:10:07,995
Who wants to get in the pool?
372
00:10:08,063 --> 00:10:09,696
Getting in the pool now?
373
00:10:09,764 --> 00:10:10,530
Yeah.
374
00:10:10,598 --> 00:10:11,365
Cool.
375
00:10:11,433 --> 00:10:12,499
Nice and steady, all right?
376
00:10:12,567 --> 00:10:14,734
Not too hard, not too
rough, just little kicks.
377
00:10:14,802 --> 00:10:15,569
Good, nice and gentle.
378
00:10:15,636 --> 00:10:16,403
Little teeny kicks.
379
00:10:16,471 --> 00:10:17,404
There you go.
380
00:10:17,472 --> 00:10:18,405
Come on.
381
00:10:18,473 --> 00:10:19,406
Nice!
382
00:10:19,474 --> 00:10:21,408
Okay, kick... keep kicking.
383
00:10:21,476 --> 00:10:24,945
Raffi bomb!
384
00:10:28,083 --> 00:10:28,949
Whoa!
385
00:10:29,017 --> 00:10:29,850
What are you doing?
386
00:10:29,917 --> 00:10:31,685
You have not held him underwater.
387
00:10:31,752 --> 00:10:33,620
You have not done anything that
is viable survival skills.
388
00:10:33,688 --> 00:10:34,455
Okay.
389
00:10:34,522 --> 00:10:36,256
Well, I'm teaching him
how to kick and float.
390
00:10:36,324 --> 00:10:37,871
You've got him all hooked up to all this stuff.
What is this stuff?
391
00:10:37,939 --> 00:10:40,609
You think, when the Russians attack,
we're all gonna get one of these?
392
00:10:40,729 --> 00:10:41,979
Wasting this kid's time.
393
00:10:42,099 --> 00:10:43,077
You know what?
394
00:10:43,145 --> 00:10:45,786
First of all, I appreciate
your enthusiasm, okay?
395
00:10:45,906 --> 00:10:48,174
Because all these other dads,
they come out here, they just
396
00:10:48,242 --> 00:10:50,143
check their phones for the
football scores, and I like that
397
00:10:50,210 --> 00:10:52,412
you're in the pool and
you're taking an interest.
398
00:10:52,479 --> 00:10:53,775
Yeah, I'm not like these other dads.
399
00:10:53,895 --> 00:10:54,907
They're weak.
400
00:10:55,027 --> 00:10:56,449
Like your husband, I'm sure.
401
00:10:56,517 --> 00:11:00,786
Well, I'm single, so...
Whee!
402
00:11:00,854 --> 00:11:02,088
How's it going?
403
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:12,742
Hey, everybody, welcome to Mommy & Me.
404
00:11:12,862 --> 00:11:14,663
We're gonna get started
in a few minutes.
405
00:11:14,731 --> 00:11:16,498
- Hi, sorry I'm late.
- Oh, hey! Oh, no problem.
406
00:11:16,566 --> 00:11:18,247
(quietly): Hey hey hey.
407
00:11:18,367 --> 00:11:19,906
2:00, Kristin Cavallari.
408
00:11:20,026 --> 00:11:21,036
There's a spot right over there.
409
00:11:21,104 --> 00:11:22,164
That'd be great, thank you.
410
00:11:22,284 --> 00:11:23,233
You know who she's engaged to?
411
00:11:23,353 --> 00:11:23,967
Jay Cutler.
412
00:11:24,087 --> 00:11:24,962
And she brought the Cutler baby.
413
00:11:25,442 --> 00:11:26,209
The Cutlet.
414
00:11:26,276 --> 00:11:27,176
That's Baby Cutlet.
415
00:11:27,244 --> 00:11:28,011
She's coming over here.
416
00:11:28,078 --> 00:11:29,712
Hi, is there room for me here?
417
00:11:29,779 --> 00:11:30,546
Uh, yeah.
418
00:11:30,614 --> 00:11:32,248
Yes, in fact, he was just leaving.
419
00:11:32,316 --> 00:11:33,082
He can totally scoot over.
420
00:11:33,150 --> 00:11:34,083
No, nope. I'm staying.
421
00:11:34,151 --> 00:11:35,267
Gosh, I thought I was gonna be so late.
I had to pump.
422
00:11:35,387 --> 00:11:36,510
Oh, no, you're good,
they're running late.
423
00:11:36,630 --> 00:11:38,600
Should I clear out some
space for Daddy here?
424
00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:40,912
Oh, no, Daddy would love to
be here, but he's working.
425
00:11:41,032 --> 00:11:41,720
Oh.
426
00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:42,503
Yeah.
427
00:11:42,623 --> 00:11:43,361
Oh. Daddy's working.
428
00:11:43,481 --> 00:11:47,094
Oh, I know that look, that's the
"oh, I wish Jay was coming" look.
429
00:11:47,214 --> 00:11:47,989
Jay?
430
00:11:48,109 --> 00:11:51,185
Jay... Who's this Jay you speak of?
431
00:11:51,305 --> 00:11:52,744
You can cut the shit.
432
00:11:52,864 --> 00:11:57,232
Oh... Right, Jay! The... Jay... the quarter...
quarter thrower.
433
00:11:57,352 --> 00:11:58,541
You know what's so ridiculous?
434
00:11:58,608 --> 00:12:00,243
Guys used to come up to me
and hit on me all the time.
435
00:12:00,310 --> 00:12:03,879
Now I can't go anywhere without guys
coming up like, "Hey, how's Jay's thumb?"
436
00:12:03,947 --> 00:12:06,382
Or, "How many yards do you
think he's gonna throw for?"
437
00:12:06,450 --> 00:12:08,051
That is so inappropriate.
438
00:12:08,118 --> 00:12:08,884
I know.
439
00:12:08,952 --> 00:12:10,444
How is his thumb?
440
00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:11,686
Really?
441
00:12:11,753 --> 00:12:12,520
You, too?
442
00:12:12,587 --> 00:12:13,354
Sorry.
443
00:12:13,422 --> 00:12:15,389
We can absolutely talk about
how beautiful your baby is.
444
00:12:15,457 --> 00:12:17,794
All the other players
must just love him.
445
00:12:17,914 --> 00:12:19,681
Bet you Matt Forte
thinks he's really cute.
446
00:12:19,749 --> 00:12:21,383
Matt is great with him, yeah.
447
00:12:21,450 --> 00:12:22,217
Yeah.
448
00:12:22,284 --> 00:12:22,934
Probably just bounces him on his knee.
449
00:12:23,054 --> 00:12:25,060
As long as his ankle is strong enough.
450
00:12:25,180 --> 00:12:27,159
Let me guess.
You didn't draft Michael Bush.
451
00:12:27,279 --> 00:12:28,949
Forgot to handcuff him to Matt Forte?
452
00:12:29,069 --> 00:12:32,599
Listen, Cavallari, all I'm looking
for is a little bit of information.
453
00:12:32,719 --> 00:12:34,415
Monday night's game vs. Dallas.
454
00:12:34,535 --> 00:12:36,080
Forte's listed as questionable.
455
00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:37,870
I mean, what is questionable?
456
00:12:37,990 --> 00:12:38,442
What is it?
457
00:12:38,562 --> 00:12:40,121
It's how you're behaving right now.
458
00:12:40,752 --> 00:12:42,008
Mmm, touch?, Cavallari.
459
00:12:42,128 --> 00:12:45,457
Oh, and I think something questionable
is going on in that diaper.
460
00:12:45,577 --> 00:12:46,663
Oh, come here, buddy.
461
00:12:46,783 --> 00:12:48,416
That is a Cutler poop.
462
00:12:48,536 --> 00:12:50,180
Cutler poop, Cutler poop.
463
00:12:50,300 --> 00:12:51,921
That must be a monster poop.
464
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:54,047
I think that went really well.
465
00:12:54,699 --> 00:12:56,067
Wait... what are you doing?
466
00:12:56,187 --> 00:12:57,398
That's some good milk.
467
00:12:57,518 --> 00:12:59,020
Don't you dare touch that milk.
468
00:12:59,140 --> 00:13:00,015
That is not your milk.
469
00:13:00,135 --> 00:13:00,923
But it could be.
470
00:13:01,043 --> 00:13:01,669
Leave it alone.
471
00:13:01,789 --> 00:13:02,639
I'm gonna steal that milk.
472
00:13:02,759 --> 00:13:04,536
No, you're not gonna steal breast milk.
473
00:13:04,656 --> 00:13:07,695
I am gonna take it to Taco's party,
have a couple drinks, and let your mom
474
00:13:07,815 --> 00:13:08,632
breastalyze that.
475
00:13:08,752 --> 00:13:11,333
You are ruining my chances of becoming
best friends with Jay Cutler.
476
00:13:11,453 --> 00:13:14,006
You have no chance of being
best friends with Jay Cutler.
477
00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:19,141
I have a chance of having a great time
and a couple of drinks at Taco's party.
478
00:13:19,261 --> 00:13:20,267
You really want to milk-dope?
479
00:13:20,387 --> 00:13:21,050
Come on, babe.
480
00:13:21,170 --> 00:13:22,244
Cutler baby breast milk?
481
00:13:22,364 --> 00:13:23,898
Think about how strong
our baby will be.
482
00:13:24,018 --> 00:13:24,913
Oh, God.
483
00:13:25,261 --> 00:13:27,439
Cutler baby breast milk
inside of our son.
484
00:13:27,559 --> 00:13:30,567
He could be a quarterback at
least at junior high level.
485
00:13:30,687 --> 00:13:31,746
- Come on.
- All right, I'm in.
486
00:13:31,866 --> 00:13:32,784
- Yeah?
- Let's do it.
487
00:13:32,904 --> 00:13:34,895
- Okay. Cover me.
- Okay.
488
00:13:36,629 --> 00:13:37,362
Okay.
489
00:13:37,482 --> 00:13:38,183
Stop.
490
00:13:38,303 --> 00:13:39,190
Hey, how you guys doing over there?
491
00:13:39,310 --> 00:13:40,620
- Great.
- So good.
492
00:13:40,740 --> 00:13:41,899
Good. Good.
493
00:13:42,019 --> 00:13:43,946
Go, go, go.
Go, go.
494
00:13:44,066 --> 00:13:45,040
Okay, okay.
495
00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:47,335
Go, go, go, go, go, go.
496
00:13:47,403 --> 00:13:48,436
Okay.
497
00:13:48,504 --> 00:13:49,270
Oh, are you guys leaving?
498
00:13:49,338 --> 00:13:50,788
Oh, those poopy positions.
499
00:13:50,908 --> 00:13:52,283
Yeah, I had Thai for lunch.
500
00:13:52,403 --> 00:13:54,148
Oh... Yeah, we're gonna
have to skedaddle.
501
00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:55,267
Hey, tell Jay to call me.
502
00:13:55,387 --> 00:13:56,249
He's not gonna call.
503
00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:57,033
Bye, Kristin.
504
00:13:57,269 --> 00:13:58,015
Bye.
505
00:14:00,296 --> 00:14:01,938
(knocking)
506
00:14:02,058 --> 00:14:03,688
Ah, hello, friends.
507
00:14:03,808 --> 00:14:04,509
Come on in.
508
00:14:04,629 --> 00:14:05,605
Hey! Thank you.
509
00:14:05,725 --> 00:14:06,960
Good to see you guys.
510
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:09,373
Welcome to our humble abodes.
511
00:14:09,493 --> 00:14:10,684
You live in one abode.
512
00:14:10,804 --> 00:14:12,790
I hope there was a lot of
traffic on the way over here so
513
00:14:12,910 --> 00:14:13,984
we have stuff to talk about.
514
00:14:14,104 --> 00:14:14,668
No traffic.
515
00:14:14,788 --> 00:14:16,172
Well, thanks for making the trek.
516
00:14:16,292 --> 00:14:18,100
We really appreciate it.
We couldn't get a sitter.
517
00:14:18,220 --> 00:14:19,555
You don't have any kids, Taco.
518
00:14:19,675 --> 00:14:21,246
I heard people saying that, so... Okay.
519
00:14:21,366 --> 00:14:23,371
Hey, guys! Welcome!
520
00:14:23,439 --> 00:14:23,839
George.
521
00:14:23,906 --> 00:14:24,673
You guys remember George.
522
00:14:24,741 --> 00:14:25,406
How's it going?
523
00:14:25,474 --> 00:14:27,175
Thanks, guys, for making
the trek out here.
524
00:14:27,243 --> 00:14:28,343
We could not find a sitter.
525
00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:30,045
I tried that.
That doesn't work, apparently.
526
00:14:30,165 --> 00:14:32,146
Well, you guys have a
lot to catch up on.
527
00:14:32,266 --> 00:14:33,141
I'm gonna go to the bar.
528
00:14:33,261 --> 00:14:34,039
Make yourself at home.
529
00:14:34,159 --> 00:14:35,133
This is nice.
530
00:14:35,253 --> 00:14:36,576
Yeah, very nice.
531
00:14:36,696 --> 00:14:37,894
Two couples.
532
00:14:38,014 --> 00:14:39,320
Couple of couples.
533
00:14:39,388 --> 00:14:40,221
(both laugh)
534
00:14:40,725 --> 00:14:42,626
I have so much to learn from you guys.
535
00:14:42,694 --> 00:14:43,327
Thanks, Taco.
536
00:14:43,395 --> 00:14:44,095
Thank you, Taco.
537
00:14:44,162 --> 00:14:46,430
Notice how they're friendly
with each other, but you can
538
00:14:46,498 --> 00:14:47,944
tell there's a lot of disdain
right below the surface.
539
00:14:48,064 --> 00:14:48,618
- Yeah.
- What?
540
00:14:48,738 --> 00:14:50,956
And notice how the female
is wearing granny panties.
541
00:14:51,076 --> 00:14:52,548
I'm not wearing granny panties.
542
00:14:52,668 --> 00:14:54,114
I can tell by the way you walked in.
543
00:14:54,234 --> 00:14:57,671
The granny panties actually help Kevin
not be sexually attracted to her.
544
00:14:57,791 --> 00:14:58,479
(bell dings)
545
00:14:58,599 --> 00:15:00,478
Oh, my meatballs!
546
00:15:00,545 --> 00:15:02,591
She is such a great homemaker.
547
00:15:02,711 --> 00:15:04,846
Jesus Christ!
548
00:15:04,966 --> 00:15:06,720
How many butterflies are there, Taco?
549
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:08,576
Come. Let me show you guys around.
550
00:15:09,111 --> 00:15:12,543
And this is what people
refer to as a living room.
551
00:15:12,663 --> 00:15:14,823
To make it feel more adult
in here, we put away the
552
00:15:14,943 --> 00:15:17,733
skateboards, video games and
most of the trampolines.
553
00:15:17,853 --> 00:15:19,899
I see you kept the
hydroponics out, though.
554
00:15:20,019 --> 00:15:22,297
Those are strictly
medicinal recreational.
555
00:15:22,417 --> 00:15:25,070
And of course, we took out
our fine china for you guys.
556
00:15:25,190 --> 00:15:26,508
- Oh, the bong.
- Wow.
557
00:15:26,628 --> 00:15:28,827
And, Jenny, there's a spare
room back there if you feel the
558
00:15:28,947 --> 00:15:31,486
need to pump... instead of
standing in front of everyone
559
00:15:31,606 --> 00:15:34,103
breasts akimbo, making a
public spectacle of yourself.
560
00:15:34,223 --> 00:15:36,053
I don't do that, Taco.
561
00:15:36,481 --> 00:15:39,630
But I will need to pump while
I'm here, so thank you.
562
00:15:39,854 --> 00:15:40,450
Please.
563
00:15:40,570 --> 00:15:43,149
Now both my boys are here.
564
00:15:43,269 --> 00:15:44,767
Oh, thank you, Mom.
565
00:15:44,887 --> 00:15:46,769
Just keep her away from the punch bowl.
566
00:15:46,889 --> 00:15:48,251
- Okay, Mom.
- Wienies?
567
00:15:48,860 --> 00:15:49,507
Wienies?
568
00:15:49,627 --> 00:15:50,688
Oh, how lovely.
569
00:15:50,808 --> 00:15:55,095
The bigger ones are sausages, and
then these thin guys are sticks.
570
00:15:55,215 --> 00:15:56,883
Not edible. Thank you.
571
00:15:56,931 --> 00:15:59,075
And here is my Meadows record.
572
00:15:59,195 --> 00:16:00,729
How much of this stuff is ours?
573
00:16:00,849 --> 00:16:03,029
I know. I found my Social
Security card in the bathroom.
574
00:16:03,149 --> 00:16:05,056
Oh, friends, come on.
575
00:16:05,176 --> 00:16:06,524
Let's not talk about trivial matters.
576
00:16:06,644 --> 00:16:10,985
Oh, have you guys met my lawyer Ruxin
and his voluptuous wife Sofia?
577
00:16:11,105 --> 00:16:12,395
- Hello.
- Hi.
578
00:16:12,843 --> 00:16:13,725
Hi, friends.
579
00:16:13,845 --> 00:16:16,834
Can I offer you some
chicken ? la king tartare?
580
00:16:16,954 --> 00:16:18,498
Is that raw tuna on top of chicken?
581
00:16:18,618 --> 00:16:21,147
No, it's raw chicken
on top of Cheez Whiz.
582
00:16:21,408 --> 00:16:22,987
Oh, geez.
583
00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:27,373
I'm gonna get us a couple of drinks.
(chuckles)
584
00:16:27,493 --> 00:16:28,878
Buddy, you seen this?
585
00:16:28,998 --> 00:16:30,233
Who's the future missing person?
586
00:16:30,353 --> 00:16:32,484
She's crazy.
587
00:16:32,604 --> 00:16:35,502
We just had sex in the cab
on the way over here.
588
00:16:35,622 --> 00:16:36,521
In the back of a cab?
589
00:16:36,641 --> 00:16:38,213
In the back of her body.
590
00:16:38,333 --> 00:16:40,166
She's up for anything.
591
00:16:40,286 --> 00:16:41,754
And you know what?
I've got you to thank for it.
592
00:16:41,874 --> 00:16:44,563
- How so?
- I met her at the swim class.
593
00:16:44,683 --> 00:16:46,789
Wait, Raffi...
She's the teacher.
594
00:16:46,909 --> 00:16:49,907
Raffi, you can't bring the teacher
from the swim class here.
595
00:16:50,027 --> 00:16:51,375
In fact, I did.
596
00:16:51,481 --> 00:16:54,682
You can't! My wife is here, and she can't
know that you're pretending to be me!
597
00:16:54,750 --> 00:16:56,518
You need to get her out of here now.
598
00:16:56,585 --> 00:16:58,020
Fine. Cheers.
599
00:16:58,087 --> 00:16:58,686
Hey, babe.
600
00:16:58,754 --> 00:16:59,454
Hey, babe.
601
00:16:59,522 --> 00:17:00,555
Get me a drink.
602
00:17:00,623 --> 00:17:02,391
Yeah, just finished topping
it off right there.
603
00:17:02,458 --> 00:17:03,558
Thank you.
604
00:17:03,626 --> 00:17:08,096
There you go. Drink up... Mmm...
...'cause you got to go.
605
00:17:08,164 --> 00:17:08,897
What?
606
00:17:08,964 --> 00:17:09,597
You're dumped.
607
00:17:09,665 --> 00:17:12,200
Do you notice that Baby Geoffrey's
calling my brother "Daddy"?
608
00:17:12,268 --> 00:17:15,570
Yeah, you know, I guess a lot
of people confuse Raffi and I.
609
00:17:15,638 --> 00:17:17,406
I don't respect you, okay!
610
00:17:17,473 --> 00:17:19,238
Perfect.
I don't respect myself!
611
00:17:19,358 --> 00:17:20,475
What?! Okay, fine.
612
00:17:20,543 --> 00:17:22,944
Truth be told, there's another girl here.
613
00:17:23,012 --> 00:17:23,445
Awesome.
614
00:17:23,513 --> 00:17:24,546
You're into that?!
615
00:17:24,613 --> 00:17:26,548
How do you think I got
through nursing school?
616
00:17:26,615 --> 00:17:28,383
Ugh! You know what?
617
00:17:28,955 --> 00:17:30,055
You got to go.
618
00:17:30,122 --> 00:17:31,089
I'm not going.
619
00:17:31,157 --> 00:17:32,057
Just pack it up!
620
00:17:32,124 --> 00:17:33,959
I am here for...
I don't find you attractive!
621
00:17:34,027 --> 00:17:34,927
I don't care!
622
00:17:34,994 --> 00:17:37,128
I think your face is gross, I
think your boobs are different
623
00:17:37,196 --> 00:17:39,230
sizes, and I think this is way too big!
624
00:17:39,298 --> 00:17:41,101
All right, you are getting
me so hot right now.
625
00:17:41,221 --> 00:17:44,069
- What?!
- Yes! Treat me like shit.
626
00:17:44,136 --> 00:17:45,275
Oh, God. You know what?
627
00:17:45,395 --> 00:17:47,588
No, let's go. Come over here with me.
628
00:17:49,341 --> 00:17:49,741
Hi.
629
00:17:49,809 --> 00:17:50,108
Hi.
630
00:17:50,176 --> 00:17:51,142
This is Gail.
631
00:17:51,210 --> 00:17:52,243
Gail.
632
00:17:52,311 --> 00:17:53,612
This is Sofia.
633
00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:53,979
Hi.
634
00:17:54,047 --> 00:17:55,246
The light of my life.
635
00:17:55,314 --> 00:17:55,948
Yeah, right.
636
00:17:56,015 --> 00:17:58,016
She's the most beautiful
woman in the world.
637
00:17:58,084 --> 00:17:59,918
Aw... I love you so much.
638
00:17:59,986 --> 00:18:01,319
I love you so much.
639
00:18:01,387 --> 00:18:02,153
Bullshit.
640
00:18:02,221 --> 00:18:06,625
Bullshit? Fine.
641
00:18:06,693 --> 00:18:08,093
Mmm!
642
00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:09,795
Oh!
643
00:18:09,862 --> 00:18:14,466
Wow. Oh, okay. Mmm-mmm!
644
00:18:14,533 --> 00:18:17,435
Sofia Ruxin forever unclean!
645
00:18:17,503 --> 00:18:18,336
I love you.
646
00:18:18,404 --> 00:18:19,170
I love you.
647
00:18:19,238 --> 00:18:20,472
All right, you know what?
648
00:18:20,539 --> 00:18:22,273
I don't have to take this.
649
00:18:22,341 --> 00:18:24,676
You really messed this up, okay?
650
00:18:24,744 --> 00:18:25,143
What?
651
00:18:25,211 --> 00:18:28,146
You could have had sex with
the most pathetic, insecure,
652
00:18:28,214 --> 00:18:29,547
desperate woman you've ever met.
653
00:18:29,616 --> 00:18:32,117
I would have let you put me in a cage!
654
00:18:32,184 --> 00:18:33,018
I have a cage!
655
00:18:33,086 --> 00:18:34,786
Have fun in your cage alone!
656
00:18:34,854 --> 00:18:36,354
Later, Gail.
657
00:18:36,422 --> 00:18:38,156
Hey, what was that all about?
658
00:18:38,224 --> 00:18:39,357
I was just messing around.
659
00:18:39,425 --> 00:18:40,525
But by the way, great kiss.
660
00:18:40,593 --> 00:18:41,126
Ugh!
661
00:18:41,193 --> 00:18:41,827
Really?
662
00:18:41,894 --> 00:18:44,062
I hope you're getting a lot
of this, man, because this is
663
00:18:44,130 --> 00:18:45,897
some terrific kissing right
here my sister does.
664
00:18:45,965 --> 00:18:46,698
I'm a good kisser.
665
00:18:46,766 --> 00:18:47,132
Yeah!
666
00:18:47,199 --> 00:18:47,733
Ugh! No!
667
00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:49,901
I mean, you're such a good
kisser, you got my dick hard,
668
00:18:49,969 --> 00:18:50,836
and I'm your brother.
669
00:18:50,903 --> 00:18:51,469
Oh, come on.
670
00:18:51,537 --> 00:18:52,504
I didn't make you hard!
671
00:18:52,571 --> 00:18:53,538
You can check. You can check.
672
00:18:53,606 --> 00:18:54,472
Ah! Enough! We're going!
673
00:18:54,540 --> 00:18:55,540
Bye, honey. I love you.
674
00:18:55,608 --> 00:18:56,574
Bye. I'll see you.
675
00:18:56,643 --> 00:18:57,408
I love you.
676
00:18:57,476 --> 00:18:58,744
Ugh!
677
00:19:05,628 --> 00:19:07,930
Bathroom? Bathroom? Whoo!
678
00:19:07,998 --> 00:19:11,367
Well, well, well, what do we have here?
679
00:19:11,434 --> 00:19:13,635
Some kind of crazy, awesome
jerk-off machine, I assume?
680
00:19:13,703 --> 00:19:15,926
Hello, beautiful.
681
00:19:16,212 --> 00:19:19,111
This is gonna get gross.
682
00:19:19,231 --> 00:19:20,823
Can we please go home now?
683
00:19:20,943 --> 00:19:21,843
Everyone else is gone.
684
00:19:21,911 --> 00:19:23,111
It's dark out.
685
00:19:23,179 --> 00:19:25,061
Nope. We have the
babysitter until 10:00.
686
00:19:25,181 --> 00:19:27,483
We are going to stay
out until about 10:15.
687
00:19:27,550 --> 00:19:29,318
Can you ease it down a little bit?
688
00:19:29,385 --> 00:19:30,313
You're drinking like Mickey Mantle.
689
00:19:30,433 --> 00:19:32,078
Are you having another drink?
690
00:19:32,198 --> 00:19:36,024
No! Martha, this is the same glass of
wine I have been nursing all night long.
691
00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:37,933
Do you not believe me?
692
00:19:38,053 --> 00:19:39,120
I'll go pump right now.
693
00:19:39,188 --> 00:19:40,088
You can test it.
694
00:19:40,155 --> 00:19:41,990
I think that would be a good idea.
695
00:19:42,057 --> 00:19:42,957
And you know what?
696
00:19:43,025 --> 00:19:45,823
I'll go do it in private 'cause I would
hate to whip these ladies out in public.
697
00:19:45,943 --> 00:19:49,898
(chuckles) I don't think
the public would notice.
698
00:19:49,965 --> 00:19:51,432
Great.
699
00:19:51,500 --> 00:19:53,858
Honey, why are you mad at me?
I didn't even do anything.
700
00:19:53,978 --> 00:19:56,593
Okay, no one ate my chicken
tartare, your friends are lame,
701
00:19:56,713 --> 00:19:59,407
and your mom smoked all of my pot.
702
00:19:59,474 --> 00:20:00,833
- You breaking up with me?
- Yeah. You know what?
703
00:20:00,953 --> 00:20:03,524
If you're ever drunk late-night,
just text me and we can screw.
704
00:20:03,644 --> 00:20:07,768
George, don't stop walking.
Please leave. Whoo!
705
00:20:07,888 --> 00:20:10,019
Since when did you start smoking pot?
706
00:20:10,139 --> 00:20:11,493
I sell Mom weed all the time.
707
00:20:11,613 --> 00:20:14,564
You try knitting all those baby
clothes without some weed.
708
00:20:14,684 --> 00:20:15,939
Yeah. We get baked together.
709
00:20:16,059 --> 00:20:17,861
- What?
- It's never hurt Taco.
710
00:20:17,981 --> 00:20:19,154
It's not gonna hurt me.
711
00:20:19,403 --> 00:20:20,298
(chuckles)
712
00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:23,097
I'm not pumping shit.
713
00:20:23,165 --> 00:20:24,686
Thank you, Kristin.
714
00:20:24,806 --> 00:20:25,879
Sorry, Cutler baby.
715
00:20:25,999 --> 00:20:28,636
But suck it, Martha.
716
00:20:28,703 --> 00:20:31,801
Hey, did you guys use that jerk-off
machine in the guest room?
717
00:20:31,921 --> 00:20:34,699
What? Are you talking about
my wife's breast pump?
718
00:20:34,819 --> 00:20:37,214
Nope. I'm talking about
the jerk-off machine.
719
00:20:37,334 --> 00:20:40,996
Okay, does this jerk-off machine, Raffi,
have a circle and some tubes coming
720
00:20:41,116 --> 00:20:41,685
out of it...
Yeah.
721
00:20:41,805 --> 00:20:43,400
- ...and a pump that sucks it out?
- Yeah. Sure.
722
00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:44,593
Oh, my God!
723
00:20:44,713 --> 00:20:45,700
I didn't make a mess or anything.
724
00:20:45,820 --> 00:20:48,802
I put the stuff in the bottle, the
bottle in the bag, and I'm done!
725
00:20:48,922 --> 00:20:50,729
Wait, wait. What bottle?
726
00:20:50,849 --> 00:20:52,101
The bottle that it came with.
727
00:20:52,221 --> 00:20:53,962
Oh, my God.
728
00:20:54,029 --> 00:20:55,243
That's not breast milk.
729
00:20:55,363 --> 00:20:58,799
No, no, no. Mom, Mom, Mom,
Mom, Mom, Mom, no, no, no, no!
730
00:20:58,867 --> 00:20:59,491
I can't place it.
731
00:20:59,611 --> 00:21:02,649
I can. You guys can call me
"Dad" from now on if you want.
732
00:21:02,769 --> 00:21:05,577
Oh... Hey, Martha, test it and weep.
733
00:21:05,697 --> 00:21:06,373
We're weeping.
734
00:21:06,493 --> 00:21:08,657
And by the way, there's plenty
more where that came from.
735
00:21:08,777 --> 00:21:09,441
Oh!
736
00:21:09,561 --> 00:21:11,926
We should get out of here?
737
00:21:12,145 --> 00:21:22,378
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
738
00:21:22,428 --> 00:21:26,978
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
52545
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