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TACO (sighs): You ever have one
of those weekends where all
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00:00:05,686 --> 00:00:06,285
you do is have sex?
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00:00:06,287 --> 00:00:07,987
OTHERS: Oh, yeah, yeah.
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Well, last night I was so
sick of it that I had to
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fantasize about not having
sex just to get an erection.
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You guys know what I'm
talking about, right?
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KEVIN: Yeah, of course.
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RUXIN: Of course.
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JENNY: Guys, you have no idea
what he's talking about.
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I guarantee none of you ever
had a weekend like that.
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What's the most you've
had sex in one day?
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PETE: I... I... Th-Three?
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Yeah, I-I max out at three, too.
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ANDRE: Does, uh,
masturbation count?
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OTHERS: No.
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It's a sexual act.
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Just out of curiosity, Andre,
how many times have you
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masturbated in one day?
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Twelve.
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What?!
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What?!
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00:00:36,550 --> 00:00:39,819
Well, okay, look, I took Cialis,
and I was supposed to meet a date.
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She never showed up, so I just
had to, you know, ride it out.
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It was the craziest
brunch ever.
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Jenny.
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What?
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00:00:46,028 --> 00:00:48,028
How many times have
you had sex in a day?
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I'm not gonna tell you that.
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'Scuse you, sir.
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Come on, Jenny!
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Tell us.
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(all speaking at once)
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Tell us, Jenny.
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Ugh! Fine. Five.
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Really?
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00:00:58,574 --> 00:01:01,508
Five. Kev! Holding out on us.
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00:01:01,510 --> 00:01:02,576
Nice, buddy! Nice work.
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It wasn't with Kevin.
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OTHERS: Oh!
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(cheering, laughing)
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Kev-bo, don't worry about it.
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You can top that.
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Just slap some Drakkar on, get
yourself a box of wine, and then
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pound away on little Petey
until he calls uncle.
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Uncle!
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Too late.
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Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
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This place is nice.
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Yeah, I take all
my clients here.
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It's, like, authentic sushi.
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It's got a terrible
name, though.
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Spooky Sushi?
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I don't know what's so appetizing
about the thought of haunted fish.
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Yeah, there are a few Japanese
restaurants that I've been haunted by.
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Bad sashimi?
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No, miso soup.
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It just makes me spray
sour water-- ugh.
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I will seat you at sushi bar.
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Okay, great.
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00:01:40,982 --> 00:01:41,981
(speaks Japanese)
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Okay.
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Thank you.
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Oh, I'm starving.
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Yeah.
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I'm sick.
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This place is delish.
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(speaks Japanese)
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Hey, how are you?
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I could eat here, like,
five times a day.
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You're such a dick, Ruxin.
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(speaks Japanese)
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What's up, dudes?
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00:01:58,834 --> 00:02:01,001
So, what can I do for you guys?
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Omakase?
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That's the chef's choice.
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This chef?
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You will not be disappointed,
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I'll tell you that right now.
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I selected the fish myself.
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Really?
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00:02:11,915 --> 00:02:13,115
I'll tell you guys something.
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00:02:13,117 --> 00:02:15,417
Japanese chefs,
we don't like to
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brag, but I got a knack for
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selecting the right fish
for the right people.
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You know how I do it?
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I pick up on your vibe.
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00:02:21,459 --> 00:02:23,326
I just get your energy.
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(speaking Japanese)
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(speaking Japanese)
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I paint a portrait of you two
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dudes with, like... fish.
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Huh. Cool.
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00:02:33,637 --> 00:02:34,703
Excuse me.
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Yes?
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00:02:35,373 --> 00:02:36,472
Is there another table?
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'Cause we're very cold.
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Cold?
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Brr!
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It's not cold.
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00:02:41,178 --> 00:02:43,545
No, there's no other table.
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Thank you.
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(speaks Japanese)
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00:02:47,117 --> 00:02:49,385
So, uh, you've been a
sushi chef for a while?
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00:02:49,387 --> 00:02:50,653
14 years.
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00:02:50,655 --> 00:02:52,054
Studied a year and a half in
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Japan, where my master, Kenji
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Nakamaro, says, "Wesley-san,
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your hands make poetry of fish."
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And then I moved out here.
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Wesley-san?
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Mmm, hai.
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Where are you from?
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Uh, I grew up in O-ma-ha.
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Where's that?
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It's in, like, Nebraska.
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Oh, Omaha.
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00:03:09,172 --> 00:03:11,172
Yeah. Pretty sure
that's what I said.
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So you're a Cornhusker, huh?
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Hai.
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BOTH: Yeah... Um, we...
I got to go.
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Yeah. Master of sushi chefs.
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So, I got to... get back.
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Right. You got to go.
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Because I'm white.
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BOTH: What?
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You heard me.
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You're wh... Wait a minute.
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It's okay, brothers.
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I'm used to it.
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You're white?
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Arigato, racists.
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Okay.
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Racist? No, no.
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Get out. Huh?
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00:03:38,536 --> 00:03:39,702
This is classic.
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00:03:39,704 --> 00:03:42,338
Only you two idiots could be
called racist by a white guy.
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We're not racists, okay?
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I worked at the
ACLU after college.
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Wait, but didn't you quit that
job because of the "stinky
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Greek person"?
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00:03:49,046 --> 00:03:51,079
Look, Stavros didn't
wear deodorant.
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I found it to be a hostile
work environment.
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00:03:53,083 --> 00:03:54,749
Well, this is an interesting
conundrum, though.
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Can you be racist
against your own race?
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Like white on white--
is that racist?
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00:03:58,521 --> 00:04:01,189
You know what, as a foodie, I see
where you guys are coming from.
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00:04:01,191 --> 00:04:03,257
It's not being racist-- it's...
discriminating.
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00:04:03,259 --> 00:04:05,426
No, it's called
discrimina-tion, okay?
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00:04:05,428 --> 00:04:07,495
I don't care what it's called--
if I walk into a Thai
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massage parlor and I see myself,
there's, like, a 60% chance I'm
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turning around.
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00:04:11,268 --> 00:04:13,335
Exactly. It's the Peyton Hillis
conundrum; it's why white
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guys didn't want to draft him.
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Oh, so Wesley-san is the scrappy
gym rat of sushi chefs.
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Exactly.
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00:04:18,576 --> 00:04:20,709
Sorry, just to backtrack, there
is a 40% chance that you
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would stay and get a
handjob from yourself.
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I know what I'm
doing down there.
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Hey, hey. You got bigger problems
to worry about... racist.
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00:04:26,917 --> 00:04:28,917
I think I have to go
back and apologize.
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This sushi restaurant is across
the street from me, the food is
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terrific-- I cannot get
banned from Spooky Sushi.
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All right, guys, look, we got
to talk about this weekend.
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Paintball-- we've been talking
about it forever, okay?
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So I finally went ahead and
just booked it for this Sunday.
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Who's in?
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Can't do it.
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I can't do it.
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00:04:42,265 --> 00:04:42,997
What, you got a Klan rally?
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No, we got kids'
birthday parties.
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All day.
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All day.
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You know, these birthday
parties are the worst.
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You are stuck there talking to
people you have nothing in
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common with, except you had
unprotected sex at the same time.
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I love paintball.
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00:04:54,344 --> 00:04:55,343
I'm definitely in.
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I've been on vacation since
I sold dallascowboys.com.
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Unlike these stiffs, I've
already made my nuts.
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00:04:59,817 --> 00:05:01,450
All right, Andre,
what's going on?
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00:05:01,452 --> 00:05:03,653
You know what, I'd love to go
with you guys to Ben's party.
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00:05:03,655 --> 00:05:05,288
Wait, why would you
go to a kid's party?
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00:05:05,290 --> 00:05:06,289
You don't have a kid.
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00:05:06,291 --> 00:05:07,490
It'll be fun.
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00:05:07,492 --> 00:05:08,491
No, it will not be fun.
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It would be creepy.
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Why would that be creepy?
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I like going, I like children,
I like going to parties.
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00:05:12,497 --> 00:05:14,698
Andre, you're even
creepy eating corn.
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00:05:14,700 --> 00:05:16,934
Have you ever watched
yourself eat a piece of corn?
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00:05:16,936 --> 00:05:20,370
It's like this...
(imitates loud slobbering)
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Yeah, you look like a rat
trying to gnaw off its own leg
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to avoid a trap.
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00:05:23,942 --> 00:05:26,009
Hey, you know what, that's
because I'm trying to get all
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00:05:26,011 --> 00:05:26,943
the corn off the cob.
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00:05:26,945 --> 00:05:28,545
I mean, you guys...
you have sloppy cobs.
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I mean, I've checked 'em out at
picnics, checked 'em out at
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00:05:30,782 --> 00:05:32,349
parties, checked 'em
out at your house.
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00:05:32,351 --> 00:05:35,351
I didn't realize you spent this
much time looking at their cobs.
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00:05:35,353 --> 00:05:37,520
Of course, I check out your
cobs-- 'cause I'm spending all
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00:05:37,522 --> 00:05:38,154
that money on corn.
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00:05:38,156 --> 00:05:39,022
Your cobs better be clean!
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00:05:39,024 --> 00:05:41,090
And I'm not ashamed to admit
it-- when you guys aren't
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00:05:41,092 --> 00:05:43,026
looking, I'll lick
your cobs bone-dry.
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00:05:43,028 --> 00:05:45,628
You ever eat two cobs at once?
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00:05:45,630 --> 00:05:47,630
(chuckles) Sometimes I'll just
have a whole meal of cobs.
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00:05:47,632 --> 00:05:48,731
Just, like, two fistfuls?
208
00:05:48,733 --> 00:05:50,232
Just double-fisting?
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00:05:50,234 --> 00:05:51,234
(grunting sounds)
210
00:05:51,236 --> 00:05:53,469
No, see, I would never
grab it by the base.
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00:05:53,471 --> 00:05:54,470
I would start at the tip.
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00:05:54,472 --> 00:05:55,570
So, come on, guys, really?
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00:05:55,572 --> 00:05:56,838
You really can't come?
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00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:57,839
Can't do it.
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00:05:57,841 --> 00:06:01,476
Wow. So this is the weekend of
the haves and the have-nots.
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00:06:01,478 --> 00:06:03,878
I got to say...
I'm glad to be a have-not.
217
00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:04,879
Amen, brother.
218
00:06:04,881 --> 00:06:06,313
Have fun, boys.
219
00:06:06,315 --> 00:06:06,914
What?
220
00:06:06,916 --> 00:06:07,915
Screw him.
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00:06:07,917 --> 00:06:08,916
Why would he do that?
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00:06:08,918 --> 00:06:10,917
It's just bullshit that he
rubs it in our face like that.
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00:06:10,919 --> 00:06:13,053
Like, "Oh, I don't have kids, so
now I have time to deal with
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00:06:13,055 --> 00:06:14,721
fantasy football and go You know
what, here's what paintballing."
225
00:06:14,723 --> 00:06:15,655
we'll do-- we'll
freeze him out.
226
00:06:15,657 --> 00:06:16,990
How are you gonna do that?
227
00:06:16,992 --> 00:06:18,191
Informational freeze-out.
228
00:06:18,193 --> 00:06:20,560
He's not gonna be around a
computer, he's not gonna be
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00:06:20,562 --> 00:06:23,196
around a television-- he's gonna
want fantasy football information.
230
00:06:23,198 --> 00:06:25,198
But he's gonna have
his phone on him.
231
00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:26,199
Oh, you mean this phone?
232
00:06:26,201 --> 00:06:27,200
You stole his phone?
233
00:06:27,202 --> 00:06:30,270
Whoa. What a diabolical plan, like
Schwarzenegger in Batman
234
00:06:30,272 --> 00:06:31,404
and Robin.
235
00:06:31,406 --> 00:06:33,039
(like Schwarzenegger):
Hello, Pete.
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00:06:33,041 --> 00:06:35,909
I hope you have a
nice freeze-out.
237
00:06:35,911 --> 00:06:38,946
Yeah, you're not
coming to this party.
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00:06:47,001 --> 00:06:49,002
Anyway, Wesley-san, so, I
just wanted to apologize for
239
00:06:49,004 --> 00:06:50,604
Kevin, 'cause... No, no, no.
(speaks Japanese)
240
00:06:50,606 --> 00:06:51,605
...my buddy's racist.
241
00:06:51,607 --> 00:06:52,273
I felt it.
242
00:06:52,275 --> 00:06:53,274
He's a self-hating white guy.
243
00:06:53,276 --> 00:06:54,275
I get it, but that's not you.
244
00:06:54,277 --> 00:06:55,909
You like your rice white--
why not your chef?
245
00:06:55,911 --> 00:06:56,910
Am I right?
246
00:06:56,912 --> 00:06:57,912
See, I love white guys.
247
00:06:57,914 --> 00:06:58,913
Hai.
248
00:06:58,915 --> 00:06:59,981
I mean, I've been drafting
249
00:06:59,983 --> 00:07:01,549
Peyton Hillis since
he was on Denver.
250
00:07:01,551 --> 00:07:04,452
Ah, before he started kicking
ass in Kan-sa City!
251
00:07:04,454 --> 00:07:06,822
Yeah, Kan-sa City.
252
00:07:06,824 --> 00:07:08,824
So, Ruxin-san, omakase?
253
00:07:08,826 --> 00:07:09,825
Yeah, chef's choice.
254
00:07:09,827 --> 00:07:11,827
I'm picking up on
your vibe right now.
255
00:07:11,829 --> 00:07:14,262
What are you thinking, like
a spicy tuna hand roll?
256
00:07:14,264 --> 00:07:15,264
That's not you, man.
257
00:07:15,266 --> 00:07:17,065
I see the dark,
the complicated.
258
00:07:17,067 --> 00:07:19,568
Ruxin-san, a lot of shit
going on in there, man.
259
00:07:19,570 --> 00:07:21,002
That's why you're like uni.
260
00:07:21,004 --> 00:07:22,003
And what's uni?
261
00:07:22,005 --> 00:07:23,238
Sea urchin, bro.
262
00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:24,472
Sea urchin?
263
00:07:24,474 --> 00:07:25,907
Mmm, yummy-umah.
264
00:07:25,909 --> 00:07:28,743
'Cause it looks like the
aftermath of a lipo surgery.
265
00:07:28,745 --> 00:07:30,845
So we don't like, fry this up?
266
00:07:30,847 --> 00:07:32,747
Oh, no, dame, no.
267
00:07:32,749 --> 00:07:33,748
It's killer sush, dude.
268
00:07:33,750 --> 00:07:34,749
Okay.
269
00:07:34,751 --> 00:07:37,419
(whispers): Am I supposed
to eat this just like this?
270
00:07:37,421 --> 00:07:39,121
Mmm.
271
00:07:39,123 --> 00:07:41,124
Ah, you love it?
272
00:07:41,126 --> 00:07:43,126
You can really taste the urchin.
273
00:07:43,128 --> 00:07:46,663
Okay now, Ruxin-san,
ready for amaebi?
274
00:07:46,665 --> 00:07:47,831
And what is that?
275
00:07:47,833 --> 00:07:49,266
Live shrimp, dude.
276
00:07:49,268 --> 00:07:53,837
And I just... I...
You don't even feign preparation
277
00:07:53,839 --> 00:07:54,939
for this.
278
00:07:54,941 --> 00:07:56,173
Trust me, you'll love it.
279
00:07:56,175 --> 00:07:57,708
Dude, I love white dudes.
280
00:07:57,710 --> 00:07:59,277
So why would I love eating a
281
00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:00,978
live shrimp marginally
prepared by one?
282
00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:01,812
Hai!
283
00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:02,647
Hai!
284
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:03,481
Hai!
285
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:04,315
Hi.
286
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:05,149
Hai!
287
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:06,717
(groans)
288
00:08:06,719 --> 00:08:08,252
No, I have no idea where your
289
00:08:08,254 --> 00:08:11,389
cell phone is, Pete, but I
will keep an eye out for it.
290
00:08:11,391 --> 00:08:12,857
Okay.
291
00:08:12,859 --> 00:08:15,526
(groans) Two birthday
parties tomorrow.
292
00:08:15,528 --> 00:08:18,028
Patricia's kid and Ben's kid.
293
00:08:18,030 --> 00:08:19,196
What?
294
00:08:19,198 --> 00:08:20,530
Five, huh?
295
00:08:20,532 --> 00:08:21,665
Oh, Kevin, come on.
296
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:23,200
I just blurted out a number.
297
00:08:23,202 --> 00:08:25,803
Oh, okay, so what's the
real number then?
298
00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:26,637
Five.
299
00:08:26,639 --> 00:08:28,806
Oh, my God, woman!
300
00:08:28,808 --> 00:08:31,109
Did you even have
time to eat or
301
00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:32,310
bathe yourself in between?
302
00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:34,345
Well, one was in the shower.
303
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:35,346
Fine, who was it?
304
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:36,547
I want to know who it was.
305
00:08:36,549 --> 00:08:38,182
It was ages ago, Kevin.
306
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:40,217
I tell you about my
sexual history.
307
00:08:40,219 --> 00:08:41,251
I don't want to know.
308
00:08:41,253 --> 00:08:43,187
I have to tell you,
otherwise I might forget.
309
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:44,021
(groans)
310
00:08:44,023 --> 00:08:45,255
Just tell me who it was.
311
00:08:45,257 --> 00:08:46,390
It was in college.
312
00:08:46,392 --> 00:08:47,591
And who was it?
313
00:08:47,593 --> 00:08:48,592
It was Ben.
314
00:08:48,594 --> 00:08:49,660
Ben?
315
00:08:49,662 --> 00:08:51,996
Ben, like we're going to that
316
00:08:51,998 --> 00:08:53,063
kid's birthday party, Ben?
317
00:08:53,065 --> 00:08:54,098
That guy?
318
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:55,566
God! I mean, what is he?
319
00:08:55,568 --> 00:08:56,566
He's got four kids.
320
00:08:56,568 --> 00:08:58,401
He's like a jackhammer,
just ba-ba-boom.
321
00:08:58,403 --> 00:08:59,503
It doesn't matter.
322
00:08:59,505 --> 00:09:00,503
It's not a competition.
323
00:09:00,505 --> 00:09:01,738
It wasn't, but now it is.
324
00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:02,672
Really?
325
00:09:02,674 --> 00:09:04,341
Yeah, we're gonna
break that record.
326
00:09:04,343 --> 00:09:05,175
Really?
327
00:09:05,177 --> 00:09:06,176
You and I, let's do it.
328
00:09:06,178 --> 00:09:07,010
Okay.
329
00:09:07,012 --> 00:09:08,045
Yeah, let's go, come on.
330
00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:09,279
Okay.
331
00:09:09,281 --> 00:09:10,414
We can do this. Okay.
332
00:09:10,416 --> 00:09:11,448
What are you doing?
333
00:09:11,450 --> 00:09:12,850
Need to get my strength up.
334
00:09:12,852 --> 00:09:14,284
(groaning): One!
335
00:09:14,286 --> 00:09:16,453
Oh, I see stars.
336
00:09:16,455 --> 00:09:17,421
All right, listen up.
337
00:09:17,423 --> 00:09:19,857
The name of the game is
"Capture the Flag."
338
00:09:19,859 --> 00:09:22,459
If you are shot, you
are eliminated.
339
00:09:22,461 --> 00:09:23,659
Put your barrel plugs in your
340
00:09:23,661 --> 00:09:26,395
weapons, raise your hand,
walk off the field.
341
00:09:26,397 --> 00:09:27,396
Guess what I have?
342
00:09:27,398 --> 00:09:28,530
Holy shit, that's my phone.
343
00:09:28,532 --> 00:09:29,564
Where'd you find it?
344
00:09:29,566 --> 00:09:30,565
Kevin found it at our house.
345
00:09:30,567 --> 00:09:32,467
Whatever, just give
me the phone.
346
00:09:32,469 --> 00:09:33,635
What language is this?
347
00:09:33,637 --> 00:09:34,936
Is this Portuguese?
348
00:09:34,938 --> 00:09:36,237
Yep.
349
00:09:36,239 --> 00:09:37,204
(phone ringing)
350
00:09:37,206 --> 00:09:38,806
Oh, well.
351
00:09:38,808 --> 00:09:40,140
Hello?
352
00:09:40,142 --> 00:09:41,408
(laughing over phone)
353
00:09:41,410 --> 00:09:42,609
Kevin, change it back.
354
00:09:42,611 --> 00:09:44,711
Well, I would, but I don't
speak Portuguese, so...
355
00:09:44,713 --> 00:09:45,746
Come on, it's Sunday.
356
00:09:45,748 --> 00:09:47,147
I need to check my scores.
357
00:09:47,149 --> 00:09:48,315
With all my terrible, boring
358
00:09:48,317 --> 00:09:49,516
responsibilities today, I don't
359
00:09:49,518 --> 00:09:51,117
know if I'd have time to do
360
00:09:51,119 --> 00:09:52,619
something fun like switch your
361
00:09:52,621 --> 00:09:53,820
phone back from Portuguese.
362
00:09:53,822 --> 00:09:55,455
Ata a vista.
363
00:09:55,457 --> 00:09:57,990
No... Dick.
364
00:09:57,992 --> 00:10:00,425
Masks must be worn at all times.
365
00:10:00,427 --> 00:10:03,661
No head, neck, or groin
shots within ten feet.
366
00:10:03,663 --> 00:10:06,964
Give me some space
here, commando?
367
00:10:06,966 --> 00:10:07,999
What's up?
368
00:10:08,001 --> 00:10:09,000
Oh, shit.
369
00:10:09,002 --> 00:10:10,067
(groans) What?
370
00:10:10,069 --> 00:10:12,303
Raffi, what the hell
are you doing here?
371
00:10:12,305 --> 00:10:13,137
Paintball.
372
00:10:13,139 --> 00:10:14,271
Taco put it on his myface page.
373
00:10:14,273 --> 00:10:15,105
I figured I was invited.
374
00:10:15,107 --> 00:10:17,006
Please don't tell me
he's on our team?
375
00:10:17,008 --> 00:10:18,007
Oh, yeah, I'm on your team.
376
00:10:18,009 --> 00:10:19,008
I don't like it either, guys.
377
00:10:19,010 --> 00:10:20,977
I'm more of an army of
one kind of a guy.
378
00:10:20,979 --> 00:10:22,178
What smells like feces?
379
00:10:22,180 --> 00:10:23,179
Huh? Oh, yeah, that's me.
380
00:10:23,181 --> 00:10:24,246
Yeah, no, I've been living out
381
00:10:24,248 --> 00:10:25,247
here for like, three or four
382
00:10:25,249 --> 00:10:26,982
days, you know, getting
the lay of the land.
383
00:10:26,984 --> 00:10:28,150
Most of my meals
are coming from
384
00:10:28,152 --> 00:10:28,851
second harvest, though.
385
00:10:28,853 --> 00:10:29,751
What's second harvest?
386
00:10:29,753 --> 00:10:31,653
You know, animals don't
digest everything they eat.
387
00:10:31,655 --> 00:10:32,821
You can find a lot perfectly
388
00:10:32,823 --> 00:10:33,788
edible food in their droppings.
389
00:10:33,790 --> 00:10:34,756
Holy s... is that a real gun?
390
00:10:34,758 --> 00:10:36,691
What?
No, this is a paintball gun.
391
00:10:36,693 --> 00:10:37,425
What are you, crazy?
392
00:10:37,427 --> 00:10:39,461
The other two are real, though.
393
00:10:39,463 --> 00:10:42,164
Only when you hear me blow
this whistle will the game
394
00:10:42,166 --> 00:10:43,098
begin.
395
00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:44,099
Guess what?
396
00:10:44,101 --> 00:10:45,467
Game just began.
397
00:10:45,469 --> 00:10:46,968
Murder!
398
00:10:46,970 --> 00:10:49,370
(gunshots)
399
00:10:49,372 --> 00:10:50,471
We're gonna win.
400
00:10:50,473 --> 00:10:52,540
My business is killing me, man.
401
00:10:52,542 --> 00:10:54,809
I'm in the middle of trying
to break this sex record.
402
00:10:54,811 --> 00:10:56,644
How many times have you had sex?
403
00:10:56,646 --> 00:10:58,646
Four times in the last 18 hours.
404
00:10:58,648 --> 00:10:59,947
That doesn't sound fun to me.
405
00:10:59,949 --> 00:11:00,948
It's grueling.
406
00:11:00,950 --> 00:11:03,351
I think the third time, between
us, nothing came out.
407
00:11:03,353 --> 00:11:04,686
Like my dick just dry heaved.
408
00:11:04,688 --> 00:11:07,188
I feel like I'm running some
sort of sexual marathon.
409
00:11:07,190 --> 00:11:09,190
Buddy, you're up cock-break
hill right now.
410
00:11:09,192 --> 00:11:11,292
Whoa, did someone say a marathon?
A what?
411
00:11:11,294 --> 00:11:12,359
A marathon? A what?
412
00:11:12,361 --> 00:11:13,494
A marathon? A what?
413
00:11:13,496 --> 00:11:14,328
Guys, come on.
414
00:11:14,330 --> 00:11:15,329
You can't do it to yourself.
415
00:11:15,331 --> 00:11:16,230
I could do it to myself.
416
00:11:16,232 --> 00:11:17,064
I just did it.
417
00:11:17,066 --> 00:11:18,799
What are you doing here, Andre?
418
00:11:18,801 --> 00:11:19,667
You don't even have a kid.
419
00:11:19,669 --> 00:11:21,368
You guys have been
holding out on me.
420
00:11:21,370 --> 00:11:23,304
I'm meeting people I haven't
seen in a long time.
421
00:11:23,306 --> 00:11:24,738
I'm having some delicious food,
422
00:11:24,740 --> 00:11:25,873
and I'm getting to entertain
423
00:11:25,875 --> 00:11:27,141
these kids because guess what?
424
00:11:27,143 --> 00:11:28,809
The magic man is on the loose.
425
00:11:28,811 --> 00:11:30,911
No, magic is creepy for adults.
426
00:11:30,913 --> 00:11:32,846
You will give these
children nightmares.
427
00:11:32,848 --> 00:11:33,681
Is Lance Burton creepy?
428
00:11:33,683 --> 00:11:34,515
Yep.
429
00:11:34,517 --> 00:11:35,349
Oh, Kevin.
430
00:11:35,351 --> 00:11:36,250
What?
431
00:11:36,252 --> 00:11:38,085
The Amazing Andre is
experiencing something...
432
00:11:38,087 --> 00:11:38,919
Don't touch me.
433
00:11:38,921 --> 00:11:39,920
...within you.
434
00:11:39,922 --> 00:11:41,155
You may not know this about me,
435
00:11:41,157 --> 00:11:43,858
but I have the power... Oh, God.
436
00:11:43,860 --> 00:11:45,359
...of the dark arts.
437
00:11:45,361 --> 00:11:47,161
If you... Oh, God.
438
00:11:47,163 --> 00:11:50,130
They say that you can manifest
anything that you think
439
00:11:50,132 --> 00:11:51,832
of, and it's all right there.
440
00:11:51,834 --> 00:11:53,333
Oh, my sweet God.
441
00:11:53,335 --> 00:11:57,704
So now, my question to you
is what do you believe in?
442
00:11:57,706 --> 00:12:00,741
What do you want to... ta-da!
443
00:12:00,743 --> 00:12:02,109
Jesus, Andre, if you do that
444
00:12:02,111 --> 00:12:04,645
to a child, they're gonna
shut this place down faster
445
00:12:04,647 --> 00:12:05,746
than Penn State.
446
00:12:05,748 --> 00:12:06,780
Oh, come on, it's fun.
447
00:12:06,782 --> 00:12:08,048
No, it's not fun, it's weird.
448
00:12:08,050 --> 00:12:09,049
Yes.
449
00:12:09,051 --> 00:12:10,350
Party people.
450
00:12:10,352 --> 00:12:11,618
What, what?
451
00:12:11,620 --> 00:12:13,520
Thank you guys so
much for coming.
452
00:12:13,522 --> 00:12:14,354
Thanks for having us.
453
00:12:14,356 --> 00:12:15,756
You got a bathroom I could use?
454
00:12:15,758 --> 00:12:17,758
Yeah, the guest room is
right down the hall.
455
00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:18,592
What about the master?
456
00:12:18,594 --> 00:12:19,460
No chance.
457
00:12:19,462 --> 00:12:20,294
Worth a shot.
458
00:12:20,296 --> 00:12:21,528
I'm gonna go blow
that thing up.
459
00:12:21,530 --> 00:12:24,497
All right, well, uh, the
magician must prepare, so...
460
00:12:24,499 --> 00:12:27,734
Oh, what's that?
461
00:12:27,736 --> 00:12:28,768
(laughs)
462
00:12:28,770 --> 00:12:29,635
He get you?
463
00:12:29,637 --> 00:12:31,403
Well, not really, but
I went with it.
464
00:12:31,405 --> 00:12:33,072
It's so great to see you again.
465
00:12:33,074 --> 00:12:34,807
You, too.
You really just had a kid?
466
00:12:34,809 --> 00:12:35,641
Yeah.
467
00:12:35,643 --> 00:12:36,575
You look fantastic.
468
00:12:36,577 --> 00:12:37,576
Oh, stop it.
469
00:12:37,578 --> 00:12:38,610
And you have four, right?
470
00:12:38,612 --> 00:12:39,611
Well, we want six.
471
00:12:39,613 --> 00:12:40,612
Really?
472
00:12:40,614 --> 00:12:41,914
Yeah. We'd like to, you know?
473
00:12:41,916 --> 00:12:43,048
Get a hobby.
474
00:12:43,050 --> 00:12:44,082
That is our hobby.
475
00:12:44,084 --> 00:12:46,218
Yeah, he's good at it, so...
Thank you.
476
00:12:46,220 --> 00:12:47,052
Thank you guys so much.
477
00:12:47,054 --> 00:12:47,885
Yeah, this was great.
478
00:12:47,887 --> 00:12:48,786
Thank you.
479
00:12:48,788 --> 00:12:49,621
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
480
00:12:49,623 --> 00:12:50,455
Kevin.
481
00:12:50,457 --> 00:12:51,489
What a D. That's it, babe.
482
00:12:51,491 --> 00:12:52,323
Are you kidding?
483
00:12:52,325 --> 00:12:54,560
We're breaking that record
today, right here.
484
00:12:54,562 --> 00:12:55,594
Right here on the grass?
485
00:12:55,596 --> 00:12:56,929
In that tree.
486
00:12:56,931 --> 00:12:59,332
(gunfire)
487
00:12:59,334 --> 00:13:00,633
Go, go, go.
488
00:13:00,635 --> 00:13:02,002
Go, go.
489
00:13:02,004 --> 00:13:04,004
(panting)
490
00:13:05,906 --> 00:13:08,241
Go, go, go.
491
00:13:13,681 --> 00:13:14,915
Get down, down! Down, down!
492
00:13:14,917 --> 00:13:17,250
(laughs)
493
00:13:17,252 --> 00:13:18,252
This is awesome.
494
00:13:18,254 --> 00:13:19,253
This is amazing.
495
00:13:19,255 --> 00:13:21,255
These guys are totally
missing out.
496
00:13:21,257 --> 00:13:22,423
Check out what I brought.
497
00:13:22,425 --> 00:13:23,925
Paint knife for close quarters.
498
00:13:23,927 --> 00:13:24,926
Where did you get this?
499
00:13:24,928 --> 00:13:25,961
I got a paint knife guy.
500
00:13:25,963 --> 00:13:27,062
You literally brought a paint
501
00:13:27,064 --> 00:13:28,130
knife to a paint gun fight.
502
00:13:28,132 --> 00:13:30,466
All right, I got to get
a fantasy update.
503
00:13:30,468 --> 00:13:31,467
Eat paint, dick hole!
504
00:13:31,469 --> 00:13:33,335
Guys, what's going
on with the games?
505
00:13:33,337 --> 00:13:34,169
I need a score update.
506
00:13:34,171 --> 00:13:35,938
Um, I don't know, your team
507
00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:37,206
could be doing muito ruim.
508
00:13:37,208 --> 00:13:38,207
Or muito bom.
509
00:13:38,209 --> 00:13:40,209
Enough. Just tell me,
am I winning or not?
510
00:13:40,211 --> 00:13:42,445
(laughs) Eat it, dick.
511
00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:44,981
Assholes! They're freezing
me out, aren't they?
512
00:13:44,983 --> 00:13:45,815
It's a freeze-out.
513
00:13:45,817 --> 00:13:46,816
Looks like it.
514
00:13:46,818 --> 00:13:47,651
Shit. Here.
515
00:13:47,653 --> 00:13:48,651
Do something with this.
516
00:13:48,653 --> 00:13:49,786
I got you!
517
00:13:49,788 --> 00:13:51,120
Hey! I got you!
518
00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:52,722
Lie down and die!
519
00:13:52,724 --> 00:13:54,523
There you go. I fixed it.
520
00:13:54,525 --> 00:13:55,524
Taco, this is Japanese.
521
00:13:55,526 --> 00:13:57,360
Yeah, I know a bit of Japanese.
522
00:13:57,362 --> 00:13:58,361
Well, am I winning? Read it.
523
00:13:58,363 --> 00:13:59,362
No, I can't read Japanese.
524
00:13:59,364 --> 00:14:01,564
You have to read it to me,
and I understand it.
525
00:14:01,566 --> 00:14:02,799
All right, enough playing
526
00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:03,900
around-- we need to focus up.
527
00:14:03,902 --> 00:14:04,901
This is a war zone.
528
00:14:04,903 --> 00:14:06,302
I've got a P.O.W. camp two
529
00:14:06,304 --> 00:14:08,305
clicks north of here in
case we capture somebody.
530
00:14:08,307 --> 00:14:10,040
Raffi, where the hell do you
think you are right now?
531
00:14:10,042 --> 00:14:12,076
Vietnam, man. Vietnam!
532
00:14:12,078 --> 00:14:13,077
You were in Vietnam?
533
00:14:13,079 --> 00:14:15,913
Yeah, 2007, actually, on a
pretty intense sexual
534
00:14:15,915 --> 00:14:16,981
holiday.
535
00:14:16,983 --> 00:14:18,149
It was pretty cool.
536
00:14:18,151 --> 00:14:20,751
I had this one girl, she
was back like this.
537
00:14:20,753 --> 00:14:21,986
(gunshot, grunts)
538
00:14:21,988 --> 00:14:22,987
Ow! Something stung me.
539
00:14:22,989 --> 00:14:23,988
What is it?
540
00:14:23,990 --> 00:14:24,922
Yeah, you got shot.
541
00:14:24,924 --> 00:14:25,990
What? No, I put that paint
542
00:14:25,992 --> 00:14:26,824
there before the whole thing
543
00:14:26,826 --> 00:14:27,958
started, so it's not that big a
544
00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:28,926
deal; don't worry about it.
545
00:14:28,928 --> 00:14:30,228
Ow! What is that?
546
00:14:30,230 --> 00:14:31,229
You're out of the game.
547
00:14:31,231 --> 00:14:32,263
No, I'm not.
548
00:14:32,265 --> 00:14:33,397
This is not a game.
549
00:14:33,399 --> 00:14:34,932
This is war, okay, tall guy?
550
00:14:34,934 --> 00:14:38,903
And as far as I'm concerned,
you're now the enemy.
551
00:14:38,905 --> 00:14:40,338
I'll see you guys in hell.
552
00:14:40,340 --> 00:14:41,873
Gattaca!
553
00:14:41,875 --> 00:14:42,874
Did he say "Gattaca"?
554
00:14:42,876 --> 00:14:44,008
Uh-huh.
555
00:14:44,010 --> 00:14:45,243
Come and get me!
556
00:14:45,245 --> 00:14:46,378
Come and get me!
557
00:14:46,380 --> 00:14:50,716
(screams, gunfire)
558
00:14:50,718 --> 00:14:51,750
Eat my dick!
559
00:14:51,752 --> 00:14:52,751
Gattaca!
560
00:14:52,753 --> 00:14:55,148
Oh, shit, Raffi went rogue.
561
00:14:55,350 --> 00:14:56,618
Come and get me!
562
00:14:57,056 --> 00:14:58,150
Oh, God.
563
00:15:06,595 --> 00:15:07,895
Hey, Wesley-san.
564
00:15:07,897 --> 00:15:08,963
Hey.
565
00:15:08,965 --> 00:15:09,964
Ruxin.
566
00:15:09,966 --> 00:15:11,766
Ruxin-san, yeah.
567
00:15:11,768 --> 00:15:13,234
This is my wife Yumiko.
568
00:15:13,236 --> 00:15:14,268
Yumiko, Ruxin.
569
00:15:14,270 --> 00:15:15,303
Konichiwa.
570
00:15:15,305 --> 00:15:16,404
Sorry, bro, no English.
571
00:15:16,406 --> 00:15:17,572
Shocker.
572
00:15:17,574 --> 00:15:22,076
(speaking Japanese)
573
00:15:22,078 --> 00:15:23,210
Konichiwa.
574
00:15:23,212 --> 00:15:25,379
Konichiwa. Totally, totally.
575
00:15:25,381 --> 00:15:26,580
All right, babe, okay.
576
00:15:26,582 --> 00:15:27,815
Wow.
577
00:15:27,817 --> 00:15:29,817
So you married yourself
a Japanese girl, huh?
578
00:15:29,819 --> 00:15:30,818
Yeah.
579
00:15:30,820 --> 00:15:31,819
How about that.
580
00:15:31,821 --> 00:15:32,653
Interesting, yeah.
581
00:15:32,655 --> 00:15:33,754
Ooh, how so?
582
00:15:33,756 --> 00:15:36,490
Well, it's just funny 'cause you
called me a white racist for
583
00:15:36,492 --> 00:15:39,493
choosing an Asian chef, and then
you had your run of all the
584
00:15:39,495 --> 00:15:42,397
white women in the world and you
chose yourself an Asian girl.
585
00:15:42,399 --> 00:15:43,498
I mean, it's just interesting.
586
00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:44,666
You lost me, bro.
587
00:15:44,668 --> 00:15:46,000
Dude, you're a white racist.
588
00:15:46,002 --> 00:15:47,335
I'm not racist, bro.
589
00:15:47,337 --> 00:15:48,502
Really?
590
00:15:48,504 --> 00:15:50,105
Japanese beer? Hokkaido?
591
00:15:50,107 --> 00:15:51,105
I just prefer it.
592
00:15:51,107 --> 00:15:52,240
You don't see this?
593
00:15:52,242 --> 00:15:53,441
You don't see my point?
594
00:15:53,443 --> 00:15:54,742
Super frustrating, bro.
595
00:15:54,744 --> 00:15:57,645
Super frustrating, bro.
596
00:16:02,083 --> 00:16:03,484
(multiple gunshots)
597
00:16:03,486 --> 00:16:03,918
Oh!
598
00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:04,619
Oh, shit!
599
00:16:04,621 --> 00:16:05,320
Jesus Christ!
600
00:16:05,322 --> 00:16:06,354
We're getting pinned down bad.
601
00:16:06,356 --> 00:16:07,122
Gattaca!
602
00:16:07,124 --> 00:16:10,158
Oh, shit, Raffi's trying
to kill us, too.
603
00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:10,692
Gattaca!
604
00:16:10,694 --> 00:16:12,360
I didn't think he'd
seen that movie.
605
00:16:12,362 --> 00:16:13,929
He wouldn't be yelling
that if he had.
606
00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:16,965
Shit, man!
I gotta get my scores.
607
00:16:16,967 --> 00:16:17,999
(ringing)
608
00:16:18,001 --> 00:16:22,171
Okay, hey, Pete, guess what?
609
00:16:22,173 --> 00:16:23,605
I'm in the middle of something.
610
00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:25,540
You're not getting
these scores, Pete.
611
00:16:25,542 --> 00:16:26,708
Stop saying "Pete," okay?
612
00:16:26,710 --> 00:16:27,776
Okay, no more Pete.
613
00:16:27,778 --> 00:16:29,711
All right, let's get
a picture of this.
614
00:16:29,713 --> 00:16:30,212
Wait.
615
00:16:30,214 --> 00:16:31,546
Me crossing the finish line!
616
00:16:31,548 --> 00:16:33,615
Kevin... Switching to video.
617
00:16:33,617 --> 00:16:35,151
No, Kevin! Stop!
618
00:16:35,153 --> 00:16:36,218
Switching back!
619
00:16:36,220 --> 00:16:37,453
And here we... Oh!
620
00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:38,120
Oh, what?
621
00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:39,388
Oh, God, I got a cramp!
622
00:16:39,390 --> 00:16:39,822
What?
623
00:16:39,824 --> 00:16:40,990
I got a cramp!
624
00:16:40,992 --> 00:16:41,724
I'm going down!
625
00:16:41,726 --> 00:16:42,525
Are you okay?
626
00:16:42,527 --> 00:16:43,659
I finished.
627
00:16:43,661 --> 00:16:46,128
Yay.
628
00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:47,029
Fives.
629
00:16:47,031 --> 00:16:48,530
All right, we're
running out of time.
630
00:16:48,532 --> 00:16:50,699
We're gonna have to blast
our way out of here.
631
00:16:50,701 --> 00:16:52,200
Yeah, we need to win this thing.
632
00:16:52,202 --> 00:16:54,136
No, I don't give a shit
about the paintball.
633
00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:55,237
I gotta get my scores.
634
00:16:55,239 --> 00:16:55,971
You ready?
635
00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:56,505
Yeah.
636
00:16:56,507 --> 00:16:59,008
BOTH: Three... two... one.
637
00:16:59,010 --> 00:17:00,243
I slept with Megan.
638
00:17:00,245 --> 00:17:01,177
What?
639
00:17:01,179 --> 00:17:02,145
Go!
640
00:17:02,147 --> 00:17:02,679
Whoo!
641
00:17:02,681 --> 00:17:03,546
What?!
642
00:17:03,548 --> 00:17:06,149
(rapid gunfire)
643
00:17:06,151 --> 00:17:07,517
Let's go!
644
00:17:07,519 --> 00:17:10,087
BOTH: Yah!
645
00:17:11,590 --> 00:17:13,524
(rapid gunfire)
646
00:17:23,101 --> 00:17:25,503
Break left!
647
00:17:27,273 --> 00:17:29,574
Paint knife!
648
00:17:32,145 --> 00:17:34,279
(both yell)
649
00:17:34,281 --> 00:17:35,747
Let's get out of here!
650
00:17:35,749 --> 00:17:36,215
Pete!
651
00:17:36,217 --> 00:17:37,049
What?
652
00:17:37,051 --> 00:17:39,218
The flag! We can win this.
653
00:17:39,220 --> 00:17:41,353
(Japanese ringtone plays)
654
00:17:41,355 --> 00:17:43,022
Oh, now Kevin decides to call.
655
00:17:43,024 --> 00:17:46,125
How did you turn my
ringtone Japanese?
656
00:17:46,127 --> 00:17:48,461
Sorry, tall guy.
657
00:17:48,463 --> 00:17:51,031
(Raffi yells)
658
00:17:51,033 --> 00:17:53,867
Welcome to Gattaca, asshole!
659
00:17:53,869 --> 00:17:55,469
That was a terrible movie.
660
00:17:55,471 --> 00:17:57,037
Wait. It's a movie?
661
00:17:57,039 --> 00:17:59,239
I can feel your penis in
the back of my head.
662
00:17:59,241 --> 00:18:00,406
It's a war boner, man.
663
00:18:00,408 --> 00:18:03,777
Oh! (sighs)
664
00:18:03,779 --> 00:18:05,412
Did you just pee on me?
665
00:18:05,414 --> 00:18:09,049
Oh, man, we just shared
something, Taco.
666
00:18:09,051 --> 00:18:10,317
Oh!
667
00:18:10,319 --> 00:18:12,285
Wouldn't it be magic, kids,
668
00:18:12,287 --> 00:18:13,987
if the Amazing Andre knew every
669
00:18:13,989 --> 00:18:15,922
card before he called them?
670
00:18:15,924 --> 00:18:16,923
Is it a nine?
671
00:18:16,925 --> 00:18:17,924
Is it a eight?
672
00:18:17,926 --> 00:18:18,458
Is it a...?
673
00:18:18,460 --> 00:18:19,158
(knocking on door)
674
00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:20,259
Hi. Someone's in here.
675
00:18:20,261 --> 00:18:21,327
I ripped my groin, Andre.
676
00:18:21,329 --> 00:18:22,061
Ow! Move!
677
00:18:22,063 --> 00:18:22,495
What?
678
00:18:22,497 --> 00:18:23,329
What do I do?
679
00:18:23,331 --> 00:18:24,230
My groin's killing me!
680
00:18:24,232 --> 00:18:25,097
Sports rub, maybe.
681
00:18:25,099 --> 00:18:25,798
I don't know.
682
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:26,332
Sports rub.
683
00:18:26,334 --> 00:18:27,633
All right, get out. Get out!
684
00:18:27,635 --> 00:18:28,500
All right!
685
00:18:28,502 --> 00:18:30,269
God! Oh! Oh, thank God!
686
00:18:30,271 --> 00:18:33,272
Please, can I just get up
into that master bath?
687
00:18:33,274 --> 00:18:35,474
Buddy, I told you, master
bath's off-limits, okay?
688
00:18:35,476 --> 00:18:37,843
I just need a 20-minute
master bath sesh.
689
00:18:37,845 --> 00:18:39,378
I need access to a shower,
690
00:18:39,380 --> 00:18:40,479
I need some quality magazines.
691
00:18:40,481 --> 00:18:41,014
(groans)
692
00:18:41,016 --> 00:18:42,014
Man, you know your problem?
693
00:18:42,016 --> 00:18:43,049
You're eating all this candy
694
00:18:43,051 --> 00:18:44,083
like you're a little shit pig.
695
00:18:44,085 --> 00:18:45,151
It's not the food, man.
696
00:18:45,153 --> 00:18:47,921
It's that goddamn
white sushi chef.
697
00:18:47,923 --> 00:18:49,088
He gave me food poisoning.
698
00:18:49,090 --> 00:18:50,089
No, man.
699
00:18:50,091 --> 00:18:51,090
You been to Spooky Sushi?
700
00:18:51,092 --> 00:18:52,458
Yeah, and it's haunting me.
701
00:18:52,460 --> 00:18:56,196
Hey, Ku Klux Kabachi,
what's up, Wesley-san?
702
00:18:56,198 --> 00:18:59,299
Hey, Ruxin. Bree, bro, brat-san.
703
00:18:59,301 --> 00:19:00,166
What's up, Wesley-san?
704
00:19:00,168 --> 00:19:00,934
What's up, buddy?
705
00:19:00,936 --> 00:19:01,968
You don't look so good.
706
00:19:01,970 --> 00:19:03,203
Yeah, it's 'cause you gave
707
00:19:03,205 --> 00:19:04,304
me food poisoning last night.
708
00:19:04,306 --> 00:19:06,272
Japanese chef would
never poison you.
709
00:19:06,274 --> 00:19:08,341
Yeah, I don't think
you're a Japanese chef.
710
00:19:08,343 --> 00:19:11,010
I consider you a white dude
from Oma-ha who can't make
711
00:19:11,012 --> 00:19:12,278
sush for shit!
712
00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:14,547
Whoa, bro...
In fact, I would rather have
713
00:19:14,549 --> 00:19:17,417
your son here make me sashimi
than have you make me a
714
00:19:17,419 --> 00:19:18,151
veggie roll.
715
00:19:18,153 --> 00:19:19,719
Bro, you got to back off now.
716
00:19:19,721 --> 00:19:22,722
Or what? You gonna whip out
some cornhusker ka-ra-te?
717
00:19:22,724 --> 00:19:24,124
I don't want to, but I will.
718
00:19:24,126 --> 00:19:25,458
Well, if you're as good at
719
00:19:25,460 --> 00:19:26,759
karate as you are making sushi,
720
00:19:26,761 --> 00:19:28,227
I think I'm gonna be just fine.
721
00:19:28,229 --> 00:19:29,896
Bro, you really think
I poisoned you?
722
00:19:29,898 --> 00:19:30,797
Hai!
723
00:19:30,799 --> 00:19:31,330
Hai!
724
00:19:31,332 --> 00:19:32,298
(Ruxin groans)
725
00:19:32,300 --> 00:19:33,166
Oh, hai!
726
00:19:33,168 --> 00:19:34,467
Oh, my God, Ruxin!
727
00:19:34,469 --> 00:19:36,202
Oh, the sush is loosh!
728
00:19:36,204 --> 00:19:38,337
Fine, buddy, you can
use the master.
729
00:19:38,339 --> 00:19:39,538
This guy fed me SpongeBob
730
00:19:39,540 --> 00:19:40,706
SquarePants, and now I'm gonna
731
00:19:40,708 --> 00:19:42,175
die, like in Alien!
732
00:19:42,177 --> 00:19:44,177
I'm gonna poke you in
a few places, okay?
733
00:19:44,179 --> 00:19:44,976
Does this hurt?
734
00:19:44,978 --> 00:19:45,742
Oh, God, yes!
735
00:19:45,744 --> 00:19:46,577
It's appendicitis.
736
00:19:46,579 --> 00:19:47,310
Call an ambulance!
737
00:19:47,312 --> 00:19:48,011
It's what?
738
00:19:48,013 --> 00:19:49,913
Appendicitis.
739
00:19:49,915 --> 00:19:51,214
My bad, bro.
740
00:19:51,216 --> 00:19:53,550
Am I still paying for
the Spooky Sushi?
741
00:19:53,552 --> 00:19:54,217
Hai!
742
00:19:54,219 --> 00:19:55,552
Hai, bro.
743
00:20:03,911 --> 00:20:06,179
Who had such a stinky diaper?
744
00:20:06,181 --> 00:20:08,081
Did you have such
a stinky diaper?
745
00:20:08,083 --> 00:20:09,115
I'm in trouble.
746
00:20:09,117 --> 00:20:10,116
Oh, baby, baby!
747
00:20:10,118 --> 00:20:13,144
I was applying some sports rub,
and I was lathering up, and
748
00:20:13,146 --> 00:20:14,776
some of it got in my tailpipe!
749
00:20:14,778 --> 00:20:15,677
It's burning so bad!
750
00:20:15,679 --> 00:20:16,614
Okay, okay, lay down.
751
00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:18,059
Lay down. Lay... down.
752
00:20:18,061 --> 00:20:19,033
Ow, ow, ow! Oh, God!
753
00:20:19,035 --> 00:20:20,010
Just take these off.
754
00:20:20,012 --> 00:20:21,322
Help, help, help, help!
755
00:20:21,324 --> 00:20:22,584
Oh, God!
756
00:20:22,586 --> 00:20:24,051
Oh, my God!
757
00:20:24,053 --> 00:20:25,347
Oh, it hurts so bad!
758
00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:27,596
Yeah, I'm gonna
take a wipe, okay?
759
00:20:27,598 --> 00:20:29,408
Got a piece of that record!
760
00:20:29,410 --> 00:20:30,352
You did so good.
761
00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:32,424
Oh, I'm a grown-ass man
and I did it-- oh, God!
762
00:20:32,426 --> 00:20:34,180
You are a grown-ass
man, and you did it.
763
00:20:34,182 --> 00:20:35,642
Okay, does that feel
better on you bum-bum?
764
00:20:35,644 --> 00:20:36,604
(baby cries)
765
00:20:36,606 --> 00:20:37,265
Oh, yeah, yeah.
766
00:20:37,267 --> 00:20:39,655
Oh, my poor boys.
767
00:20:39,657 --> 00:20:41,411
Oh, no.
768
00:20:43,413 --> 00:20:46,163
Hey, Ruxin had appendicitis.
769
00:20:46,165 --> 00:20:48,714
Oh, I didn't know you
guys were doing this.
770
00:20:48,716 --> 00:20:50,903
Wait, Ben-- I tied your
sex record, buddy.
771
00:20:50,905 --> 00:20:52,065
What? Come on, guys!
772
00:20:52,067 --> 00:20:54,450
Really? Six times in
my daughter's bedroom?
773
00:20:54,452 --> 00:20:55,250
Thank you.
774
00:20:55,252 --> 00:20:56,406
And it's her birthday.
775
00:20:56,408 --> 00:20:57,701
By the way, that doesn't count.
776
00:20:57,703 --> 00:20:59,491
But I am gonna try it.
777
00:20:59,493 --> 00:21:01,312
Did he say six times?
778
00:21:01,314 --> 00:21:02,841
Whoops.
779
00:21:04,352 --> 00:21:08,232
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
780
00:21:08,282 --> 00:21:12,832
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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