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RUXIN: I dominated you last
year like the '85 Bears.
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00:00:04,514 --> 00:00:05,540
PETE: Oh, God.
3
00:00:05,542 --> 00:00:11,501
And so I present to you...
the Shiva Bowl Shuffle!
4
00:00:11,503 --> 00:00:13,880
(synthesized music playing)
5
00:00:16,953 --> 00:00:19,554
♪ I'm a lawyer getting the
Fortune 500 out of trouble
6
00:00:19,556 --> 00:00:23,430
But now I'm here to do the Shiva ♪ Bowl
Shuffle I'm the best and you're the
7
00:00:23,432 --> 00:00:28,700
worst ♪ And if you need any
proof, this was Kevin's first ♪
8
00:00:28,702 --> 00:00:30,772
KEVIN: Oh, you know what?
9
00:00:30,774 --> 00:00:34,276
♪ Ruxin's number one, it's true, you
can't stop him Meet the rest of my team
10
00:00:34,278 --> 00:00:36,913
Pete top, Kevin bottom ♪
11
00:00:39,783 --> 00:00:41,918
♪ I'm MJD, Ruxin's first
pick in the draft ♪
12
00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:42,752
Holy shitballs.
13
00:00:42,754 --> 00:00:44,788
♪ He went with me, and
we kicked all your ass ♪
14
00:00:44,790 --> 00:00:48,925
♪ Brent Grimes here with the Falcons D
Keeping Ruxin winning with my five INTs ♪
15
00:00:48,927 --> 00:00:54,531
♪ I'm Sidney Rice, I'm hip to the IR Won
Ruxin the Shiva with my late-season charge ♪
16
00:00:57,003 --> 00:00:58,903
This is his whole fantasy team.
17
00:00:58,905 --> 00:01:01,942
♪ We're Ruxin's team, winning every
scuffle And now we're here to do
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00:01:01,944 --> 00:01:03,943
♪ The Shiva Bowl Shuffle Ruxin's
better than you, Pete,
19
00:01:03,945 --> 00:01:07,581
hate to burst your bubble ♪ And that's
why we're doing The Shiva Bowl Shuffle ♪
20
00:01:07,583 --> 00:01:12,118
♪ Shiva Komedi Somakanakram
Shiva Komedi Somakanakram ♪
21
00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:15,887
♪ He likes fine wine and risotto with
truffles And now he's doing the Shiva
22
00:01:15,889 --> 00:01:18,956
♪ Bowl shuffle He's a league champion
with George Clooney stubble
23
00:01:18,958 --> 00:01:22,326
♪ And we're all doing the
Shiva Bowl Shuffle! ♪
24
00:01:22,446 --> 00:01:26,574
Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
25
00:01:26,694 --> 00:01:29,923
ANDRE: Good evening,
my lords and ladies!
26
00:01:30,043 --> 00:01:33,450
Perhaps I can interest
you in a fair ditty.
27
00:01:33,570 --> 00:01:39,920
Now, I play for my heart, but I
don't mind a ha'penny or two.
28
00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:43,603
(playing flute)
29
00:01:43,723 --> 00:01:45,062
JENNY: He's really
getting a lot better.
30
00:01:45,182 --> 00:01:46,765
Yeah, the lessons
have helped, yeah.
31
00:01:46,885 --> 00:01:47,850
You made him take lessons?
32
00:01:47,970 --> 00:01:50,218
I just told him his punishment
was he had to play the flute.
33
00:01:50,338 --> 00:01:52,365
He took the lessons on his own.
34
00:01:54,734 --> 00:01:56,113
Oh, no, turn around.
35
00:01:56,233 --> 00:01:56,899
Got to keep going.
36
00:01:57,019 --> 00:01:58,031
Work the finish.
37
00:01:58,151 --> 00:01:59,549
Do the kicks.
38
00:02:02,681 --> 00:02:05,155
Ah, your horseless carriage.
39
00:02:05,275 --> 00:02:07,257
Oh, that girl looks terrified.
40
00:02:07,922 --> 00:02:11,344
It's definitely less creepy when
you follow them onto the bus.
41
00:02:12,394 --> 00:02:15,677
I'll be here all week!
42
00:02:20,872 --> 00:02:23,522
The good news is you're becoming
one heck of a flute player.
43
00:02:23,642 --> 00:02:26,160
Uh, it is flautist,
thank you very much.
44
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:30,160
And you would know, from all your years
of playing the skin flute down here.
45
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:32,077
You just have to put your
fingers up here now.
46
00:02:32,197 --> 00:02:33,443
It's the skin flaut, though.
47
00:02:33,563 --> 00:02:36,413
And when is this Sacko punishment
going to actually end, all right?
48
00:02:36,533 --> 00:02:38,304
You know the deal, Andre.
49
00:02:38,424 --> 00:02:41,152
The day of the draft, you can
shave off whatever you like.
50
00:02:41,272 --> 00:02:45,702
♪ Shiva Komedi Somakanakram
Shiva Komedi Somakanakram... ♪
51
00:02:45,822 --> 00:02:47,044
Boo.
52
00:02:47,164 --> 00:02:48,083
Boo.
53
00:02:48,203 --> 00:02:49,005
Aw... Boo.
54
00:02:49,264 --> 00:02:51,598
Now, Andre, do you see yourself
more as like a rapist
55
00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:54,502
who does magic, or a magician
who also likes to rape?
56
00:02:54,504 --> 00:02:55,269
Big distinction.
57
00:02:55,271 --> 00:02:57,204
Well, with me magic
always comes first.
58
00:02:57,206 --> 00:02:57,805
Of course. Of course.
59
00:02:57,807 --> 00:02:58,539
Yeah.
60
00:02:58,541 --> 00:03:01,021
I want the season
to start so badly.
61
00:03:01,141 --> 00:03:02,140
I want to shave this off.
62
00:03:02,142 --> 00:03:03,074
I want to be a new man again.
63
00:03:03,076 --> 00:03:04,208
Stop complaining, okay?
64
00:03:04,210 --> 00:03:05,843
You're lucky we're
even having a season.
65
00:03:05,845 --> 00:03:06,678
This almost didn't happen.
66
00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:07,211
Yeah.
67
00:03:07,213 --> 00:03:08,513
We would have been the
real losers here.
68
00:03:08,515 --> 00:03:10,181
This guy would have been
champion for a whole other year.
69
00:03:10,183 --> 00:03:12,750
No way DeMaurice Smith and Roger
Goodell would have let that happen.
70
00:03:12,752 --> 00:03:14,851
Well, I am champion this year.
71
00:03:14,853 --> 00:03:17,154
And I feel like it's time
to step it up a notch.
72
00:03:17,156 --> 00:03:19,923
I wish that I could take out the
Shiva every day and show it to
73
00:03:19,925 --> 00:03:23,427
you pathetic, also-ran,
shit sippers, but I can't.
74
00:03:23,429 --> 00:03:24,861
What did you do to the Shiva?
75
00:03:24,863 --> 00:03:25,862
I didn't touch the Shiva.
76
00:03:25,864 --> 00:03:26,863
What did you do to the Dre?
77
00:03:26,865 --> 00:03:28,098
I will never touch the Dre.
78
00:03:28,100 --> 00:03:30,868
But I did do this.
79
00:03:30,870 --> 00:03:31,869
Bam!
80
00:03:31,871 --> 00:03:32,703
Whoa.
81
00:03:32,705 --> 00:03:34,105
It says "Shiva Champ."
82
00:03:34,107 --> 00:03:36,073
It says "Suck it" on
the side, though.
83
00:03:36,075 --> 00:03:37,074
Ow!
84
00:03:37,076 --> 00:03:38,175
Ah, I Pretty Woman'd you.
85
00:03:38,177 --> 00:03:41,679
So, with this ring,
I thee wed, Shiva.
86
00:03:41,681 --> 00:03:43,181
Wow.
87
00:03:43,183 --> 00:03:44,883
Want to touch it?
88
00:03:44,885 --> 00:03:46,118
Want to smell it?
89
00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:47,786
Get it out of my face, please.
90
00:03:47,788 --> 00:03:48,620
Want to kiss it?
91
00:03:48,622 --> 00:03:49,354
No.
92
00:03:49,356 --> 00:03:50,555
A little Shiva-lingus?
93
00:03:50,557 --> 00:03:51,590
Come on, Kevin.
94
00:03:51,592 --> 00:03:52,891
Find out if it tastes the same.
95
00:03:52,893 --> 00:03:54,526
"One ring to rule them.
96
00:03:54,528 --> 00:03:57,563
One ring to find them, and
in darkness bind them."
97
00:03:57,565 --> 00:03:59,298
You are Sauron.
98
00:03:59,300 --> 00:04:01,134
Hell are you talking about?
99
00:04:01,136 --> 00:04:02,435
Uh, Lord of the Rings?
100
00:04:02,437 --> 00:04:03,403
Ever read it?
101
00:04:03,405 --> 00:04:04,437
Oh, you're so alone.
102
00:04:04,439 --> 00:04:05,371
Hey, what's going on?
103
00:04:05,373 --> 00:04:06,272
What's Taco doing here?
104
00:04:06,274 --> 00:04:08,141
I thought Taco was still on
his round-the-world trip.
105
00:04:08,143 --> 00:04:09,608
TACO: Hey, long time, no see.
106
00:04:09,610 --> 00:04:10,576
Where did he get that?
107
00:04:10,578 --> 00:04:12,644
Oh, man, I missed you so much.
108
00:04:12,646 --> 00:04:14,046
Hello?
109
00:04:14,048 --> 00:04:15,447
Oh, hey.
110
00:04:15,449 --> 00:04:16,448
Hey.
111
00:04:16,450 --> 00:04:17,382
What are you guys doing here?
112
00:04:17,384 --> 00:04:18,383
When did you get back?
113
00:04:18,385 --> 00:04:19,717
Came straight from the airport.
114
00:04:19,719 --> 00:04:21,219
That's why I still
have my luggage.
115
00:04:21,221 --> 00:04:23,354
You traveled around the world
for seven months with a
116
00:04:23,356 --> 00:04:24,555
glorified fanny pack?
117
00:04:24,557 --> 00:04:25,256
It was easy.
118
00:04:25,258 --> 00:04:27,391
Used my international
Eskimo brothers network.
119
00:04:27,393 --> 00:04:29,493
Can you believe these guys
don't know who Sauron is?
120
00:04:29,495 --> 00:04:31,862
Andre, when did you become a
high school music teacher?
121
00:04:31,864 --> 00:04:33,797
Oh, actually I'm a flautist.
122
00:04:33,799 --> 00:04:35,166
You play the flaut?
123
00:04:35,168 --> 00:04:36,801
Buck. Buck.
124
00:04:36,803 --> 00:04:37,869
Hi.
125
00:04:37,871 --> 00:04:39,870
So you're in the Taliban now, or...
126
00:04:39,872 --> 00:04:40,805
No, not anymore.
127
00:04:40,807 --> 00:04:42,173
Worst April of my life.
128
00:04:42,175 --> 00:04:44,309
Hey, bang-bang, what's the hang?
129
00:04:44,311 --> 00:04:45,143
Bang-bang.
130
00:04:45,145 --> 00:04:45,877
What's that?
131
00:04:45,879 --> 00:04:48,413
When I was in Algeria, I was
an actor on a soap opera.
132
00:04:48,415 --> 00:04:49,881
What?
133
00:04:49,883 --> 00:04:53,250
(announcer speaking
foreign language)
134
00:04:53,252 --> 00:04:56,687
(speaking foreign language)
135
00:04:56,689 --> 00:04:58,255
Howdy, folks.
136
00:04:58,257 --> 00:04:58,822
Whoa.
137
00:04:58,824 --> 00:04:59,523
What?
138
00:04:59,525 --> 00:05:01,358
I want you to meet
my boyfriend Buck.
139
00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:02,492
American?
140
00:05:02,494 --> 00:05:04,428
That's right, I'm American.
141
00:05:04,430 --> 00:05:08,298
Bang-bang, what's the hang?
(screaming)
142
00:05:08,300 --> 00:05:10,267
What are you supposed to be?
143
00:05:10,269 --> 00:05:13,838
I'm an American
rapper/cowboy/cautionary tale.
144
00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:15,807
These are actually
pretty comfortable.
145
00:05:15,809 --> 00:05:16,842
Oh, Taco, a burka?
146
00:05:16,844 --> 00:05:17,843
What?
147
00:05:17,845 --> 00:05:20,112
Back in the USA, we get venereal
disease from our cell
148
00:05:20,114 --> 00:05:23,349
phones, and homeless people
know karate and carry guns.
149
00:05:23,351 --> 00:05:24,851
Did you have a relationship
with the costar?
150
00:05:24,853 --> 00:05:26,854
No, no, no, we were
just having sex.
151
00:05:26,856 --> 00:05:29,489
Baba, Mama, we're in love.
152
00:05:29,491 --> 00:05:31,291
Mashizzle, maslizzles.
153
00:05:31,293 --> 00:05:32,359
Rama-damn.
154
00:05:32,361 --> 00:05:33,560
Are you like under contract?
155
00:05:33,562 --> 00:05:34,394
Are you going back?
156
00:05:34,396 --> 00:05:35,796
Well, we shot two endings.
157
00:05:35,798 --> 00:05:39,767
In one ending I marry Husna and
in one ending I wear this weird
158
00:05:39,769 --> 00:05:41,802
vest with wires on it...
Oh, my God.
159
00:05:41,804 --> 00:05:43,870
And I walk into a building and
wake up with 40 virgins.
160
00:05:43,872 --> 00:05:44,538
Whoa-whoa-whoa!
161
00:05:44,540 --> 00:05:46,340
Spoiler alert!
162
00:05:46,342 --> 00:05:52,246
Okay, "To correct bad behavior,
use a low, stern voice
163
00:05:52,248 --> 00:05:53,882
and a foot stomp."
164
00:05:53,884 --> 00:05:54,883
(deep voice): Stay.
165
00:05:54,885 --> 00:05:55,884
Stay.
166
00:05:55,886 --> 00:05:56,885
(high-pitched): Good boy.
167
00:05:56,887 --> 00:05:57,887
Hey.
168
00:05:57,889 --> 00:05:58,821
Good boy.
169
00:05:58,823 --> 00:06:00,824
You do realize I wanted
a baby though, right?
170
00:06:00,826 --> 00:06:02,258
Yeah, I do realize.
171
00:06:02,260 --> 00:06:04,227
I don't feel virile right now.
172
00:06:04,229 --> 00:06:06,229
I'm not inspired to
go into this season.
173
00:06:06,231 --> 00:06:07,731
I have a very low draft drive.
174
00:06:07,733 --> 00:06:11,568
You got to know that me having a
baby is not going to fix that.
175
00:06:11,570 --> 00:06:13,837
Okay, knocking me up doesn't
make you a champion.
176
00:06:13,839 --> 00:06:17,842
I, as much as I wish I could,
cannot give birth to a Shiva.
177
00:06:17,844 --> 00:06:19,176
You got to win it.
178
00:06:19,178 --> 00:06:20,244
I can win things on my own.
179
00:06:20,246 --> 00:06:21,078
You going to win this?
180
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:22,113
I can do stuff on my own.
181
00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:24,215
I could eat Pop Tarts raw.
182
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:25,183
Use a plate.
183
00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:26,584
Why?
184
00:06:26,586 --> 00:06:28,453
We have a furry dustbuster now.
185
00:06:28,455 --> 00:06:30,255
Here you go.
186
00:06:30,257 --> 00:06:31,724
Go get it.
187
00:06:31,726 --> 00:06:33,725
Use... a... plate.
188
00:06:35,161 --> 00:06:37,096
Okay.
189
00:06:41,854 --> 00:06:44,311
All right, let's pick the draft
order and get things things going.
190
00:06:44,431 --> 00:06:45,456
Let's do it.
Really?
191
00:06:46,357 --> 00:06:47,923
This is what you have prepared?
192
00:06:47,925 --> 00:06:48,924
Names out of a hat?
193
00:06:48,926 --> 00:06:50,359
I'm not here to
entertain you guys.
194
00:06:50,361 --> 00:06:51,760
This is about
winning this year.
195
00:06:51,762 --> 00:06:52,894
I'm streamlining the process.
196
00:06:52,896 --> 00:06:53,895
Besides, this isn't a hat.
197
00:06:53,897 --> 00:06:58,031
This is a... It's a cobra box that I
brought back from India-- the country.
198
00:06:58,033 --> 00:06:59,133
Exactly.
199
00:06:59,135 --> 00:07:02,302
Are we waiting for Ruxin, or...
No, we have a quorum.
200
00:07:02,304 --> 00:07:03,303
Let's get this done.
201
00:07:03,305 --> 00:07:05,039
I have an appointment
with Anton my barber.
202
00:07:05,041 --> 00:07:06,207
All right.
203
00:07:06,209 --> 00:07:12,313
The first person to pick in the
2011 draft will be... Let's get it.
204
00:07:12,315 --> 00:07:13,715
It's gonna be good.
205
00:07:13,717 --> 00:07:16,050
Okay.
206
00:07:17,353 --> 00:07:18,587
Ruxin.
207
00:07:18,589 --> 00:07:19,654
(all groaning)
208
00:07:19,656 --> 00:07:20,322
Oh, man.
209
00:07:20,324 --> 00:07:22,256
Come on.
210
00:07:22,258 --> 00:07:27,761
So the first pick in the
2011 draft goes to...
211
00:07:31,398 --> 00:07:32,332
Wait.
212
00:07:32,334 --> 00:07:34,334
No, no, we're not going to do...
Yeah.
213
00:07:34,336 --> 00:07:35,101
We should do this.
214
00:07:35,103 --> 00:07:35,968
This is very simple.
215
00:07:35,970 --> 00:07:39,572
Okay, we just say, Hey, Ruxin,
you pick, like, fifth.
216
00:07:39,574 --> 00:07:44,743
And it'll be totally fine as long as
one of us is drafting after him.
217
00:07:44,745 --> 00:07:45,744
Right?
218
00:07:45,746 --> 00:07:46,312
Oh, oh, no.
219
00:07:46,314 --> 00:07:48,113
Yeah, well, that
seems appropriate.
220
00:07:48,115 --> 00:07:49,115
Me?
221
00:07:49,117 --> 00:07:50,917
Yeah, it'll be your
last Sacko punishment.
222
00:07:50,919 --> 00:07:51,951
Okay, here we go.
223
00:07:51,953 --> 00:07:53,352
First pick in the draft.
224
00:07:53,354 --> 00:07:54,353
Goes to... (snap)
225
00:07:54,355 --> 00:07:56,289
Because we haven't
picked anything yet.
226
00:07:56,291 --> 00:07:56,956
Ow, ow.
227
00:07:56,958 --> 00:07:58,123
Taco, my finger's caught.
228
00:07:58,125 --> 00:07:58,857
Are you serious?
229
00:07:58,859 --> 00:08:00,626
It's kind of...
It's pinching a little bit.
230
00:08:00,628 --> 00:08:01,761
Yeah, it's a cobra box.
231
00:08:01,763 --> 00:08:02,762
It's a finger lock.
232
00:08:02,764 --> 00:08:05,097
It's not coming...
It won't come off.
233
00:08:05,099 --> 00:08:06,098
Ow!
234
00:08:06,100 --> 00:08:08,300
It hurts so bad
when I pull hard!
235
00:08:08,302 --> 00:08:10,302
Oh good, that means
it's authentic.
236
00:08:10,304 --> 00:08:13,605
And last but not least...
we have Chuck.
237
00:08:13,607 --> 00:08:14,306
All right... Mr. Chuck.
238
00:08:14,308 --> 00:08:15,874
And, uh... That's that.
239
00:08:15,876 --> 00:08:17,876
All right, we're good?
240
00:08:17,878 --> 00:08:18,844
Everybody good?
241
00:08:18,846 --> 00:08:20,045
Don't tell him anything.
242
00:08:20,047 --> 00:08:21,280
Absolutely.
243
00:08:21,282 --> 00:08:22,815
Someone at the door.
244
00:08:22,817 --> 00:08:23,949
Whoa.
245
00:08:23,951 --> 00:08:27,554
I'm really sorry that I'm late,
but I was getting my ring fitted.
246
00:08:27,556 --> 00:08:28,655
Look at that.
247
00:08:28,657 --> 00:08:30,524
Wait, what happened
to your wedding ring?
248
00:08:30,526 --> 00:08:32,693
Oh, today I'm
besotted to to Shiva.
249
00:08:32,695 --> 00:08:34,694
It's kind of an
anniversary for us.
250
00:08:34,696 --> 00:08:38,065
And, uh, let us now
pick the draft order.
251
00:08:38,067 --> 00:08:39,133
Actually, we're all set.
252
00:08:39,135 --> 00:08:39,833
We already picked it.
253
00:08:39,835 --> 00:08:41,835
You already picked
the draft order?
254
00:08:41,837 --> 00:08:42,336
Yeah.
255
00:08:42,338 --> 00:08:44,638
Without your reigning
champion here?
256
00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:47,073
We had a quorum, so... A quorum?
257
00:08:47,075 --> 00:08:47,907
Yep.
258
00:08:47,909 --> 00:08:50,077
And what-what pick did
I get in the draft?
259
00:08:50,079 --> 00:08:50,743
You did okay.
260
00:08:50,745 --> 00:08:51,644
You ended up fifth.
261
00:08:51,646 --> 00:08:52,345
Fifth?!
262
00:08:52,347 --> 00:08:54,348
I got fourth, you got
fifth, he got sixth.
263
00:08:54,350 --> 00:08:55,282
I hate it.
264
00:08:55,284 --> 00:08:56,517
I'm behind you. Man.
265
00:08:56,519 --> 00:08:58,252
All right, great, so I got
fifth pick in the draft?
266
00:08:58,254 --> 00:08:58,819
Mm-hmm.
267
00:08:58,821 --> 00:08:59,753
Great. All right, cool.
268
00:08:59,755 --> 00:09:02,022
Oh, wait, hold on!
269
00:09:02,024 --> 00:09:04,558
This is bullshit.
270
00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:05,559
The fix is in.
271
00:09:05,561 --> 00:09:06,293
Here it comes.
272
00:09:06,295 --> 00:09:09,496
I think what happened is, you
decided to start without me.
273
00:09:09,498 --> 00:09:11,732
Then you picked my name out
of the hat first, and you
274
00:09:11,734 --> 00:09:13,200
thought, let's start over.
275
00:09:13,202 --> 00:09:16,603
But to make it seem natural,
we'll put him, like, fifth, and
276
00:09:16,605 --> 00:09:19,307
we'll stick a patsy like Andre
behind him at sixth...
277
00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:20,742
Take your hand off his leg.
278
00:09:20,744 --> 00:09:24,612
After that, we'll let Pete take
the lead, 'cause he's a liar.
279
00:09:24,614 --> 00:09:27,882
Jenny can back him up,
'cause she's a sociopath.
280
00:09:27,884 --> 00:09:29,918
And then we'll let the other
three lemmings keep their act
281
00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:32,621
together as long as they can
without exploding with the
282
00:09:32,623 --> 00:09:36,090
shame of diarrhea that is
currently soaking their pants.
283
00:09:36,092 --> 00:09:37,958
We did not cheat.
284
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:39,326
Kevin, did you guys cheat?
285
00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:40,527
We did not cheat.
286
00:09:40,529 --> 00:09:41,795
Andre?
287
00:09:41,797 --> 00:09:43,296
We didn't lie to you, man.
288
00:09:43,298 --> 00:09:46,099
Why don't you put the guns
away, anorexic David Crosby.
289
00:09:46,101 --> 00:09:49,135
Let me be very clear
about something.
290
00:09:49,137 --> 00:09:52,338
If I find out that you are
lying, and I will, I swear on
291
00:09:52,340 --> 00:09:59,112
Shiva that this whole
season will be suspect.
292
00:09:59,114 --> 00:10:01,348
Unless I win.
293
00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:05,818
So pile into your clown car of lies,
'cause you're all going down.
294
00:10:05,820 --> 00:10:09,622
(imitates car
horn): Lies, lies.
295
00:10:09,624 --> 00:10:12,125
(humming circus music)
296
00:10:14,129 --> 00:10:16,631
Wow, he just figured out the
whole damn thing from beginning
297
00:10:16,633 --> 00:10:18,066
to end like he was in the room.
298
00:10:18,068 --> 00:10:19,100
Let's just bring him back.
299
00:10:19,102 --> 00:10:20,234
Let's just pick again.
300
00:10:20,236 --> 00:10:21,169
Kevin, no.
301
00:10:21,171 --> 00:10:22,603
That admits that we were lying.
302
00:10:22,605 --> 00:10:23,905
We're too deep, man.
303
00:10:23,907 --> 00:10:24,839
Andre, it's Ruxin.
304
00:10:24,841 --> 00:10:25,774
We'll laugh about it.
305
00:10:25,776 --> 00:10:30,279
He'll appreciate the fact that we tried to
tell him that the truth... Quiet! Hm?
306
00:10:30,281 --> 00:10:32,381
Yeah, yeah.
307
00:10:32,383 --> 00:10:33,382
Here's the deal.
308
00:10:33,384 --> 00:10:36,385
We can never say a
word of this to Ruxin.
309
00:10:36,387 --> 00:10:37,286
Never ever.
310
00:10:37,288 --> 00:10:38,855
Let's make it official.
311
00:10:38,857 --> 00:10:40,156
Blood oath.
312
00:10:40,158 --> 00:10:41,958
Kevin, give me your penis.
313
00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:43,693
No!
314
00:10:43,695 --> 00:10:45,361
Hey.
315
00:10:45,363 --> 00:10:46,396
Hey.
316
00:10:46,398 --> 00:10:49,399
So, uh, I saw what you
were doing out there.
317
00:10:49,401 --> 00:10:50,634
What?
318
00:10:50,636 --> 00:10:52,870
You're using the dog training
book on your husband.
319
00:10:52,872 --> 00:10:53,937
What?!
320
00:10:53,939 --> 00:10:55,540
Yeah, right.
321
00:10:55,542 --> 00:10:56,641
Maybe a little bit.
322
00:10:56,643 --> 00:10:58,309
I've been training him
for years, all right?
323
00:10:58,311 --> 00:10:59,543
I just use a different method.
324
00:10:59,545 --> 00:11:01,178
(pen clicking)
325
00:11:01,180 --> 00:11:02,179
What?
326
00:11:02,181 --> 00:11:03,180
Hey, Kevin.
327
00:11:03,182 --> 00:11:04,181
Hey.
328
00:11:04,183 --> 00:11:05,950
Would you grab me a beer please?
329
00:11:05,952 --> 00:11:08,318
Yeah, what am I, like, Mr.
Belvedere or something?
330
00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:09,019
Get your own beer.
331
00:11:09,021 --> 00:11:10,353
(pen clicking)
332
00:11:10,355 --> 00:11:11,988
What-what-what do you want?
333
00:11:11,990 --> 00:11:13,023
A Bud Lite, please.
334
00:11:13,025 --> 00:11:15,358
Oh, well, I don't know if I
have one, but I'll check.
335
00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:17,127
How long has this been going on?
336
00:11:17,129 --> 00:11:17,994
Oh, since college.
337
00:11:17,996 --> 00:11:19,362
Well, it stops now.
338
00:11:19,364 --> 00:11:20,230
Do you hear me?
339
00:11:20,232 --> 00:11:21,231
There's one alpha dog here.
340
00:11:21,233 --> 00:11:22,365
It's me.
341
00:11:22,367 --> 00:11:23,133
There you go.
342
00:11:23,135 --> 00:11:24,001
Thank you so much, man.
343
00:11:24,003 --> 00:11:26,370
Appreciate it.
344
00:11:31,715 --> 00:11:33,216
What are we doing in
a public library?
345
00:11:33,218 --> 00:11:34,584
I got a plan to cheer you up.
346
00:11:34,586 --> 00:11:35,986
And that is at Andre's expense.
347
00:11:35,988 --> 00:11:37,487
RAFI: Oh, shit!
348
00:11:37,489 --> 00:11:39,189
What's up, jerks?
349
00:11:39,191 --> 00:11:44,027
(groans): Oh...
My esteemed colleague.
350
00:11:44,029 --> 00:11:45,228
I am day drunk.
351
00:11:45,230 --> 00:11:47,665
Get ready to see my dick.
352
00:11:47,667 --> 00:11:48,766
Brian.
353
00:11:48,768 --> 00:11:49,934
Lookin' good, tall guy.
354
00:11:49,936 --> 00:11:51,703
Up top.
355
00:11:51,705 --> 00:11:52,670
(goofy beeping sound)
356
00:11:52,672 --> 00:11:54,172
How's your child bride, Rafi?
357
00:11:54,174 --> 00:11:55,540
Oh, deported.
358
00:11:55,542 --> 00:11:58,143
Turns out you can't keep a
14-year-old you married in
359
00:11:58,145 --> 00:12:01,180
Mexico, even if you bought her fair
and square and have the receipt.
360
00:12:01,182 --> 00:12:03,182
I-I can't...
What are we doing here?
361
00:12:03,184 --> 00:12:07,119
I don't want to... Look, guys, Rafi is
going to help us with the final Sacko
362
00:12:07,121 --> 00:12:08,420
punishment for Andre.
363
00:12:08,422 --> 00:12:11,156
We're going to banish Andre from
his loft, and while he's gone...
364
00:12:11,158 --> 00:12:12,758
Shoot a porno in his place.
365
00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:14,692
We're not making a
porno with Rafi.
366
00:12:14,694 --> 00:12:15,426
We're not making
a porno at all.
367
00:12:15,428 --> 00:12:17,195
No, no, no, no, we
aren't making any porno.
368
00:12:17,197 --> 00:12:18,963
We're going to leave that
to the professionals.
369
00:12:18,965 --> 00:12:21,198
Yeah, me and Dirty Randy.
370
00:12:23,101 --> 00:12:24,768
That dude who looks like
an illiterate Wolverine?
371
00:12:24,770 --> 00:12:25,969
Yeah.
372
00:12:25,971 --> 00:12:27,938
Randy, get over here.
373
00:12:27,940 --> 00:12:30,040
Hey. Yeah.
374
00:12:30,042 --> 00:12:31,975
Look at this-- sweet pukas, man.
375
00:12:31,977 --> 00:12:33,876
Look at these sexy dudes.
376
00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:35,211
Hey, how's it going?
377
00:12:35,213 --> 00:12:36,579
Welcome to the office.
378
00:12:36,581 --> 00:12:38,614
So Dirty Randy is a librarian?
379
00:12:38,616 --> 00:12:40,048
Mostly for the infrastructure.
380
00:12:40,050 --> 00:12:42,217
This is where you really find
people at the end of their rope.
381
00:12:42,219 --> 00:12:44,086
Desperate people, weak people.
382
00:12:44,088 --> 00:12:46,888
And I pay them in drugs and
alcohol and they, uh, you know,
383
00:12:46,890 --> 00:12:47,922
they're my production team.
384
00:12:47,924 --> 00:12:48,990
That's classy.
385
00:12:48,992 --> 00:12:50,725
These are the two, right?
386
00:12:50,727 --> 00:12:51,626
Those are the guys.
387
00:12:51,628 --> 00:12:53,160
Now here's what
I'm going to say.
388
00:12:53,162 --> 00:12:54,896
I think your dicks are good...
Excuse me?
389
00:12:54,898 --> 00:12:56,164
...but I don't like
working with couples.
390
00:12:56,166 --> 00:12:58,566
We're not... We're not a couple.
391
00:12:58,568 --> 00:13:00,968
We don't... You're not a...
Well, it doesn't matter if you're on a
392
00:13:00,970 --> 00:13:01,736
break or what.
393
00:13:01,738 --> 00:13:03,905
Like, if you guys have had sex a
lot before, which you clearly
394
00:13:03,907 --> 00:13:05,774
have, it's just,
there's no chemistry.
395
00:13:05,776 --> 00:13:07,842
If you think it's weird now,
wait till I film you guys
396
00:13:07,844 --> 00:13:08,776
banging each other in the ass.
397
00:13:08,778 --> 00:13:12,913
You, though, I'd film
the shit out of you.
398
00:13:12,915 --> 00:13:16,116
I thought you were in locations.
399
00:13:16,118 --> 00:13:17,918
I was a homeless
person for along time.
400
00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:18,585
Long time.
401
00:13:18,587 --> 00:13:19,853
Kicked out of the military.
402
00:13:19,855 --> 00:13:21,088
Crack dealer.
403
00:13:21,090 --> 00:13:22,189
Porn location scout.
404
00:13:22,191 --> 00:13:23,191
Director.
405
00:13:23,193 --> 00:13:24,825
Did you guys make
Shitler's List?
406
00:13:24,827 --> 00:13:25,760
Oh, wow, you've seen it.
407
00:13:25,762 --> 00:13:28,262
You know what's amazing is, at the
time it was actually, like,
408
00:13:28,264 --> 00:13:30,864
a controversial choice to
make it in black and white.
409
00:13:30,866 --> 00:13:34,067
But, you know, cum is so white,
the cocks we were using were so
410
00:13:34,069 --> 00:13:36,202
black that they just really
complimented each other.
411
00:13:36,204 --> 00:13:37,670
It's pretty unbelievable.
412
00:13:37,672 --> 00:13:39,205
Should we start talking shop?
413
00:13:39,207 --> 00:13:42,174
Let's do this, let's
talk turkey.
414
00:13:42,176 --> 00:13:44,109
Okay, this is going
to be really simple.
415
00:13:44,111 --> 00:13:46,612
We will come to Andre's loft,
we'll do our draft, then
416
00:13:46,614 --> 00:13:49,481
we'll vacate the premises and you
guys come in, do your thing.
417
00:13:49,483 --> 00:13:50,116
Wait, what?
418
00:13:50,118 --> 00:13:50,983
Where are you going?
419
00:13:50,985 --> 00:13:51,884
Why are you going to leave?
420
00:13:51,886 --> 00:13:52,785
We don't want to watch.
421
00:13:52,787 --> 00:13:53,686
Of course, you want to watch.
422
00:13:53,688 --> 00:13:55,054
Why wouldn't you
want to to watch?
423
00:13:55,056 --> 00:13:55,989
You don't want to see sex?
424
00:13:55,991 --> 00:13:56,656
That's sick.
425
00:13:56,658 --> 00:13:57,357
Yeah, I like sex.
426
00:13:57,359 --> 00:13:59,158
I like sausage, too, but I don't
want to watch that get made.
427
00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:01,694
Our only stipulation is that
the lead character has to be
428
00:14:01,696 --> 00:14:03,997
named Dr. Andre Nowzik.
429
00:14:03,999 --> 00:14:05,165
Cockter Andre No-Dick.
430
00:14:05,167 --> 00:14:06,166
Boom.
431
00:14:06,168 --> 00:14:09,737
Hang on, how about Dr.
Andre Nose-Dick?
432
00:14:09,739 --> 00:14:10,871
That's awesome!
433
00:14:10,873 --> 00:14:12,172
And he's got a dick for a nose.
434
00:14:12,174 --> 00:14:14,641
And he bangs girls
with his nose dick.
435
00:14:14,643 --> 00:14:16,143
(both grunting)
436
00:14:16,145 --> 00:14:17,411
Ah... choo!
437
00:14:17,413 --> 00:14:19,179
And they she goes "Gesundheit."
438
00:14:19,181 --> 00:14:19,846
Yeah.
439
00:14:19,848 --> 00:14:22,015
I guess the thing is for us,
we're just not loving the puns.
440
00:14:22,017 --> 00:14:25,252
The puns are as vital to the porn
industry as they are to the
441
00:14:25,254 --> 00:14:28,721
pet shop industry and the
child hair salon industry.
442
00:14:28,723 --> 00:14:30,056
You need puns.
443
00:14:30,058 --> 00:14:31,424
My Orgy at Andre's.
444
00:14:31,426 --> 00:14:32,392
Done, that's it.
445
00:14:32,394 --> 00:14:34,093
Look at that, look at that.
446
00:14:34,095 --> 00:14:35,995
Nailed it!
447
00:14:35,997 --> 00:14:39,598
How long from getting there to
when you're done cleaning up
448
00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:41,199
is the whole process
going to take?
449
00:14:41,201 --> 00:14:42,000
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
450
00:14:42,002 --> 00:14:42,767
We don't clean up.
451
00:14:42,769 --> 00:14:43,668
No, we don't clean up.
452
00:14:43,670 --> 00:14:45,136
You don't clean up after you
Look, guys, what's my name?
453
00:14:45,138 --> 00:14:46,004
...make the porno?
454
00:14:46,006 --> 00:14:47,939
My name is Dirty Randy.
455
00:14:47,941 --> 00:14:49,408
You know what I do?
456
00:14:49,410 --> 00:14:50,509
I do this.
457
00:14:50,511 --> 00:14:51,143
Okay.
458
00:14:51,145 --> 00:14:53,112
And I do this.
459
00:14:53,114 --> 00:14:54,680
I do this.
460
00:14:54,682 --> 00:14:55,948
You know what I don't do?
461
00:14:55,950 --> 00:14:57,049
That.
462
00:14:57,051 --> 00:14:59,351
So this is okay, this, but this
is where we draw the line?
463
00:14:59,353 --> 00:15:00,953
We're not janitors,
we're artists.
464
00:15:00,955 --> 00:15:01,721
We're filmmakers.
465
00:15:01,723 --> 00:15:03,156
How much cleaning up
are we talking about?
466
00:15:03,158 --> 00:15:04,157
Tons.
467
00:15:04,159 --> 00:15:05,058
A lot.
468
00:15:05,060 --> 00:15:05,459
Huge.
469
00:15:05,461 --> 00:15:07,027
It's like a white rain
of a thousend loads.
470
00:15:07,029 --> 00:15:09,096
You'll basically be able to climb
the walls like Spider-Man.
471
00:15:09,098 --> 00:15:10,731
Guys, I'm sorry, but you're
going to have to clean up.
472
00:15:10,733 --> 00:15:11,199
(alarm blaring)
473
00:15:11,201 --> 00:15:12,166
What's that?
474
00:15:12,168 --> 00:15:14,470
Some asshole's trying to look at
porn on the library computer.
475
00:15:14,472 --> 00:15:15,537
Hey.
476
00:15:15,539 --> 00:15:17,172
Mr. Librarian, your
Internet's broken.
477
00:15:17,174 --> 00:15:18,073
What are you doing?
478
00:15:18,075 --> 00:15:18,808
Oh, hey, guys.
479
00:15:18,810 --> 00:15:19,642
Wait a minute.
480
00:15:19,644 --> 00:15:21,744
You're Buck fromSands
ofPassion, right?
481
00:15:21,746 --> 00:15:22,779
Yeah.
482
00:15:22,781 --> 00:15:23,880
How do you know this guy?
483
00:15:23,882 --> 00:15:25,549
He's Brian's brother.
484
00:15:25,551 --> 00:15:26,449
No shit?!
485
00:15:26,451 --> 00:15:27,450
Yeah.
486
00:15:27,452 --> 00:15:27,918
Yeah.
487
00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:30,553
You know what, I didn't realize you
guys ran in, like, celebrity circles.
488
00:15:30,555 --> 00:15:32,422
We're going to make
this work, work, okay?
489
00:15:32,424 --> 00:15:33,756
We'll split the
cleaning costs 50-50.
490
00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:34,189
We got a deal?
491
00:15:34,191 --> 00:15:35,190
All right, you got a deal.
492
00:15:35,192 --> 00:15:36,191
Great.
493
00:15:36,193 --> 00:15:38,760
All right, now we just got to
get Andre out of his apartment.
494
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,734
So this is it, our
first draft apart.
495
00:15:42,736 --> 00:15:45,703
This is your final Sacko
punishment-- you are banished.
496
00:15:45,705 --> 00:15:48,439
Fine. I'll take my punishment
like a man. I will.
497
00:15:48,441 --> 00:15:50,441
Jenny, please, tell
them it's not fair.
498
00:15:50,443 --> 00:15:52,376
Tell them they got to take me
back-- they listen to you.
499
00:15:52,378 --> 00:15:53,811
Suck it, dick cream.
500
00:15:53,813 --> 00:15:55,145
You don't like it, get better.
501
00:15:55,147 --> 00:15:56,646
All right, I'll leave.
502
00:15:56,648 --> 00:15:58,648
What was that?
Did someone... Nothing.
503
00:15:58,650 --> 00:15:59,649
No one said anything.
504
00:15:59,651 --> 00:16:01,384
The meter's running--
get in the car.
505
00:16:01,386 --> 00:16:03,886
Okay, all right.
506
00:16:08,793 --> 00:16:11,762
Your home for the 2011 draft!
507
00:16:11,764 --> 00:16:13,764
Are they really gonna
shoot a porn in here?
508
00:16:13,766 --> 00:16:16,467
Oh, yeah, and the best part is,
Andre is gonna be living in
509
00:16:16,469 --> 00:16:18,903
the post-porno fallout for
weeks without even knowing it.
510
00:16:18,905 --> 00:16:22,407
The only way that happens is if we all
agree to keep a secret-- can we do that?
511
00:16:22,409 --> 00:16:23,408
What?
512
00:16:23,410 --> 00:16:24,876
Yes, we can.
513
00:16:24,878 --> 00:16:26,411
Kevin, you can keep a secret.
514
00:16:26,413 --> 00:16:28,413
Secret!
515
00:16:28,415 --> 00:16:31,183
So, this is the station where
we'll do the entire draft.
516
00:16:31,185 --> 00:16:33,419
Everyone will come over and
make their own individual pick.
517
00:16:33,421 --> 00:16:39,259
So, I was thinking of talking to
Kevin about swapping draft picks.
518
00:16:39,261 --> 00:16:41,260
No. Look, we just have to find
some way to divide Kevin.
519
00:16:41,262 --> 00:16:43,263
You guys talking
about trading Kevin?
520
00:16:43,265 --> 00:16:44,264
BOTH: No.
521
00:16:44,266 --> 00:16:47,266
'Cause I've been doing the same
thing, but on a deeper level.
522
00:16:47,268 --> 00:16:48,267
What?
523
00:16:48,269 --> 00:16:50,270
Yeah, yeah, I got him high one
time, and I hypnotized him.
524
00:16:50,272 --> 00:16:51,271
No, you didn't.
525
00:16:51,273 --> 00:16:52,773
Yeah, I high-notized him.
526
00:16:52,775 --> 00:16:55,276
You can't high-notize
someone, Taco.
527
00:16:55,278 --> 00:16:57,978
What is this?!
528
00:16:57,980 --> 00:16:58,979
It's the Shiva ring!
529
00:16:58,981 --> 00:16:59,980
Yeah.
530
00:16:59,982 --> 00:17:00,981
I think I'm pretty cool.
531
00:17:00,983 --> 00:17:02,617
Hey, you know what
else is pretty cool?
532
00:17:02,619 --> 00:17:04,785
How you guys totally screwed
me on the draft order.
533
00:17:04,787 --> 00:17:05,786
Tell me exactly what happened.
534
00:17:05,788 --> 00:17:06,787
We didn't do anything.
535
00:17:06,789 --> 00:17:08,389
We just...
we picked, that was it.
536
00:17:08,391 --> 00:17:11,125
You don't do morally
bankrupt, while me, I swim
537
00:17:11,127 --> 00:17:13,928
around in it like Scrooge
McDuck in a pile of coins.
538
00:17:13,930 --> 00:17:17,705
But you, you're drowning in it.
539
00:17:17,825 --> 00:17:19,646
(imitates car
horn): Lies, lies.
540
00:17:22,713 --> 00:17:23,956
Very tricky, Pete.
541
00:17:23,958 --> 00:17:25,324
Very tricky.
542
00:17:25,326 --> 00:17:26,826
Oh! Hi, Andre.
543
00:17:26,828 --> 00:17:27,827
How's the restaurant?
544
00:17:27,829 --> 00:17:28,828
What's the catch?
545
00:17:28,830 --> 00:17:29,829
Andre, there's no catch.
546
00:17:29,831 --> 00:17:33,033
Oh, sure. You send me to the best restaurant
in Chicago, and you expect me just
547
00:17:33,035 --> 00:17:34,034
to draft here?
548
00:17:34,036 --> 00:17:35,035
Exactly.
549
00:17:35,037 --> 00:17:38,071
You know what? I know something's up,
and you're not gonna trick me, okay?
550
00:17:38,073 --> 00:17:38,705
Enjoy.
551
00:17:38,707 --> 00:17:41,574
'Cause when you dance with
the devil, you get-- hello?
552
00:17:41,576 --> 00:17:42,575
How's he doing?
553
00:17:42,577 --> 00:17:43,576
He's freaking out.
554
00:17:43,578 --> 00:17:47,146
Gentlemen, Taco, the draft
will begin in a minute, but
555
00:17:47,148 --> 00:17:49,949
before we do, I would like to
invite you all to the roof,
556
00:17:49,951 --> 00:17:55,053
where we will have a ceremony to
celebrate the wonderful reign of Ruxin.
557
00:17:55,055 --> 00:17:57,556
(goofy voice):
Won't you join me?
558
00:17:57,558 --> 00:17:58,557
No, I think I won't.
559
00:17:58,559 --> 00:17:59,558
I'm gonna go up.
560
00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:00,559
Don't do it.
561
00:18:00,561 --> 00:18:01,560
I-I can't live like this.
562
00:18:01,562 --> 00:18:03,562
It's one lie after
another after another.
563
00:18:03,564 --> 00:18:05,097
I just feel like I
have to get it out.
564
00:18:05,099 --> 00:18:07,099
We'll pick again and then
we'll draft, all right?
565
00:18:07,101 --> 00:18:08,934
No, no, Kevin, Kevin, wait!
566
00:18:08,936 --> 00:18:11,103
Kevin, no! No! Kevin! Kevin!
567
00:18:11,105 --> 00:18:12,337
Kevin?
568
00:18:12,339 --> 00:18:13,538
Kevin?
569
00:18:13,540 --> 00:18:14,539
No!
570
00:18:14,541 --> 00:18:15,540
Kevin!
571
00:18:15,542 --> 00:18:16,541
No. No.
572
00:18:16,543 --> 00:18:17,542
Ruxin!
573
00:18:17,544 --> 00:18:18,544
Welcome.
574
00:18:18,546 --> 00:18:21,513
Ruxin... Pumpernickel.
575
00:18:21,515 --> 00:18:22,514
High-notized!
576
00:18:22,516 --> 00:18:23,514
What the hell?
577
00:18:23,516 --> 00:18:24,549
He's a lightweight.
578
00:18:24,551 --> 00:18:25,550
Don't worry about him.
579
00:18:25,552 --> 00:18:26,551
We'll shave him later.
580
00:18:26,553 --> 00:18:29,687
Okay, well, he's about to miss
the most shocking draft ever.
581
00:18:29,689 --> 00:18:33,425
One of you will receive this rose as the
object of my affection-- oh, it's me!
582
00:18:33,427 --> 00:18:35,427
Come on, Chris Harrison,
let's do this.
583
00:18:35,429 --> 00:18:37,796
Okay, now, a few small rule
changes for the upcoming season.
584
00:18:37,798 --> 00:18:39,063
(phone vibrating)
585
00:18:39,065 --> 00:18:41,732
First, no calls to the
house after 10:00.
586
00:18:41,734 --> 00:18:42,733
No texts, either.
587
00:18:42,735 --> 00:18:45,036
I want to get 'em the next
morning, I'll check my e-mail.
588
00:18:45,038 --> 00:18:48,106
Second, if you get a haircut and
I don't say anything, it's
589
00:18:48,108 --> 00:18:50,408
'cause I think you got a shitty
haircut-- so just drop it.
590
00:18:50,410 --> 00:18:51,042
Taco!
591
00:18:51,044 --> 00:18:52,043
Hi, guys. Come in.
592
00:18:52,045 --> 00:18:53,043
How's it going?
593
00:18:53,045 --> 00:18:53,644
Good, good.
594
00:18:53,646 --> 00:18:54,645
Wow!
595
00:18:54,647 --> 00:18:55,646
Thanks for coming early.
596
00:18:55,648 --> 00:18:56,647
We have a lot of work to do.
597
00:18:56,649 --> 00:18:57,648
You have everything you need?
598
00:18:57,650 --> 00:19:01,818
Yeah. Donkey, slave P. A....
hot chick... That works.
599
00:19:01,820 --> 00:19:03,453
...hot chick... Oh, hello.
600
00:19:03,455 --> 00:19:04,720
...Dr. Andre No-Dick.
601
00:19:04,722 --> 00:19:06,055
Oh, this is perfect.
602
00:19:06,057 --> 00:19:07,056
Hey, hey, hey.
603
00:19:07,058 --> 00:19:08,057
We added a gap, right?
604
00:19:08,059 --> 00:19:10,059
Perfect.
We're gonna need a hat later.
605
00:19:10,061 --> 00:19:11,327
Go find the hat closet.
606
00:19:11,329 --> 00:19:13,629
Now, you guys know, I know
the Middle Eastern market.
607
00:19:13,631 --> 00:19:14,630
Without a doubt.
608
00:19:14,632 --> 00:19:15,631
We've come close.
609
00:19:15,633 --> 00:19:18,534
Yeah. Buddy of ours is on SEAL
Team Six, put a bullet in
610
00:19:18,536 --> 00:19:22,071
Bin Laden, rooting around his
place finds one of our pornos.
611
00:19:22,073 --> 00:19:23,072
In the hideout!
612
00:19:23,074 --> 00:19:24,073
Bin Laden had it, yeah.
613
00:19:24,075 --> 00:19:25,575
Yeah. Toe Bangers III.
614
00:19:25,577 --> 00:19:26,843
Which is a good one.
615
00:19:26,845 --> 00:19:27,845
No Toe Left Behind.
616
00:19:27,847 --> 00:19:29,614
That's huge publicity.
617
00:19:29,616 --> 00:19:32,116
Nope. Government won't
release any of the footage.
618
00:19:32,118 --> 00:19:33,117
None of the titles.
619
00:19:33,119 --> 00:19:35,921
All that publicity just essentially
wasted, flushed down
620
00:19:35,923 --> 00:19:37,088
the toilet!
621
00:19:37,090 --> 00:19:39,091
Don't invite me to
join LinkedIn.
622
00:19:39,093 --> 00:19:42,094
It just reeks of dudes
with cell phone holsters.
623
00:19:42,096 --> 00:19:42,694
Hey.
624
00:19:42,696 --> 00:19:43,695
What hap... Where am I?
625
00:19:43,697 --> 00:19:44,696
Nothing happened.
626
00:19:44,698 --> 00:19:45,330
You're fine.
627
00:19:45,332 --> 00:19:47,332
Do we all agree to
these changes?
628
00:19:47,334 --> 00:19:48,333
OTHERS: Yeah. Sure.
629
00:19:48,335 --> 00:19:48,967
Say "aye."
630
00:19:48,969 --> 00:19:50,502
OTHERS: Aye. I...'m bored.
631
00:19:50,504 --> 00:19:52,470
Okay. L...et's go draft!
632
00:19:52,472 --> 00:19:53,805
Thank you. God!
633
00:19:53,807 --> 00:19:56,874
Jesus Christ, it's about time.
634
00:19:56,876 --> 00:19:57,841
Open it.
635
00:19:57,843 --> 00:19:59,143
Uh, it's... it's locked.
636
00:19:59,145 --> 00:20:00,777
Last looks, final touches.
637
00:20:00,779 --> 00:20:01,778
We're ready?
638
00:20:01,780 --> 00:20:02,846
Lock it up!
639
00:20:02,848 --> 00:20:05,149
My Orgy at Andre's, take one.
640
00:20:05,151 --> 00:20:07,451
And... action.
641
00:20:07,453 --> 00:20:10,821
I'm so tired from such a long
day of terrible doctoring.
642
00:20:10,823 --> 00:20:14,124
Hello... Dr. No-Dick.
643
00:20:14,126 --> 00:20:16,961
What are you doing here in my...
metrosexual loft?
644
00:20:16,963 --> 00:20:17,962
Nice furniture, by the way.
645
00:20:17,964 --> 00:20:18,962
Thank you.
646
00:20:18,964 --> 00:20:21,565
I was overcharged by
a interior designer.
647
00:20:21,567 --> 00:20:23,400
I was waiting for you.
648
00:20:23,402 --> 00:20:24,834
Maybe I can fit you in.
649
00:20:24,836 --> 00:20:28,471
Maybe I can fit you in.
650
00:20:28,473 --> 00:20:29,639
Oh!
651
00:20:29,641 --> 00:20:30,640
Taco?
652
00:20:30,642 --> 00:20:31,174
Taco!
653
00:20:31,176 --> 00:20:34,644
Guys, we may want to get
downstairs, 'cause the computer
654
00:20:34,646 --> 00:20:36,812
starts drafting at 6:00
with or without us.
655
00:20:36,814 --> 00:20:37,413
What?!
656
00:20:37,415 --> 00:20:39,715
If we're not there, the
computer goes on auto-draft!
657
00:20:39,717 --> 00:20:40,716
Shit! Come on!
658
00:20:40,718 --> 00:20:41,717
The fire escape!
659
00:20:41,719 --> 00:20:43,185
Go to the fire escape!
660
00:20:43,187 --> 00:20:44,921
Time to start.
661
00:20:44,923 --> 00:20:46,823
Okay, here we go, boys.
662
00:20:46,825 --> 00:20:48,826
Okay, I'm moving
in, I'm moving in.
663
00:20:48,828 --> 00:20:49,827
You want a carrot?
664
00:20:49,829 --> 00:20:50,427
Yeah.
665
00:20:50,429 --> 00:20:52,430
Aren't craft services the best?
666
00:20:52,432 --> 00:20:53,898
(indistinct, excited chatter)
667
00:20:53,900 --> 00:20:54,899
No auto-draft!
668
00:20:54,901 --> 00:20:56,134
Now yell: "I have no dick."
669
00:20:56,136 --> 00:20:57,135
I have no dick.
670
00:20:57,137 --> 00:20:59,438
I don't feel a damn thing, Dr.
Dickless.
671
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:00,573
Oh, yeah!
672
00:21:00,575 --> 00:21:01,740
You're nailing this.
673
00:21:01,742 --> 00:21:03,942
You are nailing this!
674
00:21:03,944 --> 00:21:05,077
It's locked, too.
675
00:21:05,079 --> 00:21:06,078
Give it to her, No-Dick.
676
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:07,512
You guys, we're locked out.
677
00:21:07,514 --> 00:21:08,914
Look, the draft is starting!
678
00:21:08,916 --> 00:21:09,915
Let us in, you guys!
679
00:21:09,917 --> 00:21:10,916
This is not happening!
680
00:21:10,918 --> 00:21:12,917
We're locked out
of our own draft?
681
00:21:12,919 --> 00:21:14,018
It's so fast!
682
00:21:14,020 --> 00:21:16,153
It's like playing chess with
one of those guys in the park.
683
00:21:16,155 --> 00:21:17,154
It's so quick.
684
00:21:17,156 --> 00:21:18,155
Let us in!
685
00:21:18,157 --> 00:21:19,523
Hey! We're rolling.
686
00:21:19,525 --> 00:21:20,524
Shut your fat face-hole!
687
00:21:20,526 --> 00:21:21,525
Hey! Open the door!
688
00:21:21,527 --> 00:21:22,526
I can't.
689
00:21:22,528 --> 00:21:23,526
Raffi, what the hell?
690
00:21:23,528 --> 00:21:24,127
Come on!
691
00:21:24,129 --> 00:21:25,128
I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
692
00:21:25,130 --> 00:21:27,131
You guys are getting me in
trouble with Dirty Randy!
693
00:21:27,133 --> 00:21:28,132
He's really upset right now.
694
00:21:28,134 --> 00:21:29,400
We're shooting a porno!
695
00:21:29,402 --> 00:21:31,169
Yeah! (gasping, panting)
696
00:21:31,171 --> 00:21:32,637
My team sucks!
697
00:21:32,639 --> 00:21:33,639
Let us in!
698
00:21:33,641 --> 00:21:34,640
This is great!
699
00:21:34,642 --> 00:21:38,111
When did this become
an expert league?
700
00:21:38,113 --> 00:21:40,147
That's good, that's
good, that's good.
701
00:21:40,149 --> 00:21:42,583
Is Plaxico Burress
still in jail?
702
00:21:42,585 --> 00:21:43,584
Anyone know?
703
00:21:43,586 --> 00:21:45,586
Donald Driver? Too early!
704
00:21:45,588 --> 00:21:47,088
I get a kicker! Perfect!
705
00:21:47,090 --> 00:21:48,089
You have two kickers?
706
00:21:48,091 --> 00:21:49,090
I don't even have one!
707
00:21:49,092 --> 00:21:50,091
I knew it was kicker year.
708
00:21:50,093 --> 00:21:51,659
Raffi, how am I
doing on my shots?
709
00:21:51,661 --> 00:21:54,662
You need a reverse master, then you
need a close-up of his asshole.
710
00:21:54,664 --> 00:21:56,798
You know, I've been watching
football my whole life-- I dot
711
00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:58,066
even know who this person is.
712
00:21:58,068 --> 00:22:01,469
No! I wanted Mike Williams, Tampa Bay!
Tampa Bay!
713
00:22:01,471 --> 00:22:03,772
Great. And I did need another defense.
Thank you!
714
00:22:03,774 --> 00:22:04,773
The Browns' defense?
715
00:22:04,775 --> 00:22:05,774
I wanted that!
716
00:22:05,776 --> 00:22:07,409
Tell me what you
think about my hair.
717
00:22:07,411 --> 00:22:08,411
You have hair! It rocks!
718
00:22:08,413 --> 00:22:09,579
(grunting): Yeah!
719
00:22:09,581 --> 00:22:12,148
Oh! Oh!
720
00:22:12,150 --> 00:22:13,150
(others groaning)
721
00:22:13,152 --> 00:22:14,151
(yells)
722
00:22:14,153 --> 00:22:15,152
This is the orgy at Andre's!
723
00:22:15,154 --> 00:22:16,654
Get in there, girl!
724
00:22:16,656 --> 00:22:17,822
Let's do this!
725
00:22:17,824 --> 00:22:19,157
Ooh... lordy!
726
00:22:19,159 --> 00:22:24,362
Dr. Andre No-Dick is scrubbed in and
ready to perform his examination.
727
00:22:24,364 --> 00:22:26,664
Wait, wait, wait, Ruxin--
is that your ring?
728
00:22:26,666 --> 00:22:32,969
No... oh... No, don't...
(others shouting)
729
00:22:32,971 --> 00:22:34,171
Whoa!
730
00:22:34,173 --> 00:22:37,007
He's doing a lot more
than kissing that ring.
731
00:22:37,009 --> 00:22:39,009
That's what I call Shiva-lingus.
732
00:22:39,011 --> 00:22:40,644
Bang, bang, what's the hang?
733
00:22:40,646 --> 00:22:43,846
Oh, Shiva ring, forever unclean!
734
00:22:43,848 --> 00:22:45,849
Ew! What'd you eat, girl?
735
00:22:45,851 --> 00:22:47,850
This porn is
disgusting, you guys!
736
00:22:47,852 --> 00:22:49,118
Is this what you like?
737
00:22:49,120 --> 00:22:50,120
OTHERS: No!
738
00:22:50,122 --> 00:22:52,122
No.
739
00:22:52,242 --> 00:23:02,428
Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
740
00:23:02,478 --> 00:23:07,028
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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