Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,985 --> 00:00:03,095
Babe, I'm having week one issues.
2
00:00:04,625 --> 00:00:06,630
- Which tie?
- Left.
3
00:00:06,911 --> 00:00:09,742
Ricky Williams or Toby Gerhardt?
I am not sure. What do you think?
4
00:00:10,727 --> 00:00:13,101
I don't know. I am not in the league.
I have no opinion.
5
00:00:13,356 --> 00:00:16,141
Yet you have an opinion about ties and
you're not an Italian tie-maker.
6
00:00:16,922 --> 00:00:17,864
What?
7
00:00:18,357 --> 00:00:20,790
- Are you mad about the whole Vegas thing?
- No.
8
00:00:20,910 --> 00:00:21,915
No, I'm not mad at all.
9
00:00:22,035 --> 00:00:24,069
Well, then, help me out
with this decision, then.
10
00:00:24,137 --> 00:00:25,489
Okay, I'm a little mad.
11
00:00:25,609 --> 00:00:26,372
I knew it.
12
00:00:26,439 --> 00:00:27,406
See?
13
00:00:27,474 --> 00:00:29,408
You're making a big
deal out of this thing.
14
00:00:29,476 --> 00:00:30,376
(Kevin grunts)
15
00:00:30,443 --> 00:00:31,076
Whoa, what are you doing?
16
00:00:31,144 --> 00:00:33,012
What does it look like I'm doing?
17
00:00:33,079 --> 00:00:35,948
I-I do not, I don't know what...
This is intimacy, sweetheart.
18
00:00:36,016 --> 00:00:37,383
This is what you signed on for.
19
00:00:37,450 --> 00:00:39,385
This is not intimacy, okay?
20
00:00:39,452 --> 00:00:40,652
Intimacy is spooning.
21
00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:42,921
This is like watching
the Nature Channel.
22
00:00:42,989 --> 00:00:44,656
I thought we were comfortable
with our bodies.
23
00:00:44,724 --> 00:00:47,459
I am incredibly
uncomfortable right now.
24
00:00:47,527 --> 00:00:50,095
Can you at least toss me the cordless?
25
00:00:50,096 --> 00:00:53,713
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
26
00:00:53,833 --> 00:00:56,201
I don't think what I did was
wrong; I feel like it was fine.
27
00:00:56,269 --> 00:00:57,202
RUXIN: You're a vile animal.
28
00:00:57,270 --> 00:01:00,039
No, look, she's the person I've chosen
to spend the rest of my life with.
29
00:01:00,106 --> 00:01:02,508
I should be allowed to be comfortable
being myself around her.
30
00:01:02,575 --> 00:01:04,410
PETE: Isn't there such a
thing as too much sharing?
31
00:01:04,477 --> 00:01:06,111
Yeah, you want to talk
about too much sharing?
32
00:01:06,179 --> 00:01:07,679
She pulled me into the labor room.
33
00:01:07,747 --> 00:01:09,496
So this is payback for the placenta.
34
00:01:09,616 --> 00:01:11,633
- Payback for the placenta, right.
- Placenta is beautiful.
35
00:01:11,753 --> 00:01:14,250
It literally is the circle of life.
36
00:01:14,370 --> 00:01:16,273
It looks like a Hefty bag
that washed up on the shore.
37
00:01:16,393 --> 00:01:19,328
And by the way, after Vegas, you
were already in the doghouse
38
00:01:19,396 --> 00:01:21,931
with Jenny, so you really have
to show some sort of effort.
39
00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:23,800
I don't understand
what "effort" means.
40
00:01:23,867 --> 00:01:25,885
You got to keep it spontaneous,
41
00:01:26,005 --> 00:01:30,295
so that's why every 2.6 months,
I make a grand gesture.
42
00:01:30,415 --> 00:01:32,108
You know, the rest of
the year I coast by.
43
00:01:32,176 --> 00:01:34,844
It's like how studios release
these big blockbuster movies and
44
00:01:34,912 --> 00:01:38,548
then the rest of the year, they just
sort of fart out Katherine Heigl dreck.
45
00:01:38,615 --> 00:01:41,150
Like, I'm gonna take Sofia this
weekend and I'm gonna give her a
46
00:01:41,218 --> 00:01:43,853
Terrific Lady Day...
A Terrific Lady Day?
47
00:01:43,921 --> 00:01:47,590
You do whatever they want and you got
to look interested the whole day.
48
00:01:47,658 --> 00:01:48,591
"What's that?
49
00:01:48,659 --> 00:01:51,394
Heirloom tomatoes are different
from regular tomatoes?
50
00:01:51,462 --> 00:01:52,361
Amazing."
51
00:01:52,429 --> 00:01:54,864
And at the end of that day, we
will adjourn to our bedroom and
52
00:01:54,932 --> 00:01:56,532
we will culminate with
me entering my wife.
53
00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:57,366
(all groaning)
54
00:01:57,434 --> 00:01:58,367
Enough.
55
00:01:58,435 --> 00:01:59,202
No, no, no.
56
00:01:59,269 --> 00:02:01,137
We don't want to hear about it.
57
00:02:01,205 --> 00:02:01,971
Are you kidding me?
58
00:02:02,039 --> 00:02:05,241
When we were dating, all you wanted
to hear was sex details about Sofia.
59
00:02:05,309 --> 00:02:08,578
Yeah, but you're married now and we're
literally as bored with it as you are.
60
00:02:08,645 --> 00:02:10,580
It's like second-generation
stale to us.
61
00:02:10,647 --> 00:02:11,481
But he does have a point.
62
00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:14,851
You need to find that little thing that says...
I got to put in some effort.
63
00:02:14,918 --> 00:02:16,853
Oh, Raffi's coming by for a drink.
64
00:02:16,920 --> 00:02:17,553
You invited him here?
65
00:02:17,621 --> 00:02:18,554
Why?
66
00:02:18,622 --> 00:02:19,589
'Cause he's in the league.
67
00:02:19,656 --> 00:02:20,423
He's our friend.
68
00:02:20,491 --> 00:02:21,390
You know we hate him, right?
69
00:02:21,458 --> 00:02:22,225
You realize that?
70
00:02:22,292 --> 00:02:23,059
We call him El Cunado.
71
00:02:23,126 --> 00:02:23,893
He's vile.
72
00:02:23,961 --> 00:02:26,863
By the way, "El Cunado" just
means "brother-in-law" in Spanish.
73
00:02:26,930 --> 00:02:27,864
I know what you're trying to do.
74
00:02:27,931 --> 00:02:29,866
You're trying to make it sound dirty.
75
00:02:29,933 --> 00:02:31,400
No, it does sound dirty.
76
00:02:31,468 --> 00:02:33,236
El Cunado.
77
00:02:33,303 --> 00:02:34,403
Cunado.
78
00:02:34,471 --> 00:02:37,006
When did you become such
a fan of El Cunado?
79
00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:39,575
You used to rip on him
constantly, and then all of a
80
00:02:39,643 --> 00:02:41,410
sudden you marry his sister and
he's your best friend now?
81
00:02:41,478 --> 00:02:44,080
You used to call him, like, a
homeless, ethnic Santa Claus.
82
00:02:44,147 --> 00:02:47,917
It happened to be around
Christmastime, and he was
83
00:02:47,985 --> 00:02:50,186
carrying a big bag of things.
84
00:02:50,254 --> 00:02:54,790
Guys, uh, over here at 2:00,
there's this chick I work with.
85
00:02:56,026 --> 00:02:59,195
We're up for the same case, it's
a big thing, and, uh, she's
86
00:02:59,263 --> 00:03:00,696
one of those Goody Two-Shoes.
87
00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:04,300
She's a team player, she
uses words like "synergy."
88
00:03:04,368 --> 00:03:06,335
She's, she's kissing Taco.
89
00:03:06,403 --> 00:03:08,905
What the (bleep) is going on?
90
00:03:08,972 --> 00:03:11,474
Oh, my God, this is perfect.
91
00:03:11,542 --> 00:03:12,475
TACO: How's it going?
92
00:03:12,543 --> 00:03:13,309
Hey, guys.
93
00:03:13,377 --> 00:03:14,310
Hey.
94
00:03:14,378 --> 00:03:15,311
Hi.
95
00:03:15,379 --> 00:03:16,312
Hi.
96
00:03:16,380 --> 00:03:18,381
Um, just so you know, in your
inbox, there is a corrected
97
00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:21,050
version of your motion for The State v.
Kinley.
98
00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:22,184
Also, check your inbox.
99
00:03:22,252 --> 00:03:23,219
I sent you a message.
100
00:03:23,287 --> 00:03:25,117
My neighbor's cat's still
making that noise.
101
00:03:25,237 --> 00:03:27,832
Oh, these are some of Kevin's friends.
102
00:03:27,952 --> 00:03:29,926
They're in a fantasy football
league together.
103
00:03:30,046 --> 00:03:32,514
It's a tad childish, but
hey, they enjoy it.
104
00:03:32,582 --> 00:03:33,448
I won it.
105
00:03:33,516 --> 00:03:34,349
Oh, good for you.
106
00:03:34,417 --> 00:03:36,652
Yeah, you know you're in
it, too, Taco, right?
107
00:03:36,719 --> 00:03:38,120
Yeah, just to humor them.
108
00:03:38,187 --> 00:03:39,154
That's so thoughtful of you.
109
00:03:39,222 --> 00:03:39,988
(phone rings)
110
00:03:40,056 --> 00:03:40,889
Oh, you know what?
111
00:03:40,957 --> 00:03:42,024
I'm gonna have to take this.
112
00:03:42,091 --> 00:03:43,492
Yeah.
113
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:44,526
I may be right back.
114
00:03:44,594 --> 00:03:45,956
(both sigh)
115
00:03:47,063 --> 00:03:48,897
Probably O'Connor... he's
a ballbuster, that guy.
116
00:03:48,965 --> 00:03:50,632
Yeah, O'Connor is my
boss, too, Taco.
117
00:03:50,700 --> 00:03:52,634
What the hell's he
doing calling her?
118
00:03:52,702 --> 00:03:53,468
I don't know, man.
119
00:03:53,536 --> 00:03:54,903
I'm off the clock.
120
00:03:54,971 --> 00:03:56,905
You don't have a clock, Taco.
121
00:03:56,973 --> 00:03:58,106
Yeah, I do, in my kitchen.
122
00:03:58,174 --> 00:03:58,941
It makes animal noises.
123
00:03:59,008 --> 00:03:59,942
Oh.
124
00:04:00,009 --> 00:04:01,910
Okay, I am turning this off.
125
00:04:01,978 --> 00:04:02,878
All right.
126
00:04:02,946 --> 00:04:04,980
And I am officially yours.
127
00:04:05,048 --> 00:04:05,981
Okay.
128
00:04:06,049 --> 00:04:07,182
(both moaning)
129
00:04:07,250 --> 00:04:09,212
God, you smell good.
130
00:04:10,005 --> 00:04:10,886
Babe.
131
00:04:10,954 --> 00:04:11,887
Hey.
132
00:04:11,955 --> 00:04:14,122
How much do you love
this guy, huh?
133
00:04:14,190 --> 00:04:15,123
What did you do?
134
00:04:15,191 --> 00:04:16,091
I made a plan.
135
00:04:16,159 --> 00:04:18,927
You know that O'Connor fund- raiser
I have downtown this weekend?
136
00:04:18,995 --> 00:04:19,928
Yeah.
137
00:04:19,996 --> 00:04:22,864
I'm gonna make a whole adult
weekend out of the thing.
138
00:04:22,932 --> 00:04:24,967
We're gonna get a hotel, we're
gonna go out to dinner.
139
00:04:25,034 --> 00:04:26,301
It's gonna be awesome.
140
00:04:26,369 --> 00:04:27,302
A real grown-up date?
141
00:04:27,370 --> 00:04:29,605
Yes, we are going to get dressed
up, we're going to drink
142
00:04:29,672 --> 00:04:31,273
urbane $17 martinis.
143
00:04:31,341 --> 00:04:32,307
I might even talk politics.
144
00:04:32,375 --> 00:04:34,242
Ooh, I love when you
talk politics.
145
00:04:34,310 --> 00:04:36,144
Yeah, a little urban
housing development.
146
00:04:36,212 --> 00:04:37,145
Oh.
147
00:04:37,213 --> 00:04:38,246
Little financial crisis.
148
00:04:38,314 --> 00:04:39,247
Oh, come on.
149
00:04:39,315 --> 00:04:40,082
Little Ben Bernanke.
150
00:04:40,149 --> 00:04:40,916
Ben Bernanke.
151
00:04:40,984 --> 00:04:41,883
Yeah, how's that sound?
152
00:04:41,951 --> 00:04:42,651
Say it again.
153
00:04:42,719 --> 00:04:43,485
So you in?
154
00:04:43,553 --> 00:04:44,319
So in.
155
00:04:44,387 --> 00:04:45,320
Good.
156
00:04:45,388 --> 00:04:46,488
Yeah.
157
00:04:50,005 --> 00:04:50,938
You guys ready for week one?
158
00:04:51,006 --> 00:04:51,939
Yeah.
159
00:04:52,007 --> 00:04:52,774
Week one.
160
00:04:52,841 --> 00:04:53,775
I'm very excited.
161
00:04:53,842 --> 00:04:57,111
And I really see some good
matchups this weekend, huh?
162
00:04:57,179 --> 00:05:01,316
The unblinking eye of Sauron has
Grima Wormtongue in his sights.
163
00:05:01,383 --> 00:05:03,685
It's amazing how pointless and
terrible your analogies are.
164
00:05:03,752 --> 00:05:06,487
I can't believe I'm actually rooting
for Ruxin to win here, but I really...
165
00:05:06,555 --> 00:05:08,156
Raffi in the house!
166
00:05:08,223 --> 00:05:10,792
What's up, my boys?
167
00:05:10,859 --> 00:05:12,694
Hey, it's Raffi.
168
00:05:12,761 --> 00:05:13,695
How's it going, bros?
169
00:05:13,762 --> 00:05:15,496
Raffi bringing the heat right away.
170
00:05:15,564 --> 00:05:16,698
Oh, man.
171
00:05:16,765 --> 00:05:17,699
Funny.
172
00:05:17,766 --> 00:05:19,133
What are we talking about?
173
00:05:19,201 --> 00:05:21,703
Talking about, uh,
football... week one.
174
00:05:21,770 --> 00:05:24,238
Oh, man, I am killing it in
my fantasy football league.
175
00:05:24,306 --> 00:05:27,175
We didn't even st... this is week one
of the fantasy football league.
176
00:05:27,242 --> 00:05:29,077
No, no, no, real football,
like in England.
177
00:05:29,144 --> 00:05:30,311
You mean fútbol?
178
00:05:30,379 --> 00:05:31,312
Yeah.
179
00:05:31,380 --> 00:05:32,313
Soccer?
180
00:05:32,381 --> 00:05:36,117
No, sorry, that's, that's what,
that's what assholes call it.
181
00:05:36,185 --> 00:05:37,118
Sorry.
182
00:05:37,186 --> 00:05:40,488
Ah, the shit-talking has already
started between week one
183
00:05:40,556 --> 00:05:44,144
adversaries Raffi and Kevin..
184
00:05:44,264 --> 00:05:47,194
Raffi, what are you... Oh, my God.
That's yours now.
185
00:05:47,314 --> 00:05:48,582
I'm in your head, bro.
186
00:05:48,702 --> 00:05:50,939
Get ready, 'cause I
am coming for you.
187
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:54,624
Prepare yourself, because I am
literally going to sodomize you
188
00:05:54,744 --> 00:05:55,507
on the battlefield.
189
00:05:55,491 --> 00:05:58,060
I'm going to have nonconsensual
sex with your face and butt.
190
00:05:58,127 --> 00:05:58,860
All right.
191
00:05:58,928 --> 00:06:00,696
And then I'm coming for
your wife and your kids.
192
00:06:00,763 --> 00:06:02,064
Hey, Raffi.
193
00:06:02,131 --> 00:06:04,633
I'm just kidding, man,
just busting balls.
194
00:06:04,701 --> 00:06:05,634
Jukebox.
195
00:06:05,702 --> 00:06:06,635
I'm gonna put seven dollars'
196
00:06:06,703 --> 00:06:10,439
worth of Hoobastank in it, and I'm
coming back to hang with you bros.
197
00:06:10,506 --> 00:06:11,640
He's so funny, man.
198
00:06:11,952 --> 00:06:15,877
You know, within 48 seconds, he
sucked all the fun out of the room.
199
00:06:15,997 --> 00:06:16,904
He's a fun vacuum.
200
00:06:16,882 --> 00:06:18,015
You guys, he's the new guy.
201
00:06:18,083 --> 00:06:19,817
You just... you razz him a
little, but you take advantage
202
00:06:19,885 --> 00:06:20,651
of him in trades.
203
00:06:20,719 --> 00:06:22,486
He's more worthless than
the black Thompson Twin.
204
00:06:22,554 --> 00:06:24,422
You know, I can't tell if
that's more dated or more
205
00:06:24,489 --> 00:06:25,523
racist. Any thoughts?
206
00:06:25,590 --> 00:06:26,991
That might be racist.
207
00:06:27,059 --> 00:06:28,426
I think it's more dated.
208
00:06:28,493 --> 00:06:30,027
Either way, you're
right, though.
209
00:06:30,095 --> 00:06:31,529
Oh... we're out of beer, bro.
210
00:06:31,596 --> 00:06:32,463
You should get us another round.
211
00:06:32,531 --> 00:06:33,431
Oh, God, I'm out of here.
212
00:06:33,498 --> 00:06:36,033
What are we doing this weekend?
Wait a minute.
213
00:06:36,101 --> 00:06:36,867
I got plans, man, sorry.
214
00:06:36,935 --> 00:06:37,701
Come on.
215
00:06:37,769 --> 00:06:41,672
I got plans, too, but these two
single gentlemen are going
216
00:06:41,740 --> 00:06:44,041
to a party and they are trying
to put together a posse.
217
00:06:44,109 --> 00:06:45,042
Yeah.
218
00:06:45,110 --> 00:06:46,043
What?
219
00:06:46,111 --> 00:06:48,446
(laughing): Later, guys.
220
00:06:48,513 --> 00:06:50,214
Oh, shit, you guys
are crewing up?
221
00:06:50,282 --> 00:06:51,248
Let's do this.
222
00:06:51,316 --> 00:06:53,451
I don't even know if this
party is happening.
223
00:06:53,518 --> 00:06:55,019
I think the party is
happening tomorrow night.
224
00:06:55,087 --> 00:06:55,853
Sweet, yeah.
225
00:06:55,921 --> 00:06:57,588
You should come with
us, and you know why?
226
00:06:57,656 --> 00:06:59,523
We have a tradition
in the league.
227
00:06:59,591 --> 00:07:01,459
It's a rule that we take turns...
228
00:07:01,526 --> 00:07:02,493
Oh, on the same girl?
229
00:07:02,561 --> 00:07:05,463
Well, no, we take turns as
designated drivers, so since
230
00:07:05,530 --> 00:07:08,065
you're new to the league...
You are going to be the
231
00:07:08,133 --> 00:07:09,033
designated driver.
232
00:07:09,101 --> 00:07:10,034
Awesome.
233
00:07:10,102 --> 00:07:10,935
Pick us up at 8:00.
234
00:07:11,002 --> 00:07:11,869
Oh, I don't have a car.
235
00:07:11,937 --> 00:07:13,871
That's fine, you can
just use Andre's.
236
00:07:13,939 --> 00:07:16,173
Oh, no, I mean...
Perfect, done.
237
00:07:16,241 --> 00:07:17,174
Thank you.
238
00:07:17,242 --> 00:07:19,543
Cheers.
239
00:07:21,677 --> 00:07:24,146
(indistinct chatter)
240
00:07:26,094 --> 00:07:28,463
Thank you for my
grown-up weekend.
241
00:07:28,530 --> 00:07:29,197
You look beautiful.
242
00:07:29,264 --> 00:07:29,864
Thank you.
243
00:07:29,932 --> 00:07:30,832
Do you like my earrings?
244
00:07:30,899 --> 00:07:31,466
I do.
245
00:07:31,533 --> 00:07:34,101
When I dropped off Ellie, my mom
just handed them over to me.
246
00:07:34,169 --> 00:07:34,936
They were Grandma's.
247
00:07:35,003 --> 00:07:36,838
That's an unbelievable
trade-off.
248
00:07:36,905 --> 00:07:37,839
I know.
249
00:07:37,906 --> 00:07:40,608
Let's go overpay
for some drinks.
250
00:07:40,676 --> 00:07:42,243
Ah, good evening, gentlemen.
251
00:07:42,311 --> 00:07:43,311
Hi.
252
00:07:43,378 --> 00:07:44,278
Hello, Taco.
253
00:07:44,346 --> 00:07:45,313
Taco, look at you.
254
00:07:45,380 --> 00:07:46,848
Yeah, in Uncle Frank's suit.
255
00:07:46,915 --> 00:07:49,050
Yeah. Gave me the suits when
he became handicapped.
256
00:07:49,117 --> 00:07:49,917
Did he? Hey.
257
00:07:49,985 --> 00:07:50,618
There you are.
258
00:07:50,686 --> 00:07:52,253
I was wondering where
you were hiding.
259
00:07:52,321 --> 00:07:52,920
Hi, sweetheart.
260
00:07:52,988 --> 00:07:53,654
Hi, Lily.
261
00:07:53,722 --> 00:07:54,422
Hi.
262
00:07:54,490 --> 00:07:55,323
This is my wife, Jenny.
263
00:07:55,390 --> 00:07:57,107
Hi. And you are dating Taco?
264
00:07:57,227 --> 00:07:57,881
Yes.
265
00:07:58,001 --> 00:07:59,647
He's my hot date for tonight.
266
00:07:58,927 --> 00:07:59,861
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
267
00:07:59,928 --> 00:08:02,109
- Oh, that's great.
- Yeah, good for you, guys.
268
00:08:05,781 --> 00:08:07,593
We're not gonna let this ruin
our grown-up weekend, babe...
269
00:08:07,713 --> 00:08:09,474
No. Not.
270
00:08:09,594 --> 00:08:10,932
We should go upstairs
to our hotel room.
271
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,534
What are you gonna
go upstairs for?
272
00:08:12,602 --> 00:08:15,837
I mean, let's go upstairs
to our hotel room.
273
00:08:15,905 --> 00:08:17,939
I can't... I have
O'Connor's speech.
274
00:08:18,007 --> 00:08:20,409
I think you're just gonna
have to be quick.
275
00:08:20,476 --> 00:08:21,143
I can do that.
276
00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:22,173
- I know.
- All right, let's go.
277
00:08:24,113 --> 00:08:26,148
That car drives like
garbage, am I right?
278
00:08:26,215 --> 00:08:28,016
No, it doesn't drive
like garbage.
279
00:08:28,084 --> 00:08:29,484
It's a brand-new Porsche
Cayenne, okay?
280
00:08:29,552 --> 00:08:30,619
You don't know how to drive it.
281
00:08:30,686 --> 00:08:31,653
You're pressing all the buttons.
282
00:08:31,721 --> 00:08:32,487
It's not a video game.
283
00:08:32,555 --> 00:08:33,555
I thought he did a fine job.
284
00:08:33,623 --> 00:08:34,156
Thank you.
285
00:08:34,223 --> 00:08:35,857
In fact, you should do
this all the time for us.
286
00:08:35,925 --> 00:08:37,426
He's not doing it all
the time, all right?
287
00:08:37,493 --> 00:08:39,461
I just want to go find this
girl, just... I'll be back.
288
00:08:39,529 --> 00:08:40,429
Wait, wait, wait, hang on.
289
00:08:40,496 --> 00:08:41,797
If we get separated,
I need to call you.
290
00:08:41,864 --> 00:08:42,631
It's a house party.
291
00:08:42,698 --> 00:08:44,032
We're not going to
get separated.
292
00:08:44,100 --> 00:08:44,868
I don't know where
you're going to go.
293
00:08:44,904 --> 00:08:46,568
Maybe you're off, like,
finger blasting somebody.
294
00:08:46,688 --> 00:08:48,074
Andre...
Finger blaster.
295
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:49,438
I'll put it in myself.
296
00:08:49,505 --> 00:08:50,172
Dude, give me your e-mail.
297
00:08:50,239 --> 00:08:51,073
Do you like funny videos?
298
00:08:51,140 --> 00:08:51,873
No.
299
00:08:51,941 --> 00:08:53,475
He loves funny videos.
300
00:08:53,543 --> 00:08:56,078
Dude, seriously, I have such
funny videos to send you.
301
00:08:56,145 --> 00:08:56,912
Holy shit.
302
00:08:56,979 --> 00:08:57,479
Great.
303
00:08:57,547 --> 00:08:59,481
One of them's a pig having
sex with a monkey.
304
00:08:59,549 --> 00:09:00,248
The monkey freaks out.
305
00:09:00,316 --> 00:09:01,450
Excuse me, where you going?
306
00:09:01,517 --> 00:09:03,485
I'm going to find
my friend... Molly.
307
00:09:03,553 --> 00:09:04,586
So, enjoy yourselves.
308
00:09:04,654 --> 00:09:07,556
Um, well, nice to
see you again.
309
00:09:07,623 --> 00:09:08,757
Uh, what you got here?
310
00:09:08,825 --> 00:09:09,591
Hmm?
311
00:09:10,797 --> 00:09:11,933
Whoa, that's really strong.
312
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,935
Super strong, so I only
have to drink a little.
313
00:09:14,002 --> 00:09:15,002
'Cause, you know, I'm driving.
314
00:09:15,070 --> 00:09:17,238
I think you're not supposed to
be drinking anything, 'cause
315
00:09:17,306 --> 00:09:18,205
you're driving, right?
316
00:09:18,273 --> 00:09:19,373
I'm the designated driver.
317
00:09:19,441 --> 00:09:21,676
When you need somebody
to drive, I do it.
318
00:09:21,743 --> 00:09:23,911
But there's an implied value
that you might be sober.
319
00:09:23,979 --> 00:09:26,380
Well, I will be... like 30
minutes before we're going to
320
00:09:26,448 --> 00:09:29,350
leave, you give me the heads up,
I'll go to the bathroom, I'll
321
00:09:29,418 --> 00:09:33,287
crap the booze out, have
a mint, good to go.
322
00:09:33,355 --> 00:09:34,188
Crap and a mint?
323
00:09:34,256 --> 00:09:35,222
Crap the booze out.
324
00:09:35,290 --> 00:09:36,123
It works?
325
00:09:36,191 --> 00:09:39,393
Sort of, yeah.
326
00:09:39,461 --> 00:09:40,628
Voila.
327
00:09:40,696 --> 00:09:42,163
Oh, my God.
328
00:09:42,230 --> 00:09:44,298
I love Terrific Lady Day.
329
00:09:44,366 --> 00:09:46,467
Yeah, you should, but you know
what you're going to love
330
00:09:46,535 --> 00:09:47,068
even more?
331
00:09:47,135 --> 00:09:47,969
Terrific Lady Night.
332
00:09:48,036 --> 00:09:48,936
Ooh.
333
00:09:49,004 --> 00:09:50,037
You were really good today.
334
00:09:50,105 --> 00:09:52,373
You didn't complain once at the
farmer's market, and you held my
335
00:09:52,441 --> 00:09:53,007
hand.
336
00:09:53,075 --> 00:09:55,076
Mm-hmm. Who else is going to
hold your hand when you're
337
00:09:55,143 --> 00:09:56,978
looking at organic
squash for 20 minutes?
338
00:09:57,045 --> 00:09:58,679
And the best part is...
Mm-hmm?
339
00:09:58,747 --> 00:10:00,514
...you didn't mention
football once.
340
00:10:00,582 --> 00:10:03,417
Well, there are no games on
Saturday in the NFL, that are
341
00:10:03,485 --> 00:10:05,219
more important than you.
342
00:10:05,287 --> 00:10:07,655
And I also want to
say, thank you.
343
00:10:07,723 --> 00:10:08,522
For what?
344
00:10:08,590 --> 00:10:10,224
For taking my brother
into the league.
345
00:10:10,292 --> 00:10:11,726
We love him.
346
00:10:11,793 --> 00:10:12,393
I loathe him.
347
00:10:12,461 --> 00:10:13,961
I loathe the El Cunado.
348
00:10:14,029 --> 00:10:15,162
He's awful.
349
00:10:15,230 --> 00:10:17,430
Like, it's almost like a joke.
350
00:10:17,810 --> 00:10:18,977
- It is a joke.
- I know what you mean.
351
00:10:19,990 --> 00:10:23,492
This party is awesome.
What is this?
352
00:10:23,612 --> 00:10:24,885
That's my drink.
353
00:10:25,005 --> 00:10:27,937
Mm, El Cunado like.
354
00:10:28,057 --> 00:10:29,443
All right, I'll check you guys later.
355
00:10:29,511 --> 00:10:30,077
Dick punch!
356
00:10:30,145 --> 00:10:30,611
Oh.
357
00:10:30,679 --> 00:10:32,446
Let's all get the same
girl pregnant tonight.
358
00:10:32,514 --> 00:10:33,347
Did you see that?
359
00:10:33,415 --> 00:10:35,016
He embraces the El
Cunado nickname.
360
00:10:35,083 --> 00:10:37,451
It's like we're throwing
feces at him and he's just
361
00:10:37,519 --> 00:10:38,452
playing with it.
362
00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:39,620
It's horrible.
363
00:10:39,688 --> 00:10:41,555
The worst thing that's
ever happened to us.
364
00:10:41,623 --> 00:10:42,790
This is our 9-11.
365
00:10:44,161 --> 00:10:45,226
Oh, my God.
366
00:10:45,293 --> 00:10:46,994
That's the girl.
367
00:10:47,062 --> 00:10:47,995
That's Molly.
368
00:10:48,063 --> 00:10:48,629
It's no big deal.
369
00:10:48,697 --> 00:10:50,431
It's just like a brand-new
Porsche Cayenne.
370
00:10:50,499 --> 00:10:50,998
Porsche?
371
00:10:51,066 --> 00:10:51,532
Yeah.
372
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:52,600
Oh, my God, what color is it?
373
00:10:52,668 --> 00:10:56,270
Green, like the color of money...
and the color of your eyes.
374
00:10:56,338 --> 00:10:58,773
She seems to have taken a shine
to the gaucho stylings of
375
00:10:58,840 --> 00:10:59,740
El Cunado.
376
00:10:59,808 --> 00:11:02,009
Okay, you know what, this
isn't funny anymore.
377
00:11:02,077 --> 00:11:03,711
Fix this. It's your fault.
378
00:11:03,779 --> 00:11:05,012
Get rid of him. Right now.
379
00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:05,780
I don't care how.
380
00:11:05,847 --> 00:11:06,747
I got it, I got it.
381
00:11:06,815 --> 00:11:08,315
I'm going to do to him
what I do to you.
382
00:11:08,383 --> 00:11:09,016
What's that?
383
00:11:09,084 --> 00:11:10,718
Don't worry about it,
I'll take care of it.
384
00:11:10,786 --> 00:11:12,653
I don't know what your deal is,
but I found these pills in
385
00:11:12,721 --> 00:11:13,454
the medicine cabinet.
386
00:11:13,522 --> 00:11:16,290
Hi. Um, would you excuse us
for just a second, please?
387
00:11:16,358 --> 00:11:17,825
Okay, but I'll see you later?
388
00:11:17,893 --> 00:11:19,660
All right, I'll talk to
you later, Blondie.
389
00:11:19,728 --> 00:11:20,628
(chuckles)
390
00:11:20,696 --> 00:11:22,096
Dude, how hot is that?
391
00:11:22,164 --> 00:11:23,030
Very well done.
392
00:11:23,098 --> 00:11:25,800
Look, there's another situation
developing we need to talk about.
393
00:11:25,867 --> 00:11:27,735
Do you see... see that
guy over there?
394
00:11:27,803 --> 00:11:28,502
Yeah.
395
00:11:28,570 --> 00:11:31,038
Dude, that's Matt Forte... running
back from the Chicago Bears.
396
00:11:31,106 --> 00:11:31,672
The redhead?
397
00:11:31,740 --> 00:11:32,273
No, no, no.
398
00:11:32,340 --> 00:11:34,308
Yeah, it's the other
guy... the black one.
399
00:11:34,376 --> 00:11:35,276
He is shit-faced.
400
00:11:35,343 --> 00:11:36,177
Look at him.
401
00:11:36,244 --> 00:11:37,311
Hold on a second.
402
00:11:37,379 --> 00:11:38,579
Isn't he on your team?
403
00:11:38,647 --> 00:11:40,047
Oh, yeah, he is.
404
00:11:40,115 --> 00:11:41,048
Yeah, whoa.
405
00:11:41,116 --> 00:11:42,249
Oh, that's not cool.
406
00:11:42,317 --> 00:11:44,318
Yeah, and they're playing the
Lions at home tomorrow, man.
407
00:11:44,386 --> 00:11:45,619
He's going to be useless.
408
00:11:45,687 --> 00:11:46,654
What do I do?
409
00:11:46,722 --> 00:11:48,522
Man, I think you know
what you got to do.
410
00:11:48,590 --> 00:11:50,191
You think I should kill him?
411
00:11:50,258 --> 00:11:53,694
No, I was thinking, you
know, you could trade him.
412
00:11:53,762 --> 00:11:55,429
Maybe that's the better
choice, you know.
413
00:11:55,497 --> 00:11:56,130
Okay, okay.
414
00:11:56,198 --> 00:11:56,864
Such a better choice.
415
00:11:56,932 --> 00:11:57,865
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
416
00:11:57,933 --> 00:11:59,767
Okay, good, all right...
But the lineups lock in,
417
00:11:59,835 --> 00:12:00,668
like, 20 minutes.
418
00:12:00,736 --> 00:12:01,669
So you got to get a move on.
419
00:12:01,737 --> 00:12:03,838
Shit. Okay, got to just get out
of here, go to an Internet
420
00:12:03,905 --> 00:12:05,072
cafe, make the trade.
421
00:12:05,140 --> 00:12:06,140
Get it done, man.
422
00:12:06,208 --> 00:12:08,142
Hey, man, that stuff I said about
killing him, please don't
423
00:12:08,210 --> 00:12:09,376
tell anybody I said that.
424
00:12:09,444 --> 00:12:11,078
Especially if he ends up dead.
425
00:12:11,146 --> 00:12:12,847
Awesome. Thanks so much.
426
00:12:12,914 --> 00:12:14,081
You're welcome.
427
00:12:14,149 --> 00:12:16,717
Hey, Blondie, want
to drive a Porsche?
428
00:12:16,785 --> 00:12:17,818
Oops.
429
00:12:17,886 --> 00:12:19,086
So, what happened?
430
00:12:19,154 --> 00:12:20,688
Uh, basically a success.
431
00:12:20,756 --> 00:12:24,358
A couple of minor casualties...
your car and your girl.
432
00:12:24,426 --> 00:12:26,360
But otherwise, he's gone.
433
00:12:26,428 --> 00:12:27,094
It's good.
434
00:12:27,162 --> 00:12:28,863
Son of a bitch!
435
00:12:28,930 --> 00:12:31,699
Andre... so difficult to please.
436
00:12:31,767 --> 00:12:33,200
Go, go, go, go!
437
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:35,420
No, no, no. Come back.
438
00:12:35,786 --> 00:12:36,644
Come back!
439
00:12:37,770 --> 00:12:39,444
Get him back here.
You got to get him back.
440
00:12:39,564 --> 00:12:40,875
What, you want him gone,
you want him back.
441
00:12:40,942 --> 00:12:41,876
I'm not a miracle worker.
442
00:12:41,943 --> 00:12:43,811
I don't want him
gone with my car.
443
00:12:43,879 --> 00:12:44,478
It's fine.
444
00:12:44,546 --> 00:12:45,346
He's got your number.
445
00:12:45,413 --> 00:12:46,680
He'll call you back.
446
00:12:46,748 --> 00:12:48,215
I gave him a fake number.
447
00:12:48,283 --> 00:12:50,289
Why would you do that?
448
00:12:50,409 --> 00:12:51,919
'Cause girls do that to me
all the time, you know?
449
00:12:51,987 --> 00:12:52,753
Did it feel good?
450
00:12:52,821 --> 00:12:56,381
It felt really good... till now.
451
00:12:59,191 --> 00:12:59,924
I feel like a new man.
452
00:12:59,992 --> 00:13:00,992
Yeah.
453
00:13:01,060 --> 00:13:01,760
Quick yet effective.
454
00:13:01,827 --> 00:13:03,595
I am quick, you are effective.
455
00:13:03,662 --> 00:13:06,898
You know, babe, I wouldn't even worry
about the whole Taco and Lily thing.
456
00:13:06,966 --> 00:13:09,534
I think it is a blessing in disguise.
457
00:13:09,602 --> 00:13:11,102
Taco is like career kryptonite.
458
00:13:11,170 --> 00:13:13,004
You get dumber just
by being around him.
459
00:13:13,072 --> 00:13:14,339
I love Taco, you know I do.
460
00:13:14,407 --> 00:13:18,372
I just... I think in the end that she's
gonna end up creating a bigger mess
461
00:13:18,492 --> 00:13:19,938
and you're gonna look like a golden boy.
462
00:13:20,058 --> 00:13:20,927
(coughs)
463
00:13:21,347 --> 00:13:22,580
Ew!
464
00:13:22,648 --> 00:13:23,715
Are you okay?
465
00:13:23,783 --> 00:13:24,849
I choked on some water.
466
00:13:24,917 --> 00:13:27,719
Was that the glass that was
sitting right next to the sink?
467
00:13:27,787 --> 00:13:29,220
Yeah.
468
00:13:29,288 --> 00:13:30,155
No.
469
00:13:30,222 --> 00:13:31,389
It hurts down my throat.
470
00:13:31,457 --> 00:13:33,591
You just drank Grammy's earrings.
471
00:13:33,659 --> 00:13:34,159
What?!
472
00:13:34,226 --> 00:13:35,360
Yes.
473
00:13:35,428 --> 00:13:37,829
Damn it, you're going
to have to throw up.
474
00:13:37,897 --> 00:13:41,032
I am not a 16-year-old girl who thinks
she's fat and lives in Florida.
475
00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:41,966
Do you understand me?
476
00:13:42,034 --> 00:13:42,867
I will cut them out of you.
477
00:13:42,935 --> 00:13:46,304
You will... What, this is not
blood diamonds, sweetheart.
478
00:13:46,372 --> 00:13:47,305
They are coming out tonight.
479
00:13:47,373 --> 00:13:52,377
I don't care if we have to spend our
entire grown-up weekend making you vomit.
480
00:13:52,445 --> 00:13:53,244
Come back to bed, Rodney.
481
00:13:53,312 --> 00:13:54,212
I'll be back in a sec.
482
00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:57,882
I'm just grabbing another
bottle of champagne.
483
00:13:57,950 --> 00:14:00,251
What the hell's this?
484
00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:03,855
Why is he offering me Forte?
485
00:14:03,923 --> 00:14:05,023
Are you coming back to bed?
486
00:14:05,091 --> 00:14:06,324
Just a second, baby.
487
00:14:06,392 --> 00:14:08,626
I stubbed my toe.
488
00:14:08,694 --> 00:14:12,630
I miss you, Rodney.
489
00:14:12,698 --> 00:14:14,399
I can have it all.
490
00:14:14,467 --> 00:14:16,401
I deserve it all.
491
00:14:16,469 --> 00:14:18,169
Honey, you've never done this before.
492
00:14:18,237 --> 00:14:19,104
Do you like it?
493
00:14:19,171 --> 00:14:20,004
Yeah. This is unlike you.
494
00:14:20,072 --> 00:14:22,841
Yeah, it's unlike me, but
you know who it isn't like?
495
00:14:22,908 --> 00:14:24,075
The attorney general.
496
00:14:24,143 --> 00:14:24,909
Like the sound of that?
497
00:14:24,977 --> 00:14:26,644
Take me away, Attorney General.
498
00:14:26,712 --> 00:14:27,345
I will.
499
00:14:27,413 --> 00:14:28,646
You're being put away for years.
500
00:14:28,714 --> 00:14:29,647
You know why?
501
00:14:29,715 --> 00:14:31,716
I'm so sorry for whatever I did.
502
00:14:31,784 --> 00:14:35,286
You're under arrest
for being too sexy.
503
00:14:35,354 --> 00:14:36,654
You stay right there.
504
00:14:36,722 --> 00:14:37,689
All right, baby.
505
00:14:37,756 --> 00:14:38,289
All right.
506
00:14:38,357 --> 00:14:39,124
Let's do this thing.
507
00:14:39,191 --> 00:14:40,258
You ready to get into it?
508
00:14:40,326 --> 00:14:41,126
Yeah.
509
00:14:41,193 --> 00:14:43,294
You ready to find out what's going on?
510
00:14:43,362 --> 00:14:44,262
Yeah.
511
00:14:44,330 --> 00:14:44,963
Ooh.
512
00:14:45,030 --> 00:14:46,764
What's next, baby, what's next?
513
00:14:46,832 --> 00:14:48,967
I've got to figure out if
you're ready to play, right?
514
00:14:49,034 --> 00:14:50,101
Yeah.
515
00:14:50,169 --> 00:14:51,469
What's your problem?
516
00:14:51,537 --> 00:14:52,770
Is it your ankle?
517
00:14:52,838 --> 00:14:53,905
(chuckles)
518
00:14:53,973 --> 00:14:54,772
Uh-oh.
519
00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:56,674
Could it be... ooh,
is it your meniscus?
520
00:14:56,742 --> 00:14:58,443
Baby, I don't even know
what a meniscus is.
521
00:14:58,511 --> 00:14:59,911
Is it the anterior cruciate ligament?
522
00:14:59,979 --> 00:15:01,679
Can it be a disciplinary problem?
523
00:15:01,747 --> 00:15:02,680
Ooh, yeah.
524
00:15:02,748 --> 00:15:04,682
I've been a bad, bad girl.
525
00:15:04,750 --> 00:15:05,683
Oh, yeah?
526
00:15:05,751 --> 00:15:06,951
You need to be reprimanded?
527
00:15:07,019 --> 00:15:08,253
I need a spanking.
528
00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:09,087
Is that what you want?
529
00:15:09,155 --> 00:15:10,221
Yeah.
530
00:15:10,289 --> 00:15:11,222
Yeah.
531
00:15:11,290 --> 00:15:12,991
Yeah, you've been a bad girl.
532
00:15:13,058 --> 00:15:15,426
Just drink this.
533
00:15:18,197 --> 00:15:19,330
Ew.
534
00:15:19,398 --> 00:15:20,165
Okay.
535
00:15:20,232 --> 00:15:20,798
No.
536
00:15:20,866 --> 00:15:21,432
You good?
537
00:15:21,500 --> 00:15:21,966
Yeah.
538
00:15:22,034 --> 00:15:23,468
You're not going...
I'm fine.
539
00:15:23,536 --> 00:15:24,002
Seriously?
540
00:15:24,069 --> 00:15:26,437
Yeah...
(groans) Oh, God!
541
00:15:26,505 --> 00:15:27,138
Did it work?
542
00:15:27,206 --> 00:15:27,906
No.
543
00:15:27,973 --> 00:15:28,806
Are you going to throw up?
544
00:15:28,874 --> 00:15:30,241
No. I just feel hurt.
545
00:15:30,309 --> 00:15:33,166
I'm sorry.
I just... Ow!
546
00:15:33,286 --> 00:15:35,528
I'm doing it because
I want you to throw out.
547
00:15:36,237 --> 00:15:39,459
How is it possible that your stomach
is more stubborn than you are?
548
00:15:39,466 --> 00:15:40,165
I don't know.
549
00:15:40,233 --> 00:15:41,867
Look, it's clearly not working.
550
00:15:41,935 --> 00:15:43,635
We're going to have to try phase two.
551
00:15:43,703 --> 00:15:44,369
No. What's phase two?
552
00:15:44,437 --> 00:15:45,370
It's going out the other end.
553
00:15:45,438 --> 00:15:48,240
No, no, no, I'm not...
B-side, B-side, come on.
554
00:15:48,308 --> 00:15:49,641
I am not a biologist.
555
00:15:49,709 --> 00:15:51,710
I'm not rummaging through my
own feces like a raccoon.
556
00:15:51,778 --> 00:15:52,945
Go.
557
00:15:53,012 --> 00:15:55,380
Aw, I hate phase two.
558
00:15:56,068 --> 00:15:58,169
No, no, no, phase two
is not a public event.
559
00:15:58,237 --> 00:16:00,371
I am pretty sure it was very
public a couple days ago when I
560
00:16:00,439 --> 00:16:01,206
was brushing my teeth.
561
00:16:01,273 --> 00:16:03,341
I have to go downstairs and
listen to O'Connor's speech.
562
00:16:03,409 --> 00:16:04,275
Lily's going to be there.
563
00:16:04,343 --> 00:16:05,510
She's not going to miss it.
564
00:16:05,578 --> 00:16:08,346
Before I get into that stuff
and some of these concerns, I
565
00:16:08,414 --> 00:16:10,748
want to thank all of you for
being here tonight... for taking
566
00:16:10,816 --> 00:16:14,118
time out of your life for being here.
567
00:16:14,186 --> 00:16:17,889
Uh, I want to talk about a couple of
things that concern me personally.
568
00:16:17,957 --> 00:16:18,756
They also concern you.
569
00:16:18,824 --> 00:16:19,791
Babe, I don't feel good.
570
00:16:19,858 --> 00:16:20,558
You're fine.
571
00:16:20,626 --> 00:16:23,027
No, it's all starting to hit me now.
572
00:16:23,095 --> 00:16:26,864
And that you have, is what makes us
a country... - I've got to go to the
573
00:16:26,932 --> 00:16:27,765
bathroom and throw up.
574
00:16:27,833 --> 00:16:28,299
No, no.
575
00:16:28,367 --> 00:16:31,002
You are not going to throw up
Gramma's earrings in a public toilet.
576
00:16:31,070 --> 00:16:32,503
I've got to throw up somewhere.
577
00:16:32,571 --> 00:16:34,339
...Once and for all, we've
got to come up with a plan.
578
00:16:34,406 --> 00:16:35,506
Just breathe.
579
00:16:35,574 --> 00:16:36,774
Relax, you're fine.
580
00:16:36,842 --> 00:16:38,810
Got to get the people in there.
581
00:16:38,877 --> 00:16:40,011
That's where they live.
582
00:16:40,079 --> 00:16:40,878
I'm not fine.
583
00:16:40,946 --> 00:16:42,247
I got to go. I got to go.
584
00:16:42,314 --> 00:16:43,181
Oh, God!
585
00:16:43,249 --> 00:16:44,782
(retching)
586
00:16:44,850 --> 00:16:47,352
(all gasping)
587
00:16:47,419 --> 00:16:49,254
Wait, oh!
588
00:16:49,321 --> 00:16:50,855
Oh, my God, I got 'em!
589
00:16:50,923 --> 00:16:53,324
That totally worked.
590
00:16:53,392 --> 00:16:55,393
Don't know what I'm going
to do with that kid.
591
00:16:55,461 --> 00:16:56,527
Oh, God, we're good.
592
00:16:56,595 --> 00:16:57,528
There's more.
593
00:16:57,596 --> 00:16:59,264
(Kevin vomits, guests gasp)
594
00:17:01,031 --> 00:17:02,699
This is too good to be true.
595
00:17:02,766 --> 00:17:03,866
Should I do this?
596
00:17:03,934 --> 00:17:04,867
Do this, baby.
597
00:17:04,935 --> 00:17:05,702
I'm gonna accept it.
598
00:17:05,769 --> 00:17:06,536
Yeah, baby.
599
00:17:06,603 --> 00:17:07,503
You ready to accept it?
600
00:17:07,571 --> 00:17:09,806
Oh, I am, as you see.
601
00:17:09,873 --> 00:17:11,641
I am going to ravage you.
602
00:17:11,709 --> 00:17:13,509
Yeah, baby.
603
00:17:13,577 --> 00:17:14,510
You, too.
604
00:17:14,578 --> 00:17:15,278
(Sofia sighs)
605
00:17:15,346 --> 00:17:16,646
All right.
606
00:17:16,714 --> 00:17:17,714
Let's do this, honey.
607
00:17:17,781 --> 00:17:18,715
It is done.
608
00:17:18,782 --> 00:17:19,549
This is exciting.
609
00:17:19,616 --> 00:17:20,783
I can't see you.
610
00:17:20,851 --> 00:17:21,951
(Sofia chuckles)
611
00:17:22,019 --> 00:17:23,519
Be back in a sec, honey.
612
00:17:23,587 --> 00:17:26,990
♪ Just going ball-deep
On the league. ♪
613
00:17:27,057 --> 00:17:27,991
Ooh, nice leggies.
614
00:17:28,058 --> 00:17:29,525
What are you doing here?
615
00:17:29,593 --> 00:17:32,295
You're not answering your phone
tonight, not checking text messages?
616
00:17:32,363 --> 00:17:33,129
No, I'm not.
617
00:17:33,197 --> 00:17:34,097
Okay, here's the situation.
618
00:17:34,164 --> 00:17:34,931
Your brother stole my car.
619
00:17:34,999 --> 00:17:35,765
He's not my brother.
620
00:17:35,833 --> 00:17:36,599
Brolo El Cuñado.
621
00:17:36,667 --> 00:17:38,601
If he has sex in that car,
you're buying me a new one.
622
00:17:38,669 --> 00:17:40,303
Well, someone will finally
have sex in that car.
623
00:17:40,371 --> 00:17:42,538
I went down on a
girl in that car.
624
00:17:42,606 --> 00:17:43,773
That wasn't a girl.
625
00:17:43,841 --> 00:17:45,541
Yes, Turner's syndrome, XXY.
626
00:17:45,609 --> 00:17:46,642
Don't worry about that.
627
00:17:46,710 --> 00:17:49,912
This idiot told your brolo that
some drunk dude at a party was
628
00:17:49,980 --> 00:17:52,964
Matt Forte and he'd better drop him
cause he's too drunk to play tomorrow.
629
00:17:53,084 --> 00:17:55,677
Do you remember that time when we saw
that random asian dude at
630
00:17:55,797 --> 00:17:57,820
Uno's and we told Andre it was
Anquan Boldin?
631
00:17:57,888 --> 00:17:59,822
Anquan. Quan... Asian name.
632
00:17:59,890 --> 00:18:01,657
Michelle Kwan. All right?
633
00:18:01,725 --> 00:18:03,469
(singsongy): Rodney.
634
00:18:03,589 --> 00:18:05,340
Come to bed.
635
00:18:05,588 --> 00:18:06,888
Yeah, in a second, sweetie.
636
00:18:06,956 --> 00:18:08,957
What you got going
on back there?
637
00:18:09,025 --> 00:18:09,925
It's Terrific Lady Night.
638
00:18:09,992 --> 00:18:11,093
Ugh!
639
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:13,528
It's not Terrific Lady and Two
Assholes Night, so get out!
640
00:18:13,596 --> 00:18:14,963
What are you looking at?
641
00:18:15,031 --> 00:18:16,098
Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!
642
00:18:16,165 --> 00:18:17,532
You picked up Matt Forte?
643
00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:18,500
I'm playing him tomorrow.
644
00:18:18,568 --> 00:18:21,203
He's now gonna destroy me
'cause he's got Forte.
645
00:18:21,270 --> 00:18:22,671
Yeah, it's gonna be a savaging.
646
00:18:22,739 --> 00:18:25,140
You did a trade during
Terrific Lady Night.
647
00:18:25,208 --> 00:18:26,341
Well done!
648
00:18:26,409 --> 00:18:26,908
Thank you.
649
00:18:26,976 --> 00:18:27,709
Drop him.
650
00:18:27,777 --> 00:18:28,276
Leave!
651
00:18:28,344 --> 00:18:29,177
Drop him.
652
00:18:29,245 --> 00:18:30,145
Leave.
653
00:18:30,213 --> 00:18:31,279
What's it gonna be, guys?
654
00:18:31,347 --> 00:18:32,314
Good night, gentlemen.
655
00:18:32,382 --> 00:18:33,215
Okay.
656
00:18:33,282 --> 00:18:34,015
See you later.
657
00:18:34,083 --> 00:18:34,916
Rodney!
658
00:18:34,984 --> 00:18:36,918
Hey, hey, hey, no, I'm
coming right here, baby.
659
00:18:36,986 --> 00:18:37,719
What happened?
660
00:18:37,787 --> 00:18:38,620
I'm right here, baby.
661
00:18:38,688 --> 00:18:40,188
What happened to
Terrific Lady Day?
662
00:18:40,256 --> 00:18:42,157
Oh, it's still
Terrific Lady Day.
663
00:18:42,225 --> 00:18:44,159
Mmm...
Mmm, here I am.
664
00:18:44,227 --> 00:18:46,598
Mmm-mmm.
665
00:18:50,115 --> 00:18:52,343
Honey, where are you?
666
00:18:52,471 --> 00:18:53,664
I'm right here, baby.
667
00:18:53,732 --> 00:18:54,565
Where?
668
00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:55,332
I'm right here.
669
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:56,333
Don't you want me?
670
00:18:56,401 --> 00:18:57,968
Yeah, I'll make you beg for it.
671
00:18:58,036 --> 00:18:59,970
Yeah, you're my little...
Come on, baby, bring it.
672
00:19:00,038 --> 00:19:02,006
I'm touching you with rose
petals because if anybody
673
00:19:02,073 --> 00:19:05,176
else touched you, I would take
their nuts and put 'em in a
674
00:19:05,243 --> 00:19:07,745
beanbag and then let fat
people sit on them.
675
00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:09,680
Okay, baby, you don't
have to get upset.
676
00:19:09,748 --> 00:19:11,015
Okay? I'm not gonna do it.
677
00:19:11,082 --> 00:19:12,550
You're getting so
emotional, honey.
678
00:19:12,617 --> 00:19:14,218
I'm a bit emotional right now.
679
00:19:14,286 --> 00:19:16,720
I don't mind if you cry
during sex again.
680
00:19:16,788 --> 00:19:17,988
I like it.
681
00:19:18,056 --> 00:19:19,290
I don't cry during sex.
682
00:19:19,357 --> 00:19:20,424
Yes, you do.
683
00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:21,992
It's just that I'm allergic.
684
00:19:22,060 --> 00:19:24,395
I have sensitive eyes, okay?
685
00:19:24,463 --> 00:19:25,729
That's the issue.
686
00:19:25,797 --> 00:19:28,732
Come on, baby, bring
those tears over here.
687
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:30,768
Come get it. Come get mama.
688
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:34,138
Oh, you put on some
corduroy pants, huh?
689
00:19:34,206 --> 00:19:36,307
No, I just put on
pants for a second.
690
00:19:36,374 --> 00:19:38,075
I'm gonna take 'em off
in just a second.
691
00:19:38,143 --> 00:19:39,076
Naughty boy.
692
00:19:39,144 --> 00:19:40,711
No, no, I'm leaving 'em on!
693
00:19:40,779 --> 00:19:42,012
I'm leaving the pants on, okay?
694
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:43,047
Making it tough for mama.
695
00:19:43,114 --> 00:19:45,015
I don't like that when you
put that there at all.
696
00:19:45,083 --> 00:19:46,317
I know that you like this.
697
00:19:46,384 --> 00:19:48,719
No, no, no, oh, I don't
like that at all.
698
00:19:48,787 --> 00:19:50,054
Oh, oh, yes, you do.
699
00:19:50,121 --> 00:19:52,323
You love it when I put it there.
700
00:19:52,390 --> 00:19:55,824
Fine. I will do this, but I'm
gonna get even with you.
701
00:19:55,944 --> 00:19:58,028
Okay.
702
00:19:58,096 --> 00:20:00,231
Okay, are we happy now?
703
00:20:00,298 --> 00:20:03,067
Where? Honey?!
704
00:20:03,134 --> 00:20:05,569
We are filthy.
705
00:20:05,637 --> 00:20:07,725
We are horrible.
Get out. Go.
706
00:20:08,522 --> 00:20:11,133
Hello? Ruxin?
707
00:20:12,071 --> 00:20:13,084
Go!
708
00:20:13,204 --> 00:20:14,378
Ah, here we go.
709
00:20:14,446 --> 00:20:15,846
You guys know where Andre is?
710
00:20:15,914 --> 00:20:16,580
Whoa-ho, look at this!
711
00:20:16,648 --> 00:20:17,415
Are you kidding me?
712
00:20:17,482 --> 00:20:18,516
Raffi, what are you doing here?!
713
00:20:18,583 --> 00:20:19,984
I gotta give Andre
his car back.
714
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:21,419
Relax, man, you don't
have to cover her up.
715
00:20:21,486 --> 00:20:23,087
We shared a room
till we were 18.
716
00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:23,854
Oh, God!
717
00:20:23,922 --> 00:20:26,691
Fella, I need to thank you for
making that trade just now.
718
00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:28,593
You made a trade on
Terrific Lady Day?
719
00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:29,360
(Raffi groaning)
720
00:20:29,428 --> 00:20:31,429
No, I didn't make a trade
on Terrific Lady Day!
721
00:20:31,497 --> 00:20:32,363
I would never do that!
722
00:20:32,431 --> 00:20:33,097
I swear to God.
723
00:20:33,165 --> 00:20:34,199
I think I'm gonna barf.
724
00:20:34,266 --> 00:20:34,933
Oh, my God!
725
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,201
All these candles
are all vanilla.
726
00:20:36,268 --> 00:20:38,069
That triggers a gag
reflex in me.
727
00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:38,937
Get out of here!
728
00:20:39,004 --> 00:20:40,371
I gotta lie down for a second.
729
00:20:40,439 --> 00:20:40,872
(Sofia shrieks)
730
00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:42,373
Sometimes when I puke, I shit.
731
00:20:42,441 --> 00:20:42,907
No!
732
00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:43,675
Raffi!
733
00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:45,677
He's having a very special
night with his wife.
734
00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:48,079
And you, my friend, got a
little foot jibber from Sofia.
735
00:20:48,147 --> 00:20:49,013
What a night! (chuckles)
736
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:50,478
All right! Oh!
737
00:20:50,598 --> 00:20:53,348
- Alright!
- Oh, my God, what is that smell?
738
00:20:53,446 --> 00:20:55,979
- Holy...
- El Cunado.
739
00:20:56,112 --> 00:21:06,067
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
740
00:21:06,117 --> 00:21:10,667
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
51026
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.