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1
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(man) And, yea, verily doth it be decreed
2
00:00:05,274 --> 00:00:09,977
in Book Three, Chapter Four
that the Catalyst did arise
3
00:00:10,112 --> 00:00:12,813
with newfound clarity in his visions
4
00:00:12,948 --> 00:00:17,151
and so journeyed far away
to an inhospitable land
5
00:00:17,286 --> 00:00:19,520
to rally for the right...
6
00:00:21,324 --> 00:00:24,925
7
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(groaning)
8
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(laughing)
9
00:00:29,999 --> 00:00:31,565
(Alice) I was wrong about you...
10
00:00:31,667 --> 00:00:33,000
I'll see you in court!
11
00:00:33,135 --> 00:00:35,002
Your lunch with Simon Cowell
is going to be fish and chips.
12
00:00:36,372 --> 00:00:38,272
- Oi!
- Answer ya telephone!
13
00:00:38,407 --> 00:00:40,441
- Hey... could somebody answer the phone...
- (phone ringing)
14
00:00:40,576 --> 00:00:42,376
Suspected release of Megathrax.
15
00:00:42,478 --> 00:00:43,711
- Do I have to do everything myself?
- (phone ringing)
16
00:00:43,879 --> 00:00:46,180
I have to do everything myself!
17
00:00:46,315 --> 00:00:47,548
(booming)
18
00:00:47,683 --> 00:00:51,618
("Life is Sweet" ringtone plays)
19
00:00:56,559 --> 00:00:59,727
(straining)
20
00:00:59,829 --> 00:01:00,994
Hello?
21
00:01:01,130 --> 00:01:02,496
(Dave) Good afternoon, Todd Margaret.
22
00:01:02,631 --> 00:01:04,498
This is Todd Margaret.
23
00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:06,033
Who is this?
24
00:01:06,168 --> 00:01:07,468
It... it's me, mate.
25
00:01:07,570 --> 00:01:09,103
Oh, Dave, Dave...
26
00:01:09,238 --> 00:01:10,471
There you go!
27
00:01:10,573 --> 00:01:11,772
Are you all right, Todd?
28
00:01:11,941 --> 00:01:13,474
Yeah, why, what time is it?
29
00:01:13,576 --> 00:01:15,743
Uh... It's 10:45.
30
00:01:15,878 --> 00:01:17,378
I texted you yesterday
31
00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:18,946
regarding a meeting with Sainsbury's...
32
00:01:19,048 --> 00:01:20,180
Oh, yeah. Okay, okay, yeah.
33
00:01:20,316 --> 00:01:22,349
- I'll be in the office in a minute.
- Ta-ta!
34
00:01:22,485 --> 00:01:23,617
(Pam, with cockney
accent) What you on about?
35
00:01:23,755 --> 00:01:25,088
What have I told you about nicking
36
00:01:25,190 --> 00:01:27,624
other people's cheese strings?
37
00:01:27,759 --> 00:01:31,428
Disaronno, Sambuca, leave Malibu alone!
38
00:01:31,530 --> 00:01:34,247
So, what do you think of me bathroom?
39
00:01:34,382 --> 00:01:35,498
It's amazing.
40
00:01:35,634 --> 00:01:37,901
It's dark, claustrophobic.
41
00:01:38,003 --> 00:01:42,806
This perfectly illustrates the
lunacy of modern day London.
42
00:01:42,908 --> 00:01:48,311
I'm going to have to
reevaluate... everything!
43
00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:49,846
May I see it again?
44
00:01:49,948 --> 00:01:51,314
Yeah, all right, but 'avin' another look's
45
00:01:51,416 --> 00:01:53,850
gonna cost you a grand, though.
46
00:01:53,952 --> 00:01:54,884
The dream.
47
00:01:55,020 --> 00:01:56,653
48
00:01:56,788 --> 00:01:59,589
The idea of putting on this
whole chav persona is brilliant!
49
00:01:59,691 --> 00:02:02,292
And it's so authentic and grounded.
50
00:02:02,461 --> 00:02:05,228
And renting three shitty kids
really gives you credibility.
51
00:02:05,397 --> 00:02:08,131
(losing the accent) I just can't
believe it took me so long to figure out.
52
00:02:10,101 --> 00:02:11,334
So, what, what do I got here?
53
00:02:11,436 --> 00:02:14,971
So, Pam, neighbor, North Korea,
oh, I got beat up in Leeds
54
00:02:15,073 --> 00:02:16,439
and sent to the hospital.
55
00:02:16,541 --> 00:02:20,210
Leeds... bad... I blew
up the world, a trial,
56
00:02:20,312 --> 00:02:21,778
don't make fun of dastar hats.
57
00:02:21,913 --> 00:02:26,950
Megathrax. Dave, Dave... Dave?
58
00:02:27,052 --> 00:02:28,117
Dave.
59
00:02:28,220 --> 00:02:30,854
Alice dies, but Alice is sweet.
60
00:02:30,989 --> 00:02:32,355
She's good.
61
00:02:32,491 --> 00:02:33,556
Okay...
62
00:02:37,302 --> 00:02:38,701
(Alice) If we want this to work.
63
00:02:38,803 --> 00:02:41,304
We have to start by separating the whites.
64
00:02:41,439 --> 00:02:42,539
(Todd) Hi...
65
00:02:42,707 --> 00:02:44,140
What do you want?
66
00:02:44,242 --> 00:02:45,742
I'm super busy.
67
00:02:45,844 --> 00:02:49,646
Aw, wow, thanks.
68
00:02:49,748 --> 00:02:52,649
Are they cold fusion
nuclide titanium creams?
69
00:02:52,784 --> 00:02:55,752
Uh, they got nuts in them.
70
00:02:59,257 --> 00:03:00,890
(mooing)
71
00:03:01,026 --> 00:03:02,091
Oh, God!
72
00:03:02,227 --> 00:03:06,195
Oh, Rachel, that is never
gonna make 2,000 sliders.
73
00:03:06,298 --> 00:03:09,065
Uh, okay, lem... lemme just say my piece.
74
00:03:09,167 --> 00:03:11,100
As you can see, I'm kind of busy so...
75
00:03:11,202 --> 00:03:13,069
Remember I told you I
had that dream, right?
76
00:03:13,204 --> 00:03:15,638
In the dream you're...
you're... you're good.
77
00:03:15,774 --> 00:03:17,674
You're a good, decent person.
78
00:03:17,809 --> 00:03:19,275
Yeah, well, in my reality,
79
00:03:19,377 --> 00:03:21,711
you've been a lying little asshole.
80
00:03:21,846 --> 00:03:24,013
- So...
- All right, I know, I know.
81
00:03:24,115 --> 00:03:26,249
And, look, I... I never
put stock in dreams,
82
00:03:26,384 --> 00:03:28,217
you know, but this one is different.
83
00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:32,255
Okay, it... it's... it's vivid, it's real,
84
00:03:32,390 --> 00:03:34,624
it's becoming real, and in it, you help me.
85
00:03:34,726 --> 00:03:36,225
(mooing, shattering)
86
00:03:36,361 --> 00:03:37,694
I've blown them back up too big.
87
00:03:37,796 --> 00:03:40,763
- How?
- Oh, Jesus, look, Todd...
88
00:03:40,865 --> 00:03:43,232
Okay, I just wanted to say, I'm sorry
89
00:03:43,335 --> 00:03:46,302
and I now know that you're...
you're a voice of reason
90
00:03:46,404 --> 00:03:49,238
and you are pure, and I know that,
91
00:03:49,374 --> 00:03:51,374
and so does Hudson Bear.
92
00:03:51,509 --> 00:03:55,078
(Hudson Bear) Let us head forth
toward the great white north.
93
00:03:55,213 --> 00:03:56,245
(Hudson Bear playing music)
94
00:03:56,381 --> 00:04:01,184
All right, well, uh, yeah, all right.
95
00:04:01,319 --> 00:04:04,187
I do love Hudson Bear...
96
00:04:04,289 --> 00:04:07,824
- (crashing and mooing)
- Oh, God!
97
00:04:07,926 --> 00:04:08,825
I've taken on too much!
98
00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:10,760
I've taken... this is too much!
99
00:04:10,862 --> 00:04:13,796
Alice, can I help in any way?
100
00:04:13,898 --> 00:04:14,764
Sorry, that came out sexual.
101
00:04:14,899 --> 00:04:16,032
I didn't mean it to.
102
00:04:16,167 --> 00:04:17,734
Well, no, it's... it's the garden party.
103
00:04:17,869 --> 00:04:19,802
I mean, we moved it to a
bigger venue and that's good
104
00:04:19,938 --> 00:04:22,705
and the TV news want to cover
it and that's obviously great,
105
00:04:22,841 --> 00:04:25,608
but we are expecting thousands now...
106
00:04:25,744 --> 00:04:28,211
Alice, at the risk of
sounding opportunistic,
107
00:04:28,346 --> 00:04:30,747
how much money are you on the hook for?
108
00:04:30,882 --> 00:04:32,482
About twenty grand.
109
00:04:32,617 --> 00:04:34,751
That's nothing, Thunder
Muscle will sponsor this.
110
00:04:34,853 --> 00:04:36,719
- It's perfect.
- Thunder Muscle, the energy drink?
111
00:04:36,855 --> 00:04:40,189
Yeah, I'll cut you a check
right now for twenty grand.
112
00:04:40,325 --> 00:04:42,392
Thunder Muscle was responsible
for a massive crater
113
00:04:42,527 --> 00:04:44,961
outside my restaurant.
114
00:04:47,232 --> 00:04:49,265
A hundred grand.
115
00:04:49,367 --> 00:04:51,734
Thank you, Todd!
116
00:04:51,870 --> 00:04:52,935
- Thank you!
- Yeah.
117
00:04:53,038 --> 00:04:55,805
We are so grateful, you
are... you're my savior.
118
00:04:55,940 --> 00:04:57,440
Yeah... Thanks, well, you know...
119
00:04:57,575 --> 00:04:58,441
Why don't you come up?
120
00:04:58,576 --> 00:04:59,809
Sure... up?
121
00:04:59,911 --> 00:05:01,444
To the Garden Party... it's in Leeds.
122
00:05:01,546 --> 00:05:03,312
- Leeds?
- Yeah.
123
00:05:03,415 --> 00:05:05,481
124
00:05:07,909 --> 00:05:11,111
Sameer, call this lady and get
a truck full of Thunder Muscle
125
00:05:11,214 --> 00:05:12,580
to the location she gives you
126
00:05:12,682 --> 00:05:14,548
and hire some guys, hang some banners.
127
00:05:14,650 --> 00:05:17,685
Tess, get the Thunder
Girls to go and pass out
128
00:05:17,787 --> 00:05:19,286
some Thunder Muscle, Thunder Bucks
129
00:05:19,422 --> 00:05:20,888
to the same place, all right?
130
00:05:21,103 --> 00:05:22,703
And you're going as well, right?
131
00:05:22,838 --> 00:05:25,506
No... Apparently, uh, me
and Leeds do not get along.
132
00:05:25,641 --> 00:05:28,709
And Tim Dempsey faces a
three-year ban from football
133
00:05:28,811 --> 00:05:31,378
having tested positive
for banned substances.
134
00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:34,148
Tim Dempsey has steadfastly
maintained his innocence
135
00:05:34,283 --> 00:05:36,417
and has threatened to sue whatever
136
00:05:36,552 --> 00:05:38,419
or whomever is responsible.
137
00:05:38,554 --> 00:05:39,653
Answer your telephone.
138
00:05:39,789 --> 00:05:40,921
(reporter) ... comet watch segment,
139
00:05:41,057 --> 00:05:43,023
and all eyes are on the
skies as at long...
140
00:05:43,159 --> 00:05:46,226
(phone ringing)
141
00:05:49,198 --> 00:05:51,932
(Brent) This is really important
because you're gonna wanna know
142
00:05:52,034 --> 00:05:54,702
your tonality with... the comet and all...
143
00:05:54,837 --> 00:05:55,669
144
00:05:55,805 --> 00:05:58,906
Oh, yeah, with the comet coming...
145
00:05:59,041 --> 00:06:00,741
(inaudible chatter)
146
00:06:10,953 --> 00:06:14,254
- (shutter clicking)
- Before you know it, you're gonna be on...
147
00:06:14,357 --> 00:06:15,856
Good, that's good. Now you're...
148
00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:19,226
(electronic beeping)
149
00:06:23,432 --> 00:06:24,465
(beep)
150
00:06:26,769 --> 00:06:28,435
(beeping)
151
00:06:31,173 --> 00:06:32,172
(beep)
152
00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:41,582
Okay, so I've got a team from Sainsbury's
153
00:06:41,684 --> 00:06:42,950
sat in the conference room.
154
00:06:43,052 --> 00:06:44,985
And... how'd you make that happen?
155
00:06:45,087 --> 00:06:46,353
Oh, I spoke to them.
156
00:06:46,455 --> 00:06:49,757
You just randomly called the, uh...
157
00:06:49,925 --> 00:06:51,925
heads of one of England's largest companies
158
00:06:52,028 --> 00:06:54,561
and said, "Hi, my name's Dave.
I'm a temp at Global National.
159
00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:57,364
You want to swing by
and meet my boss" or...
160
00:06:57,466 --> 00:06:59,199
Not exactly, my father
was going to Sainsbury's
161
00:06:59,335 --> 00:07:00,634
and I tagged along.
162
00:07:00,736 --> 00:07:01,935
Uh-huh.
163
00:07:02,104 --> 00:07:03,537
Also, I don't have an
event in Leeds listed,
164
00:07:03,639 --> 00:07:05,506
but you can fill me in on
everything on the way up.
165
00:07:05,641 --> 00:07:09,076
Oh, I'm not gonna... you
think I should go to Leeds?
166
00:07:09,211 --> 00:07:10,310
Of course.
167
00:07:10,446 --> 00:07:11,412
It's a massive pitch,
168
00:07:11,547 --> 00:07:12,579
you want to be in the middle of it.
169
00:07:12,715 --> 00:07:14,248
I'll drive you up... in fact,
170
00:07:14,383 --> 00:07:15,416
I insist on it.
171
00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:17,317
You insist on it, okay...
172
00:07:17,420 --> 00:07:19,219
Also, I sent another fruit
basket to Jeremy Stephenson
173
00:07:19,321 --> 00:07:21,288
apologizing for missing
the meeting yesterday.
174
00:07:21,390 --> 00:07:22,423
You spoke to Jeremy Stephenson?
175
00:07:22,558 --> 00:07:23,524
- Yes.
- This morning?
176
00:07:23,626 --> 00:07:24,992
You spoke to Jeremy
Stephenson this morning?
177
00:07:25,127 --> 00:07:26,060
Yes, sir.
178
00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:27,761
What d'you use? A Ouija board?
179
00:07:27,897 --> 00:07:29,763
(chuckles) Boss? What...
180
00:07:29,932 --> 00:07:33,734
So those people in that room,
they're from Sainsbury's?
181
00:07:33,903 --> 00:07:36,336
Yes, I think I've set you up quite nicely!
182
00:07:36,472 --> 00:07:38,405
Okay...
183
00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:41,275
Okay, um, you know what,
184
00:07:41,410 --> 00:07:43,577
forget about Leeds for the moment, uh, uh,
185
00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:46,113
- I have something that is, uh, far more pressing.
- Okay.
186
00:07:46,215 --> 00:07:47,815
It's more urgent for Global National.
187
00:07:47,950 --> 00:07:50,350
I need you to go to the
lab where they're running
188
00:07:50,453 --> 00:07:54,054
the Tim Dempsey tests and steal the results
189
00:07:54,156 --> 00:07:56,657
and any incriminating evidence.
190
00:07:57,860 --> 00:07:58,726
Oh...
191
00:07:58,828 --> 00:08:00,194
(laughing)
192
00:08:00,296 --> 00:08:02,096
That's a good one!
193
00:08:02,231 --> 00:08:03,764
That's...
194
00:08:05,534 --> 00:08:07,267
- Boss, that's highly illegal.
- Yes.
195
00:08:07,369 --> 00:08:09,670
If I got caught, I could
get into serious trouble.
196
00:08:09,805 --> 00:08:11,138
Well, you know, hypothetically.
197
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:12,306
So don't get caught.
198
00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:13,307
But, um...
199
00:08:13,409 --> 00:08:15,943
You're all about helping me, right?
200
00:08:16,045 --> 00:08:18,212
You know, the world's "best boss"...
201
00:08:18,347 --> 00:08:19,713
Yes!
202
00:08:19,849 --> 00:08:21,315
Yes, yes.
203
00:08:21,417 --> 00:08:22,549
All right, boss.
204
00:08:25,955 --> 00:08:27,821
- What... Now?
- Yes.
205
00:08:27,923 --> 00:08:29,590
Run along, and I'll meet with the...
206
00:08:29,725 --> 00:08:32,559
good folks... from "Sainsbury's."
207
00:08:32,695 --> 00:08:34,461
Oh, that is definitely their name.
208
00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:35,929
Mmm...
209
00:08:36,031 --> 00:08:39,500
Okay, okay, okay...
210
00:08:39,668 --> 00:08:41,835
(On phone) Trevor, could you
pull the car round front, please?
211
00:08:46,110 --> 00:08:48,785
***
212
00:08:48,786 --> 00:08:51,845
with Azerbaijan and
Turkmenistan solidified,
213
00:08:51,981 --> 00:08:55,249
we should see unrivaled growth.
214
00:08:55,351 --> 00:08:57,418
(inhaling sharply)
215
00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:58,619
Okay, I... I'll tell ya what,
216
00:08:58,754 --> 00:09:00,688
let's, uh, throw away the scripts, okay,
217
00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:01,455
and just have some fun.
218
00:09:01,591 --> 00:09:03,190
All right, Jeanette again...
219
00:09:03,326 --> 00:09:05,092
but this time you just got a letter
220
00:09:05,227 --> 00:09:06,994
from a long lost family member.
221
00:09:07,096 --> 00:09:10,130
Chris, you're an artisan cheese maker
222
00:09:10,266 --> 00:09:11,932
with a really bad toothache,
223
00:09:12,034 --> 00:09:13,233
and you've taken a vow of silence
224
00:09:13,369 --> 00:09:16,270
because your love for
Jeanette has gone unrequited.
225
00:09:16,405 --> 00:09:20,374
Collin, you are a QC
with a bit of a secret...
226
00:09:20,476 --> 00:09:22,276
I don't want to know what it is exactly,
227
00:09:22,378 --> 00:09:23,811
but just let it trickle out.
228
00:09:23,946 --> 00:09:26,747
Okay, let's start again
from "quarterly sales,"
229
00:09:26,849 --> 00:09:29,583
and remember it's improv, so
it doesn't have to be funny.
230
00:09:29,685 --> 00:09:32,219
We think the proposal speaks for itself.
231
00:09:32,355 --> 00:09:34,254
We can redefine terms...
232
00:09:34,390 --> 00:09:35,423
(crying)
233
00:09:35,645 --> 00:09:36,877
It's from my long lost father.
234
00:09:37,013 --> 00:09:37,978
(crying)
235
00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:40,514
He passed away about a fortnight ago.
236
00:09:40,650 --> 00:09:42,216
He was lost at sea.
237
00:09:42,351 --> 00:09:43,350
(sobbing)
238
00:09:43,452 --> 00:09:44,885
Uh-uh-uh, Chris, vow of silence.
239
00:09:44,987 --> 00:09:46,253
Remember, say it with your eyes.
240
00:09:46,355 --> 00:09:48,322
Stop this! What are you doing?
241
00:09:48,424 --> 00:09:51,742
And... scene, I guess... sorry,
that seemed a bit short to me...
242
00:09:51,844 --> 00:09:53,043
What are you playing at, Mr. Margaret?
243
00:09:53,145 --> 00:09:55,012
We're only here as a
personal favor to young...
244
00:09:55,114 --> 00:09:56,947
Dave, right, I know... yeah.
245
00:09:57,083 --> 00:09:58,215
He's the guy who contacted you
246
00:09:58,351 --> 00:10:00,417
when he was grocery
shopping with his daddy,
247
00:10:00,519 --> 00:10:01,418
is that right?
248
00:10:01,554 --> 00:10:02,553
Okay, why don't you take
249
00:10:02,688 --> 00:10:04,121
your little improv troupe and, uh,
250
00:10:04,257 --> 00:10:05,389
fuck off back to Covent Garden.
251
00:10:05,491 --> 00:10:06,891
Make some real money, huh?
252
00:10:06,993 --> 00:10:10,094
Come on! Thank you so much,
that was very entertaining.
253
00:10:10,229 --> 00:10:11,328
Thank you. Good-bye.
254
00:10:11,430 --> 00:10:12,429
You can be assured Lord Mountford
255
00:10:12,531 --> 00:10:13,464
will hear about our treatment...
256
00:10:13,566 --> 00:10:14,932
Oh, you Googled Lord Mountford!
257
00:10:15,034 --> 00:10:16,433
Good for you... you did your research.
258
00:10:16,569 --> 00:10:18,302
Very professional.
259
00:10:18,404 --> 00:10:19,570
Well, tell Dave I said nice try.
260
00:10:19,672 --> 00:10:20,871
Oh! One last thing...
261
00:10:20,973 --> 00:10:24,508
I'm sorry, could you give
Dave a message for me?
262
00:10:24,610 --> 00:10:25,609
(grunts)
263
00:10:27,113 --> 00:10:28,479
What?
264
00:10:28,581 --> 00:10:31,348
Uh, Mr. Margaret, with all due respect,
265
00:10:31,484 --> 00:10:33,484
I think it's a mistake to upset Dave.
266
00:10:33,586 --> 00:10:34,518
Is that what you think?
267
00:10:34,620 --> 00:10:35,886
Okay, great, thanks, noted.
268
00:10:36,022 --> 00:10:39,089
Huh, you wanna go deep
sea diving with me...
269
00:10:39,191 --> 00:10:43,928
Yeah, hi, I want to, uh, report
a, uh, break-in and a theft.
270
00:10:44,030 --> 00:10:46,330
Right about now, actually.
271
00:10:46,465 --> 00:10:47,831
Mm-hmm, that's right.
272
00:10:47,934 --> 00:10:50,701
Um, in your lab there, the
Tim Dempsey tests, yeah,
273
00:10:50,803 --> 00:10:55,105
there's a young man, uh,
roughly 25, dark hair,
274
00:10:55,207 --> 00:10:58,542
about six feet tall, named Dave... uh,
275
00:10:58,644 --> 00:10:59,810
(snapping fingers) Dave...
276
00:10:59,946 --> 00:11:00,978
(whispering) What's his name?
277
00:11:01,113 --> 00:11:01,979
Mountford.
278
00:11:02,081 --> 00:11:03,480
Mountford...
279
00:11:03,616 --> 00:11:07,151
Dave Mount, Dave... Dave
Mount... Dave... Dave... Dave.
280
00:11:07,253 --> 00:11:10,587
(hyperventilating)
281
00:11:10,723 --> 00:11:14,158
That's why... son of a... Lord!
282
00:11:16,595 --> 00:11:19,296
(chuckling) You will never guess
what has just happened to me.
283
00:11:19,432 --> 00:11:21,832
You were riding along
and then a huge 18-wheeler
284
00:11:21,968 --> 00:11:25,536
filled with Thunder Muscle
and blasting Turkish music
285
00:11:25,671 --> 00:11:26,937
sideswiped you and ran over your bike
286
00:11:27,039 --> 00:11:31,208
and then you got a ticket
for indecent exposure.
287
00:11:31,344 --> 00:11:35,312
Yes... well, that... that
is exactly what happened.
288
00:11:35,414 --> 00:11:38,816
(crying) I can't... that's...
I'm it's coming tr...
289
00:11:38,918 --> 00:11:40,484
It's true... That was me.
290
00:11:40,619 --> 00:11:42,553
I did that... I di...
291
00:11:42,655 --> 00:11:44,355
I was... that was me.
292
00:11:44,490 --> 00:11:45,756
That was me... I did that.
293
00:11:45,858 --> 00:11:48,692
No, no, that guy was bald, he was Turkish.
294
00:11:48,828 --> 00:11:51,795
He was called Achmed Al Abdulawallahwallah.
295
00:11:51,931 --> 00:11:55,566
And, you've been here all day, sir.
296
00:11:55,701 --> 00:11:59,870
Yeah... yeah... what? I know... okay...
297
00:11:59,972 --> 00:12:03,374
(laughing) Right, okay, I know, uh,
298
00:12:03,509 --> 00:12:05,409
that was funny... that was funny.
299
00:12:05,544 --> 00:12:06,910
Wait, wait, yeah because the guy
300
00:12:07,013 --> 00:12:08,779
I ran over in my dream was different.
301
00:12:08,914 --> 00:12:11,582
You're an anchor man, you're...
you're on TV, you read the news.
302
00:12:11,717 --> 00:12:12,816
Oh, God... (sobbing)
303
00:12:12,952 --> 00:12:14,651
(Peter) Are... are you all right?
304
00:12:14,787 --> 00:12:16,487
Yes, I'm fine.
305
00:12:16,622 --> 00:12:18,956
- No... yes, that's right.
- (glasses shattering)
306
00:12:19,091 --> 00:12:22,359
Oh, yeah, another thing,
he... he didn't have glasses.
307
00:12:23,729 --> 00:12:26,630
Yeah, I... there is a resemblance...
308
00:12:26,799 --> 00:12:27,765
(clinking)
309
00:12:31,170 --> 00:12:33,137
(whimpering softly) I can't...
310
00:12:33,272 --> 00:12:34,671
I can't stop it.
311
00:12:34,807 --> 00:12:37,041
It's... it's really happening.
312
00:12:37,176 --> 00:12:39,843
It is really happening... I can't stop it.
313
00:12:39,979 --> 00:12:43,447
Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave is Mountford.
314
00:12:43,549 --> 00:12:46,550
He's after me. He's evil, you don't...
315
00:12:46,652 --> 00:12:49,853
The... the end of the world
happens and it's my fault.
316
00:12:49,989 --> 00:12:52,689
And... and my cat dies
and... and Alice dies
317
00:12:52,825 --> 00:12:55,426
and, well... it sounds crazy
318
00:12:55,561 --> 00:12:58,262
'cause it... 'cause
it... 'cause it is crazy.
319
00:12:58,364 --> 00:12:59,730
(shouting) This is crazy!
320
00:12:59,832 --> 00:13:02,299
(screaming) This sounds crazy
'cause it is crazy, right?
321
00:13:02,435 --> 00:13:03,500
Yeah!
322
00:13:03,669 --> 00:13:05,569
Okay... Ha-ha. Okay.
323
00:13:05,671 --> 00:13:09,139
All right, you know what... you know what?
324
00:13:09,275 --> 00:13:11,542
I'm gonna go to Leeds...
I'm gonna go to Leeds.
325
00:13:11,677 --> 00:13:12,776
I'm going to Leeds.
326
00:13:12,912 --> 00:13:14,411
I'm gonna go to Leeds.
327
00:13:14,547 --> 00:13:16,480
I'm gonna go to Leeds...
I'm gonna go Lee... I'm...
328
00:13:16,582 --> 00:13:18,348
Yup, I'm gonna go to Leeds.
329
00:13:18,484 --> 00:13:19,550
(chuckling)
330
00:13:19,652 --> 00:13:21,752
331
00:13:24,666 --> 00:13:25,833
(Brent) Todd?
332
00:13:25,935 --> 00:13:26,834
Oh, good.
333
00:13:26,936 --> 00:13:28,069
(door closes)
334
00:13:38,248 --> 00:13:40,014
Finally climbed the ladder, heh.
335
00:13:42,685 --> 00:13:45,419
Wait, they've added two more rungs?
336
00:13:45,522 --> 00:13:47,121
That's fantastic.
337
00:13:47,257 --> 00:13:49,824
Now even more truth for me to learn.
338
00:13:49,959 --> 00:13:53,261
Though where am I gonna come
up ?300,000 in 24 hours?
339
00:13:55,632 --> 00:13:56,564
Huh...
340
00:13:56,699 --> 00:13:59,467
341
00:14:04,474 --> 00:14:07,408
Ahh, not so fast, my once-elusive quarry!
342
00:14:07,510 --> 00:14:08,576
Doug, I don't have time for this.
343
00:14:08,678 --> 00:14:10,578
I have to get to the sperm
bank before it closes.
344
00:14:10,713 --> 00:14:11,812
No... no more running away.
345
00:14:11,915 --> 00:14:14,515
I am demanding that you
sign this requisition form.
346
00:14:14,617 --> 00:14:16,884
(chuckling) Oh, Douglas!
347
00:14:17,020 --> 00:14:21,088
He that knoweth the end will
clear the Earth of its...
348
00:14:23,326 --> 00:14:25,326
Uhhh, fudge!
349
00:14:25,428 --> 00:14:26,360
Huh?
350
00:14:26,462 --> 00:14:28,129
No, I can't, uh... Ah, I can't think of it.
351
00:14:28,231 --> 00:14:32,300
Clear the Earth of
its... not people, its...
352
00:14:32,435 --> 00:14:34,602
but it's like a word that... means people.
353
00:14:34,771 --> 00:14:38,372
It's like, uhhh... oh,
ding dong doodle bugs,
354
00:14:38,474 --> 00:14:40,708
I c... I cannot think
of it... Sugar sticks!
355
00:14:40,810 --> 00:14:43,044
It brings me no pleasure
to do this, Mr. Wilts,
356
00:14:43,179 --> 00:14:44,979
but you've been Whitney'd.
357
00:14:45,081 --> 00:14:46,581
I'm calling Mr. Margaret right now.
358
00:14:46,683 --> 00:14:48,749
Okay listen, Doug, hear me out.
359
00:14:48,885 --> 00:14:52,320
Yes, I took the money, but
it was for very good reason.
360
00:14:52,455 --> 00:14:54,355
- What money?
- For...
361
00:14:54,457 --> 00:14:57,592
Well, isn't... well, why are you here?
362
00:14:57,694 --> 00:15:00,361
I'm here for the new microwave!
363
00:15:00,496 --> 00:15:03,197
I haven't had a decent
cup of noodles in weeks!
364
00:15:03,299 --> 00:15:04,131
- Doug!
- (shouting) Weeks!
365
00:15:04,267 --> 00:15:05,399
Doug, listen to me.
366
00:15:05,568 --> 00:15:06,934
What I have to offer
you is far better for you
367
00:15:07,036 --> 00:15:09,971
than a cup of noodles, okay?
368
00:15:10,073 --> 00:15:11,505
The other day when I supposed
to meet you at the bar
369
00:15:11,674 --> 00:15:13,507
and I never showed up... I was there.
370
00:15:16,646 --> 00:15:17,612
Hey there!
371
00:15:17,714 --> 00:15:20,147
I'm American. Do you speak English?
372
00:15:20,249 --> 00:15:22,149
'Cause I speak French and Greek,
if you know what I'm saying.
373
00:15:22,251 --> 00:15:23,517
Get lost, you pig.
374
00:15:23,653 --> 00:15:25,419
(scoffs)
375
00:15:25,521 --> 00:15:27,021
That's London for ya.
376
00:15:27,156 --> 00:15:29,290
Nothing but a shitty British cunt desert.
377
00:15:29,392 --> 00:15:31,559
I'd appreciate you not using that language.
378
00:15:31,661 --> 00:15:33,260
Sorry. (clears throat)
379
00:15:33,363 --> 00:15:35,930
Sorry is the first rung.
380
00:15:36,099 --> 00:15:37,031
What are you, a Jesus guy?
381
00:15:37,166 --> 00:15:38,082
Hardly.
382
00:15:38,201 --> 00:15:39,500
Ohh, like a Sci-Ti, huh?
383
00:15:39,602 --> 00:15:41,452
Please, Scientology is a fraud.
384
00:15:41,587 --> 00:15:44,038
It's a bunch of made-up gobbledygook.
385
00:15:44,173 --> 00:15:46,207
But here's the truth.
386
00:15:46,309 --> 00:15:47,908
There is a prophet that walks amongst us.
387
00:15:48,011 --> 00:15:50,144
He's the one known as The Catalyst
388
00:15:50,246 --> 00:15:53,314
and through his premonitions,
he shall usher forth a new era.
389
00:15:53,416 --> 00:15:55,850
There is a ladder, both
real and conceptual,
390
00:15:55,985 --> 00:15:57,785
which has eight operating rungs on it.
391
00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:01,255
Each rung represents a
case gain on one's tone arm.
392
00:16:01,357 --> 00:16:02,623
When you reach the top of the ladder,
393
00:16:02,759 --> 00:16:04,225
you become Seg-Four,
394
00:16:04,394 --> 00:16:05,993
and that means you are clear.
395
00:16:06,129 --> 00:16:08,729
Oh, you must have read the
news reports about the, uh,
396
00:16:08,865 --> 00:16:11,332
Phantasos comet entering our atmosphere.
397
00:16:11,467 --> 00:16:13,000
Well, the Reverend Goody,
398
00:16:13,136 --> 00:16:15,136
he's our Grand Imperial Illuminator,
399
00:16:15,304 --> 00:16:18,339
has discovered that he himself is an EKLAH,
400
00:16:18,441 --> 00:16:21,442
an Evolutionary Kingdom Layer Above Human.
401
00:16:21,611 --> 00:16:24,011
You see, the Angel Moroni
appeared before Goody
402
00:16:24,147 --> 00:16:25,980
and led him to the secret burial site
403
00:16:26,115 --> 00:16:27,948
of the gold-colored plates,
404
00:16:28,051 --> 00:16:30,818
which only he was given access to.
405
00:16:30,953 --> 00:16:34,355
These plates contained the
imagery of the wood carving
406
00:16:34,457 --> 00:16:37,525
which contain the imagery of the Catalyst.
407
00:16:37,660 --> 00:16:40,061
So we need to climb the ladder
408
00:16:40,163 --> 00:16:43,030
to prepare for the impending
awakening of the Catalyst.
409
00:16:43,166 --> 00:16:45,599
Then he will tell us where
the jumping off point is
410
00:16:45,735 --> 00:16:47,334
so we can get there.
411
00:16:47,437 --> 00:16:49,870
And then after the Catalyst
has ignited the fireball,
412
00:16:50,006 --> 00:16:52,139
we land on the comet
which will then take us
413
00:16:52,241 --> 00:16:55,242
straight into heaven's arms!
414
00:16:55,378 --> 00:16:57,111
I'm in.
415
00:16:57,213 --> 00:16:58,512
I'm in.
416
00:16:58,614 --> 00:17:00,448
(laughing)
417
00:17:00,550 --> 00:17:03,551
(crowd, chanting) The tea in your
cup is from India, so shut up!
418
00:17:03,653 --> 00:17:07,254
The tea in your cup is
from India, so shut up!
419
00:17:07,390 --> 00:17:11,258
The tea in your cup is
from India, so shut up!
420
00:17:11,427 --> 00:17:15,129
The tea in your cup is
from India, so shut up!
421
00:17:15,231 --> 00:17:17,865
The tea in your cup is
from India, so shut up!
422
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,300
(woman) Fascist!
423
00:17:19,402 --> 00:17:22,369
The tea in your cup is
from India, so shut up!
424
00:17:22,505 --> 00:17:24,405
(brass band playing)
425
00:17:24,507 --> 00:17:28,008
Please give a Garden Party
Cheer to the pure breeds.
426
00:17:28,144 --> 00:17:30,111
(cheering)
427
00:17:33,750 --> 00:17:36,183
I'll take one of those, thank you.
428
00:17:36,285 --> 00:17:40,020
(Rachel) And, now, please
welcome to the stage,
429
00:17:40,123 --> 00:17:42,590
the author of the Garden Party Manifesto,
430
00:17:42,725 --> 00:17:45,526
"Death By Chocolate:
A Recipe for Disaster,"
431
00:17:45,628 --> 00:17:47,194
Miss Alice Bell!
432
00:17:47,330 --> 00:17:50,264
(cheering and applause)
433
00:17:56,305 --> 00:17:59,907
White... is right!
434
00:18:00,009 --> 00:18:01,976
(crowd cheering)
435
00:18:02,111 --> 00:18:06,514
Right is white.
436
00:18:06,616 --> 00:18:08,349
For too long,
437
00:18:08,484 --> 00:18:11,418
this country has been contaminated
438
00:18:11,554 --> 00:18:14,488
by the poison of immigration.
439
00:18:14,590 --> 00:18:17,892
Immigration is contamination.
440
00:18:17,994 --> 00:18:20,795
Multiculturalism is death.
441
00:18:20,897 --> 00:18:23,164
Death to multiculturalism.
442
00:18:23,266 --> 00:18:27,301
"Death By Chocolate" is
a recipe for disaster.
443
00:18:27,436 --> 00:18:29,436
(cheering)
444
00:18:32,175 --> 00:18:34,008
I'm very discriminating.
445
00:18:34,110 --> 00:18:36,977
England must seal its borders now.
446
00:18:37,113 --> 00:18:39,647
The thing you're supposed to do
nowadays of course is, you know,
447
00:18:39,782 --> 00:18:42,383
serve Chinese and Thai and Lebanese,
448
00:18:42,485 --> 00:18:44,985
but it's my restaurant, so, only British!
449
00:18:45,087 --> 00:18:47,221
Our homes will be overrun...
450
00:18:47,356 --> 00:18:49,290
We have to start by separating the whites.
451
00:18:49,392 --> 00:18:51,559
Could outlaw fried chicken for starters!
452
00:18:51,661 --> 00:18:53,194
Don't think you can call them Nazis.
453
00:18:53,329 --> 00:18:54,461
I mean, they don't deserve that.
454
00:18:54,597 --> 00:18:57,998
... to take advantage of our free services.
455
00:18:58,134 --> 00:19:00,301
(cheering loudly) And don't
even get me started on the Irish!
456
00:19:00,403 --> 00:19:02,903
(crowd chanting) Sieg Heil, Sieg Heil...
457
00:19:05,474 --> 00:19:07,174
Hey!
458
00:19:07,310 --> 00:19:10,945
Friends, I would like to introduce to you
459
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:13,714
the man who made all of this possible.
460
00:19:13,850 --> 00:19:18,185
Let's give a big Garden Party
and Thunder Muscle welcome
461
00:19:18,321 --> 00:19:20,487
to Todd Margaret!
462
00:19:20,623 --> 00:19:23,090
He shares our vision.
463
00:19:23,226 --> 00:19:25,159
(Todd) No, I do not share you
vision. He is the President of drinks.
464
00:19:25,261 --> 00:19:28,229
- No, that's not true.
- Drink Thunder Muscle to make us strong.
465
00:19:28,364 --> 00:19:29,630
- No, thank you.
- It is the strongest...
466
00:19:29,765 --> 00:19:30,865
- I do not share your vision...
- And the whitest.
467
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:32,533
- Thunder M...
- Okay, thank you.
468
00:19:32,702 --> 00:19:35,302
All right, great. Uh,
okay, all right, um...
469
00:19:35,438 --> 00:19:37,171
- (crowd chanting "Sieg Heil")
- You know, folks... Great, I appreciate it.
470
00:19:37,273 --> 00:19:38,672
I think it's important to say...
471
00:19:38,774 --> 00:19:39,974
Where's my camera? Over here?
472
00:19:40,042 --> 00:19:42,776
Okay, I think it's important
to, um, let everyone know...
473
00:19:42,879 --> 00:19:46,247
- (crowd dies down)
- ... that Thunder Muscle is all inclusive, okay?
474
00:19:46,349 --> 00:19:49,917
Everyone is invited to
enjoy this delicious,
475
00:19:50,052 --> 00:19:52,620
energy-providing, thirst-quenching drink.
476
00:19:52,755 --> 00:19:53,954
Okay, everyone.
477
00:19:54,090 --> 00:19:56,156
(man) But not the Muslims, though, right?
478
00:19:56,259 --> 00:19:58,392
No, Muslims can enjoy it as well, yes.
479
00:19:58,527 --> 00:20:01,195
- (man) Or Jews?
- (man 2) The Jews run the media!
480
00:20:01,330 --> 00:20:04,098
No, no, uh, Rupert Murdoch
runs the media, folks.
481
00:20:04,233 --> 00:20:05,799
(man) Rupert Murdoch's a Jew?
482
00:20:05,902 --> 00:20:08,002
No, no, that's not what I'm saying.
483
00:20:08,137 --> 00:20:09,336
Rupert Murdoch is not a Jew.
484
00:20:09,505 --> 00:20:13,407
(crowd chanting) Rupert
Murdoch is secretly a Jew!
485
00:20:15,678 --> 00:20:18,579
- Okay, no, he's not and...
- (chanting continues)
486
00:20:18,681 --> 00:20:20,714
Why am I defending Rupert Murdoch?
487
00:20:20,816 --> 00:20:22,049
All right, you know what, I'm gonna...
488
00:20:22,184 --> 00:20:24,184
just take these down if that's okay.
489
00:20:24,287 --> 00:20:26,520
Don't take the...
490
00:20:26,656 --> 00:20:28,589
(crowd gasping)
491
00:20:28,724 --> 00:20:30,357
Oh, Alice!
492
00:20:32,094 --> 00:20:34,328
What've you done, you idiot?!
493
00:20:34,430 --> 00:20:35,996
Alice?
494
00:20:36,098 --> 00:20:37,698
(man) He's killed the people's princess.
495
00:20:37,833 --> 00:20:38,666
(man 2) Get him!
496
00:20:38,801 --> 00:20:41,835
(crowd clamoring)
497
00:20:41,971 --> 00:20:43,370
(Rachel) Someone call an ambulance!
498
00:20:43,506 --> 00:20:46,573
(panting)
499
00:20:46,709 --> 00:20:49,009
Jesus Christ, they're gonna kill me.
500
00:20:50,713 --> 00:20:52,313
(murmuring)
501
00:20:53,783 --> 00:20:55,950
(man) He's in there!
502
00:20:59,088 --> 00:21:00,721
(man) Where'd he go?
503
00:21:06,295 --> 00:21:08,262
- (man) There's one of 'em.
- (woman) Racist scum!
504
00:21:08,397 --> 00:21:09,462
(man 2) Get him! Fascist!
505
00:21:18,463 --> 00:21:20,463
Stop! Take me to the hospital!
506
00:21:20,464 --> 00:21:27,464
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- www.addic7ed.com -
507
00:21:27,514 --> 00:21:32,064
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