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Todd Margaret: I'm not so sure
this is a good idea, guys.
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00:00:15,798 --> 00:00:17,016
[ alarm sounding ]
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"Conclusion"
Original Air Date on February 10, 2012 [S02E06]
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00:00:20,551 --> 00:00:22,977
TV announcer: And so, the biggest
trial in British history begins today.
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00:00:22,987 --> 00:00:25,152
On his way to the courthouse there,
Todd Margaret, for what
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will hopefully be the first
public execution since 1888.
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== sync and corrected by Lisina ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==
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Brent Wilts: Todd,
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I know you're scared, but I gotta
concentrate and you are bummin' me out.
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Look-- don't worry, all right.
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00:00:41,232 --> 00:00:42,904
Doug is out there poundin' the streets,
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00:00:42,914 --> 00:00:45,972
and he's not gonna stop until
you take your final breath.
13
00:00:45,982 --> 00:00:47,515
Plus, Alice is looking for Dave.
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00:00:47,525 --> 00:00:49,351
He'll think of something--
He's a smart guy.
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00:00:49,361 --> 00:00:52,122
I thought you said Dave was
the bad guy in all of this.
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00:00:52,287 --> 00:00:54,337
I've gotta look at these notes.
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00:00:56,150 --> 00:00:57,210
It's gonna be okay.
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00:00:57,220 --> 00:00:59,715
We've got everything we need right here.
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00:01:00,165 --> 00:01:01,202
Where was I?
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00:01:02,647 --> 00:01:03,797
Yeah, page two.
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00:01:03,807 --> 00:01:06,410
[ shouting and pounding ]
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00:01:07,070 --> 00:01:08,363
It's all your fans.
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00:01:08,373 --> 00:01:12,077
We are watching live pictures of Todd Margaret
on his way to the Old Bailey courthouse.
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00:01:12,161 --> 00:01:14,622
Our reporter, Snivel Chalks,
is on the scene. Snivel?
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00:01:15,122 --> 00:01:16,877
Snivel Chalks: It's absolute
chaos here at the courthouse.
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Passions are running high as
the nation comes together
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00:01:19,131 --> 00:01:21,468
in outrage at the crimes
of the typical American.
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00:01:21,478 --> 00:01:23,291
We've all done a bit of
rubbing and feeling, yeah.
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00:01:23,301 --> 00:01:25,438
But what I wanna know is,
what's he gonna do with that dildo.
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00:01:25,448 --> 00:01:27,541
I mean, yeah, she was fit,
but that was when she was alive.
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00:01:27,610 --> 00:01:29,394
She's dead now,
she'll be rotten-- disgusting!
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00:01:29,404 --> 00:01:31,432
President Obama has again
moved to distance himself from
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00:01:31,442 --> 00:01:35,235
Todd Margaret, in an attempt to heal
relations between Washington and London.
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The list of charges includes:
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attempted manslaughter with a truck,
the willful destruction of human organs...
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00:01:40,486 --> 00:01:42,543
The theft and release of megathrax,
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00:01:43,030 --> 00:01:44,864
unlicensed public nudity,
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unlicensed use of an industrial strength
dildo, and attempted necrophilia
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00:01:49,864 --> 00:01:52,684
on the number one cash cow of
the British tourist trade.
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00:01:52,694 --> 00:01:55,276
Your honor, the evidence is
overwhelming and we wish
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not to cost the state anymore monies
than have already been spent,
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00:02:04,071 --> 00:02:05,071
Agree...
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00:02:06,283 --> 00:02:07,383
To disagree.
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00:02:08,064 --> 00:02:10,264
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
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00:02:10,541 --> 00:02:12,692
a grave and substantial responsibility
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00:02:12,702 --> 00:02:15,833
has been given to each and
everyone of us here today.
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00:02:16,991 --> 00:02:19,334
You're gonna hear a lot
in the coming days from
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00:02:19,344 --> 00:02:22,208
my esteemed colleague
from across the aisle.
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00:02:22,277 --> 00:02:24,249
He's gonna make claims such as,
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00:02:24,259 --> 00:02:29,173
"Wah, Todd margawet took a leak
on my wittle war memorial."
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00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:34,183
Or "Wah, Todd Margaret broke into my aunt
bee's office and jerked me off to death."
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00:02:34,625 --> 00:02:38,561
Or "Wah, Todd Margaret dropped
my liver in a garbage can."
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00:02:38,629 --> 00:02:40,329
Well, boo, fuckin', hoo!
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00:02:41,288 --> 00:02:45,149
I have never seen a bigger bunch of
cry-baby pussies in my entire life!
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00:02:45,159 --> 00:02:46,066
I mean, good god!
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00:02:46,076 --> 00:02:48,576
I hope Todd did commit all these crimes.
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00:02:50,725 --> 00:02:53,643
Todd Margaret is not
on trial here today.
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00:02:54,321 --> 00:02:55,321
No--
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00:02:56,114 --> 00:03:01,114
The entire English judicial system is.
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00:03:02,788 --> 00:03:07,788
[ music ]
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00:03:16,855 --> 00:03:18,084
Alice Bell: Skinny.
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00:03:18,566 --> 00:03:22,114
Your honor, I would like to
call some character witnesses
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00:03:22,124 --> 00:03:25,978
to the stand to attest
to my client's niceness.
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00:03:25,988 --> 00:03:28,052
Doug Whitney: Lord Mountford,
can I speak with you?
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00:03:28,121 --> 00:03:30,755
Pam: Are you meant to
get these things on!
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00:03:30,765 --> 00:03:34,649
Lord Mountford, insist I
speak with you at once!
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00:03:34,659 --> 00:03:37,063
Doug Whitney-- Doug
Whitney and associates.
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00:03:37,573 --> 00:03:39,532
Please, don't speak with me that way!
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00:03:39,542 --> 00:03:41,018
They're broken.
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00:03:47,654 --> 00:03:52,654
And just what did this, supposed,
vile and awful man say to you?
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00:03:53,348 --> 00:03:55,482
He said he liked my hat.
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00:03:56,098 --> 00:03:58,778
I'm sorry-- what's that?
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- He said he liked my hat.
- "My hat."
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00:04:03,045 --> 00:04:06,844
He said, "I like your hat."
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00:04:08,535 --> 00:04:10,447
- How'd that make you feel?
- Terrible.
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00:04:10,457 --> 00:04:13,369
This is a dastar, it's a religious
head-covering. It's not a hat.
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00:04:13,379 --> 00:04:16,839
I've gotta deal with this kind
of ignorance all the time.
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00:04:17,376 --> 00:04:20,556
It's on your head-- It's a
fuckin' hat, dude. Next.
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00:04:22,479 --> 00:04:25,216
Hello-- could you state
your name for the, uh,
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00:04:25,226 --> 00:04:26,744
court writer lady, please?
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00:04:26,754 --> 00:04:27,817
Uh, Brian Chrisik,
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00:04:27,827 --> 00:04:32,014
the Ipswich molester.
oh, uh, the Southport sodemizer.
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00:04:32,024 --> 00:04:33,532
The beast of Birmingham.
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00:04:33,542 --> 00:04:35,992
Uh, the Plymouth Playground predator.
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00:04:36,002 --> 00:04:37,861
Uh, the boy butcher of Bolton.
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The Belgian nuisance.
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00:04:38,663 --> 00:04:40,295
Okay, we get it, mr. Chrisik,
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you're well traveled.
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00:04:41,964 --> 00:04:44,464
You've known Todd, uh, quite awhile now.
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00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:46,960
He strike you as a bad guy?
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00:04:46,970 --> 00:04:48,469
Oh, no, no, not at all, no.
92
00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:51,806
I mean, he seems just like, uh,
you know, just like any of us.
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00:04:51,816 --> 00:04:53,308
Oh, thank you.
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00:04:54,870 --> 00:04:56,845
Just like any of them.
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00:04:57,850 --> 00:05:00,636
Your honor, um, could I talk
to whoever's in charge?
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00:05:00,646 --> 00:05:01,423
Overruled!
97
00:05:01,433 --> 00:05:03,289
If it pleases the court, your majesty--
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00:05:03,299 --> 00:05:04,486
Your honor!
99
00:05:04,944 --> 00:05:08,657
Thank you-- I'd like to take this
opportunity to address the jury.
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00:05:08,885 --> 00:05:11,431
Just... One second.
101
00:05:14,997 --> 00:05:17,132
No, no, no, no, no.
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00:05:18,067 --> 00:05:23,067
[ music ]
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Yeah, got ya!
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00:05:45,202 --> 00:05:46,206
You object!
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00:05:46,216 --> 00:05:47,430
Fuck you, judge!
106
00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:50,262
I object! Bam, that's
the Hammer comin' down!
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00:05:55,906 --> 00:05:59,656
Hey, big guy, you do realize
what a menu is, right?
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00:05:59,666 --> 00:06:00,813
It's a list of choices.
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00:06:00,823 --> 00:06:02,737
You don't have to eat 'em all.
110
00:06:02,926 --> 00:06:05,447
Oh, look, Bridget Jones.
Who's lookin' after your cat?
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00:06:05,516 --> 00:06:07,116
Your tub of ice cream?
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00:06:07,931 --> 00:06:09,399
Hey, gorgeous.
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00:06:09,409 --> 00:06:12,654
You know what I'd love
to see you in: 1987.
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00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:15,818
Bitch, your cooch is drier than
the dessert he crawled out of.
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00:06:15,828 --> 00:06:16,750
Oh, no, Abdul!
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00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:18,554
Uh-oh, did I insult you?
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00:06:18,564 --> 00:06:20,107
Please, don't bomb me.
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00:06:20,117 --> 00:06:22,964
Come on, buddy, don't you got
a cab you gotta go stink up?
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00:06:24,449 --> 00:06:25,798
How, kimosabe.
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00:06:25,808 --> 00:06:29,413
Pemmican in a teepee
back in the old pueblo?
121
00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:32,503
Oh-- hey, mate, shouldn't
you be around the pub
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00:06:32,513 --> 00:06:34,644
binge drinking and eating
your shit food and
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00:06:34,712 --> 00:06:37,313
my Mcviddies and having
some fucking tea?
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00:06:37,323 --> 00:06:38,310
Well, guess what!
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00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:41,116
I got a tea bag for ya, England!
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00:06:41,126 --> 00:06:44,465
The world's most boring, fucking people!
127
00:06:44,475 --> 00:06:45,381
Objection, your honor.
128
00:06:45,391 --> 00:06:47,157
"Objection-objection-objection!"
129
00:06:47,226 --> 00:06:49,260
"Mommy, mommy, mommy!
Oh, no, mommy, mommy, mommy,
130
00:06:49,329 --> 00:06:53,151
"please, don't let the big bad
American boy make me feel bad."
131
00:06:53,161 --> 00:06:57,803
"Oh, mommy, mommy, please, can I have some more
hot cocoa, 'cause I spilled it on me jumper."
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00:06:57,872 --> 00:06:59,050
That's you!
133
00:07:11,079 --> 00:07:12,884
Hello, you look absolutely lovely.
134
00:07:12,952 --> 00:07:14,418
Toodle-loo.
135
00:07:17,923 --> 00:07:20,399
Lord Mountford, I insist
that I am Doug Whit...
136
00:07:20,409 --> 00:07:21,792
...Ney and I...
137
00:07:21,802 --> 00:07:25,662
What the bloody hell is going on?
138
00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:27,671
Who are you?
139
00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:30,712
uh... I-I'm sorry.
Maybe this is a bad time.
140
00:07:30,722 --> 00:07:33,072
Well, it's certainly not a good time.
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00:07:36,262 --> 00:07:38,340
Can I speak to you about
you about your son, David?
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00:07:38,350 --> 00:07:40,310
He's at the old bailey--
143
00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:41,011
Great.
144
00:07:41,021 --> 00:07:43,491
Listen, I need you to get a
message to Todd Margaret.
145
00:07:43,501 --> 00:07:44,888
Yes, the Todd Margaret!
146
00:07:45,354 --> 00:07:49,066
Tell him to hold tight.
I think I can save his life.
147
00:07:54,081 --> 00:07:55,752
TV announcer: Breaking news
at the Todd Margaret trial.
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00:07:55,762 --> 00:07:57,066
We are live to Snivel Chalks.
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00:07:57,135 --> 00:07:59,769
Snivel, what is the news?
150
00:07:59,837 --> 00:08:02,329
Snivel: I'm just hearing news
that diplomatic relations
151
00:08:02,339 --> 00:08:05,402
are now set to thaw between
the U.S. and the U.K.
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00:08:05,412 --> 00:08:07,887
with the discovery of
uncontroversial evidence
153
00:08:07,897 --> 00:08:10,224
that Todd Margaret is,
in fact, a British citizen,
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00:08:10,234 --> 00:08:12,884
adopted as an infant by
an American couple.
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00:08:18,715 --> 00:08:20,044
Wilts: Your majesty,
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00:08:20,054 --> 00:08:22,958
permission to blow a hole
in this case so wide,
157
00:08:22,968 --> 00:08:24,992
even I'd be able to fuck it.
158
00:08:28,571 --> 00:08:31,163
I'd like to introduce some
important new evidence that
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00:08:31,173 --> 00:08:34,067
I believe will exonerate my client.
160
00:08:34,136 --> 00:08:35,902
Todd Margaret was, as a small baby,
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00:08:35,971 --> 00:08:37,971
adopted by an American couple.
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00:08:38,273 --> 00:08:41,074
And while that fact alone
may seem insignificant,
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00:08:41,637 --> 00:08:45,479
I am holding in my hand
proof that he was indeed
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00:08:45,548 --> 00:08:48,874
born in Leeds, England!
165
00:08:52,209 --> 00:08:54,189
Todd: Wait, what? So, that means--
166
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,195
Yeah!
167
00:08:55,205 --> 00:08:56,479
That's right, man!
168
00:08:56,489 --> 00:08:57,899
In your face!
169
00:08:58,560 --> 00:08:59,560
We did it, buddy!
170
00:08:59,570 --> 00:09:00,564
Oh, my god!
171
00:09:00,574 --> 00:09:01,926
I wasn't lying, after all.
172
00:09:01,936 --> 00:09:03,336
I-I am from Leeds!
173
00:09:03,888 --> 00:09:04,895
It's over!
174
00:09:04,905 --> 00:09:06,617
Let's get outta here, huh?
175
00:09:06,627 --> 00:09:08,065
Take these off me.
176
00:09:08,075 --> 00:09:09,325
I'm goin' home!
177
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:12,306
Stand down, Mr. Margaret.
178
00:09:13,422 --> 00:09:14,490
But I'm from Leeds!
179
00:09:14,500 --> 00:09:17,340
Didn't you hear? I wasn't lying!
180
00:09:17,677 --> 00:09:21,837
You are not charged with
lying about being from Leeds.
181
00:09:21,847 --> 00:09:24,818
But... I'm from Leeds.
182
00:09:24,828 --> 00:09:26,655
Who gives a shit!
183
00:09:27,825 --> 00:09:30,326
What more do you people want?
184
00:09:31,842 --> 00:09:33,936
That is reasonable doubt!
185
00:09:33,946 --> 00:09:35,749
No, it is not!
186
00:09:36,175 --> 00:09:37,313
I get it!
187
00:09:37,323 --> 00:09:38,582
You're on the take.
188
00:09:38,592 --> 00:09:39,653
You all are!
189
00:09:39,663 --> 00:09:41,762
This whole thing is a scam!
190
00:09:41,772 --> 00:09:43,910
How much they payin' you, brotha!
191
00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:44,920
Mr. Wilts,
192
00:09:45,446 --> 00:09:46,595
I've warned you once.
193
00:09:46,605 --> 00:09:49,205
I'm now holding you
in contempt of court.
194
00:09:49,215 --> 00:09:50,038
Guards!
195
00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:50,935
W-w-wait-wait-
196
00:09:50,945 --> 00:09:52,011
Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait--
197
00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:53,246
Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait--
198
00:09:53,314 --> 00:09:55,648
Wait-wait-wait-wait--
199
00:09:55,945 --> 00:09:57,736
Wait a second.
200
00:09:58,875 --> 00:10:02,124
I would like to call to the
stand my super, top-secret,
201
00:10:02,134 --> 00:10:03,624
bomb shell surprise.
202
00:10:04,005 --> 00:10:07,655
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
please welcome to the stand,
203
00:10:08,201 --> 00:10:09,439
Mr. Todd Margaret.
204
00:10:09,449 --> 00:10:11,266
Come on, give it up! Come on, Todd.
205
00:10:11,335 --> 00:10:13,522
[ collective grumbling ]
206
00:10:13,532 --> 00:10:16,771
I thought you said putting the defendant
on the stand was an act of desperation.
207
00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:19,374
Look, desperate times call for
desperate measures, all right?
208
00:10:19,442 --> 00:10:21,608
I just need you to stall for
awhile-- I've got a plan.
209
00:10:21,868 --> 00:10:22,868
Where's Mr. Whitney?
210
00:10:22,878 --> 00:10:25,018
Don't worry about this.
This is gonna work-- trust me.
211
00:10:25,028 --> 00:10:27,915
So, uh, mr. Margaret,
you're new to London
212
00:10:27,925 --> 00:10:30,516
and you're here to, uh,
sell Thunder Muscle, is that it?
213
00:10:30,585 --> 00:10:34,186
Tell us a little bit
about that, if you could.
214
00:10:49,460 --> 00:10:52,838
Hello, hello, hello, hello, everyone!
215
00:10:54,676 --> 00:10:56,009
Taxi!
216
00:10:56,078 --> 00:10:58,225
I'm runnin'-- I'm jumpin'!
217
00:10:58,235 --> 00:10:59,978
I'm skippin' along!
218
00:10:59,988 --> 00:11:03,084
Alice: Hello, David Mountford.
It's Alice Bell.
219
00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:05,887
I know who you really
are and I'm on my way
220
00:11:05,956 --> 00:11:07,830
to the courthouse right now
with evidence that you're
221
00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:09,662
behind all this shit that's
been happening to Todd.
222
00:11:09,672 --> 00:11:14,087
Mammy, how I love ya,
how I love ya, my dear old mammy...
223
00:11:14,097 --> 00:11:16,865
...Um, improvisation is a Latin
word meaning "not scripted."
224
00:11:16,934 --> 00:11:19,267
So, what I'm gonna do is
take your suggestions,
225
00:11:19,277 --> 00:11:22,185
uh, from the audience and
create a scene with them,
226
00:11:22,195 --> 00:11:25,374
and I'll just need some suggestions,
like, uh, occupation.
227
00:11:25,384 --> 00:11:27,042
Let's start with an occupation.
228
00:11:27,110 --> 00:11:28,677
Judge, really?
229
00:11:28,745 --> 00:11:30,745
Perfect, judge. Okay, uh, judge--
230
00:11:30,814 --> 00:11:32,108
How appropriate.
231
00:11:33,096 --> 00:11:37,511
Okay, uh, I just need
an emotion, an emotion.
232
00:11:39,959 --> 00:11:40,959
Just...
233
00:11:40,969 --> 00:11:41,916
Horny.
234
00:11:41,926 --> 00:11:43,725
Great, horny-- great!
235
00:11:45,595 --> 00:11:47,896
Todd Margaret has no business
being in this country.
236
00:11:48,535 --> 00:11:52,214
Oh, my penis is huge and
it's not goin' down!
237
00:11:52,224 --> 00:11:54,436
Erection, your honor!
238
00:11:54,446 --> 00:11:55,412
Sustained!
239
00:11:55,422 --> 00:11:56,571
Gavel, gavel, gavel.
240
00:11:57,035 --> 00:11:58,883
Ow, that's my penis.
241
00:11:59,910 --> 00:12:01,844
And scene.
242
00:12:03,619 --> 00:12:07,483
Come on, that's improv. It doesn't have
to be as funny as scripted comedy.
243
00:12:12,712 --> 00:12:15,212
Let's stick to the facts.
Okay, yes-- you're right.
244
00:12:15,222 --> 00:12:17,927
Your honor, according to
Archibald, no last name,
245
00:12:17,996 --> 00:12:22,908
"Evidence having to do with alleged
facts of offenses charged."
246
00:12:23,566 --> 00:12:25,469
Where is Brent Wilts?
247
00:12:26,408 --> 00:12:29,208
- Are you all right, sir?
- Yeah-- thank you.
248
00:12:33,931 --> 00:12:37,580
"The burden of proof, verdict,
and subsequent procedure."
249
00:12:37,648 --> 00:12:40,615
"If the contention that
the defendant is..."
250
00:12:40,684 --> 00:12:43,051
..."refer to all five law lords."
251
00:12:43,119 --> 00:12:45,632
"Lord Morris referred to the
fact that lord Herschel--"
252
00:12:45,642 --> 00:12:46,579
Mr. Margaret!
253
00:12:46,589 --> 00:12:48,299
This charade has gone on long enough.
254
00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:50,255
Or has it, your honor?
255
00:12:50,265 --> 00:12:51,588
Yes, it has.
256
00:12:51,598 --> 00:12:53,078
I shall now bring this trial to a close.
257
00:12:53,088 --> 00:12:54,652
Wait, wait, wait, wait, Wait!
258
00:12:54,662 --> 00:12:56,998
I-I have some famous-- some
famous last words, your honor.
259
00:12:57,066 --> 00:12:59,016
If I-if I could just, please.
260
00:13:00,404 --> 00:13:05,017
Um... The past two weeks have
been really, really weird,
261
00:13:05,027 --> 00:13:09,777
but, um, I didn't do any of those
other things you're saying.
262
00:13:09,846 --> 00:13:14,108
I did none of them! I didn't murder!
I didn't intent to rape. I didn't terrorize.
263
00:13:14,118 --> 00:13:15,136
I didn't do any of those--
264
00:13:15,146 --> 00:13:16,357
Enough!
265
00:13:16,367 --> 00:13:19,498
If you're not gonna call anymore
witnesses, I shall officially end--
266
00:13:19,508 --> 00:13:21,089
Wait, again.
267
00:13:21,157 --> 00:13:23,057
I do have one person.
268
00:13:23,331 --> 00:13:25,994
I have one person I can call.
269
00:13:26,063 --> 00:13:27,843
The only person who's been
270
00:13:27,853 --> 00:13:30,258
decent to me in this country,
271
00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:32,718
The only person who's sweet and pure...
272
00:13:33,944 --> 00:13:35,538
And knows the real me.
273
00:13:39,545 --> 00:13:40,695
It's ringing!
274
00:13:42,019 --> 00:13:43,019
Mehtap.
275
00:13:46,984 --> 00:13:48,825
It we-it went to, uh, voicemail.
276
00:13:48,835 --> 00:13:50,585
Is that it, Mr. Margaret?
277
00:13:51,291 --> 00:13:52,555
There's Alice,
278
00:13:52,921 --> 00:13:56,503
but I'm not sure her head's
in the right place, really.
279
00:13:56,792 --> 00:13:59,678
I shall now ask the jury to
retire to consider their verdict.
280
00:13:59,688 --> 00:14:01,331
No need-- we're good.
281
00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:02,400
Guilty?
282
00:14:02,434 --> 00:14:03,434
Of course.
283
00:14:05,869 --> 00:14:09,472
Under the powers vested me by the
crown and the country of England,
284
00:14:09,541 --> 00:14:14,341
I hereby find the defendant,
Todd Margaret, guilty as charged
285
00:14:14,718 --> 00:14:17,639
and sentence you to be hung
by the neck until just before
286
00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:22,649
death when you'll be removed, revived,
and then drawn and quartered.
287
00:14:24,358 --> 00:14:27,792
Coverage will begin tonight on BBC 2...
288
00:14:35,431 --> 00:14:37,648
Dave: Bravo-- well done!
289
00:14:37,658 --> 00:14:38,571
Dave?
290
00:14:38,581 --> 00:14:40,652
Who's harry potter now?
291
00:14:44,228 --> 00:14:45,278
Hello, sir.
292
00:14:47,481 --> 00:14:48,870
Um, I was just watching some--
293
00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:53,880
Shut up, David-- I've had to leave a very important
meeting to clean up your mess, ironically.
294
00:14:54,113 --> 00:14:55,364
I was having a bit of fun.
295
00:14:55,374 --> 00:14:57,685
People are not pets.
I told you that before, David.
296
00:14:57,695 --> 00:15:00,242
If you can't treat them properly,
it won't be allowed anymore.
297
00:15:00,252 --> 00:15:01,291
But I-I-I--
298
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:03,760
No, "but" nothing! I got you John
Hamm and this is how you act?
299
00:15:03,770 --> 00:15:06,722
Will all due respect, sir.
Uh, you've literally just come from a--
300
00:15:06,732 --> 00:15:08,312
Glass, David.
301
00:15:08,322 --> 00:15:09,429
That's the difference.
302
00:15:09,439 --> 00:15:10,987
They're under glass.
303
00:15:11,403 --> 00:15:14,133
Now, sit down and keep your
mouth shut for the moment,
304
00:15:14,143 --> 00:15:16,272
so I can talk to the judge
and have the case dismissed.
305
00:15:16,282 --> 00:15:19,441
Call Sainsbury's and have that
whole mess takin' care of
306
00:15:19,451 --> 00:15:22,666
and figure out what to do with
this Todd Margaret problem.
307
00:15:22,676 --> 00:15:25,734
Give me Murdoch, Cameron,
Obama and Vilanche.
308
00:15:36,776 --> 00:15:38,549
Guard: Last supper for Todd Margaret.
309
00:15:38,559 --> 00:15:39,909
Todd: Right here.
310
00:15:45,941 --> 00:15:46,941
Thank you.
311
00:15:47,965 --> 00:15:50,114
Oh, do you have any,
uh, Chinese mustard?
312
00:15:53,429 --> 00:15:56,180
I don't really have
much of an appetite...
313
00:15:57,562 --> 00:15:58,962
...But it is free.
314
00:16:03,184 --> 00:16:04,204
Mmm!
315
00:16:04,214 --> 00:16:05,289
Will you open the cell?
316
00:16:05,299 --> 00:16:06,299
Yes, sir.
317
00:16:08,212 --> 00:16:09,466
I haven't finished my soup yet.
318
00:16:09,476 --> 00:16:13,107
Okay, Mr. Margaret, who I am is not
important and you're not to ask.
319
00:16:13,117 --> 00:16:15,137
Now, here's what's happening.
320
00:16:15,147 --> 00:16:18,419
I have pulled some strings.
I am going to make this all go away.
321
00:16:18,429 --> 00:16:19,558
All charges will be dropped.
322
00:16:19,568 --> 00:16:23,925
I have seen to it that you will be released
from prison forthwith and your record expunged.
323
00:16:23,935 --> 00:16:26,827
You will be given 300 pounds,
a new jumper, and an iPod.
324
00:16:27,381 --> 00:16:31,491
However, one problem remains.
325
00:16:31,501 --> 00:16:35,971
You are required to leave the U.K.,
but you are an international pariah.
326
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:38,136
The Americans won't have you back,
327
00:16:38,146 --> 00:16:40,830
and after checking, literally,
with every embassy on earth,
328
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:43,511
it seems there are only two
countries willing to take you.
329
00:16:43,579 --> 00:16:45,679
The first is Turks and Caicos.
The second, North Korea.
330
00:16:45,748 --> 00:16:48,416
I would weight this choice
very carefully, Mr. Margaret.
331
00:16:48,484 --> 00:16:50,984
This is no time to make a poor decision.
332
00:16:54,256 --> 00:16:59,256
I have had my fill of turks lately,
and I do like sushi, so...
333
00:16:59,930 --> 00:17:00,930
Korea.
334
00:17:05,743 --> 00:17:08,865
All right. North Korea it is then.
335
00:17:08,875 --> 00:17:10,373
Here's your passport.
336
00:17:11,243 --> 00:17:15,690
And as soon as you've finished Your
[foreign word ] dumplings, we'll be off.
337
00:17:15,700 --> 00:17:16,700
Todd Moon?
338
00:17:17,004 --> 00:17:20,284
I have to have a Korean last name,
a whole new identity?
339
00:17:20,353 --> 00:17:21,886
That is your real identity.
340
00:17:21,955 --> 00:17:25,123
We checked your records at the
hospital where you were born in Leeds.
341
00:17:25,552 --> 00:17:28,242
It says here I was born in 1970.
342
00:17:31,946 --> 00:17:34,629
Wait, I'm fo-- I'm 41!
343
00:17:34,639 --> 00:17:36,540
I thought I was 35!
344
00:17:36,550 --> 00:17:38,435
I just lost six years!
345
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:40,589
Oh, my god!
346
00:17:41,722 --> 00:17:43,015
Which ones?
347
00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:48,195
Oh, all right.
348
00:17:50,614 --> 00:17:55,614
[ music ]
349
00:18:07,723 --> 00:18:09,173
I'll get some wine.
350
00:18:28,379 --> 00:18:29,379
What?
351
00:18:37,011 --> 00:18:40,471
This Todd Margaret chap must've done
something pretty horrid to you.
352
00:18:40,481 --> 00:18:42,393
Dave: Oh, father, it was the worst.
353
00:18:42,403 --> 00:18:45,381
You remember when I went to the States
last month for the Portland Loop Regatta?
354
00:18:45,391 --> 00:18:46,391
Mmm.
355
00:18:46,401 --> 00:18:49,797
Well, whilst I was there, my mates and I,
we went for a drink in a bar.
356
00:18:49,807 --> 00:18:52,187
Wilts: I really need the falcons
to cover the spread on this one.
357
00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:54,242
I cannot go back to
Spokane empty-handed.
358
00:18:54,252 --> 00:18:56,659
Let me just take these drinks to
my friends and I'll be right back.
359
00:18:56,727 --> 00:18:57,826
No, no, no, no, no.
360
00:18:58,371 --> 00:18:59,371
Oh, come on!
361
00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:02,318
Oh, fudge it-- nurse!
362
00:19:02,408 --> 00:19:03,224
Watch it!
363
00:19:03,234 --> 00:19:05,701
Oh, oh, geez, sorry about that.
364
00:19:05,711 --> 00:19:10,065
You bloody wanker! You massive muppet!
You've ruined my trousers!
365
00:19:10,075 --> 00:19:13,709
Todd: Hey, Harry Potter's here...
And they're called "pants," asshole.
366
00:19:13,777 --> 00:19:14,877
[ laughing ]
367
00:19:15,997 --> 00:19:17,193
Can I buy you a drink?
368
00:19:17,203 --> 00:19:18,982
What happened to your accent?
369
00:19:18,992 --> 00:19:20,315
Oh, you think I'm that English guy?
370
00:19:20,384 --> 00:19:21,813
No, no, no-- which one is he?
371
00:19:21,823 --> 00:19:23,766
Whatever... Hey, hey,
372
00:19:24,762 --> 00:19:27,625
I-I just wanna get laid,
so take me home.
373
00:19:27,635 --> 00:19:29,192
Yeah-- oh, god, yeah-yeah.
374
00:19:29,260 --> 00:19:30,913
Where-where we goin'?
375
00:19:30,923 --> 00:19:34,037
Do the accent. Do the accent
for me. Will you do that?
376
00:19:34,047 --> 00:19:38,908
Okay, hello, hello, hello, me name's Todd
Margaret and I'm a right bleedin' sod, I am.
377
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:43,871
You-- those guys that were just here,
tell me everything you know about them.
378
00:19:44,723 --> 00:19:47,716
Yeah, so, that's about it, really.
379
00:19:47,726 --> 00:19:50,712
Well, I don't agree with what
you did, but I'm proud of you.
380
00:19:50,722 --> 00:19:52,420
You showed real ingenuity.
381
00:19:52,430 --> 00:19:56,414
I just wish you'd put the same amount of
creative energy into something more worth while,
382
00:19:56,424 --> 00:19:58,825
like overthrowing equatorial
Guinea or something.
383
00:19:58,835 --> 00:20:02,278
Still, you're a responsible
rebel and I love you.
384
00:20:11,908 --> 00:20:13,958
I've gotta warn ya, not pretty.
385
00:20:15,523 --> 00:20:17,354
I don't know. She's all right.
386
00:20:17,364 --> 00:20:18,953
What are the tits like?
387
00:20:18,963 --> 00:20:20,942
I'll get them out of the drawer.
388
00:20:22,211 --> 00:20:23,945
Todd! Todd-- it's your old man!
389
00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:25,480
I've come...
390
00:20:25,549 --> 00:20:27,349
here to save you.
391
00:20:27,417 --> 00:20:28,928
Oh, well.
392
00:20:29,201 --> 00:20:30,452
Oh, yeah, no problem at all.
393
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:34,089
My real dad's from Pyongyang, so I can
totally head up your nuclear office.
394
00:20:34,158 --> 00:20:39,158
[ music ]
395
00:20:46,969 --> 00:20:49,438
Brent, where you been
the last two weeks?
396
00:20:49,947 --> 00:20:52,662
I've... Been traveling.
397
00:20:53,570 --> 00:20:55,446
You comin' to the corporate fun day?
398
00:20:55,456 --> 00:20:57,506
Stacy's organizing the karaoke.
399
00:20:57,866 --> 00:20:59,716
Should be a real adventure!
400
00:21:25,476 --> 00:21:27,180
Doug: You know, it doesn't
really make any sense.
401
00:21:27,190 --> 00:21:29,713
How could Global National,
even if it was a shell company,
402
00:21:29,723 --> 00:21:33,673
buy this entire company without ever
really communicating with them?
403
00:21:33,688 --> 00:21:37,167
And how could Dave know that
Brent Wilts, at that exact
404
00:21:37,177 --> 00:21:39,575
moment, would walk by when
Todd Margaret's listening
405
00:21:39,585 --> 00:21:41,816
to those self-help
CD's back in Portland?
406
00:21:41,826 --> 00:21:43,825
And also, it doesn't really
make sense that Doug Whitney
407
00:21:43,835 --> 00:21:45,203
would come to the u.K.,
408
00:21:45,213 --> 00:21:47,862
when he wasn't technically
fired in the first place.
409
00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:50,141
Hey, Dave!
410
00:22:15,094 --> 00:22:16,293
Hello?
411
00:22:16,303 --> 00:22:17,194
Hello?
412
00:22:17,204 --> 00:22:18,204
Anybody!
413
00:22:22,086 --> 00:22:24,736
I suppose there is a
certain irony to this.
414
00:22:24,786 --> 00:22:29,336
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