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Previously,
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on "The Increasingly Poor
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"Decisions of Todd Margaret..."
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Todd Margaret: Did we sell
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any "?"
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Dave: No, not a single can,
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not a one.
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Mehtap: I have heard of this.
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If you're interested in
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the drinks, here are my deets.
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Todd.
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Whitney: Please, don't
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speak-- that's unnecessary.
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Brent Wilts: You are
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fucking fired!
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Get the fuck out!
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Hudson: Hello-- I'm Hudson.
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I'm directing
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the new Cribs video.
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After you.
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We think you'd be
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the perfect new face
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for "Thunder Muscle."
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Alice: Todd!
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You said you're allergic
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to nuts.
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Ah!
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-- sync by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
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He's gonna be okay.
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Just a massive erection.
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Shat himself.
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In Which Brent Wilts Arrives and
Things Take a Turn for the Worse Original Air Date on October 22, 2010 [S01E04]
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The charges include:
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Insurance fraud, breaking
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and entering, espionage,
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forgery, embezzlement, perjury,
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bribery, rubber checking,
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unnecessary public nudity.
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Silence in the court!
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A twelve-year-old boy
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in Dandong, China
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successfully defended
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his two younger brothers
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from a bear attack, using
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a makeshift molotov cocktail
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made from what turned out
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to be a can of lethal,
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radioactive energy drink.
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Ew!
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Pam: Oh, hello, Mr. Mar--
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what-what's that smell?
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Oh, that's disgusting.
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Uh, I-- yeah.
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No, I-I was at dinner
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at a friend's, and we--
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did one wf my kids come over
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and shit in your clothes?
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Yes-- yes, they did.
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Malibu, Disaronno.
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What have you been doing?
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It's all right.
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I'm sorry.
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Let me clean 'em up for ya.
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No-no-no-- no worries.
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Honestly, it's no bother.
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I'll just get the dog
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to lick 'em clean.
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Oh, it was a false alarm about
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the whole giving birth thing.
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Yeah-- it was just
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a bedsore that opened up.
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So, anytime you wanna shag,
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just let me know.
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Okay-- thank you.
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Hey, Todd-- how are you?
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You feeling better?
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Yeah-yeah.
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I'm-I'm-I'm much better.
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Thanks.
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Uh, I just wanted to, uh,
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say I'm sorry about last night,
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and, uh, I'm definitely going
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to replace anything I broke.
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Yeah, I know you will.
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I figured out
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a payment plan, though.
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Uh, I could pay you in kisses--
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ten easy installments of 20.
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No-- I'll just take the cash.
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Okay-- um, and also,
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I will definitely replace
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those kitchen drapes.
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Sorry about that.
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I mean, I'd say
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"have 'em cleaned," but
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I think that shit'll stain.
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Yeah, th-that's worked out
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okay, actually, 'cause I need
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to get them replaced anyway.
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I need something,
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um, flame resistant
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that doesn't absorb radiation
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'cause of the salad
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I wanna make.
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Well, glad to be of service.
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Hey, Todd.
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Hey, Hudson.
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Oh, also, I have a business
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proposition for you.
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Oh, yeah, Dave called about
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shooting your commercial here.
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That's fine.
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Cool.
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Good publicity for the cafe.
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You're shooting
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a commercial here?
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Yeah, the Steve Davis
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commercial I was telling you
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about last night.
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He's bigger than Beckham.
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Oh, who's directing?
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Anyone I know?
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Uh...
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You do have a Director,
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right?
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Uh, you're looking at him.
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It's a commercial.
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How hard can it be?
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Okay-- well, I'm around,
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if you need any help.
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Well, "if you need
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"any help, I'm around.
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"I'm the directing robot."
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Thanks a lot.
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I think I got it covered,
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Dudley do right.
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Have fun doing
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your other Cribs video.
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Alice, I'll see you later.
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And, Hudson, watch out
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for low-lying branches.
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'Cause I'm tall, right?
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Yeah, no shit-- Jesus!
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Dave?
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Dave!
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How could I have been so stupid?
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When did you say
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you arrived?
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Uh, four days ago,
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but as a kid,
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I spent my summers in Leeds.
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My dad and I would go
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to the park every Saturday
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and watch "The Who."
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No, no-- here, the office.
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Oh-- uh, uh, 30 minutes ago.
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I called you,
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as soon as I got here.
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Okay.
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And how old is this Dave?
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Mid-20s to late 20s.
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And what's his surname?
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Uh, I don't...
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You don't know
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the last name or age
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of your sole employee?
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Well, he's my director
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of strategy.
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How did he come
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to be hired by you?
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Oh, I didn't hire him.
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He was, uh, he was just--
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this is gonna seem funny now,
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but he was just here
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when I arrived.
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Uh-huh.
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And was the product insured?
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So, let me get this straight.
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You were robbed of 32 crates
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of "Thunder Muscle," which is
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an awesome, new energy drink
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that tastes great.
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Yeah.
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Attention, everyone.
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Be on the lookout for a guy,
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mid-20s or late 20s,
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don't really know, who may
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or may not be named Dave--
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don't really know that either--
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with approximately 32 crates
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of a tasty, new energy drink.
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Is that about right?
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Come on, man.
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Look, mate.
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You haven't really given us
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much to go on here.
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We've got your statements
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and your information,
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Mr. Margaret.
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We'll be in touch,
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if we learn of anything.
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I'll hold onto this
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for the investigation.
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Okay.
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It is a pound per can, officer.
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Oh.
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Hello.
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Hey, fuck face,
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it's Wilts.
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Hi.
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So, I was thinking
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about swinging by the office.
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Check in on the wonder boy.
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What?
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You-you're in London already?
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Yeah.
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I'm at the Piccadilly.
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There's some pretty
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sweet talent in here, too.
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I think that little
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Brent Wilts is gonna be
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one happy guy.
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You brought your son?
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No, my cock, you idiot!
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I just gotta figure out
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which ones are whores
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and which ones are normies.
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Anyway, why don't you give me
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the address over there?
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No-no-no-no-- uh,
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the-the office is closed today.
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There was a sewage leak,
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a poo bomb terror.
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I'm gonna come over
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to your hotel, okay?
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Fine-- whatever.
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Hi.
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I'd like to check out, please.
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Room 204.
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Hi, there-- I'm American.
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Do you speak English?
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'Cause I speak French
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and Greek, if you know
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what I'm sayin'.
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Oh, get lost, you pig.
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Oh, I'm a pig?
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I bet your bush smells
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like Chinatown during
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a heat wave-- boom!
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That's the hammer comin' down.
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...Hotel.
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Is Piccadilly one word or three?
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Look, pal.
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I had a misunderstanding with
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this bitch, but everything
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has been taken care of.
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I-I paid her off, so we're cool.
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Yes, but, sir,
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we-we expect certain standards
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from our guests.
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Tell me about it.
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I'm out 300 bucks.
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In that case, there's
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an established protocol
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you can follow.
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Hey, fuck protocol.
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What do you want me to do?
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Call the ambassador
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over to the king?
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Hey, there he is!
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Hey, Mr. Wilts.
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How's it goin'?
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Dry is how it's goin'.
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It's like a fuckin'
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nunnery in here.
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Gotta get my dick wet-- god!
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Where you gettin'
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your pussy from, Todd?
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Oh, uh, uh, well, there's
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this girl here I like, Alice.
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You know, we've been out on
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a couple of dates, sort of.
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You tap that shit, yet?
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Uh, well, we talk a lot,
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you know, and, uh,
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yeah, she's pretty neat.
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Uh, but I want her to get to
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know me a little bit better,
289
00:07:09,348 --> 00:07:10,115
you know, get comfortable
290
00:07:10,149 --> 00:07:10,982
with me before
291
00:07:11,017 --> 00:07:12,183
her shit gets tapped.
292
00:07:12,218 --> 00:07:12,951
Yeah, listen.
293
00:07:12,985 --> 00:07:13,685
I'm not really here
294
00:07:13,719 --> 00:07:14,553
to play matchmaker dot com,
295
00:07:14,587 --> 00:07:15,220
all right?
296
00:07:15,254 --> 00:07:15,954
How much money
297
00:07:15,988 --> 00:07:17,122
are you making me?
298
00:07:17,156 --> 00:07:18,290
Uh, well, sir, the, uh,
299
00:07:18,324 --> 00:07:20,191
all the "Thunder Muscle"
300
00:07:20,226 --> 00:07:22,060
is, uh, gone.
301
00:07:22,094 --> 00:07:25,163
What-- are you serious?
302
00:07:25,197 --> 00:07:26,264
It's all gone?
303
00:07:26,299 --> 00:07:27,432
Yeah, uh--
304
00:07:27,466 --> 00:07:29,100
oh, fuck yes!
305
00:07:29,135 --> 00:07:30,201
Oh, my God!
306
00:07:30,236 --> 00:07:31,303
Thank God!
307
00:07:31,337 --> 00:07:32,804
Oh, man, that's-- oh, God!
308
00:07:32,838 --> 00:07:33,872
I knew I could count on you!
309
00:07:33,906 --> 00:07:35,206
Oh, God!
310
00:07:35,241 --> 00:07:36,308
No-- well, all right.
311
00:07:36,342 --> 00:07:37,208
It's all gone.
312
00:07:37,243 --> 00:07:38,543
You sold all of it, huh?
313
00:07:38,578 --> 00:07:41,212
Ah, so, uh, where's the money?
314
00:07:41,247 --> 00:07:43,748
Um, I, well--
315
00:07:43,783 --> 00:07:44,616
give it to me,
316
00:07:44,650 --> 00:07:46,117
you piece of shit!
317
00:07:51,357 --> 00:07:52,090
Just kidding.
318
00:07:52,124 --> 00:07:53,024
I know.
319
00:07:53,059 --> 00:07:54,259
Oh, but seriously,
320
00:07:54,293 --> 00:07:55,660
when can I get the money?
321
00:07:55,695 --> 00:07:56,595
Today?
322
00:07:56,629 --> 00:07:57,729
Today is not good because
323
00:07:57,763 --> 00:07:58,863
I've got this big marketing
324
00:07:58,898 --> 00:08:00,365
campaign planned, and, uh,
325
00:08:00,399 --> 00:08:01,600
we're actually shooting our
326
00:08:01,634 --> 00:08:02,601
very first commercial today,
327
00:08:02,635 --> 00:08:03,501
and I was thinkin' we could
328
00:08:03,536 --> 00:08:04,603
head over to the set.
329
00:08:04,637 --> 00:08:08,139
Yeah-- I got Steve Davis.
330
00:08:08,174 --> 00:08:10,075
Are you fuckingidding me?
331
00:08:10,109 --> 00:08:11,076
No-- I did a little
332
00:08:11,110 --> 00:08:11,910
wheelin' and dealin'.
333
00:08:11,944 --> 00:08:12,711
What the fuck
334
00:08:12,745 --> 00:08:13,678
are you doing here?
335
00:08:13,713 --> 00:08:14,713
Oh, hi, Mr. Wilts.
336
00:08:14,747 --> 00:08:15,814
Actually, I'm here to ask you
337
00:08:15,848 --> 00:08:16,715
a few questions that
338
00:08:16,749 --> 00:08:17,716
have been bothering me.
339
00:08:17,750 --> 00:08:18,683
There's a few pieces
340
00:08:18,718 --> 00:08:19,618
to your story that don't
341
00:08:19,652 --> 00:08:20,385
seem to add up.
342
00:08:20,419 --> 00:08:21,720
I fucking fired you.
343
00:08:21,754 --> 00:08:22,887
Actually, I never received
344
00:08:22,922 --> 00:08:24,155
any official paperwork
345
00:08:24,190 --> 00:08:25,423
nor my contractually
346
00:08:25,458 --> 00:08:26,958
obligated 28 day notice.
347
00:08:26,993 --> 00:08:28,493
I'm duty bound, as an employee,
348
00:08:28,527 --> 00:08:29,694
to ensure that I fired through
349
00:08:29,729 --> 00:08:30,929
the appropriate channels.
350
00:08:30,963 --> 00:08:31,930
Naturally, I called
351
00:08:31,964 --> 00:08:32,864
Human Resources, but I haven't
352
00:08:32,898 --> 00:08:33,832
heard back from them, but I--
353
00:08:33,866 --> 00:08:34,633
are you out
354
00:08:34,667 --> 00:08:35,367
of your fucking mind?
355
00:08:35,401 --> 00:08:36,167
I will fuck you
356
00:08:36,202 --> 00:08:37,402
in your appropriate channel.
357
00:08:37,436 --> 00:08:39,104
You're fired, still,
358
00:08:39,138 --> 00:08:40,338
again, fucking
359
00:08:40,373 --> 00:08:42,407
to the millionth power!
360
00:08:42,441 --> 00:08:43,441
If you would just let me
361
00:08:43,476 --> 00:08:44,776
finish one sentence--
362
00:08:44,810 --> 00:08:46,378
in our last meeting in Portland,
363
00:08:46,412 --> 00:08:47,445
you didn't let me finish
364
00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:48,413
one sentence, and that's
365
00:08:48,447 --> 00:08:49,381
not the appropriate way
366
00:08:49,415 --> 00:08:50,515
to talk to me in a workplace.
367
00:08:50,549 --> 00:08:51,383
This isn't
368
00:08:51,417 --> 00:08:52,350
a fucking workplace!
369
00:08:52,385 --> 00:08:53,151
It's a shitty British
370
00:08:53,185 --> 00:08:54,285
cunt desert!
371
00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:55,120
I don't even know
372
00:08:55,154 --> 00:08:55,820
what that means!
373
00:08:55,855 --> 00:08:56,855
But I'm a human being,
374
00:08:56,889 --> 00:08:58,056
and as a human being,
375
00:08:58,090 --> 00:08:59,124
as a member
376
00:08:59,158 --> 00:09:00,158
of the family of man,
377
00:09:00,192 --> 00:09:01,626
I ask that you please--
378
00:09:01,661 --> 00:09:02,560
As a human being,
379
00:09:02,595 --> 00:09:03,928
I will literally rip
380
00:09:03,963 --> 00:09:05,196
your fucking balls off
381
00:09:05,231 --> 00:09:06,498
and feed them to you
382
00:09:06,532 --> 00:09:07,999
through your fucking ass.
383
00:09:08,034 --> 00:09:09,034
You got that?
384
00:09:09,068 --> 00:09:10,268
Shut your mouth, Whitney!
385
00:09:10,302 --> 00:09:12,170
Come on, Todd.
386
00:09:12,204 --> 00:09:13,538
Let's go sniff out some beav.
387
00:09:17,543 --> 00:09:18,410
Todd.
388
00:09:18,444 --> 00:09:19,511
Hi, Mr. Whitney.
389
00:09:22,314 --> 00:09:23,682
To the bat cave.
390
00:09:26,252 --> 00:09:27,552
...The Superbowl.
391
00:09:27,586 --> 00:09:28,453
All right.
392
00:09:28,487 --> 00:09:29,521
So, what's the deal here?
393
00:09:29,555 --> 00:09:30,355
Hot potholes,
394
00:09:30,389 --> 00:09:31,089
chicks with dicks,
395
00:09:31,123 --> 00:09:31,890
that kinda thing?
396
00:09:31,924 --> 00:09:32,724
Uh, no.
397
00:09:32,758 --> 00:09:33,692
This is, uh, Steve Davis.
398
00:09:33,726 --> 00:09:34,759
He's bigger than Beckham.
399
00:09:34,794 --> 00:09:36,227
Hey, Steve, my man.
400
00:09:36,262 --> 00:09:37,495
How ya doing?
401
00:09:37,530 --> 00:09:38,463
You psyched?
402
00:09:38,497 --> 00:09:39,531
Steve Davis: Yes.
403
00:09:39,565 --> 00:09:40,899
All right, good.
404
00:09:40,933 --> 00:09:41,633
Todd.
405
00:09:41,667 --> 00:09:42,534
Hey!
406
00:09:42,568 --> 00:09:43,301
It's all very exciting
407
00:09:43,335 --> 00:09:44,269
for me.
408
00:09:44,303 --> 00:09:45,270
Steve Davis.
409
00:09:45,304 --> 00:09:45,970
I figured you could
410
00:09:46,005 --> 00:09:46,805
use the extra coin.
411
00:09:46,839 --> 00:09:47,806
Always.
412
00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:49,007
Hi.
413
00:09:49,041 --> 00:09:50,475
Uh, Todd, I don't mean
414
00:09:50,509 --> 00:09:51,376
to tell you your business,
415
00:09:51,410 --> 00:09:52,377
but are you serious?
416
00:09:52,411 --> 00:09:53,411
What?
417
00:09:53,446 --> 00:09:54,345
When I see an ad
418
00:09:54,380 --> 00:09:55,180
with a chick in it,
419
00:09:55,214 --> 00:09:56,081
she better be a ten.
420
00:09:56,115 --> 00:09:56,915
I wanna be like,
421
00:09:56,949 --> 00:09:57,749
"I wanna fuck you so hard,
422
00:09:57,783 --> 00:09:58,483
"your gynecologist
423
00:09:58,517 --> 00:09:59,350
"is gonna need therapy."
424
00:09:59,385 --> 00:10:00,218
But, I mean, this-this is--
425
00:10:00,252 --> 00:10:02,787
get out of my cafe.
426
00:10:02,822 --> 00:10:04,456
Uh, Mr. Wilts, this is
427
00:10:04,490 --> 00:10:05,757
Alice, the owner of the cafe
428
00:10:05,791 --> 00:10:07,058
we're shooting in, right now.
429
00:10:07,093 --> 00:10:08,259
Alice, this is Brent Wilts,
430
00:10:08,294 --> 00:10:09,694
my boss.
431
00:10:09,729 --> 00:10:11,062
This is your boss?
432
00:10:11,097 --> 00:10:11,896
Wait-- this is
433
00:10:11,931 --> 00:10:12,964
the chick you wanna bang?
434
00:10:12,998 --> 00:10:13,865
No-- what?
435
00:10:13,899 --> 00:10:16,401
No, no-- he's, uh, jetlagged.
436
00:10:16,435 --> 00:10:17,602
He's jetlagged
437
00:10:17,636 --> 00:10:19,170
and, uh, been drinking.
438
00:10:19,205 --> 00:10:20,739
Uh, you know,
439
00:10:20,773 --> 00:10:22,707
gave a lot of blood.
440
00:10:22,742 --> 00:10:24,609
Madam, sorry.
441
00:10:24,643 --> 00:10:25,510
I didn't realize that you
442
00:10:25,544 --> 00:10:26,811
were the owner of this place.
443
00:10:26,846 --> 00:10:28,379
I'm so-so sorry.
444
00:10:28,414 --> 00:10:30,181
I mistook you
445
00:10:30,216 --> 00:10:32,550
for some off the street,
446
00:10:32,585 --> 00:10:34,285
scraggety cooze.
447
00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:36,488
So, if you'll permit me,
448
00:10:36,522 --> 00:10:40,158
I would love to take a dump.
449
00:10:40,192 --> 00:10:41,893
Uh, it's right over there.
450
00:10:41,927 --> 00:10:42,694
Great.
451
00:10:42,728 --> 00:10:44,195
Looking forward to it.
452
00:10:44,230 --> 00:10:45,864
I, you know,
453
00:10:45,898 --> 00:10:46,631
it's one of those things.
454
00:10:46,665 --> 00:10:47,398
I think he's nervous
455
00:10:47,433 --> 00:10:48,166
to meet you.
456
00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:48,900
Yeah.
457
00:10:48,934 --> 00:10:49,834
I-I don't think that's it.
458
00:10:49,869 --> 00:10:51,069
Well, it, uh--
459
00:10:51,103 --> 00:10:53,104
so, um, so, you're
460
00:10:53,139 --> 00:10:56,074
thinking about banging me?
461
00:10:56,108 --> 00:10:57,008
No-- Alice, no.
462
00:10:57,042 --> 00:10:58,877
God, no-no-no-no.
463
00:10:58,911 --> 00:11:01,412
Well, what's wrong with me?
464
00:11:01,447 --> 00:11:03,181
Nothing-- oh, my God,
465
00:11:03,215 --> 00:11:04,783
Alice, nothing's wrong.
466
00:11:04,817 --> 00:11:05,617
No, no.
467
00:11:05,651 --> 00:11:07,051
You're-- I-I would happily
468
00:11:07,086 --> 00:11:08,386
bang you, if that's what,
469
00:11:08,420 --> 00:11:10,421
I mean, if that was what you--
470
00:11:10,456 --> 00:11:11,256
Todd, it's okay.
471
00:11:11,290 --> 00:11:13,391
I'm just messing with you.
472
00:11:13,425 --> 00:11:15,760
Oh, what fun you are.
473
00:11:15,795 --> 00:11:19,197
No, I don't-- it's all right.
474
00:11:19,231 --> 00:11:20,331
I don't, uh, think of you
475
00:11:20,366 --> 00:11:21,566
in that way.
476
00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:22,433
Why-- I'm not desirable
477
00:11:22,468 --> 00:11:24,169
to you?
478
00:11:24,203 --> 00:11:25,770
No-- I mean, yes.
479
00:11:25,805 --> 00:11:26,838
I mean, yes,
480
00:11:26,872 --> 00:11:27,806
you are desirable.
481
00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:29,207
I-I mean, if I--
482
00:11:29,241 --> 00:11:30,108
I'm sorry, Todd.
483
00:11:30,142 --> 00:11:31,242
This is just too easy.
484
00:11:31,277 --> 00:11:33,978
I'm-I'm just gonna go over here.
485
00:11:34,013 --> 00:11:35,280
Can we get going here?
486
00:11:35,314 --> 00:11:36,414
There's an interesting
487
00:11:36,448 --> 00:11:37,415
program on telly
488
00:11:37,449 --> 00:11:38,449
I wanna watch at 6:00.
489
00:11:38,484 --> 00:11:39,350
It's an in-depth look
490
00:11:39,385 --> 00:11:40,718
at the history of doors.
491
00:11:40,753 --> 00:11:42,420
Yeah, sure-- uh, okay.
492
00:11:42,454 --> 00:11:43,588
You got a script, right?
493
00:11:43,622 --> 00:11:45,123
No, I wasn't given one.
494
00:11:45,157 --> 00:11:46,424
Uh.
495
00:11:46,458 --> 00:11:47,358
It's all right.
496
00:11:47,393 --> 00:11:48,827
I'm brilliant at improv.
497
00:11:48,861 --> 00:11:50,061
Okay-- all right, good.
498
00:11:50,095 --> 00:11:51,229
Well, uh, all you gotta do
499
00:11:51,263 --> 00:11:52,230
is take a seat here.
500
00:11:52,264 --> 00:11:53,097
We're just gonna
501
00:11:53,132 --> 00:11:54,065
turn the camera on.
502
00:11:54,099 --> 00:11:55,066
You take a drink
503
00:11:55,100 --> 00:11:56,034
of the "Thunder Muscle."
504
00:11:56,068 --> 00:11:56,835
"I'm Steve Davis.
505
00:11:56,869 --> 00:11:57,869
"I drink Thunder Muscle
506
00:11:57,903 --> 00:11:59,070
"when I play Snucker."
507
00:11:59,104 --> 00:12:00,438
Yeah, mate-- it's "Snooker."
508
00:12:00,472 --> 00:12:01,539
Yeah, that's what I said,
509
00:12:01,574 --> 00:12:02,740
"when I play Snucker."
510
00:12:02,775 --> 00:12:03,541
No, it's pronounced
511
00:12:03,576 --> 00:12:04,475
"Snooker."
512
00:12:04,510 --> 00:12:05,543
Yeah, okay-- are you good?
513
00:12:05,578 --> 00:12:06,578
Why am in a cafe?
514
00:12:06,612 --> 00:12:07,545
Shouldn't I be
515
00:12:07,580 --> 00:12:08,580
at a Snooker table?
516
00:12:08,614 --> 00:12:10,682
Uh, yeah, sure.
517
00:12:10,716 --> 00:12:11,516
Alice, do you have
518
00:12:11,550 --> 00:12:12,851
a Snucker table?
519
00:12:12,885 --> 00:12:14,219
No, I'm sorry.
520
00:12:14,253 --> 00:12:14,719
We don't have one.
521
00:12:14,753 --> 00:12:15,753
You'll have to make due
522
00:12:15,788 --> 00:12:16,821
with that table.
523
00:12:16,856 --> 00:12:17,956
What is Snucker, anyway?
524
00:12:17,990 --> 00:12:18,857
And why do you
525
00:12:18,891 --> 00:12:19,791
have a pool cue?
526
00:12:19,825 --> 00:12:20,658
Don't worry about it.
527
00:12:20,693 --> 00:12:22,227
Let's jib down, zoom in,
528
00:12:22,261 --> 00:12:23,695
and we'll do a pan push,
529
00:12:23,729 --> 00:12:25,463
and action.
530
00:12:29,668 --> 00:12:30,602
Oh, God!
531
00:12:30,636 --> 00:12:31,636
No-no-no-no, Steve.
532
00:12:31,670 --> 00:12:33,037
Cut, cut-- Steve, no.
533
00:12:33,072 --> 00:12:34,038
Uh, you love it.
534
00:12:34,073 --> 00:12:34,839
No, I hate it.
535
00:12:34,874 --> 00:12:35,940
It's bloody awful.
536
00:12:35,975 --> 00:12:37,041
Okay, well, uh,
537
00:12:37,076 --> 00:12:38,209
but act like you love it.
538
00:12:38,244 --> 00:12:40,011
Take two,
539
00:12:40,045 --> 00:12:41,646
Steve Davis commercial.
540
00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:42,480
He shouldn't be--
541
00:12:42,514 --> 00:12:43,448
you probably shouldn't
542
00:12:43,482 --> 00:12:44,415
drink too much of that
543
00:12:44,450 --> 00:12:45,316
maybe, because--
544
00:12:45,351 --> 00:12:46,951
Alice, please?
545
00:12:46,986 --> 00:12:48,019
Don't-don't tell an actor
546
00:12:48,053 --> 00:12:49,487
how to do his job.
547
00:12:49,521 --> 00:12:50,955
Oh.
548
00:12:50,990 --> 00:12:51,756
Yeah, okay.
549
00:12:51,790 --> 00:12:52,757
Sorry about that, Steve.
550
00:12:52,791 --> 00:12:53,558
Go ahead.
551
00:12:53,592 --> 00:12:54,592
I'm Steve Davis,
552
00:12:54,627 --> 00:12:56,628
and I love "Thunder Muscle."
553
00:12:56,662 --> 00:12:58,863
Oh, yeah.
554
00:12:58,898 --> 00:13:00,465
"When I play--"
555
00:13:00,499 --> 00:13:02,400
when I play--
556
00:13:02,434 --> 00:13:03,701
"Snucker--"
557
00:13:03,736 --> 00:13:04,969
Snooker.
558
00:13:05,004 --> 00:13:05,803
Right,
559
00:13:05,838 --> 00:13:06,838
"when I play snucker."
560
00:13:06,872 --> 00:13:07,772
Snooker!
561
00:13:07,806 --> 00:13:08,573
Right,
562
00:13:08,607 --> 00:13:09,440
"when I play Snucker."
563
00:13:09,475 --> 00:13:10,475
Snooker!
564
00:13:10,509 --> 00:13:11,509
Um, Todd, maybe,
565
00:13:11,543 --> 00:13:12,410
um, I don't know.
566
00:13:12,444 --> 00:13:13,344
I could give Hudson a ring.
567
00:13:13,379 --> 00:13:14,178
Maybe get him down--
568
00:13:14,213 --> 00:13:15,113
no, I don't need Hudson
569
00:13:15,147 --> 00:13:16,915
to-to-to-to do this.
570
00:13:16,949 --> 00:13:18,016
This is a-- it's a shooting
571
00:13:18,050 --> 00:13:18,917
a commercial.
572
00:13:18,951 --> 00:13:20,051
I know how to do this.
573
00:13:20,085 --> 00:13:21,119
It's easy-- okay.
574
00:13:21,153 --> 00:13:22,220
All right, here we go.
575
00:13:22,254 --> 00:13:23,521
Okay.
576
00:13:23,555 --> 00:13:25,023
Steve, I want you to think
577
00:13:25,057 --> 00:13:26,691
of this can of "Thunder Muscle"
578
00:13:26,725 --> 00:13:29,260
as your long lost lover, okay?
579
00:13:29,295 --> 00:13:30,561
You haven't seen her,
580
00:13:30,596 --> 00:13:32,196
or him, whatever,
581
00:13:32,231 --> 00:13:35,800
in nine, maybe ten years,
582
00:13:35,834 --> 00:13:37,101
going on ten years, okay,
583
00:13:37,136 --> 00:13:38,336
'cause there's a war on.
584
00:13:38,370 --> 00:13:40,138
And you find it after years,
585
00:13:40,172 --> 00:13:41,673
and you embrace,
586
00:13:41,707 --> 00:13:43,074
and you open it up,
587
00:13:43,108 --> 00:13:45,043
and you chug her down, okay?
588
00:13:45,077 --> 00:13:46,277
And you love it,
589
00:13:46,312 --> 00:13:49,347
and ready, and action.
590
00:13:49,381 --> 00:13:51,049
And eye-fuck that can, Davis!
591
00:13:51,083 --> 00:13:52,116
Think of your eyes
592
00:13:52,151 --> 00:13:53,918
as two big dicks.
593
00:13:53,953 --> 00:13:56,220
Ex-excellent note.
594
00:13:56,255 --> 00:13:57,121
Good note, but also
595
00:13:57,156 --> 00:13:58,890
shh because-- okay.
596
00:13:58,924 --> 00:14:00,191
Action!
597
00:14:00,225 --> 00:14:01,726
I'm Steve Davis.
598
00:14:06,398 --> 00:14:07,265
Okay, and
599
00:14:07,299 --> 00:14:08,499
"I drink Thunder Muscle."
600
00:14:08,534 --> 00:14:09,500
Yeah, I know-- I was
601
00:14:09,535 --> 00:14:10,802
pausing for dramatic effect.
602
00:14:10,836 --> 00:14:12,003
Oh, okay, sorry.
603
00:14:12,037 --> 00:14:14,605
And action!
604
00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:15,807
I'm Steve Davis,
605
00:14:15,841 --> 00:14:17,542
international Snooker player
606
00:14:17,576 --> 00:14:19,277
and "Thunder Muscle" drinker.
607
00:14:19,311 --> 00:14:20,278
No-- okay, cut.
608
00:14:20,312 --> 00:14:21,379
Cut-- all right.
609
00:14:21,413 --> 00:14:22,380
You're doing great, buddy.
610
00:14:22,414 --> 00:14:23,781
Here it is.
611
00:14:23,816 --> 00:14:28,486
Steve, you're dying, okay?
612
00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:30,488
Of ass aids.
613
00:14:30,522 --> 00:14:33,024
Of ass aids, and
614
00:14:33,058 --> 00:14:34,559
the only thing that can cure
615
00:14:34,593 --> 00:14:37,095
you is "Thunder Muscle," okay?
616
00:14:37,129 --> 00:14:38,496
And you know where it is.
617
00:14:38,530 --> 00:14:39,664
There's a can remaining,
618
00:14:39,698 --> 00:14:41,432
but the prince of eldar
619
00:14:41,467 --> 00:14:43,001
has locked it up,
620
00:14:43,035 --> 00:14:44,302
the evil prince of eldar,
621
00:14:44,336 --> 00:14:45,336
and put it at the top
622
00:14:45,371 --> 00:14:46,871
of a tower made of-of--
623
00:14:46,905 --> 00:14:48,439
sand!
624
00:14:48,474 --> 00:14:49,073
Sand.
625
00:14:49,108 --> 00:14:50,074
Like "The Mummy!"
626
00:14:50,109 --> 00:14:50,908
Okay.
627
00:14:50,943 --> 00:14:51,976
"The Mummy Two!"
628
00:14:52,011 --> 00:14:53,378
The-the-the "Returns!"
629
00:14:53,412 --> 00:14:54,579
So, you get up to tower,
630
00:14:54,613 --> 00:14:55,480
and you're like,
631
00:14:55,514 --> 00:14:57,348
"finally, I'm gonna live!
632
00:14:57,383 --> 00:14:58,449
"I'm gonna live, damn it!
633
00:14:58,484 --> 00:14:59,617
"I'm Steve Davis,
634
00:14:59,651 --> 00:15:01,119
"and I got somethin' to--"
635
00:15:01,153 --> 00:15:02,186
they snatch the can away.
636
00:15:02,221 --> 00:15:04,288
Oh!
637
00:15:04,323 --> 00:15:06,157
But from upon high
638
00:15:06,191 --> 00:15:07,392
is a twinkling twinkle
639
00:15:07,426 --> 00:15:09,260
that comes and flits
640
00:15:09,294 --> 00:15:10,895
and lands right here,
641
00:15:10,929 --> 00:15:12,063
and it whispers into your ear,
642
00:15:12,097 --> 00:15:13,231
"Steve Davis.
643
00:15:13,265 --> 00:15:14,465
"Steve Davis.
644
00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:16,401
"For the first time,
645
00:15:16,435 --> 00:15:17,902
"Thunder Muscle is available
646
00:15:17,936 --> 00:15:20,471
"in stores."
647
00:15:20,506 --> 00:15:21,439
Holy shit!
648
00:15:21,473 --> 00:15:22,573
And action!
649
00:15:22,608 --> 00:15:24,142
Oh, no, this is Mountford.
650
00:15:24,176 --> 00:15:24,942
You gotta tell me
651
00:15:24,977 --> 00:15:26,144
how this ends.
652
00:15:26,178 --> 00:15:27,278
I'm Steve Davis,
653
00:15:27,312 --> 00:15:28,880
and I love "Thunder Muscle,"
654
00:15:28,914 --> 00:15:30,581
which I drink--
655
00:15:30,616 --> 00:15:32,150
"when I play--"
656
00:15:32,184 --> 00:15:33,251
when I play--
657
00:15:33,285 --> 00:15:34,285
"Snucker."
658
00:15:34,319 --> 00:15:35,219
Look, mate.
659
00:15:35,254 --> 00:15:36,320
The word is "Snooker."
660
00:15:36,355 --> 00:15:37,088
I keep saying--
661
00:15:37,122 --> 00:15:37,822
Snooker!
662
00:15:37,856 --> 00:15:38,689
Snooker!
663
00:15:38,724 --> 00:15:40,958
Snooker!
664
00:15:40,993 --> 00:15:41,893
Snucker.
665
00:15:41,927 --> 00:15:42,894
Snooker!
666
00:15:42,928 --> 00:15:43,761
Get it right!
667
00:15:43,796 --> 00:15:44,562
It's not Snicker!
668
00:15:44,596 --> 00:15:45,329
Not Snacker!
669
00:15:45,364 --> 00:15:46,130
Ow!
670
00:15:46,165 --> 00:15:46,964
Snooker!
671
00:15:46,999 --> 00:15:47,698
Ow!
672
00:15:47,733 --> 00:15:48,533
Snooker!
673
00:15:48,567 --> 00:15:49,333
Snooker!
674
00:15:49,368 --> 00:15:50,001
Snooker!
675
00:15:50,035 --> 00:15:50,735
Ow!
676
00:15:50,769 --> 00:15:51,869
Get off him!
677
00:15:51,904 --> 00:15:52,870
You're not getting paid
678
00:15:52,905 --> 00:15:53,871
for that.
679
00:15:53,906 --> 00:15:55,273
You've already paid me!
680
00:15:55,307 --> 00:15:56,507
Just get out-- out!
681
00:15:56,542 --> 00:15:58,009
You've really let yourself
682
00:15:58,043 --> 00:15:59,777
down today, Steve Davis.
683
00:15:59,812 --> 00:16:01,479
I said that you'll get it.
684
00:16:01,513 --> 00:16:02,680
Just give me one more day.
685
00:16:02,714 --> 00:16:04,048
Goddamn it!
686
00:16:04,083 --> 00:16:06,184
All right, Margaret,
687
00:16:06,218 --> 00:16:07,251
I need that money.
688
00:16:07,286 --> 00:16:08,052
All right,
689
00:16:08,087 --> 00:16:08,853
just leave him alone.
690
00:16:08,887 --> 00:16:09,654
He's been beaten up by
691
00:16:09,688 --> 00:16:10,455
an elderly Snooker player.
692
00:16:10,489 --> 00:16:11,155
What are you doing?
693
00:16:11,190 --> 00:16:12,190
I gotta borrow your wallet.
694
00:16:12,224 --> 00:16:14,692
Okay-- I don't need that.
695
00:16:14,726 --> 00:16:16,661
So, I gotta go take care
696
00:16:16,695 --> 00:16:17,728
of some business,
697
00:16:17,763 --> 00:16:18,563
but I will see you tomorrow
698
00:16:18,597 --> 00:16:19,664
with that money.
699
00:16:19,698 --> 00:16:20,898
Hey, good luck with
700
00:16:20,933 --> 00:16:22,033
the shoot, you guys.
701
00:16:22,067 --> 00:16:23,501
Looks great.
702
00:16:33,278 --> 00:16:34,779
How was the shoot?
703
00:16:34,813 --> 00:16:36,414
What the hell?
704
00:16:36,448 --> 00:16:37,915
What are you doing here?
705
00:16:37,950 --> 00:16:39,350
Uh, selling "Thunder Muscle."
706
00:16:39,384 --> 00:16:40,184
Where's all
707
00:16:40,219 --> 00:16:41,385
the "Thunder Muscle" you stole?
708
00:16:41,420 --> 00:16:42,787
Excuse me?
709
00:16:42,821 --> 00:16:43,588
Don't get smart
710
00:16:43,622 --> 00:16:44,589
with me, okay?
711
00:16:44,623 --> 00:16:45,690
I saw the security tape.
712
00:16:45,724 --> 00:16:46,924
I called the cops.
713
00:16:46,959 --> 00:16:47,792
Whoa, whoa!
714
00:16:47,826 --> 00:16:48,726
No-- you saw me
715
00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:49,694
on the security tape selling
716
00:16:49,728 --> 00:16:51,062
all the "Thunder Muscle" we had.
717
00:16:51,096 --> 00:16:52,463
I would've thought a "thank you"
718
00:16:52,498 --> 00:16:53,397
and "congratulations"
719
00:16:53,432 --> 00:16:54,365
might be more appropriate
720
00:16:54,399 --> 00:16:55,633
than your hurtful accusations.
721
00:16:55,667 --> 00:16:56,968
You sold
722
00:16:57,002 --> 00:16:58,569
all the "Thunder Muscle?"
723
00:16:58,604 --> 00:16:59,403
Yeah-- the Turkish people
724
00:16:59,438 --> 00:17:00,304
from the news agents,
725
00:17:00,339 --> 00:17:01,139
they came in to buy
726
00:17:01,173 --> 00:17:01,939
all the "Thunder Muscle"
727
00:17:01,974 --> 00:17:02,807
we had in stock.
728
00:17:02,841 --> 00:17:03,641
They called up.
729
00:17:03,675 --> 00:17:04,642
And if I wasn't here, if I was,
730
00:17:04,676 --> 00:17:06,477
say, I don't know, on a date,
731
00:17:06,512 --> 00:17:07,512
we'd have lost the sale.
732
00:17:07,546 --> 00:17:08,813
You're welcome.
733
00:17:08,847 --> 00:17:10,248
What happened to you, anyway?
734
00:17:10,282 --> 00:17:11,249
Oh, I-I don't know how
735
00:17:11,283 --> 00:17:13,084
to pronounce "Snooker."
736
00:17:13,118 --> 00:17:14,519
Uh, all right-- if you sold
737
00:17:14,553 --> 00:17:15,853
all the "Thunder Muscle,"
738
00:17:15,888 --> 00:17:17,188
then you have
739
00:17:17,222 --> 00:17:18,222
all the money, right?
740
00:17:18,257 --> 00:17:19,023
Well, not right now.
741
00:17:19,057 --> 00:17:19,824
They said they'd
742
00:17:19,858 --> 00:17:20,558
have it for me today.
743
00:17:20,592 --> 00:17:21,292
I was about to go down there
744
00:17:21,326 --> 00:17:22,026
and collect it.
745
00:17:22,060 --> 00:17:22,693
Dave, how dumb
746
00:17:22,728 --> 00:17:23,427
do you think I am?
747
00:17:23,462 --> 00:17:24,228
Hmm.
748
00:17:24,263 --> 00:17:25,096
You wait here.
749
00:17:25,130 --> 00:17:26,330
I'll get the money.
750
00:17:26,365 --> 00:17:27,398
Suit yourself.
751
00:17:27,432 --> 00:17:29,100
Oh, and, Dave?
752
00:17:29,134 --> 00:17:30,101
Yes?
753
00:17:30,135 --> 00:17:31,402
If you're messing with me,
754
00:17:31,436 --> 00:17:33,571
I'm going straight
755
00:17:33,605 --> 00:17:35,306
to written warning.
756
00:17:39,278 --> 00:17:41,245
[ Speaking foreign language ]
757
00:17:43,682 --> 00:17:44,949
Ahmed: Here, here.
758
00:17:44,983 --> 00:17:46,551
Security cameras here,
759
00:17:46,585 --> 00:17:49,253
and we end here.
760
00:17:49,288 --> 00:17:50,321
Uh, I'm-I'm here
761
00:17:50,355 --> 00:17:51,422
for my money.
762
00:17:51,456 --> 00:17:52,557
Todd Margaret,
763
00:17:52,591 --> 00:17:55,159
what a pleasant surprise.
764
00:17:55,194 --> 00:17:56,594
Please, come-- come sit.
765
00:17:56,628 --> 00:17:58,129
Have some tea-- we were
766
00:17:58,163 --> 00:17:59,664
expecting your co-worker.
767
00:17:59,698 --> 00:18:00,665
Yeah, well, I think
768
00:18:00,699 --> 00:18:01,732
he might be a little out
769
00:18:01,767 --> 00:18:03,034
of his depth on this one.
770
00:18:03,068 --> 00:18:03,968
We much prefer
771
00:18:04,002 --> 00:18:05,269
working with you.
772
00:18:05,304 --> 00:18:06,938
Well, I am the boss.
773
00:18:06,972 --> 00:18:08,306
I should give you your check.
774
00:18:08,340 --> 00:18:09,540
Osmon, where is the check
775
00:18:09,575 --> 00:18:10,875
for Todd Margaret that
776
00:18:10,909 --> 00:18:12,944
I happily wrote out earlier?
777
00:18:12,978 --> 00:18:14,045
Yes, Ahmed.
778
00:18:14,079 --> 00:18:15,112
You asked me to send it
779
00:18:15,147 --> 00:18:16,480
to the victims of Haiti, and
780
00:18:16,515 --> 00:18:17,715
you would write another one.
781
00:18:17,749 --> 00:18:18,916
You're-you're still
782
00:18:18,951 --> 00:18:20,084
giving money to Haiti?
783
00:18:20,118 --> 00:18:21,285
Every day.
784
00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:23,621
It's a Turkish custom.
785
00:18:23,655 --> 00:18:27,291
Hey, Mehtap.
786
00:18:27,326 --> 00:18:30,561
Hey-- okay.
787
00:18:30,596 --> 00:18:31,996
Ow!
788
00:18:32,030 --> 00:18:33,698
Now, I will remember you
789
00:18:33,732 --> 00:18:35,366
forever.
790
00:18:37,269 --> 00:18:38,736
Where is the checkbook?
791
00:18:38,770 --> 00:18:39,870
Where, Osmon?
792
00:18:39,905 --> 00:18:40,838
Where is the checkbook,
793
00:18:40,872 --> 00:18:42,206
so that I may write another
794
00:18:42,241 --> 00:18:43,708
check for Todd Margaret here?
795
00:18:43,742 --> 00:18:44,742
You only have one check
796
00:18:44,776 --> 00:18:45,776
left, sir, and you
797
00:18:45,811 --> 00:18:47,144
wanted to use it to pay
798
00:18:47,179 --> 00:18:48,012
for your wife's operation.
799
00:18:48,046 --> 00:18:49,914
Nonsense-- bring it here.
800
00:18:49,948 --> 00:18:51,616
It is more important that
801
00:18:51,650 --> 00:18:53,184
Todd Margaret get paid,
802
00:18:53,218 --> 00:18:54,785
right away.
803
00:19:16,074 --> 00:19:17,742
Can I have some more tea?
804
00:19:17,776 --> 00:19:20,478
Yes-- yes, of course.
805
00:19:20,512 --> 00:19:23,347
Mehtap, more tea, more tea.
806
00:19:25,517 --> 00:19:27,918
Okay, here we are.
807
00:19:27,953 --> 00:19:33,024
A check, sir, for 30,000 pounds.
808
00:19:33,058 --> 00:19:34,225
Here.
809
00:19:34,259 --> 00:19:35,459
Great-- I'm so--
810
00:19:35,494 --> 00:19:36,527
no, I cannot
811
00:19:36,561 --> 00:19:37,695
do this to a friend.
812
00:19:37,729 --> 00:19:38,729
No-no-no.
813
00:19:38,764 --> 00:19:39,497
Where are my manners?
814
00:19:39,531 --> 00:19:40,398
What are you doing?
815
00:19:40,432 --> 00:19:41,299
I am ashamed of myself!
816
00:19:41,333 --> 00:19:42,133
What?
817
00:19:42,167 --> 00:19:42,933
Who am I to
818
00:19:42,968 --> 00:19:43,934
write you a check?
819
00:19:43,969 --> 00:19:45,202
Kissing your feet
820
00:19:45,237 --> 00:19:46,904
and bathing your buttocks.
821
00:19:46,938 --> 00:19:48,506
No-- only the best for you.
822
00:19:48,540 --> 00:19:49,940
Only the best.
823
00:19:49,975 --> 00:19:54,478
Here-- cash.
824
00:19:54,513 --> 00:19:56,147
Oh, n- I should probably
825
00:19:56,181 --> 00:19:57,548
take a check.
826
00:19:57,582 --> 00:19:59,250
Absolutely not.
827
00:19:59,284 --> 00:20:00,818
You are my best friend.
828
00:20:00,852 --> 00:20:02,119
Take the cash.
829
00:20:02,154 --> 00:20:03,621
It is better for all of us.
830
00:20:03,655 --> 00:20:05,189
No paper trail.
831
00:20:05,223 --> 00:20:06,057
Yeah-- no.
832
00:20:06,091 --> 00:20:06,857
I don't think my boss
833
00:20:06,892 --> 00:20:07,958
is really gonna approve.
834
00:20:07,993 --> 00:20:10,795
Oh, but who is this boss?
835
00:20:10,829 --> 00:20:12,863
Nobody tells Todd Margaret
836
00:20:12,898 --> 00:20:17,702
what to do-- take the cash.
837
00:20:17,736 --> 00:20:18,602
I'll take--
838
00:20:18,637 --> 00:20:19,737
I'll take the cash.
839
00:20:19,771 --> 00:20:20,938
Good.
840
00:20:28,113 --> 00:20:28,813
Hi.
841
00:20:28,847 --> 00:20:29,914
Thirty-two Avington Court,
842
00:20:29,948 --> 00:20:30,915
please.
843
00:20:30,949 --> 00:20:31,916
Yes, it's 68 pounds,
844
00:20:31,950 --> 00:20:33,384
forty-four pence.
845
00:20:33,418 --> 00:20:36,487
I only need another 72,000
846
00:20:36,521 --> 00:20:38,289
pounds more, give or take.
847
00:20:38,323 --> 00:20:39,724
Room service.
848
00:20:44,196 --> 00:20:44,962
Seven twenty, please, mate.
849
00:20:44,996 --> 00:20:45,830
There you go.
850
00:20:45,864 --> 00:20:47,064
Keep the change.
851
00:20:47,099 --> 00:20:48,399
I can't accept this.
852
00:20:48,433 --> 00:20:49,300
Oh, come on.
853
00:20:49,334 --> 00:20:50,401
You drove wonderfully,
854
00:20:50,435 --> 00:20:51,535
and I just made a big sale.
855
00:20:51,570 --> 00:20:52,937
No, it's not that.
856
00:20:52,971 --> 00:20:53,871
No, I'm fairly confident
857
00:20:53,905 --> 00:20:55,005
this is a forgery.
858
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:56,006
What-what?
859
00:20:56,041 --> 00:20:57,041
See, as far as I remember,
860
00:20:57,075 --> 00:20:58,943
there's no "y"
861
00:20:58,977 --> 00:20:59,877
in bank of England.
862
00:20:59,911 --> 00:21:00,911
And even if there was,
863
00:21:00,946 --> 00:21:02,279
that's Helen Mirren.
864
00:21:08,687 --> 00:21:10,020
Uh, uh, uh, d-drive back
865
00:21:10,055 --> 00:21:11,155
to the place where you
866
00:21:11,189 --> 00:21:12,289
picked me up from, please,
867
00:21:12,324 --> 00:21:13,124
the news agents.
868
00:21:13,158 --> 00:21:14,525
Go back there, please-- hurry!
869
00:21:14,559 --> 00:21:16,961
I'll pay you double in real--
870
00:21:16,995 --> 00:21:18,829
in real English money.
871
00:21:18,864 --> 00:21:20,164
There you go.
872
00:21:21,533 --> 00:21:22,233
Come on, come on.
873
00:21:22,267 --> 00:21:24,802
Oh, fuck!
874
00:21:24,836 --> 00:21:26,771
Fuck!
875
00:21:26,805 --> 00:21:29,340
Oh, fuck!
876
00:21:29,374 --> 00:21:31,108
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
877
00:21:41,586 --> 00:21:44,388
Um...
878
00:21:44,888 --> 00:21:47,888
-- sync by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
879
00:21:47,938 --> 00:21:52,488
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