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1
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Back in the '80s,
2
00:00:01,383 --> 00:00:04,061
there was no more awesome rite
of passage than Spring Break.
3
00:00:04,270 --> 00:00:06,493
Thanks to MTV's infamous
week-long coverage,
4
00:00:06,646 --> 00:00:08,513
every kid in America wanted to be there.
5
00:00:08,615 --> 00:00:10,748
- Beastie Boys!
- MTV!
6
00:00:10,850 --> 00:00:12,417
- Spring Break!
- 80's!
7
00:00:12,519 --> 00:00:17,055
I cannot believe I'm spending
Spring Break in sucky Jenkintown
8
00:00:17,157 --> 00:00:19,691
instead of on a Fort Lauderdale
beach the way God intended.
9
00:00:19,793 --> 00:00:21,793
I heard that the beer
flows like water down there.
10
00:00:21,895 --> 00:00:24,929
Like, literally, you turn
the faucet on and boom! Beer!
11
00:00:25,031 --> 00:00:26,431
That's 'cause all their water
12
00:00:26,533 --> 00:00:28,366
is reserved for wet T-shirt contests.
13
00:00:28,468 --> 00:00:29,701
The city of Fort Lauderdale
14
00:00:29,769 --> 00:00:32,003
actually elected Spuds
MacKenzie as their mayor!
15
00:00:32,072 --> 00:00:35,340
America's favorite party
dog is their mayor?!
16
00:00:35,408 --> 00:00:36,874
How could we not be
in Florida right now?
17
00:00:36,977 --> 00:00:39,611
Wait a minute, Florida. That's it!
18
00:00:41,114 --> 00:00:42,880
Look! Pops sent us a postcard
19
00:00:42,949 --> 00:00:44,949
from his condo complex
in Fort Lauderdale!
20
00:00:45,018 --> 00:00:46,918
That's ground zero
for all the horniness!
21
00:00:46,953 --> 00:00:48,586
Damn it, why didn't I
actually read his card
22
00:00:48,655 --> 00:00:50,521
instead of automatically
throwing it in the garbage?
23
00:00:50,590 --> 00:00:52,390
Look, Pops says his
place has a beach house
24
00:00:52,459 --> 00:00:53,825
and a pool with a bar!
25
00:00:53,893 --> 00:00:55,526
We had MTV Spring Break under our nose
26
00:00:55,629 --> 00:00:56,728
and didn't even know it.
27
00:00:56,796 --> 00:00:58,363
- We got to get there.
- True, but how?
28
00:00:58,431 --> 00:01:00,164
Question, Can you cry hysterically?
29
00:01:00,267 --> 00:01:01,299
Oh, for sure.
30
00:01:01,368 --> 00:01:03,401
It's well established I'm
an emotional time bomb.
31
00:01:03,470 --> 00:01:04,502
Follow me.
32
00:01:04,571 --> 00:01:06,704
I just miss Pops so much
33
00:01:06,773 --> 00:01:09,474
that I can't stop the sad water
dripping from my eye holes.
34
00:01:09,542 --> 00:01:11,576
And now I'm crying 'cause you're crying.
35
00:01:11,645 --> 00:01:13,311
I miss him, too, Bar.
36
00:01:13,413 --> 00:01:15,079
Wait, this gives me a fresh idea.
37
00:01:15,181 --> 00:01:16,714
What if we went to visit him?
38
00:01:16,783 --> 00:01:19,717
Please, Mom? Let me see
my grandpapa in Georgia?
39
00:01:19,819 --> 00:01:21,019
Florida, honey.
40
00:01:21,087 --> 00:01:22,587
Ugh, so swampy.
41
00:01:22,656 --> 00:01:24,522
Oh, well, this is about Pops and not us.
42
00:01:24,591 --> 00:01:25,590
Well, then, it's decided.
43
00:01:25,692 --> 00:01:26,658
Look out, world!
44
00:01:26,726 --> 00:01:28,960
The Goldbergs are going to Florida!
45
00:01:29,029 --> 00:01:30,395
Oh, yes!
46
00:01:30,463 --> 00:01:32,697
Erica and Barry's Spring
Break dreams were happening!
47
00:01:32,766 --> 00:01:34,365
Stop! Oh, no, wait, here's Murray.
48
00:01:34,467 --> 00:01:35,933
Nobody speak.
49
00:01:36,002 --> 00:01:38,636
There's no way I'm
paying for all you morons
50
00:01:38,672 --> 00:01:41,172
to go gallivanting around
the sub-tropics.
51
00:01:41,207 --> 00:01:43,574
You weren't even in the room.
How do you know what's going on?
52
00:01:43,677 --> 00:01:44,976
I heard money being spent!
53
00:01:45,045 --> 00:01:46,511
Well, there is one way this trip
54
00:01:46,613 --> 00:01:48,446
could cost you a fraction of the price.
55
00:01:48,515 --> 00:01:49,881
Well, that's what I want to do.
56
00:01:49,949 --> 00:01:51,849
That thing. Whatever her cheap idea is.
57
00:01:51,885 --> 00:01:55,053
And so Erica and Barry scored
the ultimate Spring Break,
58
00:01:55,155 --> 00:01:56,254
one without parents.
59
00:01:56,356 --> 00:01:59,090
Spring Break is awesome!
60
00:01:59,159 --> 00:02:01,726
I saw a girl wearing
a bikini on the plane!
61
00:02:01,795 --> 00:02:03,661
- It was unsanitary, but she went for it.
- Damn.
62
00:02:03,763 --> 00:02:05,963
We're not in Jenkintown
anymore, Goldbergs.
63
00:02:06,032 --> 00:02:07,298
Welcome to Spring Break.
64
00:02:07,367 --> 00:02:10,702
Whoa! A female body
inspector? Where do you train?
65
00:02:10,770 --> 00:02:12,337
Wherever female bodies are.
66
00:02:12,439 --> 00:02:13,705
See you fools on the beach.
67
00:02:13,773 --> 00:02:15,673
Really hoping this year I get
to make out with a Beastie Boy.
68
00:02:15,775 --> 00:02:16,808
Fingers crossed!
69
00:02:16,876 --> 00:02:18,743
- This is gonna be so rad!
- The raddest!
70
00:02:18,845 --> 00:02:21,579
Lucky for you, the party has arrived!
71
00:02:21,681 --> 00:02:22,814
Spring Break!
72
00:02:22,916 --> 00:02:25,917
Spring Break! Spring
Break! Spring Break!
73
00:02:26,019 --> 00:02:30,121
Synced and Corrected by YesCool
www.addic7ed.com
74
00:02:30,223 --> 00:02:32,690
It was Spring Break 1980-something,
75
00:02:32,792 --> 00:02:34,992
which typically meant
one thing in Jenkintown...
76
00:02:35,095 --> 00:02:36,828
Damn cold front moving in.
77
00:02:36,930 --> 00:02:38,896
I meant to pull out the
ol' compression socks,
78
00:02:38,998 --> 00:02:40,098
keep that foot blood moving.
79
00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:42,300
Know what else is good for the cold?
80
00:02:42,402 --> 00:02:45,136
Mink, sable, fox. Fur in general.
81
00:02:45,238 --> 00:02:47,405
Yep, back before we
cared about tiny animals,
82
00:02:47,507 --> 00:02:50,708
the fur coat was coveted
by every yenta in America.
83
00:02:50,810 --> 00:02:52,810
What is this? What are
you jamming in my face?
84
00:02:52,912 --> 00:02:54,178
Just a luxurious coat
85
00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:56,147
that shows off how much
my husband loves me.
86
00:02:56,249 --> 00:02:57,382
How many coats do ya need?!
87
00:02:57,484 --> 00:02:59,250
I got you that brown one with the hood.
88
00:02:59,352 --> 00:03:00,885
That was eight years ago!
89
00:03:00,987 --> 00:03:03,588
And so, my mom's quest
for the coat began.
90
00:03:03,690 --> 00:03:05,523
It started with the subliminal messages.
91
00:03:05,625 --> 00:03:10,027
Beverly deserves a fur coat to
show her how I feel and stuff.
92
00:03:10,130 --> 00:03:12,063
[Snoring]
93
00:03:12,165 --> 00:03:15,166
Soon, the hints got less subtle
and just became ugly demands.
94
00:03:15,268 --> 00:03:18,469
For the love of God, just buy
me a stinkin' fur coat already!
95
00:03:18,571 --> 00:03:20,304
Since when do you want a fur coat?
96
00:03:20,407 --> 00:03:21,939
I've been dropping hints
97
00:03:22,041 --> 00:03:24,642
and serving extra meaty
dishes for six months!
98
00:03:24,744 --> 00:03:26,277
Well, you could've just asked.
99
00:03:26,379 --> 00:03:27,979
I would've said no a long time ago.
100
00:03:28,081 --> 00:03:31,282
You do know that Essie and Ginzy
and Linda all have them, right?
101
00:03:31,384 --> 00:03:32,550
I don't know who those people are.
102
00:03:32,652 --> 00:03:33,684
They're my best friends.
103
00:03:33,787 --> 00:03:34,786
You've had dinner with them many times.
104
00:03:34,888 --> 00:03:35,820
But it's fine!
105
00:03:35,922 --> 00:03:37,688
I don't need a warm luxury jacket.
106
00:03:37,791 --> 00:03:40,725
I'll just go out in the
cold and freeze to death.
107
00:03:41,861 --> 00:03:45,229
[Gasps] [Choir music plays]
108
00:03:45,331 --> 00:03:46,564
What's that?
109
00:03:46,666 --> 00:03:48,266
It's a fur coat!
110
00:03:48,368 --> 00:03:50,134
I know. I bought it for you.
111
00:03:50,236 --> 00:03:52,170
Oh, why did you buy it for me?
112
00:03:52,272 --> 00:03:54,305
'Cause I wanted to show
you how I feel and stuff.
113
00:03:54,407 --> 00:03:56,340
It's a fur coat!
114
00:03:56,443 --> 00:03:59,777
It's a fur coat!
115
00:03:59,879 --> 00:04:01,946
It's a fur coat!
116
00:04:02,048 --> 00:04:04,215
A fur coat! A fur coat!
117
00:04:04,317 --> 00:04:06,517
In case it wasn't
clear, it was a fur coat.
118
00:04:06,619 --> 00:04:08,219
It's a fur [bleep] coat!
119
00:04:08,321 --> 00:04:09,587
Ooh, I love you, I love you,
120
00:04:09,689 --> 00:04:11,589
I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you!
121
00:04:11,691 --> 00:04:14,258
She loved the coat and she
made sure everyone knew it.
122
00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:15,493
Beverly, we're starting.
123
00:04:15,595 --> 00:04:17,028
Sure you don't want
to lose the top layer?
124
00:04:17,130 --> 00:04:18,930
I'm fine. Thank you.
125
00:04:19,032 --> 00:04:20,665
My husband bought me a fur coat.
126
00:04:20,767 --> 00:04:22,333
He does very well for himself.
127
00:04:22,435 --> 00:04:25,736
It's safe to say the coat paid
off just as much for my dad.
128
00:04:25,839 --> 00:04:26,737
There you go.
129
00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:28,906
Rib pot pie with no peas or carrots.
130
00:04:29,008 --> 00:04:31,142
It's just crust and meat!
131
00:04:31,244 --> 00:04:32,243
Thank you!
132
00:04:32,345 --> 00:04:34,312
Don't thank me. Thank Minky.
133
00:04:34,414 --> 00:04:35,413
"You're welcome.
134
00:04:35,515 --> 00:04:37,014
I was a great gift!"
135
00:04:37,116 --> 00:04:38,783
And one that could help me, too.
136
00:04:38,885 --> 00:04:40,718
It is a great gift!
137
00:04:40,820 --> 00:04:42,487
Even though it's a sad dead animal
138
00:04:42,555 --> 00:04:44,288
whose spirit still
haunts that dead pelt.
139
00:04:44,357 --> 00:04:45,456
I'd like to borrow it.
140
00:04:45,525 --> 00:04:47,525
Boofaloo, I love you
just as much as this coat,
141
00:04:47,594 --> 00:04:49,627
but there's no way I'm
ever taking it off my body.
142
00:04:49,729 --> 00:04:50,962
What if I told you there's a way
143
00:04:51,030 --> 00:04:52,797
Minky can be on national television
144
00:04:52,866 --> 00:04:55,433
and discussed by consistent
working actor Jack Palance?
145
00:04:55,535 --> 00:04:57,935
He's in all those Westerns
and other stuff. Go on!
146
00:04:58,004 --> 00:05:00,171
There's a new show called
"Ripley's Believe It or Not!"
147
00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:01,706
And I have a surefire way to get on it.
148
00:05:01,741 --> 00:05:04,842
But it all hinges on your
amazing, deeply upsetting coat.
149
00:05:04,911 --> 00:05:07,478
Nothing would fill my friends
with more red-hot jealousy
150
00:05:07,547 --> 00:05:09,046
than my coat being famous.
151
00:05:09,115 --> 00:05:10,114
So it's a yes?
152
00:05:10,183 --> 00:05:12,149
Not just yet. I have terms.
153
00:05:12,218 --> 00:05:15,686
Giving you my prized Minky is
done only with the understanding
154
00:05:15,755 --> 00:05:17,221
that I trust you as an adult.
155
00:05:17,290 --> 00:05:18,823
An adult? Wow. Big step.
156
00:05:18,892 --> 00:05:22,059
Go make my coat a star, Schmoo.
157
00:05:22,128 --> 00:05:25,296
So, we're saying Bigfoot was
spotted in suburban Philly?
158
00:05:25,365 --> 00:05:26,797
That's the beauty of the show,
159
00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:29,100
it's up to them to believe it or not.
160
00:05:29,168 --> 00:05:30,868
Please, no one in their right mind
161
00:05:30,970 --> 00:05:33,437
would ever buy that
Sasquatch hangs near a Wawa.
162
00:05:33,540 --> 00:05:36,173
Aah! Bigfoot lives among us!
163
00:05:36,276 --> 00:05:37,174
Balls!
164
00:05:37,243 --> 00:05:39,277
Rah! Ahhh! I've angered it!
165
00:05:39,379 --> 00:05:40,645
Balls!
166
00:05:40,747 --> 00:05:42,747
As my mom's pelt was pelted,
167
00:05:42,815 --> 00:05:45,016
Erica and Barry were
ready to hit Spring Break.
168
00:05:45,084 --> 00:05:48,252
Welcome to the Manners
of Envurrary, kiddos.
169
00:05:48,321 --> 00:05:50,688
My red-hot winter retreat.
170
00:05:50,757 --> 00:05:52,890
This here's our beach club.
171
00:05:52,959 --> 00:05:54,992
Yeah, where is the beach?
172
00:05:55,094 --> 00:05:56,060
30 minutes.
173
00:05:56,162 --> 00:05:57,228
By car.
174
00:05:57,330 --> 00:05:58,629
Which I don't own.
175
00:05:58,698 --> 00:05:59,897
'Cause I can't drive.
176
00:05:59,999 --> 00:06:02,199
Tell your grandkids no splashing
177
00:06:02,268 --> 00:06:05,236
or running or yelling or horseplay.
178
00:06:05,305 --> 00:06:07,071
That's Itzel playing cribbage.
179
00:06:07,173 --> 00:06:09,140
I'm handling it, Itzel!
180
00:06:09,208 --> 00:06:11,042
Try to steer clear of Itzel.
181
00:06:11,144 --> 00:06:12,710
[Gags]
182
00:06:12,812 --> 00:06:15,346
Sorry, the cigar smog makes me queasy.
183
00:06:15,448 --> 00:06:16,881
Can we go to the pool?
184
00:06:16,950 --> 00:06:18,516
It was now clear they weren't
185
00:06:18,618 --> 00:06:20,618
in the Spring Break seen on MTV.
186
00:06:20,687 --> 00:06:22,653
This was the grandparent
part of Florida,
187
00:06:22,722 --> 00:06:24,388
filled with the oldest of farts.
188
00:06:24,490 --> 00:06:25,489
Here's a knish.
189
00:06:25,592 --> 00:06:27,672
- It's all they had at the snack bar.
- A knish?
190
00:06:27,707 --> 00:06:29,994
A fried dough pocket
filled with potatoes and oil.
191
00:06:30,063 --> 00:06:31,228
I know what a knish is.
192
00:06:31,297 --> 00:06:32,897
It's the last thing I
want to eat in the sun.
193
00:06:32,999 --> 00:06:34,298
We have no choice!
194
00:06:34,367 --> 00:06:36,233
Let's just sit and lay low...
195
00:06:36,336 --> 00:06:37,368
We can't sit.
196
00:06:37,437 --> 00:06:39,704
This little footrest is
all I could find for us.
197
00:06:39,806 --> 00:06:41,038
The old fart altacockers
198
00:06:41,140 --> 00:06:42,707
get up at the crack of
dawn to reserve chairs.
199
00:06:42,775 --> 00:06:45,576
I'm not waking up at the
crack of dawn for a pool chair.
200
00:06:45,645 --> 00:06:46,811
We have to, Barry.
201
00:06:46,879 --> 00:06:48,646
From now on, we come here at 5:00 A.M.
202
00:06:48,715 --> 00:06:51,215
and sit on a chaise in the
darkness until the day starts.
203
00:06:51,317 --> 00:06:52,283
Screw that!
204
00:06:52,352 --> 00:06:53,784
I'll just float all day in the pool.
205
00:06:53,886 --> 00:06:56,053
No. Rafts and kickboards
are against the rules.
206
00:06:56,122 --> 00:06:57,888
Same goes for running, chicken fighting,
207
00:06:57,957 --> 00:06:59,223
diving, and cannon-balling.
208
00:06:59,258 --> 00:07:01,459
But that's my signature
entry into the water!
209
00:07:01,561 --> 00:07:03,394
Hey, kiddo, we need
to talk about the rules
210
00:07:03,496 --> 00:07:04,528
if you want to go swimming.
211
00:07:04,597 --> 00:07:06,964
You got to wear the
required bathing cap.
212
00:07:07,033 --> 00:07:09,367
No, I'm not gonna wear
a required bathing cap.
213
00:07:09,435 --> 00:07:11,969
You got to wear the
required bathing cap.
214
00:07:12,071 --> 00:07:13,804
Look at all that hair, Albert!
215
00:07:13,906 --> 00:07:15,806
I'm handling it, Itzel!
216
00:07:15,875 --> 00:07:17,408
That's all gonna end up in the filter
217
00:07:17,443 --> 00:07:19,910
if she doesn't wear the
required bathing cap!
218
00:07:19,979 --> 00:07:22,213
You got to wear the
required bathing cap.
219
00:07:22,315 --> 00:07:23,914
- Let me help!
- Ow, ow, ow!
220
00:07:24,017 --> 00:07:24,982
Okay! It's on fine!
221
00:07:25,084 --> 00:07:26,317
Oh, you look great.
222
00:07:26,419 --> 00:07:29,186
Like a beautiful, non-slip shower mat.
223
00:07:29,255 --> 00:07:31,222
Yep, the once-promising trip to Florida
224
00:07:31,324 --> 00:07:32,757
was looking like a colossal bust.
225
00:07:32,825 --> 00:07:34,825
And back home, my
friends were helping me
226
00:07:34,894 --> 00:07:35,860
to avoid getting busted.
227
00:07:35,928 --> 00:07:37,461
- This isn't working.
- Oh, man!
228
00:07:37,530 --> 00:07:39,563
We got to fix this or my
parents are gonna kill us!
229
00:07:39,632 --> 00:07:40,698
Oh, God. I'll go get Erica.
230
00:07:40,767 --> 00:07:42,466
She's in Florida on Spring Break.
231
00:07:42,568 --> 00:07:44,568
Wait, my girlfriend
went to MTV Spring Break
232
00:07:44,671 --> 00:07:45,603
and didn't even tell me?
233
00:07:45,672 --> 00:07:47,238
Sounds like trouble in paradise.
234
00:07:47,340 --> 00:07:49,053
- Dave Kim smells a door opening.
- What?
235
00:07:49,088 --> 00:07:50,307
I'm not gonna hide my feelings, bro.
236
00:07:50,410 --> 00:07:51,842
I'm actively rooting against you.
237
00:07:51,911 --> 00:07:53,144
[Sniffs] What's that smell?
238
00:07:53,246 --> 00:07:54,111
- Fire.
- Fire?
239
00:07:54,213 --> 00:07:55,079
- Fire!
- [Barks]
240
00:07:55,181 --> 00:07:56,247
There's fire on the coat!
241
00:07:56,349 --> 00:07:57,715
I see the fire, Dave Kim!
242
00:07:57,817 --> 00:08:00,718
With ninja-like reflexes,
I dealt with the blaze.
243
00:08:00,787 --> 00:08:02,553
And in the process, I killed Minky.
244
00:08:02,588 --> 00:08:05,156
I just destroyed the one thing
my mother loves more than me.
245
00:08:05,224 --> 00:08:06,991
- What do I do?!
- I'd blame Lucky.
246
00:08:07,060 --> 00:08:09,293
Just say that she ripped it
to shreds and then burned it.
247
00:08:09,362 --> 00:08:10,461
Just blame Geoff.
248
00:08:10,530 --> 00:08:11,862
He's not gonna be around
much after the breakup.
249
00:08:11,931 --> 00:08:13,531
Here's an even crazier idea.
250
00:08:13,633 --> 00:08:15,299
I don't lie or blame anyone.
251
00:08:15,368 --> 00:08:16,901
But what other option is there?
252
00:08:17,003 --> 00:08:19,203
I tell the truth.
253
00:08:19,272 --> 00:08:20,905
I don't understand a word you're saying.
254
00:08:20,973 --> 00:08:23,841
My mom gave me the coat 'cause
she finally thinks I'm an adult.
255
00:08:23,943 --> 00:08:25,342
So I'll do the adult thing
256
00:08:25,445 --> 00:08:27,511
and just apologize for
this awful accident.
257
00:08:27,613 --> 00:08:29,280
- Honesty.
- Huh.
258
00:08:29,348 --> 00:08:31,716
- Interesting.
- It's so crazy it just might work.
259
00:08:31,784 --> 00:08:33,484
You have any idea how much
it cost to get a fur coat?!
260
00:08:33,553 --> 00:08:36,045
You have broken the unbreakable
bond between a mother and child!
261
00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:37,388
578 hours of me working myself
to the bone just so my wife...
262
00:08:37,490 --> 00:08:38,689
I have failed as a mother for raising
263
00:08:38,758 --> 00:08:40,157
such a careless,
inconsiderate little boy...
264
00:08:40,226 --> 00:08:42,660
They don't seem to
appreciate the honesty idea.
265
00:08:42,762 --> 00:08:44,061
They will soon.
266
00:08:44,130 --> 00:08:46,230
I just got to take my lumps
and then we'll all move on.
267
00:08:46,265 --> 00:08:47,398
[Murray and Beverly yelling
indistinctly] They still mad?
268
00:08:47,467 --> 00:08:48,532
Very.
269
00:08:48,601 --> 00:08:50,301
No more TV. No more
movies. No more Walkmans.
270
00:08:50,403 --> 00:08:51,736
Gone! Gone! Tell him things, Bevy!
271
00:08:51,804 --> 00:08:53,170
- Or G.I. Jims.
- She's telling you!
272
00:08:53,239 --> 00:08:56,107
But I'm sure they'll start to
value my honesty any minute now.
273
00:08:56,175 --> 00:08:57,808
- You never even liked Minky!
- You like making movies, right?
274
00:08:57,877 --> 00:08:59,543
- Well, I'll show you a movie!
- All you ever saw was some poor,
275
00:08:59,645 --> 00:09:01,612
- dead animal sewn together for my...
- Your dad driving to the bank...
276
00:09:01,714 --> 00:09:04,215
Oh, sweet God, this has to stop!
277
00:09:04,283 --> 00:09:06,217
Excuse me?
278
00:09:06,285 --> 00:09:09,253
I am the only child in
history who did the adult thing
279
00:09:09,322 --> 00:09:11,822
and took full responsibility
for my mistakes!
280
00:09:11,924 --> 00:09:14,091
I get you're mad, but enough already!
281
00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:16,627
Hey! We'll say when
we're done, big shot!
282
00:09:16,729 --> 00:09:18,729
Don't you walk away from your father!
283
00:09:18,798 --> 00:09:20,431
You take one more step, and it's over!
284
00:09:20,500 --> 00:09:21,932
Murray! He took one more step!
285
00:09:22,034 --> 00:09:24,769
Hey, mister, stop walking
or it's curtains for you!
286
00:09:24,837 --> 00:09:26,103
He's still walking, Bevy!
287
00:09:26,172 --> 00:09:27,238
Wrestle him to the ground.
288
00:09:27,306 --> 00:09:29,173
Use your hips and groin to pin him down!
289
00:09:29,242 --> 00:09:31,208
No, I'm not gonna do that. Stop!
290
00:09:31,310 --> 00:09:32,576
He didn't listen when I yelled.
291
00:09:32,678 --> 00:09:34,111
That's my only move as a parent.
292
00:09:34,180 --> 00:09:36,280
It's as if we lost all our power.
293
00:09:37,250 --> 00:09:38,449
[Door slams]
294
00:09:38,518 --> 00:09:39,984
We've lost all our power.
295
00:09:40,052 --> 00:09:42,019
As my parents lost
control, Barry and Erica
296
00:09:42,088 --> 00:09:44,255
were trying to steer
Spring Break back on track.
297
00:09:44,323 --> 00:09:46,557
Was that a hearty soup or what?
298
00:09:46,659 --> 00:09:48,492
And a bottomless bowl!
299
00:09:48,594 --> 00:09:50,795
Got to love that Early Bird Dinner.
300
00:09:50,863 --> 00:09:53,430
Oh, yeah. That soup
was so rich and beany.
301
00:09:53,533 --> 00:09:55,900
Yeah. Also, this place sucks!
302
00:09:56,002 --> 00:09:57,234
The fact that you don't get it means
303
00:09:57,303 --> 00:09:59,236
that this place is turning
you into one of them, man.
304
00:09:59,305 --> 00:10:02,339
Stop. I'm the same Party
Pops you've always known!
305
00:10:02,408 --> 00:10:04,275
If that's true, then take my hand.
306
00:10:04,377 --> 00:10:06,043
Come with us, Party Pops.
307
00:10:06,145 --> 00:10:08,946
Join us on the brown, sandy
beaches of Fort Lauderdale.
308
00:10:09,048 --> 00:10:10,681
It'll be strange to
bring our grandfather
309
00:10:10,783 --> 00:10:13,551
to an inflatable dance club,
but we'll do it together.
310
00:10:13,653 --> 00:10:15,386
As a family.
311
00:10:15,454 --> 00:10:16,854
Why aren't you taking my hand?
312
00:10:16,956 --> 00:10:18,889
I'm sorry, but no one's going to
313
00:10:18,991 --> 00:10:21,692
some ferkokte beach party at this hour!
314
00:10:21,794 --> 00:10:23,093
Then where are you going?
315
00:10:23,196 --> 00:10:26,130
To bed, and so should you.
316
00:10:26,232 --> 00:10:28,866
It's 5:50. The sun is right there.
317
00:10:28,935 --> 00:10:30,334
This is just wrong!
318
00:10:30,403 --> 00:10:31,869
Carla and Johnny Atkins
319
00:10:31,938 --> 00:10:34,238
are partying poolside
with the Beastie Boys,
320
00:10:34,307 --> 00:10:36,407
and we're stuck in this
geriatric nightmare.
321
00:10:36,509 --> 00:10:38,609
If Pops won't let us
go to MTV Spring Break,
322
00:10:38,678 --> 00:10:41,545
then we'll just have to
bring MTV Spring Break to us.
323
00:10:43,015 --> 00:10:45,282
? No sleep till ?
324
00:10:45,384 --> 00:10:47,384
[Music played]
325
00:10:47,486 --> 00:10:48,485
Time to get our hair wet.
326
00:10:48,588 --> 00:10:50,754
Hells yeah. Let's break some rules.
327
00:10:50,857 --> 00:11:15,201
[Music played]
328
00:11:01,167 --> 00:11:02,766
- Marco! Marco!
- Polo!
329
00:11:02,869 --> 00:11:05,502
[Both blowing]
330
00:11:05,605 --> 00:11:06,704
[Both breathe deeply]
331
00:11:06,806 --> 00:11:07,972
[Both blowing]
332
00:11:08,074 --> 00:11:10,407
[Music played]
333
00:11:10,509 --> 00:11:11,575
? No sleep till ?
334
00:11:11,677 --> 00:11:15,779
[Music played]
335
00:11:18,651 --> 00:11:21,252
We got a crime in progress, Officer.
336
00:11:21,354 --> 00:11:22,620
I want to go to sleep,
337
00:11:22,722 --> 00:11:24,388
but some hooligans broke into the pool
338
00:11:24,490 --> 00:11:25,956
and are throwing a party.
339
00:11:26,058 --> 00:11:27,825
How big of a party are
we talking about, sir?
340
00:11:27,927 --> 00:11:29,793
If I had to guess? 200 kids.
341
00:11:29,896 --> 00:11:31,128
On our way.
342
00:11:31,230 --> 00:11:34,899
These damn punks are gonna
get what's coming to them.
343
00:11:36,322 --> 00:11:38,626
Check it! I just spent
the last four hours
344
00:11:38,797 --> 00:11:40,346
creating brand new punishments
345
00:11:40,347 --> 00:11:42,539
to remind Adam we're in charge.
346
00:11:42,574 --> 00:11:44,692
"No video games, no smiley pancakes,
347
00:11:44,761 --> 00:11:47,094
no pillow forts, no acting
in school musicals"...
348
00:11:47,163 --> 00:11:49,497
Strike that one. I can't deprive
the world of his brilliance.
349
00:11:49,565 --> 00:11:52,433
You realize he's just gonna
say no again and walk out?
350
00:11:52,502 --> 00:11:54,902
But why? Barry and Erica never did that.
351
00:11:54,971 --> 00:11:57,138
'Cause they were always guilty
as hell, and they knew it.
352
00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:58,439
You're right.
353
00:11:58,474 --> 00:12:00,941
Adam's my perfect little snuggle
monkey who told the truth,
354
00:12:01,010 --> 00:12:02,243
and we just yelled for days.
355
00:12:02,311 --> 00:12:04,044
Come on. All kids are the worst.
356
00:12:04,113 --> 00:12:05,880
I guarantee Adam is guilty of something.
357
00:12:05,948 --> 00:12:08,916
So we just need to figure
out what he's hiding from us.
358
00:12:09,018 --> 00:12:10,618
And then we bust him
359
00:12:10,686 --> 00:12:14,221
and we make him feel guilty
and bad about himself!
360
00:12:14,290 --> 00:12:16,090
And then he listens to us again.
361
00:12:16,159 --> 00:12:18,325
I'm really excited about this plan.
362
00:12:18,394 --> 00:12:20,628
It's a great plan, and
we're great parents.
363
00:12:20,730 --> 00:12:22,029
We are great parents.
364
00:12:22,131 --> 00:12:25,599
[Music played]
365
00:12:25,668 --> 00:12:27,635
There's nothing under his mattress,
366
00:12:27,703 --> 00:12:29,837
not even an M-80 or a switchblade.
367
00:12:29,939 --> 00:12:31,772
Whoa, whoa, wait. Lock box.
368
00:12:31,874 --> 00:12:33,874
Let's see what Adam's up to.
369
00:12:38,981 --> 00:12:40,548
- That's not good.
- It doesn't matter.
370
00:12:40,616 --> 00:12:42,550
All that matters is what's in this box.
371
00:12:42,652 --> 00:12:45,920
There's a note. I can't look. Read it.
372
00:12:45,988 --> 00:12:48,289
Oh, that damn honest moron.
373
00:12:48,391 --> 00:12:50,758
It's actually, uh,
Father's Day gift ideas.
374
00:12:50,793 --> 00:12:51,958
- Now what?
- Well, we do
375
00:12:52,096 --> 00:12:56,063
exactly what Adam would.
Be adults and come clean.
376
00:12:58,601 --> 00:12:59,834
We were robbed!
377
00:12:59,902 --> 00:13:01,769
- What?
- Enough with the questions!
378
00:13:01,871 --> 00:13:03,671
Can't you see your mom's a mess?
379
00:13:03,739 --> 00:13:06,807
As I was caught in my
parents' web of lies,
380
00:13:06,876 --> 00:13:09,610
a Spring Break rager was
cooking at Pop's place.
381
00:13:09,679 --> 00:13:12,513
Another round of knishes coming
up because that's what I do.
382
00:13:12,615 --> 00:13:13,514
Look at me!
383
00:13:13,583 --> 00:13:15,883
My body's on four different chaises,
384
00:13:15,952 --> 00:13:18,085
and I didn't even have to
use a towel to reserve 'em!
385
00:13:18,187 --> 00:13:19,954
Freeze! Everyone down! Down!
386
00:13:20,022 --> 00:13:21,822
Don't shoot! I'm all potential!
387
00:13:21,924 --> 00:13:23,691
We got a call about an
out-of-control party!
388
00:13:23,793 --> 00:13:24,859
Where is everyone?
389
00:13:24,961 --> 00:13:26,694
It's just me and no one else.
390
00:13:26,796 --> 00:13:27,795
I swear.
391
00:13:27,897 --> 00:13:32,700
[Microwave dinging]
392
00:13:32,768 --> 00:13:34,568
We see you reaching for
the little microwave handle.
393
00:13:34,670 --> 00:13:35,703
Come out now.
394
00:13:37,807 --> 00:13:39,173
She's not coming. Send in the dogs.
395
00:13:39,242 --> 00:13:40,541
No dogs! I'm here. I'm coming out.
396
00:13:40,610 --> 00:13:41,542
What's in your hand? Drop it!
397
00:13:41,611 --> 00:13:43,177
A knish! It's just a knish!
398
00:13:43,246 --> 00:13:45,179
Sweet Mother of Mercy, I hate Florida!
399
00:13:45,281 --> 00:13:46,547
Yep, it's true.
400
00:13:46,616 --> 00:13:48,782
My siblings were America's
first knish bandits.
401
00:13:48,885 --> 00:13:51,285
Meanwhile, I was facing
an actual crime scene.
402
00:13:51,387 --> 00:13:53,587
Balls! Oh, God, oh, balls!
403
00:13:53,656 --> 00:13:54,922
I can't believe we were robbed!
404
00:13:55,024 --> 00:13:56,023
We really were.
405
00:13:56,125 --> 00:13:58,859
Those robbers came in
and robbed us real bad.
406
00:13:58,928 --> 00:14:00,127
So they found all your jewelry?
407
00:14:00,196 --> 00:14:01,328
Uh, no, no.
408
00:14:01,397 --> 00:14:03,831
They, uh, mostly just focused
on this room, but, uh...
409
00:14:03,900 --> 00:14:07,268
they broke all your toys and
your tiny "Donkey Kong" machine.
410
00:14:07,336 --> 00:14:08,369
But why?
411
00:14:08,471 --> 00:14:10,905
Adam, these are bad people.
412
00:14:11,007 --> 00:14:13,073
Yes. Bad people.
413
00:14:13,142 --> 00:14:16,143
There's no point in trying to
figure out why they did this.
414
00:14:16,212 --> 00:14:17,611
[Coins jingle] They
left my piggy bank.
415
00:14:17,713 --> 00:14:18,646
It's just loose change.
416
00:14:18,748 --> 00:14:20,347
And Pops' coin collection?
417
00:14:20,449 --> 00:14:22,316
I think they were just
trying to send a message.
418
00:14:22,418 --> 00:14:23,584
And the message is,
419
00:14:23,653 --> 00:14:25,519
"Don't ask any more
questions about this crime."
420
00:14:25,588 --> 00:14:26,887
We got to call the police.
421
00:14:26,956 --> 00:14:28,088
No. If you call the police,
422
00:14:28,157 --> 00:14:29,490
they said they'd come back and kill you.
423
00:14:29,592 --> 00:14:30,591
- What?!
- What?
424
00:14:30,693 --> 00:14:32,459
- You talked to them?
- They left a note!
425
00:14:32,528 --> 00:14:33,894
Where is it? That's evidence.
426
00:14:33,963 --> 00:14:35,930
It was written in blood on the wall!
427
00:14:35,998 --> 00:14:38,265
I don't want to live here anymore!
428
00:14:38,334 --> 00:14:40,067
You don't need to be scared.
429
00:14:40,169 --> 00:14:41,368
You are a sweet boy
430
00:14:41,470 --> 00:14:44,972
who wants to buy batteries for
his father for Father's Day.
431
00:14:46,008 --> 00:14:47,107
Wait. How do you know
432
00:14:47,176 --> 00:14:49,043
I was gonna buy batteries
for Father's Day?
433
00:14:51,314 --> 00:14:52,446
The robbers said so.
434
00:14:52,515 --> 00:14:54,949
It was in their blood message
scrawled above your bed.
435
00:14:55,017 --> 00:14:56,183
So troubling.
436
00:14:56,285 --> 00:14:57,184
It was your mother's idea.
437
00:14:57,286 --> 00:14:58,252
My idea?
438
00:14:58,354 --> 00:14:59,853
It was you.
439
00:14:59,956 --> 00:15:01,755
You guys ransacked my room
440
00:15:01,857 --> 00:15:04,191
and broke my tiny "Donkey Kong" machine
441
00:15:04,293 --> 00:15:05,693
and then lied about it!
442
00:15:05,795 --> 00:15:08,595
When I messed up, I told
the truth like an adult.
443
00:15:08,698 --> 00:15:10,631
You'd think my parents
could do the same thing.
444
00:15:10,733 --> 00:15:12,566
Exactly. We're the parents.
445
00:15:12,635 --> 00:15:14,001
That means when we say you're grounded,
446
00:15:14,070 --> 00:15:15,269
you don't walk out the door.
447
00:15:15,338 --> 00:15:17,771
If anyone is grounded
here, it's you guys.
448
00:15:17,873 --> 00:15:20,407
Now go to your room and
think about what you've done.
449
00:15:20,476 --> 00:15:25,179
You think you can just go
around punishing us like...
450
00:15:27,817 --> 00:15:29,216
I'm going to my room.
451
00:15:29,285 --> 00:15:33,087
But not to think about what I've done!
452
00:15:33,189 --> 00:15:34,188
Go!
453
00:15:36,692 --> 00:15:38,492
- I can't believe this.
- [Sighs]
454
00:15:38,561 --> 00:15:40,728
We were supposed to be having
the craziest week of our lives.
455
00:15:40,830 --> 00:15:41,929
I know!
456
00:15:42,031 --> 00:15:43,864
I was finally gonna live
out my number one dream
457
00:15:43,933 --> 00:15:45,032
of riding a sea turtle.
458
00:15:45,134 --> 00:15:46,400
You two are so lame.
459
00:15:46,502 --> 00:15:48,469
How can anyone not love Spring Break?
460
00:15:48,537 --> 00:15:49,803
Please don't tell me
that you got to party
461
00:15:49,872 --> 00:15:50,871
with the Beastie Boys?
462
00:15:50,973 --> 00:15:53,474
No. But I did barf
on Larry "Bud" Melman!
463
00:15:53,576 --> 00:15:54,541
- Whoa.
- Whoa.
464
00:15:54,610 --> 00:15:55,642
I stole a jet ski
465
00:15:55,745 --> 00:15:56,844
and then I got chased by the Coast Guard
466
00:15:56,946 --> 00:15:58,679
and then I crashed the
jet ski into a pier.
467
00:15:58,781 --> 00:16:00,381
I'm lucky to be alive. It was so funny.
468
00:16:00,483 --> 00:16:02,149
- That is funny.
- So cool.
469
00:16:02,251 --> 00:16:03,450
So what'd the po-po snag you guys for?
470
00:16:03,552 --> 00:16:04,852
[Chuckles]
471
00:16:04,954 --> 00:16:08,055
You know, just, uh, typical
Spring Break craziness.
472
00:16:08,157 --> 00:16:09,123
[Laughs]
473
00:16:09,225 --> 00:16:10,858
We, um [quietly] stole a knish.
474
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:11,992
- What'd you say?
- Can't hear you, bro.
475
00:16:12,061 --> 00:16:14,194
- Stole a kni...
- What?
476
00:16:14,296 --> 00:16:15,796
- Enunciate!
- We stole a knish, okay?
477
00:16:15,898 --> 00:16:18,432
Like, from a wet T-shirt contest?
478
00:16:18,534 --> 00:16:21,201
Nope. Just a regular ol'
knish at a retirement home.
479
00:16:21,270 --> 00:16:22,636
You stole from old people, dude?
480
00:16:22,738 --> 00:16:24,271
That's not cool. My step-dad's old.
481
00:16:24,373 --> 00:16:26,006
Goldberg and Goldberg,
you're free to go.
482
00:16:26,075 --> 00:16:27,908
- Pops, thank God!
- We're saved!
483
00:16:28,010 --> 00:16:29,209
You kiddos okay?
484
00:16:29,311 --> 00:16:32,579
No! Some grumpy-ass altacocker
called the 5-0 on us.
485
00:16:32,648 --> 00:16:34,014
Whoever ratted us out
486
00:16:34,083 --> 00:16:36,483
is the lamest old fart of all the farts.
487
00:16:36,585 --> 00:16:39,153
Or he's not a lame fart
at all. We don't know.
488
00:16:39,255 --> 00:16:40,621
I bet you it was that putz Itzel.
489
00:16:40,723 --> 00:16:41,955
It was for sure Itzel!
490
00:16:42,058 --> 00:16:43,724
It was me, okay?
491
00:16:43,826 --> 00:16:45,359
Why are you protecting Itzel?
492
00:16:45,461 --> 00:16:47,528
I'm not! It was a mistake.
493
00:16:47,630 --> 00:16:50,597
What? You called the police
on your own grandchildren?
494
00:16:50,699 --> 00:16:52,433
The Pops we know would hop the fence,
495
00:16:52,535 --> 00:16:54,535
crank the music, and
steal all the knishes.
496
00:16:54,637 --> 00:16:56,203
Yeah, dude. What happened to that Pops?
497
00:16:56,305 --> 00:16:59,640
I guess Pops moved to
Florida and you know what?
498
00:16:59,742 --> 00:17:01,442
He likes it.
499
00:17:01,544 --> 00:17:04,678
Sorry to be such a disappointment.
500
00:17:04,780 --> 00:17:08,148
[Music played]
501
00:17:10,331 --> 00:17:11,697
Hey.
502
00:17:11,766 --> 00:17:13,232
Can we talk, Schmoopy-poops?
503
00:17:13,301 --> 00:17:14,500
No, and don't call me that.
504
00:17:14,602 --> 00:17:16,302
Look, everyone makes mistakes.
505
00:17:16,371 --> 00:17:17,803
You ruined a fur coat,
506
00:17:17,872 --> 00:17:20,006
we terrified you with
a deadly home invasion.
507
00:17:20,074 --> 00:17:23,242
We're just not used to a kid
who's not a total lying moron.
508
00:17:23,311 --> 00:17:26,412
Point is, we taught you to
be a kind, honest human being,
509
00:17:26,481 --> 00:17:27,747
and you lived up to that.
510
00:17:27,849 --> 00:17:29,515
I'm sorry we couldn't do the same.
511
00:17:29,584 --> 00:17:32,151
Well, you guys tried to ground
me and I refused to listen.
512
00:17:32,253 --> 00:17:33,419
I'm sorry.
513
00:17:33,488 --> 00:17:36,255
No more apologies. It
just makes me feel worse.
514
00:17:36,324 --> 00:17:39,325
Here, Mama fixed your Donkey King game.
515
00:17:39,427 --> 00:17:41,160
Let's just move on.
516
00:17:41,262 --> 00:17:42,261
Whoa!
517
00:17:42,330 --> 00:17:43,262
What the hell is that?
518
00:17:43,331 --> 00:17:45,164
M
- Money. Just normal, everyday money.
519
00:17:45,266 --> 00:17:46,332
Where did you get all of this?
520
00:17:46,401 --> 00:17:49,769
See.... Lucky ate your wallet.
521
00:17:49,871 --> 00:17:51,103
[Stammering] No, no, no!
522
00:17:51,172 --> 00:17:53,439
It was Ed McMahon! He
stopped by to tell me
523
00:17:53,541 --> 00:17:55,608
I'd won the Publisher's
Clearing House Sweepstakes
524
00:17:55,676 --> 00:17:56,942
and gave me a big check,
525
00:17:57,011 --> 00:17:58,444
but I asked for it all in singles.
526
00:17:58,546 --> 00:18:00,012
No, no! Forget all that.
527
00:18:00,081 --> 00:18:01,480
I'm a stockbroker.
528
00:18:01,582 --> 00:18:03,049
No, wait! A CPA.
529
00:18:03,151 --> 00:18:05,584
No, wait! A male exotic dancer.
530
00:18:05,653 --> 00:18:06,952
Oh, God.
531
00:18:07,021 --> 00:18:08,354
I borrowed it from Dad, okay?
532
00:18:08,456 --> 00:18:09,488
I didn't lend you that money!
533
00:18:09,590 --> 00:18:10,956
I may have grabbed a
dollar here and there
534
00:18:11,025 --> 00:18:12,658
for the past two years
to save up for a DeLorean.
535
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:13,759
You get it.
536
00:18:13,828 --> 00:18:15,027
You know what? You're grounded.
537
00:18:15,096 --> 00:18:16,562
You're grounded until you go to college!
538
00:18:16,631 --> 00:18:17,997
You stole money from your own father?
539
00:18:18,066 --> 00:18:19,832
- Go up on to your room.
- I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
540
00:18:19,934 --> 00:18:23,235
I am very disappointed in
your lies and deceit, mister!
541
00:18:23,337 --> 00:18:26,505
Oh, thank God! He's
been robbing us blind!
542
00:18:26,607 --> 00:18:27,907
Our little baby is a thief!
543
00:18:28,009 --> 00:18:29,642
He's as bad as the other morons!
544
00:18:29,710 --> 00:18:30,776
Maybe even worse!
545
00:18:30,845 --> 00:18:32,111
Now we have all our power back
546
00:18:32,180 --> 00:18:34,513
and I can go back to
being a great mama again!
547
00:18:34,582 --> 00:18:36,582
Whoo-hoo! I can yell at him again!
548
00:18:36,651 --> 00:18:38,751
[Laughs] And I'm gonna
yell at him but good.
549
00:18:38,820 --> 00:18:40,753
I know.
550
00:18:42,857 --> 00:18:46,792
Hey! We woke up at five and
booked a shuffleboard court.
551
00:18:46,894 --> 00:18:48,094
Who's ready to get hustled?
552
00:18:48,196 --> 00:18:49,962
And I'm wearing a swim
cap so I don't shed
553
00:18:50,064 --> 00:18:52,131
when we go for a non-splashy dip after.
554
00:18:52,233 --> 00:18:53,466
Kiddo, you don't have to pretend
555
00:18:53,568 --> 00:18:55,701
to like this place on my account.
556
00:18:55,770 --> 00:18:57,269
Look, we're sorry for what we said.
557
00:18:57,371 --> 00:18:58,604
You're not an altacocker.
558
00:18:58,706 --> 00:19:00,806
Maybe I have slowed down a bit,
559
00:19:00,908 --> 00:19:02,608
but I don't want to hold you back.
560
00:19:02,677 --> 00:19:06,078
Go to the beach, have
your MTV Spring Break.
561
00:19:06,180 --> 00:19:07,947
It's not a Spring Break without you.
562
00:19:08,049 --> 00:19:11,484
[Inspirational music playing]
563
00:19:11,586 --> 00:19:13,052
Come on. Take my hand.
564
00:19:13,154 --> 00:19:15,354
No, I'll just get in the way.
565
00:19:15,456 --> 00:19:17,756
Okay, so you eat dinner super early
566
00:19:17,825 --> 00:19:19,193
and you called the SWAT team
567
00:19:19,370 --> 00:19:21,343
on our two-person knish party,
568
00:19:21,378 --> 00:19:24,663
but the Pops we know will
always be the life of the party.
569
00:19:24,765 --> 00:19:27,633
[Music played]
570
00:19:27,735 --> 00:19:29,135
I always like a good party.
571
00:19:29,237 --> 00:19:31,470
? No sleep till ?
572
00:19:31,572 --> 00:19:32,805
Let's ride.
573
00:19:32,907 --> 00:19:34,507
Whoa!
574
00:19:34,609 --> 00:19:36,542
Pops, since when do you drive a Jag?
575
00:19:36,611 --> 00:19:38,878
I don't. I just stole
the keys from Itzel
576
00:19:38,980 --> 00:19:40,679
when he was yelling at some kids.
577
00:19:40,748 --> 00:19:42,281
Now, that's the Pops I know.
578
00:19:42,350 --> 00:19:44,850
And so, while they
were off breaking rules,
579
00:19:44,919 --> 00:19:48,020
I was shocked to learn my world
had been put back together.
580
00:19:48,089 --> 00:19:49,121
What the...?
581
00:19:49,223 --> 00:19:50,956
We used the money you
took from your dad's pants
582
00:19:51,058 --> 00:19:53,025
- to fix your room.
- But why?
583
00:19:53,094 --> 00:19:54,960
I stole all that money from you guys.
584
00:19:55,062 --> 00:19:56,996
Look, there are no real adults here.
585
00:19:57,098 --> 00:19:58,397
Let's just call it even.
586
00:19:58,499 --> 00:20:00,099
Are you sure you don't
want to use the money
587
00:20:00,201 --> 00:20:01,500
towards another fur coat?
588
00:20:01,602 --> 00:20:03,969
No coat warms me as much as you.
589
00:20:04,071 --> 00:20:05,371
[Music played]
590
00:20:05,473 --> 00:20:07,506
Also, a very angry young lady
591
00:20:07,608 --> 00:20:09,608
threw red paint on Linda Schwartz's coat
592
00:20:09,710 --> 00:20:11,377
when they were out to dinner, so...
593
00:20:11,479 --> 00:20:12,945
Totally get it.
594
00:20:13,047 --> 00:20:14,813
Truth is, even when you slow down,
595
00:20:14,916 --> 00:20:16,782
you can still be the life of the party.
596
00:20:16,884 --> 00:20:18,083
And even though Erica and Barry
597
00:20:18,186 --> 00:20:20,052
didn't actually meet
the Spuds MacKenzie,
598
00:20:20,154 --> 00:20:22,121
thanks to Pops, they still got
599
00:20:22,223 --> 00:20:24,256
the MTV Spring Break of a lifetime.
600
00:20:24,358 --> 00:20:25,291
? No! ?
601
00:20:25,393 --> 00:20:26,559
? Sleep! ?
602
00:20:26,661 --> 00:20:28,827
? Till Brooklyn! ?
603
00:20:28,930 --> 00:20:30,329
? No! ?
604
00:20:30,431 --> 00:20:31,530
? Sleep! ?
605
00:20:31,632 --> 00:20:33,365
? Till Brooklyn! ?
606
00:20:33,955 --> 00:20:35,566
_
607
00:20:35,641 --> 00:20:38,475
So, the knish incident... We
had nothing to do in the evening,
608
00:20:38,577 --> 00:20:40,176
so we went to the pool,
the clubhouse there.
609
00:20:40,278 --> 00:20:41,578
We were playing music.
610
00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:44,080
I was hungry, so I put a
potato knish in the microwave,
611
00:20:44,182 --> 00:20:45,548
and while the microwave was going,
612
00:20:45,650 --> 00:20:46,750
I heard, "Freeze! Police!"
613
00:20:46,852 --> 00:20:48,918
So I ducked underneath
the kitchen counter.
614
00:20:49,020 --> 00:20:51,221
Five seconds later, the microwave dings,
615
00:20:51,323 --> 00:20:53,757
and I hear the policeman
outside say, "Send in the dogs,"
616
00:20:53,859 --> 00:20:56,493
so I slowly raised my hand up
and told them I'm right here.
617
00:20:56,595 --> 00:21:00,006
You were almost in
jail because of a knish.
618
00:21:00,056 --> 00:21:04,606
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