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1
00:00:00,223 --> 00:00:03,624
Back in the day, a lot could
be said about my crazy family.
2
00:00:03,994 --> 00:00:05,364
The one thing that couldn't be denied
3
00:00:05,399 --> 00:00:07,355
was that we were bad drivers.
4
00:00:07,424 --> 00:00:09,925
But, despite the highway
havoc that we wreaked
5
00:00:09,993 --> 00:00:12,494
and the fender benders that
followed us wherever we went,
6
00:00:12,563 --> 00:00:14,396
no one was more psyched
to get behind the wheel
7
00:00:14,498 --> 00:00:15,497
than my brother, Barry.
8
00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:16,798
When he turned 16,
9
00:00:16,867 --> 00:00:18,166
couldn't wait to hit the open road
10
00:00:18,235 --> 00:00:19,835
and never look back. [Box jingles]
11
00:00:19,937 --> 00:00:20,936
It's jingling.
12
00:00:21,038 --> 00:00:21,837
It's keys!
13
00:00:21,905 --> 00:00:23,472
Until my mom put the brakes
14
00:00:23,540 --> 00:00:24,539
on his automotive dreams.
15
00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:25,740
What the hell is this?
16
00:00:25,843 --> 00:00:26,942
It's a locket.
17
00:00:28,245 --> 00:00:29,845
It's got my picture inside
18
00:00:29,913 --> 00:00:32,681
so you can always have
your mother near your heart.
19
00:00:32,749 --> 00:00:34,182
And so, when I turned 16,
20
00:00:34,251 --> 00:00:36,751
my mom's gift to me
was hardly a surprise.
21
00:00:36,854 --> 00:00:37,719
[Box jingles]
22
00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:39,955
- It's jingling.
- Jingling means keys.
23
00:00:40,023 --> 00:00:42,023
It was the sterling-silver Mom locket
24
00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:43,692
that all the Goldberg boys got.
25
00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:45,026
I put my picture in there
26
00:00:45,095 --> 00:00:47,596
so you can always have
your mama near your heart.
27
00:00:47,664 --> 00:00:49,798
Yes! He got the worst gift, too.
28
00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:51,967
I love it. Thank you, Mama.
29
00:00:52,035 --> 00:00:53,635
Wait. That's your reaction?
30
00:00:53,704 --> 00:00:56,204
You get a garbage locket
of Mom instead of a car,
31
00:00:56,306 --> 00:00:57,305
and you appreciate it?
32
00:00:57,374 --> 00:00:58,940
Yeah, I'm good with not getting a car.
33
00:00:59,009 --> 00:01:00,642
Or driving in general. You get it.
34
00:01:00,744 --> 00:01:01,476
No!
35
00:01:01,578 --> 00:01:03,078
I don't get it at all!
36
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:04,679
I've got no sense of direction,
37
00:01:04,748 --> 00:01:06,882
I have bad depth perception
due to my lazy eye,
38
00:01:06,950 --> 00:01:08,783
and I'm easily startled by birds.
39
00:01:08,852 --> 00:01:10,085
So you're just not gonna drive?
40
00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:11,520
Yeah, I'm not so much a driver
41
00:01:11,622 --> 00:01:13,855
as the guy who sits behind
the driver in the backseat.
42
00:01:13,957 --> 00:01:15,724
- You mean a rich guy?
- Exactly.
43
00:01:15,792 --> 00:01:18,193
Now, if you'll excuse
me, I have play practice.
44
00:01:18,262 --> 00:01:19,628
Father, go fetch your driving pants,
45
00:01:19,696 --> 00:01:21,429
which are just regular
pants you refuse to wear.
46
00:01:21,532 --> 00:01:23,932
Refusing to drive
baffled my whole family,
47
00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:25,767
but no one more than Barry.
48
00:01:25,836 --> 00:01:27,235
Back when he got his license,
49
00:01:27,304 --> 00:01:29,170
the dude trademarked his own dance.
50
00:01:29,239 --> 00:01:30,572
? Yeah, that's right ?
51
00:01:30,674 --> 00:01:31,640
? Barry's driving ?
52
00:01:31,742 --> 00:01:32,641
? Who's in charge? ?
53
00:01:32,743 --> 00:01:33,675
? I'm in charge ?
54
00:01:33,744 --> 00:01:35,510
? That's right, uh-huh ?
55
00:01:35,612 --> 00:01:36,912
? Uh-huh,
uh-huh, uh-huh ?
56
00:01:36,980 --> 00:01:38,647
Unreal. I raised a moron.
57
00:01:38,715 --> 00:01:40,015
But, lucky for me,
58
00:01:40,083 --> 00:01:42,083
I got the perfect birthday
present that year,
59
00:01:42,152 --> 00:01:44,119
the gift of never driving.
60
00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:46,788
Stop it. My scrumptious little baby-man
61
00:01:46,857 --> 00:01:49,491
does not have to learn to drive
until he's absolutely ready.
62
00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:51,793
That's a no! Victory-dance time!
63
00:01:51,895 --> 00:01:52,961
? Mm-mm-mm ?
64
00:01:53,063 --> 00:01:54,963
? Uh-uh-uh-uh, yeah ?
65
00:01:55,065 --> 00:01:56,731
? That's right, I'm not driving ?
66
00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:59,334
Hey! Stop copying my driving dance!
67
00:01:59,436 --> 00:02:01,369
I'm not. It's the not-driving dance.
68
00:02:01,471 --> 00:02:02,571
There's no such thing!
69
00:02:02,673 --> 00:02:04,339
I'm raising complete morons.
70
00:02:04,408 --> 00:02:05,707
It's getting hard to argue.
71
00:02:05,809 --> 00:02:06,942
- It's like this.
- No, it's like this.
72
00:02:06,977 --> 00:02:08,510
If you're gonna copy me, at
least do it the right way.
73
00:02:08,612 --> 00:02:10,745
It's my own thing, dude.
Face it, this dance is mine.
74
00:02:10,847 --> 00:02:12,581
[Music Played]
75
00:02:12,683 --> 00:02:14,249
? I'm twisted up inside ?
76
00:02:14,351 --> 00:02:17,619
? But nonetheless, I
feel the need to say ?
77
00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:20,121
Synced and Corrected by YesCool
www.addic7ed.com
78
00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:21,489
? I don't know the future ?
79
00:02:21,592 --> 00:02:25,594
? But the past keeps
getting clearer every day ?
80
00:02:25,696 --> 00:02:28,396
It was November 29, 1980-something.
81
00:02:28,498 --> 00:02:30,231
The college fair was in full swing,
82
00:02:30,334 --> 00:02:32,567
and my sister wanted no part of it.
83
00:02:32,669 --> 00:02:34,703
Ugh, look at all these bozos
84
00:02:34,805 --> 00:02:35,870
and their lame clubs.
85
00:02:35,973 --> 00:02:36,972
The whole point of going to college
86
00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:38,273
is to be left alone.
87
00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:40,041
I thought it was more,
like, to learn and grow
88
00:02:40,143 --> 00:02:41,276
and make lifelong friendships.
89
00:02:41,378 --> 00:02:42,611
Meh. I've got enough friends.
90
00:02:42,713 --> 00:02:43,311
Do you?
91
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:44,179
Hey, either of you
92
00:02:44,281 --> 00:02:45,347
interested in Ultimate Frisbee?
93
00:02:45,449 --> 00:02:47,449
Are you interested in
picking a sport with a ball?
94
00:02:48,719 --> 00:02:49,851
Maybe you should join a club
95
00:02:49,953 --> 00:02:51,286
for freshmen who hate everything.
96
00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:52,554
Great. Where's that table?
97
00:02:52,656 --> 00:02:53,388
Seriously,
98
00:02:53,490 --> 00:02:54,522
you're a total downer.
99
00:02:54,625 --> 00:02:55,790
You, like, pooh-pooh everything.
100
00:02:55,892 --> 00:02:57,292
I don't, like, pooh-pooh everything.
101
00:02:57,394 --> 00:02:59,160
Just offer me something
cool, and I'm there.
102
00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:00,996
Looking for something cool, eh?
103
00:03:01,098 --> 00:03:01,863
Lucky for you,
104
00:03:01,965 --> 00:03:02,831
your RA Srini
105
00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:04,299
has the answer, ladies.
106
00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:07,535
Karaoke and togas? Pass.
107
00:03:07,638 --> 00:03:09,104
I see. Well, if you change your mind,
108
00:03:09,206 --> 00:03:10,405
feel free to drop by and RSVP.
109
00:03:10,507 --> 00:03:11,640
Here's my RSVP.
110
00:03:11,742 --> 00:03:12,307
Pbht!
111
00:03:12,409 --> 00:03:13,375
Guess that's an RSVP
112
00:03:13,477 --> 00:03:14,409
for just one, then.
113
00:03:14,511 --> 00:03:15,677
Wait, you're going? Why?
114
00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:16,678
'Cause it sounds fun,
115
00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:18,346
and, unlike you, I, like, like fun.
116
00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:20,315
I, like, like fun, too!
117
00:03:20,417 --> 00:03:21,983
You should've seen me in high school.
118
00:03:22,085 --> 00:03:23,018
I was, like, the funnest.
119
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,019
Ow!
120
00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:25,787
Hey, isn't there some weird field
121
00:03:25,889 --> 00:03:27,022
that you can play in?
122
00:03:27,124 --> 00:03:27,889
Hi, Craig.
123
00:03:27,991 --> 00:03:29,324
[Music played]
124
00:03:29,426 --> 00:03:30,425
Gah! Barry?!
125
00:03:30,527 --> 00:03:32,060
Hey, I drank all your 5 Alive.
126
00:03:32,162 --> 00:03:33,161
What are you doing here?
127
00:03:33,263 --> 00:03:34,362
Hello?!
128
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:35,697
It's my college tour!
129
00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:37,799
I told you like 10 times!
130
00:03:37,901 --> 00:03:39,467
I knew that, silly.
131
00:03:39,569 --> 00:03:41,036
I just lost track of the days
132
00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:43,104
with all the awesome
parties and whatnot.
133
00:03:43,206 --> 00:03:44,539
There's so many parties.
134
00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:45,807
Which are all totally real,
135
00:03:45,909 --> 00:03:47,776
because I am killing
it here. [Chuckles]
136
00:03:47,878 --> 00:03:51,212
Dude, this weekend is gonna
be the stuff of legend!
137
00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:52,347
So, where's the first rager at?
138
00:03:52,449 --> 00:03:54,115
But Erica only knew of one,
139
00:03:54,217 --> 00:03:55,784
that she already passed on.
140
00:03:55,886 --> 00:03:58,620
Srini! Nice toga, my man!
141
00:03:58,722 --> 00:04:00,622
I changed my mind about
your kareoga thing.
142
00:04:00,724 --> 00:04:01,389
Did you, now?
143
00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:02,590
See, my brother's here,
144
00:04:02,693 --> 00:04:04,626
and I kinda told him that
I'm the queen of college,
145
00:04:04,728 --> 00:04:07,228
so you can see why I now
have a sudden interest
146
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:08,763
in your crappy party.
147
00:04:08,865 --> 00:04:10,198
Just party. Not crappy.
148
00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:12,367
That is the single worst RSVP ever.
149
00:04:12,469 --> 00:04:13,768
And it's been declined.
150
00:04:13,870 --> 00:04:15,236
What? You can't decline!
151
00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:17,305
You're my RA. You have to include me.
152
00:04:17,407 --> 00:04:18,573
Farewell.
153
00:04:18,642 --> 00:04:20,442
So that's a yes?
154
00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:23,344
As Erica was realizing
she'd driven everyone away,
155
00:04:23,447 --> 00:04:25,480
my dad was trying to get me to drive.
156
00:04:25,549 --> 00:04:27,182
Hey! My "Burger Time"!
157
00:04:27,284 --> 00:04:28,483
Okay, moron.
158
00:04:28,585 --> 00:04:30,051
Lose the disturbing "Mom" necklace,
159
00:04:30,153 --> 00:04:31,152
take these keys. [Keys jingle]
160
00:04:31,254 --> 00:04:32,420
I'm teaching you how to drive.
161
00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:35,056
Ooooooh. I'd love to,
but the ol' ball 'n' chain
162
00:04:35,125 --> 00:04:36,791
says I'll learn when
I'm ready, nomasayin'?
163
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:37,992
I say you're ready right now.
164
00:04:38,061 --> 00:04:39,494
But what about all the horrible things
165
00:04:39,563 --> 00:04:41,196
Mom says will happen
if I don't drive good?
166
00:04:41,298 --> 00:04:42,297
What horrible things?
167
00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:44,532
I could get a stop
sign through the heart!
168
00:04:44,601 --> 00:04:46,034
Or a guard rail through the heart!
169
00:04:46,103 --> 00:04:47,869
Or a mailbox through the heart!
170
00:04:47,938 --> 00:04:50,739
Why are all these things going through
your heart? That's not even possible.
171
00:04:50,807 --> 00:04:52,874
Tell that to Mom's
friend Sheila's nephew.
172
00:04:52,976 --> 00:04:54,743
He was driving at dangerous speeds,
173
00:04:54,811 --> 00:04:57,979
and he flipped his car
and got a mailbox...
174
00:04:58,048 --> 00:04:59,514
Okay, you gotta stop listening
175
00:04:59,583 --> 00:05:01,483
to these crazy things
your mom tells you.
176
00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:03,084
So rabid pigeons won't peck my eyes out
177
00:05:03,186 --> 00:05:04,185
through the sunroof?
178
00:05:04,254 --> 00:05:05,720
What is it with you and birds anyway?!
179
00:05:05,822 --> 00:05:06,821
They're just so cocky.
180
00:05:06,923 --> 00:05:09,090
So what if they can
fly? I can do stuff, too.
181
00:05:09,159 --> 00:05:10,425
Like driving?
182
00:05:10,494 --> 00:05:12,694
I bet you that would really
make the birdies jealous.
183
00:05:12,763 --> 00:05:14,562
Yeah, right. Like birds
know what a car is.
184
00:05:14,664 --> 00:05:16,030
Get in the car!
185
00:05:16,099 --> 00:05:18,933
With that, my dad left me
with no choice but to drive.
186
00:05:19,002 --> 00:05:21,970
The only problem was, I'd
have to get in the car first.
187
00:05:22,038 --> 00:05:23,037
I-I can't do it.
188
00:05:23,106 --> 00:05:24,839
You can and you will. Get in!
189
00:05:24,941 --> 00:05:26,641
[Car horns honking]
190
00:05:26,710 --> 00:05:29,043
My son's a moron! Can't you see?
191
00:05:29,146 --> 00:05:30,345
Go around!
192
00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:31,946
He's a moron! Go around!
193
00:05:32,048 --> 00:05:33,782
Mom said I don't have to drive!
194
00:05:33,884 --> 00:05:35,784
- Well, I say you do. Get in.
- No!
195
00:05:35,852 --> 00:05:36,651
- Get in!
- No!
196
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:37,485
- Get in!
- No!
197
00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:38,153
- Get in!
- No!
198
00:05:38,221 --> 00:05:38,820
- Get in!
- No!
199
00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:39,521
- Get in!
- No!
200
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:40,155
- Get in!
- No!
201
00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:40,889
- Get in!
- No!
202
00:05:40,957 --> 00:05:42,423
- Get in! Get in!
- No! No!
203
00:05:42,526 --> 00:05:43,358
- Get in!
- No!
204
00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:44,759
- Get in!
- No! [Car horn honking]
205
00:05:44,828 --> 00:05:46,995
See, what'd I tell ya?
206
00:05:47,063 --> 00:05:48,396
Nothing bad's gonna happen.
207
00:05:48,498 --> 00:05:49,497
Aah!
208
00:05:50,834 --> 00:05:51,966
[Panting]
209
00:05:52,068 --> 00:05:54,135
Just remember, I was
good with the locket.
210
00:05:54,204 --> 00:05:55,770
As I drove for the last time,
211
00:05:55,839 --> 00:05:59,207
Barry was gearing up for
his first college rager.
212
00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:00,108
So?!
213
00:06:00,210 --> 00:06:01,376
Are we ready to rock or what?
214
00:06:01,478 --> 00:06:04,045
Um, turns out that party is super lame,
215
00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:06,147
but I'm gonna find us
something super college-y
216
00:06:06,249 --> 00:06:06,981
and great for us.
217
00:06:07,083 --> 00:06:07,982
Say no more.
218
00:06:08,084 --> 00:06:09,284
I'll ask around and find the fun.
219
00:06:09,352 --> 00:06:10,485
What? How are you gonna do that?
220
00:06:10,554 --> 00:06:12,287
With this here bag of college!
221
00:06:12,389 --> 00:06:13,621
- Bag of wha'?
- College!
222
00:06:13,723 --> 00:06:16,191
In it is everything you
need to kick ass here.
223
00:06:16,259 --> 00:06:17,492
[Music played]
224
00:06:17,561 --> 00:06:18,426
Jean shorts.
225
00:06:18,528 --> 00:06:19,761
Tie-dye poncho.
226
00:06:19,863 --> 00:06:21,162
Trick dog with leash.
227
00:06:21,264 --> 00:06:21,963
Rasta hat.
228
00:06:22,032 --> 00:06:23,131
Fake $100 bill,
229
00:06:23,233 --> 00:06:25,433
attached to a quarter mile of string.
230
00:06:25,502 --> 00:06:26,067
Foam hand.
231
00:06:26,169 --> 00:06:26,968
Sacks to hacky.
232
00:06:27,037 --> 00:06:27,802
Stunt kite.
233
00:06:27,904 --> 00:06:28,770
Oyster crackers.
234
00:06:28,872 --> 00:06:29,771
Unicycle!
235
00:06:29,873 --> 00:06:31,206
A Snoopy snow-cone machine!
236
00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:32,273
Boomerang!
237
00:06:32,375 --> 00:06:33,174
Pogo stick.
238
00:06:33,243 --> 00:06:34,008
Devil sticks.
239
00:06:34,110 --> 00:06:34,809
Drum sticks.
240
00:06:34,911 --> 00:06:35,443
Chopsticks.
241
00:06:35,545 --> 00:06:36,177
Beef sticks.
242
00:06:36,279 --> 00:06:36,845
Pickup sticks.
243
00:06:36,947 --> 00:06:37,812
A stick I found.
244
00:06:37,914 --> 00:06:38,813
Okay, stop.
245
00:06:38,915 --> 00:06:40,248
This bag of crap will not help you.
246
00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:43,051
Trust me, all you need to
do is put yourself out there
247
00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:45,620
to show the other attractive
party-minded boys and girls
248
00:06:45,722 --> 00:06:46,754
that you mean business.
249
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:49,357
Dude, that is not how college works.
250
00:06:49,426 --> 00:06:51,159
That is, unless you have sweet dreads
251
00:06:51,261 --> 00:06:52,126
and an invisible dog.
252
00:06:52,229 --> 00:06:53,261
[Jamaican accent] Check it out,
253
00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:54,729
mons and lady mons.
254
00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:56,264
My dog be jammin'!
255
00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:58,399
Hey, uh, I already told
you, put this crap away
256
00:06:58,468 --> 00:07:00,568
before you embarrass
yourself, or worse, me.
257
00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:02,470
Look! His dog is invisible.
258
00:07:02,572 --> 00:07:03,872
His name's Butterscotch.
259
00:07:03,974 --> 00:07:06,007
He's part Beagle and part not real.
260
00:07:06,109 --> 00:07:07,675
I rescued him from a kill shelter,
261
00:07:07,777 --> 00:07:09,377
although I feel like he rescued me.
262
00:07:10,686 --> 00:07:10,686
- Aww!
- Aww!
263
00:07:11,114 --> 00:07:12,180
Okay, what is happening?
264
00:07:12,282 --> 00:07:13,815
Why are you engaging with this idiot?
265
00:07:13,917 --> 00:07:16,050
Ignore her. She's not a dog person.
266
00:07:16,152 --> 00:07:17,085
Clearly. [Scoffs]
267
00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:18,486
Oh, yeah, I'm the crazy one.
268
00:07:18,555 --> 00:07:19,420
There is no dog.
269
00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:20,722
Ow!
270
00:07:20,824 --> 00:07:23,024
I know that was intentional!
271
00:07:23,093 --> 00:07:25,660
As Erica was hit by my
brother's instant success,
272
00:07:25,729 --> 00:07:28,496
my mom was about to be
struck by some bad news.
273
00:07:28,598 --> 00:07:29,898
There's my handsome men.
274
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,966
I just snickered up a batch of doodles.
275
00:07:32,068 --> 00:07:33,401
Should you tell her or should I?
276
00:07:33,503 --> 00:07:35,536
Let me take this.
277
00:07:35,639 --> 00:07:37,205
I was out teaching him how to drive.
278
00:07:37,274 --> 00:07:38,473
The [bleep] you say?
279
00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:39,807
Good for you, kiddo!
280
00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:41,509
No, no. It was not so good.
281
00:07:41,611 --> 00:07:42,744
As a matter of fact, it was worse
282
00:07:42,846 --> 00:07:44,045
than any of us could have imagined.
283
00:07:44,147 --> 00:07:45,046
I ruined the car!
284
00:07:45,148 --> 00:07:46,347
He ruined the car?
285
00:07:46,449 --> 00:07:47,782
- Not great.
- Oh, my God.
286
00:07:47,851 --> 00:07:50,251
Please tell me you made
him wear a seatbelt.
287
00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:52,053
Technically, I didn't get that far.
288
00:07:52,122 --> 00:07:54,923
Doesn't matter. You
always wear a seatbelt.
289
00:07:54,991 --> 00:07:56,524
- Why?
- Because of the road pirates.
290
00:07:56,626 --> 00:07:58,259
What the hell are road pirates?
291
00:07:58,361 --> 00:08:00,461
They're like sea pirates,
but instead of other ships,
292
00:08:00,530 --> 00:08:02,363
they plunder mid-sized
sedans and hatchbacks.
293
00:08:02,465 --> 00:08:03,698
That's right. Without a belt,
294
00:08:03,767 --> 00:08:05,199
they'll just reach into the window
295
00:08:05,302 --> 00:08:06,434
and yank you out of the car.
296
00:08:06,536 --> 00:08:07,602
What are these words?!
297
00:08:07,671 --> 00:08:08,970
What are you teaching
him when I'm not around?
298
00:08:09,039 --> 00:08:10,838
The good news is,
I've officially decided
299
00:08:10,941 --> 00:08:12,473
I'm not ready to drive this year.
300
00:08:12,542 --> 00:08:14,976
Adam, you are my little cookie.
301
00:08:15,078 --> 00:08:17,078
My scrumptious oatmeal-nibble man.
302
00:08:17,147 --> 00:08:19,847
If you're not ready for the
next three decades, so be it.
303
00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:21,382
[Muffled] Your little
cookie thanks you, Mama.
304
00:08:21,484 --> 00:08:23,151
Here's a little crumb. Mwah.
305
00:08:23,219 --> 00:08:24,352
Oh, I could just eat you up.
306
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:26,087
It's easy, 'cause I'm
a soft-baked cookie.
307
00:08:26,189 --> 00:08:27,555
Oh, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom!
308
00:08:27,657 --> 00:08:28,823
Nom, nom, nom, nom!
309
00:08:28,892 --> 00:08:29,791
Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom!
310
00:08:29,859 --> 00:08:31,859
- Oh...
- Just go!
311
00:08:31,962 --> 00:08:33,795
[Laughs] Nom, nom!
312
00:08:33,863 --> 00:08:35,029
What the hell did you do, Murray?!
313
00:08:35,131 --> 00:08:36,431
I finally agree with you.
314
00:08:36,533 --> 00:08:37,999
That kid should never drive,
315
00:08:38,068 --> 00:08:39,901
and he should stay your
little baby forever.
316
00:08:40,003 --> 00:08:41,936
No! Adam needs to drive!
317
00:08:42,038 --> 00:08:43,571
Then what's with the cookie business?!
318
00:08:43,673 --> 00:08:45,006
And the road pirates?
319
00:08:45,075 --> 00:08:47,709
I spent the last five years
scaring Adam with my stories
320
00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:50,011
so he'd be a super terrified,
321
00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:51,212
very cautious driver.
322
00:08:51,314 --> 00:08:53,181
Now's the time for you to swoop in
323
00:08:53,249 --> 00:08:55,683
and call him a moron
until he learns to drive.
324
00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:57,285
Wait, that's your plan?
325
00:08:57,387 --> 00:08:58,886
Worked perfectly for Erica and Barry.
326
00:08:58,989 --> 00:09:00,388
I don't know what went wrong here.
327
00:09:00,490 --> 00:09:01,556
I have a theory.
328
00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:03,758
Your stories didn't
teach him to be cautious.
329
00:09:03,827 --> 00:09:06,961
They just terrified a very
gullible, anxious child.
330
00:09:07,030 --> 00:09:09,931
No one wants your objective
opinions based on facts, Dad.
331
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:11,299
We'll handle it, Al.
332
00:09:11,368 --> 00:09:13,801
With that, my parents
shut down my grandfather,
333
00:09:13,903 --> 00:09:15,570
who went upstairs and
bribed me to drive.
334
00:09:15,672 --> 00:09:16,971
Okey dokey, it's happening.
335
00:09:17,073 --> 00:09:18,439
We'll see you in a few hours.
336
00:09:18,541 --> 00:09:19,707
What? Wh-Where are you going?
337
00:09:19,776 --> 00:09:21,876
To take the kid out
driving, just like we agreed.
338
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:23,111
Uh, no.
339
00:09:23,179 --> 00:09:25,446
You had your diver's
license taken away, remember?
340
00:09:25,548 --> 00:09:27,415
So? Doesn't mean I can't still drive.
341
00:09:27,517 --> 00:09:28,983
That's exactly what it means.
342
00:09:29,052 --> 00:09:30,685
Wait, are you still driving?
343
00:09:30,754 --> 00:09:33,054
Sure. How else do you
think I get here every day?
344
00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:35,089
The bus. You told us you took the bus.
345
00:09:35,191 --> 00:09:37,492
Why would I do that? I got a car.
346
00:09:37,594 --> 00:09:38,860
Did you know about this?
347
00:09:38,962 --> 00:09:40,561
Of course. We have crazy
adventures every week.
348
00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:41,729
How do you think we get there?
349
00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:42,897
Oh, my God, Dad!
350
00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:44,999
It's not safe for you behind the wheel!
351
00:09:45,101 --> 00:09:46,734
You crashed into a drive-through!
352
00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:48,569
What crash? It was a nudge.
353
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:50,238
We both know it wasn't a nudge.
354
00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:51,439
I nudged it.
355
00:09:51,541 --> 00:09:53,241
In fact, I don't even
think I touched it.
356
00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:54,742
This is becoming a whole thing.
357
00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:55,977
I'm gonna rain check,
358
00:09:56,079 --> 00:09:57,845
but we can pick this
up again in a few years.
359
00:09:57,947 --> 00:09:59,981
No! No rain checks!
360
00:10:00,083 --> 00:10:02,050
Your hero Pops is gonna
teach you how to drive.
361
00:10:02,152 --> 00:10:03,084
End of story!
362
00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:05,219
Finally! Things are looking up.
363
00:10:05,321 --> 00:10:06,454
But we're coming, too.
364
00:10:06,556 --> 00:10:07,822
Nope! They sucked again.
365
00:10:08,877 --> 00:10:12,212
It was Barry's first day at
college, and people were noticing.
366
00:10:12,402 --> 00:10:13,716
Turns out being overly confident
367
00:10:13,818 --> 00:10:14,717
and unembarrassable
368
00:10:14,786 --> 00:10:16,219
got him mocked in high school,
369
00:10:16,287 --> 00:10:19,188
but in college, he quickly
became the life of the party.
370
00:10:19,257 --> 00:10:22,058
Gah! It's been three
hours. Can we just go?
371
00:10:22,127 --> 00:10:23,426
For sure. We got a ton of stuff to do.
372
00:10:23,528 --> 00:10:24,560
Stuff? What Stuff?
373
00:10:24,662 --> 00:10:26,095
Delta Nu has a pig roast,
374
00:10:26,197 --> 00:10:28,831
and I got invited to a kareoga party.
375
00:10:28,933 --> 00:10:31,234
Wait, isn't that in your dorm?
376
00:10:31,269 --> 00:10:33,669
Uh, yeah, but no one's going
to that weird-ass party.
377
00:10:33,772 --> 00:10:35,405
Yo! It's my boy Srini!
378
00:10:35,507 --> 00:10:36,906
Question about your party...
379
00:10:37,008 --> 00:10:38,174
No, no, no! No questions!
380
00:10:38,276 --> 00:10:39,809
Wait, you know this girl, Big Tasty?
381
00:10:39,911 --> 00:10:40,843
She's my sister.
382
00:10:40,945 --> 00:10:42,245
Ah, she sucks at first,
383
00:10:42,313 --> 00:10:43,279
but you'll come to love her.
384
00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:45,048
We're currently still
in the sucking phase.
385
00:10:45,116 --> 00:10:46,582
Oh, my God! What world am I living in?
386
00:10:46,651 --> 00:10:48,451
Fine. Since you're related to Big Tasty,
387
00:10:48,553 --> 00:10:51,087
I'm willing to overlook
your extremely hurtful words
388
00:10:51,189 --> 00:10:52,355
and re-invite you to my soiree.
389
00:10:52,457 --> 00:10:53,956
You hear that, Erica?
390
00:10:54,059 --> 00:10:56,225
He's gonna ignore how terrible you are.
391
00:10:56,327 --> 00:10:57,627
Forget it! You can just go.
392
00:10:57,729 --> 00:10:59,495
If some stupid party is more important
393
00:10:59,597 --> 00:11:00,930
than your own flesh and blood,
394
00:11:01,032 --> 00:11:01,798
then have a blast.
395
00:11:01,866 --> 00:11:02,999
I will! Thanks!
396
00:11:03,068 --> 00:11:04,600
Who wants snow cones?
397
00:11:04,702 --> 00:11:06,002
Ow!
398
00:11:06,071 --> 00:11:08,571
Okay, now I know you're
clearly doing it on purpose!
399
00:11:08,673 --> 00:11:09,939
While Erica felt burned,
400
00:11:10,041 --> 00:11:11,941
I was the one hoping not to crash.
401
00:11:12,043 --> 00:11:13,843
You're doing great, kiddo.
402
00:11:13,912 --> 00:11:15,945
Just keep going on Rydal Road.
403
00:11:16,047 --> 00:11:18,648
No, Dad. Rydal Road
intersects the train tracks.
404
00:11:18,750 --> 00:11:19,615
Wait, a train's coming?!
405
00:11:19,717 --> 00:11:21,884
- No!
- Maybe, maybe.
406
00:11:21,953 --> 00:11:23,319
Look for the flashing red lights
407
00:11:23,421 --> 00:11:25,321
and the
up-and-down-gate thingy.
408
00:11:25,390 --> 00:11:27,957
Oy vey, Bev. There is no train.
409
00:11:28,059 --> 00:11:31,094
Essie Karp's pool man thought
the same thing until... Boom!
410
00:11:31,196 --> 00:11:33,463
His truck was T-boned
by a commuter train.
411
00:11:33,531 --> 00:11:35,898
Now he holds the skimmer
with a homemade clamp.
412
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,300
Homemade clamp?
413
00:11:37,402 --> 00:11:38,501
It's attached to his shoulder.
414
00:11:38,603 --> 00:11:40,136
He opens and shuts it
415
00:11:40,205 --> 00:11:41,804
with wires he keeps in his mouth.
416
00:11:41,873 --> 00:11:44,207
No arm part? Just a
clamp and a shoulder?
417
00:11:44,275 --> 00:11:45,808
Pulleys. It works very well.
418
00:11:45,877 --> 00:11:47,743
Wouldn't he just choose
a different career
419
00:11:47,846 --> 00:11:49,145
if he had a homemade clamp?
420
00:11:49,214 --> 00:11:52,215
Skimming is his life,
Murray. It's what he knows.
421
00:11:52,317 --> 00:11:53,916
It's what he knows!
422
00:11:54,018 --> 00:11:55,084
Everything you're saying right now
423
00:11:55,186 --> 00:11:56,519
is very distracting.
424
00:11:56,588 --> 00:11:58,855
Wait, if the clamp gets
wet, doesn't it get rusty?
425
00:11:58,957 --> 00:12:00,656
Of course it gets rusty.
426
00:12:00,758 --> 00:12:02,291
He works around water and metal.
427
00:12:02,393 --> 00:12:04,293
That's why he wears
a bag over the clamp.
428
00:12:04,362 --> 00:12:07,497
Ah, come on, there's gotta
be a better way to clean pools
429
00:12:07,599 --> 00:12:09,432
than a homemade clamp
with a bag over it.
430
00:12:09,534 --> 00:12:10,766
He's a very determined man!
431
00:12:10,869 --> 00:12:12,702
Please drop it already.
432
00:12:12,804 --> 00:12:14,337
You know he cleans gutters in the fall?
433
00:12:14,439 --> 00:12:16,072
He just swaps in a
scooper for the clamp.
434
00:12:16,174 --> 00:12:17,573
Scoop? What kind of scooper? [Laughs]
435
00:12:17,642 --> 00:12:20,109
He scoops with a homemade ladle.
436
00:12:20,178 --> 00:12:22,512
He scoops out all the gutters.
437
00:12:22,614 --> 00:12:25,214
So he's scooping gutters
with a homemade ladle?
438
00:12:25,283 --> 00:12:27,116
-He scoops and skims!
-You expect me to believe that?
439
00:12:27,185 --> 00:12:29,485
He scoops in the fall and skims
in the summer! Scoops and skims.
440
00:12:29,587 --> 00:12:31,154
? So, come on ?
441
00:12:31,222 --> 00:12:36,459
? Take a bottle, shake it up ?
442
00:12:36,528 --> 00:12:41,597
? Break the bubble, break it up ?
443
00:12:41,666 --> 00:12:43,266
Crowd: [Muffled] ?
Pour some sugar on me ?
444
00:12:43,368 --> 00:12:45,234
Enough with the sugar and the pouring!
445
00:12:45,303 --> 00:12:46,235
Turn it down!
446
00:12:46,304 --> 00:12:47,837
Wow, you're, like, really harshing
447
00:12:47,906 --> 00:12:49,071
on Def Leppard right now.
448
00:12:49,140 --> 00:12:50,139
I can't believe you're actually going
449
00:12:50,208 --> 00:12:51,174
to that dumb party.
450
00:12:51,242 --> 00:12:52,842
Totally, and I'm, like, super bummed
451
00:12:52,944 --> 00:12:54,644
you're not gonna be there.
452
00:12:54,712 --> 00:12:56,445
Well, you don't have to
be sarcastic about it.
453
00:12:56,514 --> 00:12:59,215
I'm, like, not. This is just how I talk.
454
00:12:59,317 --> 00:13:00,650
Okay, screw this!
455
00:13:00,718 --> 00:13:03,452
There's no way I'll let my brother
be better at college than me.
456
00:13:05,590 --> 00:13:07,623
It's time to show 'em how it's done.
457
00:13:07,725 --> 00:13:12,195
? I once was lost ?
458
00:13:12,263 --> 00:13:14,163
So Erica would prove she could kill it,
459
00:13:14,232 --> 00:13:16,732
by literally murdering all
the fun out of the party.
460
00:13:16,801 --> 00:13:25,474
? Was blind, but now I seeeee ?
461
00:13:26,477 --> 00:13:28,878
[Person coughs]
462
00:13:28,980 --> 00:13:31,881
Oooookay!
463
00:13:31,950 --> 00:13:35,084
Let's keep this party
going! Who's up next?
464
00:13:35,186 --> 00:13:36,552
I was gonna sing The Go-Go's,
465
00:13:36,621 --> 00:13:38,788
but I didn't realize this
party is religious-themed.
466
00:13:38,890 --> 00:13:39,989
What? No. [Chuckles]
467
00:13:40,058 --> 00:13:42,058
That's just a beautiful
song that showcases my voice.
468
00:13:42,126 --> 00:13:43,960
Oh. Job well done, then.
469
00:13:44,028 --> 00:13:45,962
Oh, she's not being mean.
That's just how she talks.
470
00:13:46,064 --> 00:13:48,030
No, this time, it was
totally meant to be mean.
471
00:13:48,099 --> 00:13:49,332
[Gasps]
472
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,133
Come on, Erica, don't go!
473
00:13:51,236 --> 00:13:52,201
Come on.
474
00:13:52,303 --> 00:13:53,202
What's the point?
475
00:13:53,271 --> 00:13:54,470
I can't win here.
476
00:13:54,572 --> 00:13:55,771
What am I supposed to do...
477
00:13:55,873 --> 00:13:57,240
Use your stupid bag of college?
478
00:13:57,342 --> 00:13:58,241
This is nuts.
479
00:13:58,343 --> 00:13:59,942
Hey, mon, I'm Barry Goldberg.
480
00:14:00,044 --> 00:14:01,477
I have a see-through dog,
481
00:14:01,546 --> 00:14:03,312
and I ride a unicycle with a stick.
482
00:14:03,381 --> 00:14:05,281
Or how about a Snoopy snow cone
483
00:14:05,383 --> 00:14:07,516
while I strap on breakdancing pants
484
00:14:07,585 --> 00:14:09,885
and wear this captain's
hat for some reason?
485
00:14:09,988 --> 00:14:11,053
Okay, when you use them all at once,
486
00:14:11,155 --> 00:14:11,721
you just look silly.
487
00:14:11,823 --> 00:14:12,555
[Clatter]
488
00:14:12,624 --> 00:14:13,723
Don't you get it, dude?
489
00:14:13,825 --> 00:14:14,890
No one likes me here.
490
00:14:14,993 --> 00:14:16,459
I don't even like me here.
491
00:14:16,561 --> 00:14:17,560
Then it's time you show them
492
00:14:17,629 --> 00:14:19,095
the Erica we all knew back home.
493
00:14:19,163 --> 00:14:19,929
How?
494
00:14:20,031 --> 00:14:21,764
High school was so easy.
495
00:14:21,866 --> 00:14:23,833
I didn't even have to
try to make friends.
496
00:14:23,901 --> 00:14:26,269
I get it. It's new, and it's scary.
497
00:14:26,371 --> 00:14:28,437
But I guarantee, if you
put yourself out there,
498
00:14:28,539 --> 00:14:30,473
everyone will love the
real Erica Goldberg.
499
00:14:30,541 --> 00:14:32,742
How do I introduce
everyone to the real me?
500
00:14:32,844 --> 00:14:34,543
Mmmm, I got a plan.
501
00:14:34,646 --> 00:14:35,978
Murray: So he's scooping.
502
00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:37,146
Beverly: He scoops.
503
00:14:37,215 --> 00:14:39,782
I'm sorry, what's you're
saying, science fiction!
504
00:14:39,884 --> 00:14:41,384
You just made all this crap up.
505
00:14:41,486 --> 00:14:43,085
- I didn't. I...
- Oh, yeah, you did.
506
00:14:43,187 --> 00:14:44,620
I'm not that creative.
507
00:14:44,689 --> 00:14:47,423
Oh, yeah, scooping with a ladle,
I'd argue, is very creative.
508
00:14:47,525 --> 00:14:49,292
Listen, listen. Listen to me.
509
00:14:49,394 --> 00:14:51,160
Please drop it already!
510
00:14:51,262 --> 00:14:52,261
It's doubters like you
511
00:14:52,330 --> 00:14:53,963
that make him want to skim harder.
512
00:14:54,065 --> 00:14:55,831
Turns out Pops was right.
513
00:14:55,933 --> 00:14:57,900
My dad's nagging
pressure to make me drive,
514
00:14:58,002 --> 00:15:00,436
coupled with my mom's
constant car-safety stories,
515
00:15:00,538 --> 00:15:02,705
weren't exactly
prepping me for the road.
516
00:15:02,807 --> 00:15:03,973
I was in full panic mode.
517
00:15:04,075 --> 00:15:06,042
Stop talking about clamps and pool men.
518
00:15:06,144 --> 00:15:08,010
Here come the train
tracks. What do I do?!
519
00:15:08,112 --> 00:15:09,111
Just drive, moron.
520
00:15:09,180 --> 00:15:11,213
He's right. I am a
moron. Grab the wheel.
521
00:15:11,316 --> 00:15:15,284
No! Ignore your dad
and the pool-guy story.
522
00:15:15,353 --> 00:15:17,119
I don't see flashing
lights or gates lowering.
523
00:15:17,221 --> 00:15:17,987
What if it's broken?
524
00:15:18,089 --> 00:15:19,855
Just punch it, kiddo.
525
00:15:19,957 --> 00:15:23,859
Baaaaaaaalls!
526
00:15:26,831 --> 00:15:27,797
[Breathing heavily]
527
00:15:27,899 --> 00:15:28,831
You did it!
528
00:15:28,933 --> 00:15:29,832
He did it!
529
00:15:29,934 --> 00:15:31,734
I did it! You were right, Pops.
530
00:15:31,836 --> 00:15:32,868
This whole driving thing isn't so...
531
00:15:32,970 --> 00:15:36,839
[Crash, tires screech]
532
00:15:39,210 --> 00:15:44,313
Well, that was a little
more than a nudge.
533
00:15:45,355 --> 00:15:47,794
Pops was an excellent driving teacher.
534
00:15:47,977 --> 00:15:50,401
Unfortunately, I was
not a great student.
535
00:15:50,436 --> 00:15:53,491
Surprising amount of paperwork
for a tiny, little nudge.
536
00:15:53,593 --> 00:15:55,159
Dad, we T-boned a cop.
537
00:15:55,228 --> 00:15:57,261
And you told him to stop
making a big deal out of it.
538
00:15:57,330 --> 00:15:59,997
I think that cop had
something going on at home.
539
00:16:00,066 --> 00:16:01,132
[Music playing]
540
00:16:01,201 --> 00:16:03,468
Okay, first things first.
541
00:16:03,570 --> 00:16:06,337
Give me your keys, Al. No more driving.
542
00:16:06,406 --> 00:16:09,107
How is this on me? Adam
was behind the wheel.
543
00:16:09,175 --> 00:16:10,341
You know how it works.
544
00:16:10,443 --> 00:16:11,843
It's the circle of driving.
545
00:16:11,911 --> 00:16:14,579
Somebody loses a license,
someone gets a license.
546
00:16:14,647 --> 00:16:16,714
Or, Pops keeps driving, 'cause I'm not.
547
00:16:16,816 --> 00:16:18,950
See? The circle of driving ends with me.
548
00:16:19,018 --> 00:16:20,651
The circle of driving
does not end with you.
549
00:16:20,754 --> 00:16:22,687
Or...
550
00:16:22,756 --> 00:16:24,222
Pops keeps driving, 'cause I'm not.
551
00:16:24,290 --> 00:16:25,923
See? The circle of driving ends with me.
552
00:16:26,025 --> 00:16:27,725
You can't end the circle of driving.
553
00:16:27,794 --> 00:16:29,961
Oh, I just did! The circle is complete!
554
00:16:30,063 --> 00:16:31,095
Listen, Cookie Bite.
555
00:16:31,197 --> 00:16:33,498
I know you're scared to drive.
556
00:16:33,566 --> 00:16:34,499
But you shouldn't be.
557
00:16:34,567 --> 00:16:39,270
Truth is, I might've
slightly exaggerated
558
00:16:39,339 --> 00:16:40,738
the safety of the highways and byways,
559
00:16:40,807 --> 00:16:42,907
just to make sure you were safe.
560
00:16:43,009 --> 00:16:44,876
So I won't stall out on train tracks
561
00:16:44,944 --> 00:16:46,377
and end up cleaning pools with my face?
562
00:16:46,446 --> 00:16:47,812
Not if you get regular oil changes
563
00:16:47,914 --> 00:16:48,813
and fill up your car...
564
00:16:48,882 --> 00:16:50,281
- Beverly.
- Sorry.
565
00:16:50,383 --> 00:16:51,816
Train tracks are fine.
566
00:16:51,918 --> 00:16:53,918
Murray? What about you?
567
00:16:53,987 --> 00:16:54,719
What about me?
568
00:16:54,821 --> 00:16:56,754
Well, maybe you apologize
569
00:16:56,856 --> 00:16:58,756
for always calling the kid a moron.
570
00:16:58,858 --> 00:17:02,760
[Grumbles indistinctly]
571
00:17:02,829 --> 00:17:06,097
Aww. That's the nicest
sound you ever made at me.
572
00:17:06,199 --> 00:17:07,899
Even morons can drive.
573
00:17:07,967 --> 00:17:10,334
Especially you.
574
00:17:10,437 --> 00:17:13,471
[Music played]
575
00:17:13,573 --> 00:17:15,273
Um, hey.
576
00:17:15,341 --> 00:17:17,275
I thought we could keep kareoga going.
577
00:17:17,377 --> 00:17:18,876
Um, we're good, Whitney Houston.
578
00:17:18,978 --> 00:17:21,646
Look, I just wanted people to like me.
579
00:17:21,714 --> 00:17:25,349
Then, when they didn't, I
acted judgey and showed off.
580
00:17:25,418 --> 00:17:28,052
Maybe I can make up for it?
581
00:17:28,121 --> 00:17:28,986
Okay.
582
00:17:30,356 --> 00:17:33,891
Hey, everybody, I'm Erica.
583
00:17:33,993 --> 00:17:36,727
I'm also Big Tasty's sister.
584
00:17:36,830 --> 00:17:38,396
All: [Cheering] Big Tasty!
585
00:17:38,498 --> 00:17:39,597
Mm-hmm.
586
00:17:39,666 --> 00:17:42,700
Anyway, I hear part of
kareoga is singing along,
587
00:17:42,802 --> 00:17:44,669
so join in if you want.
588
00:17:44,737 --> 00:17:50,641
[Playing "Pour Some Sugar on Me"]
589
00:17:50,710 --> 00:17:53,511
? Love is like a bomb,
baby, come on, get it on ?
590
00:17:53,580 --> 00:17:56,380
? Livin' like a lover
with a radar phone ?
591
00:17:56,449 --> 00:17:59,183
? Lookin' like a tramp,
like a video vamp ?
592
00:17:59,252 --> 00:18:02,286
? I'm a demolition woman,
will you be my man? ?
593
00:18:02,355 --> 00:18:06,791
[Playing guitar]
594
00:18:06,860 --> 00:18:10,027
[Music playing]
595
00:18:10,129 --> 00:18:11,362
Hey, Pops? Got a second?
596
00:18:11,431 --> 00:18:13,798
Sure thing, kiddo.
597
00:18:13,900 --> 00:18:15,900
Listen, I was thinking...
598
00:18:16,002 --> 00:18:17,969
Maybe Mom and Dad are right.
599
00:18:18,037 --> 00:18:20,571
Maybe it's time for you to stop driving.
600
00:18:20,673 --> 00:18:21,839
For real this time.
601
00:18:21,908 --> 00:18:23,641
Your parents put you up to this?
602
00:18:23,743 --> 00:18:25,209
No.
603
00:18:25,311 --> 00:18:26,644
This time, it's coming from me.
604
00:18:26,713 --> 00:18:30,014
I know Mom drilled car
safety into my head and all,
605
00:18:30,083 --> 00:18:32,683
but I think, in your case,
you really should listen.
606
00:18:32,785 --> 00:18:35,353
Adam, I can't just stop driving.
607
00:18:35,421 --> 00:18:39,090
I mean, how are we gonna go
on all our crazy adventures?
608
00:18:39,192 --> 00:18:40,725
Easy. I'll drive us.
609
00:18:40,827 --> 00:18:41,526
You?
610
00:18:41,628 --> 00:18:43,060
If getting my license
611
00:18:43,162 --> 00:18:45,196
means I get to keep
hanging out with you,
612
00:18:45,298 --> 00:18:47,331
then I'm all in.
613
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:49,734
You'd do that for me?
614
00:18:49,802 --> 00:18:51,335
Then I guess these are yours now.
615
00:18:51,437 --> 00:18:52,403
[Keys rattle]
616
00:18:52,505 --> 00:18:54,639
[Keys jingling]
617
00:18:54,741 --> 00:18:56,107
[Clatter]
618
00:18:56,209 --> 00:18:57,074
I'll work on that.
619
00:18:57,176 --> 00:18:57,975
Come here.
620
00:18:58,044 --> 00:18:59,277
And with that,
621
00:18:59,345 --> 00:19:01,679
the circle of driving
was finally complete.
622
00:19:01,748 --> 00:19:03,981
? Shake it up ?
623
00:19:04,083 --> 00:19:09,787
? Break the bubble, break it up ?
624
00:19:09,856 --> 00:19:13,324
? Pour some sugar on me ?
625
00:19:13,426 --> 00:19:15,526
? In the name of love ?
626
00:19:15,628 --> 00:19:18,930
? Pour some sugar on me ?
627
00:19:19,032 --> 00:19:21,198
? Come on, fire me up ?
628
00:19:21,301 --> 00:19:22,833
There's nothing harder in life
629
00:19:22,936 --> 00:19:24,502
than facing what scares you most.
630
00:19:24,604 --> 00:19:26,404
Sometimes you just need a little nudge
631
00:19:26,472 --> 00:19:28,406
to get behind the wheel and hit the gas.
632
00:19:28,508 --> 00:19:30,107
Drive safe, moron.
633
00:19:30,209 --> 00:19:32,310
And when your family's
along for the ride,
634
00:19:32,412 --> 00:19:34,612
nothing you can't do,
nowhere you can't go.
635
00:19:34,681 --> 00:19:35,913
? Listen ?
636
00:19:35,982 --> 00:19:38,482
? Red light, yellow
light, green-alight, go ?
637
00:19:38,585 --> 00:19:41,452
? Sweet dream,
saccharine, loosen up ?
638
00:19:41,554 --> 00:19:44,889
That magic night, Erica finally
found her place at college.
639
00:19:44,958 --> 00:19:47,758
And I found that history had
a way of repeating itself.
640
00:19:47,860 --> 00:19:49,627
I know you're bummed
about giving up driving,
641
00:19:49,696 --> 00:19:51,529
so I thought this place
would cheer you up.
642
00:19:51,631 --> 00:19:54,231
[Music playing]
643
00:19:54,300 --> 00:19:56,067
You know me well, kiddo.
644
00:19:56,169 --> 00:19:57,969
Oh, hell no!
645
00:19:58,071 --> 00:19:59,670
We're going to the Spaghetti Warehouse
646
00:19:59,772 --> 00:20:00,638
across the street.
647
00:20:00,740 --> 00:20:02,239
Don't even look at this place.
648
00:20:02,342 --> 00:20:06,210
? Pour some sugar on me ?
649
00:20:06,312 --> 00:20:08,012
? Oh, in the name of love ?
650
00:20:08,114 --> 00:20:11,349
? Pour some sugar on me ?
651
00:20:11,451 --> 00:20:12,717
In the end, all it takes
652
00:20:12,819 --> 00:20:14,685
is finding the courage to crank it up,
653
00:20:14,787 --> 00:20:17,288
hit the road, and keep on driving.
654
00:20:17,390 --> 00:20:20,224
? I'm hot, sticky sweet ?
655
00:20:20,326 --> 00:20:22,593
? From my head to my feet, yeah ?
656
00:20:22,695 --> 00:20:25,229
- ["Pour Some Sugar on Me" playing]
- _
657
00:20:25,331 --> 00:20:29,800
? Take a bottle, shake it up ?
658
00:20:29,902 --> 00:20:32,370
- [Ding!]
- _
659
00:20:32,472 --> 00:20:34,905
? Break the bubble ?
660
00:20:37,180 --> 00:20:38,346
[Water running]
661
00:20:38,448 --> 00:20:39,180
[Gasps]
662
00:20:39,283 --> 00:20:40,815
Happy birthday!
663
00:20:40,918 --> 00:20:41,917
What do you want for breakfast?
664
00:20:42,019 --> 00:20:42,951
Privacy!
665
00:20:43,053 --> 00:20:44,085
Oh, please.
666
00:20:44,187 --> 00:20:47,122
Don't forget to wash your bottom.
667
00:20:47,224 --> 00:20:48,690
_
668
00:20:48,792 --> 00:20:50,258
[Water running]
669
00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:51,092
[Gasps]
670
00:20:51,194 --> 00:20:52,527
Happy birthday, Schmoo.
671
00:20:52,629 --> 00:20:53,895
What do you want for breakfast?
672
00:20:53,997 --> 00:20:56,665
How's about some pancake dippers?
673
00:20:56,767 --> 00:20:59,634
Don't forget to wash your bottom.
674
00:20:59,736 --> 00:21:00,568
On it!
675
00:21:00,569 --> 00:21:03,470
Synced and Corrected by YesCool
www.addic7ed.com
676
00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:08,070
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