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1
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:56,754
ALARM CLOCK BUZZES
2
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(TV) 'Move those hips!
3
00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:01,678
'And swivel and loose.
4
00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:05,673
'And swivel and loose.
5
00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:10,713
'Reach and stretch.'
6
00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:11,755
Ay up!
7
00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:13,398
'Reach and up.
8
00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:14,993
'And up... '
9
00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:16,957
CHRIS COUGHS
10
00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:18,553
'Let's see those buttocks clench!
11
00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:22,349
'Are you feeling it? Good!
12
00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:24,032
'Now relax.
13
00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:25,712
'Feel the sweat.
14
00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:27,199
'Enjoy it.
15
00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:29,475
'Now, onto the pelvis.
16
00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:32,518
'Stand with your feet firmly apart.'
17
00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:58,708
Fucking Viagra.
18
00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:46,753
Mum?
19
00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:05,277
How much is there?
20
00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:07,476
One thousand smackers.
21
00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:09,835
I'd put it in premium bonds.
22
00:03:09,920 --> 00:03:14,471
See, it's low risk, with
a steady return. And it's tax free.
23
00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:16,312
You sure you didn't just forget?
24
00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:17,799
Forget what?
25
00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:20,314
She said she's going on holiday,
you said "Yeah",
26
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,356
dropped a few pills
and forgot about it?
27
00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:24,590
I dunno. It says
she's gone for a few days.
28
00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:26,159
Is it true?!
29
00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:34,108
- Our money, babe! Our money! Yes!
- That's fucking great, Anwar.
30
00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:35,394
(Tony) Cheer up, you fucker.
31
00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:38,711
You're home alone and you've got
an important question to answer.
32
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:40,358
How you gonna spend this money?
33
00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:45,395
SCREAMS
34
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:56,472
Don't you ever, don't you ever
35
00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:59,996
Stop being dandyShowing me you're handsome
36
00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:03,117
Don't you ever, don't you ever
37
00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:05,998
Stop being dandyShowing me you're handsome
38
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:09,516
Prince Charming, Prince Charming
39
00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:12,273
Ridicule is nothing to be scared of
40
00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:18,870
Don't you ever, don't you ever
41
00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:22,350
Lower yourselfForgetting all your standards
42
00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:25,352
Prince Charming, Prince Charming
43
00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:28,398
Ridicule is nothing to be scared of
44
00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:37,430
CHEERING AND WHISTLING
45
00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:39,397
He's had an erection for 15 hours?
46
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:41,835
Doesn't even know
how many Viagras he popped.
47
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:44,070
He's holding it down with Sellotape.
48
00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:45,229
Sellotape?
49
00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:48,475
Yeah. I don't know how.
50
00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:51,233
But he's Sellotaped it to his belly,
or his balls...
51
00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:53,550
I don't know,
Sellotaped it to something.
52
00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:01,718
All right?
53
00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:07,273
- So it hasn't held then.
- Must be the sweat.
54
00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:10,989
See, I reckon life's about
living in the moment,
55
00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:15,437
you know... finding,
you know, happiness, pleasure.
56
00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:18,033
You know?
57
00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:21,557
Whoa. Steady.
58
00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:25,755
I'm not going to lie to you,
59
00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:28,916
I'm in love with someone else.
60
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:30,877
But why should I love you?
61
00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,030
We don't know each other at all...
62
00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:38,593
And I've got this physical need thing,
63
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:41,274
and I was hoping...
64
00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:43,874
maybe you have too.
65
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:45,313
SHE RETCHES
66
00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:53,032
You look for the gummy bits,
yeah, through the paper.
67
00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:57,078
Lick it.
68
00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:00,798
And then...
69
00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:03,314
Bruv, what papers are you using?
70
00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:06,153
Cos I heard TCI Whites...
71
00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:09,152
No. No, man.
They're satisfying, yeah,
72
00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:11,879
but the density's off,
and there's too much cellulose.
73
00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:14,758
I thought - maybe I'm wrong -
74
00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:17,400
we should get to know each other first.
75
00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:20,079
I'II...
76
00:06:20,840 --> 00:06:23,354
...call you tomorrow.
77
00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:25,510
What's your...
78
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:28,273
What's your number?
79
00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:29,509
Sid.
80
00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:39,954
THUD
81
00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:47,916
Chris, this feels like
speed dating for druggies.
82
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,513
I don't know no-one here, man.
83
00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:54,435
Yeah, man, I know. I'd say I know
maybe about 20% of the people here,
84
00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:56,317
that's why it's so good.
85
00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:58,709
Actually, man, maybe more like 10%.
86
00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:02,315
I see you invited your psychology
teacher to aid this interaction?
87
00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:04,038
Angie's here?
88
00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:06,270
Yeah.
89
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:12,838
I could shift a few ounces
of this stuff.
90
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:15,997
If you've got a decent supplier.
91
00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:36,233
Chris... I'm sorry. Chris?
92
00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:39,158
SONG STOPS
93
00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:49,633
You all right? Do you want to dance?
94
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:53,110
No, I, um...
Are there any other teachers here?
95
00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:56,756
I dunno. Yeah, maybe.
96
00:07:56,840 --> 00:08:01,356
It depends if they knew about it,
and if they wanted to come.
97
00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:02,555
Or if...
98
00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:07,271
No, I only invited you.
99
00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:11,955
This was a bad idea.
I didn't think it through.
100
00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:15,350
- I just wanted you to come.
- Chris...
101
00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:19,638
I think, right, that dancing is,
like, the best thing in the world.
102
00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:22,792
Yeah? Because it makes you healthy,
in your body,
103
00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:26,270
but it also,
it makes your head better too, so...
104
00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:31,038
I just... Will you stay and...
105
00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:33,878
...dance or just...
106
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:36,633
Please.
107
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:40,675
OK.
108
00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:42,193
Yeah?
109
00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:43,554
Yeah.
110
00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:53,358
This was the place where youlet me love you first
111
00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:55,078
We danced to Van Morrison
112
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,720
And shut out the world
113
00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:00,869
I know that it...
114
00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:02,598
Ahh.
115
00:09:02,680 --> 00:09:04,716
I... I can't do this.
116
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:06,472
What? Why?
117
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,956
No, no. No, no, no, no, no, no.
118
00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:13,476
Angie, Angie, look, look,
it's not like that, all right?
119
00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:15,710
I dropped a couple
of them Viagra by mistake
120
00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:17,518
and it's been like that all day.
121
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:19,989
It's been like a second leg,
fucking third leg.
122
00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,196
It's... It's just Viagra!
123
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:27,790
(Man) You see? That's Viagra for you.
124
00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:32,715
- More trouble than it's worth.
- Speak for yourself, Casa-never.
125
00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:37,431
...Now that you're gone
126
00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:38,509
It's just the...
127
00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:42,716
And me.
128
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,149
MUFFLED MUSIC AND SHOUTING
129
00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:49,312
I think she's a fucking nut
leaving a grand on her sideboard.
130
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:54,428
I liked her. She smiled too much
and everything but she was all right.
131
00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:56,556
I swear Chris gives
these bastards speed.
132
00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:59,234
They move faster
than normal fish do.
133
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:06,078
Besides, I don't know what it would
be like having a son like Chris.
134
00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:07,434
Ugh.
135
00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:10,353
He's all right.
He can be well sweet sometimes.
136
00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:11,873
Mmm.
137
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:22,433
Tony?
138
00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:24,272
Yeah, yeah, just a minute.
139
00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:25,839
HE TAPS
140
00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:32,836
You know what I like
about your body?
141
00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:36,596
No.
142
00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:38,989
One boob's bigger than the other.
143
00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:50,708
Oh. Fuck.
144
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,074
Hi, Sid.
145
00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:56,676
Sorry. I was just, uh,
looking for a T-shirt.
146
00:10:56,760 --> 00:11:00,196
It's just Chris
said I could borrow a... Fuck.
147
00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:06,435
Sorry, it's just someone puked on me,
I just need a T-shirt.
148
00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:08,431
I'll choose you one.
149
00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:11,751
I'll wait outside. Sorry.
Fuck, sorry.
150
00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:13,239
Sid.
151
00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:16,433
What do you think of my tits?
152
00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:18,078
Huh?
153
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,991
Um...
154
00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:26,358
- Is one bigger than the other?
- What? I don't...
155
00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:27,793
What would you prefer?
156
00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:32,590
I don't... I think there's
something wrong with my eyes.
157
00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:34,238
Blurring, or...
158
00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:36,550
I could have an infection or something.
159
00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:40,237
You'll look good in this.
160
00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:42,390
Thanks. Sorry.
161
00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:46,029
They're, um, nice, Michelle.
162
00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:50,313
Sorry.
163
00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:54,155
That was brilliant.
164
00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:56,435
Fuck off!
165
00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:01,988
You know what, Tony? Your eyes
are supposed to fucking blur too.
166
00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:19,316
Sid's face, though.
167
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,150
ENGINE WHINES
168
00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:14,710
- You OK, Chris?
- Um. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
169
00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:17,633
- All the others asleep?
- Yeah.
170
00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:20,951
I don't really sleep well
in other people's houses.
171
00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:25,272
- Do you want me to walk you home?
- It's miles. But thanks.
172
00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:26,679
Right.
173
00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:32,676
Yeah. How did that, um, music
competition thing go, by the way?
174
00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:36,070
- Did you win?
- No.
175
00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:39,391
Still, finalist, though -
that's got to be all right, ain't it?
176
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,715
What did the winner get?
177
00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:47,433
Oh, he signed an international
recording contract.
178
00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:52,116
- Cool. What did you get?
- I got �25 to cover my travel.
179
00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:54,673
Wankers.
180
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:07,596
- Chris, where's your mum?
- Dunno, mate.
181
00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:17,317
SNORING
182
00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:20,399
I mean,
183
00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:22,835
what was I supposed to say?
184
00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:25,434
"Yeah, I like your tits.
185
00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:29,035
"They seem very nice, symmetrical."
186
00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:34,111
- What's the right word, even?
- Nice is OK.
187
00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:39,310
Do you think she'll be upset?
188
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,834
Do you think she'll be angry with me?
189
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,195
I just,
190
00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:47,475
you know, just...
191
00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:53,237
- Your stiffy's digging into my back.
- Oh. Sorry.
192
00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:00,235
- Sid.
- Yeah.
193
00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:04,074
You know there are other girls,
don't you?
194
00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:05,593
Where?
195
00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:18,428
So you don't think
she'll be angry with me?
196
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:21,873
Safe.
197
00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:36,630
110, 115, 120.
198
00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:39,871
Um, it's all right, mate,
I've got change.
199
00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:41,678
COINS JANGLE
200
00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:45,394
121, 22.
201
00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:48,278
23, 23.50.
202
00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:51,749
24.
203
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:53,114
Six, eight.
204
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:55,998
Seven, eight, nine, ten. 24.20.
205
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,274
How much do I still owe you, mate?
206
00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:59,749
14 quid.
207
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:03,151
OK, um, my mum keeps money upstairs.
208
00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:05,435
I'll just go get it.
Wait there, one minute.
209
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,115
(Tony) What have you been doing, man?
210
00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:58,997
(Sid) Nothing.
211
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:01,513
(Tony) You stink of sick.
212
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,556
(Sid) Yeah, but not, like, badly.
213
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:07,632
(Tony) If Chris's house
didn't out-stink you, yeah,
214
00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:09,551
people would actually
be walking away from you.
215
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:12,108
Well, I'll just borrow some deodorant.
216
00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:26,032
Hey up.
217
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:30,151
You all right, Chris?
218
00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:31,195
Yeah.
219
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,313
What were you doing in the wardrobe?
220
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:37,995
I was just, um, checking what stuff
my mum took with her.
221
00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:39,752
What did she take?
222
00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:41,796
Oh, yeah. Everything.
223
00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:48,794
Do you think she's gone, mate?
224
00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:54,030
Hey, my knob's gone down, though.
225
00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:56,554
- That's good.
- It isn't blue or anything?
226
00:17:56,640 --> 00:18:01,156
Um, no, it's a bit red, like,
but, no, it's not bad. Not bad.
227
00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:05,992
It looks bigger to me.
Probably did it some good.
228
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:08,878
Yeah. Yeah.
You might be right, actually. Yeah.
229
00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:15,314
Hey, seven years bad luck,
that there, mate, the mirror.
230
00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:23,913
(TV) 'And breathe in deep. Deep.
231
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,116
'And stretch and bend
232
00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,953
'and stretch and reach.
233
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:30,837
'And reach to the right.
234
00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:32,797
'Left, and bend.'
235
00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:34,677
I think she's quite sexy.
236
00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:36,955
I've always wanted
to fuck an older woman.
237
00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:40,678
It's the hips...
238
00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:44,271
...just above the knickers.
239
00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:48,914
It's the way the skin bunches, you know.
240
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:53,077
I mean, look at her,
241
00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:54,991
very nice hips.
242
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:00,675
Where's Chris?
243
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:02,478
Right here.
244
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:05,199
This man won't let us start
the pizzas till you pay him.
245
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:08,078
OK. Anyone got any cash?
246
00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:09,354
You've got a grand!
247
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:14,309
Nah, man. I've got a nice hi-fi,
about 4,000 beer cans,
248
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:18,234
and then a few of these empty wraps.
What?
249
00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:24,076
Listen, yeah, right, OK...
�1,000 ain't even that much money
250
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:27,197
these days, really, you know,
when you think about it. So...
251
00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:34,117
Look, man, all right,
I bought it yesterday, yeah,
252
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:40,799
and I remember you, because you've
got a very good face for memorising.
253
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,758
I bought it from you,
and you were chuffed to sell it.
254
00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:54,511
There's a Pop Tart in the CD drawer.
255
00:19:57,040 --> 00:19:58,678
Clean it. I'll pay for that bit.
256
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:00,910
- So, you know, sell it on.
- We can't sell it on.
257
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,752
- Yeah, so if you clean it?
- We're not going to clean it.
258
00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:07,311
- I will and bring it back tomorrow.
- It's soiled, it's unsellable.
259
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:09,630
Whatever you do to it now,
we can't take it back.
260
00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:13,554
I'll clean it, bring it back tomorrow
and give it to one of the other people.
261
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:16,393
No, you won't. I will have
told them not to take it back,
262
00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:17,913
because you've wrecked it.
263
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:23,999
I kept the receipt.
264
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:26,514
Receipts don't cover Pop Tarts.
265
00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:29,633
I'll tell you how to
get rid of your zits.
266
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:30,948
Oh...
267
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:32,837
How?
268
00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:35,070
Right.
269
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:38,994
Piss on toilet paper and wipe your face.
Works better than Clearasil.
270
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:40,513
Tried it.
271
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:52,994
Thank you for calling at Smithson Electrics.
272
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:54,957
Anything else I can help you with?
273
00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:59,311
Er, no, er, just...
274
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:04,231
Chris...
275
00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:07,710
Chris, wait up, mate, please.
276
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,870
Stop being a fucking pussy.
277
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:11,075
No.
278
00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:13,354
What?
279
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,271
No.
280
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:17,669
You know, it says "we buy anything"
281
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:20,911
just there,
so maybe you could buy this.
282
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:24,151
Get out of my shop!
Get out of my shop!
283
00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:48,675
- All right, Chris?
- Hey up.
284
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:50,239
Che! Che!
285
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:55,517
Loves watching me shit.
286
00:21:58,800 --> 00:21:59,835
What can I do you for?
287
00:21:59,920 --> 00:22:03,754
How did you get on
with that Lithuanian E?
288
00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:07,549
I got some square pills
from Albania in.
289
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:10,279
Retro Eastern Blocs,
they're calling them.
290
00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:12,669
Nah, um, I'm selling, actually.
291
00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:14,830
Fancy a hi-fi?
292
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:16,751
Nah. Can't shift it, mate.
293
00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:20,839
How about a wheelbarrow?
294
00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:25,789
Oh, aye, I always need
another wheelbarrow.
295
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:27,233
�20 the lot.
296
00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:29,515
Done. Cheers.
297
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:32,915
How d'you want it?
Powder, pills or cash?
298
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:34,433
Cash.
299
00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:45,954
10, 15, 20.
300
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:47,473
Job done.
301
00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:53,672
Fuck it, let's have a look at these pills.
302
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:36,153
Shit.
303
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:00,433
Fuck's sake!
304
00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:15,673
See ya later, mate.
305
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:38,668
Fucking hell, man. You woke me up.
306
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:41,194
- Who are you?
- Who the fuck are you? I'm sleeping!
307
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:44,238
- This is my house!
- So?
308
00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:54,357
Get off me, man!
309
00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:56,032
Get off me! Ow!
310
00:24:58,440 --> 00:24:59,793
Yeah!
311
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:08,916
Don't know what
you're fucking doing, thinking you can...
312
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:10,433
Leave it, man!
313
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:28,673
What the fuck?
314
00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:35,834
Hey, buddy, hello?
315
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:48,877
You all right, me babba?
That was some ride.
316
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:04,838
Look, I think you should go.
317
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:12,992
No, not up the fucking stairs,
what you doing, man? Come on.
318
00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:17,278
Let's create harmony.
I was only sleeping in your bath.
319
00:26:17,360 --> 00:26:18,475
I've never met you, all right.
320
00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:22,155
- You've met me now.
- Yes, but it's my house!
321
00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:24,595
All right, so just fuck off!
322
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:26,432
Cheers, then.
323
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:32,839
Right, now let me back in.
324
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:37,072
You're a very hostile bloke.
325
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:39,754
Let! Me! Back! In!
326
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:43,958
You're a very aggressive young man.
I think you've got issues.
327
00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:46,998
- Big issues.
- Ah, fuck!
328
00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:52,598
You need to take a chill pill, mate.
You need to chill out.
329
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:55,319
- Let me back in.
- Listen, take a while. Calm down.
330
00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:58,278
Maybe take a day or two,
and then we'll talk about it.
331
00:26:58,360 --> 00:26:59,315
It's my fucking house!
332
00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:03,279
I don't make the rules, man.
I don't make the rules.
333
00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:56,911
So, um, what are you going to do?
334
00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:00,275
Yeah.
335
00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:07,475
There's only one thing you can't do,
Chris, and that's stay like you are.
336
00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:11,189
You got no money,
basically no house, you can't just...
337
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:15,239
Look, I've fucked up, I know.
I fucked up.
338
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:22,191
No, you haven't.
339
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:37,755
- You just...
- Angie, do you reckon we...
340
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:41,037
Hey, Chris, trousers!
How good are we?
341
00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:42,473
Don't tell him.
342
00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:46,235
(Tony) Everyone's talking about some naked
guy who just walked through school.
343
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:49,710
(Sid) People are trying to work out whether
you've made a political statement.
344
00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:53,552
- This top any good?
- I think you'll like it.
345
00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:58,236
- I didn't think anyone would notice.
- Yeah. Maybe a few did.
346
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:05,558
Pull yourself together. Christ,
you need a mum, you big baby.
347
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:08,234
Tony!
348
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:11,915
Fucking hell, he's not pathetic.
You can take a joke, can't you?
349
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:17,279
Look, you try it, OK?
No Mum, no Dad, on your own.
350
00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:21,956
- Sounds brilliant to me.
- I've got... I've got a Dad.
351
00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:27,833
RINGS BELL
352
00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:34,473
There's no-one in.
353
00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:36,790
You'll be fine, Chris, OK?
354
00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:46,478
Chris?
355
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:48,357
Chris! What a...
356
00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:51,159
What a lovely surprise!
357
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:55,472
- Look, we weren't planning on...
- Hi, I'm Jal.
358
00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:59,235
Jal, I'm Mary.
359
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:01,629
Won't you come in?
360
00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:04,996
Your dad'll be back soon. But
I can give him a ring anyway, shall I?
361
00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:07,036
What, he's not here?
We could come back ano...
362
00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:08,951
Wonderful!
363
00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:10,473
Wonderful.
364
00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:19,592
BABY CRIES
365
00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:21,557
Aaah!
366
00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:23,119
And this is little Sammy.
367
00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:29,071
Do you want to come
and say hello, Chris?
368
00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:31,799
Er, no, I'II, um, leave him to sleep.
369
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:37,315
Well...
370
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:38,355
TO Y SQUEAKS
371
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:39,395
Ooh!
372
00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:56,598
How's your mum, Chris?
373
00:30:56,680 --> 00:31:00,878
- Actually, that's the reason...
- Yeah, she's getting better.
374
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:03,235
Oh, no!
375
00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:05,754
She hasn't had another turn?
376
00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:08,479
Um, no. Not really. She's fine.
377
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:13,952
Good. Well, send her my best.
378
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:23,631
Why don't we look for some baby photos
of Chris? That could be fun.
379
00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:26,154
Graham labels them by year.
380
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:29,312
I'm trying to encourage him
to label by mood, but...
381
00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:31,675
You won't find any of me.
382
00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:35,469
Worried we might find
something embarrassing?
383
00:31:36,560 --> 00:31:37,754
Ooh...
384
00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:44,998
Ah, bingo!
385
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:51,954
Look, he's even sweeter than Sammy.
386
00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:55,191
I don't think I'm supposed to
say that as a mum, but you are!
387
00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:57,669
Have a look at him!
388
00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:01,873
You do look quite cute.
389
00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:04,315
That's not me.
390
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:05,719
It is.
391
00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:07,756
No, it's not. It's Peter.
392
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:13,154
Oh.
393
00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:15,800
Well, we can still say
he looks sweet, can't we?
394
00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:19,916
Who's Peter?
395
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:23,231
- Um, he's my brother.
- Your brother?
396
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:26,989
DOOR OPENS
397
00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:28,513
Graham!
398
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:32,874
You'll never guess who's here!
399
00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:35,793
It's Chris! Isn't that great!
400
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:39,316
(Man) I need a shower.
I'm going for a shower.
401
00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:43,712
(Woman) I've just had to sit with him
for the last half hour!
402
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:45,756
(Man) Well, get rid of him.
403
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:48,195
(Woman) Don't do this to me, Graham,
he's your son.
404
00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:52,353
(Man) Can't help that.
He's a fuck-up, just like his mum.
405
00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:56,194
I don't want him here, OK?
I'm taking a shower.
406
00:32:59,880 --> 00:33:00,869
TO Y SQUEAKS
407
00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:08,870
BABY CRIES
408
00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:12,349
BABY WAILS
409
00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:28,677
Everything's fine,
he's just got a couple of calls to make.
410
00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:33,675
He's calmed down.
You look nice together, Chris.
411
00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:38,879
Just wants to suckle
on something, probably.
412
00:33:40,480 --> 00:33:42,914
Give me your finger.
413
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:45,309
BABY GRIZZLES
414
00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:48,710
BABY QUIETENS
415
00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:51,595
THUMP!
416
00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:53,716
BABY CRIES
417
00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:58,509
Come on, Sammy. Come on.
418
00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:04,555
- Listen. His mum has...
- Does he want money?
419
00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:06,756
No. He doesn't.
420
00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:11,515
Chris!
421
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:10,353
You OK?
422
00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:14,752
HE FLICKS LIGHTER
423
00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:18,549
I could never do them knots at Cubs,
you know, and they said,
424
00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:21,791
"Ah, he's not got the fingers
for it," or whatever.
425
00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:24,599
But look what
my fucking fingers can do now, eh?
426
00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:30,318
Hey, do you... do you wanna hear about
the best day of my life?
427
00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:32,630
Cubs.
428
00:35:32,720 --> 00:35:35,109
I'd pissed myself by accident.
429
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:38,715
They'd had us sitting down
for ages and, um, I was trying...
430
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:42,998
trying to get out like to leave the room but this
kid kept blocking me,
431
00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:46,516
stopping me leaving, he was playing
a game or something and, um...
432
00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:49,273
So I told him, right,
that he was a dickhead,
433
00:35:49,360 --> 00:35:52,432
and that he's gonna get out
of my way, dickhead...
434
00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:57,237
...and then the whole place went quiet
cos I'd said "dickhead".
435
00:35:57,320 --> 00:36:01,438
And then they was all laughing,
everyone, and I couldn't work out
436
00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:04,956
if it was cos I'd swore or if
they'd seen that my shorts were wet,
437
00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:08,271
so I tried to cover my shorts with
my hands, right, but that meant
438
00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:11,989
they all definitely noticed
and then there was more laughing.
439
00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:17,112
But, yeah, Peter,
440
00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:19,270
my brother, he was, um,
441
00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:22,113
he was youngest-ever
sixer or something.
442
00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:25,033
They're the ones in charge, sixers.
443
00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:27,873
Dib-dib-dib.
444
00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:31,797
He could do all the knots, him.
445
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:35,391
Him and Dad would practise.
446
00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:36,913
He loved it.
447
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:41,830
Anyway, he stands up, yeah, sixer,
448
00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:45,151
and, um, and they all liked him,
449
00:36:45,240 --> 00:36:46,832
and, um,
450
00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:48,876
he takes my hand,
451
00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:50,791
and took me to the toilet.
452
00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:54,509
And then he had me take my shorts off,
and then he cleaned me up.
453
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:57,831
And then he took off
his shorts and put them on me.
454
00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:01,752
And then...
455
00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:04,308
he kissed me on the cheek,
456
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:06,038
and took my hand,
457
00:37:06,120 --> 00:37:07,917
and we both went out there.
458
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:09,592
Him just in his pants.
459
00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:14,193
No-one laughed.
460
00:37:17,840 --> 00:37:19,273
Best day of my life.
461
00:37:25,520 --> 00:37:29,638
Look, don't, um,
don't tell the others, yeah, about...
462
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:33,195
No, I won't.
463
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:37,309
Do you know what you're gonna do?
464
00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:38,833
What, me?
465
00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:41,195
No, I...
466
00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:45,432
- You think your mum's gonna come back?
- Not if she's still around.
467
00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:50,919
- How do you know?
- She left flowers by the grave again.
468
00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:14,276
Every time you see a nipple,
469
00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:18,148
a butt crack or a camel toe, you have
to drink one shot down in one, OK?
470
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:21,473
What's a camel toe?
471
00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:24,388
Tony?
472
00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:26,152
It's when it bunches around the...
473
00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:29,874
...crack.
474
00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:30,915
It's a minge thing.
475
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:32,399
< Oh. Nice.
476
00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:34,471
You got slow play
on this thing, Michelle?
477
00:38:34,560 --> 00:38:36,039
What? Slow play?
478
00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:37,678
- There!
- Where?
479
00:38:37,760 --> 00:38:40,513
A nipple, I saw a nipple.
480
00:38:41,720 --> 00:38:42,675
Concealed or free?
481
00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:44,591
If concealed counts
we're gonna be drinking a lot.
482
00:38:44,680 --> 00:38:47,478
It can be concealed and visible.
Just ask Jal.
483
00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:50,028
- What?
- When you're wearing that red top.
484
00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:52,839
Will someone rewind the tape,
so we can all see the nipple
485
00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:54,911
and drink, please?
486
00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:58,636
Where's the controls?
487
00:38:58,720 --> 00:39:03,748
- Sid.
- Oh, sorry, just gotta...
488
00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:07,116
- You better not be going for a wank.
- Where's the fucking controls?
489
00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:12,272
Gimme the remote.
490
00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:25,109
- I think we should go on a date.
- What, us?
491
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:27,509
- We don't have to have...
- OK.
492
00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:30,033
Er... yeah.
493
00:39:46,280 --> 00:39:50,432
- That was a nipple!
- You know what? I don't fucking care.
494
00:40:10,880 --> 00:40:14,839
There was a teacher in here last.
He might not have collected all his things.
495
00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:18,276
If you find anything,
just put them in the corner, OK?
496
00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:19,839
Yeah.
497
00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:26,278
I... They told me
498
00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:29,272
to tell you that
although this isn't a classroom
499
00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:32,158
or anything, this is still college property.
500
00:40:32,240 --> 00:40:34,151
So if you do any damage or...
501
00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:39,277
Well, it will...
502
00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:42,838
They could kick you out of school.
503
00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:44,069
OK.
504
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:49,353
I'm sorry, it's just... They said to say.
505
00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:50,998
No, it's OK, I don't mind.
506
00:40:56,520 --> 00:40:58,192
I...
507
00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:01,709
Your friends said you like fish.
508
00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:04,917
And I wanted to give you
509
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:06,558
a room-warming.
510
00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:10,517
That for me?
511
00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:16,319
They didn't have any bowls
left in the store.
512
00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:19,073
I just wanted to give you something.
513
00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:23,198
Wish you luck.
514
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:28,633
Yeah.
515
00:41:34,560 --> 00:41:35,993
Yeah.
516
00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:43,673
I should go.
517
00:41:48,720 --> 00:41:50,950
OK. Sorry.
518
00:41:51,040 --> 00:41:53,076
Right.
519
00:41:55,240 --> 00:41:56,639
Bye.
520
00:41:56,689 --> 00:42:01,239
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