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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:01,970 Previously on Queer as Folk: 2 00:00:01,971 --> 00:00:03,670 I don't get why everyone left. 3 00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:07,880 It's one of the great mysteries of life... why do queers desert one club for another. 4 00:00:07,881 --> 00:00:10,980 You can't leave the diner, Debbie, you are the diner. 5 00:00:10,981 --> 00:00:13,390 Lipo and brow lift. 6 00:00:13,391 --> 00:00:15,940 So why not just have a little snip and clip and be done with it. 7 00:00:15,941 --> 00:00:18,280 I'd like to apply for the job. 8 00:00:18,281 --> 00:00:22,991 I know I don't have any qualifications... but if you could just give me a chance. 9 00:00:22,992 --> 00:00:26,361 Holy shit, would you look how long that line is? 10 00:00:26,362 --> 00:00:31,241 We can either work out an equitable agreement between Jenny Rebecca's three parents, 11 00:00:31,242 --> 00:00:34,362 or we can go to court and let a judge resolve this. 12 00:00:34,363 --> 00:00:40,437 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 13 00:01:29,444 --> 00:01:33,703 I know, everybody says Tuscany, the di Amalfi coast...- Positano, Ravello... 14 00:01:33,704 --> 00:01:36,223 Oh my God, the most beautiful place I've ever seen. 15 00:01:36,225 --> 00:01:39,604 And not to mention the men. - No, let's mention the men. 16 00:01:39,605 --> 00:01:42,895 I mean, is there any Italian with less than an 8-inch cock? 17 00:01:43,215 --> 00:01:46,165 How long you guys have been togther? - Four years - Four weeks. 18 00:01:46,465 --> 00:01:48,364 You guys got to get your stories straight. - It's complicated. 19 00:01:48,365 --> 00:01:50,614 Obviously... - What about you? 20 00:01:50,616 --> 00:01:52,505 Going on ten years. 21 00:01:52,506 --> 00:01:54,885 Shit! That's amazing, how do you do it? 22 00:01:54,886 --> 00:01:58,005 I'm not sure I want to hear this. - Communication, 23 00:01:58,006 --> 00:02:00,585 Honesty. - Respect. - And a lot of fucking around. 24 00:02:00,586 --> 00:02:03,065 A couple that plays together, stays together. 25 00:02:03,067 --> 00:02:04,507 That's what I've always said. 26 00:02:04,857 --> 00:02:07,036 Nothing will kill a marriage faster than monogamy. 27 00:02:07,037 --> 00:02:08,676 Yeah, tried that for about six months. 28 00:02:08,677 --> 00:02:12,936 Really split us up. He started lying, sleeping around... - You caught me fucking the neighbour. 29 00:02:12,937 --> 00:02:15,916 Instead of kicking him out, I thought "this guy is hot!", so... 30 00:02:15,918 --> 00:02:18,158 I joined them. - Solved all of our problems. 31 00:02:18,518 --> 00:02:22,927 In these sorry times of faggots hurling themselves like lemmings into the sea of matrimony, 32 00:02:22,928 --> 00:02:27,798 it's refreshing to find a couple who're hung, but not hung up. 33 00:02:28,719 --> 00:02:30,349 So how about we hook up again? 34 00:02:31,909 --> 00:02:35,179 We have a strict rule not to see anyone twice. 35 00:02:36,339 --> 00:02:36,979 But... 36 00:02:37,499 --> 00:02:38,979 since there are two of you... 37 00:03:17,952 --> 00:03:22,232 Okay, I'm a lowly writer-professor, for Christ sakes, not an MIT graduate. 38 00:03:22,593 --> 00:03:25,542 You need an advanced degree to put this fucking crib together. 39 00:03:25,543 --> 00:03:28,693 You're gonna have to watch that potty mouth of yours once J.R. arrives. 40 00:03:30,443 --> 00:03:35,542 It's official. According to the State of Pennsylvania I know have one-third custody of my daughter. 41 00:03:35,544 --> 00:03:37,714 Congratulations... 42 00:03:39,584 --> 00:03:42,193 I could have more if Brian hadn't stuck his nose in. 43 00:03:42,194 --> 00:03:44,703 Hey, hey, it's not his fault. 44 00:03:44,705 --> 00:03:47,764 He's the one who convinced Lindsey to fight for custody! 45 00:03:47,765 --> 00:03:51,855 Paid for her goddamn lawyer! - Well, she's J.R.'s mother too, it's only fair. 46 00:03:52,905 --> 00:03:54,405 I suppose. 47 00:03:54,845 --> 00:03:57,935 So now I get to split a baby three ways. 48 00:03:59,976 --> 00:04:03,566 You know, as long as she's loved and cared for, I'm sure it'll all work out. 49 00:04:05,736 --> 00:04:09,516 Would you help me put this thing together, before I lose my fucking... 50 00:04:12,247 --> 00:04:14,117 Yes, before I lose my mind. 51 00:04:15,257 --> 00:04:17,017 Your eggs are up. 52 00:04:17,587 --> 00:04:19,936 Wheat or rye, buttered or dry? 53 00:04:19,937 --> 00:04:22,546 Err, rye dry. - Rye dry. 54 00:04:22,547 --> 00:04:25,106 Sweetheart? - Yes? 55 00:04:25,108 --> 00:04:27,417 Will you sit down? Please? 56 00:04:27,418 --> 00:04:30,248 Stop waiting on me like I was in the diner? 57 00:04:30,658 --> 00:04:32,697 I guess old habits die hard. 58 00:04:32,698 --> 00:04:35,137 You wanted bacon, extra crispy... 59 00:04:35,138 --> 00:04:37,528 If you don't stop... 60 00:04:37,969 --> 00:04:39,458 I'm not leaving you a tip. 61 00:04:39,459 --> 00:04:42,438 Oh, and I was counting on a big one tonight. 62 00:04:42,439 --> 00:04:46,139 Honey... you're getting more than just a tip. 63 00:04:47,439 --> 00:04:49,109 Why, Carl Horbath... 64 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:54,000 The more I'm around you the more I can't keep my hands off you. 65 00:04:55,890 --> 00:04:57,330 You're not bored, are you? 66 00:04:57,730 --> 00:04:59,699 Fucking our brains out? - No. 67 00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:00,720 Not working. 68 00:05:01,250 --> 00:05:02,720 Are you kidding? 69 00:05:04,041 --> 00:05:06,001 I don't know why I waited so long. 70 00:05:07,161 --> 00:05:09,591 I finally have my life all to myself. 71 00:05:10,621 --> 00:05:13,561 So what's on our lady of leisure's agenda for today? 72 00:05:14,261 --> 00:05:16,420 Oh, a matinee, 73 00:05:16,422 --> 00:05:19,591 interplay... perhaps a piece of Mauler. 74 00:05:19,592 --> 00:05:20,982 A piece of what? 75 00:05:22,112 --> 00:05:26,732 Thank God hanging around Libery Avenue made you a sex maniac and not a showtune queen. 76 00:05:29,243 --> 00:05:30,913 I'm going to go buy some pajamas. 77 00:05:31,733 --> 00:05:34,503 All of mine seem to be disappearing. - That's because I took them. 78 00:05:35,873 --> 00:05:37,813 I should've known! 79 00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:41,253 It was too good to be true, a cross dresser! 80 00:05:41,884 --> 00:05:46,893 You're sexier without them. - You know what this is, don't you. It is grand theft pajamas. 81 00:05:46,894 --> 00:05:49,894 I could have you arrested. But... 82 00:05:50,664 --> 00:05:52,794 I'd prefer to have you work it off. 83 00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:02,294 Good morning Brian, got these files we talked about, the Gerber accounts... 84 00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:06,284 Greenwald accounts, and payroll. 85 00:06:06,286 --> 00:06:10,306 I was up till one in the morning, got to get everything all signed and sealed. 86 00:06:11,036 --> 00:06:14,045 Now there's really nothing left to do for the next few days. 87 00:06:14,046 --> 00:06:16,576 I'm kind of free as a bird. 88 00:06:20,107 --> 00:06:23,547 Listen, I need to take a little time off. 89 00:06:24,307 --> 00:06:25,547 Vacation? 90 00:06:26,197 --> 00:06:27,716 Sabbatical? 91 00:06:27,717 --> 00:06:31,267 Drug binge? - A small medical procedure. 92 00:06:31,618 --> 00:06:34,108 Finally getting that penile enlargement? 93 00:06:35,608 --> 00:06:36,917 When are you leaving? 94 00:06:36,918 --> 00:06:38,047 Tomorrow. 95 00:06:38,048 --> 00:06:42,037 I know, it's short notice but they had a cancellation they said they can fit me in. But... 96 00:06:42,038 --> 00:06:45,118 I'll be back in a week. Ten days, tops. 97 00:06:45,459 --> 00:06:47,119 So what are you having done? 98 00:06:48,799 --> 00:06:51,128 What makes you think I'm having anything done? 99 00:06:51,129 --> 00:06:54,918 Um, the endless hours you spend pulling your face back? 100 00:06:54,919 --> 00:06:56,919 Smoothing your stomache? 101 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:00,130 Spill. 102 00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:02,130 Uh, you know. 103 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:04,130 Nothing major... 104 00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:09,770 Brow lift, blepharoplasty on my upper and lower eyelids, precision contour and liposuction on my gut. 105 00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:12,231 What price beauty. 106 00:07:12,851 --> 00:07:14,191 It ain't cheap. 107 00:07:14,491 --> 00:07:17,191 However, they are sucking my chin out for free. 108 00:07:20,631 --> 00:07:23,600 They way gay men are obsessed with youth and beauty! 109 00:07:23,602 --> 00:07:28,072 An entire subculture convinced that the meaning of happiness is no love handles. 110 00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:29,402 How pathetic. 111 00:07:30,392 --> 00:07:32,052 How tragic. 112 00:07:32,352 --> 00:07:34,631 How profitable. - Go ahead, 113 00:07:34,632 --> 00:07:36,741 mock my endeavors at self improvement. 114 00:07:36,743 --> 00:07:40,162 You know, not all of us are as lucky as you. We all can't be Brian Kinney. 115 00:07:40,163 --> 00:07:43,022 The rest of us poor schlobs, we have to work twice as hard to look half as good. 116 00:07:43,023 --> 00:07:46,602 I'm sorry Theodore, I don't mean to impune your noble efforts, 117 00:07:46,603 --> 00:07:48,603 I just think you're making a big mistake... 118 00:07:50,194 --> 00:07:52,214 ...not getting that penile enlargement. 119 00:07:56,064 --> 00:07:58,563 She's so adorable! 120 00:07:58,564 --> 00:07:59,733 Can I take her home? 121 00:07:59,734 --> 00:08:03,234 Sure, why not, everybody else is. 122 00:08:05,995 --> 00:08:07,345 I didn't know you had a guest. 123 00:08:07,875 --> 00:08:09,584 Justin's not a guest. 124 00:08:09,585 --> 00:08:12,454 Didn't we agree you're going to ring the bell, not just pop in? 125 00:08:12,455 --> 00:08:14,455 Hey Lindsey... 126 00:08:16,216 --> 00:08:17,346 Hello Justin. 127 00:08:17,846 --> 00:08:20,405 I haven't seen you since you've been back from L.A. - I know... 128 00:08:20,406 --> 00:08:22,956 I was planning on calling but I don't have your new number. 129 00:08:23,916 --> 00:08:25,716 I'm sure Brian could've given it to you. 130 00:08:28,057 --> 00:08:29,507 So how's Gus? 131 00:08:30,287 --> 00:08:33,207 Gus is doing great. He's growing as we speak. 132 00:08:33,757 --> 00:08:35,207 He's even starting to read. 133 00:08:36,777 --> 00:08:41,207 You go away for a few months and everything changes! - No shit. 134 00:08:43,118 --> 00:08:45,207 I have fallen hopelessly in love with your daughter. 135 00:08:45,208 --> 00:08:47,247 Well, she's pretty irresistable. - Yeah. 136 00:08:47,248 --> 00:08:49,927 I found this fleece sleepwear for the baby. 137 00:08:49,928 --> 00:08:52,047 It's starting to get chilly. - Tell me about it. 138 00:08:52,048 --> 00:08:54,957 I got three: one for you, one for me and one for when she's with Michael. 139 00:08:54,959 --> 00:08:56,538 You have to remind me? 140 00:08:56,539 --> 00:08:58,538 We all have to make sure she's taken care of. 141 00:08:58,539 --> 00:09:00,058 Oh, you've seen to that! 142 00:09:00,059 --> 00:09:02,818 Thanks to you I have to hand my daughter over to some stranger. 143 00:09:02,819 --> 00:09:05,148 Michael is hardly a stranger. - Why, he might as well be. 144 00:09:05,149 --> 00:09:07,338 What does he know about taking care of an infant? 145 00:09:07,340 --> 00:09:10,309 She should be with me instead of being tossed around like a fucking football. 146 00:09:10,310 --> 00:09:12,729 Maybe I'd better go. - No, we're going to have tea, goddamnit! 147 00:09:12,730 --> 00:09:15,279 I'll get it. - You don't live here anymore, remember? 148 00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:16,899 Of course, how could I forget. 149 00:09:16,900 --> 00:09:18,469 Well if you would've listened to me and done what I said, 150 00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:21,650 we wouldn't be playing this game of "baby baby, who's got the baby". 151 00:09:23,651 --> 00:09:25,481 That's what's killing you, isn't it. 152 00:09:26,041 --> 00:09:28,941 It has nothing to do with the baby or the custody agreement. 153 00:09:29,421 --> 00:09:34,570 It has to do with you, Melanie Marcus, not getting her way, not having complete control over everything. 154 00:09:34,572 --> 00:09:36,992 Well, tough shit, you don't. 155 00:09:39,442 --> 00:09:41,202 So get used to it. 156 00:09:42,172 --> 00:09:44,322 Um, I'll get the tea. 157 00:09:50,583 --> 00:09:54,353 Swim! Swim, come on, pull! 158 00:09:55,733 --> 00:09:56,993 Finish it off! 159 00:10:01,164 --> 00:10:04,263 How did I do? Two tenths of a second off your personal best. - Fucking A. 160 00:10:04,264 --> 00:10:07,313 It's because I'm nailing those flip turns. - Bet you ten bucks it's your place. 161 00:10:07,314 --> 00:10:08,473 Think so? - Know so. 162 00:10:08,474 --> 00:10:11,364 Alright everybody, let's gather up, let's go! 163 00:10:12,125 --> 00:10:13,364 Good practice! 164 00:10:13,365 --> 00:10:14,654 Very good! 165 00:10:14,655 --> 00:10:18,064 You swim this hard in two days and we'll hold our heads high at the meet. 166 00:10:18,065 --> 00:10:22,424 Now go get a good meal, get some sleep, and don't strain anything. 167 00:10:22,425 --> 00:10:24,074 Are you winners? - Yeah! 168 00:10:24,076 --> 00:10:27,315 I asked you, are you winners? - Yeah! - That's more like it. 169 00:10:27,316 --> 00:10:29,636 And put away the toys before you scrub down. 170 00:10:30,686 --> 00:10:33,405 Hey, I gotta say, first I had my doubts but Hunter's coming through gangbusters. 171 00:10:33,406 --> 00:10:36,816 I always knew he can do it, he just needed some incentive and some support. 172 00:10:37,077 --> 00:10:40,247 And friends. - And having a parent that's willing to take the time to work with him. 173 00:10:40,887 --> 00:10:42,566 Thanks. Appreciate it, coach. 174 00:10:42,567 --> 00:10:44,807 I'll see you at the meet. 175 00:10:51,338 --> 00:10:52,248 Good swim. 176 00:10:52,708 --> 00:10:54,448 Yeah, thanks, you too. 177 00:10:57,358 --> 00:10:59,508 Yo Hunter, you coming? - Yeah. 178 00:11:01,469 --> 00:11:03,749 Hey Hunter, we're going! - Wait up! 179 00:11:06,229 --> 00:11:09,268 Look, I know you think my getting a little work done is a frivolous expense, 180 00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:11,588 a foolish excersize in vanity. However, 181 00:11:11,589 --> 00:11:15,528 I just had the most fabulous idea for my next segment. 182 00:11:15,530 --> 00:11:19,309 Queer guy follows you through your entire surgery. 183 00:11:19,310 --> 00:11:21,309 Every little snip and clip. 184 00:11:21,310 --> 00:11:25,589 Then, I bring you on my show, 185 00:11:25,590 --> 00:11:28,210 for the big reveal. 186 00:11:31,361 --> 00:11:32,430 Or, 187 00:11:32,431 --> 00:11:37,140 I go with my avocado night-repair mask, as planned. 188 00:11:37,141 --> 00:11:38,851 Stick with the guacamole. 189 00:11:39,821 --> 00:11:42,640 But promise me, no matter how I come out, 190 00:11:42,642 --> 00:11:44,821 you'll still love me. - Honey, 191 00:11:44,822 --> 00:11:47,001 I never loved you for your looks to begin with. 192 00:11:47,002 --> 00:11:49,511 Not that there's a damn thing wrong with them. 193 00:11:49,512 --> 00:11:52,441 But if this is what you want to do, then I'm behind you. 194 00:11:52,442 --> 00:11:54,492 I've never mentioned I'm getting that done too. 195 00:11:55,543 --> 00:11:58,932 Make room, boys! - Ah, little Debbie, 196 00:11:58,933 --> 00:12:01,202 come home. - Yeah, just like a boomerang. 197 00:12:01,203 --> 00:12:02,582 Or Lassie. 198 00:12:02,583 --> 00:12:04,692 It's just like Norma Desmond making her comeback. 199 00:12:04,693 --> 00:12:06,673 I believe it was "return". 200 00:12:06,844 --> 00:12:09,663 I was just passing by, so I thought I'd poke my head in and see how things are going. 201 00:12:09,664 --> 00:12:11,664 Oh, things are going great! 202 00:12:12,994 --> 00:12:13,864 Yeah? 203 00:12:15,004 --> 00:12:15,664 I mean, 204 00:12:16,484 --> 00:12:18,703 it sure isn't the same without you... 205 00:12:18,705 --> 00:12:21,234 aah, what about you? - Well, 206 00:12:21,235 --> 00:12:22,774 since I've stopped working, 207 00:12:22,775 --> 00:12:26,774 Carl and I are getting plenty of exercise, if you get my drift. 208 00:12:26,775 --> 00:12:29,444 Yeah, it drifts all the way to my room. 209 00:12:29,445 --> 00:12:31,585 So I bought myself a new warmup suit. 210 00:12:34,826 --> 00:12:37,825 Yeah, that'll warm him up alright. - Dear... 211 00:12:37,826 --> 00:12:42,456 God, it's like a glory hole for straights. 212 00:12:42,716 --> 00:12:46,766 Okay, here you go boys... hey, Deb! When did you get here? 213 00:12:47,387 --> 00:12:48,486 I... ah... 214 00:12:48,487 --> 00:12:51,486 a couple of minutes ago, hi Loretta, I just stopped by to see... 215 00:12:51,487 --> 00:12:55,766 Hold that thought for one second. Spinach salad, dressing on the side for the queer guy, 216 00:12:55,767 --> 00:12:58,866 Chilli cheese, fries and a vanilla shake for the teddy bear. 217 00:12:58,868 --> 00:12:59,757 thanks a lot. 218 00:12:59,758 --> 00:13:01,467 Are you sure you should be eating that? 219 00:13:01,468 --> 00:13:04,128 Hey, what goes in today, gets sucked out tomorrow. 220 00:13:04,538 --> 00:13:06,588 Oh, I'm sorry Deb, what were you saying? 221 00:13:07,008 --> 00:13:09,557 Yeah, I was just asking, you know, how things are going. 222 00:13:09,558 --> 00:13:11,827 Hey Loretta, do you got any equal? 223 00:13:11,829 --> 00:13:14,129 Yeah. Wonder woman. 224 00:13:15,099 --> 00:13:16,408 I'm doing fucking great. 225 00:13:16,409 --> 00:13:17,688 She's doing fucking great. 226 00:13:17,689 --> 00:13:20,559 In fact, if I didn't know any better, I'd swear it was you. 227 00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:22,408 Yeah, me too. 228 00:13:22,409 --> 00:13:26,298 So what can I get you? Pink plate special today is codfish balls. 229 00:13:26,300 --> 00:13:28,780 What did they do with the rest of the codfish. 230 00:13:32,670 --> 00:13:34,729 Um, I'll have a bowl of pea soup, 231 00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:37,260 and please don't tell me that Pete pissed in it. 232 00:13:38,031 --> 00:13:39,920 Hey Lo, where's my tuna wrap? 233 00:13:39,921 --> 00:13:42,480 Any guy eating tuna here, is in the wrong joint. 234 00:13:42,481 --> 00:13:44,201 I'll bring you chicken noodle. 235 00:13:47,291 --> 00:13:48,931 She's a hoot, isn't she? 236 00:13:49,642 --> 00:13:50,532 Yeah... 237 00:13:51,702 --> 00:13:53,182 A hoot and a half. 238 00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,661 So, how was rehearsal? 239 00:13:57,662 --> 00:14:00,071 Oh, it's called practice. - Right. 240 00:14:00,072 --> 00:14:01,851 I kept my kick down. - And his head up. 241 00:14:01,853 --> 00:14:04,412 And I beat my best time by two tenths of a second. 242 00:14:04,413 --> 00:14:08,432 That's awesome dude, right on! I can't wait to come to the performance, I'll be there front row center. 243 00:14:08,433 --> 00:14:11,442 It's a meet, and they're called bleachers. - Yeah. 244 00:14:11,443 --> 00:14:16,162 Hey, up until now all I knew about swimming was from watching Esther Willams films with Ma. 245 00:14:16,164 --> 00:14:19,243 Ever seen the one where she rises up out of the water with the sparklers coming out her head? 246 00:14:19,244 --> 00:14:20,333 Hey boys. 247 00:14:20,334 --> 00:14:23,014 Hey, Brian. Come on pal, let's go carb up. 248 00:14:27,715 --> 00:14:29,905 You mind if I put this up? 249 00:14:31,945 --> 00:14:33,404 Hard heroes night? 250 00:14:33,405 --> 00:14:36,194 Every superhero fantasy you ever had... 251 00:14:36,195 --> 00:14:37,595 coming true. 252 00:14:39,275 --> 00:14:42,554 Well in that case, I'm not sure it's appropriate for my younger clientele. 253 00:14:42,556 --> 00:14:45,885 Well, if your younger clientele is drooling over those bulging biceps 254 00:14:45,886 --> 00:14:48,355 and bountiful baskets the way you did, 255 00:14:48,356 --> 00:14:50,536 they are going to grow up to be fags anyway. So... 256 00:14:50,956 --> 00:14:52,186 what's the difference. 257 00:14:52,776 --> 00:14:54,066 Yeah, okay. 258 00:14:58,907 --> 00:15:00,387 I expect you to be there. 259 00:15:00,987 --> 00:15:02,066 Don't think so. 260 00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:05,707 Well, with work and fixing up the house, these days we get to bed pretty early. 261 00:15:06,198 --> 00:15:08,358 Superheroes, Mikey! 262 00:15:10,678 --> 00:15:13,748 Superman on Superman action. 263 00:15:17,508 --> 00:15:18,688 I'll make you a deal. 264 00:15:19,729 --> 00:15:22,849 I'll come check out your new place if you come check out ours. 265 00:15:24,369 --> 00:15:27,029 Just like when we showed each other our dicks. 266 00:15:28,009 --> 00:15:28,709 Deal. 267 00:15:29,279 --> 00:15:31,938 Ben and I are having our new neighbours over for dinner tomorrow, 268 00:15:31,940 --> 00:15:33,940 why don't you and Justin join us. 269 00:15:35,820 --> 00:15:36,790 Fabulous. 270 00:15:38,370 --> 00:15:39,609 I'll bring a bottle. 271 00:15:39,610 --> 00:15:40,869 Red would be nice. 272 00:15:40,870 --> 00:15:42,240 I meant poppers. 273 00:15:49,081 --> 00:15:50,141 Interesting. 274 00:15:51,291 --> 00:15:52,791 Not bad. 275 00:15:54,771 --> 00:15:56,641 This one is intriguing. 276 00:15:56,941 --> 00:16:00,661 I've always responded to the raw, unfinished quality of your work. 277 00:16:02,232 --> 00:16:05,161 Is that a compliment, or are you letting me down easy? 278 00:16:05,162 --> 00:16:08,322 Well, if you're asking me if I'd consider you for the emerging artists show, 279 00:16:08,822 --> 00:16:10,962 the answer is yes. 280 00:16:11,883 --> 00:16:13,473 Thanks Linds. 281 00:16:14,573 --> 00:16:16,702 But I don't want to take advantage of our friendship. 282 00:16:16,703 --> 00:16:20,243 I don't consider it taken advantage of, provided the work is good. 283 00:16:22,193 --> 00:16:23,982 And that we're still friends. 284 00:16:23,984 --> 00:16:25,294 Why wouldn't we be? 285 00:16:25,834 --> 00:16:28,433 Often, at times where couples break up, 286 00:16:28,434 --> 00:16:31,443 friends gravitate towards one person or the other. 287 00:16:31,444 --> 00:16:35,614 So I wouldn't be surprised or hurt if you decided to gravitate towards Mel. 288 00:16:37,285 --> 00:16:38,135 Well... 289 00:16:41,255 --> 00:16:42,855 Actually, I would. 290 00:16:44,215 --> 00:16:45,775 I could never do that. 291 00:16:46,085 --> 00:16:48,275 You have always been... 292 00:16:48,726 --> 00:16:50,235 Mel and Linds. 293 00:16:50,236 --> 00:16:54,145 From the very beginning, when I first met Brian, you two were there for me. 294 00:16:54,146 --> 00:16:57,046 A shoulder to cry on, a couch to sleep on... 295 00:16:57,676 --> 00:16:59,286 I could never take sides. 296 00:17:00,626 --> 00:17:01,956 I love you both. 297 00:17:03,737 --> 00:17:06,667 Well, there's one thing Mel and I still agree on. 298 00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:10,577 That we feel the same way about you. 299 00:17:13,397 --> 00:17:16,907 I'm just sorry you had to witness our performance. - Oh please. 300 00:17:17,348 --> 00:17:20,488 Brian and I have had a couple of academy award winners ourselves. 301 00:17:21,578 --> 00:17:22,488 So... 302 00:17:23,818 --> 00:17:27,088 is there any chance you and Mel might... - Get back together? 303 00:17:27,989 --> 00:17:30,329 I was hoping at first we could. 304 00:17:31,159 --> 00:17:33,819 That we'd make up and all would be forgiven. 305 00:17:35,649 --> 00:17:37,109 But now... 306 00:17:40,010 --> 00:17:41,690 I guess you would call that, 307 00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:43,820 magical thinking. 308 00:17:45,260 --> 00:17:46,640 Well, you never know. 309 00:17:50,980 --> 00:17:52,049 Well, 310 00:17:52,050 --> 00:17:54,890 I think we should definitely consider this one. 311 00:17:55,901 --> 00:17:57,411 The exhuberance... 312 00:17:58,151 --> 00:17:59,411 The optimism. 313 00:18:03,201 --> 00:18:06,870 You're getting a 8.5, a 10, and a 13-inch skillet, 314 00:18:06,872 --> 00:18:09,012 once you're getting away that press... 315 00:18:09,722 --> 00:18:13,811 I'm off to make sure the Schnagles are still alive for their 60th anniversary party. 316 00:18:13,812 --> 00:18:17,652 And the studio, for queer guy. Don't forget to watch. 317 00:18:18,072 --> 00:18:20,001 I'm warming up the set. 318 00:18:20,003 --> 00:18:21,372 Look at you! 319 00:18:21,373 --> 00:18:24,722 Lounging in the caftan in the middle of the afternoon. 320 00:18:24,723 --> 00:18:27,642 Instead of walking off your tired feet at the diner. 321 00:18:27,643 --> 00:18:29,593 It's the dream of a lifetime. 322 00:18:31,263 --> 00:18:32,693 Yeah, I'm here. 323 00:18:32,994 --> 00:18:34,354 I want the griddle. 324 00:18:34,774 --> 00:18:37,863 And that last item, the olive... the olive pitter. 325 00:18:37,864 --> 00:18:40,903 And I want the citrus slicer, and the nut chopper, 326 00:18:40,904 --> 00:18:43,934 and throw in the dutch oven and the cheese grater. 327 00:18:46,595 --> 00:18:50,214 Wow, that holds a queue less than 15 seconds. 328 00:18:50,215 --> 00:18:51,925 Must be a new record. 329 00:18:53,425 --> 00:18:54,625 So what's wrong? 330 00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:57,225 Why should anything be wrong? 331 00:18:58,076 --> 00:18:59,546 Like you said, look at me. 332 00:18:59,976 --> 00:19:01,756 I'm the happiest woman in the world. 333 00:19:02,056 --> 00:19:04,215 I've got endless hours at my disposal, 334 00:19:04,216 --> 00:19:06,695 I can eat all the fucking ice cream I want, 335 00:19:06,696 --> 00:19:09,445 I can order to my heart's content on QVC. 336 00:19:09,446 --> 00:19:11,446 I almost ordered a llama. 337 00:19:12,457 --> 00:19:14,327 So why should anything be wrong? 338 00:19:15,587 --> 00:19:16,897 Except that... 339 00:19:17,437 --> 00:19:19,387 bitch stole my act! 340 00:19:20,927 --> 00:19:22,336 Which bitch? 341 00:19:22,337 --> 00:19:25,797 Which bitch do you think?! That... Pye person. 342 00:19:27,158 --> 00:19:29,017 She was so innocent at first. 343 00:19:29,018 --> 00:19:32,928 I don't know how to do anything, I don't have any experience. 344 00:19:33,708 --> 00:19:34,987 Man... 345 00:19:34,988 --> 00:19:37,958 She hustled me. She hustled me good. 346 00:19:38,459 --> 00:19:40,398 And I fell for it! 347 00:19:40,399 --> 00:19:44,649 Now she's wearing my t-shirts, and my vest with my buttons! 348 00:19:49,580 --> 00:19:52,620 I should have her arrested for... identity theft. 349 00:19:53,260 --> 00:19:54,620 You know, 350 00:19:55,050 --> 00:19:58,829 I think you're just having withdrawl symptoms. 351 00:19:58,830 --> 00:19:59,840 That's all. 352 00:20:00,370 --> 00:20:03,790 Remember, you wanted to leave. It was your decision. 353 00:20:04,171 --> 00:20:06,831 And as for Loretta, she's just... 354 00:20:07,121 --> 00:20:09,070 carrying on your legacy. 355 00:20:09,071 --> 00:20:11,340 Keeping the tradition alive. 356 00:20:11,341 --> 00:20:13,770 For me, I consider it the highest form of flattery. 357 00:20:13,771 --> 00:20:17,601 Or the lowest form of imitation! - Don't be angry. 358 00:20:17,882 --> 00:20:19,601 Be proud! 359 00:20:19,602 --> 00:20:21,301 Pass on the mantle. 360 00:20:21,302 --> 00:20:25,252 With dignity. Always dignity. 361 00:20:27,703 --> 00:20:30,183 And don't order a llama. I'm a virgin. 362 00:20:41,094 --> 00:20:42,614 Dignity. 363 00:20:43,514 --> 00:20:45,754 Always dignity. 364 00:20:53,465 --> 00:20:54,884 It's amazing. 365 00:20:54,885 --> 00:20:58,204 That I've been soaping your crack for the past ten minutes? 366 00:20:58,205 --> 00:21:00,205 And you haven't asked me to fuck you. 367 00:21:01,995 --> 00:21:05,635 That you and I would be together, and Melanie and Lindsey would be apart. 368 00:21:06,316 --> 00:21:10,316 Well who knows what wonders does fate have in store. 369 00:21:10,596 --> 00:21:14,035 I mean, if they can't make it, who can. 370 00:21:14,036 --> 00:21:16,106 Ding, ding, ding, ding! 371 00:21:16,436 --> 00:21:18,195 And the correct answer is, 372 00:21:18,196 --> 00:21:20,565 noone! - Stop being cynical. 373 00:21:20,567 --> 00:21:23,027 I'm not... being cynical. 374 00:21:23,437 --> 00:21:25,027 I'm being... - Realistic? 375 00:21:25,887 --> 00:21:28,707 Do you mind if I finish my own sentences? 376 00:21:29,587 --> 00:21:31,726 I despise when couples do that. 377 00:21:31,728 --> 00:21:34,157 Did you hear that, rubber ducky? He said "couples". 378 00:21:34,158 --> 00:21:36,018 I should quit while I'm ahead. 379 00:21:37,318 --> 00:21:39,928 Not before you give me some! 380 00:21:40,348 --> 00:21:42,698 Mon amour. - Mon amour... 381 00:21:43,148 --> 00:21:48,228 I love how other people's tragic marital play makes you romantic. 382 00:21:48,959 --> 00:21:50,229 Hard. 383 00:21:50,439 --> 00:21:51,499 Christ. 384 00:21:52,179 --> 00:21:54,409 What a big boner! 385 00:21:55,269 --> 00:21:57,818 All the better... - To fuck you with. 386 00:21:57,820 --> 00:22:00,850 What did I just warn you... - About finishing each other's sentences. 387 00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:07,959 Marriage is a doomsday machine. 388 00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:10,909 Destined to self-destruct. 389 00:22:10,911 --> 00:22:14,211 Fortunately, however, for you and I, 390 00:22:14,531 --> 00:22:18,101 will be spared such a dismal fate. 391 00:22:22,992 --> 00:22:25,512 Life is just a bowl of fairies? 392 00:22:26,532 --> 00:22:28,251 It's one of my favorites. 393 00:22:28,252 --> 00:22:29,702 I want you to have it. 394 00:22:30,162 --> 00:22:31,831 Well thanks. 395 00:22:31,832 --> 00:22:34,391 I thought you might be a little pissed about my new look. 396 00:22:34,392 --> 00:22:37,682 I love your new look. I loved it on me! 397 00:22:40,643 --> 00:22:44,113 And I'm proud of you for doing such a great job at the diner. 398 00:22:44,623 --> 00:22:45,403 Well... 399 00:22:45,823 --> 00:22:48,243 It's easy when you have such a great teacher. 400 00:22:50,134 --> 00:22:51,554 You going somewhere? 401 00:22:52,614 --> 00:22:53,764 Ah.. 402 00:22:54,854 --> 00:22:57,433 Yeah, you might say that... I'm... 403 00:22:57,434 --> 00:23:00,114 I'm leaving. - For the weekend? 404 00:23:01,535 --> 00:23:02,985 No, for good. 405 00:23:04,795 --> 00:23:09,084 My goddamn sister told my goddamn husband Darryl where I am. 406 00:23:09,085 --> 00:23:10,794 Now he's coming to get me. 407 00:23:10,795 --> 00:23:12,144 So where are you going? 408 00:23:12,145 --> 00:23:16,284 I haven't had time to figure it out yet, but I know I can't be here when he shows up. 409 00:23:16,286 --> 00:23:20,265 Now just hold on, you also can't just run away! - I can and I am. 410 00:23:20,266 --> 00:23:23,766 When the asshole shows up, just tell him to go fuck off! 411 00:23:25,836 --> 00:23:28,245 You do not tell Darryl Pye to fuck off. 412 00:23:28,247 --> 00:23:30,046 No sir, no way. 413 00:23:30,047 --> 00:23:32,446 And that's a fact. - Well here's another one. 414 00:23:32,447 --> 00:23:35,547 Where ever you go, he's going to find you the next time, too. 415 00:23:37,597 --> 00:23:39,017 So what do I do? 416 00:23:41,898 --> 00:23:43,498 I'll give you another t-shirt. 417 00:23:43,968 --> 00:23:45,988 You can wear it when he arrives. 418 00:23:46,618 --> 00:23:48,197 And what does that one say? 419 00:23:48,198 --> 00:23:50,198 It doesn't say anything. 420 00:23:50,468 --> 00:23:52,198 It's got this on it. 421 00:23:55,189 --> 00:23:57,369 Darryl will get the message. 422 00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:10,719 If you want tulips this spring, you have to plant the bulbs now. 423 00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:14,880 Same with hyacinths. - Ilay is the gardner in the family, I'm the chef. 424 00:24:15,470 --> 00:24:19,450 Well, rose bushes on each side of the front walk would look fabulous. 425 00:24:20,401 --> 00:24:24,940 I remember when I was a kid, planting pansies in the front yard with my mom. 426 00:24:24,941 --> 00:24:26,890 And look what bloomed! 427 00:24:26,891 --> 00:24:29,780 Which one of you is the gardner, and which one is the chef? 428 00:24:29,781 --> 00:24:31,400 I really like cooking. 429 00:24:31,402 --> 00:24:35,402 I and love planting my seed in some hole. 430 00:24:39,262 --> 00:24:40,462 In the ground. 431 00:24:43,122 --> 00:24:46,551 By the way, I brought you that petition. - Oh yeah, great, we'll be happy to sign. 432 00:24:46,553 --> 00:24:48,912 Trying to get the city to put in speed bumps. 433 00:24:48,913 --> 00:24:52,292 The way that some people come racing down the street, you'd think it was a drag strip. 434 00:24:52,293 --> 00:24:54,712 I doubt Brian's very interested in speed bumps. 435 00:24:54,713 --> 00:24:58,782 On the contrary. Speed bumps are extremely important. 436 00:24:58,784 --> 00:25:01,474 Especially before you go out dancing. 437 00:25:02,064 --> 00:25:06,423 What exactly do you do, Brian? - He's president and CEO of Kinnetic. 438 00:25:06,424 --> 00:25:08,643 The top advertising agency in Pittsburgh. 439 00:25:08,644 --> 00:25:12,653 I'm also president and CEO of Babylon, the top gay dance club in Pittsburgh. 440 00:25:12,655 --> 00:25:16,654 Babylon? We haven't been there in years. 441 00:25:16,655 --> 00:25:18,655 You two should come by... 442 00:25:18,985 --> 00:25:23,395 as my personal guests. - I hardly think Babylon suits our lifestyle. 443 00:25:25,666 --> 00:25:29,815 Can I get anybody anything? - Which lifestyle is that, Monty? 444 00:25:29,816 --> 00:25:31,516 I'm Monty. 445 00:25:32,236 --> 00:25:34,795 Which lifestyle is that, Monty? 446 00:25:34,796 --> 00:25:40,226 Well, these days we prefer to spend quite time at home with our kids. 447 00:25:40,577 --> 00:25:43,897 Rather than in a room full of drugged up Peter Pans. 448 00:25:44,867 --> 00:25:48,467 You know, so many couples I speak to these days feel that way. 449 00:25:48,828 --> 00:25:51,208 That's why I'm starting Monogamous Mondays. 450 00:25:53,048 --> 00:25:54,687 Brian's a real kidder. 451 00:25:54,688 --> 00:25:59,687 I hardly think the kind of promiscuous behavior that Babylon promotes is a laughing matter. 452 00:25:59,688 --> 00:26:03,167 Oh come on, fellows. Don't tell me that after... 453 00:26:03,169 --> 00:26:07,809 how many did you say, ten years together, you haven't had little extra-marital ass? - Brian! 454 00:26:08,909 --> 00:26:10,948 Actually, we never have. 455 00:26:10,949 --> 00:26:13,738 It's called being in a mature, loving relationship. 456 00:26:13,739 --> 00:26:17,829 That's called being dead. - How about you help me with dessert? 457 00:26:19,410 --> 00:26:21,020 First... 458 00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:23,020 presents. 459 00:26:23,450 --> 00:26:24,360 Now, 460 00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:28,880 I hope you boys don't already have one. 461 00:26:35,631 --> 00:26:37,470 You bought us a sling? 462 00:26:37,471 --> 00:26:39,991 You told me you were furnishing a playroom. 463 00:26:40,522 --> 00:26:42,591 Not that kind of playroom. 464 00:26:42,592 --> 00:26:44,022 Oh... 465 00:26:44,932 --> 00:26:48,452 still, I'm sure you'll get hours of enjoyment from it. 466 00:26:53,803 --> 00:26:56,283 So, what's for dessert? 467 00:27:05,704 --> 00:27:07,913 In our home! In front of our friends! 468 00:27:07,914 --> 00:27:10,673 You got to let it go, Michael. - I know, later than now. 469 00:27:10,674 --> 00:27:13,444 Right now I'd like to hold Brian's head underwater. 470 00:27:14,614 --> 00:27:17,804 Way to go, Callie! - Way to go honey! 471 00:27:20,335 --> 00:27:22,385 You can do it! 472 00:27:31,556 --> 00:27:35,556 Callie's parents are making fools of themselves. - Just ignore them, we're here for Hunter. 473 00:27:36,806 --> 00:27:41,216 Next up, boys 50 meter freestyle. - Oh my God, that's us. - Yep, yep. 474 00:27:48,387 --> 00:27:51,227 On your marks, get set... 475 00:28:00,498 --> 00:28:01,978 Go Hunter! 476 00:28:02,218 --> 00:28:04,138 Come on pal, come on! 477 00:28:06,588 --> 00:28:09,208 Go, go, go! 478 00:28:19,739 --> 00:28:21,729 Come on, Hunter, kick! 479 00:28:24,690 --> 00:28:26,190 Go, go, go! 480 00:28:26,940 --> 00:28:30,380 Yeah, yeah! - We won! - Yeah! 481 00:28:30,650 --> 00:28:33,300 Hunter won, go Hunter! 482 00:28:45,081 --> 00:28:47,181 Hunter, are you okay? 483 00:28:48,722 --> 00:28:51,061 Christ, I think he hurt himself! - Shit. 484 00:28:51,062 --> 00:28:52,911 Oh my God, you're bleeding... 485 00:28:52,912 --> 00:28:54,922 Coach, Hunter's hurt! 486 00:28:55,102 --> 00:28:56,991 Callie, don't! - Don't touch him! 487 00:28:56,992 --> 00:28:59,091 Get out of the pool, honey! - Oh my God... 488 00:28:59,092 --> 00:29:03,172 He's got AIDS! Get out of there! - Everybody out! Now! 489 00:29:05,093 --> 00:29:06,993 Everybody out! 490 00:29:10,923 --> 00:29:13,043 Come on pal, let's go get that looked at. 491 00:29:26,664 --> 00:29:28,654 That's a nice nose. 492 00:29:29,345 --> 00:29:32,345 Now that's what I call a chin. 493 00:29:32,895 --> 00:29:36,984 Ah! Teddy, if you don't get these cheeks, I will. 494 00:29:36,985 --> 00:29:39,644 What do you think? - I think I am going to puke. 495 00:29:39,645 --> 00:29:41,704 I warned you, didn't I? 496 00:29:41,706 --> 00:29:46,045 Didn't I warn you not to gorge yourself? - It's not that! Look at me. 497 00:29:46,046 --> 00:29:48,815 I look like a cow chart in the butcher shop. 498 00:29:48,816 --> 00:29:51,785 Just think, when they reveal the new you, 499 00:29:51,786 --> 00:29:56,256 you know, like the one with the hair lip and hump on the street makeover, you'll be weeping with joy. 500 00:30:06,098 --> 00:30:08,258 Never had any surgery before. 501 00:30:08,928 --> 00:30:11,358 Still have everything intact, you know. 502 00:30:11,828 --> 00:30:13,867 My appendix, my tonsils. 503 00:30:13,868 --> 00:30:16,218 Foreskin. - My wisdom teeth. 504 00:30:16,898 --> 00:30:18,927 This will be my first time under the knife. 505 00:30:18,929 --> 00:30:22,078 Pish... it's nothing. - You can sit there and "pish" all you want. 506 00:30:22,079 --> 00:30:25,959 I'm the one that's about to suffer severe pain for the sake of a new me. 507 00:30:27,199 --> 00:30:29,169 What if I don't like the new me? 508 00:30:30,029 --> 00:30:34,008 What's not to like? How about 30-inch waist, 509 00:30:34,010 --> 00:30:37,069 crow's feet that have flown the coup... 510 00:30:37,070 --> 00:30:38,729 cheek bones to die for. 511 00:30:38,730 --> 00:30:42,260 I'm not getting cheek bones. Should I have gotten cheek bones? Oh God. 512 00:30:43,220 --> 00:30:48,109 Maybe Brian is right. Maybe this obsession with youth and beauty is shallow, superficial, narcissistic... 513 00:30:48,111 --> 00:30:50,840 We are fags, for chrissake. 514 00:30:50,841 --> 00:30:54,051 Being obsessed with youth and beauty is our God-given right. 515 00:30:54,781 --> 00:30:56,051 Should I pull out? 516 00:30:56,371 --> 00:30:58,741 You're seriously asking me that question? 517 00:30:59,682 --> 00:31:05,501 Teddy, for as long as I have known you, you have never felt good, really good, about yourself. 518 00:31:05,502 --> 00:31:09,471 So if a few incisions and little back sucking is what it takes for you 519 00:31:09,472 --> 00:31:12,211 to finally be able to look in the mirror and smile, 520 00:31:12,213 --> 00:31:15,433 then I say it's not shallow and superficial. 521 00:31:15,923 --> 00:31:17,173 It's a blessing. 522 00:31:19,513 --> 00:31:20,603 Thank you, Em. 523 00:31:22,814 --> 00:31:24,094 Mr. Schmidt? 524 00:31:26,644 --> 00:31:28,023 Well, go on! 525 00:31:28,024 --> 00:31:31,744 Dr. DeMill is ready for your close-up. 526 00:31:40,125 --> 00:31:44,934 Yeah, okay... diapers, powder, popo-bear, 527 00:31:44,935 --> 00:31:46,305 lotion. 528 00:31:47,045 --> 00:31:49,165 Lotion. Where's the lotion? 529 00:31:51,746 --> 00:31:55,365 It's enough for a nudist colony. - Yeah, there's a baby, be prepared. 530 00:31:55,366 --> 00:31:57,896 Spoken like a true scout. 531 00:31:58,576 --> 00:31:59,896 It was a joke. 532 00:32:01,357 --> 00:32:03,677 All I have to do is express my milk. 533 00:32:04,297 --> 00:32:06,057 When's Michael picking her up? 534 00:32:06,617 --> 00:32:07,847 Tomorrow. 535 00:32:10,747 --> 00:32:11,616 Mel... 536 00:32:11,617 --> 00:32:14,897 He's better know what the fuck he's doing. - We'll find out. 537 00:32:16,678 --> 00:32:18,067 You know, I was thinking, 538 00:32:18,068 --> 00:32:20,067 why doesn't Gus stay with you tomorrow night? 539 00:32:20,068 --> 00:32:21,378 Hot date? 540 00:32:21,718 --> 00:32:24,637 No, I just thought it'd be nice for you to have some company. 541 00:32:24,638 --> 00:32:26,398 So I won't be lonely? 542 00:32:26,738 --> 00:32:30,467 Thanks, but as much as I would love to have him here, I don't need your pity. 543 00:32:30,469 --> 00:32:33,778 It's not pity. - No, it's you being gracious. 544 00:32:33,779 --> 00:32:36,688 Making a grand gesture. - I was only trying to think of you. 545 00:32:36,689 --> 00:32:39,409 Maybe you should have done that in the first place. 546 00:32:41,300 --> 00:32:43,950 Gus, honey! It's time to leave. 547 00:32:45,750 --> 00:32:49,220 I hope it goes well tomorrow. Despite what you think. 548 00:33:03,391 --> 00:33:05,520 Two hours for a fucking band aid. 549 00:33:05,522 --> 00:33:08,821 Good thing I wasn't decapitated, I'd be sitting in that goddamn emergency room 550 00:33:08,822 --> 00:33:10,822 holding my head all night. 551 00:33:11,072 --> 00:33:14,301 We're home now. - Go upstairs and relax, you'll feel better. 552 00:33:14,302 --> 00:33:17,221 Relax? - You have a concussion. 553 00:33:17,222 --> 00:33:20,151 The doctor told you... - I'm fine! There's nothing wrong with me, 554 00:33:20,153 --> 00:33:24,552 except thanks to Callie's asshole father and cunt mother... - Hey! 555 00:33:24,553 --> 00:33:26,122 Well she is! 556 00:33:26,123 --> 00:33:30,102 Now everyone at school thinks I have AIDS. - You don't have AIDS, you have HIV. 557 00:33:30,103 --> 00:33:33,173 Don't tell me, tell them. Except you don't have to. 558 00:33:34,144 --> 00:33:36,044 Because I'm never going back. 559 00:33:38,654 --> 00:33:40,463 You have nothing to be ashamed of. 560 00:33:40,464 --> 00:33:43,433 Yeah, right! - There's not. Your coach said he's going to talk to everyone and explain 561 00:33:43,434 --> 00:33:47,574 that you can't get the virus from a few drops of blood in a chlorinated pool. 562 00:33:48,225 --> 00:33:52,204 If you want to take the day off tomorrow, that's fine by us. But... 563 00:33:52,205 --> 00:33:54,064 sooner or later you're going to have to go back. 564 00:33:54,065 --> 00:33:57,755 Yeah, and when you do, you can tell them you are the 50-meter freestyle champion. 565 00:34:05,246 --> 00:34:08,995 They're supposed to be flying magnificantly through the air. 566 00:34:08,996 --> 00:34:13,865 Superheroes, not two crash test dummies in a Hyundai factory. 567 00:34:13,867 --> 00:34:17,626 Try it again! - It looks pretty good. - Pretty good is not good enough! 568 00:34:17,627 --> 00:34:20,266 When Michael sees it, I want him to lose his mind. 569 00:34:20,267 --> 00:34:23,816 And his breath, and his bladder control. 570 00:34:23,818 --> 00:34:24,928 And then what? 571 00:34:25,508 --> 00:34:29,108 Come running back to Babylon where he belongs? 572 00:34:29,958 --> 00:34:32,837 It ain't going to happen, he's happy where he is. 573 00:34:32,838 --> 00:34:38,018 Gay men cannot live on tulip beds and speed bumps alone. 574 00:34:38,329 --> 00:34:43,398 Sooner or later the Serengeti will call, and he'll pace restlessly in his cage, 575 00:34:43,399 --> 00:34:45,508 howling at the moon... 576 00:34:45,509 --> 00:34:50,739 and he'll break free from suburbia and return to the jungle, where he blongs. 577 00:34:52,610 --> 00:34:57,220 Okay! Spaz-man and klutz-boy, get it right! 578 00:34:59,470 --> 00:35:02,230 I need another mac and cheese and a turkey meatloaf. 579 00:35:03,281 --> 00:35:06,561 Excuse me maam, aren't you going to take my order? 580 00:35:10,581 --> 00:35:12,650 Hey, I didn't order this! 581 00:35:12,651 --> 00:35:14,591 Try. You'll like it. 582 00:35:17,332 --> 00:35:22,351 Now honey, before you say anything, I just want to say how truely and deeply sorry I am... 583 00:35:22,352 --> 00:35:24,242 for our little spat. 584 00:35:25,972 --> 00:35:27,372 How's your jaw? 585 00:35:28,043 --> 00:35:31,763 Well, I could chew the salisbury steak in this place, so I guess it's okay. 586 00:35:32,853 --> 00:35:34,702 Look, I know I lost my temper. 587 00:35:34,703 --> 00:35:36,703 I promise I won't do that again. 588 00:35:37,273 --> 00:35:39,082 That's what you always say. 589 00:35:39,083 --> 00:35:42,273 Come on... it's time for you to come home. 590 00:35:43,844 --> 00:35:46,984 Darryl, I... - You don't have to apologize. 591 00:35:47,494 --> 00:35:48,574 I forgive you. 592 00:35:50,904 --> 00:35:52,703 You forgive me? 593 00:35:52,705 --> 00:35:54,815 Forget all about what happened. 594 00:35:55,465 --> 00:35:56,815 Let's get your coat. 595 00:35:58,135 --> 00:36:00,005 I don't want to forget it. 596 00:36:02,215 --> 00:36:04,045 I'm not going back home. 597 00:36:04,385 --> 00:36:06,045 I'm staying here. 598 00:36:08,276 --> 00:36:11,646 What, slinging hash? In some fag diner? 599 00:36:13,956 --> 00:36:17,346 Is that way you're going to take care of yourself? To be independent? 600 00:36:17,856 --> 00:36:21,056 Now that would be funny, if it weren't so damn pitiful! 601 00:36:22,407 --> 00:36:23,847 I'm not pitiful. 602 00:36:26,417 --> 00:36:28,337 What do you think you're proving here, Loretta? 603 00:36:28,907 --> 00:36:30,527 That you're going to live without a man? 604 00:36:31,117 --> 00:36:32,697 That you're a lezzie? 605 00:36:34,138 --> 00:36:35,938 I am, Darryl. 606 00:36:37,608 --> 00:36:40,278 I am a lesbian and I'm not ashamed. 607 00:36:40,628 --> 00:36:42,818 Well, you ought to be. 608 00:36:45,379 --> 00:36:48,638 Your problem is just you haven't been getting enough recently. 609 00:36:48,639 --> 00:36:51,759 I'm going to take care of that. - No, you're not. 610 00:36:52,979 --> 00:36:55,208 Now what did you say to me? - I told you. 611 00:36:55,209 --> 00:36:58,799 I'm telling you, my truck is parked outside, now let's go! 612 00:37:03,020 --> 00:37:04,060 What tha... 613 00:37:04,750 --> 00:37:08,419 Exactly what part of "fuck off" don't you understand? 614 00:37:08,420 --> 00:37:09,690 Who the hell are you? 615 00:37:10,161 --> 00:37:12,341 I'm the one with the baseball bat. 616 00:37:13,861 --> 00:37:15,760 It's between me and my wife. 617 00:37:15,761 --> 00:37:17,761 And she's trying to tell you something. 618 00:37:18,111 --> 00:37:21,841 Only you're not getting it through your head, so maybe my friend here can help. 619 00:37:22,041 --> 00:37:24,301 Let's go, come on. - No! 620 00:37:25,052 --> 00:37:26,642 I said no! 621 00:37:27,992 --> 00:37:30,762 You are not a nice person, Darryl. 622 00:37:32,182 --> 00:37:35,272 You don't treat me with the respect I deserve. 623 00:37:35,883 --> 00:37:38,453 And I don't love you anymore. 624 00:37:43,763 --> 00:37:45,643 I hope you heard it this time. 625 00:37:50,514 --> 00:37:55,444 Now you'd better leave before me and my fag friends beat the living shit out of you. 626 00:38:35,167 --> 00:38:36,847 How's your head? 627 00:38:37,307 --> 00:38:38,537 I'll live. 628 00:38:41,218 --> 00:38:44,388 Look, I'm sorry for what happened. 629 00:38:44,808 --> 00:38:46,677 What are you sorry for? 630 00:38:46,678 --> 00:38:50,168 I'm the one who was stupid enough to believe no one would ever find out. 631 00:38:52,128 --> 00:38:53,727 Hey Callie! 632 00:38:53,729 --> 00:38:55,798 What are you wasting your time for? He's a fag! 633 00:38:55,799 --> 00:38:59,358 I hear the way he got AIDS is when old geezers fuck him up the ass. 634 00:38:59,359 --> 00:39:00,859 For cash. 635 00:39:01,499 --> 00:39:02,549 You told! 636 00:39:02,889 --> 00:39:05,738 No, I swear I didn't! - Hey, faggot! 637 00:39:05,740 --> 00:39:07,979 Here's 5 bucks, why don't you suck my cock? 638 00:39:07,980 --> 00:39:10,719 I charge way more than that for assholes like you. 639 00:39:10,720 --> 00:39:15,050 Lucas, stop it! - You want to get AIDS? Then go on, hit me, get my blood all over you! 640 00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:17,520 Come on, come on. 641 00:39:18,341 --> 00:39:19,521 Faggot! 642 00:39:23,081 --> 00:39:24,431 Are you okay? 643 00:39:54,323 --> 00:39:57,963 I'm sorry, but I can't promise you Schmidt. 644 00:39:58,304 --> 00:40:01,314 He's the hottest guy in town, even I want to fuck him. 645 00:40:01,944 --> 00:40:03,024 Ted... 646 00:40:04,954 --> 00:40:05,944 Teddy? 647 00:40:06,364 --> 00:40:10,143 I'm sowwy Bwian, you can't haf me. 648 00:40:10,145 --> 00:40:11,635 Teddy... 649 00:40:12,515 --> 00:40:13,745 Ted? 650 00:40:14,705 --> 00:40:17,185 Teddy... 651 00:40:18,375 --> 00:40:20,475 It's me. Em. 652 00:40:20,835 --> 00:40:23,614 Aah. I must've been dreaming. 653 00:40:23,616 --> 00:40:25,116 I'll say! 654 00:40:25,666 --> 00:40:29,185 How do you feel? - Like I was hit by a bus and left for dead, 655 00:40:29,186 --> 00:40:31,886 and then stepped on by an elephant. 656 00:40:32,666 --> 00:40:34,326 How do I look? 657 00:40:34,796 --> 00:40:36,596 A tad... puffy. 658 00:40:37,277 --> 00:40:41,956 But the doctor said, give it a few days and you'll be gorgeous. 659 00:40:41,957 --> 00:40:44,087 Ah-ah. Right. 660 00:40:44,727 --> 00:40:47,366 Thank you for seeing me through this, Em. 661 00:40:47,367 --> 00:40:51,567 Please. When I pull my Joan Rivers, you'll be right there with me. 662 00:40:51,998 --> 00:40:55,767 Now you lie there and rest, okay? 663 00:40:55,768 --> 00:40:59,238 And remember! No peeking. 664 00:41:12,149 --> 00:41:14,109 No peeking. 665 00:41:17,220 --> 00:41:19,539 Fuck no peeking. 666 00:41:19,540 --> 00:41:23,670 The way I feel, I'm allowed to peek. 667 00:41:56,593 --> 00:41:59,063 Ah! Did you see his face? 668 00:41:59,483 --> 00:42:01,463 Pissed as hell. 669 00:42:01,843 --> 00:42:05,482 Which is exactly what I'm going to be if I have another one of these. 670 00:42:05,484 --> 00:42:07,484 Me too. 671 00:42:09,484 --> 00:42:11,674 Another shooter! 672 00:42:15,314 --> 00:42:17,114 I'm so proud of you! 673 00:42:17,664 --> 00:42:21,393 Tell that former asshole of yours to fuck off. 674 00:42:21,395 --> 00:42:24,654 Well, I never could've done it without you and your big bat. 675 00:42:24,655 --> 00:42:26,485 Bigger than his, I'll bet. 676 00:42:26,685 --> 00:42:28,545 You better believe it. 677 00:42:29,555 --> 00:42:31,975 You don't have to be afraid of him anymore. 678 00:42:35,896 --> 00:42:38,426 I don't know how I could ever repay you, Deb. 679 00:42:40,736 --> 00:42:42,876 First you give me a new life, and... 680 00:42:43,646 --> 00:42:45,306 and then you save it. 681 00:42:46,147 --> 00:42:50,137 Honey, you don't owe me a damn thing. 682 00:42:51,127 --> 00:42:54,007 But there is something that you owe yourself. 683 00:42:54,577 --> 00:42:56,027 Happiness. 684 00:42:57,428 --> 00:43:01,118 You've been through a lot of shit, and you deserve it. 685 00:43:01,688 --> 00:43:03,658 Someone to share it with. 686 00:43:03,988 --> 00:43:05,998 Someone who'll treat you. 687 00:43:14,109 --> 00:43:17,099 I think I'd better go home before the sun comes up. 688 00:43:17,399 --> 00:43:20,648 Me too, I have the early shift at the diner. 689 00:43:20,649 --> 00:43:24,889 Well, when you open up the place, think of me in bed. 690 00:43:25,300 --> 00:43:26,770 I will. 691 00:43:37,021 --> 00:43:38,391 Love you. 692 00:43:40,571 --> 00:43:41,651 You too. 693 00:43:44,211 --> 00:43:46,691 Bye. - Bye. 694 00:43:50,292 --> 00:43:53,881 Here's the breast milk, sterilized bottles, diapers, 695 00:43:53,882 --> 00:43:56,281 bottle warmer, her blanket. 696 00:43:56,282 --> 00:43:59,871 We have blankets. - She slept with this one every night since was born. 697 00:43:59,872 --> 00:44:02,372 It's an antique Lindsey bought for her. 698 00:44:04,733 --> 00:44:06,313 We'll see she sleeps with it. 699 00:44:08,663 --> 00:44:10,363 Oh, and... 700 00:44:10,673 --> 00:44:14,602 Here are the feeding instructions. It's pretty much every three hours, or... 701 00:44:14,604 --> 00:44:17,324 when she's hungry. She'll let you know. 702 00:44:19,014 --> 00:44:21,774 Oh, and make sure the milk is warm but not too hot. 703 00:44:36,375 --> 00:44:39,705 So if anything happens, or if there are any questions... 704 00:44:40,226 --> 00:44:41,706 Yeah, we'll call. 705 00:44:49,986 --> 00:44:51,866 Goodbye, precious. 706 00:44:58,687 --> 00:44:59,507 Bye... 707 00:46:22,664 --> 00:46:24,594 He might still come. 708 00:46:25,644 --> 00:46:26,594 Fuck him. 709 00:46:28,844 --> 00:46:31,414 More caped crusaders for us. 710 00:46:31,999 --> 00:46:38,076 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/47xp5 Help other users to choose the best subtitles 711 00:46:38,126 --> 00:46:42,676 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 56009

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