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And our next contestant...
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michael novotny!
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And here comes ted schmidt!
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A new entry...
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justin taylor!
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Always a favourite, brian kinney!
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A real crowd-Pleaser...
8
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emmett honeycutt!
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And let's hear it for ben bruckner!
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And the winner is...
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brian kinney!
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No!
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What is it?
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Oh, i had that dream.
15
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Again.
16
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The mr. Spermdonor pageant?
17
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Who won this time?
18
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Guess.
19
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Maybe it's some kind of sign.
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Fuck.
21
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I already told you, i want someone else.
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But we agreed it's important our kids should have the same parent.
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We didn't agree it should be the same asshole. Fine.
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We'll pull a name out of a hat.
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Let's get some sleep,
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Before the alarm goes off.
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Look, i know how much he means to you.
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He always has,
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And he always will.
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But he doesn't mean the same to me.
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To eat, or not to eat?
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Try one.
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You know i'm trying to watch my weight.
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One's not going to kill you.
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All right.
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Water...
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water.
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Water!
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Ooo, god.
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Mmm...
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Jesus. You said it wasn't going to kill me.
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What the hell's in those things?
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Chili powder, tabasco, peppers...
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soupcon of sulphuric acid for that extra little kick.
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Meet our newest account, hot p'taters.
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I defy you to make these sexy.
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That's actually...
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"hotter than your date last saturday night."
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Yeah, genius.
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I don't care what he's doing,
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I have to see him.
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I'm sorry, brian. Ah, she insisted.
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Brian, i need to talk to you.
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The school just called.
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Peter broke his arm at soccer practice.
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Gardner... my sister, claire.
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It sounds like you're having a family crisis.
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I'm going to let you sort it out.
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Pleasure.
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I have to get to the emergency room right away.
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Well, then what are you doing here? Can you help me?
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Can you look after john?
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In case you haven't noticed, i'm working.
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Well, i don't know what else to do with him.
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Stick him in a locker at the bus station.
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You ever heard of a sitter? You expect me
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To find someone on a moment's notice,
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In the middle of the day?
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Leave him with mom.
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Mom's... indisposed.
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Is she passed out drunk on the floor again?
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Brian, please,
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I don't have time for this.
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How long will you be? I don't know,
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But i'll call as soon as i hear.
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Okay, you behave yourself, do you hear me?
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You still a fag?
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Here.
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Have one.
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Have two.
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Look at that bone structure,
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Those adorable seashell ears.
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And he's incredibly talented.
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He's only 19.
85
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Well, isn't that a plus? Fresh, young sperm?
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To me, he's still a baby.
87
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It just doesn't seem right having a baby with a baby.
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Okay.
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Ben's brainy and brawny.
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I'd say he's just about perfect except for one thing.
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Right.
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There's always ted.
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Ah, good old reliable teddy.
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Emmett?
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Uh, you try it.
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Teddy!
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What is this place?
98
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It's called a diner.
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Hey, bri, get yourself a new boyfriend?
100
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Yeah, he's even younger than the last one!
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Ah ha ha.
102
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God, i hope nobody sees me.
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Sit down and shut up.
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Who's the cutie?
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It's the spawn of satan and my sister.
106
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Thought i recognized a family resemblance.
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Both sides.
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Is she a drag queen?
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So, what can i get ya, honey?
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I'm not eating anything in here.
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Bring him a burger with extra ground glass.
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Hey.
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Hey. I want to go to the arcade in the mall.
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I go there every day after school.
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Does your mama know?
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She thinks i'm at choir practice.
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Bet you'd like that.
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What're you doing with your nephew?
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I'm brat-Sitting.
120
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Hi, john. I'm michael.
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I'm brian's friend. You remember me?
122
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No.
123
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Why don't you bring him by the store?
124
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I have got a comic book store if you want to come by.
125
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It's just down the street.
126
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You got the new "avengers"?
127
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I got everything.
128
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Why don't you drop by and check it out?
129
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I give free samples.
130
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Can we, uncle bri?
131
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All of a sudden we're related.
132
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Wasn't that sweet of michael?
133
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Yeah, he's a real mensch.
134
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And wouldn't give us any trouble.
135
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Do you want to hand me that light bulb, babe?
136
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Can i have this spider-Man too?
137
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Mm-Hmm.
138
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Don't be so fucking greedy.
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He's already given you a shitload.
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It's yours.
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What do you say?
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Thanks, mike.
143
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You two want a kid?
144
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Actually, i have given that serious thought...
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because the studies show that two men are every bit as capable
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Of raising a child... psst.
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I mean this one.
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Come on.
149
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Aw. I don't wanna go.
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We all have to go sometime.
151
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Stop pulling me, asshole.
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Goddamn fag.
153
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You were great with him, you know that?
154
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Kids love me. Don't ask me why.
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I don't have to.
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God, you're hard!
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Yeah, you too.
158
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Do you have the new "superman"?
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You're looking at him.
160
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It's, uh, right over there.
161
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Those workouts have really been paying off.
162
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So, i'll see you at dinner?
163
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Uh, i thought would, uh, hit the gym tonight...
164
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and put in some extra time
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On my chest and stomach.
166
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But i thought we made plans.
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So we'll change them.
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It's not a problem, is it?
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No.
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Not a problem.
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You're a wonder.
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I am?
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I've known you... how long? Five, six years?
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I had no idea you could cook.
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Mmm, that's because i never had anyone to cook for.
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Hmm. Now that i do,
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You won't believe the delights i plan to whip up.
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Well, i can hardly wait... for dessert.
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Hmm. Mmm.
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Just a minute. I just... i want to clean up.
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Everything's already clean.
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The kitchen's practically spotless.
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Well, you know me,
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Can't relax until everything's in order.
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God, when i cook,
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The kitchen looks like a hurricane hit.
187
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Sorry. Nope.
188
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Well, this'll just take a second.
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This is so nice.
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Mmm.
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I wish you didn't have to go.
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Who's going anywhere?
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I mean...
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it's so...
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inconvenient,
196
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You always having to run back and forth to your place.
197
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Well, sometimes one... does need a fresh pair of undies.
198
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Yeah, but wouldn't it be more practical
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If the undies came to you, rather than you going to the undies?
200
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Teddy, are... are you saying...
201
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why not move in?
202
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You... you mean... live together.
203
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Shack up.
204
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"Shack up".
205
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I've always wanted to hear those words.
206
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But don't you think it's too soon?
207
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Yeah.
208
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Probably right. I mean, we've only known each other
209
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How long? Five, six years?
210
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We should wait at least another five more.
211
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You know what i mean.
212
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Loving someone and living together are two different things.
213
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What if we drive each other crazy?
214
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Well... won't know unless we try.
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You know what i mean.
216
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Well, as...
217
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long as i won't be in the way.
218
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How could you ever be in the way?
219
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Put that there.
220
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Won't leave a spot.
221
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Just shut up.
222
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Okay, gus, gimme your happy face.
223
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Now let me see your... sad face?
224
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Ooo, sad face. Ooo.
225
00:09:59,741 --> 00:10:01,174
You know, you're really good with kids.
226
00:10:02,441 --> 00:10:04,941
Yeah, gus adores you.
227
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That's 'cause i'm a push-Over.
228
00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:09,708
That's because you've got a good heart.
229
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That's what my mom always tells me.
230
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She says, "michael, you have a good heart.
231
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And you know what happens to a good heart?
232
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It gets the s-H-I-T kicked out of it."
233
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She's just kidding.
234
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I think she secretly wishes that i was more like brian.
235
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No heart?
236
00:10:24,775 --> 00:10:27,042
Yeah, one of the most important qualities a person can have
237
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Is a kind and loving nature.
238
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I agree.
239
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It's definitely something we intend to instil in gus.
240
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And something we want our...
241
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second child to have as well.
242
00:10:39,175 --> 00:10:40,542
You're having another kid?
243
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Mm-Hmm.
244
00:10:41,709 --> 00:10:43,374
Hey, gus, make another happy face!
245
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You're going to have a baby brother...
246
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or a baby sister.
247
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And this time...
248
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i'm going to carry it.
249
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No shit?
250
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Sorry.
251
00:10:55,242 --> 00:10:56,308
Um, that's great.
252
00:10:56,308 --> 00:10:58,442
Which is why we asked you to stop by.
253
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Why, you want me to babysit?
254
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It's a little early, isn't it?
255
00:11:06,710 --> 00:11:08,143
We'd like you to be the father.
256
00:11:13,709 --> 00:11:14,642
Me?
257
00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:17,109
Yeah.
258
00:11:21,643 --> 00:11:22,843
I think it's great.
259
00:11:24,943 --> 00:11:25,943
You do?
260
00:11:25,943 --> 00:11:28,210
What, fathering a child?
261
00:11:28,210 --> 00:11:31,043
Helping melanie and lindsay create a family?
262
00:11:31,043 --> 00:11:33,343
But it's a big responsibility, i mean, bringing a...
263
00:11:33,343 --> 00:11:35,442
A human being into the world now. I...
264
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i don't know if i'm ready to be "the old man", you know?
265
00:11:39,176 --> 00:11:40,710
Uh... you are...
266
00:11:43,376 --> 00:11:44,543
more ready than you think.
267
00:11:46,578 --> 00:11:47,511
You want a shower?
268
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Still, it is exciting, though, isn't it?
269
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I just better not fuck it up.
270
00:11:56,210 --> 00:11:57,377
How could you fuck it up?
271
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All you have to do, michael, is...
272
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supply the sperm.
273
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I wish we could have one.
274
00:12:14,244 --> 00:12:16,678
Yeah. That'd be a first.
275
00:12:20,778 --> 00:12:22,144
You could carry it.
276
00:12:22,144 --> 00:12:23,977
And lose my figure?
277
00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:25,411
Fine, i'll carry it.
278
00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:28,644
I think you have been writing too many
279
00:12:28,644 --> 00:12:30,578
Fantastical adventures, young man.
280
00:12:35,177 --> 00:12:37,111
Still, it's a nice thought, though, isn't it?
281
00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:06,814
Put it back.
282
00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:11,214
I said, put it back in the fucking wallet. Now.
283
00:14:11,214 --> 00:14:13,947
What for? You've got more money than you know what to do with.
284
00:14:13,947 --> 00:14:15,680
Who told you that, your mommy?
285
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:17,447
She said you were a selfish son of a bitch
286
00:14:17,447 --> 00:14:19,280
Who never gave anyone in this family a red cent.
287
00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:21,080
Yeah, i wonder why.
288
00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:22,013
Now hand it over.
289
00:14:24,180 --> 00:14:25,948
You fucking goddamn faggot!
290
00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:27,948
You and your faggot friends are going to hell!
291
00:14:27,948 --> 00:14:28,948
Yeah, really?
292
00:14:28,948 --> 00:14:30,447
Who told you that? Granny?
293
00:14:32,581 --> 00:14:34,113
You touched my dick!
294
00:14:34,113 --> 00:14:35,113
Ah!
295
00:14:35,113 --> 00:14:36,047
You little shit!
296
00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:43,980
Ow... ow! Ah!
297
00:14:43,980 --> 00:14:46,381
Let me go, butt-Fucker!
298
00:14:47,615 --> 00:14:49,582
Asshole, let me go!
299
00:14:52,348 --> 00:14:54,614
Ah!
300
00:15:03,748 --> 00:15:05,915
That will teach you to fuck with faggots.
301
00:15:09,315 --> 00:15:11,482
You're gonna be sorry!
302
00:15:11,482 --> 00:15:13,081
You're gonna be so sorry!
303
00:15:35,982 --> 00:15:38,182
Where'd you find the hunky moving men?
304
00:15:38,182 --> 00:15:41,115
Under "hunky moving men" in the gay yellow pages.
305
00:15:41,115 --> 00:15:42,816
Actually, they're pink.
306
00:15:42,816 --> 00:15:45,782
They're liberty avenue's top movers.
307
00:15:45,782 --> 00:15:48,316
That one's a bottom. Trust me.
308
00:15:48,316 --> 00:15:50,249
It's a walking wet dream.
309
00:15:50,249 --> 00:15:51,950
Well, don't get too turned on.
310
00:15:51,950 --> 00:15:53,449
You got to save your cum
311
00:15:53,449 --> 00:15:55,549
To squirt up melanie's twat.
312
00:15:55,549 --> 00:15:57,283
Our little mikey...
313
00:15:57,283 --> 00:15:59,950
siring an offspring.
314
00:15:59,950 --> 00:16:01,816
Does this mean you two will be related?
315
00:16:01,816 --> 00:16:03,182
Yeah, lesbians once removed.
316
00:16:04,883 --> 00:16:06,183
Well, i think it's exciting,
317
00:16:06,183 --> 00:16:07,517
Bringing a kid into the world.
318
00:16:07,517 --> 00:16:09,350
I know one i'd like to help leave.
319
00:16:09,350 --> 00:16:11,350
Your nephew's just going through a phase.
320
00:16:11,350 --> 00:16:12,649
The sociopathic years?
321
00:16:14,583 --> 00:16:16,584
I caught him trying to rip me off.
322
00:16:19,917 --> 00:16:21,183
Oh-H-H.
323
00:16:21,183 --> 00:16:23,650
Who says moving's such a chore?
324
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,884
You two lovebirds should hold on to your boxes.
325
00:16:25,884 --> 00:16:27,116
I give it 24 hours.
326
00:16:39,217 --> 00:16:40,217
Oh, oops.
327
00:16:43,317 --> 00:16:44,684
Stuffed tomato.
328
00:16:44,684 --> 00:16:46,051
I'm gonna be a grandma!
329
00:16:47,318 --> 00:16:49,551
Pot pie. I'm gonna be a grandma.
330
00:16:51,251 --> 00:16:53,517
Grilled cheese. I'm gonna be a grandma.
331
00:16:53,517 --> 00:16:55,183
Would someone please make her stop?
332
00:16:55,183 --> 00:16:57,084
Let her gloat a little. I'm gonna be a grandma.
333
00:16:57,084 --> 00:17:00,084
She never in her wildest dreams thought she'd be a grandma.
334
00:17:00,084 --> 00:17:02,785
And here he is. Big daddy!
335
00:17:02,785 --> 00:17:04,551
You're being a little premature, aren't you?
336
00:17:04,551 --> 00:17:06,184
I mean, can't you wait for at least, say...
337
00:17:06,184 --> 00:17:07,117
conception?
338
00:17:09,718 --> 00:17:11,251
So when do you make your first deposit?
339
00:17:12,451 --> 00:17:14,184
We haven't discussed it.
340
00:17:14,184 --> 00:17:16,185
Well, these things don't happen by magic.
341
00:17:16,185 --> 00:17:17,686
They take planning and preparation.
342
00:17:17,686 --> 00:17:19,651
What kind of shorts are you wearing?
343
00:17:19,651 --> 00:17:20,718
None of your business.
344
00:17:20,718 --> 00:17:22,485
Well, make sure they're not too tight...
345
00:17:22,485 --> 00:17:24,218
'cause tightness constricts your balls.
346
00:17:24,218 --> 00:17:25,685
Aw, you get a heat wave down there
347
00:17:25,685 --> 00:17:27,853
And your little soldiers'll be decimated.
348
00:17:27,853 --> 00:17:29,985
Get yourself some fruit of the looms.
349
00:17:29,985 --> 00:17:31,351
Big, baggy boxers.
350
00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:32,351
Vic'll loan you his.
351
00:17:32,351 --> 00:17:33,384
Thanks a lot.
352
00:17:33,384 --> 00:17:34,818
And cut back on the sex, huh?
353
00:17:34,818 --> 00:17:36,285
You got to save up your payload.
354
00:17:38,052 --> 00:17:39,719
You know, i think i'll hit the gym.
355
00:17:39,719 --> 00:17:40,752
Vic, debbie, see you later.
356
00:17:40,752 --> 00:17:41,686
Bye, honey.
357
00:17:43,886 --> 00:17:45,251
Let me out, sis.
358
00:17:45,251 --> 00:17:46,185
Where're you going?
359
00:17:47,652 --> 00:17:50,219
To get michael a pair of my big, baggy fruit of the looms.
360
00:17:57,186 --> 00:18:00,152
Ben! You mind if i walk with you?
361
00:18:00,152 --> 00:18:02,419
No. All that baby talk.
362
00:18:02,419 --> 00:18:04,319
I-I'm thrilled for michael and the girls.
363
00:18:04,319 --> 00:18:06,453
I never wanted kids, myself.
364
00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:08,887
I did. Of course, that's not going to happen now.
365
00:18:08,887 --> 00:18:10,753
One of the ways we're not like "them" any more.
366
00:18:12,018 --> 00:18:13,452
I try not to think about it.
367
00:18:13,452 --> 00:18:14,886
Some days, i even succeed.
368
00:18:14,886 --> 00:18:16,653
I know what you mean.
369
00:18:16,653 --> 00:18:18,553
But then something always happens to remind me:
370
00:18:18,553 --> 00:18:20,453
A touch of the flu, someone donating sperm,
371
00:18:20,453 --> 00:18:22,753
A lover who dies... vic...
372
00:18:22,753 --> 00:18:24,185
i'll see you later.
373
00:18:39,353 --> 00:18:40,753
Turn around.
374
00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:41,753
Sorry.
375
00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:51,753
Yeah!
376
00:19:01,654 --> 00:19:02,588
Brian kinney?
377
00:19:03,653 --> 00:19:04,587
Who's that?
378
00:19:05,921 --> 00:19:06,855
Oh, you caught me.
379
00:19:09,454 --> 00:19:10,387
Fuck.
380
00:19:12,654 --> 00:19:14,921
Where'd we meet?
381
00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:16,355
Uniform night at babylon?
382
00:19:17,888 --> 00:19:19,187
I hope you brought your, uh...
383
00:19:19,187 --> 00:19:21,020
handcuffs and your nightstick.
384
00:19:22,521 --> 00:19:24,521
I'm officer handley, pittsburgh police.
385
00:19:25,555 --> 00:19:27,722
Christ. Huh. You're for real.
386
00:19:29,755 --> 00:19:32,221
Jesus. You need to come with me to headquarters, mr. Kinney.
387
00:19:37,988 --> 00:19:39,589
Now you're sure you want to do this? Thanks.
388
00:19:39,589 --> 00:19:41,589
Ben and i were up talking about it half the night.
389
00:19:41,589 --> 00:19:44,287
I think he's almost as excited about it as i am.
390
00:19:44,287 --> 00:19:47,121
And you understand what's required?
391
00:19:47,121 --> 00:19:49,622
Yeah, unless they're making babies a new way these days,
392
00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:51,055
I have a pretty good idea.
393
00:19:52,589 --> 00:19:54,822
Okay, then all you have to do is sign this.
394
00:19:56,022 --> 00:19:57,222
"The donor agrees..."
395
00:19:58,622 --> 00:20:00,988
"...No parental rights..."
396
00:20:00,988 --> 00:20:02,988
"...Visitation strictly by permission."
397
00:20:02,988 --> 00:20:03,988
What's all this?
398
00:20:03,988 --> 00:20:05,590
It's just a formality.
399
00:20:05,590 --> 00:20:06,790
For your protection as well as ours.
400
00:20:06,790 --> 00:20:08,989
Protection from what?
401
00:20:08,989 --> 00:20:10,722
As you can see...
402
00:20:10,722 --> 00:20:14,288
section two, paragraph four,
403
00:20:14,288 --> 00:20:17,690
It relieves you of any financial responsibilities whatsoever.
404
00:20:17,690 --> 00:20:20,590
"Once the party of the second part has performed his function,
405
00:20:20,590 --> 00:20:23,455
He is free of any further obliga...
406
00:20:23,455 --> 00:20:25,923
obligation."
407
00:20:25,923 --> 00:20:29,189
That is a relief; knowing i'll never have to see my own kid.
408
00:20:29,189 --> 00:20:31,556
Well, you'll know the baby, michael, and the baby will know you.
409
00:20:31,556 --> 00:20:33,490
Well, sure, when he-Or-She is old enough,
410
00:20:33,490 --> 00:20:35,156
You can explain that i'm "the donor".
411
00:20:35,156 --> 00:20:37,756
That is what this is about.
412
00:20:37,756 --> 00:20:39,923
I must've heard you wrong, because i swear you said
413
00:20:39,923 --> 00:20:41,423
You wanted me to be the father.
414
00:20:46,090 --> 00:20:48,023
After what happened with brian
415
00:20:48,023 --> 00:20:49,989
Not wanting to give up his parental rights,
416
00:20:49,989 --> 00:20:51,723
I'm sure you understand.
417
00:20:51,723 --> 00:20:54,423
Yeah, and i'm beginning to understand how he must've felt.
418
00:20:56,757 --> 00:20:58,257
And i sure as hell understand
419
00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,724
How a kid feels who doesn't have a dad,
420
00:21:00,724 --> 00:21:02,223
'Cause i didn't have one.
421
00:21:02,223 --> 00:21:04,223
So if you need to do this, you know,
422
00:21:04,223 --> 00:21:06,691
Make everything legal and all, then go ahead.
423
00:21:06,691 --> 00:21:07,624
I mean...
424
00:21:08,990 --> 00:21:10,924
You have to do what's right for you. But...
425
00:21:12,657 --> 00:21:13,591
so do i.
426
00:21:16,958 --> 00:21:18,023
Uh-H-H...
427
00:21:18,023 --> 00:21:19,190
michael...
428
00:21:24,524 --> 00:21:26,592
always finish a meal with a smile.
429
00:21:28,391 --> 00:21:30,190
Huh?
430
00:21:30,190 --> 00:21:31,657
And here...
431
00:21:31,657 --> 00:21:33,791
useful and decorative.
432
00:21:33,791 --> 00:21:36,358
I know, ah, ethan's jewish,
433
00:21:36,358 --> 00:21:38,959
So just tell him to ignore jesus on the cross.
434
00:21:40,024 --> 00:21:42,990
And this is my fave.
435
00:21:42,990 --> 00:21:45,458
It's been in vic's room all these years.
436
00:21:45,458 --> 00:21:47,291
But i'm willing to part with it.
437
00:21:47,291 --> 00:21:49,058
It's to remind you that wherever you are,
438
00:21:49,058 --> 00:21:50,758
I'm always there looking out for you.
439
00:21:52,959 --> 00:21:54,391
Are you sure you don't want them?
440
00:21:55,959 --> 00:21:57,725
Well, they're... they're family heirlooms, but, uh...
441
00:21:57,725 --> 00:21:59,925
i mean, i know you boys need things, so, i...
442
00:21:59,925 --> 00:22:02,458
i'm passing them on to you and ethan for safekeeping.
443
00:22:09,258 --> 00:22:11,592
Hi, vic. Detective horvath.
444
00:22:11,592 --> 00:22:13,091
Sis, your dick's here.
445
00:22:14,158 --> 00:22:15,626
Hey!
446
00:22:15,626 --> 00:22:17,493
Hi, honey. Hey, sweetmeat.
447
00:22:19,826 --> 00:22:21,658
Heterosexual love.
448
00:22:21,658 --> 00:22:24,325
You see, justin? They're not that different from us.
449
00:22:24,325 --> 00:22:25,893
I thought we were on tomorrow night.
450
00:22:25,893 --> 00:22:27,459
We are.
451
00:22:27,459 --> 00:22:29,926
But there's something i thought you should know.
452
00:22:29,926 --> 00:22:31,059
One of your...
453
00:22:31,059 --> 00:22:32,793
lost boys is in trouble.
454
00:22:33,860 --> 00:22:35,759
Which one? Kinney.
455
00:22:35,759 --> 00:22:37,025
Brian?
456
00:22:37,025 --> 00:22:39,125
Something happen to brian?
457
00:22:39,125 --> 00:22:41,292
It seems his 12-Year-Old nephew
458
00:22:41,292 --> 00:22:43,092
Has accused him of molesting him.
459
00:22:44,292 --> 00:22:46,460
Holy shit. That's bullshit.
460
00:22:46,460 --> 00:22:48,960
There's no way brian would ever do something like that.
461
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:50,159
Has he been arrested?
462
00:22:50,159 --> 00:22:52,493
So far they're just questioning him.
463
00:22:52,493 --> 00:22:54,125
Brian may be a lot of things,
464
00:22:54,125 --> 00:22:55,327
And i'm the first one to say so.
465
00:22:55,327 --> 00:22:56,760
But he is no child molester.
466
00:23:22,993 --> 00:23:24,494
Welcome home, honey.
467
00:23:24,494 --> 00:23:25,428
How was work?
468
00:23:26,628 --> 00:23:28,360
Oh, the usual.
469
00:23:28,360 --> 00:23:31,260
Orgy, gang rape, enema-Thon.
470
00:23:31,260 --> 00:23:32,961
You must be exhausted.
471
00:23:32,961 --> 00:23:34,795
Yeah, well...
472
00:23:34,795 --> 00:23:36,695
got to keep giving those website members
473
00:23:36,695 --> 00:23:38,695
The kind of highquality entertainment they deserve.
474
00:23:43,293 --> 00:23:44,227
Hey.
475
00:23:45,528 --> 00:23:47,194
So what's all this?
476
00:23:47,194 --> 00:23:49,994
My aunt lulah's biloxi-Battered chicken.
477
00:23:49,994 --> 00:23:52,495
She used to say she could deep-Fat-Fry a horse apple
478
00:23:52,495 --> 00:23:53,927
And they'd come running.
479
00:23:58,561 --> 00:24:00,027
Ah, well, i guess i... i'm just going to go,
480
00:24:00,027 --> 00:24:01,127
Uh, wash my hands.
481
00:24:03,795 --> 00:24:06,095
Oh, uh, by the way, i hung a few things up in there to dry.
482
00:24:10,661 --> 00:24:12,394
I see.
483
00:24:12,394 --> 00:24:15,028
Why don't you sit down and, uh, put your feet up, honey?
484
00:24:15,028 --> 00:24:17,329
Din-Din be ready in a min-Min!
485
00:24:17,329 --> 00:24:18,329
Right.
486
00:24:21,394 --> 00:24:24,161
What, ah, what... what happened to the living room?
487
00:24:24,161 --> 00:24:25,629
Oh, i, ah...
488
00:24:25,629 --> 00:24:26,562
i feng shui-Ed it.
489
00:24:27,762 --> 00:24:28,762
Do you like it?
490
00:24:30,762 --> 00:24:31,896
Well, it really...
491
00:24:33,161 --> 00:24:34,261
gives the room a flow.
492
00:24:50,229 --> 00:24:51,762
Uh, my nail.
493
00:24:53,395 --> 00:24:56,230
What, teddy? Uh, there was a bent nail right there.
494
00:24:57,597 --> 00:24:59,829
What, that, uh, that rusty, old thing?
495
00:24:59,829 --> 00:25:01,529
Yeah, yeah, that rusty, old thing. Wh-Where is it?
496
00:25:03,395 --> 00:25:05,263
Well, while i was, uh, feng shui-Ing,
497
00:25:05,263 --> 00:25:07,129
I-It fell on the floor.
498
00:25:07,129 --> 00:25:08,296
You know how dangerous that would be
499
00:25:08,296 --> 00:25:09,630
If you stepped on that in your bare feet?
500
00:25:09,630 --> 00:25:10,697
You'd need a tetanus shot.
501
00:25:10,697 --> 00:25:11,964
Yeah, what did you do with it?
502
00:25:13,062 --> 00:25:14,028
I threw it out.
503
00:25:16,763 --> 00:25:18,263
It's just an old nail.
504
00:25:18,263 --> 00:25:20,763
It's not just an old nail.
505
00:25:20,763 --> 00:25:23,597
It's pavarotti's old nail.
506
00:25:23,597 --> 00:25:24,898
Before every performance,
507
00:25:24,898 --> 00:25:26,530
He has to find a bent nail backstage for good luck.
508
00:25:26,530 --> 00:25:27,730
Everybody knows that.
509
00:25:27,730 --> 00:25:29,330
The night he was in town performing "turandot"
510
00:25:29,330 --> 00:25:31,897
At the pittsburgh opera, he found that nail,
511
00:25:31,897 --> 00:25:34,363
Picked it up, kissed it, threw it over his shoulder,
512
00:25:34,363 --> 00:25:35,397
And i picked it up.
513
00:25:36,598 --> 00:25:37,631
It's been my good luck charm ever since.
514
00:25:37,631 --> 00:25:38,798
Now it's... it's just gone?
515
00:25:41,163 --> 00:25:42,129
I didn't know.
516
00:25:45,130 --> 00:25:46,164
I'm sorry.
517
00:25:46,164 --> 00:25:48,164
Well, you had no right touching it.
518
00:25:48,164 --> 00:25:49,931
You had no right touching anything!
519
00:25:49,931 --> 00:25:51,965
You know, i-I would appreciate it if you just put everything back
520
00:25:51,965 --> 00:25:55,564
The way you found it. And that includes removing your dripping shorts from my bathroom.
521
00:25:56,798 --> 00:25:57,664
Your bathroom?
522
00:25:59,264 --> 00:26:01,997
I'm sorry, i-I thought it was our... bathroom.
523
00:26:03,297 --> 00:26:05,664
In fact, i-I thought this was our... place.
524
00:26:07,631 --> 00:26:08,664
Apparently not.
525
00:26:12,664 --> 00:26:15,899
Well, like you said,
526
00:26:15,899 --> 00:26:17,565
Have to find out sooner or later
527
00:26:17,565 --> 00:26:19,364
Whether or not we could live together.
528
00:26:21,030 --> 00:26:23,030
Better to have found out sooner.
529
00:26:28,198 --> 00:26:31,432
He told them you made him suck your cock?
530
00:26:31,432 --> 00:26:33,297
That's what he told my cunt-Sister,
531
00:26:33,297 --> 00:26:35,298
That's what my cunt-Sister told the cops.
532
00:26:35,298 --> 00:26:37,599
I gave that little asshole free comics.
533
00:26:37,599 --> 00:26:39,599
They don't believe him, do they?
534
00:26:39,599 --> 00:26:41,866
Huh. Listen up, michael. Are you listening?
535
00:26:41,866 --> 00:26:43,899
I'm listening. They're heterosexuals.
536
00:26:43,899 --> 00:26:46,065
They think all us perverts are after only one thing:
537
00:26:46,065 --> 00:26:49,665
To get our hands on some sweet piece of little boy meat.
538
00:26:49,665 --> 00:26:51,165
So all he has to do is accuse you,
539
00:26:51,165 --> 00:26:52,899
And they automatically believe him?
540
00:26:52,899 --> 00:26:54,131
Dunno, but now i have to use the money
541
00:26:54,131 --> 00:26:55,633
I was going to spend on my botox treatments
542
00:26:55,633 --> 00:26:57,833
On some goddamn $300-An-Hour lawyer.
543
00:26:59,065 --> 00:27:00,799
They're not going to arrest you, are they?
544
00:27:00,799 --> 00:27:02,232
How do i know? Give me...
545
00:27:02,232 --> 00:27:03,332
shit, you could go to prison!
546
00:27:06,333 --> 00:27:07,500
Don't get yourself all worked up.
547
00:27:07,500 --> 00:27:09,099
I'm half italian and half drag-Queen.
548
00:27:09,099 --> 00:27:10,733
I'm allowed to get worked up.
549
00:27:10,733 --> 00:27:12,499
Well, you can't just...
550
00:27:12,499 --> 00:27:14,600
wait around for them to come and take you away.
551
00:27:16,433 --> 00:27:17,500
I don't intend to.
552
00:27:27,266 --> 00:27:28,466
Oh shit.
553
00:27:28,466 --> 00:27:29,900
Open the door. Go away
554
00:27:29,900 --> 00:27:31,900
Or i'll call the police, you son of a bitch.
555
00:27:31,900 --> 00:27:33,633
I said open the fucking door!
556
00:27:35,234 --> 00:27:37,100
Where is he? Get out of here, brian!
557
00:27:41,867 --> 00:27:43,433
John!
558
00:27:43,433 --> 00:27:45,534
Get your ass down here, you little fuck.
559
00:27:45,534 --> 00:27:48,400
What, you think i'm going to let you go near him, you sick pervert?
560
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:53,566
You think i actually molested your son?
561
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:58,234
You know, maybe if you had asked me
562
00:27:58,234 --> 00:28:00,567
Before you called the cops... why should i?
563
00:28:00,567 --> 00:28:02,133
And why would he make it up?
564
00:28:02,133 --> 00:28:03,901
Because your kid is a twisted,
565
00:28:03,901 --> 00:28:06,934
Fag-Hating liar, claire. That's why.
566
00:28:06,934 --> 00:28:09,033
And who'd he learn that from?
567
00:28:10,567 --> 00:28:12,133
Oh... uh-Huh.
568
00:28:12,133 --> 00:28:14,235
Enter mom, stage left.
569
00:28:14,235 --> 00:28:17,200
You have a hell of a nerve, showing your face.
570
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:19,701
Ah. Nice to see you too.
571
00:28:19,701 --> 00:28:20,968
What? Don't i get a kiss?
572
00:28:20,968 --> 00:28:22,667
Stay away from me. Don't worry.
573
00:28:22,667 --> 00:28:24,401
You're not my type. God only knows
574
00:28:24,401 --> 00:28:26,268
What permanent damage you've done to him.
575
00:28:26,268 --> 00:28:27,568
What? That you haven't done already?
576
00:28:27,568 --> 00:28:29,568
You ought to be locked up. Put away.
577
00:28:29,568 --> 00:28:32,968
Uh-Huh. Thanks, old sport. Have another.
578
00:28:32,968 --> 00:28:34,935
And if i have anything to say about it, you will be.
579
00:28:34,935 --> 00:28:36,902
How could you? How could i what?
580
00:28:38,735 --> 00:28:40,635
Make little johnny suck my dick?
581
00:28:43,934 --> 00:28:45,935
I'm going to find you, you little sack of shit!
582
00:28:45,935 --> 00:28:48,301
And this time, you won't be coming up for air!
583
00:28:48,301 --> 00:28:49,802
Did you hear that, mother?
584
00:28:49,802 --> 00:28:51,468
He just threatened him!
585
00:28:51,468 --> 00:28:52,602
I'm calling the police.
586
00:28:52,602 --> 00:28:54,369
Go ahead, sis.
587
00:28:54,369 --> 00:28:56,935
Tell 'em i'm a depraved monster.
588
00:28:56,935 --> 00:28:59,001
A godless fag, right, mom?
589
00:28:59,001 --> 00:29:01,301
If you think you're getting a reaction from me, you're not.
590
00:29:01,301 --> 00:29:04,102
However, i will say, knowing...
591
00:29:04,102 --> 00:29:06,169
the kind of life you live,
592
00:29:06,169 --> 00:29:09,835
The type of people you... associate with,
593
00:29:09,835 --> 00:29:11,935
I'm not surprised.
594
00:29:11,935 --> 00:29:15,536
It's what happens when you turn your back on the lord.
595
00:29:18,002 --> 00:29:19,603
Fuck the lord.
596
00:29:24,836 --> 00:29:26,169
And fuck you.
597
00:29:40,336 --> 00:29:42,803
I told my mom not to get her hopes up,
598
00:29:42,803 --> 00:29:45,303
And then she has to go and tell everybody.
599
00:29:46,637 --> 00:29:48,270
Now she'll probably be all disappointed,
600
00:29:48,270 --> 00:29:50,503
And mope around for days.
601
00:29:53,569 --> 00:29:55,937
Good thing you're not like her.
602
00:29:55,937 --> 00:29:56,871
Yeah.
603
00:30:00,604 --> 00:30:02,870
Oh, if it's any consolation,
604
00:30:02,870 --> 00:30:04,136
I'm disappointed too.
605
00:30:04,136 --> 00:30:05,904
I was looking forward to being uncle ben.
606
00:30:08,070 --> 00:30:10,403
Like the rice.
607
00:30:10,403 --> 00:30:12,904
Probably the closest i'll ever come to being a dad.
608
00:30:18,437 --> 00:30:20,604
I didn't know you wanted to be one.
609
00:30:20,604 --> 00:30:21,837
It was always a thought.
610
00:30:21,837 --> 00:30:23,737
But i never knew how much...
611
00:30:23,737 --> 00:30:25,638
i wanted it until i couldn't.
612
00:30:28,738 --> 00:30:29,704
Shit.
613
00:30:31,070 --> 00:30:32,670
There's somebody in the apartment.
614
00:30:40,905 --> 00:30:42,704
Jesus, em. What's going on?
615
00:30:42,704 --> 00:30:44,438
What are you doing back?
616
00:30:47,004 --> 00:30:48,838
Brian was right.
617
00:30:48,838 --> 00:30:50,938
Good thing i saved the boxes.
618
00:31:29,439 --> 00:31:30,973
Hey, where's your wife?
619
00:31:30,973 --> 00:31:32,305
She went home to her mother.
620
00:31:33,572 --> 00:31:35,439
Less than 24 hours?
621
00:31:35,439 --> 00:31:37,539
Wow, it surpassed even my own predictions.
622
00:31:37,539 --> 00:31:38,873
Congratulations.
623
00:31:38,873 --> 00:31:41,772
You must feel an overwhelming sense of satisfaction.
624
00:31:41,772 --> 00:31:43,607
Nah, what i feel is...
625
00:31:43,607 --> 00:31:45,673
an overwhelming sense of disgust,
626
00:31:45,673 --> 00:31:48,239
Seeing two pathetic fags trying to turn themselves
627
00:31:48,239 --> 00:31:50,172
Into something even more pathetic:
628
00:31:50,172 --> 00:31:53,138
Two happily married heterosexuals.
629
00:31:53,138 --> 00:31:54,907
It's got nothing to do with that.
630
00:31:57,073 --> 00:31:58,874
You know, it's got to do with something
631
00:31:58,874 --> 00:32:01,672
Us lower life forms generally refer to as love.
632
00:32:01,672 --> 00:32:05,039
Just because you can't comprehend that doesn't mean the rest of us
633
00:32:05,039 --> 00:32:09,673
Should be condemned to live out our lives in solitary confinement...
634
00:32:09,673 --> 00:32:12,874
our hearts banished to one of jupiter's ice moons.
635
00:32:12,874 --> 00:32:15,707
Whoa, that was very poetic...
636
00:32:15,707 --> 00:32:17,673
for a former accountant.
637
00:32:17,673 --> 00:32:19,707
Well, i-I sincerely hope you find the dream
638
00:32:19,707 --> 00:32:21,640
That satisfies your existence.
639
00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:24,908
But until then, why don't you buy me a drink?
640
00:32:24,908 --> 00:32:26,107
Fuck off.
641
00:32:28,406 --> 00:32:29,940
That's a good idea.
642
00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:45,841
Hey. Hey.
643
00:32:57,407 --> 00:33:00,040
Uh, you're a little young for me.
644
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:01,741
That's not what i heard.
645
00:33:24,141 --> 00:33:25,442
Yeah, motherfuckers. Die.
646
00:33:27,742 --> 00:33:28,942
How's choir practice?
647
00:33:28,942 --> 00:33:30,609
Who are you?
648
00:33:30,609 --> 00:33:33,041
I'm a friend of your uncle's. Another fag?
649
00:33:33,041 --> 00:33:34,609
Get away from me or...
650
00:33:34,609 --> 00:33:35,709
or i'll call the police.
651
00:33:37,208 --> 00:33:39,141
What are you going to tell 'em?
652
00:33:39,141 --> 00:33:41,141
That i made you suck me off too?
653
00:33:41,141 --> 00:33:43,041
What do you want? I want the truth.
654
00:33:43,041 --> 00:33:45,276
I already told the truth.
655
00:33:45,276 --> 00:33:47,342
He offered me money but i wouldn't do it.
656
00:33:47,342 --> 00:33:49,141
Did he offer you money too?
657
00:33:49,141 --> 00:33:51,609
Huh. He didn't have to.
658
00:33:51,609 --> 00:33:53,710
I would've paid him.
659
00:33:53,710 --> 00:33:55,376
If you don't admit that you're lying,
660
00:33:55,376 --> 00:33:57,543
That you made all of this up, brian could go to jail.
661
00:33:57,543 --> 00:34:01,675
Good. Then he'd get raped by a gang of black guys.
662
00:34:01,675 --> 00:34:03,643
Your mother must subscribe to hbo.
663
00:34:05,877 --> 00:34:06,977
What the fuck are you doing?
664
00:34:06,977 --> 00:34:08,810
Get your hands off me!
665
00:34:08,810 --> 00:34:10,877
That's a cool bracelet.
666
00:34:16,176 --> 00:34:19,209
Maybe the terms of the agreement were a bit harsh.
667
00:34:19,209 --> 00:34:21,243
I was only trying to protect us.
668
00:34:21,243 --> 00:34:23,009
But michael's not brian. I mean...
669
00:34:23,009 --> 00:34:24,644
that's why we chose him in the first place.
670
00:34:24,644 --> 00:34:26,543
I say we get a genius from the sperm bank.
671
00:34:26,543 --> 00:34:28,510
It's easier. For who, mel?
672
00:34:28,510 --> 00:34:32,009
Our kid? Never knowing its dad, except by a number?
673
00:34:32,009 --> 00:34:34,711
I'm not having a repeat of what we went through with brian.
674
00:34:34,711 --> 00:34:36,577
I just said michael's not brian.
675
00:34:36,577 --> 00:34:37,911
Are you even listening to me?
676
00:34:37,911 --> 00:34:40,176
Baby, the entire street's listening to you.
677
00:34:40,176 --> 00:34:41,776
It's not about michael,
678
00:34:41,776 --> 00:34:44,310
Or who the father will be.
679
00:34:44,310 --> 00:34:45,944
It's about trust;
680
00:34:45,944 --> 00:34:48,844
Trusting to fate, trusting to god,
681
00:34:48,844 --> 00:34:51,878
To the ob-Gyn, that somehow everything will be all right.
682
00:34:51,878 --> 00:34:54,277
Now, if you can't accept that,
683
00:34:54,277 --> 00:34:56,210
Maybe you shouldn't have a baby.
684
00:34:56,210 --> 00:34:57,811
Maybe we should stop, right now.
685
00:35:19,644 --> 00:35:20,644
What's up?
686
00:35:20,644 --> 00:35:22,043
How about you telling us?
687
00:35:22,043 --> 00:35:24,278
Let me handle this, debbie.
688
00:35:24,278 --> 00:35:26,345
Detective carl horvath,
689
00:35:26,345 --> 00:35:28,078
Pittsburgh p.D.
690
00:35:28,078 --> 00:35:30,078
I understand you've made some allegations
691
00:35:30,078 --> 00:35:32,177
Recently, regarding your uncle,
692
00:35:32,177 --> 00:35:33,245
Brian kinney.
693
00:35:33,245 --> 00:35:35,778
He made me do things to him.
694
00:35:35,778 --> 00:35:38,311
That's a pretty serious charge, son, if it's true.
695
00:35:38,311 --> 00:35:40,678
I'm not lying.
696
00:35:40,678 --> 00:35:43,513
He said you made it up because he found you stealing money from his wallet.
697
00:35:43,513 --> 00:35:45,179
He's the liar.
698
00:35:47,144 --> 00:35:49,411
You also took some kind of bracelet with shells.
699
00:35:49,411 --> 00:35:51,979
I don't have any stupid bracelet.
700
00:35:51,979 --> 00:35:54,379
I saw you wearing it today at the arcade.
701
00:35:54,379 --> 00:35:56,179
Why should anyone believe you?
702
00:35:56,179 --> 00:35:57,779
John, is that the bracelet
703
00:35:57,779 --> 00:35:59,445
You had on this morning at breakfast?
704
00:35:59,445 --> 00:36:01,044
Mom, would you shut up?
705
00:36:01,044 --> 00:36:02,178
Well you said you got it at the mall.
706
00:36:03,679 --> 00:36:05,613
I bought it with my allowance...
707
00:36:05,613 --> 00:36:08,379
at that store across from the pet shop.
708
00:36:08,379 --> 00:36:10,212
Let's see the bracelet, son.
709
00:36:10,212 --> 00:36:12,311
I don't have it. I lost it.
710
00:36:12,311 --> 00:36:13,880
Show it to him.
711
00:36:31,145 --> 00:36:33,180
Brian got it in mexico.
712
00:36:33,180 --> 00:36:35,013
His initials are carved on one of the shells.
713
00:36:37,213 --> 00:36:38,980
I want the truth, john.
714
00:36:38,980 --> 00:36:40,479
You tell me the truth.
715
00:36:41,613 --> 00:36:43,680
Now, did brian...
716
00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:46,313
really do what you said he did?
717
00:36:46,313 --> 00:36:47,380
He's a fag...
718
00:36:47,380 --> 00:36:49,180
like you said, a goddamn fag.
719
00:36:51,946 --> 00:36:53,447
Shame on you.
720
00:37:03,248 --> 00:37:05,514
But most of all, shame on you.
721
00:37:11,347 --> 00:37:13,281
And this "hulk" from
722
00:37:13,281 --> 00:37:15,147
Has a-A really cool battle with wolverine,
723
00:37:15,147 --> 00:37:17,014
And some great art by todd macfarlane.
724
00:37:23,181 --> 00:37:25,414
Hi. Hope we didn't come at a bad time.
725
00:37:25,414 --> 00:37:26,882
No, i was just...
726
00:37:26,882 --> 00:37:28,348
advising a collector.
727
00:37:28,348 --> 00:37:30,847
He's actually one of my best customers.
728
00:37:30,847 --> 00:37:33,014
Then we won't stay too long.
729
00:37:33,014 --> 00:37:34,414
Michael, about the agreement...
730
00:37:34,414 --> 00:37:37,615
Look, i already told you, i... we know.
731
00:37:37,615 --> 00:37:39,147
That's why we decided
732
00:37:39,147 --> 00:37:41,581
To amend some of the fine points.
733
00:37:44,848 --> 00:37:48,081
Provided you fulfil your "function",
734
00:37:48,081 --> 00:37:51,715
You will herewith be referred to as "the father".
735
00:37:56,282 --> 00:37:59,047
So, what do you say, dad?
736
00:38:05,582 --> 00:38:06,516
Oh!
737
00:38:19,649 --> 00:38:21,082
Mind if i have a drink?
738
00:38:23,350 --> 00:38:26,115
Name on the door's "woody's", not "emmett's".
739
00:38:26,115 --> 00:38:27,582
Grey goose and tonic.
740
00:38:30,516 --> 00:38:32,115
Em... save your breath.
741
00:38:32,115 --> 00:38:34,950
It's quite obvious you and i were not meant to live together.
742
00:38:34,950 --> 00:38:36,916
Look, i'm sorry that i got upset.
743
00:38:36,916 --> 00:38:39,349
Upset? Try, "went ballistic".
744
00:38:39,349 --> 00:38:41,015
Just, i'm kind of finicky...
745
00:38:41,015 --> 00:38:43,350
finicky is when you turn up your nose up at friskies.
746
00:38:43,350 --> 00:38:45,283
When it comes to my things.
747
00:38:45,283 --> 00:38:47,049
And why shouldn't you be, honey?
748
00:38:47,049 --> 00:38:48,683
It's your place.
749
00:38:48,683 --> 00:38:50,182
So in the future,
750
00:38:50,182 --> 00:38:52,517
Don't ask someone to move in with you.
751
00:38:54,116 --> 00:38:55,683
Look, after you left,
752
00:38:55,683 --> 00:38:57,817
I walked up and down liberty avenue.
753
00:38:57,817 --> 00:38:59,416
I finally ended up at the diner with a...
754
00:38:59,416 --> 00:39:02,183
a stale lemon bar and a copy of last week's "pittsburgh out".
755
00:39:02,183 --> 00:39:03,717
Have you seen it? Is the headline,
756
00:39:03,717 --> 00:39:05,783
"Finicky boyfriend goes berserk"?
757
00:39:05,783 --> 00:39:08,884
Actually, there's an interesting letter to "dear abs" in here.
758
00:39:08,884 --> 00:39:10,850
Don't tell me you read that silly queen.
759
00:39:10,850 --> 00:39:11,783
Go on.
760
00:39:17,984 --> 00:39:19,250
"Dear abs.
761
00:39:19,250 --> 00:39:21,016
My boyfriend just moved in with me
762
00:39:21,016 --> 00:39:23,885
And he's taken over.
763
00:39:23,885 --> 00:39:27,818
He even moved the lube to the right side of the bed.
764
00:39:27,818 --> 00:39:30,149
Help. Atta loss."
765
00:39:31,984 --> 00:39:33,251
So?
766
00:39:33,251 --> 00:39:34,284
Now his answer.
767
00:39:37,484 --> 00:39:39,017
"Dear atta.
768
00:39:39,017 --> 00:39:42,519
Get a new place that's both of yours,
769
00:39:42,519 --> 00:39:45,050
Unless you want to jack off alone.
770
00:39:46,851 --> 00:39:48,351
And as for the lube,
771
00:39:48,351 --> 00:39:50,284
I suggest you let your boyfriend
772
00:39:50,284 --> 00:39:51,684
Put it wherever he wants."
773
00:39:54,719 --> 00:39:56,384
Now there must have been a reason
774
00:39:56,384 --> 00:39:58,184
I was reading that at 2:00
in the morning.
775
00:39:59,718 --> 00:40:01,718
I don't want to lose you, em,
776
00:40:01,718 --> 00:40:04,318
But there's no way we can live together at my place.
777
00:40:04,318 --> 00:40:05,719
Yesterday's news.
778
00:40:05,719 --> 00:40:09,217
So i suggest we take dear abs' advice
779
00:40:09,217 --> 00:40:11,784
And get our place.
780
00:40:11,784 --> 00:40:14,585
A space big enough for you to feng shui your heart out
781
00:40:14,585 --> 00:40:16,385
And for me to close the door
782
00:40:16,385 --> 00:40:18,352
And try and hit a high c
783
00:40:18,352 --> 00:40:19,852
Along with pavarotti if i want to.
784
00:40:21,852 --> 00:40:24,018
In fact, i was thinking of...
785
00:40:25,552 --> 00:40:27,318
a house.
786
00:40:27,318 --> 00:40:28,685
A house?
787
00:40:28,685 --> 00:40:31,685
With a backyard, and rooms for you to decorate.
788
00:40:31,685 --> 00:40:32,987
Decorate?
789
00:40:32,987 --> 00:40:34,653
It's the best investment one can make.
790
00:40:34,653 --> 00:40:36,752
And besides being a great deduction, it's...
791
00:40:36,752 --> 00:40:38,519
it's a proven hedge against inflation
792
00:40:38,519 --> 00:40:40,252
And an unstable economy.
793
00:40:43,152 --> 00:40:45,119
So...
794
00:40:45,119 --> 00:40:47,520
what do you say?
795
00:40:47,520 --> 00:40:50,952
I say those are the most romantic words i ever heard.
796
00:41:04,653 --> 00:41:07,019
Are you counting off how many shopping days left till christmas?
797
00:41:07,019 --> 00:41:09,486
It's melanie's ovulation cycle.
798
00:41:10,753 --> 00:41:12,988
And what a perfect spot for it,
799
00:41:12,988 --> 00:41:14,687
Right beside our bed.
800
00:41:14,687 --> 00:41:17,419
Well, it's to remind me when we can do it,
801
00:41:17,419 --> 00:41:19,019
And when we can't.
802
00:41:19,019 --> 00:41:20,520
Whoever thought our sex life
803
00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:22,621
Would be ruled by a fertility chart?
804
00:41:22,621 --> 00:41:24,354
Well, now that i'm going to be a father,
805
00:41:24,354 --> 00:41:25,954
With full credit and everything,
806
00:41:25,954 --> 00:41:27,754
I gotta be extra-Special responsible.
807
00:41:27,754 --> 00:41:30,686
Tonight looks good though. You up for it?
808
00:41:30,686 --> 00:41:32,654
Yeah, soon as i get back from the gym.
809
00:41:32,654 --> 00:41:35,320
Wait, you're going to the gym again?
810
00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:37,687
Well, don't be late.
811
00:41:37,687 --> 00:41:39,654
Huh, miss my window of opportunity?
812
00:41:45,420 --> 00:41:46,988
Hmm... bye.
813
00:42:22,989 --> 00:42:25,054
I believe this belongs to you.
814
00:42:31,922 --> 00:42:33,055
Thanks.
815
00:42:34,421 --> 00:42:35,688
Any time.
816
00:42:39,288 --> 00:42:40,288
Here.
817
00:43:00,321 --> 00:43:02,456
Shouldn't you be getting back to your boyfriend?
818
00:43:06,856 --> 00:43:07,789
Yeah.
819
00:43:07,839 --> 00:43:12,389
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