All language subtitles for Queer as Folk s02e09 Accentuate the Positive.eng

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic Download
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew Download
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,000 www.Tvsubtitles.Net 2 00:01:04,338 --> 00:01:06,340 Haven't seen brian. 3 00:01:06,340 --> 00:01:08,843 He's with justin. It's "date night". 4 00:01:08,843 --> 00:01:10,344 Whoo-Hoo! 5 00:01:11,845 --> 00:01:13,847 I'm sorry, are we keeping you up? 6 00:01:13,847 --> 00:01:18,351 No. It's the business. 7 00:01:18,852 --> 00:01:19,853 Toiling away, day and night, 8 00:01:19,853 --> 00:01:20,854 It's not the same as punching in 9 00:01:20,854 --> 00:01:23,356 9:00 to 6:00 at wertschafter's. 10 00:01:23,356 --> 00:01:26,859 But just think, you're a success. 11 00:01:26,859 --> 00:01:28,861 Not that i've had much time to enjoy it. 12 00:01:28,861 --> 00:01:29,862 What you need is something 13 00:01:30,362 --> 00:01:31,864 To keep your eyelids open. 14 00:01:31,864 --> 00:01:34,333 Yeah, like him. 15 00:01:35,751 --> 00:01:37,252 Yeah, right. As if a norse god 16 00:01:37,252 --> 00:01:39,688 Is going to be interested in me. 17 00:01:39,688 --> 00:01:44,692 You never know unless you try. 18 00:01:44,692 --> 00:01:45,693 Sure, what the hell? 19 00:01:45,693 --> 00:01:47,695 I'm too tired to care. 20 00:01:47,695 --> 00:01:55,702 Attaboy. Yeah. 21 00:01:55,702 --> 00:02:00,207 Hi. How's it going? 22 00:02:00,207 --> 00:02:05,996 I'm ted. 23 00:02:05,996 --> 00:02:09,498 Maybe you could use it as a bookmark or something. 24 00:02:10,966 --> 00:02:13,853 Jerkatwork.Net. 25 00:02:14,353 --> 00:02:16,355 That you? That's right. 26 00:02:16,355 --> 00:02:18,290 I'm the president. 27 00:02:18,290 --> 00:02:21,227 I'm thor. 28 00:02:21,227 --> 00:02:24,646 So, how about hooking up? 29 00:02:24,646 --> 00:02:30,101 You and me? 30 00:02:30,101 --> 00:02:31,603 You got it... 31 00:02:31,603 --> 00:02:39,910 thor. 32 00:02:39,910 --> 00:02:41,378 He gave you his number? 33 00:02:41,378 --> 00:02:46,784 Seems success is the ultimate aphrodisiac. 34 00:02:46,784 --> 00:02:50,254 Oh, shit! 35 00:02:50,254 --> 00:02:52,755 Well, if it isn't the hunkiest professor 36 00:02:52,755 --> 00:02:54,257 In the whole wide world. 37 00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:57,243 Thank you for making me feel so much better. 38 00:02:57,243 --> 00:02:59,162 You did the right thing. 39 00:02:59,162 --> 00:03:00,163 The guy's positive. 40 00:03:00,663 --> 00:03:03,099 Positively yummy. 41 00:03:03,599 --> 00:03:05,101 There are plenty of fuckable guys out there 42 00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:06,536 That you don't have to worry about. 43 00:03:06,536 --> 00:03:08,537 Come on, let's dance. 44 00:03:20,465 --> 00:03:22,466 It's true, there's a lot of fuckable guys out there 45 00:03:22,466 --> 00:03:24,952 And i've even dated a few. 46 00:03:25,386 --> 00:03:26,887 More than a few. 47 00:03:26,887 --> 00:03:27,888 The only problem is... 48 00:03:27,888 --> 00:03:29,824 they're not ben. 49 00:03:29,824 --> 00:03:30,825 I can't stop thinking about him. 50 00:03:30,825 --> 00:03:32,326 I'm obsessed. And i'm... 51 00:03:32,326 --> 00:03:33,761 trying to eat. 52 00:03:34,261 --> 00:03:35,763 It's classic end-Of-Theaffair remorse. 53 00:03:35,763 --> 00:03:37,697 Made worse by the fact that you don't have anyone 54 00:03:37,697 --> 00:03:38,698 To replace him. 55 00:03:38,698 --> 00:03:41,117 It's my own fault. 56 00:03:41,117 --> 00:03:43,620 I shouldn't have let myself be influenced by other people. 57 00:03:43,620 --> 00:03:45,121 Well, you obviously had your doubts, 58 00:03:45,121 --> 00:03:47,123 Or else you'd have told us all to go fuck ourselves. 59 00:03:47,123 --> 00:03:49,576 There's probably some truth to that, michael. 60 00:03:49,576 --> 00:03:51,543 Do you think it's too late? 61 00:03:52,044 --> 00:03:53,996 You know, i ordered my eggs with bacon. 62 00:03:53,996 --> 00:03:55,931 Okay. Not group therapy. 63 00:03:55,931 --> 00:03:57,866 Huh. 64 00:03:57,866 --> 00:03:58,867 Oh. 65 00:03:59,368 --> 00:04:03,872 If you want ben back, go fucking get him. 66 00:04:03,872 --> 00:04:04,840 Hey! 67 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:08,843 Your side of bacon. 68 00:04:08,843 --> 00:04:10,845 Oh, well. Huh. 69 00:04:10,845 --> 00:04:12,296 Can't paste it back on the pig. 70 00:04:15,733 --> 00:04:17,735 Uh-Oh. 71 00:04:17,735 --> 00:04:21,171 Those puppy-Dog eyes can only mean one thing. 72 00:04:21,171 --> 00:04:22,672 Boy trouble. 73 00:04:24,124 --> 00:04:26,610 Oh. 74 00:04:26,610 --> 00:04:30,063 Honey. 75 00:04:30,063 --> 00:04:33,567 The right guy'll come along. You'll see. 76 00:04:33,567 --> 00:04:35,067 And when he does, you'll be right there 77 00:04:35,067 --> 00:04:38,070 With your big, warm heart. 78 00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:39,572 And that face that you just wanna pinch 79 00:04:39,572 --> 00:04:41,073 Like a peach. 80 00:04:41,073 --> 00:04:44,460 Mmm! Look at that. 81 00:04:44,460 --> 00:04:46,462 Right? Don't forget, 82 00:04:46,462 --> 00:04:49,964 Monday night, ziti night. 83 00:04:49,964 --> 00:04:51,466 Great, so i can be fat and single. 84 00:04:53,468 --> 00:04:55,403 I'm telling you, brian, she's driving me out of my mind. 85 00:04:56,905 --> 00:04:58,406 I told you two to behave! 86 00:04:58,907 --> 00:05:00,358 He did it. 87 00:05:00,358 --> 00:05:01,359 No, he did. 88 00:05:01,359 --> 00:05:02,327 Faggot. 89 00:05:02,826 --> 00:05:03,777 Homo. 90 00:05:03,777 --> 00:05:06,680 Look, sit down and shut up. Hey! 91 00:05:07,164 --> 00:05:08,665 Or i'll make sure your balls never drop. 92 00:05:09,149 --> 00:05:11,101 You know, i do everything for her. 93 00:05:11,101 --> 00:05:13,103 Do you think she appreciates it? 94 00:05:13,587 --> 00:05:15,038 Do you think she ever says "thank you"? 95 00:05:15,038 --> 00:05:17,540 All she does is criticize. I mean, 96 00:05:17,540 --> 00:05:19,976 Nothing is good enough for her. 97 00:05:20,459 --> 00:05:22,411 Why don't you kill her? 98 00:05:22,411 --> 00:05:23,846 No jury on earth would convict you. 99 00:05:23,846 --> 00:05:25,348 They all have mothers of their own. 100 00:05:25,348 --> 00:05:26,832 I have a better idea. 101 00:05:26,832 --> 00:05:28,251 You deal with her. 102 00:05:28,251 --> 00:05:29,252 You put up with her demands, 103 00:05:29,252 --> 00:05:31,254 Her drinking. 104 00:05:31,254 --> 00:05:33,255 Which has gotten a lot worse since daddy died. 105 00:05:33,255 --> 00:05:34,706 She's celebrating. 106 00:05:34,706 --> 00:05:36,207 Why don't you drive her to the doctor? 107 00:05:36,207 --> 00:05:39,210 To church. To get her hair done. 108 00:05:39,210 --> 00:05:40,645 Fuck that shit. 109 00:05:42,063 --> 00:05:43,565 Shut up. 110 00:05:43,565 --> 00:05:45,000 She's your mother too, 111 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,001 And you can't just stick me with her. 112 00:05:47,001 --> 00:05:48,002 It's worked so far. 113 00:05:48,002 --> 00:05:50,955 Well, not any more. I've looked after her, 114 00:05:50,955 --> 00:05:52,957 Well, after both of them, ever since we were kids 115 00:05:52,957 --> 00:05:54,458 While you just got off scot free. 116 00:05:54,458 --> 00:05:58,395 Now, either you help me out, brian, or i swear 117 00:05:58,395 --> 00:05:59,830 She's yours. 118 00:05:59,830 --> 00:06:01,331 All yours. 119 00:06:03,766 --> 00:06:05,268 Come on, let's go. Aw... 120 00:06:05,268 --> 00:06:06,769 I don't wanna go. I said we're going. Let's go. 121 00:06:06,769 --> 00:06:10,707 Oh-H-H... aw, this sucks. 122 00:06:22,718 --> 00:06:24,720 Well, i've done cop, cowboy. 123 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:26,221 Indian chief. 124 00:06:26,722 --> 00:06:28,724 After this, i guess i've done the village people. 125 00:06:30,725 --> 00:06:32,660 Ted? 126 00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:35,162 Hey! 127 00:06:35,162 --> 00:06:36,163 Huh? Poor baby. 128 00:06:36,163 --> 00:06:40,568 You really are exhausted. 129 00:06:40,568 --> 00:06:42,570 Invoices. Payroll. 130 00:06:42,570 --> 00:06:45,038 Accounts receivable. 131 00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:49,009 It's like wertschafter's times a thousand. 132 00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:53,513 And i'm supposed to meet thor the impaler tonight. 133 00:06:53,513 --> 00:06:55,515 Oh, what's the point? 134 00:06:55,515 --> 00:06:57,017 I'm too tired to even get it up. 135 00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:58,018 Honey, 136 00:06:58,517 --> 00:07:00,953 You are in the biz. 137 00:07:00,953 --> 00:07:02,955 A hard dick... 138 00:07:03,455 --> 00:07:07,876 is at your fingertips. 139 00:07:07,876 --> 00:07:11,880 Viagra? 140 00:07:12,381 --> 00:07:13,381 I don't know. I haven't exactly had a winning score 141 00:07:13,881 --> 00:07:14,882 When it comes to drugs. 142 00:07:14,882 --> 00:07:16,334 I understand your trepidation. 143 00:07:16,334 --> 00:07:18,336 And normally i'd agree with you. 144 00:07:18,336 --> 00:07:21,839 But, uh, but this stuff is made for octogenarians. 145 00:07:22,340 --> 00:07:24,342 If they can fuck like someone who's 30, 146 00:07:24,342 --> 00:07:27,761 Even you should be able to fuck like someone who'. 80. 147 00:07:27,761 --> 00:07:29,246 You ever tried it? 148 00:07:29,246 --> 00:07:32,199 Only when i operate heavy equipment. 149 00:07:32,199 --> 00:07:33,183 And? 150 00:07:33,183 --> 00:07:35,686 Ah, lasts for a few hours, tops. 151 00:07:35,686 --> 00:07:49,198 But, uh, long enough to have a night you'll never forget. 152 00:07:49,198 --> 00:07:51,701 Ben! 153 00:07:51,701 --> 00:07:53,202 Hey, michael. 154 00:07:53,202 --> 00:07:56,155 What a coincidence, my running into you. 155 00:07:56,155 --> 00:08:01,576 Uh, not really. I live here. 156 00:08:02,077 --> 00:08:06,998 Well, it was, uh, nice seeing you. 157 00:08:06,998 --> 00:08:09,501 The truth is, i've been walking up and down the block 158 00:08:09,501 --> 00:08:15,005 For two hours waiting for you. 159 00:08:15,005 --> 00:08:17,007 Would you like to come up? 160 00:08:17,007 --> 00:08:19,943 Can i get you something to drink? 161 00:08:19,943 --> 00:08:22,946 No. Thanks. 162 00:08:22,946 --> 00:08:25,948 Oh, a friend of mine gave me that. 163 00:08:26,449 --> 00:08:28,451 You're supposed to rub its belly for luck. 164 00:08:28,451 --> 00:08:30,453 Does it work? 165 00:08:30,453 --> 00:08:32,955 Can't hurt. 166 00:08:33,456 --> 00:08:43,331 Come through, buddha, ol' buddy. 167 00:08:43,832 --> 00:08:45,333 I've been thinking about you. 168 00:08:45,333 --> 00:08:47,836 A lot. 169 00:08:47,836 --> 00:08:49,838 I've thought about you too. 170 00:08:49,838 --> 00:08:52,841 Yeah? 171 00:08:52,841 --> 00:08:55,342 I think i may have overreacted. 172 00:08:55,342 --> 00:08:59,847 You know, to you being positive. 173 00:08:59,847 --> 00:09:02,349 Hmph. 174 00:09:02,349 --> 00:09:04,852 I listened to a lot of people when i... 175 00:09:05,352 --> 00:09:09,355 I should have listened to myself. Anyway... 176 00:09:09,355 --> 00:09:13,359 i'd like to start again. 177 00:09:13,359 --> 00:09:15,361 That is, if you're not seeing anyone. 178 00:09:15,361 --> 00:09:17,864 You're not... seeing anyone, are you? 179 00:09:17,864 --> 00:09:20,366 No. 180 00:09:20,366 --> 00:09:23,368 Well, good. Then... 181 00:09:23,368 --> 00:09:24,870 we can pick up where we left off. 182 00:09:25,370 --> 00:09:27,873 Mm. Mm-Mmm. 183 00:09:27,873 --> 00:09:31,376 Look, uh, i appreciate your coming to see me 184 00:09:31,376 --> 00:09:33,796 And everything you said that this time 185 00:09:33,796 --> 00:09:37,232 It would be different. 186 00:09:37,232 --> 00:09:40,234 But i can't take that chance. 187 00:09:40,234 --> 00:09:42,737 I need to know that if i allow myself to love someone, 188 00:09:42,737 --> 00:09:45,740 That they're not going to bail on me. 189 00:09:45,740 --> 00:09:47,241 No matter what their friends or their mother say, 190 00:09:47,241 --> 00:09:52,629 I need to know they'll be there. 191 00:09:52,629 --> 00:09:54,631 So, i'm sorry. 192 00:09:55,131 --> 00:09:59,102 But it takes more than a kiss. 193 00:09:59,102 --> 00:10:00,604 Oh. 194 00:10:00,604 --> 00:10:03,406 It's been an hour since i took it. 195 00:10:03,406 --> 00:10:05,125 Well, there are no hard or firm rules 196 00:10:05,125 --> 00:10:06,725 When it comes to these things. 197 00:10:06,725 --> 00:10:07,927 It'll happen when it happens. 198 00:10:08,327 --> 00:10:09,528 Well, i don't want anything to happen 199 00:10:09,528 --> 00:10:10,729 Till thor arrives. 200 00:10:10,729 --> 00:10:12,398 Hold on. 201 00:10:12,398 --> 00:10:13,599 Hello? 202 00:10:13,599 --> 00:10:15,601 It's me. Thor. 203 00:10:15,601 --> 00:10:17,603 Hey. 204 00:10:17,603 --> 00:10:20,005 So, uh... 205 00:10:20,005 --> 00:10:22,006 when are you coming over? 206 00:10:22,006 --> 00:10:23,608 I can't. My dog's throwing up. 207 00:10:23,608 --> 00:10:24,809 I-I gotta take her to the hospital. 208 00:10:26,411 --> 00:10:29,614 Christ, lulu! 209 00:10:30,014 --> 00:10:31,232 She did it again. 210 00:10:31,232 --> 00:10:32,483 I gotta go. 211 00:10:32,483 --> 00:10:35,586 Great. 212 00:10:35,586 --> 00:10:37,454 Ted? That was thor. 213 00:10:37,955 --> 00:10:39,456 Lulu's throwing up. 214 00:10:39,957 --> 00:10:40,958 Who's lulu? 215 00:10:41,458 --> 00:10:43,460 Oh, god. 216 00:10:43,460 --> 00:10:44,461 I'm getting hard. 217 00:10:44,461 --> 00:10:46,964 Oh, there, you see? It's working. 218 00:10:46,964 --> 00:10:49,466 Oh, it's working. 219 00:10:49,466 --> 00:10:51,467 Yeah, whoo-Hoo. What do i do now? 220 00:10:51,968 --> 00:10:53,469 What do you mean, "what do you do now?" 221 00:10:53,970 --> 00:10:54,971 You need a manual? 222 00:10:55,471 --> 00:10:56,973 Honey, i've seen you in action. 223 00:10:56,973 --> 00:10:58,975 We've all seen you in action. 224 00:10:58,975 --> 00:11:04,779 I'm sure you'll come up with something. 225 00:11:06,548 --> 00:11:08,850 Wow! 226 00:11:11,303 --> 00:11:13,305 It's a little early 227 00:11:13,305 --> 00:11:14,723 For that, isn't it? 228 00:11:14,723 --> 00:11:16,725 Just something to calm my nerves. 229 00:11:16,725 --> 00:11:20,694 When was the last time i saw you? 230 00:11:21,128 --> 00:11:22,112 Christmas. 231 00:11:22,112 --> 00:11:26,100 You stayed for an hour. Brought me flowers. 232 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:30,554 Same ones. 233 00:11:30,554 --> 00:11:32,556 Mmm. 234 00:11:32,556 --> 00:11:35,558 We better go, we don't want to be late. 235 00:11:35,558 --> 00:11:38,561 For what? Church. 236 00:11:38,561 --> 00:11:40,063 Church? 237 00:11:40,063 --> 00:11:43,066 Claire said you'd take me. 238 00:11:43,566 --> 00:11:49,571 I never said that. 239 00:11:49,571 --> 00:11:51,073 That bitch. 240 00:11:51,073 --> 00:11:57,079 Brian, do you have to use such language? 241 00:11:57,079 --> 00:11:58,580 You always went to th. 8:00 o'clock service. 242 00:11:58,580 --> 00:12:00,999 Well, i've switched to the noon one. 243 00:12:00,999 --> 00:12:03,000 It's more traditional... 244 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:12,009 and we have this wonderful new minister. 245 00:12:12,009 --> 00:12:13,511 Are you coming? 246 00:12:13,511 --> 00:12:16,513 Hell no. 247 00:12:16,513 --> 00:12:19,516 Fine. 248 00:12:20,016 --> 00:12:23,954 I'll go myself. 249 00:12:24,454 --> 00:12:28,925 You can't go like that. 250 00:12:28,925 --> 00:12:32,428 Darling, i've managed quite well on my own 251 00:12:32,428 --> 00:12:37,433 Without you, without anyone my entire life. 252 00:12:37,433 --> 00:12:38,934 Truly, i can do it. 253 00:12:38,934 --> 00:12:40,436 I don't need you. 254 00:13:01,388 --> 00:13:02,839 Yeah! 255 00:13:02,839 --> 00:13:03,790 Wow. 256 00:13:03,790 --> 00:13:05,742 Pretty cool. 257 00:13:05,742 --> 00:13:08,161 The nfl should sign you up. 258 00:13:08,662 --> 00:13:09,613 Uh, that's football. 259 00:13:10,063 --> 00:13:12,049 Right, right. I meant... i meant the nbl. 260 00:13:12,049 --> 00:13:15,451 There is no nbl. 261 00:13:15,451 --> 00:13:17,453 Okay, i don't know anything about basketball. 262 00:13:17,937 --> 00:13:19,372 But in... case you haven't noticed, i'm queer. 263 00:13:19,372 --> 00:13:21,323 Well, i love basketball. In case you haven't noticed, 264 00:13:21,323 --> 00:13:22,324 I'm queer, too. 265 00:13:22,324 --> 00:13:23,793 Oh, i've noticed. 266 00:13:23,793 --> 00:13:24,727 What's up, king, what's up. 267 00:13:25,227 --> 00:13:26,645 D'you want the ball? C'mon, let's go. 268 00:13:39,374 --> 00:13:42,827 Yeah! Whoo! 269 00:13:42,827 --> 00:13:45,746 Yo, guys, i gotta go. 270 00:13:45,746 --> 00:13:48,148 I-I'll cover. 271 00:13:48,148 --> 00:13:53,537 Oof. 272 00:13:53,537 --> 00:13:55,973 All right. Let's play ball. 273 00:13:55,973 --> 00:13:57,473 I'll cover mighty mouse. 274 00:13:57,974 --> 00:13:59,859 All right, wait. Come on, these guys are gonna trounce you. 275 00:13:59,859 --> 00:14:00,860 Give me the ball. No. 276 00:14:00,860 --> 00:14:02,812 I said give me the ball, michael. 277 00:14:02,812 --> 00:14:04,814 Not until you agree to go out with me. Tonight. 278 00:14:04,814 --> 00:14:07,250 Pardon me? The ball. 279 00:14:07,250 --> 00:14:10,219 Keep your shorts on, godzilla. Huh? 280 00:14:10,219 --> 00:14:11,220 Oo-Oo-Ooh. I'm not handing over the ball 281 00:14:11,220 --> 00:14:14,723 Until he agrees to go out with me on a date. 282 00:14:14,723 --> 00:14:16,224 Are you out of your mind? 283 00:14:16,224 --> 00:14:18,727 You met my mother. Do you really need to ask that? 284 00:14:18,727 --> 00:14:23,632 Huh? 285 00:14:23,632 --> 00:14:25,133 I suggest you say yes, 286 00:14:25,133 --> 00:14:27,134 'Cause if he's like the bitch i got at home, 287 00:14:27,134 --> 00:14:29,637 We're gonna be standing here all day. 288 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:52,809 Hi. 289 00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:54,310 Jesus. 290 00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:55,811 I told him to lay off the slimfast. 291 00:14:56,311 --> 00:14:57,312 Shh! 292 00:14:57,312 --> 00:14:58,313 Behave yourself. 293 00:14:58,313 --> 00:15:02,818 When were you last in church? 294 00:15:03,318 --> 00:15:07,322 It's been a while. 295 00:15:07,823 --> 00:15:11,142 Well, whenever i come here... 296 00:15:11,142 --> 00:15:14,011 i feel a sense of calm, of... 297 00:15:14,011 --> 00:15:15,963 inner peace... 298 00:15:15,963 --> 00:15:18,466 knowing that i'm watched over. 299 00:15:18,466 --> 00:15:21,969 Protected. Safe. 300 00:15:22,470 --> 00:15:23,971 Yeah, well a good security system would do the same job 301 00:15:24,471 --> 00:15:25,972 And in the long run be a lot cheaper than all those deposits 302 00:15:25,972 --> 00:15:28,975 You've dropped in the offering plate over the years. 303 00:15:28,975 --> 00:15:31,978 Wait'll you see our new minister. 304 00:15:32,479 --> 00:15:34,981 I can't tell you what a comfort he's been to me 305 00:15:34,981 --> 00:15:37,484 Since your father died. 306 00:15:37,484 --> 00:15:39,985 He calls, he visits. 307 00:15:39,985 --> 00:15:42,988 He makes sure i'm all right. 308 00:15:42,988 --> 00:15:47,493 Oh, he's been... like a son. 309 00:15:47,493 --> 00:15:48,994 Well, for his sake, i... 310 00:15:48,994 --> 00:16:00,889 Sure hope you don't treat him like one. Here he is. 311 00:16:00,889 --> 00:16:02,891 The grace of our lord, jesus christ, 312 00:16:02,891 --> 00:16:06,861 The love of god and the communion of the holy spirit 313 00:16:06,861 --> 00:16:08,362 Be with you all. 314 00:16:08,362 --> 00:16:14,818 And with you. 315 00:16:18,689 --> 00:16:20,157 Good afternoon, everyone, 316 00:16:20,157 --> 00:16:23,659 And, uh, welcome. 317 00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:25,661 As we begin our worship... 318 00:16:25,661 --> 00:16:28,164 Shhh. Sorry. Let us pray. 319 00:16:52,603 --> 00:16:56,090 Wasn't he wonderful? 320 00:16:56,090 --> 00:16:58,092 I want you to come and say hello. 321 00:16:58,092 --> 00:16:59,593 I've told him all about you. 322 00:16:59,593 --> 00:17:02,096 I told him how successful and goodlooking you are. 323 00:17:02,096 --> 00:17:03,597 He's just dying to meet you. 324 00:17:03,597 --> 00:17:05,598 I'll bet. Bye. 325 00:17:06,099 --> 00:17:08,101 Reverend tom. Joan. 326 00:17:08,101 --> 00:17:10,603 You never miss a single sunday. 327 00:17:11,104 --> 00:17:12,605 Not for the world. 328 00:17:12,605 --> 00:17:14,107 You'll never guess who's with me. My son. 329 00:17:14,607 --> 00:17:15,608 That's wonderful. 330 00:17:15,608 --> 00:17:17,110 Let me introduce you. 331 00:17:17,110 --> 00:17:18,611 Brian. 332 00:17:18,611 --> 00:17:22,064 This is reverend tom butterfield. 333 00:17:22,064 --> 00:17:24,566 Reverend butterfield. 334 00:17:25,067 --> 00:17:29,004 My mother's told me so much about you. 335 00:17:29,004 --> 00:17:31,006 It's uncanny. I feel as if we've already met. 336 00:17:31,506 --> 00:17:33,442 Oh, excuse me. 337 00:17:33,442 --> 00:17:34,442 Ruth! 338 00:17:34,942 --> 00:17:36,944 Hello, joan... 339 00:17:37,445 --> 00:17:38,946 great service. 340 00:17:38,946 --> 00:17:39,947 I'm glad you enjoyed it. 341 00:17:39,947 --> 00:17:41,432 I meant at the baths. 342 00:17:41,933 --> 00:17:43,384 Look, look... good sermon, reverend tom. 343 00:17:43,384 --> 00:17:47,388 Hi, thank you very much for coming. 344 00:17:47,388 --> 00:17:48,389 I don't know what to say. 345 00:17:48,389 --> 00:17:50,390 Me either. 346 00:17:50,390 --> 00:17:52,392 And i've fucked practically everybody in this burgh. 347 00:17:52,892 --> 00:17:56,830 But this... this is a first. 348 00:17:56,830 --> 00:18:00,333 I would appreciate it if you'd keep this between the two of us. 349 00:18:00,333 --> 00:18:02,335 You think i'm gonna tell my mom? Bye-Bye. 350 00:18:02,335 --> 00:18:04,336 She doesn't even know i'm gay. 351 00:18:04,837 --> 00:18:06,272 And i haven't talked to your boss for years, 352 00:18:06,272 --> 00:18:08,274 So don't worry, rev. 353 00:18:08,274 --> 00:18:14,146 Your secret's safe with me. 354 00:18:14,146 --> 00:18:16,548 So... you fucked your mother's minister? 355 00:18:16,548 --> 00:18:18,549 Mm-Hm. You should've seen it. 356 00:18:18,549 --> 00:18:19,550 It was totally hot. 357 00:18:19,550 --> 00:18:21,552 Isn't he taking quite a chance? 358 00:18:22,053 --> 00:18:24,055 The average age of his parish is 102. 359 00:18:24,055 --> 00:18:26,057 I doubt they're hanging out at the baths. 360 00:18:26,057 --> 00:18:28,977 I once wanted to be a priest. 361 00:18:28,977 --> 00:18:30,979 But then i thought, how unnatural, 362 00:18:31,479 --> 00:18:33,981 Living your life cloistered away in a world full of men. 363 00:18:35,983 --> 00:18:37,484 Mm. 364 00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:39,486 It's me. 365 00:18:39,486 --> 00:18:40,487 Hello? 366 00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:41,471 It's me. 367 00:18:41,972 --> 00:18:44,474 Teddy? Shhh! 368 00:18:44,474 --> 00:18:45,475 Where are you? 369 00:18:45,475 --> 00:18:47,476 On mel and lindsay's front porch. 370 00:18:47,476 --> 00:18:49,412 What are you doing on the front porch, honey? 371 00:18:49,412 --> 00:18:50,413 Why don't you come in? 372 00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:52,381 Because i don't want the others to see me. 373 00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:54,383 I've got to talk to you. 374 00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:55,885 So just... slip outside 375 00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:58,387 Like you're gonna check on the weather. 376 00:18:58,387 --> 00:19:08,330 But... promise, promise, promise me you'll come alone. 377 00:19:08,330 --> 00:19:09,331 Come have some brunch. 378 00:19:09,331 --> 00:19:11,266 Uh, no. No, no thank you, uh, 379 00:19:11,766 --> 00:19:13,768 I just, uh, i need to talk with emmett 380 00:19:13,768 --> 00:19:14,769 And, uh, then i'll be on my way. 381 00:19:18,272 --> 00:19:20,274 I still have an erection. 382 00:19:20,274 --> 00:19:22,276 What do you mean you still have an erection? 383 00:19:25,195 --> 00:19:28,148 Thank you, cnn. 384 00:19:28,148 --> 00:19:31,150 I took viagra last night. 385 00:19:31,651 --> 00:19:33,736 It's been 18 hours and it won't go down. 386 00:19:33,736 --> 00:19:34,670 What am i gonna do? 387 00:19:35,154 --> 00:19:36,589 Have you tried soaking it? 388 00:19:36,589 --> 00:19:37,540 How about a cold shower? 389 00:19:38,041 --> 00:19:38,541 How about scaring it? 390 00:19:39,025 --> 00:19:39,976 That's hiccups. 391 00:19:39,976 --> 00:19:40,927 Boo! 392 00:19:40,927 --> 00:19:42,362 Thank you all for caring. 393 00:19:42,845 --> 00:19:44,830 What about something that would absolutely turn you off? 394 00:19:44,830 --> 00:19:47,282 That's a great idea. Why don't you two show him your tits? 395 00:19:47,282 --> 00:19:48,266 Brian! Brian! 396 00:19:48,266 --> 00:19:51,269 You said this would last a few hours, tops. 397 00:19:51,269 --> 00:19:52,204 Go figure. 398 00:19:52,704 --> 00:19:54,206 Maybe you should take some. 399 00:19:54,206 --> 00:19:55,707 Our sex life isn't what it used to be. 400 00:19:57,659 --> 00:20:00,611 Well, we're down to like, four times a day. 401 00:20:00,611 --> 00:20:02,113 Look, i've gotta do something. 402 00:20:02,113 --> 00:20:05,032 Okay. Okay. Come on. 403 00:20:05,032 --> 00:20:07,034 Well, just try and make it till next monday. 404 00:20:07,535 --> 00:20:08,536 What's next monday? 405 00:20:08,536 --> 00:20:13,473 It's flag day. 406 00:20:13,473 --> 00:20:16,910 Bye. 407 00:20:16,910 --> 00:20:19,412 I can't believe... 408 00:20:19,412 --> 00:20:21,915 you're fucking me... 409 00:20:22,415 --> 00:20:26,419 again. 410 00:20:26,419 --> 00:20:28,921 It was your idea... 411 00:20:28,921 --> 00:20:31,423 to steal... 412 00:20:31,423 --> 00:20:33,425 ted's... 413 00:20:33,425 --> 00:20:36,929 viagra. 414 00:20:51,442 --> 00:20:54,946 Are you gonna answer? 415 00:20:54,946 --> 00:20:57,948 They'll go away. 416 00:21:08,408 --> 00:21:09,910 Mom. 417 00:21:09,910 --> 00:21:12,912 I'm sorry, am i disturbing you? 418 00:21:12,912 --> 00:21:15,915 I-I was going to leave this here by the door with a note, 419 00:21:15,915 --> 00:21:17,917 But then i thought as long as i'm here... 420 00:21:17,917 --> 00:21:19,919 i might as well bang on his door a million times 421 00:21:19,919 --> 00:21:21,921 And drive him nuts until he answers. 422 00:21:21,921 --> 00:21:23,923 It's your favourite. 423 00:21:23,923 --> 00:21:33,431 Chocolatechocolate chip. 424 00:21:33,431 --> 00:21:37,352 It's just my way of saying thank you 425 00:21:37,352 --> 00:21:40,354 For going with me to church. 426 00:21:40,854 --> 00:21:44,858 I can't tell you how much it meant. 427 00:21:44,858 --> 00:21:49,363 L-Let's do it again. Soon. 428 00:21:49,863 --> 00:21:53,367 I know you don't mean that. 429 00:21:53,367 --> 00:21:58,371 I probably won't see you again for another six months. 430 00:21:58,371 --> 00:22:00,373 If you had any idea how lonely it gets 431 00:22:00,373 --> 00:22:03,826 Now that your father is gone. 432 00:22:03,826 --> 00:22:05,828 I'm in that house... 433 00:22:05,828 --> 00:22:09,331 night and day by myself. 434 00:22:09,331 --> 00:22:18,840 The phone never rings. 435 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:23,844 If only... we could be close. 436 00:22:23,844 --> 00:22:25,346 The way we once were. 437 00:22:25,346 --> 00:22:27,348 Brian? 438 00:22:27,348 --> 00:22:29,850 Are you coming back? 439 00:22:30,351 --> 00:22:39,359 I didn't know there was someone else here. 440 00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:45,865 Justin, this is... my mother. 441 00:22:45,865 --> 00:22:49,869 Mom, this is justin. 442 00:22:49,869 --> 00:22:59,278 Hi. 443 00:22:59,278 --> 00:23:01,280 Mom. 444 00:23:07,718 --> 00:23:09,720 What? 445 00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:14,692 You're not gonna talk to me? 446 00:23:15,192 --> 00:23:17,628 Thank god your father didn't know. 447 00:23:17,628 --> 00:23:22,549 He did. 448 00:23:23,049 --> 00:23:32,058 I told him before he died. 449 00:23:32,058 --> 00:23:41,984 What about your sister? 450 00:23:41,984 --> 00:23:48,941 So, you told everyone but me. 451 00:23:48,941 --> 00:23:51,909 I hope you know it's a sin. 452 00:23:51,909 --> 00:24:02,220 That i fuck guys or that i didn't tell you? 453 00:24:02,220 --> 00:24:04,721 You can make all the jokes you want. 454 00:24:04,721 --> 00:24:07,224 The bible makes it clear. 455 00:24:07,224 --> 00:24:24,040 You're going to hell. 456 00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:29,028 Mm-Hmm. 457 00:24:29,028 --> 00:24:30,029 Mm-Hmm... 458 00:24:30,029 --> 00:24:32,531 w-W-What is it, doctor? 459 00:24:32,531 --> 00:24:35,533 Well, that's quite a boner you've got there. 460 00:24:35,533 --> 00:24:37,035 Nothing like the expert diagnosis 461 00:24:37,035 --> 00:24:39,037 Of a trained medical professional. 462 00:24:39,037 --> 00:24:40,538 Shush! 463 00:24:40,538 --> 00:24:43,541 But, uh... but, doctor, why won't it go down? 464 00:24:43,541 --> 00:24:45,043 It's a priapism. 465 00:24:45,543 --> 00:24:47,545 A blood clot to the penis. Oh, my god. 466 00:24:47,545 --> 00:24:49,046 Well, it's... 467 00:24:49,546 --> 00:24:51,048 better than a blood clot to the brain. 468 00:24:51,048 --> 00:24:56,003 Unless you think with your dick. 469 00:24:56,003 --> 00:24:58,005 Well, this is extremely unusual. 470 00:24:58,005 --> 00:25:00,941 It's one for the medical journals. 471 00:25:00,941 --> 00:25:02,942 Or the guinness book of world records. 472 00:25:03,443 --> 00:25:06,446 Shut up! 473 00:25:06,446 --> 00:25:08,448 So, what do you recommend? 474 00:25:08,448 --> 00:25:11,951 Are you in any pain? 475 00:25:11,951 --> 00:25:14,454 Well, try taking a decongestant. 476 00:25:14,454 --> 00:25:16,456 A decongestant? 477 00:25:16,456 --> 00:25:18,457 I have a penis in a state of permanent first stage alert, 478 00:25:18,957 --> 00:25:19,958 Not a stuffedup nose. 479 00:25:19,958 --> 00:25:22,461 Isn't there anything more cuttingedge you can do? 480 00:25:22,461 --> 00:25:23,462 Well, actually there is. 481 00:25:23,962 --> 00:25:24,463 We could, uh, insert 482 00:25:24,963 --> 00:25:26,948 Two wide needles up the shaft 483 00:25:26,948 --> 00:25:27,949 And drain the blood. 484 00:25:28,450 --> 00:25:30,402 You know, 485 00:25:30,902 --> 00:25:33,320 Decongestants have been very effective for me. 486 00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:37,308 But, uh... w-When will it go down, doctor? 487 00:25:37,308 --> 00:25:39,810 A-A week? Month? 488 00:25:39,810 --> 00:25:42,229 A year? 489 00:25:42,730 --> 00:25:44,732 Hard to say. 490 00:25:44,732 --> 00:25:49,652 Sorry. 491 00:26:00,629 --> 00:26:02,564 God, i need a stiff one. 492 00:26:03,515 --> 00:26:04,950 The other kind. 493 00:26:05,451 --> 00:26:06,452 Quit worrying. You heard what the doctor said. 494 00:26:06,452 --> 00:26:07,453 It'll go down. 495 00:26:07,453 --> 00:26:08,887 Yeah, mine did. 496 00:26:08,887 --> 00:26:10,823 Yeah, thanks to your mom. 497 00:26:10,823 --> 00:26:12,825 She can make anyone lose their hard-On. 498 00:26:12,825 --> 00:26:13,809 Can i get her number? 499 00:26:13,809 --> 00:26:15,693 She just needs a little time 500 00:26:15,693 --> 00:26:17,195 To get used to it. What? 501 00:26:17,195 --> 00:26:19,113 That her baby boy sucks hot, hard cock? 502 00:26:19,597 --> 00:26:20,531 And loves it. 503 00:26:20,531 --> 00:26:21,532 Yeah, she's probably 504 00:26:21,532 --> 00:26:23,534 Praying for my soul as we speak 505 00:26:23,534 --> 00:26:24,952 With reverend buttfuck. 506 00:26:24,952 --> 00:26:26,370 What a joke. 507 00:26:26,370 --> 00:26:28,823 Well, he's the one she believes in. 508 00:26:28,823 --> 00:26:30,757 The one she trusts. 509 00:26:31,258 --> 00:26:34,227 The one who's been like a son to her. 510 00:26:34,711 --> 00:26:35,712 If she only knew. 511 00:26:35,712 --> 00:26:37,214 Well, don't worry. 512 00:26:37,214 --> 00:26:40,700 God still loves you, no matter what. 513 00:26:40,700 --> 00:26:43,669 Yeah, like i give a shit what god thinks about me. 514 00:26:43,669 --> 00:26:46,105 He'd better be worried what i think about him. 515 00:26:46,105 --> 00:26:47,573 How do you figure that? 516 00:26:47,573 --> 00:26:49,074 Well, in all this cold, dead universe 517 00:26:49,074 --> 00:26:51,527 We're the only ones that know he exists. 518 00:26:51,527 --> 00:26:53,012 Without us, he's nothing. 519 00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:03,822 Oh. 520 00:27:04,322 --> 00:27:07,826 You came. I said i would, didn't i? 521 00:27:07,826 --> 00:27:11,262 I'm over here with the guys. Whoa. 522 00:27:11,262 --> 00:27:13,247 I thought this was about you and me. 523 00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:17,584 It is. Come on. 524 00:27:21,572 --> 00:27:23,073 Hey, guys, look who's here. 525 00:27:23,073 --> 00:27:25,409 Hi, guys. Hey, ben. 526 00:27:25,893 --> 00:27:26,843 Forgive me for not standing. 527 00:27:27,293 --> 00:27:29,679 He already is. 528 00:27:29,679 --> 00:27:31,597 So, did you guys just happen to... 529 00:27:31,597 --> 00:27:33,566 run into each other? 530 00:27:33,566 --> 00:27:35,051 Actually... uh, no. 531 00:27:35,051 --> 00:27:39,856 I invited him. He's my date. 532 00:27:39,856 --> 00:27:40,857 Well, i thought you two, uh... 533 00:27:40,857 --> 00:27:42,841 We did. But, uh, 534 00:27:42,841 --> 00:27:44,843 I'm hoping we can get back together again. 535 00:27:44,843 --> 00:27:48,213 Anybody got a problem with that? 536 00:27:48,213 --> 00:27:49,181 No. 537 00:27:49,681 --> 00:27:50,665 No. 538 00:27:54,085 --> 00:27:55,554 Glad to hear it. 539 00:27:55,554 --> 00:27:56,554 How about you? 540 00:28:04,428 --> 00:28:05,429 Hot stuff. 541 00:28:06,881 --> 00:28:08,816 Thank you. That goes out to jerome, 542 00:28:08,816 --> 00:28:12,302 My beloved, you're the only hot stuff i'll ever need, baby. 543 00:28:12,802 --> 00:28:15,255 Thanks, sweetie. You're my hot stuff too, baby. 544 00:28:18,224 --> 00:28:19,726 That was, uh, 545 00:28:19,726 --> 00:28:21,728 That was so moving. 546 00:28:21,728 --> 00:28:22,729 Wasn't that moving? 547 00:28:22,729 --> 00:28:25,097 Like a case of dysentery. 548 00:28:25,597 --> 00:28:27,099 Well, i think it takes real courage 549 00:28:27,099 --> 00:28:30,602 To stand up there and proclaim your love... 550 00:28:30,602 --> 00:28:33,522 off-Key. 551 00:28:33,522 --> 00:28:35,457 I gotta get going. 552 00:28:35,457 --> 00:28:36,942 But you just got here. 553 00:28:36,942 --> 00:28:41,329 You said let's get together, and we did. 554 00:28:41,329 --> 00:28:48,219 Take care of yourself, michael. 555 00:29:03,183 --> 00:29:05,101 Ah... 556 00:29:29,257 --> 00:29:31,259 you know, i found out a lot about you 557 00:29:31,259 --> 00:29:32,677 In the last few days. 558 00:29:32,677 --> 00:29:35,179 Like what? 559 00:29:35,179 --> 00:29:37,180 You can't play basketball. 560 00:29:37,180 --> 00:29:40,684 And you can't sing! Huh! 561 00:29:40,684 --> 00:29:43,186 It's pretty amazing how untalented i am, isn't it? 562 00:29:43,186 --> 00:29:46,690 I did not say that. 563 00:29:46,690 --> 00:29:48,191 All right, i admit... 564 00:29:48,191 --> 00:29:53,195 it took a lot of courage to get up there. 565 00:29:53,195 --> 00:29:57,199 Hell, it took fucking balls. 566 00:29:57,199 --> 00:29:58,701 Well, i told you. 567 00:29:58,701 --> 00:30:01,704 I know what i want, and i'll do anything to get it. 568 00:30:01,704 --> 00:30:04,707 You mean me? Yeah, i mean you. 569 00:30:04,707 --> 00:30:12,697 Ah. 570 00:30:12,697 --> 00:30:18,653 Hmm. 571 00:30:18,653 --> 00:30:21,088 All right, tell you what. 572 00:30:21,588 --> 00:30:24,591 Dinner, tomorrow night. My place. 573 00:30:24,591 --> 00:30:28,095 I will make you a chicken satay with pad thai noodles 574 00:30:28,095 --> 00:30:30,564 That will make you weep. 575 00:30:30,564 --> 00:30:32,066 Cool. 576 00:30:32,566 --> 00:30:34,068 Shit! 577 00:30:34,068 --> 00:30:35,568 What? 578 00:30:36,069 --> 00:30:37,070 I promised my mother i'd have dinner 579 00:30:37,070 --> 00:30:39,505 With her and my uncle vic. 580 00:30:39,505 --> 00:30:43,426 Some other time, then. No. 581 00:30:43,426 --> 00:30:44,927 No. 582 00:30:44,927 --> 00:30:50,432 Dinner. Tomorrow night. 583 00:31:05,046 --> 00:31:09,000 Hello, reverend. 584 00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:13,504 I just came in for a few quiet moments of solace. 585 00:31:13,504 --> 00:31:15,956 Prayer. 586 00:31:15,956 --> 00:31:18,958 Well, don't let me disturb you. 587 00:31:18,958 --> 00:31:24,881 You see, i have this terrible burden. 588 00:31:24,881 --> 00:31:26,383 And what is that? 589 00:31:26,383 --> 00:31:31,388 Well, my mother recently discovered that i'm a homosexual. 590 00:31:31,388 --> 00:31:33,889 And... 591 00:31:33,889 --> 00:31:38,394 she thinks i'm going to hell. 592 00:31:38,394 --> 00:31:39,395 That is a problem. 593 00:31:39,895 --> 00:31:41,897 But what she doesn't know 594 00:31:42,398 --> 00:31:45,901 Is that so's her minister. 595 00:31:45,901 --> 00:31:47,902 Not only that, 596 00:31:47,902 --> 00:31:52,356 And this is the part you're never gonna believe... 597 00:31:52,356 --> 00:31:54,358 i've actually had him. 598 00:31:54,358 --> 00:31:56,360 Myself. 599 00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:57,862 Down on all fours. 600 00:31:57,862 --> 00:31:59,363 Squealing like a pig. 601 00:31:59,363 --> 00:32:01,364 I don't think this is the time, 602 00:32:01,364 --> 00:32:03,867 Or the place to be having this kind of discussion. 603 00:32:03,867 --> 00:32:08,288 What would she say if she knew her man of god was at the baths 604 00:32:08,288 --> 00:32:12,709 Taking it up the ass? 605 00:32:12,709 --> 00:32:15,712 I understand your feelings of anger. 606 00:32:15,712 --> 00:32:17,713 Of pain. 607 00:32:17,713 --> 00:32:21,217 But they have nothing to do with me or this church. 608 00:32:21,717 --> 00:32:24,170 They have to do with you and your mother. 609 00:32:24,170 --> 00:32:28,090 You don't know shit about my mother. 610 00:32:28,090 --> 00:32:31,025 I know a lot more than you. 611 00:32:31,025 --> 00:32:32,527 'Cause i spend time with her. 612 00:32:33,027 --> 00:32:35,964 And i talk to her and i try to offer comfort. 613 00:32:36,448 --> 00:32:39,334 By telling her that i'm going to burn in hell? 614 00:32:39,834 --> 00:32:42,337 I don't teach that lesson. 615 00:32:42,837 --> 00:32:45,339 I teach love. 616 00:32:45,339 --> 00:32:46,840 I teach truth. 617 00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:48,809 The truth is you're a goddamn liar. 618 00:32:48,809 --> 00:32:50,744 Brian. If you want to betray me, 619 00:32:50,744 --> 00:32:53,247 If that's what you need to do, 620 00:32:53,747 --> 00:32:57,201 You do it. 621 00:32:57,201 --> 00:33:00,136 But i know who i have to answer to... 622 00:33:00,136 --> 00:33:04,140 and it isn't you. 623 00:33:04,140 --> 00:33:11,631 Now get the fuck out of my church. 624 00:33:12,014 --> 00:33:13,516 So which piece of whimsical fiction 625 00:33:13,516 --> 00:33:16,518 Would you prefer, sonny boy? 626 00:33:17,018 --> 00:33:18,520 Grimm's fairy tales? 627 00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:19,521 Or the bible? 628 00:33:20,021 --> 00:33:21,022 If you're going to be struck by lightning, 629 00:33:21,022 --> 00:33:22,524 I'd appreciate it if you do it 630 00:33:22,524 --> 00:33:24,025 When gus and i aren't around. 631 00:33:24,025 --> 00:33:26,027 That's all it is, it's a book. 632 00:33:26,027 --> 00:33:28,529 Full of fairy tales made up by a bunch of tribal hash-Heads. 633 00:33:29,029 --> 00:33:31,949 The world's been killing itself over it ever since. 634 00:33:31,949 --> 00:33:33,951 So who's the latest victim? 635 00:33:33,951 --> 00:33:36,453 Your mother's minister? 636 00:33:36,954 --> 00:33:37,955 Ye shall know the truth 637 00:33:37,955 --> 00:33:39,456 And the truth shall make you free. 638 00:33:39,456 --> 00:33:41,909 The truth according to saint brian? 639 00:33:41,909 --> 00:33:43,409 It's joh. 8:32. 640 00:33:43,893 --> 00:33:45,879 Wow, i'm impressed. 641 00:33:45,879 --> 00:33:47,881 So what do you hope to accomplish 642 00:33:47,881 --> 00:33:50,884 With your truth? 643 00:33:50,884 --> 00:33:52,886 You'll destroy him, in which case you're no different 644 00:33:52,886 --> 00:33:56,389 Than the so-Called good christians you purport to despise. 645 00:33:56,389 --> 00:33:58,357 Doesn't mommy talk nice? 646 00:33:58,857 --> 00:34:01,793 All those big words. 647 00:34:01,793 --> 00:34:02,794 She has a right to know. 648 00:34:02,794 --> 00:34:04,713 What, that he's gay? 649 00:34:04,713 --> 00:34:07,716 So how come you never told her about yourself? 650 00:34:07,716 --> 00:34:10,719 Because my private life is none of her goddamn business. 651 00:34:10,719 --> 00:34:13,721 Right? Neither is her minister's. 652 00:34:13,721 --> 00:34:16,174 So why tell her? 653 00:34:16,174 --> 00:34:21,179 I mean, why take away the one thing she's got? 654 00:34:24,632 --> 00:34:26,550 Do you think i made enough? 655 00:34:26,550 --> 00:34:29,553 That depends on what you mean by "enough". 656 00:34:29,553 --> 00:34:31,054 If you mean enough for the entire population 657 00:34:31,054 --> 00:34:32,055 Of the western hemisphere, 658 00:34:32,556 --> 00:34:35,559 Then... yeah, you've made enough. 659 00:34:35,559 --> 00:34:38,061 Now relax, will you? Relax? 660 00:34:38,061 --> 00:34:40,063 My son is bringing someone home to meet us 661 00:34:40,063 --> 00:34:42,565 Without my even asking. 662 00:34:42,565 --> 00:34:44,567 Huh? At his request. 663 00:34:44,567 --> 00:34:46,569 Remember the last time that happened? 664 00:34:46,569 --> 00:34:48,571 Uh... it never has. 665 00:34:48,571 --> 00:34:52,074 So, this could be the one. 666 00:34:52,074 --> 00:34:56,578 The guy he wants to grow old with. 667 00:34:56,578 --> 00:34:59,581 Wouldn't it be a kicker if brian walked through that door? 668 00:34:59,581 --> 00:35:01,583 Yeah, maybe you need to get your meds adjusted. 669 00:35:02,584 --> 00:35:04,085 Ma, uncle vic? 670 00:35:04,085 --> 00:35:05,086 Oh, they're here. God, he's here. 671 00:35:05,587 --> 00:35:07,589 All right. Okay, they're here. 672 00:35:07,589 --> 00:35:08,590 All right... 673 00:35:08,590 --> 00:35:11,091 sweetheart! 674 00:35:11,091 --> 00:35:12,593 Hi, baby. 675 00:35:12,593 --> 00:35:17,547 You remember ben. 676 00:35:17,547 --> 00:35:19,549 Sure. 677 00:35:19,549 --> 00:35:21,969 Hi, ben. Hey. 678 00:35:21,969 --> 00:35:24,420 Hi. And, uh, this is my uncle vic. 679 00:35:24,921 --> 00:35:28,841 It's a pleasure to meet you, ben. Same here. 680 00:35:28,841 --> 00:35:31,344 Oh, uh, these are for you. 681 00:35:31,344 --> 00:35:33,346 Well, thank you. 682 00:35:33,346 --> 00:35:36,849 They're lovely. 683 00:35:36,849 --> 00:35:49,778 Well, are we just gonna stand here? Come on in. 684 00:35:49,778 --> 00:35:52,230 Mom. 685 00:35:52,730 --> 00:35:55,716 Imagine finding you here. 686 00:35:55,716 --> 00:35:58,686 I'm praying, brian. 687 00:35:58,686 --> 00:36:00,604 For my soul? 688 00:36:00,604 --> 00:36:04,074 I always include you in my prayers. 689 00:36:04,074 --> 00:36:19,088 What a pal. 690 00:36:35,087 --> 00:36:37,088 Now then, what do you want? 691 00:36:37,088 --> 00:36:40,024 Well, there's something i thought you might like to hear. 692 00:36:40,024 --> 00:36:43,027 And this seemed like the perfect setting. 693 00:36:43,027 --> 00:36:48,532 I hope you've come to ask forgiveness. 694 00:36:48,532 --> 00:36:50,533 Not exactly. 695 00:36:50,533 --> 00:36:53,536 It's the only salvation there is. 696 00:36:53,536 --> 00:37:00,043 What about the salvation army? 697 00:37:00,043 --> 00:37:03,546 You've always thought you were so smart, so clever. 698 00:37:03,546 --> 00:37:07,049 So much better than everybody else. 699 00:37:07,049 --> 00:37:09,051 Well, all the cleverness in this world 700 00:37:09,051 --> 00:37:11,053 Isn't going to help you... save it, mom, 701 00:37:11,053 --> 00:37:14,056 For your fagfree afterlife. 702 00:37:14,056 --> 00:37:17,559 Oh... all right. 703 00:37:17,559 --> 00:37:20,061 Go ahead, mock me. 704 00:37:20,561 --> 00:37:24,565 Mock my faith, mock god. 705 00:37:24,565 --> 00:37:27,568 You're no different than your father. 706 00:37:27,568 --> 00:37:30,571 He used to mock me too. 707 00:37:30,571 --> 00:37:33,574 He called me a saint. 708 00:37:33,574 --> 00:37:35,575 He said i was as stone-Cold as one. 709 00:37:39,579 --> 00:37:41,081 Well, it's hard to love a man 710 00:37:41,081 --> 00:37:43,083 Who's never given you 711 00:37:43,583 --> 00:37:46,086 A kind word in 30 years. 712 00:37:46,086 --> 00:37:49,588 Who'd rather spend time with his friends drinking 713 00:37:49,588 --> 00:37:51,090 Than with me. 714 00:37:51,090 --> 00:37:53,592 He never cared about his family. 715 00:37:53,592 --> 00:37:56,595 He didn't even want me to have you. 716 00:37:57,096 --> 00:37:59,598 I know the story. 717 00:37:59,598 --> 00:38:00,599 You may have heard it, 718 00:38:01,100 --> 00:38:02,600 But you don't know it. 719 00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:05,103 You don't know how i had to put up with his abuse, 720 00:38:05,603 --> 00:38:07,605 You don't know how i had to protect you from him. 721 00:38:08,106 --> 00:38:10,608 You don't know how i had to... 722 00:38:10,608 --> 00:38:14,112 let him hit me instead of you. 723 00:38:14,112 --> 00:38:17,614 You don't know that, do you? 724 00:38:17,614 --> 00:38:20,617 I don't want to hear that. 725 00:38:20,617 --> 00:38:25,122 No, 'course not. 726 00:38:25,122 --> 00:38:29,626 You can't be bothered. You never could. 727 00:38:29,626 --> 00:38:31,128 'Cause you're selfish. 728 00:38:31,128 --> 00:38:34,130 That's not true. 729 00:38:34,130 --> 00:38:38,634 I'm sorry to tell you, dear, but it is. 730 00:38:39,135 --> 00:38:43,139 All you ever cared about is yourself. 731 00:38:43,139 --> 00:38:49,144 I can't depend on you any more than i could on him. 732 00:38:49,144 --> 00:38:51,646 But there is someone i can count on, 733 00:38:52,147 --> 00:38:56,651 No matter what. 734 00:38:56,651 --> 00:38:59,154 Let me guess. 735 00:38:59,154 --> 00:39:03,657 Reverend tom. 736 00:39:04,158 --> 00:39:08,662 God. 737 00:39:08,662 --> 00:39:12,666 God will always be there for me. 738 00:39:12,666 --> 00:39:18,671 God will never let me down. 739 00:39:19,172 --> 00:39:29,381 Who can you say that about? 740 00:39:31,650 --> 00:39:34,153 My... my mom never did anything half-Assed. 741 00:39:34,153 --> 00:39:36,588 She couldn't just join p-Flag, right, 742 00:39:36,588 --> 00:39:38,090 She had to be the chapter president. 743 00:39:38,090 --> 00:39:40,909 Sounds familiar. 744 00:39:40,909 --> 00:39:42,878 I bet you two'd have a lot in common, ma. 745 00:39:42,878 --> 00:39:44,862 Uh-Huh. 746 00:39:44,862 --> 00:39:56,274 Anybody hungry? I am. 747 00:39:56,274 --> 00:40:01,778 You need any help? Nope. 748 00:40:01,778 --> 00:40:04,281 Ben's awesome, isn't he? Awesome. 749 00:40:04,281 --> 00:40:11,288 Where's my goddamn cheese grater? 750 00:40:11,788 --> 00:40:13,289 I like him, ma. I like him a lot. 751 00:40:13,789 --> 00:40:16,792 I know you do, sweetheart. I like him too. 752 00:40:16,792 --> 00:40:18,294 He's handsome, charming, smart. 753 00:40:18,294 --> 00:40:21,297 Obviously works out more than once a week. 754 00:40:21,297 --> 00:40:28,303 I just don't like him for you. 755 00:40:28,803 --> 00:40:30,805 And frankly i don't appreciate you ambushing me. 756 00:40:30,805 --> 00:40:32,307 I did not ambush you. 757 00:40:32,307 --> 00:40:33,758 You know how i feel about him. 758 00:40:33,758 --> 00:40:35,760 I made it perfectly clear. 759 00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:37,262 And yet you didn't even bother to tell me 760 00:40:37,262 --> 00:40:38,263 You were bringing him. 761 00:40:38,263 --> 00:40:39,764 I don't need your permission. 762 00:40:39,764 --> 00:40:41,715 This is still my house. 763 00:40:41,715 --> 00:40:46,653 And in my house, you still say "mother, may i?" 764 00:40:46,653 --> 00:40:50,657 I love him, ma. 765 00:40:50,657 --> 00:40:52,593 That's the reality. 766 00:40:52,593 --> 00:40:59,081 And you're just gonna have to live with it. 767 00:40:59,081 --> 00:41:01,567 God, i miss new york. 768 00:41:02,068 --> 00:41:03,069 Mm-Hm. 769 00:41:03,069 --> 00:41:04,987 I lived there for 12 years, you know. 770 00:41:04,987 --> 00:41:06,489 What's that bar on the upper west side? 771 00:41:06,489 --> 00:41:07,990 "The works". 772 00:41:07,990 --> 00:41:09,442 You ever go there? 773 00:41:09,442 --> 00:41:10,875 Oh, what, are you kidding? 774 00:41:10,875 --> 00:41:12,377 I grew up right around the corner. 775 00:41:12,877 --> 00:41:14,379 Huh. 776 00:41:14,379 --> 00:41:20,869 So how long you been positive, ben? 777 00:41:20,869 --> 00:41:21,870 Mother. 778 00:41:21,870 --> 00:41:23,371 I'd just like to know. 779 00:41:23,371 --> 00:41:25,306 That's okay, i'm fine with it. 780 00:41:25,306 --> 00:41:27,758 Five years. 781 00:41:27,758 --> 00:41:28,759 What's your t-Cell count? 782 00:41:28,759 --> 00:41:31,679 Uh, it's 600. 783 00:41:32,179 --> 00:41:32,680 Ever been hospitalized? 784 00:41:33,180 --> 00:41:33,681 No, not yet. 785 00:41:34,181 --> 00:41:36,150 Knock wood. 786 00:41:36,150 --> 00:41:37,585 Viral load? 787 00:41:37,585 --> 00:41:39,086 Undetectable. 788 00:41:39,086 --> 00:41:40,503 On the cocktail? 789 00:41:40,503 --> 00:41:41,504 Anti-Virals. 790 00:41:42,005 --> 00:41:46,960 What the fuck do you think you're doing? 791 00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:51,848 Thisis the reality, sweetheart. 792 00:41:51,848 --> 00:42:06,712 And you're just gonna have to live with it. 793 00:42:06,712 --> 00:42:12,166 Garlic bread? 794 00:42:24,477 --> 00:42:26,980 It's great that you're out in the world, 795 00:42:26,980 --> 00:42:28,982 You know, you're not letting it get you down. 796 00:42:28,982 --> 00:42:30,483 I wish something would get it down. 797 00:42:30,483 --> 00:42:31,985 Hey! 798 00:42:31,985 --> 00:42:32,986 Hey, ted. 799 00:42:32,986 --> 00:42:34,988 Listen, man, i'm sorry about the other night. 800 00:42:35,488 --> 00:42:36,973 I know. 801 00:42:37,473 --> 00:42:38,924 How's lulu? 802 00:42:38,924 --> 00:42:41,427 Turns out she ate a pair of my shorts. 803 00:42:41,927 --> 00:42:42,928 Caused her tummy great distress. 804 00:42:43,412 --> 00:42:48,350 You know, the same thing happens to me. 805 00:42:48,350 --> 00:42:51,303 So, you up for a little action? 806 00:42:51,303 --> 00:42:54,305 Oh, he's up for it, all right. 807 00:43:11,722 --> 00:43:13,223 Wow. 808 00:43:13,223 --> 00:43:14,224 That's some monster. 809 00:43:19,663 --> 00:43:21,647 Oh, yeah. 810 00:43:29,488 --> 00:43:34,493 Hey. Something wrong? 811 00:43:34,493 --> 00:43:35,493 It's going down. 812 00:43:36,945 --> 00:43:42,867 Oh, it is. 813 00:43:42,867 --> 00:43:46,371 It is! 814 00:43:46,371 --> 00:43:48,790 It's going down. 815 00:43:48,790 --> 00:43:50,290 I'm soft. 816 00:43:50,290 --> 00:43:51,792 You made my dick soft! 817 00:43:51,792 --> 00:43:53,227 Do you have to broadcast it? 818 00:43:54,678 --> 00:43:56,647 Hey, i'm soft! 819 00:43:57,097 --> 00:43:58,599 Look, i'm soft! 820 00:43:58,599 --> 00:43:59,600 Hey, i'm soft. Oh... 821 00:44:01,101 --> 00:44:07,090 hey! I'm soft! 822 00:44:07,557 --> 00:44:08,558 It was supposed to be dinner, 823 00:44:08,558 --> 00:44:10,560 Not the fucking spanish in-Queer-Sition. 824 00:44:11,060 --> 00:44:12,562 She knows lots of positive people. 825 00:44:12,562 --> 00:44:13,563 But none of them are dating her son. 826 00:44:13,563 --> 00:44:15,047 She's just trying to protect you. 827 00:44:15,047 --> 00:44:17,049 I don't need anyone protecting me. 828 00:44:17,049 --> 00:44:19,551 Well, try telling her that. 829 00:44:19,551 --> 00:44:22,988 What she was asking, you have the right to know. 830 00:44:22,988 --> 00:44:24,489 I'm in good shape now. 831 00:44:24,990 --> 00:44:25,991 But i can't promise that i'll always be. 832 00:44:25,991 --> 00:44:28,960 But there is no always. There's only now. 833 00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:32,447 That's all we have. Isn't that what you're always telling me? 834 00:44:32,447 --> 00:44:33,948 That's what i'm always telling you. 835 00:44:33,948 --> 00:44:35,883 So, then... 836 00:44:36,383 --> 00:44:40,387 i don't care what anyone else says or feels. 837 00:44:40,387 --> 00:44:41,889 I just care how i feel. 838 00:45:29,233 --> 00:45:34,704 I want you to be very sure. 839 00:45:34,704 --> 00:45:37,207 I am sure. 840 00:46:31,073 --> 00:46:33,075 Hey. 841 00:46:33,576 --> 00:46:37,079 Double. 842 00:46:37,079 --> 00:46:38,581 Two double jim beam. Bartender: okay, coming up. 843 00:46:38,581 --> 00:46:40,082 Let me get that. 844 00:46:40,082 --> 00:46:44,553 There you go, sir. 845 00:46:45,053 --> 00:46:46,555 That's a first. 846 00:46:46,555 --> 00:46:50,559 A clergyman buying someone else a drink. 847 00:46:50,559 --> 00:46:54,496 Your mother tells me you were at church. 848 00:46:54,496 --> 00:46:58,949 Yeah, well not for the reason you think. 849 00:46:58,949 --> 00:47:03,437 Whatever the reason, thank you. 850 00:47:03,938 --> 00:47:05,940 For what? 851 00:47:05,940 --> 00:47:09,443 Not saying anything. 852 00:47:09,443 --> 00:47:12,946 I didn't do it for you. 853 00:47:12,946 --> 00:47:16,416 You're a good son. 854 00:47:16,416 --> 00:47:18,418 Promise not to tell? 855 00:47:18,918 --> 00:47:21,921 Now, if you'll excuse me, i'm going to hell. 856 00:47:21,971 --> 00:47:26,521 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 56872

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.