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1
00:00:02,331 --> 00:00:03,833
Yeah, call my travel agent.
2
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Book me into the best resort in the bahamas
3
00:00:04,834 --> 00:00:07,339
The bahamas? Why? Is south beach over?
4
00:00:07,339 --> 00:00:10,844
No. Liberty air is sending me there for a marketing retreat.
5
00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:12,346
Oh, so this is all work, no play?
6
00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:16,853
Oh, right. I'll just crack open the spartacus guide.
7
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Hey, you got a minute?
8
00:00:19,357 --> 00:00:20,859
Yeah, we're just planning my trip.
9
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Well, you better hold off on that.
10
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I'm sending darren johnson instead.
11
00:00:25,866 --> 00:00:27,368
I need for you to go home.
12
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If you'll just excuse me for a minute.
13
00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:38,384
This is just until this whole harassment thing is over.
14
00:00:38,384 --> 00:00:40,888
Whatever happened to "innocent until proven guilty?"
15
00:00:40,888 --> 00:00:43,392
Look, the liberty air folks are conservative.
16
00:00:43,392 --> 00:00:44,894
What would they think if they found out
17
00:00:44,894 --> 00:00:47,398
That their account exec was involved in a gay sex scandal?
18
00:00:47,398 --> 00:00:49,401
You mean they wouldn't mind a straight one?
19
00:00:50,903 --> 00:00:52,906
I've also spoken with legal.
20
00:00:53,407 --> 00:00:56,412
You're going to be seeing a, uh, a rep from human resources,
21
00:00:56,412 --> 00:00:57,914
And there's going to be a...
22
00:00:57,914 --> 00:00:59,917
outside investigation, followed by a tribunal
23
00:00:59,917 --> 00:01:02,421
With a... an impartial mediator.
24
00:01:02,921 --> 00:01:04,924
When's the hanging?
25
00:01:04,924 --> 00:01:06,927
If i were you, i'd get myself a good lawyer.
26
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I told you not to fuck him.
27
00:01:19,947 --> 00:01:22,451
Have you ever noticed that when your mom's not waiting on us,
28
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The portions shrink by approximately one third?
29
00:01:25,456 --> 00:01:27,959
I said "fries". Plural.
30
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Are you even listening to me?
31
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Yeah, i shouldn't have fucked him.
32
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It's like mr. Wertschafter fucking me.
33
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Mr. Wertschafter's like 72!
34
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Do you mind? I was trying to eat.
35
00:01:39,476 --> 00:01:42,481
You know what i mean. You don't prey on the help.
36
00:01:42,481 --> 00:01:44,983
I didn't "prey" on him. He went after me.
37
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Let's go to the gym.
38
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You'll feel better after you work out.
39
00:01:50,992 --> 00:01:53,997
You coming? Oh, no.
40
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The gym isn't the same without my workout buddy.
41
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We'll be your workout buddies.
42
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Emmett would let me get away with murder.
43
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You guys'll make me sweat.
44
00:02:01,509 --> 00:02:03,011
So we'll see you at woody's later on?
45
00:02:03,512 --> 00:02:07,017
Ah, woody's isn't the same without my beer buddy there,
46
00:02:07,017 --> 00:02:09,521
Pointing out all the cute guys and...
47
00:02:09,521 --> 00:02:11,524
spilling drinks all over me.
48
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We'll spill drinks all over you.
49
00:02:13,528 --> 00:02:17,534
You know emmett can't commit to anything,
50
00:02:17,534 --> 00:02:19,036
A guy, a new conditioner.
51
00:02:19,537 --> 00:02:21,039
He'll get over this too. You'll see.
52
00:02:24,042 --> 00:02:25,044
Thanks for lunch.
53
00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:30,050
So, uh, there we were the other night,
54
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Jim and i, sitting around watching the game.
55
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I'm... i'm trying to teach him football.
56
00:02:34,558 --> 00:02:38,063
She is. Can you stand it? But i'm hopeless!
57
00:02:38,564 --> 00:02:41,067
Yeah, you are. But anyway, so there i am,
58
00:02:41,067 --> 00:02:44,072
Trying to explain point spreads yet again,
59
00:02:44,573 --> 00:02:46,576
When all of a sudden, uh,
60
00:02:46,576 --> 00:02:49,080
We started to look into each other's eyes.
61
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The next thing i know, we were kissing.
62
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With tongues and everything.
63
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I know. Can you stand it?
64
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And now... well, you tell them, honey.
65
00:03:01,599 --> 00:03:02,601
We're engaged.
66
00:03:04,102 --> 00:03:05,605
Can you stand it? Can you stand it?
67
00:03:07,608 --> 00:03:10,111
Do you see thepowerof the work we're doing here?
68
00:03:10,111 --> 00:03:13,116
Don't let anyone tell you that it isn't possible,
69
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That you can't heal.
70
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I want to hear success stories from each and every one of you.
71
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You can do it.
72
00:03:19,626 --> 00:03:21,629
You can do it. You can do it.
73
00:03:26,135 --> 00:03:27,637
It's inspiring, isn't it?
74
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Seeing people change their lives.
75
00:03:30,141 --> 00:03:32,645
Yeah, it gives us all hope that...
76
00:03:33,145 --> 00:03:35,650
one day we too can be a success story.
77
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God, i wish i was one. Oh, me too.
78
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I'm heather. Uh, emmett.
79
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Hi. Ow. Oh, nice, firm handshake.
80
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Sorry, i'm.... i'm working on that.
81
00:03:48,669 --> 00:03:50,672
Uh, so you're new here, huh?
82
00:03:51,172 --> 00:03:52,675
Uh, yeah. A couple of weeks. Ah.
83
00:03:52,675 --> 00:03:54,678
You? Uh, six months.
84
00:03:55,178 --> 00:03:57,683
Has it helped? I'm getting there,
85
00:03:57,683 --> 00:04:00,186
But it's a long road.
86
00:04:00,186 --> 00:04:04,192
You see, i first lost sight of the light back in college.
87
00:04:04,192 --> 00:04:06,696
I fell in love with one of my sorority sisters,
88
00:04:06,696 --> 00:04:08,198
Jeannie.
89
00:04:08,198 --> 00:04:10,703
I taught her how to play golf at my parents' country club.
90
00:04:10,703 --> 00:04:13,206
And then one night it just happened.
91
00:04:14,709 --> 00:04:17,212
We made love on the 18th green.
92
00:04:17,212 --> 00:04:19,716
God! Oh, i still remember that hole.
93
00:04:22,219 --> 00:04:25,222
But then, uh, she got engaged to a golf pro
94
00:04:25,222 --> 00:04:27,727
And moved to pinehurst, north carolina.
95
00:04:27,727 --> 00:04:28,728
Sorry.
96
00:04:28,728 --> 00:04:32,233
When she left, i thought i would die.
97
00:04:32,233 --> 00:04:35,739
And i tried to get over it by going from woman to woman.
98
00:04:35,739 --> 00:04:38,242
And i started to wonder how i ended up
99
00:04:38,242 --> 00:04:40,245
In such darkness.
100
00:04:41,748 --> 00:04:43,751
And that's when i started to find my way back to the light.
101
00:04:45,253 --> 00:04:46,255
What about you?
102
00:04:48,258 --> 00:04:49,761
I made a promise to god.
103
00:04:49,761 --> 00:04:51,262
Oh, far out!
104
00:04:51,262 --> 00:04:54,768
I mean, you know i... i really think he hears us, you know.
105
00:04:54,768 --> 00:04:55,770
Yeah. Yeah.
106
00:04:57,773 --> 00:05:01,278
Uh, so, what do you say,
107
00:05:01,278 --> 00:05:03,281
Maybe you and me go out together some time?
108
00:05:04,784 --> 00:05:07,286
You mean, like o-On...
109
00:05:07,286 --> 00:05:08,789
on a date? Mm-Hmm.
110
00:05:10,792 --> 00:05:12,294
I don't know. Uh...
111
00:05:12,294 --> 00:05:14,297
i thought you wanted to be a success story.
112
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More than anything.
113
00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:17,803
Well then let's go for it.
114
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Tomorrow night. I'll pick you up a.
8:00.
115
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All right. Okay
116
00:05:21,307 --> 00:05:22,809
8:00's great. But, um...
117
00:05:22,809 --> 00:05:24,311
aren't i supposed to pick you up?
118
00:05:24,812 --> 00:05:25,814
Oh. Ow!
119
00:05:25,814 --> 00:05:28,819
Yeah. Huh, right. Okay.
120
00:05:33,325 --> 00:05:34,828
Whipped you up a little snack.
121
00:05:37,331 --> 00:05:39,836
"A little snack" is a handful of captain crunch.
122
00:05:40,336 --> 00:05:41,839
I'm fresh out of captain crunch.
123
00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:44,342
This is a little penne, sun-Dried tomato.
124
00:05:44,342 --> 00:05:47,346
That's a white wine cream sauce with arugula,
125
00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:48,848
And a witty little merlot.
126
00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:53,856
Oh. It's hot!
127
00:05:54,356 --> 00:05:56,359
I burn... i-I burned my tongue.
128
00:05:56,359 --> 00:05:57,862
Well let me cool it down for you.
129
00:05:59,364 --> 00:06:01,367
Mm-Mm.
130
00:06:03,370 --> 00:06:05,373
That better not be who i think it is.
131
00:06:05,373 --> 00:06:06,375
Mm-Hmm?
132
00:06:07,376 --> 00:06:08,378
It's ted.
133
00:06:08,378 --> 00:06:09,881
Hey, am i disturbing you?
134
00:06:09,881 --> 00:06:11,383
Well... all right,
135
00:06:11,383 --> 00:06:12,885
So i'm lying in bed.
136
00:06:12,885 --> 00:06:14,888
I'm watching this porno flick, right? It's terrible.
137
00:06:14,888 --> 00:06:17,391
These two guys are fucking and eating pasta at the same time.
138
00:06:17,391 --> 00:06:19,394
Like anyone would really do that, right?
139
00:06:19,394 --> 00:06:20,897
Uh-Huh.
140
00:06:20,897 --> 00:06:22,398
When brian calls.
141
00:06:22,398 --> 00:06:23,400
Oh-Oh.
142
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:25,403
I think he's kind freaking out.
143
00:06:25,403 --> 00:06:26,905
Freaking out?
144
00:06:26,905 --> 00:06:28,908
Yeah. He wanted me to tell him, as his accountant,
145
00:06:28,908 --> 00:06:30,911
How long he could go without a job.
146
00:06:30,911 --> 00:06:31,913
And what did you tell him?
147
00:06:31,913 --> 00:06:34,917
The way he spends? Two months, tops.
148
00:06:34,917 --> 00:06:36,920
And what did he say?
149
00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:38,923
He thanked me very much
150
00:06:38,923 --> 00:06:41,928
For being such a wonderful and compassionate friend.
151
00:06:41,928 --> 00:06:43,931
Oh, my god, he is freaking out.
152
00:06:43,931 --> 00:06:45,934
Uh-Huh. Um... uh...
153
00:06:45,934 --> 00:06:46,936
i'll call you later.
154
00:06:46,936 --> 00:06:47,937
All right.
155
00:06:53,946 --> 00:06:54,948
Yeah!
156
00:06:56,951 --> 00:06:58,954
What's the matter?
157
00:06:58,954 --> 00:07:01,457
It's brian. I've got to call him. Uh...
158
00:07:01,457 --> 00:07:03,461
david, you don't understand.
159
00:07:03,461 --> 00:07:05,464
He's gonna go broke. He's gonna lose his job.
160
00:07:05,464 --> 00:07:08,467
You don't understand.
161
00:07:08,467 --> 00:07:11,472
We're not going to have a relationship like melanie and lindsay.
162
00:07:11,472 --> 00:07:13,475
Of course we're not.
163
00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:15,477
We're not lesbians.
164
00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:16,479
I mean...
165
00:07:18,983 --> 00:07:21,486
there's only room in this...
166
00:07:21,486 --> 00:07:24,992
house, our house, our bed, our life,
167
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For you and me, not for you and me and brian.
168
00:07:27,997 --> 00:07:28,998
I know.
169
00:07:34,006 --> 00:07:35,508
Promise me that you won't involve yourself
170
00:07:35,508 --> 00:07:37,511
In his problems. He's made his own bed.
171
00:07:39,514 --> 00:07:42,018
Now he can get sued in it.
172
00:07:46,525 --> 00:07:49,028
Let me get this straight. You fuck up my life,
173
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You destroy my relationship,
174
00:07:51,031 --> 00:07:53,534
And now you have the astonishing, breathtaking gall
175
00:07:53,534 --> 00:07:55,037
To ask me to represent you?
176
00:07:55,037 --> 00:07:57,040
Yeah. And i'll pay too.
177
00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:59,043
Oh, keep your money, because from what i hear,
178
00:07:59,043 --> 00:08:01,047
You're going to need it.
179
00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:06,054
Fine. Homophobic corporate america wins again.
180
00:08:06,054 --> 00:08:08,558
Oh, please. You could hang a sign on your office door
181
00:08:08,558 --> 00:08:11,562
Saying "blow jobs, 10 cents" and you'd still have it better
182
00:08:11,562 --> 00:08:13,064
Than any woman or person of colour
183
00:08:13,064 --> 00:08:15,067
Because guess what? You're a white man.
184
00:08:15,567 --> 00:08:18,072
Which still counts for something in this country.
185
00:08:18,072 --> 00:08:19,073
Thanks.
186
00:08:21,577 --> 00:08:23,079
All right, just for laughs,
187
00:08:23,079 --> 00:08:25,082
Give me your version of the story.
188
00:08:26,084 --> 00:08:27,585
He wanted it, i gave it to him.
189
00:08:27,585 --> 00:08:29,588
Like i asked for, short but sweet.
190
00:08:29,588 --> 00:08:31,591
It wasn't that short. And where
191
00:08:31,591 --> 00:08:35,097
Did this act of selfless generosity take place?
192
00:08:35,097 --> 00:08:37,600
In my office and in my loft.
193
00:08:38,101 --> 00:08:40,605
So he couldn't have minded it too much if he came back for more. Go on.
194
00:08:40,605 --> 00:08:42,608
Then he asked me to help him get a promotion.
195
00:08:42,608 --> 00:08:44,611
What did you tell him? I told him he wasn't ready.
196
00:08:45,112 --> 00:08:46,114
How did he take it?
197
00:08:46,114 --> 00:08:47,616
How do you think?
198
00:08:47,616 --> 00:08:50,120
He felt because we were both gay,
199
00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:54,126
And we'd fucked, that somehow he was entitled to a free ride.
200
00:08:54,126 --> 00:08:55,128
I didn't agree.
201
00:08:55,128 --> 00:08:56,629
How many tricks do you have a month?
202
00:08:57,631 --> 00:08:58,632
20, 30.
203
00:08:59,134 --> 00:09:00,636
Jesus, what a life.
204
00:09:00,636 --> 00:09:03,140
What does the number of guys i do have to do with it?
205
00:09:03,140 --> 00:09:05,143
Well for once, the fact that you screw everything that moves
206
00:09:05,143 --> 00:09:07,645
Is your finest quality and your best defense.
207
00:09:07,645 --> 00:09:11,150
You didn't have to abuse your position at work in order to get laid.
208
00:09:11,150 --> 00:09:13,153
"The fuck defense"?
209
00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:16,158
We've got to prove that when this kid didn't get what he wanted,
210
00:09:16,158 --> 00:09:18,161
He decided to use the law in order to get even.
211
00:09:20,164 --> 00:09:21,166
Then you'll take the case?
212
00:09:26,173 --> 00:09:28,176
Look, not that i give a shit about saving your ass,
213
00:09:28,176 --> 00:09:30,179
But it might be amusing to have you indebted to me
214
00:09:30,179 --> 00:09:31,681
For the rest of your life.
215
00:09:42,198 --> 00:09:43,700
Do it.
216
00:09:50,709 --> 00:09:51,711
Do it. Do it.
217
00:09:59,723 --> 00:10:00,725
Do it. Do it.
218
00:10:09,738 --> 00:10:11,241
Do the hustle.
219
00:10:14,745 --> 00:10:15,747
Whoo-Ooh!
220
00:10:15,747 --> 00:10:16,749
Whoo! Whoo!
221
00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:18,752
Do you mind?
222
00:10:19,253 --> 00:10:20,254
What's the matter, princess?
223
00:10:20,254 --> 00:10:22,257
I'm trying to do my homework.
224
00:10:22,257 --> 00:10:24,761
Well, excuuse us!
225
00:10:30,769 --> 00:10:31,270
Hey.
226
00:10:31,771 --> 00:10:33,273
Hey, mikey.
227
00:10:41,786 --> 00:10:43,289
What are they doing?
228
00:10:43,289 --> 00:10:44,791
Reliving their youth.
229
00:10:46,293 --> 00:10:47,295
Do the hustle!
230
00:10:48,797 --> 00:10:50,800
You people are so weird.
231
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:53,804
Well, if you don't like it, why don't you just go up to your room?
232
00:10:53,804 --> 00:10:55,808
Oh, let me rephrase that, "my room".
233
00:10:55,808 --> 00:10:57,811
Would you let it go, already?
234
00:10:57,811 --> 00:10:58,812
Yeah, mikey.
235
00:10:58,812 --> 00:11:01,817
You're a doctor's wife now.
236
00:11:01,817 --> 00:11:03,320
That's right.
237
00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:05,323
And to think i used to worry that you'd be spending your life
238
00:11:05,323 --> 00:11:07,825
Following after... what's-His-Name?
239
00:11:07,825 --> 00:11:09,327
Would you leave brian out of this?
240
00:11:09,827 --> 00:11:10,829
He's got enough shit to deal with.
241
00:11:12,331 --> 00:11:13,833
What kind of shit?
242
00:11:13,833 --> 00:11:17,339
Some guy at work is suing him for sexual harassment.
243
00:11:17,339 --> 00:11:19,342
It's really serious. He could lose everything.
244
00:11:21,345 --> 00:11:23,849
I knew some day he'd stick his dick where it didn't belong.
245
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:26,353
Well, we've got to do something.
246
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:28,356
Sunshine, i don't think there's anything you can do.
247
00:11:28,356 --> 00:11:29,858
I'm afraid...
248
00:11:31,361 --> 00:11:33,364
brian's fucked the last person he should have...
249
00:11:34,866 --> 00:11:35,867
himself.
250
00:11:39,373 --> 00:11:40,374
I'm sorry, honey.
251
00:11:44,381 --> 00:11:46,384
You're his best friend.
252
00:11:46,384 --> 00:11:47,886
You should do something.
253
00:11:48,387 --> 00:11:49,888
I-I would do something if i could.
254
00:11:50,389 --> 00:11:52,392
J-Just mind your own business.
255
00:12:01,906 --> 00:12:03,408
Dr. Cameron, please.
256
00:12:03,408 --> 00:12:04,409
It's michael.
257
00:12:07,914 --> 00:12:09,917
Hey!
258
00:12:09,917 --> 00:12:12,922
Listen, um, i-I know we had plans tonight, but, uh,
259
00:12:12,922 --> 00:12:14,925
My mom's got this... she's not feeling well.
260
00:12:14,925 --> 00:12:19,432
She's got this flu-Cough-Fever-Cold kind of a thing,
261
00:12:19,933 --> 00:12:22,437
Yeah, you know? And i thought i'd, you know,
262
00:12:22,437 --> 00:12:25,442
Stick around, and, uh, keep her company.
263
00:12:29,447 --> 00:12:30,949
Fuck you.
264
00:12:30,949 --> 00:12:32,952
Look, i-I just want you to know
265
00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:35,956
That i'm really sorry about this. Really?
266
00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:37,959
That makes me feel a lot better.
267
00:12:38,461 --> 00:12:39,963
Uh, i... i had no choice. If...
268
00:12:40,464 --> 00:12:42,467
if i didn't do what you wanted, you'd have fired me.
269
00:12:42,967 --> 00:12:44,470
No, you just tried to get ahead by giving head,
270
00:12:44,970 --> 00:12:47,975
Which, by the way, you're not very good at.
271
00:12:47,975 --> 00:12:51,481
Huh! We obviously remember things very differently.
272
00:12:51,481 --> 00:12:52,482
Yeah!
273
00:12:52,482 --> 00:12:53,984
Iremember what happened.
274
00:12:58,492 --> 00:13:00,495
If i could propose something...
275
00:13:02,497 --> 00:13:05,501
i'd be more than willing to forget the whole thing if...
276
00:13:05,501 --> 00:13:08,506
you'll say you're sorry, and reconsider me for that position.
277
00:13:08,506 --> 00:13:11,510
You know, you have a real talent for propositions.
278
00:13:11,510 --> 00:13:13,011
Would you mind not standing so close?
279
00:13:13,011 --> 00:13:14,514
Why?
280
00:13:15,014 --> 00:13:17,017
You worried something might happen?
281
00:13:17,017 --> 00:13:19,021
Like i might use my position of power
282
00:13:19,021 --> 00:13:21,024
To take advantage of your tight little asshole?
283
00:13:21,024 --> 00:13:22,025
God!
284
00:13:27,534 --> 00:13:30,037
Get out of my office.
285
00:13:36,047 --> 00:13:37,550
You know, i never realized till seeing it with you
286
00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:40,554
That "a night at the opera" was such an epic tragedy.
287
00:13:40,554 --> 00:13:43,057
I'm sorry. It's just that last halloween,
288
00:13:43,057 --> 00:13:46,062
Lindsay went as groucho and i went as harpo.
289
00:13:48,065 --> 00:13:49,568
Well, that explains it.
290
00:13:51,570 --> 00:13:53,573
Oh god,
291
00:13:54,073 --> 00:13:56,578
Nothing personal, but i just wish she was here.
292
00:13:57,579 --> 00:13:58,580
I understand.
293
00:14:00,583 --> 00:14:02,586
Most of my dates wish they were with someone else.
294
00:14:03,086 --> 00:14:05,089
Oh, don't say that.
295
00:14:05,089 --> 00:14:08,595
You're a real catch. I know.
296
00:14:08,595 --> 00:14:11,099
Just my luck, lesbians find me irresistible.
297
00:14:19,111 --> 00:14:20,614
Holy shit! What?
298
00:14:22,115 --> 00:14:23,618
I got you all excited?
299
00:14:25,621 --> 00:14:26,623
I don't believe it.
300
00:14:26,623 --> 00:14:29,126
Ted. M...
301
00:14:29,126 --> 00:14:30,128
melanie, h-Hi.
302
00:14:30,128 --> 00:14:33,131
Um, this is heather.
303
00:14:33,131 --> 00:14:34,634
My date.
304
00:14:34,634 --> 00:14:37,138
I'm sorry, i thought you said... he did.
305
00:14:37,639 --> 00:14:39,642
We're going for pizza. You want to double?
306
00:14:39,642 --> 00:14:41,144
Double? Yeah.
307
00:14:41,144 --> 00:14:42,647
They're not really a couple, heather.
308
00:14:44,650 --> 00:14:46,653
I'm a homo. And i'm a lesbo.
309
00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:48,656
Oh-H-H.
310
00:14:48,656 --> 00:14:51,660
I thought from the hug that maybe you were normal.
311
00:14:51,660 --> 00:14:53,162
We are.
312
00:14:53,162 --> 00:14:55,165
What the hell's gotten into you?
313
00:14:55,165 --> 00:14:56,667
He's seen the light.
314
00:14:56,667 --> 00:14:59,170
Where are they shining it? Up your ass?
315
00:14:59,170 --> 00:15:02,175
"See the light" is helping us build a...
316
00:15:02,175 --> 00:15:05,180
happy, heterosexual life.
317
00:15:05,180 --> 00:15:08,184
Yeah, well while you're at it, why don't you ask the wizard for a brain?
318
00:15:08,184 --> 00:15:09,687
I'm so glad that we amuse you.
319
00:15:09,687 --> 00:15:12,189
Who's amused? I'm outraged!
320
00:15:12,691 --> 00:15:14,193
Just ignore her, heather, she doesn't understand.
321
00:15:14,193 --> 00:15:15,695
I understand you assholes
322
00:15:16,196 --> 00:15:18,199
Are setting back the gay rights movement about 50 years.
323
00:15:19,701 --> 00:15:22,205
Come on, emmett, i don't think i care for your friends.
324
00:15:25,711 --> 00:15:26,712
Emmett, wait.
325
00:15:29,717 --> 00:15:31,219
Can we at least get together sometime?
326
00:15:33,723 --> 00:15:35,726
Sure. Um, if you ever want to...
327
00:15:37,228 --> 00:15:37,729
see the light...
328
00:15:39,231 --> 00:15:40,233
come to a meeting.
329
00:15:52,250 --> 00:15:54,753
I thought you might be a little hungry.
330
00:15:54,753 --> 00:15:56,255
A little?
331
00:15:56,756 --> 00:15:58,759
Do you know what we'd turn into if we ate all that?
332
00:15:58,759 --> 00:16:00,763
A couple of fat, flabby fags
333
00:16:00,763 --> 00:16:03,266
Who nobody would want to fuck, ever.
334
00:16:03,266 --> 00:16:04,769
Ah. Let's dig in.
335
00:16:06,772 --> 00:16:09,776
Mmm, you know what i remember from high school?
336
00:16:09,776 --> 00:16:12,280
The time in biology class
337
00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:15,284
When you beat off in a test tube for your science project?
338
00:16:15,786 --> 00:16:17,789
No. Food.
339
00:16:19,291 --> 00:16:21,294
There was always lots of food at your house.
340
00:16:21,294 --> 00:16:23,297
That's an italian thing.
341
00:16:23,297 --> 00:16:26,301
And there was always plenty of booze at your house.
342
00:16:26,301 --> 00:16:27,303
Yeah, huh?
343
00:16:27,303 --> 00:16:28,806
That's an irish thing.
344
00:16:30,307 --> 00:16:31,809
What's this?
345
00:16:31,809 --> 00:16:34,313
"Reality checklist"? Yeah, i've been...
346
00:16:34,313 --> 00:16:37,317
thinking of simplifying my life.
347
00:16:37,317 --> 00:16:39,320
"Clothes"?
348
00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:41,825
You... you can certainly save money on clothes.
349
00:16:43,326 --> 00:16:44,328
"Cosmetics"?
350
00:16:44,829 --> 00:16:47,834
Yeah, the french anti-Aging shit costs $100 a tube and...
351
00:16:47,834 --> 00:16:48,835
i still don't look 19.
352
00:16:50,337 --> 00:16:52,841
"Going out"? Yeah.
353
00:16:52,841 --> 00:16:54,844
I figured i could probably survive hitting the clubs
354
00:16:54,844 --> 00:16:56,847
Five times a week instead of six.
355
00:16:57,347 --> 00:16:58,850
I don't know. That's a pretty big sacrifice.
356
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:01,353
"Loft"?
357
00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:04,358
Yeah, well...
358
00:17:04,358 --> 00:17:06,361
what do i need this big, expensive place for, anyway?
359
00:17:07,362 --> 00:17:08,364
This is your home.
360
00:17:12,369 --> 00:17:13,371
Maybe it won't come to that.
361
00:17:15,374 --> 00:17:17,377
Hmm. Well, if it does,
362
00:17:17,377 --> 00:17:19,881
I'll just get a rich sugar daddy like the doc.
363
00:17:19,881 --> 00:17:21,383
He's not my sugar daddy.
364
00:17:23,386 --> 00:17:25,890
If i'm not careful, he might not even be my boyfriend.
365
00:17:25,890 --> 00:17:27,893
What? Trouble in paradise?
366
00:17:29,897 --> 00:17:31,398
He doesn't know i'm here.
367
00:17:33,401 --> 00:17:34,403
You're lying to him already?
368
00:17:36,406 --> 00:17:38,910
What is he afraid, i'll steal you away from him?
369
00:17:38,910 --> 00:17:39,912
Last chicken leg.
370
00:17:40,913 --> 00:17:42,415
You're the chicken hawk.
371
00:17:48,926 --> 00:17:50,427
I didn't do what they're saying.
372
00:17:52,429 --> 00:17:53,931
I just want you to know that.
373
00:17:55,433 --> 00:17:56,936
You don't have to explain.
374
00:17:59,941 --> 00:18:01,442
Hey, you know what i remember?
375
00:18:04,948 --> 00:18:09,455
Senior year we were going to be in a band.
376
00:18:09,455 --> 00:18:11,458
You were going to be the next robert smith.
377
00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:13,461
Yeah, well, that dream died real fast.
378
00:18:13,461 --> 00:18:14,964
We were damn good.
379
00:18:16,967 --> 00:18:18,970
Hey, do you still have that guitar?
380
00:18:21,473 --> 00:18:23,476
You know, they ought to let women in this contest.
381
00:18:23,476 --> 00:18:24,979
I've got a great chest.
382
00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:27,482
Yeah, chest of drawers.
383
00:18:27,482 --> 00:18:28,985
Ooh!
384
00:18:30,487 --> 00:18:32,489
Hey! David. Hi.
385
00:18:32,489 --> 00:18:33,992
Speaking of great chests.
386
00:18:33,992 --> 00:18:35,494
Where's michael?
387
00:18:35,494 --> 00:18:37,998
Here. He's here, isn't he?
388
00:18:37,998 --> 00:18:40,501
I haven't seen him.
389
00:18:40,501 --> 00:18:42,004
Well, he called and said that you were sick.
390
00:18:43,506 --> 00:18:45,009
He did?
391
00:18:45,009 --> 00:18:47,511
And he said he was spending the night here...
392
00:18:47,511 --> 00:18:49,014
to take care of you so...
393
00:18:49,014 --> 00:18:51,517
i thought i'd bring over some chicken soup.
394
00:18:52,019 --> 00:18:54,522
Oh, that is so thoughtful.
395
00:18:54,522 --> 00:18:56,525
And just what the doctor ordered.
396
00:18:56,525 --> 00:18:58,028
Hey, you're the doctor.
397
00:19:01,533 --> 00:19:02,534
So you're not sick?
398
00:19:04,537 --> 00:19:06,040
Well, don't sound so disappointed.
399
00:19:06,540 --> 00:19:09,545
She had a scratchy throat back in the winter of '86.
400
00:19:12,049 --> 00:19:13,050
Thank you. Yeah.
401
00:20:08,633 --> 00:20:11,137
Okay, let's go over the questions
402
00:20:11,638 --> 00:20:13,140
They're going to ask you at the hearing.
403
00:20:13,140 --> 00:20:15,143
Now? Huh! If you prefer,
404
00:20:15,143 --> 00:20:17,146
We can wait until they boot your butt out of the company.
405
00:20:17,146 --> 00:20:19,650
Yes, now. Christ, you asked me to represent you...
406
00:20:19,650 --> 00:20:20,651
okay, fine.
407
00:20:22,154 --> 00:20:24,157
Fire away. But...
408
00:20:24,157 --> 00:20:25,659
gently.
409
00:20:27,162 --> 00:20:28,664
I said gently.
410
00:20:29,165 --> 00:20:29,665
Justin, please?
411
00:20:32,670 --> 00:20:33,670
Sorry.
412
00:20:37,176 --> 00:20:39,680
Here, drink this. It's a secret recipe
413
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,683
That my alcoholic grandmother used to make.
414
00:20:44,686 --> 00:20:46,689
Jesus! It smells like a...
415
00:20:46,689 --> 00:20:48,192
dirty jockstrap.
416
00:20:48,192 --> 00:20:49,194
Well, in that case you should like it.
417
00:20:54,201 --> 00:20:56,204
The secret is she pissed in it.
418
00:20:56,204 --> 00:20:58,208
I'm just trying to help you.
419
00:20:58,708 --> 00:21:00,211
You know i'd do anything.
420
00:21:00,211 --> 00:21:02,214
Oh, jesus, let's just pray the arbitrator's gay,
421
00:21:02,214 --> 00:21:03,716
And thinks he's cute.
422
00:21:07,722 --> 00:21:09,224
I'm sorry, i didn't know you'd...
423
00:21:09,725 --> 00:21:10,726
it's okay, neither...
424
00:21:10,726 --> 00:21:12,229
Neither did... i'll come back later.
425
00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:14,231
No, stay. I... i was just helping brian with...
426
00:21:14,231 --> 00:21:15,233
I know. He told me.
427
00:21:18,237 --> 00:21:19,239
Look who's here, honey.
428
00:21:27,751 --> 00:21:28,753
Go on.
429
00:21:31,758 --> 00:21:33,761
Hey, buddy.
430
00:21:33,761 --> 00:21:35,263
Mmmm.
431
00:21:39,770 --> 00:21:41,272
Hey, sweetheart.
432
00:21:41,272 --> 00:21:42,774
He misses you.
433
00:21:51,787 --> 00:21:53,790
Look, um...
434
00:21:55,793 --> 00:21:57,295
why don't we go over this later?
435
00:21:59,298 --> 00:22:01,301
You don't have to rush off because of me.
436
00:22:09,314 --> 00:22:10,315
I have to get to work.
437
00:22:19,829 --> 00:22:21,332
Would you get this shit away from me?
438
00:22:23,335 --> 00:22:24,837
It's my grandmother's recipe.
439
00:22:24,837 --> 00:22:26,340
He's majorly hung.
440
00:22:26,340 --> 00:22:28,343
And for once,
441
00:22:28,343 --> 00:22:30,346
He's not talking about my cock.
442
00:22:30,346 --> 00:22:33,351
Oh-H-H. Ssssh.
443
00:22:33,351 --> 00:22:34,352
It's okay, sonny-Boy,
444
00:22:34,352 --> 00:22:36,855
Your old man'll recover.
445
00:22:36,855 --> 00:22:38,857
He's not crying over you, he misses melanie.
446
00:22:38,857 --> 00:22:41,361
Well, you just had your chance. Why didn't you beg her to come back?
447
00:22:41,361 --> 00:22:42,863
Excuse me?
448
00:22:42,863 --> 00:22:43,864
She's the one who cheated.
449
00:22:44,366 --> 00:22:46,369
Well, maybe she had reason.
450
00:22:46,869 --> 00:22:50,375
So, now you're taking her side? Huh, that's amusing,
451
00:22:50,875 --> 00:22:54,381
After all the years you spent hating her, humiliating her,
452
00:22:54,381 --> 00:22:56,884
Trying to force her out of our lives every chance you got.
453
00:22:56,884 --> 00:22:59,389
Well, congratulations, you finally got what you wanted.
454
00:22:59,389 --> 00:23:00,390
Yeah, that's right,
455
00:23:00,390 --> 00:23:01,892
Blame me.
456
00:23:01,892 --> 00:23:02,894
Why not?
457
00:23:03,895 --> 00:23:04,897
Everybody else does.
458
00:23:06,900 --> 00:23:08,903
Well, maybe you finally got what you wanted.
459
00:23:08,903 --> 00:23:10,406
Look,
460
00:23:10,406 --> 00:23:13,410
I'm going to have to go back to work sooner than i thought,
461
00:23:13,410 --> 00:23:15,412
Which means i'll need a sitter.
462
00:23:15,412 --> 00:23:17,415
I'll do it. I'm great with gus.
463
00:23:17,916 --> 00:23:20,420
Oh, i'm sure. Only i need someone full-Time.
464
00:23:20,420 --> 00:23:21,422
Hmm.
465
00:23:23,925 --> 00:23:25,928
Justin, will you get my cheque book?
466
00:23:29,934 --> 00:23:30,936
Are you sure?
467
00:23:31,437 --> 00:23:32,439
I mean, with what's going on...
468
00:23:32,439 --> 00:23:33,440
it's not a problem.
469
00:23:34,942 --> 00:23:37,445
I said i'd look after you and gus, and i am.
470
00:23:47,961 --> 00:23:48,962
Thanks. Yeah.
471
00:23:51,967 --> 00:23:53,470
Hey-Y-Y-Yuh.
472
00:23:54,972 --> 00:23:56,473
What?
473
00:23:56,473 --> 00:23:58,477
I know i smell bad.
474
00:23:58,477 --> 00:23:59,478
It's vodka.
475
00:24:05,487 --> 00:24:07,490
Something wrong? No. Not at all.
476
00:24:09,493 --> 00:24:11,497
Except, could you keep the elephants from running up and down the stairs?
477
00:24:12,998 --> 00:24:14,000
Excuse me?
478
00:24:14,501 --> 00:24:16,003
Nothing.
479
00:24:16,003 --> 00:24:17,506
You got in at 3:00 last night.
480
00:24:17,506 --> 00:24:19,008
I did?
481
00:24:19,509 --> 00:24:21,512
Your mother must've been really sick.
482
00:24:23,014 --> 00:24:25,017
Yeah, well you know those flu-Cough...
483
00:24:25,017 --> 00:24:26,520
fever-Cold kind of things?
484
00:24:28,021 --> 00:24:30,024
Michael, i know she wasn't sick
485
00:24:30,024 --> 00:24:32,028
'Cause i went over there to find you.
486
00:24:32,028 --> 00:24:34,030
Oh, shit. And then...
487
00:24:34,030 --> 00:24:36,032
i caught the late show at woody's.
488
00:24:37,535 --> 00:24:39,036
Double shit.
489
00:24:39,036 --> 00:24:41,039
You know, you and brian play pretty well together.
490
00:24:41,039 --> 00:24:43,544
The two of you... well i... of course i shouldn't be surprised.
491
00:24:43,544 --> 00:24:46,548
I told you, brian's going through a really tough time right now.
492
00:24:46,548 --> 00:24:48,551
Yeah, and i told you something too.
493
00:24:48,551 --> 00:24:50,053
So if this is the way it's going to be,
494
00:24:50,053 --> 00:24:52,056
You lying to me so that you can be with him...
495
00:24:53,559 --> 00:24:55,562
i think we better rethink things.
496
00:25:04,075 --> 00:25:06,579
What the fuck's the matter with you,
497
00:25:06,579 --> 00:25:08,582
Lying to david, telling him i was sick?
498
00:25:08,582 --> 00:25:10,084
I didn't know what to say.
499
00:25:10,585 --> 00:25:12,087
And that was a first. Shut up.
500
00:25:12,588 --> 00:25:14,090
All right, i made a mistake.
501
00:25:14,090 --> 00:25:16,594
You're damn right you did. And you keep this up,
502
00:25:16,594 --> 00:25:17,595
You're going to blow it, you hear me?
503
00:25:17,595 --> 00:25:20,098
I already said i was wrong, okay?
504
00:25:20,098 --> 00:25:23,103
If you want to torture someone, go to the "s and m" bar across the street.
505
00:25:25,106 --> 00:25:27,109
What's with you guys, anyway?
506
00:25:27,109 --> 00:25:29,614
This is supposed to be a gay bar, remember?
507
00:25:31,616 --> 00:25:33,619
I saw emmett last night, with this woman.
508
00:25:36,623 --> 00:25:38,626
At least that's how she purported to represent herself.
509
00:25:38,626 --> 00:25:40,629
He really is going straight.
510
00:25:40,629 --> 00:25:42,131
And so are we.
511
00:25:42,131 --> 00:25:44,636
Straight to hell, according to them.
512
00:25:44,636 --> 00:25:46,639
Yeah, but doesn't he know that every reputable
513
00:25:46,639 --> 00:25:49,643
Psychological study done within the past 25 years
514
00:25:49,643 --> 00:25:52,147
Emphatically states that a person's sexual orientation
515
00:25:52,147 --> 00:25:53,649
Is determined by age of six,
516
00:25:53,649 --> 00:25:55,653
Sometimes even before birth,
517
00:25:55,653 --> 00:25:57,153
And it's completely unalterable?
518
00:25:57,153 --> 00:25:58,656
You tell 'em, sunshine.
519
00:25:58,656 --> 00:26:01,661
A leopard can't change his stripes.
520
00:26:01,661 --> 00:26:03,664
Either can a queer.
521
00:26:03,664 --> 00:26:04,665
You know,
522
00:26:04,665 --> 00:26:06,167
It's a nasty world out there.
523
00:26:06,668 --> 00:26:10,675
So, if emmett hasn't got the guts to be gay,
524
00:26:11,175 --> 00:26:12,678
Then i say fuck him.
525
00:26:13,178 --> 00:26:14,681
You know, he's still our friend.
526
00:26:16,684 --> 00:26:18,186
I just can't let him go that easily.
527
00:26:19,688 --> 00:26:21,190
Can i get a stoli on the rocks?
528
00:26:43,222 --> 00:26:45,726
Haven't i seen you before?
529
00:26:45,726 --> 00:26:47,228
That's original.
530
00:26:47,730 --> 00:26:49,231
And the answer is, "no, i don't think so."
531
00:26:50,734 --> 00:26:53,739
No. It was the other night, at babylon.
532
00:26:55,241 --> 00:26:55,742
I remember you.
533
00:26:57,244 --> 00:26:59,748
Well, i don't remember you.
534
00:27:14,771 --> 00:27:16,273
Working late, doc?
535
00:27:18,275 --> 00:27:19,778
Catching up on some paperwork.
536
00:27:22,281 --> 00:27:25,286
So i hear you have a problem.
537
00:27:25,286 --> 00:27:29,291
Yeah, i've got this pain in my ass.
538
00:27:29,792 --> 00:27:31,294
Maybe it's from over-Exertion.
539
00:27:31,294 --> 00:27:33,297
Maybe it's you.
540
00:27:33,297 --> 00:27:36,302
So how can i help alleviate your condition?
541
00:27:36,302 --> 00:27:37,805
You can lay off mikey.
542
00:27:38,305 --> 00:27:39,306
Well, my prescription for that
543
00:27:39,808 --> 00:27:41,309
Would be for you to mind your own business.
544
00:27:41,309 --> 00:27:43,312
He is my business.
545
00:27:43,312 --> 00:27:45,817
And he's going to be my business, long after you're gone.
546
00:27:46,317 --> 00:27:48,320
I'm not going anywhere.
547
00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:51,325
Although i did hear that you may be on your way out.
548
00:27:51,325 --> 00:27:52,828
Who told you that?
549
00:27:52,828 --> 00:27:54,831
Practically everyone,
550
00:27:56,332 --> 00:27:58,335
Although that's not our concern.
551
00:27:58,335 --> 00:28:00,338
Your better half thinks differently.
552
00:28:00,338 --> 00:28:02,842
I told my "better half" to stay out of it.
553
00:28:02,842 --> 00:28:04,344
By forbidding him to see me?
554
00:28:05,847 --> 00:28:07,348
You know,
555
00:28:07,348 --> 00:28:08,851
That's not how you're going to keep him.
556
00:28:10,353 --> 00:28:11,856
That's how you're going to lose him.
557
00:28:17,364 --> 00:28:18,867
You know, doc,
558
00:28:18,867 --> 00:28:20,870
You are good.
559
00:28:21,370 --> 00:28:23,373
That pain i was having is...
560
00:28:23,873 --> 00:28:25,876
feeling better already.
561
00:28:54,419 --> 00:28:55,922
Feel anything?
562
00:28:55,922 --> 00:28:58,926
A numb, tingling sensation.
563
00:28:59,426 --> 00:29:01,429
But, uh, then i realized my... my leg's asleep.
564
00:29:01,931 --> 00:29:03,433
Oh-H.
565
00:29:03,934 --> 00:29:05,436
How about you?
566
00:29:05,436 --> 00:29:07,940
Um, just a queasiness in my stomach,
567
00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:09,943
Like when you eat a bad clam.
568
00:29:13,448 --> 00:29:15,952
Look, we... we don't have to do this.
569
00:29:16,453 --> 00:29:17,955
No! I want a success story.
570
00:29:17,955 --> 00:29:19,957
Oh, so do i.
571
00:29:19,957 --> 00:29:21,960
Uh, maybe if we, um...
572
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:23,461
maybe if we fantasized.
573
00:29:23,963 --> 00:29:26,466
You know, y-You... you think about the perfect man,
574
00:29:26,466 --> 00:29:29,972
And i-I'll think about the perfect woman.
575
00:29:29,972 --> 00:29:32,475
It's a crutch, but... if it helps us walk...
576
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:03,522
well?
577
00:30:05,525 --> 00:30:06,527
Keep trying.
578
00:30:44,583 --> 00:30:46,086
And?
579
00:30:46,586 --> 00:30:48,089
I think i'm starting to feel something.
580
00:30:48,089 --> 00:30:49,090
Me too.
581
00:31:05,115 --> 00:31:07,118
Hey!
582
00:31:07,118 --> 00:31:08,620
Aw, it's you again.
583
00:31:08,620 --> 00:31:10,623
You don't give up, do you?
584
00:31:10,623 --> 00:31:11,625
You want me to?
585
00:31:13,628 --> 00:31:16,132
Did you really see me before?
586
00:31:16,132 --> 00:31:18,634
Sure. You were with that guy, brian.
587
00:31:20,136 --> 00:31:21,638
How do you know him?
588
00:31:21,638 --> 00:31:25,144
Everyone knows brian kinney.
589
00:31:25,144 --> 00:31:26,646
He's a real asshole.
590
00:31:28,148 --> 00:31:30,652
Oh, really? Yeah.
591
00:31:30,652 --> 00:31:32,155
He's always coming on to you,
592
00:31:32,155 --> 00:31:34,158
Acting like he likes you.
593
00:31:34,658 --> 00:31:36,161
Really all he cares about is getting laid.
594
00:31:36,661 --> 00:31:38,164
How do you know?
595
00:31:38,164 --> 00:31:39,165
Did he break your heart?
596
00:31:41,168 --> 00:31:42,670
Fuck no!
597
00:31:42,670 --> 00:31:44,173
I'd never fall for his shit.
598
00:31:46,176 --> 00:31:49,181
Besides, he's not my type.
599
00:31:51,184 --> 00:31:52,185
Is he yours?
600
00:31:53,687 --> 00:31:55,190
Are you kidding?
601
00:31:57,693 --> 00:31:59,196
So what is your type?
602
00:32:19,225 --> 00:32:21,728
You can do it. You can do it.
603
00:32:21,728 --> 00:32:23,231
You can do it!
604
00:33:05,795 --> 00:33:06,796
So...
605
00:33:08,299 --> 00:33:09,301
how was it for you?
606
00:33:09,301 --> 00:33:10,803
Y-You know, i didn't hate it.
607
00:33:10,803 --> 00:33:13,306
Oh? You?
608
00:33:13,806 --> 00:33:15,809
It wasn't nearly as disgusting as i thought it would be.
609
00:33:15,809 --> 00:33:17,812
Hey! Yeah.
610
00:33:21,317 --> 00:33:23,320
The fantasies really helped.
611
00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:24,322
Yeah.
612
00:33:25,824 --> 00:33:27,327
Who'd you use?
613
00:33:27,327 --> 00:33:30,331
Jodie foster, "anna and the king".
614
00:33:30,331 --> 00:33:31,333
Ah. You?
615
00:33:33,336 --> 00:33:36,340
Uh, matthew mcconaughey in "a time to kill".
616
00:33:36,841 --> 00:33:38,844
Mmm. Too bad we didn't use "contact",
617
00:33:38,844 --> 00:33:40,347
We could've been in the same movie.
618
00:33:40,347 --> 00:33:41,848
Yeah.
619
00:33:46,356 --> 00:33:49,360
Well, we... we have our success story.
620
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:50,862
Yay us. Huh.
621
00:34:01,878 --> 00:34:03,881
You're one hot little fucker.
622
00:34:03,881 --> 00:34:05,384
You're pretty hot yourself.
623
00:34:07,887 --> 00:34:09,889
O-Oh, yeah.
624
00:34:09,889 --> 00:34:11,392
Go on, lick it.
625
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:17,401
That's it.
626
00:34:20,906 --> 00:34:22,909
You're hotter than the guy i had last week.
627
00:34:24,412 --> 00:34:26,415
Is that so? Mmm-Hmm.
628
00:34:26,415 --> 00:34:28,418
He wanted to put me in short pants and spank me.
629
00:34:28,919 --> 00:34:30,421
I want to do a lot more than that.
630
00:34:31,923 --> 00:34:32,925
Like what?
631
00:34:33,926 --> 00:34:35,929
Like how about i show you?
632
00:34:52,454 --> 00:34:54,457
Hey, you better hurry, though.
633
00:34:56,961 --> 00:34:58,964
What's the rush?
634
00:34:58,964 --> 00:35:01,968
I've got a stupid curfew if you can believe it.
635
00:35:01,968 --> 00:35:03,471
My parents want me home by midnight.
636
00:35:05,474 --> 00:35:07,977
You... you live with your parents?
637
00:35:07,977 --> 00:35:09,479
Where else would i live?
638
00:35:09,479 --> 00:35:10,481
I'm 17.
639
00:35:13,486 --> 00:35:14,487
You're 17?
640
00:35:15,989 --> 00:35:18,994
So, how do you get into bars?
641
00:35:18,994 --> 00:35:21,498
Duh! Like a fake i.D.
642
00:35:22,999 --> 00:35:24,000
I don't tell my dad though.
643
00:35:24,502 --> 00:35:26,505
He goes totally psycho.
644
00:35:26,505 --> 00:35:29,008
Like he did when he found out i was gay.
645
00:35:29,008 --> 00:35:33,014
Mmm, your... your dad went psycho?
646
00:35:33,014 --> 00:35:35,518
He went after the guy i was fucking at the time.
647
00:35:35,518 --> 00:35:37,020
Turned him in to the police.
648
00:35:38,523 --> 00:35:40,025
Uh, the police?
649
00:35:40,025 --> 00:35:41,026
He'll be out in 10 years.
650
00:35:47,537 --> 00:35:49,039
If he knew i was here...
651
00:35:51,543 --> 00:35:52,545
now, how would he know?
652
00:35:54,046 --> 00:35:56,050
Oh. There's no way.
653
00:35:58,053 --> 00:35:59,054
Unless i told him.
654
00:36:01,057 --> 00:36:04,061
But you wouldn't do that, would you?
655
00:36:05,563 --> 00:36:06,564
Of course not.
656
00:36:09,569 --> 00:36:11,572
I would never do anything like that.
657
00:36:14,075 --> 00:36:16,078
Provided you do something for me.
658
00:36:18,081 --> 00:36:20,084
Remember, let me do the talking.
659
00:36:20,084 --> 00:36:22,589
Yeah. You always do.
660
00:36:22,589 --> 00:36:25,092
And when the investigator from h.R. Asks you something,
661
00:36:25,092 --> 00:36:27,095
Confer with me first. I got it.
662
00:36:34,106 --> 00:36:35,609
Listen, however this plays out...
663
00:36:37,111 --> 00:36:38,112
thanks.
664
00:36:40,115 --> 00:36:41,618
You didn't have to help me. You could have said "fuck you".
665
00:36:42,619 --> 00:36:43,620
I know.
666
00:36:48,127 --> 00:36:49,629
Here you are, i was looking for you.
667
00:36:49,629 --> 00:36:50,631
This is, uh...
668
00:36:51,131 --> 00:36:52,133
morty ryder, my boss.
669
00:36:52,133 --> 00:36:54,136
This is melanie marcus, my attorney.
670
00:36:54,136 --> 00:36:56,139
Nice to meet you.
671
00:36:56,139 --> 00:36:58,643
Look liberty air was just awarded a new route into la guardia.
672
00:36:58,643 --> 00:37:01,147
They're taking on the majors in the northeast.
673
00:37:01,147 --> 00:37:02,648
So?
674
00:37:03,149 --> 00:37:05,152
So, they want to go national with your campaign.
675
00:37:05,152 --> 00:37:07,155
You've got a lot of work to do.
676
00:37:07,155 --> 00:37:08,658
What about the hearing?
677
00:37:08,658 --> 00:37:11,161
Forget about the hearing. That matter's been dropped.
678
00:37:11,161 --> 00:37:12,162
Dropped?
679
00:37:12,162 --> 00:37:13,665
What happened?
680
00:37:13,665 --> 00:37:15,668
Damned if i know, and who the hell cares?
681
00:37:15,668 --> 00:37:17,170
Be in my office in five minutes.
682
00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:25,181
Un-Fucking-Believable.
683
00:37:26,183 --> 00:37:29,188
Jesus! What are you, mr. Teflon?
684
00:37:29,188 --> 00:37:31,692
Shit just never sticks to you.
685
00:37:40,706 --> 00:37:42,208
I don't know how to... like, you or emmett,
686
00:37:42,208 --> 00:37:44,712
But you might like to join a bowling league.
687
00:37:44,712 --> 00:37:45,714
Just the guys.
688
00:37:46,715 --> 00:37:48,217
Oh, look, there he is.
689
00:37:53,225 --> 00:37:54,727
You know, maybe this wasn't such a good idea.
690
00:37:55,228 --> 00:37:56,730
Let's just get out of here.
691
00:38:00,736 --> 00:38:03,238
Well, this is a surprise.
692
00:38:04,741 --> 00:38:06,744
Welcome to "see the light".
693
00:38:06,744 --> 00:38:08,246
The way some of these people dress,
694
00:38:08,246 --> 00:38:09,748
They should change it to "turn off the light".
695
00:38:12,753 --> 00:38:14,756
So what is this, like, an intervention?
696
00:38:14,756 --> 00:38:17,259
You're going to kidnap me and throw me in the back of a van?
697
00:38:17,259 --> 00:38:19,263
I'll tell you right now, i'm not getting in any van.
698
00:38:19,764 --> 00:38:20,765
There's no van.
699
00:38:20,765 --> 00:38:22,768
I don't get a van?
700
00:38:22,768 --> 00:38:24,772
You'd think, at the very least, you could rent a van.
701
00:38:24,772 --> 00:38:27,275
Look, it's just us, okay?
702
00:38:27,776 --> 00:38:28,778
And we came here to...
703
00:38:32,784 --> 00:38:34,787
i don't know why the fuck we're here but, you know...
704
00:38:34,787 --> 00:38:36,790
Emmett, we... we tried talking to you,
705
00:38:36,790 --> 00:38:38,793
We tried reasoning with you.
706
00:38:38,793 --> 00:38:41,296
We sent a porn star.
707
00:38:41,296 --> 00:38:43,299
$1,000. It's okay. Just let it go. I know.
708
00:38:45,803 --> 00:38:47,305
Come on, everyone, let's, uh,
709
00:38:47,305 --> 00:38:49,308
Form our circle of light, hmm?
710
00:38:49,809 --> 00:38:51,812
We just...
711
00:38:52,312 --> 00:38:53,815
we wanted to let you know that we still love you.
712
00:38:55,317 --> 00:38:57,320
Maybe not as much as jesus,
713
00:38:57,320 --> 00:38:58,321
But...
714
00:38:59,322 --> 00:39:00,324
almost.
715
00:39:02,828 --> 00:39:05,331
And that we're going to miss you.
716
00:39:05,331 --> 00:39:07,836
Especially miss the way you dance with your hands over your head,
717
00:39:07,836 --> 00:39:10,339
And your liza impersonation. That's...
718
00:39:10,339 --> 00:39:12,843
that's the way i'll always remember you.
719
00:39:12,843 --> 00:39:14,846
Thanks.
720
00:39:15,347 --> 00:39:17,851
I don't think god appreciates it quite as much as you do.
721
00:39:17,851 --> 00:39:19,854
Oh, i think god appreciates it even more...
722
00:39:22,859 --> 00:39:25,862
because he created you in his image.
723
00:39:25,862 --> 00:39:27,865
At least that's what i was always taught.
724
00:39:29,367 --> 00:39:31,370
And since god is love and...
725
00:39:31,370 --> 00:39:33,373
god doesn't make mistakes, then...
726
00:39:33,373 --> 00:39:34,876
you must be exactly...
727
00:39:35,878 --> 00:39:37,881
the way he wants you to be,
728
00:39:37,881 --> 00:39:39,884
The way he intended you to be.
729
00:39:41,887 --> 00:39:44,390
And that goes for every person, every...
730
00:39:45,893 --> 00:39:47,395
planet, every mountain, every...
731
00:39:48,898 --> 00:39:50,901
grain of sand, every song...
732
00:39:53,404 --> 00:39:54,406
every tear...
733
00:39:57,409 --> 00:39:58,912
and every faggot.
734
00:40:03,419 --> 00:40:05,922
We're all his, emmett.
735
00:40:09,427 --> 00:40:10,428
He loves us all.
736
00:40:18,441 --> 00:40:19,442
Goodbye, em.
737
00:40:39,473 --> 00:40:40,976
We're about to get started.
738
00:40:54,494 --> 00:40:56,497
I always feel like it's rejuvenated,
739
00:40:56,998 --> 00:40:57,499
It's a new week.
740
00:41:01,505 --> 00:41:04,009
Come into our circle of light, hmm?
741
00:41:06,513 --> 00:41:10,018
We like to start every meeting with a success story.
742
00:41:12,021 --> 00:41:17,529
And tonight i just feel that emmett and heather
743
00:41:17,529 --> 00:41:19,533
Have a success story,
744
00:41:19,533 --> 00:41:21,536
Don't you? Hmmm? Great! Let's hear it.
745
00:41:33,553 --> 00:41:36,558
You've got to be careful with those, huh?
746
00:41:36,558 --> 00:41:39,562
Yeah, they're pretty valuable, so you got to protect them from the light.
747
00:41:47,074 --> 00:41:49,077
Uh, you must be still mad at me, huh?
748
00:41:52,581 --> 00:41:54,084
No.
749
00:41:54,584 --> 00:41:55,586
I'm not mad at you.
750
00:41:59,092 --> 00:42:01,595
Well, i want you to know that i'm sorry that i lied.
751
00:42:02,597 --> 00:42:04,099
I'm sorry too.
752
00:42:07,103 --> 00:42:10,108
I... sometimes i get, uh...
753
00:42:11,610 --> 00:42:14,114
i guess i-I just get a little worked up
754
00:42:14,114 --> 00:42:15,616
Over, uh...
755
00:42:15,616 --> 00:42:16,617
brian?
756
00:42:17,619 --> 00:42:18,620
Over brian.
757
00:42:23,628 --> 00:42:25,631
I've known him practically my entire life.
758
00:42:26,132 --> 00:42:28,135
I... i can't just stop seeing him.
759
00:42:28,135 --> 00:42:29,137
You shouldn't have to.
760
00:42:32,142 --> 00:42:34,145
You should feel free to see whoever you want to see.
761
00:42:35,646 --> 00:42:37,149
After all, this is a relationship,
762
00:42:37,149 --> 00:42:39,653
It's not a maximum security lock-Up.
763
00:42:51,669 --> 00:42:54,674
So you and brian getting the band back together?
764
00:42:55,175 --> 00:42:57,678
No, i'm think the backstreet boys have usurped our former glory.
765
00:42:59,681 --> 00:43:00,683
Hey.
766
00:43:02,186 --> 00:43:03,187
You want to go out tonight?
767
00:43:03,688 --> 00:43:05,190
Well, sure.
768
00:43:05,190 --> 00:43:06,192
You go.
769
00:43:06,692 --> 00:43:09,197
Well, what about you? No.
770
00:43:09,197 --> 00:43:11,700
I'm not in the mood. I'll stay here.
771
00:43:11,700 --> 00:43:13,703
You go. You dance.
772
00:43:13,703 --> 00:43:15,206
And you torture all those boys
773
00:43:15,206 --> 00:43:18,210
With your sculpted torso.
774
00:43:18,210 --> 00:43:19,712
And then you come home to me.
775
00:43:24,220 --> 00:43:25,221
I think i have a better idea.
776
00:44:23,808 --> 00:44:26,812
A cosmopolitan. How cosmopolitan.
777
00:44:28,815 --> 00:44:31,320
Emmett used to say, "in pittsburgh,
778
00:44:31,820 --> 00:44:32,821
It's as close as you can get."
779
00:44:35,326 --> 00:44:37,329
I know how much you're going to miss him.
780
00:44:39,832 --> 00:44:42,337
Actually, you don't...
781
00:44:42,337 --> 00:44:45,841
but, uh, i appreciate the sentiment.
782
00:44:45,841 --> 00:44:47,342
How about a dance?
783
00:44:48,844 --> 00:44:50,847
Nah, it'd just remind me of him.
784
00:44:50,847 --> 00:44:52,350
Another drink?
785
00:44:52,350 --> 00:44:53,852
I'd start to cry.
786
00:44:58,860 --> 00:45:00,362
You're losing your shirt.
787
00:45:01,364 --> 00:45:04,869
You almost lost yours. Ah, yeah.
788
00:45:04,869 --> 00:45:06,872
I still have no idea why he dropped the suit.
789
00:45:08,875 --> 00:45:09,376
It's a mystery.
790
00:45:10,878 --> 00:45:13,883
I guess i'll just have to be more careful who i fuck.
791
00:45:15,385 --> 00:45:19,392
Lucky for you, i turn 18
tomorrow.
792
00:45:19,392 --> 00:45:20,893
What do you want for your birthday?
793
00:45:25,901 --> 00:45:28,905
What about a nice, stiff dick?
794
00:45:31,909 --> 00:45:34,914
Now you're starting to sound like him.
795
00:45:34,914 --> 00:45:36,917
I'll always remember how he used to say,
796
00:45:36,917 --> 00:45:39,421
"It's just not sex without...
797
00:45:39,421 --> 00:45:40,923
without something up your butt.
798
00:45:43,426 --> 00:45:45,430
Oh no, now you've come to babylon to proselytize.
799
00:45:45,430 --> 00:45:46,931
That's not why we're here.
800
00:45:46,931 --> 00:45:49,436
We've seen the light.
801
00:45:49,436 --> 00:45:50,437
We know! We know!
802
00:45:51,939 --> 00:45:53,442
A different light.
803
00:45:53,442 --> 00:45:55,445
What about your success story?
804
00:45:55,445 --> 00:45:56,947
Oh, we're a success story.
805
00:45:56,947 --> 00:46:00,453
Oh? We shared it with the group.
806
00:46:00,453 --> 00:46:03,457
Mmm-Hmmm. I told them,
807
00:46:03,457 --> 00:46:06,462
Some of us are meant to eat pussy,
808
00:46:06,462 --> 00:46:08,464
And some of us are meant to suck cock.
809
00:46:09,966 --> 00:46:11,469
But either way...
810
00:46:11,969 --> 00:46:12,970
god loves us.
811
00:46:14,473 --> 00:46:17,478
They agreed that god loves us. Mmmm.
812
00:46:17,478 --> 00:46:19,481
And then they told us to get the fuck out.
813
00:46:21,984 --> 00:46:23,487
Then you're really back?
814
00:46:23,487 --> 00:46:25,490
Honey, my flame has been rekindled,
815
00:46:25,490 --> 00:46:27,493
And is burning brighter than ever.
816
00:46:28,995 --> 00:46:29,496
Mmm-Wah!
817
00:46:35,004 --> 00:46:37,007
Oh! Oh, sorry.
818
00:46:37,509 --> 00:46:39,010
Sorry. I'm not.
819
00:46:50,025 --> 00:46:51,027
Come on, you.
820
00:47:03,547 --> 00:47:07,051
Ah-H! Do you feel that gay thump-Thump?
821
00:47:08,053 --> 00:47:09,556
God, i missed that!
822
00:47:09,606 --> 00:47:14,156
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