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1
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Ted schmidt.
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Brian.
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Brian who?
4
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Brian whodo-You-Think?
5
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That's who. Oh.
6
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I didn't recognize your voice.
7
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You know, i don't think you've ever called me.
8
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Well, today's your lucky day.
9
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I'm not talking to you, remember?
10
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Yeah, right. Uh, so what are you doing tonight?
11
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I haven't thought about it.
12
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Well, think about it and decide
13
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If you want to hang out.
14
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With you?
15
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You sound surprised.
16
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Uh, no. Surprised would be if i won the lottery.
17
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Or if an asteroid hit the earth,
18
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Or if richard simmons was straight.
19
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No, try dumbstruck.
20
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So you're not busy?
21
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Do you have to ask?
22
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Woody's. After work.
23
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He wants me to meet him at woody's...
24
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to hang out.
25
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God, he must really be desperate.
26
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Uh, i didn't mean it like that. Ah.
27
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Now that he and michael are no longer friends,
28
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My guess is is that he needs somebody new to take for granted.
29
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So, naturally, he thought of me.
30
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You're not actually considering going, are you?
31
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Well, maybe i can resolve the great michael conflict,
32
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And win the nobel peace prize
33
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And score with one of brian's rejects.
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49... 50.
35
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God, i hate my abs.
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I love your abs.
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I mean you.
38
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He means you.
39
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You're emmett, right? Right.
40
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You work at torso, right? Right.
41
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And your dentist is dr. Feldman, right?
42
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Right, how do you know who my dentist is?
43
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I was in his office last week. I had the appointment right after you.
44
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And by the way, i love the space between your teeth.
45
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I'm beau.
46
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That's french for "beautiful". I know.
47
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And i've always thought you were kind of, uh, cute.
48
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You have? Yeah.
49
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And i was wondering, maybe you'd like to go out sometime.
50
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As if you need to ask.
51
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I'd love to. As if he'd say no.
52
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Only i can't.
53
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What?
54
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I-I can't.
55
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But thanks for asking.
56
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Maybe some other time, then.
57
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Are you out of your mind?
58
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Guys like us do not turn down guys like him.
59
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You have acted in flagrant violation
60
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Of the entire gay social structure.
61
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They're going to vote you out of the brotherhood.
62
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Let 'em. I made a promise to god, remember?
63
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That if i tested negative... i know,
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You'd never have sex with another man, i know.
65
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But you're fine!
66
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It doesn't matter.
67
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I never want to go through the hell
68
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That i went through again, and i won't.
69
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Because someone kept his part of the bargain.
70
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Now it's my turn to keep mine.
71
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Hey.
72
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I didn't hear you come in.
73
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Oh-H, shh, i just put gus to bed.
74
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It's too late to see him then, huh?
75
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Oh, you can see him in the morning.
76
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He's asleep when i leave.
77
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Well, maybe you could leave later, or even take the afternoon off.
78
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The point of my working longer days
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Is so you can stay home.
80
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I appreciate how hard you work.
81
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It would be nice if you showed it.
82
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I thought i did.
83
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And, uh, i'm working too.
84
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Taking care of our son.
85
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Your son and brian's. I just pay the bills.
86
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Oh, are we really going to go through this again?
87
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Naw, let's pretend everything's fine.
88
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I didn't say everything's fine.
89
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I just don't feel we need to constantly talk about it.
90
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Well, i'm jewish and after neo-Nazis
91
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There's nothing the jews fear more than silence.
92
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Well i'm not like that.
93
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I don't have the need to constantly express
94
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Everything that i'm feeling.
95
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I wish you'd try.
96
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Because after that fiasco at brian's
97
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You've turned off to me physically, emotionally...
98
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as usual, you're catastrophizing,
99
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Turning every little slight into a rejection.
100
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You never want to make love,
101
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You barely want to have a discussion.
102
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Has it ever occurred to you that i might be tired?
103
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Well, i'm tired, too.
104
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I'm tired of trying to get through to you,
105
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Of figuring out what the hell i did wrong,
106
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Of wondering why instead of feeling closer than we've ever been,
107
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I have never felt more alone.
108
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Oh.
109
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Aren't you going to say anything?
110
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What would you like for dinner?
111
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I can heat up some pot roast.
112
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So, how was work?
113
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Fat marley had this really incredible hickey.
114
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And there was a sale on protein powder,
115
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So every queen in the city was there,
116
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Except for you, of course.
117
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Boring.
118
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Work was boring.
119
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How about you?
120
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Don't tell me. You took the client
121
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To this really fancy restaurant for lunch,
122
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And there was this really hot waiter and he...
123
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he signalled for you to meet him in the linen closet
124
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And he gave you this amazing blow job,
125
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And then you went back to the table
126
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And the client never knew.
127
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How'd you guess?
128
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I asked you about work.
129
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Uh, i took a client to lunch
130
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And the waiter blew me in the linen closet.
131
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Really?
132
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Liar! You're such a liar.
133
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So, have you talked to him?
134
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Who?
135
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Michael.
136
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What for?
137
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Oh, for no other reason than he's your best friend.
138
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Wasmy best friend.
139
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Why don't you just call him?
140
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I told you.
141
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He's out of my life and i'm out of his.
142
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So would you please shut the fuck up about it?
143
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Hey.
144
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How's it going?
145
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I'm not interested.
146
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However, uh, i am available
147
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For safe sex and estate planning.
148
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Actually, i do have some investment questions.
149
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Well, i tell you what.
150
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You help me diversify my portfolio,
151
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I'll help diversify yours.
152
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That's the last one.
153
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You're sure?
154
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Well, yeah, for the most part.
155
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I mean, i'm gonna go back
156
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And get the rest tomorrow.
157
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The rest?
158
00:10:22,161 --> 00:10:23,662
You got a lot of stuff.
159
00:10:23,662 --> 00:10:24,663
Well, you know, if i...
160
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find something i like, i hold on to it,
161
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You know, for keeps.
162
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I hope that applies to me, i hope that applies to me.
163
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I hope that applies to me. Especially to you.
164
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So where should i put it?
165
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Wherever you want, baby.
166
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I meant my stuff.
167
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You decide. It's our place now.
168
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Great.
169
00:10:48,691 --> 00:10:49,692
Um...
170
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but why don't you wait till tomorrow morning?
171
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'Cause i got plans for us tonight.
172
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Oh?
173
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Oh. Oh-H.
174
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So, you sure you're okay getting home?
175
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Yeah, i know the way.
176
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Right.
177
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I'm so lucky.
178
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Why is that?
179
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Well, normally about this time
180
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I'd be coming out of woody's,
181
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Waiting in the jeep for brian
182
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To finish getting a blow job
183
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So i could drive him home.
184
00:13:47,391 --> 00:13:48,893
And instead?
185
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And instead i'm here, with you.
186
00:13:56,901 --> 00:13:58,403
I'm lucky too.
187
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I love you, michael.
188
00:14:13,921 --> 00:14:14,922
Mikey?
189
00:14:30,439 --> 00:14:32,442
Hey, sleepyhead.
190
00:14:32,442 --> 00:14:34,944
What are you doing up so early?
191
00:14:34,944 --> 00:14:37,947
Well, i couldn't wait to unpack my stuff.
192
00:14:37,947 --> 00:14:38,948
So what do you think?
193
00:14:45,456 --> 00:14:46,457
It... it's, uh...
194
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it's great.
195
00:14:51,463 --> 00:14:53,966
I... i especially like the, um...
196
00:14:53,966 --> 00:14:56,469
Where you've... the, uh, the putting of,
197
00:14:56,469 --> 00:14:57,970
What's his name?
198
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Captain astro.
199
00:15:00,473 --> 00:15:03,477
Yeah, i wasn't sure how you were going to feel about that.
200
00:15:03,477 --> 00:15:04,978
Oh, it adds a real...
201
00:15:04,978 --> 00:15:07,981
uh, whimsical touch.
202
00:15:09,483 --> 00:15:11,485
I'm still not sure where to put my toy robots.
203
00:15:13,488 --> 00:15:15,490
Well, i'm sure you'll find the perfect place.
204
00:15:16,991 --> 00:15:18,993
Now come on, let's go back to bed. Bed?
205
00:15:18,993 --> 00:15:20,995
Some of us have to work.
206
00:15:20,995 --> 00:15:22,497
It's saturday.
207
00:15:22,997 --> 00:15:26,002
The big q never closes.
208
00:15:26,002 --> 00:15:28,004
I was kind of hoping we'd just kick back and watch the game.
209
00:15:30,507 --> 00:15:33,009
Well, i've never really been into watching the game.
210
00:15:35,012 --> 00:15:37,014
Or saturdays.
211
00:15:37,014 --> 00:15:38,516
You have something against saturdays?
212
00:15:40,017 --> 00:15:42,520
Well, that was the day that all the kids
213
00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:44,021
Did stuff with their dads.
214
00:15:44,522 --> 00:15:47,025
And... i didn't have one, so...
215
00:15:48,527 --> 00:15:50,529
i kinda dreaded saturdays.
216
00:15:55,033 --> 00:15:56,536
Well, i can promise you...
217
00:15:58,538 --> 00:16:00,039
only happy saturdays from now on.
218
00:16:08,550 --> 00:16:10,552
Another therapist?
219
00:16:10,552 --> 00:16:13,054
With that attitude we'll get a lot accomplished.
220
00:16:13,054 --> 00:16:14,556
But you're the one who's got a problem.
221
00:16:14,556 --> 00:16:15,557
And you don't?
222
00:16:15,557 --> 00:16:17,059
Only the one you're creating.
223
00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:20,563
Oh, christ! Am i living in this house alone?
224
00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:22,064
Maybe you'd be happier if you were.
225
00:16:25,568 --> 00:16:26,569
I'll get it.
226
00:16:29,072 --> 00:16:30,073
Meet my latest trick.
227
00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:33,577
Ha.
228
00:16:33,577 --> 00:16:35,078
I didn't know you were into bears.
229
00:16:35,078 --> 00:16:36,581
I thought you preferred the young, hairless,
230
00:16:37,081 --> 00:16:39,084
"Not admitted without a parent or guardian" type.
231
00:16:39,084 --> 00:16:40,085
Where's my son?
232
00:16:40,085 --> 00:16:42,588
Our son is taking a nap.
233
00:16:42,588 --> 00:16:45,090
Well, i thought i'd drop by for dinner.
234
00:16:45,090 --> 00:16:48,093
It's 2:00 o'clock in the afternoon.
235
00:16:48,093 --> 00:16:50,096
Then i'll just hang out. Hang out?
236
00:16:50,096 --> 00:16:51,598
Since when did you "hang out" with the likes of us?
237
00:16:52,098 --> 00:16:53,600
Since michael's no longer in the picture.
238
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,602
It's just as well.
239
00:16:55,602 --> 00:16:58,605
Mikey and i were holding on to each other for too long.
240
00:16:58,605 --> 00:17:00,608
I mean, when you think about it, what do we even have in common?
241
00:17:00,608 --> 00:17:01,609
Your lives.
242
00:17:03,110 --> 00:17:04,111
Aside from that.
243
00:17:06,113 --> 00:17:08,115
Anyways, it worked out for the best.
244
00:17:08,115 --> 00:17:11,119
Thanks to my divine intervention, he's with the good doctor now.
245
00:17:11,621 --> 00:17:12,121
Where he belongs.
246
00:17:13,623 --> 00:17:16,125
Look, i guess it's not too late.
247
00:17:16,125 --> 00:17:17,627
For what?
248
00:17:17,627 --> 00:17:19,128
To fix things.
249
00:17:19,128 --> 00:17:20,631
Some things are better left broken.
250
00:17:24,134 --> 00:17:27,137
So. What do you say we play a little scrabble?
251
00:17:30,140 --> 00:17:32,143
I got this off the internet,
252
00:17:32,143 --> 00:17:33,645
Wait'll you hear it.
253
00:17:33,645 --> 00:17:36,147
Ten ways to know if your husband's gay.
254
00:17:37,649 --> 00:17:39,651
Number one, at your wedding,
255
00:17:40,151 --> 00:17:42,655
He kisses the best man instead of you.
256
00:17:44,156 --> 00:17:45,658
Number two, for your birthday,
257
00:17:46,158 --> 00:17:47,661
He brings you flowers,
258
00:17:47,661 --> 00:17:49,162
And arranges them.
259
00:17:50,664 --> 00:17:51,665
Number three...
260
00:17:53,668 --> 00:17:54,669
what's the matter?
261
00:17:54,669 --> 00:17:56,170
You're not laughing.
262
00:17:56,170 --> 00:17:57,672
I don't think it's very funny, that's all.
263
00:17:59,173 --> 00:18:01,175
Well, i think it's a scream.
264
00:18:01,175 --> 00:18:02,176
Don't you, mike?
265
00:18:03,679 --> 00:18:05,180
Uh, i wasn't really listening.
266
00:18:10,686 --> 00:18:13,188
You're entitled to think whatever you want,
267
00:18:13,188 --> 00:18:14,691
And so am i.
268
00:18:14,691 --> 00:18:16,192
And what i think is that...
269
00:18:17,694 --> 00:18:19,195
people who laugh at jokes
270
00:18:19,195 --> 00:18:20,697
That make fun of other people,
271
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Whoever they are,
272
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:24,202
Are ignorant and cruel.
273
00:18:28,707 --> 00:18:29,708
What's her problem?
274
00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:41,220
Mr. Novotny?
275
00:18:42,722 --> 00:18:44,223
Yes, tracy?
276
00:18:44,223 --> 00:18:46,727
I wanted to give you something.
277
00:18:46,727 --> 00:18:48,228
What?
278
00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:49,229
Two weeks notice.
279
00:18:51,231 --> 00:18:53,233
I got a job at the big dollar mart.
280
00:18:55,736 --> 00:18:57,739
I should really get back, my break's over.
281
00:19:14,257 --> 00:19:15,258
I'm not interested.
282
00:19:17,762 --> 00:19:19,263
Brian, hey.
283
00:19:19,263 --> 00:19:20,765
How's it going?
284
00:19:20,765 --> 00:19:22,767
What do you want?
285
00:19:22,767 --> 00:19:24,769
To tell you what a great time we had last night.
286
00:19:24,769 --> 00:19:27,271
I was bored out of my fucking mind.
287
00:19:29,274 --> 00:19:30,776
Yeah, well, uh, you know
288
00:19:30,776 --> 00:19:32,277
That's the sign of true friendship.
289
00:19:32,277 --> 00:19:33,780
You know, that it can, uh, accommodate
290
00:19:33,780 --> 00:19:35,281
Vastly divergent points of view.
291
00:19:40,287 --> 00:19:41,288
I'm not interested.
292
00:19:46,794 --> 00:19:48,295
You know, uh, just out of curiosity,
293
00:19:48,295 --> 00:19:49,798
How many guys hit on you a night?
294
00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:53,301
Give or take, 112.
295
00:19:53,301 --> 00:19:54,803
I don't know.
296
00:19:54,803 --> 00:19:56,805
Amazing.
297
00:19:56,805 --> 00:19:57,806
And i only need one.
298
00:20:01,310 --> 00:20:03,312
I'm not... interested.
299
00:20:05,314 --> 00:20:07,316
Uh, excuse me. Um...
300
00:20:09,319 --> 00:20:10,321
you know, uh...
301
00:20:11,322 --> 00:20:13,825
tax season is coming up, and, uh...
302
00:20:13,825 --> 00:20:16,327
you don't want to get caught with your pants down.
303
00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:28,841
I'm matt.
304
00:20:29,842 --> 00:20:31,845
Of course you are.
305
00:20:32,345 --> 00:20:35,849
You're always matt, or scott,
306
00:20:35,849 --> 00:20:37,350
Or... or todd...
307
00:20:38,351 --> 00:20:39,853
or some other wonderful,
308
00:20:39,853 --> 00:20:41,354
One syllable name.
309
00:20:42,857 --> 00:20:43,858
I'd offer to buy you a drink,
310
00:20:43,858 --> 00:20:45,861
But something tells me you don't need another.
311
00:20:45,861 --> 00:20:47,362
Something tells me...
312
00:20:48,864 --> 00:20:49,865
you might be right.
313
00:20:52,869 --> 00:20:54,370
Now, if you'll excuse me,
314
00:20:54,871 --> 00:20:56,873
I'm going to go home.
315
00:20:56,873 --> 00:20:58,374
It's always nicer to vomit
316
00:20:58,374 --> 00:20:59,375
In your own toilet.
317
00:21:02,879 --> 00:21:04,381
Maybe i'd better give you a hand.
318
00:21:06,383 --> 00:21:07,885
Thank you.
319
00:21:07,885 --> 00:21:09,887
Maybe you're just reevaluating your life,
320
00:21:10,387 --> 00:21:11,388
Questioning your choices,
321
00:21:11,388 --> 00:21:14,392
Wondering if there's something better.
322
00:21:14,392 --> 00:21:15,894
Yeah.
323
00:21:15,894 --> 00:21:18,396
Yeah, that's it exactly.
324
00:21:18,396 --> 00:21:20,399
How'd you know?
325
00:21:20,399 --> 00:21:22,902
'Cause i've seen the light.
326
00:21:22,902 --> 00:21:24,403
And seeing how miserable you looked at the bar
327
00:21:24,905 --> 00:21:26,907
Made me think maybe you needed to see it too.
328
00:21:29,409 --> 00:21:30,911
What's this?
329
00:21:30,911 --> 00:21:31,912
A group i belong to.
330
00:21:33,413 --> 00:21:36,417
Hmm, i don't do very well in groups.
331
00:21:36,417 --> 00:21:38,419
I got thrown out of the cub scouts first week.
332
00:21:38,419 --> 00:21:41,422
I made a fabulous necklace out of slip knots.
333
00:21:41,422 --> 00:21:42,924
Everyone's welcome in this group.
334
00:21:42,924 --> 00:21:44,926
And it's all people like us.
335
00:21:44,926 --> 00:21:46,428
Like us?
336
00:21:46,428 --> 00:21:48,430
People who are questioning and evaluating.
337
00:21:49,932 --> 00:21:52,434
Why don't you come to one of our meetings?
338
00:21:52,434 --> 00:21:53,936
All you've got to lose is your pain.
339
00:22:06,951 --> 00:22:08,954
You make a lot of tips.
340
00:22:08,954 --> 00:22:10,455
That's 'cause i'm cute.
341
00:22:10,455 --> 00:22:12,457
Yeah, and conceited.
342
00:22:12,457 --> 00:22:14,960
I could fuck practically anyone i wanted.
343
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:15,961
So why don't you?
344
00:22:21,968 --> 00:22:22,969
Never mind.
345
00:22:22,969 --> 00:22:24,470
The answer just walked in the door.
346
00:22:25,972 --> 00:22:27,974
Hey.
347
00:22:27,974 --> 00:22:28,976
How's it going?
348
00:22:29,476 --> 00:22:30,978
What, you actually want to know?
349
00:22:31,479 --> 00:22:32,480
Well, i asked, didn't i?
350
00:22:35,483 --> 00:22:36,985
Everything's fine.
351
00:22:37,485 --> 00:22:38,486
Good.
352
00:22:39,989 --> 00:22:40,990
What are you doing tonight?
353
00:22:43,492 --> 00:22:44,493
Huh?
354
00:22:44,994 --> 00:22:47,997
Are these particularly hard questions?
355
00:22:48,998 --> 00:22:50,500
Do you want to come over after work?
356
00:22:53,003 --> 00:22:54,504
Really?
357
00:22:56,506 --> 00:22:57,507
Sure.
358
00:22:57,507 --> 00:22:59,009
I'll have a turkey sandwich,
359
00:22:59,009 --> 00:23:01,512
On whole grain, no mayo. To go.
360
00:23:05,516 --> 00:23:07,019
Do you realize this is the first time
361
00:23:07,019 --> 00:23:08,520
He's ever asked me to come over?
362
00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:10,022
So what do you think it means?
363
00:23:18,531 --> 00:23:20,033
It means he misses michael.
364
00:23:21,034 --> 00:23:22,536
Are those guys really
365
00:23:22,536 --> 00:23:24,038
Never going to talk to each other again?
366
00:23:25,539 --> 00:23:27,041
Looks that way.
367
00:23:27,541 --> 00:23:28,542
So why don't you talk to him?
368
00:23:31,045 --> 00:23:31,545
Me?
369
00:23:32,047 --> 00:23:33,048
Well, i thought you loved brian.
370
00:23:33,548 --> 00:23:35,550
And you're staying in michael's bedroom,
371
00:23:35,550 --> 00:23:37,052
Which makes you, like, the missing link.
372
00:23:39,054 --> 00:23:40,055
Well, go on.
373
00:23:47,064 --> 00:23:48,565
Hey, boy wonder, uh...
374
00:23:48,565 --> 00:23:51,068
A couple of lemon squares. To go.
375
00:23:51,068 --> 00:23:52,069
Sure.
376
00:24:02,580 --> 00:24:04,083
Aren't you going to talk to him?
377
00:24:06,585 --> 00:24:07,586
What for?
378
00:24:07,586 --> 00:24:09,088
He's right there.
379
00:24:09,088 --> 00:24:10,089
Stay the fuck out of it.
380
00:24:26,108 --> 00:24:26,608
You guys should talk.
381
00:24:27,109 --> 00:24:28,110
You should mind your own business.
382
00:24:28,610 --> 00:24:30,112
But he's your best friend.
383
00:24:30,112 --> 00:24:32,114
Just give me the lemon squares.
384
00:24:32,114 --> 00:24:33,615
Hey, where's my order?
385
00:24:37,620 --> 00:24:39,122
This is a turkey sandwich.
386
00:24:40,623 --> 00:24:42,125
These are lemon squares.
387
00:25:02,148 --> 00:25:04,150
Honey, i'm home!
388
00:25:04,150 --> 00:25:05,651
God, i have always wanted to say that.
389
00:25:06,152 --> 00:25:07,654
Hey, i thought i heard you coming in.
390
00:25:09,156 --> 00:25:11,158
And honey, you really are home.
391
00:25:11,158 --> 00:25:13,660
Yeah, i picked these up for desert.
392
00:25:13,660 --> 00:25:14,661
How was the...
393
00:25:15,662 --> 00:25:16,663
game?
394
00:25:19,667 --> 00:25:21,669
Penguins lost in overtime.
395
00:25:21,669 --> 00:25:23,171
These are beautiful.
396
00:25:24,672 --> 00:25:26,174
The place looks different.
397
00:25:27,175 --> 00:25:28,676
Yeah, well i...
398
00:25:30,180 --> 00:25:32,182
i put a few things away.
399
00:25:32,682 --> 00:25:34,184
Yeah, like... all my stuff.
400
00:25:36,186 --> 00:25:39,690
Oh, well it was a bit, uh, cluttered.
401
00:25:42,693 --> 00:25:44,695
How was your day? My day? My...
402
00:25:44,695 --> 00:25:46,197
my day was compelling.
403
00:25:46,197 --> 00:25:49,200
Chock full of event. We got a new handicap ramp, and...
404
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:52,704
fat marley regaled us with her witty repertoire of fag jokes.
405
00:25:52,704 --> 00:25:55,207
What did you do?
406
00:25:55,707 --> 00:25:57,709
I told her i'm an out-Andproud homosexual,
407
00:25:57,709 --> 00:25:59,711
And if she doesn't like it she can suck my dick.
408
00:26:02,215 --> 00:26:03,216
I didn't do anything.
409
00:26:04,718 --> 00:26:06,220
Tracy did.
410
00:26:06,220 --> 00:26:07,221
She stood right up to her.
411
00:26:09,223 --> 00:26:10,724
Good. So she's still your friend.
412
00:26:12,727 --> 00:26:13,728
I wouldn't say that.
413
00:26:15,730 --> 00:26:17,732
Hey, well one good thing came out of what brian did.
414
00:26:20,235 --> 00:26:22,238
It made you realize that you belong here with me.
415
00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:26,242
Take off your jacket, get ready for dinner.
416
00:26:39,256 --> 00:26:41,259
One spoonful left.
417
00:26:41,259 --> 00:26:42,260
You want it?
418
00:26:43,262 --> 00:26:44,263
No, it'll mean 10 more minutes
419
00:26:44,263 --> 00:26:46,265
On the stairmaster.
420
00:26:46,265 --> 00:26:47,266
Come on.
421
00:26:47,766 --> 00:26:49,768
I want to see you lick it off the spoon.
422
00:27:05,286 --> 00:27:07,788
Mmm, ice cream kiss.
423
00:27:10,291 --> 00:27:12,793
You should eat more, you know.
424
00:27:12,793 --> 00:27:14,295
My mom says you're too skinny.
425
00:27:15,798 --> 00:27:17,800
Your mom? Mm-Hmm.
426
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:19,802
She doesn't completely hate you, you know.
427
00:27:21,804 --> 00:27:23,806
I told her you were always skinny,
428
00:27:23,806 --> 00:27:26,310
Even when you were in high school.
429
00:27:26,310 --> 00:27:28,812
You don't know what i looked like in high school.
430
00:27:28,812 --> 00:27:30,314
I live in michael's old room, remember?
431
00:27:31,815 --> 00:27:33,817
With all his old high school yearbooks.
432
00:27:33,817 --> 00:27:35,319
Pictures of you.
433
00:27:36,821 --> 00:27:38,323
You were a geek.
434
00:27:38,323 --> 00:27:39,824
I was never a geek.
435
00:27:39,824 --> 00:27:41,826
Then explain chemistry club.
436
00:27:42,327 --> 00:27:44,829
That's where i learned to build the bomb to blow up the school.
437
00:27:46,832 --> 00:27:49,335
But mikey talked me out of it.
438
00:27:49,335 --> 00:27:50,837
Good thing he was around.
439
00:27:54,341 --> 00:27:55,842
I bet you wish he was here right now.
440
00:27:55,842 --> 00:27:57,845
Would you shut the fuck up about him?
441
00:27:59,347 --> 00:28:01,349
I bet you're secretly wishing
442
00:28:01,349 --> 00:28:03,351
That the phone would ring and it would be him...
443
00:28:03,351 --> 00:28:04,852
i said shut the fuck up.
444
00:28:09,858 --> 00:28:10,859
His life...
445
00:28:12,361 --> 00:28:13,862
was just going to hang there like some shirt
446
00:28:13,862 --> 00:28:16,365
In the closet you never wear.
447
00:28:16,365 --> 00:28:17,866
So you pushed him away.
448
00:28:17,866 --> 00:28:20,370
It was the only course of action.
449
00:28:20,370 --> 00:28:22,872
Yeah, but now he hates you.
450
00:28:22,872 --> 00:28:24,374
That's okay. As long as mikey's happy.
451
00:28:26,877 --> 00:28:29,381
God, you must really love him.
452
00:28:32,884 --> 00:28:34,886
I think it's time for you to go.
453
00:28:36,388 --> 00:28:37,889
It always is.
454
00:28:39,892 --> 00:28:42,395
Luckily, you can't push me away.
455
00:28:46,899 --> 00:28:47,900
I'm on to you.
456
00:29:22,940 --> 00:29:24,942
Emmett, you came.
457
00:29:24,942 --> 00:29:25,943
It's good to see you.
458
00:29:26,444 --> 00:29:28,446
Hi, i'm ty and i have seen the light.
459
00:29:28,446 --> 00:29:29,947
Come on, let's go.
460
00:29:29,947 --> 00:29:31,449
Hi, ty.
461
00:29:31,449 --> 00:29:33,952
Our first speaker tonight is ginger.
462
00:29:33,952 --> 00:29:35,954
And she was formerly in the dark,
463
00:29:36,455 --> 00:29:37,957
But now she's...
464
00:29:37,957 --> 00:29:38,958
seen the light.
465
00:29:42,462 --> 00:29:45,466
Believe it or not, i, uh, used to be a lesbian.
466
00:29:45,466 --> 00:29:46,967
Used to be?
467
00:29:46,967 --> 00:29:48,969
But thanks to ty and
468
00:29:48,969 --> 00:29:50,471
Every beautiful person here,
469
00:29:50,471 --> 00:29:52,973
I've shed my former corrupt self
470
00:29:52,973 --> 00:29:57,979
And become the new, purified heterosexual me.
471
00:30:02,984 --> 00:30:03,985
As you can see,
472
00:30:03,985 --> 00:30:06,489
The only thing that comes out here is the truth.
473
00:30:06,489 --> 00:30:08,991
You didn't tell me this was a comedy club. Emmett.
474
00:30:08,991 --> 00:30:11,994
I can tell you, and ginger can tell you,
475
00:30:11,994 --> 00:30:15,500
That what you're all hoping and praying for
476
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:18,002
Is not an impossible dream.
477
00:30:18,002 --> 00:30:20,004
It can come true for you,
478
00:30:20,004 --> 00:30:23,007
The same way it's come true for us.
479
00:30:23,508 --> 00:30:26,011
You can change, you can change,
480
00:30:26,011 --> 00:30:28,013
You can change.
481
00:30:28,013 --> 00:30:30,015
I'd start with those shoes.
482
00:30:34,019 --> 00:30:35,020
You.
483
00:30:36,523 --> 00:30:38,024
Uh, m-Me?
484
00:30:38,024 --> 00:30:39,025
You've got your doubts, don't you?
485
00:30:41,027 --> 00:30:43,530
Well, let me ask you a few questions.
486
00:30:43,530 --> 00:30:46,032
Do you and your friends obsess about your bodies
487
00:30:46,032 --> 00:30:47,535
And the bodies of other men?
488
00:30:48,537 --> 00:30:49,538
Check out his pecs.
489
00:30:49,538 --> 00:30:51,039
They're, like, perfect.
490
00:30:51,039 --> 00:30:53,041
They're, like, implants.
491
00:30:53,041 --> 00:30:56,044
Do your conversations centre around trivialities?
492
00:30:56,044 --> 00:30:59,048
Such as, movie stars?
493
00:30:59,048 --> 00:31:01,551
Did you hear that cher had her pussy tightened?
494
00:31:01,551 --> 00:31:03,052
Where'd you read that? "The enquirer"
495
00:31:03,553 --> 00:31:04,554
Or "popular mechanics"?
496
00:31:05,054 --> 00:31:07,056
Are your days and nights spent at the gym
497
00:31:07,056 --> 00:31:08,559
And in bars?
498
00:31:08,559 --> 00:31:11,562
Going home with men whose names you don't even know?
499
00:31:11,562 --> 00:31:16,066
So he's coming and he's going, "fred, fred!"
500
00:31:16,066 --> 00:31:18,068
Fred, who's fred?
501
00:31:18,068 --> 00:31:21,072
If so, maybe you should ask yourself,
502
00:31:21,072 --> 00:31:23,575
"Is this the life i want for me?"
503
00:31:23,575 --> 00:31:26,078
"Is this the life god wants for me?"
504
00:31:28,581 --> 00:31:30,083
"Is there a better life?"
505
00:31:34,087 --> 00:31:35,589
You're looking for something?
506
00:31:36,089 --> 00:31:38,091
Yeah, my beach ball alarm clock.
507
00:31:42,096 --> 00:31:46,100
This clock is from the museum of modern art design collection.
508
00:31:48,603 --> 00:31:50,104
I thought you said this is my place too.
509
00:31:50,605 --> 00:31:52,107
It is.
510
00:31:52,107 --> 00:31:53,609
Well, how come i don't see any of my things?
511
00:32:00,116 --> 00:32:02,119
Michael, uh, you know, your things,
512
00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:04,622
Your toys? They're, they're...
513
00:32:04,622 --> 00:32:07,124
they're cute, they're cute like you.
514
00:32:07,625 --> 00:32:09,627
But you know, they s...
515
00:32:09,627 --> 00:32:10,628
they sort of don't belong.
516
00:32:15,133 --> 00:32:17,636
Let me explain it by saying that...
517
00:32:17,636 --> 00:32:20,138
this is an architectural house.
518
00:32:20,639 --> 00:32:22,642
Everything has its place.
519
00:32:22,642 --> 00:32:24,644
So, if you clutter it up,
520
00:32:24,644 --> 00:32:26,145
It ruins the aesthetic.
521
00:32:26,145 --> 00:32:28,648
Oh, so i'm "cluttering it up".
522
00:32:28,648 --> 00:32:29,649
No! Oh...
523
00:32:30,650 --> 00:32:32,151
i didn't mean it that way.
524
00:32:32,652 --> 00:32:35,156
They're not just toys.
525
00:32:35,156 --> 00:32:36,658
Okay, some of them are collector's items,
526
00:32:36,658 --> 00:32:38,660
Like my japanese robots.
527
00:32:38,660 --> 00:32:41,162
Or... or my bakelite batmobile.
528
00:32:41,162 --> 00:32:42,664
That was made during world war two,
529
00:32:42,664 --> 00:32:44,667
When metal was scarce.
530
00:32:46,168 --> 00:32:50,172
And... even if they were worthless,
531
00:32:52,174 --> 00:32:55,679
They would still be worth something to me.
532
00:32:55,679 --> 00:32:57,180
Because i love them.
533
00:33:00,183 --> 00:33:01,184
I kind of thought you knew that.
534
00:33:15,702 --> 00:33:17,203
Look, i just,
535
00:33:17,203 --> 00:33:19,706
I just got your phone call.
536
00:33:19,706 --> 00:33:21,708
I lit-Literally ran over here.
537
00:33:21,708 --> 00:33:23,710
So, what is the emergency?
538
00:33:23,710 --> 00:33:25,211
Him.
539
00:33:25,211 --> 00:33:27,214
He's here every day now, showing up for meals.
540
00:33:27,214 --> 00:33:29,216
We're suddenly one big happy fucking family.
541
00:33:30,217 --> 00:33:31,218
I don't know,
542
00:33:31,719 --> 00:33:33,721
I sense some tension between you and mel.
543
00:33:35,723 --> 00:33:38,727
Well, she blames me for everything.
544
00:33:38,727 --> 00:33:39,728
Including you.
545
00:33:41,730 --> 00:33:44,733
You should have kept your promise to give her gus.
546
00:33:44,733 --> 00:33:46,736
If she wants a kid, she can have one of her own.
547
00:33:46,736 --> 00:33:47,738
No, she can't.
548
00:33:49,239 --> 00:33:51,241
Gus was supposed to be hers and mine.
549
00:33:51,241 --> 00:33:52,743
Not yours and mine.
550
00:33:54,745 --> 00:33:56,246
Well, lindsay's always complaining
551
00:33:56,246 --> 00:33:57,748
He never spends enough time with gus.
552
00:33:58,249 --> 00:33:59,250
Oh, you're a big help.
553
00:33:59,751 --> 00:34:00,752
Can't you do something?
554
00:34:00,752 --> 00:34:01,753
Like what?
555
00:34:02,253 --> 00:34:03,254
Like get him and michael back together
556
00:34:03,254 --> 00:34:05,256
So he will leave us alone.
557
00:34:05,256 --> 00:34:07,258
Are you kidding? You even mention michael's name,
558
00:34:07,759 --> 00:34:08,761
He'll tear your head off.
559
00:34:09,261 --> 00:34:10,763
Yeah? Well that's what i'm about to do to him.
560
00:34:10,763 --> 00:34:12,264
She also thinks i've turned into
561
00:34:12,264 --> 00:34:15,267
This cold, unresponsive bitch.
562
00:34:15,768 --> 00:34:16,268
Have you?
563
00:34:18,771 --> 00:34:19,773
Maybe a little.
564
00:34:21,274 --> 00:34:23,277
Well then you should find yourself some nice,
565
00:34:23,277 --> 00:34:26,280
Fuzzy lezzie with a therapist's license and work it out.
566
00:34:26,781 --> 00:34:27,782
That's what mel wants.
567
00:34:29,283 --> 00:34:30,285
What do you want?
568
00:34:32,788 --> 00:34:33,789
I want...
569
00:34:34,790 --> 00:34:36,792
i...
570
00:34:41,798 --> 00:34:43,299
i want a bagel.
571
00:34:43,299 --> 00:34:45,301
And after that, i don't know.
572
00:34:45,301 --> 00:34:46,302
All i know is that...
573
00:34:49,305 --> 00:34:51,308
if i talk, i might say something i regret.
574
00:34:52,810 --> 00:34:54,812
It might be good for you.
575
00:34:55,312 --> 00:34:56,814
Let out some of those nasty demons.
576
00:34:56,814 --> 00:34:58,316
But i'm not like that.
577
00:34:58,316 --> 00:34:59,818
See, i'm a wasp.
578
00:34:59,818 --> 00:35:01,319
From a family of wasps.
579
00:35:03,322 --> 00:35:05,825
I'll tell you what, i-I'll take him to the tea-Dance at woody's.
580
00:35:05,825 --> 00:35:06,826
Great idea.
581
00:35:07,326 --> 00:35:08,828
Thanks, teddy. Yeah.
582
00:35:08,828 --> 00:35:11,330
I'm not really doing it for you, you know.
583
00:35:11,330 --> 00:35:12,331
Hanging with brian...
584
00:35:13,834 --> 00:35:15,836
best thing that's ever happened to my sex life.
585
00:35:17,337 --> 00:35:19,840
Video tape special today, 10 pack...
586
00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:20,841
see ya, marley.
587
00:35:21,341 --> 00:35:21,842
Bye, trace.
588
00:35:26,848 --> 00:35:27,348
Bye, mr. Novotny.
589
00:35:31,853 --> 00:35:32,353
Tracy!
590
00:35:34,858 --> 00:35:36,860
Yes, mr. Novotny?
591
00:35:36,860 --> 00:35:39,362
Would you stop calling me that, please?
592
00:35:39,362 --> 00:35:41,364
What should i call you?
593
00:35:41,364 --> 00:35:43,867
Well, i'm sure you could think of a few things.
594
00:35:44,869 --> 00:35:45,870
I have to go.
595
00:35:47,371 --> 00:35:49,373
You don't have to leave your job.
596
00:35:49,373 --> 00:35:52,376
Is there something wrong with the big dollar mart?
597
00:35:52,376 --> 00:35:55,380
Well, it's not exactly the big q.
598
00:35:55,380 --> 00:35:57,382
No, but at least people seem honest there.
599
00:36:00,886 --> 00:36:03,388
You probably think this is all about you being gay, don't you?
600
00:36:05,390 --> 00:36:08,395
Well, i admit, it might have been at first.
601
00:36:09,897 --> 00:36:11,899
But that's not the point any more.
602
00:36:11,899 --> 00:36:14,401
Whether you're gay or you're straight,
603
00:36:14,401 --> 00:36:15,903
I thought we were friends.
604
00:36:15,903 --> 00:36:17,906
We are. Well, friends trust each other.
605
00:36:19,908 --> 00:36:21,409
What did you think would happen if you told me?
606
00:36:21,910 --> 00:36:23,411
That i'd tell everyone at the store?
607
00:36:25,413 --> 00:36:26,916
I wouldn't have, mike.
608
00:36:28,417 --> 00:36:29,418
Don't you know that?
609
00:36:31,420 --> 00:36:31,921
I should've.
610
00:36:33,923 --> 00:36:36,425
But when you spend your entire life keeping it a secret...
611
00:36:37,928 --> 00:36:40,430
who you really are,
612
00:36:40,931 --> 00:36:42,432
You learn to stop trusting people
613
00:36:42,432 --> 00:36:44,435
And it becomes second nature.
614
00:36:47,939 --> 00:36:49,441
It kills me that i hurt you, trace,
615
00:36:49,441 --> 00:36:51,443
And i'd do anything to take that back.
616
00:36:53,445 --> 00:36:55,447
I know i don't deserve to ask this...
617
00:36:57,449 --> 00:36:59,452
but do you think we could still be friends?
618
00:37:01,454 --> 00:37:03,456
Do you think we could be friends?
619
00:37:07,961 --> 00:37:11,465
Well, why don't we go have a cup of big q coffee and find out?
620
00:37:12,967 --> 00:37:13,968
I'd like that.
621
00:37:13,968 --> 00:37:14,969
But i-I really do have to go.
622
00:37:16,470 --> 00:37:17,471
I have a date.
623
00:37:19,474 --> 00:37:20,476
Is he straight?
624
00:37:31,989 --> 00:37:34,491
At last, now we have the house to ourself,
625
00:37:34,491 --> 00:37:35,492
Alone.
626
00:37:39,496 --> 00:37:43,501
Oh, by the way, janet and that dickhead husband of hers,
627
00:37:43,501 --> 00:37:45,003
They finally sent us a card
628
00:37:45,003 --> 00:37:47,005
Congratulating us on gus.
629
00:37:47,005 --> 00:37:48,506
Only took three months.
630
00:37:53,512 --> 00:37:55,515
You expect too much, mel.
631
00:37:55,515 --> 00:37:56,516
What?
632
00:37:58,018 --> 00:38:00,020
I said you expect too much.
633
00:38:00,020 --> 00:38:03,524
That my sister could at least acknowledge the birth of our son?
634
00:38:03,524 --> 00:38:05,526
Of me.
635
00:38:05,526 --> 00:38:07,528
You want all my time, my devotion
636
00:38:07,528 --> 00:38:09,530
And if you don't get it, you think we have a problem.
637
00:38:11,032 --> 00:38:13,035
You get angry that i see the baby more than you.
638
00:38:13,035 --> 00:38:15,537
You blame me because brian wouldn't give you parental rights,
639
00:38:15,537 --> 00:38:18,040
I suppose it's even my fault that i can have a child and you can't.
640
00:38:18,540 --> 00:38:20,542
Hey, that's not fair.
641
00:38:20,542 --> 00:38:23,045
I feel like i spend half my life apologizing to you,
642
00:38:23,546 --> 00:38:25,548
Trying to convince you that i love you.
643
00:38:27,550 --> 00:38:29,052
Only nothing's ever enough.
644
00:38:31,555 --> 00:38:34,058
I'm starting to wonder if anything ever could be.
645
00:38:51,077 --> 00:38:53,079
Well, i asked you to talk, and you did.
646
00:39:17,607 --> 00:39:20,110
I tell you, hanging with brian is exhausting.
647
00:39:21,611 --> 00:39:24,614
But it's worth it for the sex.
648
00:39:24,614 --> 00:39:26,616
You're having sex with brian?
649
00:39:26,616 --> 00:39:28,619
Of course not.
650
00:39:28,619 --> 00:39:30,121
We have symbiosis.
651
00:39:30,121 --> 00:39:31,622
Oh my god.
652
00:39:31,622 --> 00:39:33,124
Is there anything they can do?
653
00:39:33,124 --> 00:39:34,625
You mustn't give up hope.
654
00:39:34,625 --> 00:39:36,127
It's not a disease,
655
00:39:36,627 --> 00:39:38,130
It's a perfect relationship.
656
00:39:38,130 --> 00:39:39,631
You know, like, uh,
657
00:39:40,132 --> 00:39:41,133
The yellow tick bird and the rhinoceros.
658
00:39:43,136 --> 00:39:45,638
The yellow tick bird feeds on parasites
659
00:39:45,638 --> 00:39:48,141
On the rhino's skin, and in turn,
660
00:39:48,141 --> 00:39:50,644
The rhino is warned of impending danger
661
00:39:50,644 --> 00:39:53,147
When the tick bird flies away.
662
00:39:53,147 --> 00:39:57,151
Similarly, i supply brian
663
00:39:57,151 --> 00:39:59,154
With an object of scorn and ridicule,
664
00:39:59,154 --> 00:40:01,156
Namely myself,
665
00:40:01,156 --> 00:40:03,158
And he supplies me
666
00:40:03,658 --> 00:40:05,160
With unwanted ticks,
667
00:40:05,160 --> 00:40:06,661
Uh, tricks.
668
00:40:07,162 --> 00:40:08,663
You're doing this for castoffs?
669
00:40:08,663 --> 00:40:12,668
Well, in bed you can't tell.
670
00:40:12,668 --> 00:40:13,669
They're as good as new.
671
00:40:15,671 --> 00:40:19,676
Ted, have you ever asked yourself...
672
00:40:21,179 --> 00:40:24,182
"Is... is going to tea-Dances with brian and...
673
00:40:24,182 --> 00:40:26,684
having indiscriminate sex with countless strangers
674
00:40:26,684 --> 00:40:29,187
Really the life i want?"
675
00:40:29,187 --> 00:40:32,191
I have. And the answer is,
676
00:40:32,191 --> 00:40:33,692
"You bet your ass it is."
677
00:40:35,694 --> 00:40:37,196
Have you... have you ever wondered,
678
00:40:37,196 --> 00:40:39,198
"Is this the life god wants for me?"
679
00:40:39,198 --> 00:40:43,203
Well, i suppose in his infinite wisdom,
680
00:40:43,203 --> 00:40:45,205
He decided somebody had to live in pittsburgh.
681
00:40:47,207 --> 00:40:49,209
Have you ever wondered "is...
682
00:40:49,209 --> 00:40:51,211
is there a better life?"
683
00:40:51,711 --> 00:40:52,214
Yeah.
684
00:40:53,715 --> 00:40:55,717
I could have a 10-Inch dick and look like him.
685
00:40:57,719 --> 00:40:59,221
Well, who wouldn't want that?
686
00:41:20,744 --> 00:41:22,246
Hi.
687
00:41:23,247 --> 00:41:24,749
What are you doing here?
688
00:41:24,749 --> 00:41:26,751
Looking for you.
689
00:41:26,751 --> 00:41:28,254
Well, how'd you find me?
690
00:41:28,254 --> 00:41:30,756
Well, first i asked your mom, then i called david.
691
00:41:30,756 --> 00:41:32,258
Is there anyone you didn't ask?
692
00:41:32,258 --> 00:41:34,260
Then i asked brian.
693
00:41:34,260 --> 00:41:35,262
What'd you do that for?
694
00:41:35,262 --> 00:41:37,764
Look, just butt out.
695
00:41:37,764 --> 00:41:39,266
I told you before, this is none of your business.
696
00:41:39,766 --> 00:41:43,270
Yeah, he said that whenever you feel sad or upset,
697
00:41:43,270 --> 00:41:44,771
This is where you come.
698
00:41:45,273 --> 00:41:47,275
That just being around all these comics
699
00:41:47,275 --> 00:41:49,277
Brings the light into your eyes.
700
00:41:51,779 --> 00:41:53,781
He said that?
701
00:41:53,781 --> 00:41:55,784
I guess he knows you pretty well.
702
00:41:55,784 --> 00:41:56,785
Well, he doesn't know me any more.
703
00:42:00,289 --> 00:42:01,790
Yeah.
704
00:42:01,790 --> 00:42:04,294
That is why he got you this.
705
00:42:06,296 --> 00:42:09,300
I told him already, i don't want his crummy present.
706
00:42:09,300 --> 00:42:10,301
Wait!
707
00:42:12,803 --> 00:42:13,804
He misses you.
708
00:42:13,804 --> 00:42:15,306
He's miserable without you.
709
00:42:15,306 --> 00:42:17,809
Well good, he deserves to be.
710
00:42:17,809 --> 00:42:19,811
He loves you.
711
00:42:19,811 --> 00:42:20,812
He'll never admit it, but he does.
712
00:42:20,812 --> 00:42:21,813
Brian... you know that.
713
00:42:21,813 --> 00:42:24,316
Brian doesn't love anyone.
714
00:42:24,316 --> 00:42:27,319
He doesn't believe in love, remember?
715
00:42:27,319 --> 00:42:29,322
You're the exception.
716
00:42:29,322 --> 00:42:31,824
That's why he hurt you, so you'd go back with david.
717
00:42:33,326 --> 00:42:35,328
He knew if he didn't, you'd be waiting for him forever.
718
00:42:35,828 --> 00:42:36,829
That's bullshit.
719
00:42:38,332 --> 00:42:40,335
This was his way of saying goodbye.
720
00:42:42,837 --> 00:42:44,839
We've got some new friends to meet tonight,
721
00:42:45,340 --> 00:42:47,842
Whose dark world is about to be illuminated.
722
00:42:47,842 --> 00:42:50,846
And afterwards, i invite you all to gather in the foyer
723
00:42:50,846 --> 00:42:52,848
And have some incredible brownies
724
00:42:52,848 --> 00:42:54,850
Baked by my incredible wife.
725
00:42:56,352 --> 00:42:57,853
So, let's get started.
726
00:43:01,858 --> 00:43:03,360
Hi. I-I'm don.
727
00:43:04,361 --> 00:43:06,363
Hi, don.
728
00:43:06,363 --> 00:43:09,366
Um, how i got here is a... a long story,
729
00:43:09,366 --> 00:43:11,869
But that doesn't matter because i'm here,
730
00:43:13,871 --> 00:43:14,873
I've seen the light.
731
00:43:15,374 --> 00:43:16,375
Great!
732
00:43:21,881 --> 00:43:23,883
Hi, i'm emmett.
733
00:43:23,883 --> 00:43:25,885
Hi, emmett.
734
00:43:25,885 --> 00:43:27,887
And i, uh, i just want to say that...
735
00:43:30,390 --> 00:43:32,393
i want to see the light, too.
736
00:44:08,433 --> 00:44:11,436
What're you doing here? You're married now.
737
00:44:11,436 --> 00:44:13,438
I can still look.
738
00:44:13,438 --> 00:44:15,941
Yeah, well what's the good of looking if you can't touch?
739
00:44:20,446 --> 00:44:22,448
Want a beer? How many have you had?
740
00:44:22,448 --> 00:44:24,951
A few. Too many.
741
00:44:24,951 --> 00:44:26,954
Keep track of the doctor, not me.
742
00:44:29,457 --> 00:44:31,459
I never thanked you for my gift.
743
00:44:31,959 --> 00:44:32,960
Your gift?
744
00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:35,964
Your ward tracked me down, insisted that i take it.
745
00:44:35,964 --> 00:44:37,966
Yeah, well i'll have to punish him severely.
746
00:44:38,967 --> 00:44:40,969
It's the neatest thing i ever got.
747
00:44:40,969 --> 00:44:41,970
I thought so.
748
00:44:46,976 --> 00:44:47,977
You want to dance?
749
00:44:55,985 --> 00:44:57,988
It felt weird, not talking to you.
750
00:44:57,988 --> 00:44:58,989
Well, i never thought about it.
751
00:45:00,491 --> 00:45:01,993
I heard you were freaking out.
752
00:45:02,494 --> 00:45:03,495
Yeah, who told you that?
753
00:45:03,995 --> 00:45:05,497
Everybody, ted, lindsay...
754
00:45:05,497 --> 00:45:06,999
well, they're pathological liars.
755
00:45:06,999 --> 00:45:08,000
I wouldn't trust them.
756
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:09,502
You are so busted.
757
00:45:09,502 --> 00:45:10,503
So, how's the happy couple?
758
00:45:12,505 --> 00:45:13,506
Are you really interested?
759
00:45:13,506 --> 00:45:14,507
Not in the slightest.
760
00:45:17,511 --> 00:45:18,512
It's going to be fine.
761
00:45:18,512 --> 00:45:20,013
Except he doesn't know that superman dies
762
00:45:20,514 --> 00:45:21,515
In "the crisis on infinite earth"
763
00:45:22,015 --> 00:45:23,517
Or that batgirl is now crippled in a wheelchair
764
00:45:24,017 --> 00:45:25,519
After being raped by the joker,
765
00:45:25,519 --> 00:45:29,023
Or... or that for that one special day in 1970,
766
00:45:29,023 --> 00:45:31,526
Captain astro became astro woman.
767
00:45:32,026 --> 00:45:34,028
Exactly. You are so pathetic.
768
00:45:34,028 --> 00:45:35,029
Hey!
769
00:45:44,541 --> 00:45:45,542
Give him time.
770
00:45:47,544 --> 00:45:48,545
He'll learn.
771
00:46:11,571 --> 00:46:14,074
Hey. Hey.
772
00:46:14,074 --> 00:46:16,577
I feel like i haven't seen you all weekend.
773
00:46:16,577 --> 00:46:17,578
You haven't.
774
00:46:18,078 --> 00:46:19,580
In fact, i think i probably saw you more
775
00:46:19,580 --> 00:46:21,082
When you didn't live here.
776
00:46:23,585 --> 00:46:26,087
I notice you've been doing a little redecorating.
777
00:46:26,087 --> 00:46:29,090
Ah, i felt the place needed a little warmth.
778
00:46:29,090 --> 00:46:31,593
A little charm, a little whimsy.
779
00:46:33,596 --> 00:46:34,597
A little you.
780
00:46:41,103 --> 00:46:43,607
Well, i suppose we could put some of this stuff away.
781
00:46:48,613 --> 00:46:51,616
You know, your moving in was a big change for me, too.
782
00:46:51,616 --> 00:46:54,119
I saw your stuff and i suddenly realized...
783
00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:58,624
that i was "we" again.
784
00:47:00,125 --> 00:47:03,630
That my life was now our life.
785
00:47:06,132 --> 00:47:07,634
It kind of freaked me out.
786
00:47:10,637 --> 00:47:14,141
Well, i'm glad to know i'm not the only one who's scared shitless.
787
00:47:16,143 --> 00:47:17,144
You know, i've, uh...
788
00:47:18,646 --> 00:47:20,648
been reading your comics.
789
00:47:20,648 --> 00:47:22,650
Oh, yeah? I hope you don't mind.
790
00:47:22,650 --> 00:47:25,154
I-I never really got a chance to do that when i was a kid.
791
00:47:25,154 --> 00:47:27,657
My parents were pretty strict.
792
00:47:28,157 --> 00:47:30,660
You probably had to read tolstoy and stuff like that.
793
00:47:30,660 --> 00:47:32,662
Actually, they're kind of fun.
794
00:47:34,664 --> 00:47:35,666
Did you know...
795
00:47:37,668 --> 00:47:40,671
that for one special day in 1970,
796
00:47:40,671 --> 00:47:44,675
Captain astro became astro woman?
797
00:47:44,725 --> 00:47:49,275
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