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1
00:00:02,669 --> 00:00:05,449
[Charlie] Thank you so much
for taking the time to meet with us.
2
00:00:05,905 --> 00:00:07,515
- [Mac] Yes. This shouldn't take long.
- Uh-uh.
3
00:00:07,807 --> 00:00:10,357
- So, you'd like to buy a boat.
- Yes. We have recently...
4
00:00:10,777 --> 00:00:12,887
come into a considerable amount of money.
5
00:00:13,246 --> 00:00:14,976
We're not gonna bore you
with the details...
6
00:00:15,281 --> 00:00:18,031
but let's just say my friends here
set off on a certain towel venture...
7
00:00:18,485 --> 00:00:19,795
- Dicktowel.com.
- [Laughs] Yeah.
8
00:00:20,053 --> 00:00:21,893
- You're not supposed to talk about the name of it.
- That's true.
9
00:00:22,222 --> 00:00:24,562
Technically, we're doing a couple of things
on the hush-hush from Uncle Sam.
10
00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:26,358
The point is, we're flush.
11
00:00:26,626 --> 00:00:29,696
We are $2,500 flush, so
don't worry about that.
12
00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:31,486
We'd like to take some of that money...
13
00:00:31,731 --> 00:00:33,511
- and taste a little bit of the high life.
- Absolutely.
14
00:00:33,833 --> 00:00:36,963
We've also talked our friend into throwing
his entire life savings into the venture.
15
00:00:37,470 --> 00:00:38,990
That's right.
I'm in it for the lifestyle...
16
00:00:39,272 --> 00:00:40,912
as well as the great investment.
17
00:00:41,207 --> 00:00:43,577
Okay. Well, then what is it
you guys are looking for?
18
00:00:43,977 --> 00:00:46,467
Let's talk needs, please.
I'd like to talk needs first.
19
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:49,490
Now, I have the need for speed.
It's very important. It's inherent.
20
00:00:49,916 --> 00:00:51,816
There's nothing I can do about it,
so speed is a must.
21
00:00:52,152 --> 00:00:55,372
Absolutely. But we are also looking
to entertain guests upon this boat, so...
22
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:58,759
Yeah. We're gonna throw
some P. Diddy-style parties up on the deck.
23
00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:01,625
Um, can we talk shrimp for a minute?
24
00:01:02,028 --> 00:01:04,718
I'd like the boat to be able to haul in
a tremendous amount of shrimp...
25
00:01:05,165 --> 00:01:07,885
Sort of a Forrest Gump
size amount of shrimp.
26
00:01:08,334 --> 00:01:10,644
Um, you should be writing
this down, I think.
27
00:01:11,037 --> 00:01:12,767
Why are you not writing this down?
28
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,883
Let me just see if I
have this right here...
29
00:01:15,208 --> 00:01:16,728
and, please, correct me if I'm wrong.
30
00:01:17,010 --> 00:01:18,760
It seems like what you
guys are looking for...
31
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:21,599
is some sort
of a P. Diddy-style shrimping vessel.
32
00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:23,655
Oh, right!
You're a really good listener...
33
00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:27,080
and I didn't peg you for one
'cause of the pinky ring, but that's great.
34
00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:29,667
You know, I've got just the boat for you.
35
00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:31,513
[Chuckles]
36
00:01:31,791 --> 00:01:34,421
[Salesman] Well, here she
is... the Drowning Sailor.
37
00:01:34,861 --> 00:01:38,841
But, uh, it doesn't meet,
well, any of your specs.
38
00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:40,926
I'm gonna level with you, pal.
39
00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:42,841
We saw this comin' a mile away.
40
00:01:43,136 --> 00:01:45,766
We've had our hearts set
on this boat thing for days now...
41
00:01:46,206 --> 00:01:48,696
which, in our world, is a level of focus...
42
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:51,509
in which I personally
have never experienced.
43
00:01:51,911 --> 00:01:53,961
- But I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say...
- We'll take it!
44
00:01:54,314 --> 00:01:55,624
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
45
00:01:55,882 --> 00:01:57,722
Wh-What are you doing? I was doing a thing.
46
00:01:58,051 --> 00:02:01,071
- Takin' a long time, dude.
- We wanted to buy a boat. Let's get the boat.
47
00:02:01,554 --> 00:02:03,484
It was taking a little while
because I was doing a presentation...
48
00:02:03,823 --> 00:02:05,753
What if someone walks down the deck
and makes an offer before us?
49
00:02:06,092 --> 00:02:07,822
Nobody's gonna make an offer
before I finish my thing.
50
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:09,528
We're not the only people that want a boat.
51
00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:11,496
I'm confused.
Are you gonna take the boat or not?
52
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:13,348
Yes, we're buying the boat.
53
00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:15,333
I wanted to add a little fanfare
into the situation...
54
00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:17,505
but my friends here couldn't wait for that.
55
00:02:17,837 --> 00:02:19,797
Yes, we're-we're taking the boat.
56
00:02:54,307 --> 00:02:56,177
What a score!
57
00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:58,179
- Houseboat, huh?
- Yeah. Abso...
58
00:02:58,478 --> 00:03:00,528
The houseboat offers
all the advantages of a house...
59
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:02,370
but with the excitement of the sea.
60
00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:04,669
- Think of all the fish we're gonna catch.
- Not just fish, Frank.
61
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,478
You gotta start thinking
about shrimp, okay?
62
00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:08,503
We're gonna be hauling in
so much shrimp every day...
63
00:03:08,821 --> 00:03:10,401
it's gonna pay for itself 10 times over.
64
00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:13,350
Picture tiny shrimp crawling
all over this boat, every inch of it.
65
00:03:13,793 --> 00:03:15,343
Guys, can we not focus on the shrimp?
66
00:03:15,628 --> 00:03:17,268
'Cause we have so much work to do.
67
00:03:17,564 --> 00:03:19,814
It's a shrimp boat. I'd like to have
at least one conversation about shrimp.
68
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,130
No, shrimp is
a very small aspect of the whole...
69
00:03:22,468 --> 00:03:23,958
Most important part of the...
70
00:03:24,237 --> 00:03:26,197
Tell you what. Shrimp or no shrimp,
I'm very excited about it...
71
00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:28,709
and I say we take this lady
out onto the sea and get loaded.
72
00:03:29,075 --> 00:03:31,855
Slow your roll there, Dee. The lady's
not quite ready to go out to the sea yet.
73
00:03:32,312 --> 00:03:34,122
There's a lot of prep work
that still has to be done.
74
00:03:34,447 --> 00:03:35,907
Actually,
Frank and Charlie, I want you to start...
75
00:03:36,182 --> 00:03:37,992
by scraping the barnacles
off the bottom of the boat...
76
00:03:38,318 --> 00:03:39,988
'cause that probably
hasn't been done in years...
77
00:03:40,286 --> 00:03:42,016
while Dee and Mac and I
go into the inside...
78
00:03:42,322 --> 00:03:44,282
and check out the decor situation.
79
00:03:44,624 --> 00:03:46,054
- Huh?
- Mmm.
80
00:03:46,326 --> 00:03:47,726
- One word.
- Shrimp.
81
00:03:50,997 --> 00:03:52,867
Okay. Yeah. No. Just as I suspected.
82
00:03:53,199 --> 00:03:55,129
We got our work cut out for us, guys.
83
00:03:55,468 --> 00:03:56,928
[Mac]
This isn't Diddy-esque at all.
84
00:03:57,203 --> 00:03:58,753
No. We gotta get rid of all this shit.
85
00:03:59,038 --> 00:04:01,028
Are you guys crazy? This boat is awesome.
86
00:04:01,374 --> 00:04:02,924
How about a little of this?
87
00:04:03,209 --> 00:04:05,139
[Dance]
88
00:04:05,478 --> 00:04:07,558
-
[Woman Vocalizing]
- Huh?
89
00:04:11,451 --> 00:04:13,061
What the hell is that?
90
00:04:13,353 --> 00:04:16,723
This? That's my P. Diddy boat dance.
Uh-huh!
91
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,657
You look like one of those inflatable
dancing things at the used-car lot...
92
00:04:20,059 --> 00:04:22,549
- the ones that flail around in the wind.
- No, I don't. I look good.
93
00:04:22,962 --> 00:04:24,602
No, Dee. That's exactly what you look like.
94
00:04:24,897 --> 00:04:27,007
I promise you that's what you look like.
You can't dance for shit.
95
00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:29,097
I can dance, and you don't know
what you're talking about.
96
00:04:29,402 --> 00:04:31,072
I'm gonna bring one in so you can see it.
97
00:04:31,371 --> 00:04:33,801
Okay. Why don't you bring the guy in.
We'll have a dance competition.
98
00:04:34,207 --> 00:04:35,937
I'm gonna be the judge of that contest.
99
00:04:36,242 --> 00:04:38,432
There's not gonna be a contest.
No, stop. Everybody stop. Shut up!
100
00:04:38,811 --> 00:04:40,801
No, nobody's bringing
any trashy inflatable man on this boat.
101
00:04:41,147 --> 00:04:42,347
Absolutely not. Dee, stop dancing.
102
00:04:42,582 --> 00:04:44,042
-
[Music Off]
- You look like an asshole.
103
00:04:44,317 --> 00:04:46,687
We're not there yet.
We have a lot of work to do first.
104
00:04:47,086 --> 00:04:49,136
Okay, Dee, since you didn't invest
any money in this venture...
105
00:04:49,489 --> 00:04:51,599
you're gonna be the one
that's got to do all the hard labor here...
106
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:54,978
so I need you to get rid of all this shit,
and make the boat look nice, okay?
107
00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:57,861
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hard work? What are you talking about?
108
00:04:58,264 --> 00:05:01,394
Work first, and then you can do your weird,
inflatable tube-man P. Diddy dance.
109
00:05:01,901 --> 00:05:03,981
Or whatever it is.
110
00:05:04,337 --> 00:05:05,737
You know what I'm looking forward to...
111
00:05:06,005 --> 00:05:08,115
- is catching me some Delaware River catfish.
- Oh, yeah!
112
00:05:08,474 --> 00:05:10,584
They are so tasty!
I used to eat 'em when I was a kid.
113
00:05:10,943 --> 00:05:12,813
You can't buy 'em in the stores no more.
114
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:16,106
- Why is that?
- The goddamned E.P.A. They says they're toxic.
115
00:05:16,582 --> 00:05:19,602
Toxic my ass.
I mean, they're just endangered.
116
00:05:20,086 --> 00:05:21,546
- Frank...
- They're tasty, man.
117
00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:24,281
This boat is the best investment
I ever made, man. I mean, it's huge!
118
00:05:24,691 --> 00:05:28,851
We're gonna pop over to the boat store
real quick and grab some, uh... Whoa!
119
00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:30,865
What the hell are you guys doing?
120
00:05:31,130 --> 00:05:33,710
- We're loading our gear.
- No, no, no, no. You should not be loading.
121
00:05:34,133 --> 00:05:35,713
No one should be bringing anything
onto the boat.
122
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,582
You should be scraping, okay? So scrape.
123
00:05:37,870 --> 00:05:41,440
Oh, well, we're gonna scrape the boat.
We are gonna scrape the boat.
124
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,438
Are you patronizing me?
125
00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:45,110
Don't patronize me. Don't do that.
126
00:05:45,378 --> 00:05:47,958
No one's patronizing you, all right?
Here's what we'll do.
127
00:05:48,381 --> 00:05:50,051
We'll scrape all these
little delicious oysters...
128
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:51,870
or whatever off the side of the boat.
129
00:05:52,151 --> 00:05:53,671
We'll boil 'em up before you get back.
130
00:05:53,953 --> 00:05:55,353
- We'll cook 'em for you.
- There you go.
131
00:05:55,621 --> 00:05:58,341
No, those are barnacles.
Do not eat those. Do not serve them to us.
132
00:05:58,791 --> 00:06:01,311
- Okay, all that.
- Honestly, don't eat those.
133
00:06:01,728 --> 00:06:03,398
- You'll get very, very sick, okay?
- Yeah.
134
00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:05,096
Now that is a direct
order from your captain.
135
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,035
Whoa! Since when are you the captain?
136
00:06:07,333 --> 00:06:08,853
Clearly I'm the captain.
Who else would be the captain?
137
00:06:09,135 --> 00:06:10,595
I feel like I would be the captain. Dennis?
138
00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:13,090
- I don't give a shit.
- I'm captain! I called it! Locked in.
139
00:06:13,473 --> 00:06:15,223
Boom. Scrape. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.
140
00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:18,201
- I ain't scraping shit.
- No, we're not scraping!
141
00:06:18,644 --> 00:06:20,104
- No, no scraping.
- Here's what we're gonna do.
142
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,020
- We're gonna fire up the boat, right?
- Yeah.
143
00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:24,685
We're gonna take it out into the ocean.
We're gonna get some oysters.
144
00:06:25,084 --> 00:06:26,754
- And shrimp.
- And shrimpies!
145
00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:28,753
- Toss me the keys.
- Here you go.
146
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:33,585
What the hell was that?
147
00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:35,470
It's the keys. I threw 'em right at ya.
148
00:06:35,762 --> 00:06:37,372
I asked you to toss 'em!
You threw 'em overhand!
149
00:06:37,663 --> 00:06:39,973
- That's the way I throw.
- Jump in there and get 'em.
150
00:06:40,366 --> 00:06:42,706
- I'm not going in there. I don't sink.
- What?
151
00:06:43,102 --> 00:06:45,382
I get in there,
I just bob around like a cauliflower.
152
00:06:45,772 --> 00:06:47,992
Don't give me lines.
Jump in the ocean and get the damn keys.
153
00:06:48,374 --> 00:06:49,684
No, I'm not going in.
[Blubbers]
154
00:06:49,942 --> 00:06:52,722
Charlie, I'm not going in.
It's your boat. You go on in.
155
00:06:53,179 --> 00:06:54,849
You son of a bitch.
156
00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:56,668
All right.
[lnhales]
157
00:07:04,624 --> 00:07:06,404
-
[Whistling] Yo.
- Hey, buddy.
158
00:07:06,726 --> 00:07:09,826
Uh, I got us some turpentine, some wax
and some high-gloss boat paint.
159
00:07:10,329 --> 00:07:12,409
- This shit is really expensive.
- You're telling me.
160
00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:14,695
I picked us up
some new slacks and Docksiders...
161
00:07:15,034 --> 00:07:17,284
so we could have the right look
and fit in and everything.
162
00:07:17,670 --> 00:07:19,690
We're running pretty low
on remaining dick towel money though.
163
00:07:20,039 --> 00:07:21,789
- We got to fill that thing up with gas.
- I know, man.
164
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:23,948
We got to pop by the department store,
pick up the mattress.
165
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:25,947
I want to get a nice one too. You know?
166
00:07:26,245 --> 00:07:28,415
The what? The mattress?
What do we need a mattress for?
167
00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:30,591
What do you mean
what do we need a mattress for?
168
00:07:30,917 --> 00:07:32,967
Why do you think we just spent
all that money on a boat?
169
00:07:33,319 --> 00:07:34,929
The whole purpose of buying the boat...
170
00:07:35,221 --> 00:07:36,891
was to get the ladies
nice and tipsy topside...
171
00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:39,740
so we can take them
to a nice comfortable place below deck...
172
00:07:40,159 --> 00:07:41,709
and, you know, they can't refuse...
173
00:07:41,994 --> 00:07:43,924
because of the implication.
174
00:07:44,263 --> 00:07:46,343
Oh. Uh, okay.
175
00:07:46,699 --> 00:07:48,309
You had me going there for the first part.
176
00:07:48,601 --> 00:07:50,031
The second half kind of threw me.
177
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:51,613
Well, dude, think about it.
178
00:07:51,871 --> 00:07:53,861
She's out in the middle of nowhere
with some dude she barely knows.
179
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:56,347
She looks around, and what does she see?
Nothing but open ocean.
180
00:07:56,709 --> 00:07:58,519
[High-pitched Voice]
"Ah, there's nowhere for me to run.
181
00:07:58,845 --> 00:08:01,095
What am I going to do, say no?"
182
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,321
- Okay. That...
- [Both Laugh]
183
00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:06,459
- That seems really dark.
- No, it's not dark. You're misunderstanding me, bro.
184
00:08:06,919 --> 00:08:08,499
- I think I am.
- Yeah, you are.
185
00:08:08,788 --> 00:08:10,778
- Because if the girl said no, then
the answer obviously is no. - No.
186
00:08:11,123 --> 00:08:12,583
The thing is, she's not gonna say no.
187
00:08:12,859 --> 00:08:15,439
She would never say no,
because of the implication.
188
00:08:17,563 --> 00:08:20,553
Now, you've said that word "implication"
a couple of times.
189
00:08:21,033 --> 00:08:22,993
Wh-What implication?
190
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:26,526
The implication that things might go wrong
for her if she refuses to sleep with me.
191
00:08:27,039 --> 00:08:29,119
Now, not that things
are gonna go wrong for her...
192
00:08:29,475 --> 00:08:30,995
but she's thinking that they will.
193
00:08:31,277 --> 00:08:33,057
But it sounds like
she doesn't want to have sex with you.
194
00:08:33,379 --> 00:08:34,869
- Why aren't you understanding this?
- I don't...
195
00:08:35,147 --> 00:08:38,187
She doesn't know whether she wants
to have sex with me. That's not the issue.
196
00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:40,764
- Are you gonna hurt women?
- I'm not going to hurt these women.
197
00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:42,820
- Why would I ever hurt these women?
- I don't know.
198
00:08:43,122 --> 00:08:44,852
- I feel like you're not getting this.
- I'm not getting it.
199
00:08:45,157 --> 00:08:46,767
Goddamn.
200
00:08:47,059 --> 00:08:49,549
Don't you look at me like that.
You certainly wouldn't be in any danger.
201
00:08:49,962 --> 00:08:51,692
- So they are in danger?
- No one's in any danger.
202
00:08:51,998 --> 00:08:53,608
How can I make that any more clear to you?
203
00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:55,160
Okay, it's an implication of danger.
204
00:08:55,401 --> 00:08:57,071
- You know what? Just drop it.
- Let's drop it.
205
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:59,450
Buy your shit and let's get out of here.
206
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,748
Oh, Charlie. Charlie, you got 'em?
207
00:09:08,147 --> 00:09:10,317
- No keys. Can't find 'em.
- What?
208
00:09:10,683 --> 00:09:13,293
- [Blubbering] I found a couple cool things.
- What?
209
00:09:13,719 --> 00:09:15,449
- I got a tooth.
- Ooh, look at that.
210
00:09:15,755 --> 00:09:17,775
- It's like a horse's tooth or something.
- Ah, yeah.
211
00:09:18,124 --> 00:09:19,494
And look at this bullet.
212
00:09:19,759 --> 00:09:21,689
Ooh! This is a war relic.
213
00:09:22,028 --> 00:09:23,548
This could be valuable.
214
00:09:23,829 --> 00:09:26,439
What the hell happened down there?
Some kind of horse massacre?
215
00:09:26,866 --> 00:09:28,766
- Could be.
- Could be, right?
216
00:09:29,101 --> 00:09:30,561
- Yeah.
- There's so much cool shit down there...
217
00:09:30,836 --> 00:09:32,146
I'm gonna keep diving, looking for it.
218
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:33,835
I need a flashlight 'cause it's dark.
219
00:09:34,106 --> 00:09:36,096
Flashlight coming up.
220
00:09:36,442 --> 00:09:38,372
Just toss it to me real quick.
221
00:09:38,711 --> 00:09:42,141
- Come on, man.
- I throw overhand, Charlie. Ooh.
222
00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:44,142
-
[Stereo: Hip-hop]- [Man]
Stop
223
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:45,757
Drop
224
00:09:46,018 --> 00:09:47,448
Shut 'em downOpen up shop
225
00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:50,060
-
Oh
- What the hell are you doing in here?
226
00:09:50,456 --> 00:09:51,916
Aw, just throwing all these old, like...
227
00:09:52,191 --> 00:09:55,031
dolls and compasses
and hair brushes and shit overboard.
228
00:09:55,494 --> 00:09:57,014
Mac and Dennis are making me clean up.
229
00:09:57,296 --> 00:10:00,866
- Well, this is a shit-hole, isn't it?
- Yeah.
230
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:03,604
- Maybe we should gut it.
- All right.
231
00:10:03,970 --> 00:10:05,280
Let's see. Ooh.
232
00:10:05,538 --> 00:10:07,708
Ah! Here we go.
233
00:10:08,074 --> 00:10:10,504
Now let's see.
Start with this beautiful baby here.
234
00:10:10,910 --> 00:10:11,840
Whoa!
235
00:10:12,044 --> 00:10:13,474
Crash and burn.
236
00:10:15,247 --> 00:10:16,647
Holy mackerel.
237
00:10:18,484 --> 00:10:20,154
Die, you sucker!
238
00:10:21,387 --> 00:10:23,227
Oh, baby, look out.
239
00:10:25,391 --> 00:10:26,701
Whoa!
240
00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:28,739
That ain't good.
[Laughs]
241
00:10:32,331 --> 00:10:33,671
Whoa, Christ!
242
00:10:33,933 --> 00:10:36,243
Think about, like,
all the movies and the books...
243
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:39,356
and all the stories
of all the terrible, awful, awful things...
244
00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:41,555
that have happened
out in the middle of the ocean.
245
00:10:41,874 --> 00:10:43,714
You know, that's the stuff
that's rattling around in her head...
246
00:10:44,043 --> 00:10:46,383
informing her decision
as to whether she sleeps with me or not.
247
00:10:46,779 --> 00:10:48,509
That's all I'm saying.
It's not like a big thing or...
248
00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:50,514
Uh-huh.
249
00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:52,156
[Sighs]
Look, I need you to understand this, okay?
250
00:10:52,418 --> 00:10:54,758
- You're making it seem like I'm some sort of monster.
- Yeah, okay.
251
00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:57,114
Hey, wha...
What is going on in there?
252
00:10:57,456 --> 00:10:59,766
- Like this?
- It's more like a rolling sway.
253
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:01,909
What the hell are you guys doing in here?
254
00:11:02,228 --> 00:11:04,888
Oh, my God.
What the hell did you do to our boat?
255
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:07,731
- Uh, we were cleaning it.
- Wow, wow, wow. What's that all about?
256
00:11:08,134 --> 00:11:10,094
You're just breaking
everything in this boat.
257
00:11:10,436 --> 00:11:12,746
You were supposed to be fixing it up
and making it look nice.
258
00:11:13,139 --> 00:11:14,719
- [Dee Groans]
- Crew meeting! Crew meeting!
259
00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:16,737
- Where is Charlie?
- He's in the water.
260
00:11:17,043 --> 00:11:18,713
What is he doing in the water?
261
00:11:20,946 --> 00:11:22,436
[Dennis]
Charlie.
262
00:11:22,715 --> 00:11:24,055
- What are you doing?
- Oh, hey, guys, come here.
263
00:11:24,316 --> 00:11:26,626
You are not going to believe
how much cool shit is under the boat.
264
00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:28,769
There's like a whole
world of ancient stuff.
265
00:11:29,088 --> 00:11:30,898
There was a horse massacre
in the Revolutionary time...
266
00:11:31,223 --> 00:11:32,533
and then there's like a pirate ship.
267
00:11:32,792 --> 00:11:34,842
Like, I found all these old pretty little dolls.
She's pretty, right?
268
00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:36,424
- No.
- Maybe like a brush...
269
00:11:36,662 --> 00:11:38,092
- Like a pirate was brushing his hair...
- No!
270
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:39,734
killed a horse and then
jumped in the ocean.
271
00:11:39,999 --> 00:11:42,169
Goddamn it!
I've been cleaning up in there for hours...
272
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:45,085
throwing this shit overboard,
and you're just dragging it all back up.
273
00:11:45,504 --> 00:11:47,114
You've been dumping the trash in the ocean?
274
00:11:47,406 --> 00:11:49,746
Wait, wait. Why are you
swimming in the water in the first place?
275
00:11:50,142 --> 00:11:51,842
- He dropped the keys in the water.
- I did not.
276
00:11:52,144 --> 00:11:54,134
All right, first of all,
he threw the keys at me overhand.
277
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:55,790
You should have seen this throw.
278
00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:57,598
We leave you guys alone for 45 minutes...
279
00:11:57,883 --> 00:11:59,963
and you destroy the interior of the boat,
you lose the keys...
280
00:12:00,319 --> 00:12:01,749
I can get those keys.
281
00:12:02,021 --> 00:12:04,361
I need you guys to buy some scuba equipment
so I can stay down there longer.
282
00:12:04,757 --> 00:12:06,717
Do you realize how much money
scuba equipment costs?
283
00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:09,199
No. Rent the cheap stuff.
Just rent some cheap stuff, all right?
284
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,462
In the meantime,
we'll clear all this stuff off.
285
00:12:11,797 --> 00:12:13,437
We'll start to paint, all right?
286
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:18,183
By the time you guys come back, I promise you,
I promise, the boat will be looking better.
287
00:12:20,806 --> 00:12:23,206
I can't tell. Is he patronizing me again?
I can't even tell anymore.
288
00:12:23,609 --> 00:12:26,069
No. What he's saying is really stupid,
but it's sincere, okay?
289
00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:28,589
It's sincere this time.
You're just a little sensitive to it now.
290
00:12:28,948 --> 00:12:31,198
- Sorry, Charlie.
- I'm sorry too.
291
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:33,454
That was patronizing!
You can't patronize your captain.
292
00:12:33,786 --> 00:12:35,096
- Come on. Come on.
- That's a sea law.
293
00:12:41,827 --> 00:12:43,137
Yo, dude.
294
00:12:43,395 --> 00:12:45,145
You realize
how much boating equipment costs?
295
00:12:45,464 --> 00:12:46,864
It's crazy. It's astronomical.
296
00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:48,773
I can't believe how much
they charge for this shit.
297
00:12:49,068 --> 00:12:52,058
You know, Dee,
Frank and Charlie are driving me crazy.
298
00:12:52,538 --> 00:12:54,028
We're spending all of our dick towel money.
299
00:12:54,306 --> 00:12:55,946
They're throwing keys into the water
and losing everything.
300
00:12:56,242 --> 00:12:57,702
You're not even listening to me.
301
00:12:57,977 --> 00:13:00,027
No, I heard you.
You said a bunch of words. Look at this.
302
00:13:00,379 --> 00:13:03,129
- What is that?
- It's like some kind of dock party mixer, dude.
303
00:13:03,582 --> 00:13:05,452
It's a flyer.
Look at these chicks. And an anchor.
304
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,275
Dude, that's what we need to be doing.
305
00:13:07,553 --> 00:13:10,133
We need to mix it up at mixers with
other boat people and living the lifestyle.
306
00:13:10,556 --> 00:13:11,696
You're right. Okay, cool.
307
00:13:11,924 --> 00:13:13,674
- And then we'll be back in the high life again.
- Yeah.
308
00:13:13,993 --> 00:13:16,603
- Like Stevie Nicks.
- That's actually Steve Winwood.
309
00:13:17,029 --> 00:13:19,549
- Right. Same dude, right?
- It's not the same dude.
310
00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:21,425
Actually, one's not even a dude.
311
00:13:21,700 --> 00:13:23,010
- Are you sure?
- Yeah, I'm sure.
312
00:13:23,269 --> 00:13:25,139
It doesn't matter, dude.
I love that song. Let's buy that CD.
313
00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:26,931
Well, first of all, I love that song too.
314
00:13:27,206 --> 00:13:28,376
That's why I already own the CD.
315
00:13:28,607 --> 00:13:30,657
I own all of Steve Winwood's shit.
You should know this.
316
00:13:31,010 --> 00:13:32,880
Secondly, we have not been
on the same page all day.
317
00:13:33,212 --> 00:13:35,202
We can't be spending money
on CDs that I already own.
318
00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:37,008
We're spending too much money as it is.
319
00:13:37,283 --> 00:13:39,563
It's bad enough I let you buy that
stupid inflatable guy from the car lot.
320
00:13:39,952 --> 00:13:43,462
- [Woman]
Wanna get dirty
-
[Man Rapping]
321
00:13:44,023 --> 00:13:45,723
Stop it!
322
00:13:46,025 --> 00:13:48,135
Stop it! Goddamn it, don't!
323
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:50,074
It's not the puffy guy. It's this music...
324
00:13:50,362 --> 00:13:52,002
- This aggressive music you're playing.
- Huh?
325
00:13:52,298 --> 00:13:53,698
This is not boat music.
326
00:13:53,966 --> 00:13:55,666
It's got nothing to do with the music.
327
00:13:55,968 --> 00:13:57,808
Listen to me. Listen to me!
328
00:13:58,137 --> 00:14:00,327
I'm turning it off.
329
00:14:00,706 --> 00:14:02,046
Riled you up.
330
00:14:02,308 --> 00:14:04,268
- Yo, you guys.
- Look at you... Fighting with a green guy.
331
00:14:04,610 --> 00:14:07,270
You're never going to believe what I just
found floating off the end of the boat.
332
00:14:07,713 --> 00:14:10,613
Okay, I'm scraping those little
delicious oysters off the bottom, right?
333
00:14:11,083 --> 00:14:13,193
- Why is this turned off?
- You're back. You don't even...
334
00:14:13,552 --> 00:14:15,102
I got to say, guys, I'm very impressed.
335
00:14:15,387 --> 00:14:18,047
The boat's really starting to come along.
I didn't think you guys had it in you.
336
00:14:18,490 --> 00:14:21,420
There's a couple more brushes here
and a little paint.
337
00:14:21,894 --> 00:14:24,234
Get to work.
We'll do the trim and then we'll be done.
338
00:14:24,630 --> 00:14:26,680
Us? Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
339
00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:28,492
We're not going to be doing any of that.
340
00:14:28,767 --> 00:14:30,497
You're not gonna be doing any of that?
What do you mean?
341
00:14:30,803 --> 00:14:32,353
We're not gonna be doing any of the work.
342
00:14:32,638 --> 00:14:34,388
That's what you guys are doing.
That was the whole deal.
343
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,517
- No, we got a party to get ready for.
- Yeah.
344
00:14:36,842 --> 00:14:39,272
We're going to do all the work
while you guys go to a party?
345
00:14:39,678 --> 00:14:41,698
- We got to socialize.
- I could socialize.
346
00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:43,357
Uh, no. Not looking like you're looking.
347
00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:45,606
You're covered in paint and dirt
and grime and all kinds of shit.
348
00:14:45,951 --> 00:14:48,001
Your skin looks like leather
and you got blisters all over your lips.
349
00:14:48,354 --> 00:14:49,814
[Dennis]
You guys look absolutely terrible.
350
00:14:50,089 --> 00:14:51,609
Well, we're out of here.
351
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:53,031
So, Charlie...
352
00:14:53,259 --> 00:14:54,809
there's your, uh... here's your scuba gear.
353
00:14:55,094 --> 00:14:57,284
Find the keys. Just find 'em.
354
00:14:57,663 --> 00:14:59,973
Oh, guys... Keep up the good work.
355
00:15:00,366 --> 00:15:02,506
See, now they flipped it around.
356
00:15:02,868 --> 00:15:04,478
They're patronizing us.
357
00:15:04,770 --> 00:15:06,410
They're absolutely patronizing us, Frank.
358
00:15:06,705 --> 00:15:09,255
But don't take it to heart, 'cause I got
something that's going to cheer you up.
359
00:15:09,675 --> 00:15:11,845
- What?
- Guess who found the keys.
360
00:15:12,211 --> 00:15:13,581
- The keys!
- You found the keys!
361
00:15:13,846 --> 00:15:15,926
They were just floating under the boat.
They got a little floaty thing.
362
00:15:16,282 --> 00:15:18,562
This is amazing, by the way...
these floaty things. We should patent this.
363
00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:22,964
[Radio: Country]
364
00:15:23,222 --> 00:15:25,882
[Dennis] Okay, I think this is it.
Now this is much more our speed.
365
00:15:26,325 --> 00:15:28,285
These are the kind of people
we should be hanging out with.
366
00:15:28,627 --> 00:15:30,557
Man, now this is a boat.
[Laughs]
367
00:15:30,896 --> 00:15:32,206
[Mac]
Ahoy, ahoy.
368
00:15:32,464 --> 00:15:34,394
Hi. Hi. A couple of fellow yachters.
369
00:15:34,733 --> 00:15:37,043
Saw your flyer at the boat... store.
370
00:15:37,436 --> 00:15:38,696
[Mac]
Oh.
371
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,578
Do-Do we have the wrong yacht?
372
00:15:40,873 --> 00:15:42,393
No, no, no.
Come on in. Grab a drink.
373
00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:44,015
We're just getting warmed up.
374
00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:46,906
- Okay.
- Sure. We'll just... [Mutters]
375
00:15:47,346 --> 00:15:48,656
Yeah.
376
00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:53,066
- Uh, can I talk to you for a second?
- Yeah.
377
00:15:53,419 --> 00:15:55,669
Um, this isn't the crowd I was expecting.
378
00:15:56,055 --> 00:15:58,365
These guys are more barnacle covered
and sunburned than Dee and Frank.
379
00:15:58,757 --> 00:16:00,277
Let's not rush to judgment, okay?
380
00:16:00,559 --> 00:16:02,079
These are real men of the sea.
381
00:16:02,361 --> 00:16:04,001
Maybe this whole thing
isn't about meeting girls.
382
00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:07,106
Maybe it's about having an adventure,
you know? An open-ocean adventure.
383
00:16:07,566 --> 00:16:09,906
Take a look at this guy.
How'd he lose that hand?
384
00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:12,702
I bet you it was
some kind of crazy adventure, right?
385
00:16:13,105 --> 00:16:14,415
Let's find out.
386
00:16:14,673 --> 00:16:16,373
- Yeah.
- Let's go talk to him.
387
00:16:19,211 --> 00:16:21,431
Hey, bro, how'd you lose that hand?
388
00:16:23,282 --> 00:16:24,982
Diabetes.
389
00:16:25,284 --> 00:16:26,954
Oh.
390
00:16:27,252 --> 00:16:28,562
Um...
391
00:16:30,222 --> 00:16:31,862
That's not, uh, much of
an adventure, is it?
392
00:16:32,157 --> 00:16:34,377
- Mmm.
- Kind of tragic.
393
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:36,900
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
394
00:16:38,464 --> 00:16:40,134
You know, we'll let you get back to...
395
00:16:40,432 --> 00:16:42,132
We're gonna go over to the bar
and grab a drink.
396
00:16:42,434 --> 00:16:45,044
I'd offer to pour you a drink,
but you probably can't drink though...
397
00:16:45,471 --> 00:16:46,781
with the, uh...
398
00:16:48,207 --> 00:16:49,937
- Diabetes.
- diabetes.
399
00:16:52,644 --> 00:16:54,224
- Uh, yeah.
- Yeah.
400
00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:56,653
[Inhales]
401
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,476
Okay, you know what? I was wrong, dude.
402
00:16:58,751 --> 00:17:00,831
- This is a bummer.
- Yeah, this is a major bummer.
403
00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:02,996
Let's get the hell out of here.
What do you say?
404
00:17:03,322 --> 00:17:06,012
Hey, guys, thanks for everything.
I think we're just gonna take off though.
405
00:17:06,458 --> 00:17:08,158
No, no, no, no. Don't do that.
406
00:17:08,460 --> 00:17:09,980
We're just getting warmed up.
407
00:17:10,262 --> 00:17:11,492
We're going to set sail soon...
408
00:17:11,730 --> 00:17:13,660
and we're going to have
a couple of tasty treats out there.
409
00:17:13,999 --> 00:17:16,929
- It's going to get nuts out there, fellas, right?
- [Men Laughing]
410
00:17:17,403 --> 00:17:20,503
We're going to be out on open ocean, right?
411
00:17:21,006 --> 00:17:23,666
Huh? Anything can happen out there.
412
00:17:25,277 --> 00:17:27,827
No laws. Right, boys?
413
00:17:28,247 --> 00:17:31,087
Just us and our tasty treats.
[Clicks Teeth]
414
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:34,131
[Men Laughing]
415
00:17:34,486 --> 00:17:36,326
- That was an implication, right?
- That was definitely the implication.
416
00:17:36,655 --> 00:17:37,965
Tasty treats? Are we the tasty treats?
417
00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:39,683
We're the tasty treats in this scenario.
418
00:17:39,958 --> 00:17:41,568
They're gonna take us out
into the open ocean.
419
00:17:41,860 --> 00:17:43,730
They're gonna have their way with us.
We gotta get out of here.
420
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:45,433
- Is this how you wanted those women to feel?
- No.
421
00:17:45,697 --> 00:17:47,627
You know what? I don't enjoy
having this conversation with you.
422
00:17:47,966 --> 00:17:49,366
I feel like you're lumping me in with them.
423
00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:51,855
Now, gentlemen,
the moment you've all been waiting for.
424
00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:54,927
- [Man] Whoo! Yeah.
- The ladies have arrived.
425
00:17:55,374 --> 00:17:59,294
[Steve Winwood]
I'll be
back in the high life again
426
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:02,542
All the doors I closed one time
427
00:18:02,981 --> 00:18:04,851
Will open up again
428
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:08,862
I'll be back in the high life-
429
00:18:09,221 --> 00:18:11,241
Oh, Frank, you were absolutely right.
430
00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:13,020
This is boat music.
431
00:18:13,292 --> 00:18:15,982
[Frank] Yeah, this is the kind of music
you ought to listen to.
432
00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:18,978
I am learning some amazing moves
from this guy.
433
00:18:19,398 --> 00:18:21,648
[Frank Chuckles]
Yeah, you're doing great.
434
00:18:22,034 --> 00:18:23,344
You got the moves.
435
00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:25,272
Does anybody want any more catfish?
436
00:18:25,571 --> 00:18:27,761
Yo, dude, definitely give me
another one of those.
437
00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:29,450
They're delicious!
438
00:18:29,708 --> 00:18:31,988
- And you can taste that sort of endangered tang.
- That's it.
439
00:18:32,377 --> 00:18:34,867
- [Cell Phone Rings]
- Oh, hold on. I'm getting a call.
440
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:36,800
Y'ello.
441
00:18:37,082 --> 00:18:39,802
-
[Stereo: Disco]
- Hey, Charlie, did you guys ever find those keys?
442
00:18:40,252 --> 00:18:43,442
- Yeah, man, I did, actually. I did.
Can you believe that? - Okay, great.
443
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:46,006
I need you to grab Frank and Dee
and get the hell out of there...
444
00:18:46,358 --> 00:18:49,698
because we're gonna be bringing back a couple
of tasty treats, if you know what I'm saying.
445
00:18:50,229 --> 00:18:51,839
Hey, man, yeah. Absolutely.
446
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:53,681
I'll get right on that.
447
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,956
- [Frank] What?
- That's how you patronize someone right there.
448
00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:58,671
- What, what, what, what, what?
- Dennis being a dick. Don't worry about it, man.
449
00:18:59,071 --> 00:19:02,971
- This scuba equipment's broken. It's useless.
- The hell with it.
450
00:19:03,575 --> 00:19:05,505
Let's get back to shrimping.
I'm gonna toss this shit. It's crap anyway.
451
00:19:10,415 --> 00:19:11,845
Ooh, that's not good.
452
00:19:12,117 --> 00:19:16,367
Uh, hey, um, what do you do
if the boat is on fire?
453
00:19:17,022 --> 00:19:19,102
- What do you mean?
- Boat is on fire.
454
00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:21,298
- Oh, fire's getting bigger.
- [Dee] What?
455
00:19:21,627 --> 00:19:23,587
- Fire's getting big. Fire's getting big.
- Go!
456
00:19:23,929 --> 00:19:25,239
- Help!
- Holy shit!
457
00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:27,607
- Find some water.
- Find some water?
458
00:19:27,966 --> 00:19:29,276
[Frank]
What do you mean find some water?
459
00:19:29,535 --> 00:19:31,055
- There's water everywhere.
- Help!
460
00:19:31,336 --> 00:19:32,766
[Charlie]
Help us.
461
00:19:36,475 --> 00:19:39,755
I cannot wait to get you ladies
out into the sea.
462
00:19:40,279 --> 00:19:42,499
It's so much more romantic
in the middle of nowhere...
463
00:19:42,881 --> 00:19:44,841
where we can be completely alone...
464
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:47,734
and you can make rash decisions
based on fear.
465
00:19:48,153 --> 00:19:49,703
[Chuckles]
Right, Dennis?
466
00:19:49,988 --> 00:19:51,738
Uh, yeah. Yeah.
467
00:19:52,057 --> 00:19:54,017
- [Coughing]
- [Dennis] Oh...
468
00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:55,939
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
469
00:19:56,228 --> 00:19:57,458
I thought we told you guys to beat it.
470
00:19:57,696 --> 00:20:00,656
[Gasps]
Out of my way. No more Diddy boat.
471
00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:05,233
Damn catfish nipping at my heels
all the way... Endangered, my ass.
472
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:08,711
- There's a billion of them out there.
- Ugh. What the hell happened?
473
00:20:09,174 --> 00:20:10,904
That was a hell of a swim.
474
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,990
Charlie, where's the boat?
What happened to the boat?
475
00:20:13,312 --> 00:20:14,742
It's right there.
476
00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:24,350
This was a terrible investment. Whew!
477
00:21:06,465 --> 00:21:09,045
[Voices Speaking Backwards]
478
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:15,143
English - US - SDH
479
00:21:15,193 --> 00:21:19,743
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