All language subtitles for Philadelphia s05e07 The Gang Wrestles for the Troops.eng

Hulk Hogan hammering away!

Get him, Hulk!
Come on, Hulk!

Ohh!
Hulk's the man.

I have a question though.
What's going on with Hulk Hogan's hair?

It's blond, and yet it's silken
like that of a Chinese man.

Ah. Yes. That is Hulk
Hogan's signature look...

blond Chinese hair
and the skin of a hot dog.

It's awesome. The whole thing's
fake, but it's really awesome.

Fake? What the hell are you talking about?
It's not fake.

Those guys got
bashed and bloodied.

I've seen guys get pounded in the ring.
It's still fake though.

Charlie, Charlie.
I was there once.

I saw a guy pick up a trash can,
smash it into a guy's head.

- Blood went everywhere.
- Okay, what is going on here?

Oh, yeah. Right here he's
going into a state of Hulkamania.

When he's like this,
nothing can hurt him. Okay?

It's like a seizure of strength.
Yeah. Yeah.

What do we got here?
"Hey, sexy, I can't get you out of my mind."

Who's that addressed to?
Who's Soldier of Fortune?

He's just this guy I've been
chatting online with, whatever.

Oh, so that would make you Desert Rose?
Yes, it would.

Wow. What a couple of losers.

Oh! Oh, really? Well, this loser
that you're referring to...

happens to be an
American soldier in Iraq.

Back it up. Don't joke about that.
I'm not joking.

- Are you serious?
- I'm dead serious.

And his platoon's coming home this weekend,
and we're gonna hang out together,

so suck on that.

I feel terrible.
You should.

I feel terrible too, 'cause
he's gonna come back from Iraq,

and he's gonna find out
that he's been chattin' with...

No.
That's no good.

There's a high
suicide rate for these guys.

He's gonna be crushed.
This is emblematic of a bigger problem, guys.

I don't think people are proud
to be Americans anymore.

Not like we were in the '80s.

In the '80s,
we were so patriotic.

When Hogan was doing
his thing...

and we were killing Iranians
or whatever, we were proud.

There's no fanfare.
There's no parades. Oh, yeah.

- Girls are tricking troops on the Internet.
- Nobody's tricking anybody.

We gotta do something
about this,

'cause people just aren't showing
their appreciation for these guys.

We gotta show 'em the love.
We gotta do something.

Let's step it up.

Let's be the guys that do something for the troops.
Let's put on a show or something.

- All right.
- Something with a little pizzazz.

- Like a thank you for all your service.
- Yes!

Something that celebrates the troops,
celebrates America, maybe celebrates us.

I'm into that.
I know you are, dude.

And what's the best way
to celebrate America, boys?

Hulk Hogan is a man
possessed of a love of his country.

# I am a real American #

- # Fight for the rights of every man #
- 'Bout wrestling?

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah, Maniac!

- Get up, you son of a bitch!
- Yeah, Maniac!

Thanks, bud.
There you go.

So I booked this venue
for Friday night.

You got this place?
Yeah.

I told them it was for the troops.
They gave us a discount.

Ho-ho! That is what I'm
talking about, dude.

People wanna support the troops.
They don't have a venue to do it.

Yeah, how are we
gonna do that though?

None of us knows how to wrestle.
Wrong!

Charlie and I do. We used to do
backyard wrestling all the time, dude.

We were an awesome tag team.
That's right. We were the Pigeon Boys.

Pigeon Boys!

Pigeon Boys? Doesn't sound
that cool now as an adult.

You're right.
We gotta update it.

Let's be eagles, dude. That's like
patriotic and fires on all cylinders.

I feel like pigeons
are survivors though.

I'm gonna side with Dennis
on this one, bro. Yeah.

What do you say we get
this guy into the mix?

- - He's probably
got some experience.

He could show us the ropes.

Oh, um, Mr. Maniac!
Mr. Maniac!

- Mr. Maniac, excuse me.
- Somethin' I can do for you fellas?

Yeah. Absolutely.
That was a great show in there, man.

That was amazing!
Great show!

That was so awesome!
You drank your own blood.

- You were choking the guy-
- Just trying to put on a good show.

Oh, you did. No, no, no, no.
Let me do you a favor.

You're good kids, you know?
Hang on. Hang on.

What are you getting, an autograph?
No, we're good, man.

That's all right.
We don't need an autograph.

We're actually here for
a different- God bless you.

- You have a good time. You know, whale away.
- This is a parking ticket.

You bet. You have fun
with it, okay?

Actually, sir, um...

I don't know if this is too
forward to ask you this,

but we're putting
on a wrestling match...

for the troops coming home
from overseas,

and we were thinking maybe we
can get you to wrestle in it.

How much?

Ooh. We haven't discussed that.
How much?

- How much do you usually charge?
- Thirty bucks weekdays,

50 bucks weekends.

Is that it?
Reasonable.

That we can do.
Reasonable.

Yeah. Now.
Absolutely.

Now. All right. Give him some money.
Give that to him now.

I suppose- All right.
Oh, boy. That's okay.

Whoa! Yo!
Deandra! Yo! Deandra!

Yes, Frank. Yes, yes. I can hear you.
What are you doing here?

I'm gonna use the army guy to get the
word out about the wrestling match.

Why are you
dressed like that?

Well, my chat name
was Desert Rose.

So I dressed like a rose.
I'm gonna give him a rose.

And I'm gonna play "Kiss
From a Rose" by Seal.

I got a whole thing I'm doing here.
Can you please get out?

Oh. The boys and I got him a
little welcome-home gift.

Jean shorts? You bought him
a pair of jean shorts?

Yeah.
Goddamn it, Frank.

You guys are gonna have plenty of time to
ruin this for me at some point in the future.

Can you please let me
get it started first?

Hey! Desert Rose!

It's me, Ben.

It's so nice to finally meet
you in person, Desert Rose.

Yeah. Oh, no!

Because...
I'm not Desert Rose.

I, uh- I'm a friend.

I'm a friend of hers.
Great girl.

Uh, she just wanted me
to come here...

so that I could tell you...

that she wasn't gonna be
able to show up here today.

Oh, well, with the dress and
the rose, I thought that you...

You thought- Yeah. Yeah.
Well, of course you thought that.

You thought it because of
this and the- It's fine.

Don't blame yourself.

You're not- You're not dumb.
You just...

Um, so-
All right, well...

# There used to be a graying
tower alone on the sea #.

I, uh, wanna invite you
to a wrestling match.

Oh.
And, uh, the guys...

we all chipped in
to get you these, uh...

Uh, this is a coming-home present.
Uh...

There you go.

And thank you for your service.

# Baby #

# I compare you to a kiss
from a rose on the gray #

# Ooh, the more I get of you #

# The stranger it feels Yeah ##.

No! I don't give a rat's ass
about your collection agency,

and as for the $15 co-payment,
eat shit and die!

Ah, shit!

Sorry. I'm gonna
go get greased up,

and then, uh,
I'll come back and rock on.

Fifteen dollars?
He's upset about $15?

Yeah.
Smashing our phone.

Not a lot of money.
Let's move past it for now.

Let's focus on our stuff.
Let's focus on our...

The most important part of
our routine is the entrance.

Yes.
Yes. Absolutely.

Whoa!

Ahhhh! Frank, what the
hell are you doing?

Ahhh! It's my character.
I'm the Trash Man.

I come out.
I throw trash all over the ring.

And then I start
eating garbage.

And then I pick up
the trash can...

and I bash the guy on the head.

Oh, that's gonna be a disaster.
No, no.

Nobody's gonna get hurt.
I'm telling you...

Like you said, it's all fake.

But it has nothing
to do with the troops, Frank.

A 60-year-old man eating trash?
Who wants to see that?

But that's what people want.

Hey, I got something for you.
I got a character for you.

You can be the ref.

I'm not gonna be the ref.
I'm a villain. Don't you see?

Look, I got garbage, and I-

- Oh, Frank!
- That's nasty, dude.

Are you choking?

- Oh, my God. -
Throw it up in the bathroom!

- Get out of here! - Go take a break.
Go take a break.

The troops are gonna be
very happy to see that.

All right, let's get-
Look at this mess.

Let's get back to it.
Charlie...

So we're talking
about the entrances, okay?

We got a good idea.
We got a good idea.

They're gonna announce our name.
Birds of War.

I love that new name.
I love it. Yeah.

And maybe we'll do an eagle screech.
That'll be great.

And then we'll
come out of the tunnel.

We'll start a stomp, clap.
Stomp, clap.

Stomp, stomp, clap.
Stomp, clap.

And we're gonna write this great song.
It's gonna be about had badass we are.

But tell him about the- Oh, yeah.
About how we soar through the air,

how we live in a nest, how we like
to protect our eggs from predators.

And our young.
We regurgitate, dude.

Can I stop you guys for one second?
Mm-hmm.

What you just described,

that seems like we're singing
about the lifestyle of an eagle.

Yeah.
Mm-hmm.

I was under the impression that we
were presenting ourselves as birdmen,

which, to me,
is infinitely cooler...

than just sort of being a bird.
No, no, no, no, no.

It's good.
We can meet in the middle though.

We'll meet you somewhere in the middle.
That's all I ask.

I want people to be able to see
that we're not just birds.

Yeah.

Hey-hey.

Hi. Thank you for stepping
in as Desert Rose.

Ah, no problem. I've dated a lot
of disabled men in my past.

So- I enjoy the power.
Why aren't you wearing red?

I was very specific about that.
I don't do red.

Well, you look like a grape. Fine.
Then I'll be Desert Grape.

He wasn't talking to Desert Grape.
He was talking to Desert Rose.

That's very specific, and-
You know what? All right.

This is what we'll do.
I'll just put this... here.

Oh. You're sweaty. Oh. Okay.
It's humid outside.

So, uh, which one is he?
Right behind you, in the yellow.

Oh, Mama like.
Cute, right?

Did he send you any dick pics?
'Cause it could be a mess down there.

For the love of God, please
don't ask him about his dick.

Okay. Have it your way.
I'll figure it out soon enough.

And away we go.

She looks ridiculous.

Desert Rose?
Yeah.

- Hi.
- What? What the hell?

It feels so good
to finally hold you.

Uh- Uh, you're-
you're biting my lip.

Hi. Oh!
What a coincidence.

Hey, oh- Oh. You're that girl
from the bus stop. Yes, I am.

You guys are friends, right?

Mm-hmm.
Not really.

Well, tell your friend
thanks for the shorts.

They fit great.
Yeah.

Will do. So, what's...

What's the deal
with you standing?

I thought there was a
wheelchair and you were in it.

Oh, no. No. I twisted my knee
getting of a plane in Germany.

I was just trying
to stay off of it.

It's good now.
Oh!

Yes, it is.
Can I talk to you for a second?

I'll be back. What? What?
What? I changed my mind.

So move out of the way
so I can swoop in.

Uh-uh. No changeys. What?
Artemis, I'm warning you.

If you don't get out of the way,
I'm gonna bring out the big guns.

Oh, hit me with your best
shot, you stupid bitch.

Ah.

I was looking around.
I was thinking.

I- I brought some-
Ohh!

Oh.
Oh.

You just hit-
I'm sorry about that.

Just props that I was bringing.

That's not a prop though.
That's sharp razor wire.

Mr., uh, Maniac,
we were thinking...

maybe we could go a little
bit more traditional with it.

Just figure-four leg-locks, pile drivers, body slams.
Off the top rope, suplex...

No, no, no. People, that old-school
bullshit, that don't play no more.

Really? Yeah.
It's gotta be gruesome, you know?

Those people,
they like blood, you know?

I guess.
Well, guys like you...

You know what?
I love you guys.

You know,
you remind me of my kids.

You got kids, Maniac?

Nah. Not anymore.

What does that mean?

All right.
We got a problem.

What is he talking about
with his kids?

- Did he kill his kids? Is that what happened?
- He just drifted away.

And look at this.
I feel like he's living out of his car.

- He's got blankets. What is that, a
pile of laundry? - Look at this, dude.

That's just
a bucket of chestnuts.

Who has- What?
Is he foraging for his food?

I don't know. Why the hell would
you have a bucket of chestnuts?

We are dealing with a legitimate maniac now.
That is clear to me.

His mania is not confined
to the ring. Ahh!

He kept calling you the
"N" word earlier. Yeah.

I wasn't gonna bring that up.
I didn't wanna freak him out. Me?

Yes. He was calling
me the "N" word?

Yes. Every time
you turned your back.

He was like, "You stupid 'N.
' Go get me grease, 'N."'

"N" this, "N" that.
Why?

I don't know.
He has a problem with black people.

Or does he have a problem with me?
Both.

I don't know. I don't know.
Oh, my God.

Let's get rid of him. That's it.
How do you get rid of a guy like that?

I don't wanna be anywhere
in the ring with that guy.

What if we're just hype men?
We don't even go in the ring.

Yes. We let him do the wrestling.
We do not wrestle.

No. We gotta find someone
for him to wrestle though.

Right. Right.

Someone with, you know,
nothing to lose, right? Yeah.

Cricket!
What's up, Cricket?

- Cricket!
- No!

Cricket, cricket,
cricket, crickety.

What do you want from me?
We want you to wrestle...

at a wrestling match
that we're gonna throw.

No. How about that?

I'm not gonna participate in your little
games and schemes. Cricket.

It's for the troops.
Yeah.

I don't give a shit
about the troops.

Come on, man. Oh!
We're gonna pay you, bro.

We're gonna pay you.
There's pay involved.

You give a shit
about that, Cricket?

You payin'?
Yeah, man.

Oh, I see.
So, am I gonna get my ass kicked?

Ah! It's wrestling.
It's all fake.

It's relatively fake.
What happens in the ring is really up to you.

I don't feel
we're reading as eagles.

No, bro.
We look like assholes.

They didn't turn out the way that I had envisioned.
I'm getting more of a chicken vibe.

Whoo! Whoa!

What in God's name is this about?
All right.

Don't start. We're birdmen.
We're Birds of War.

Birdmen.
What do you want?

Yeah. Okay. I wanna sing "The
Star-Spangled Banner" before the match.

Yeah. Good. Sing. We don't care.
Do whatever you want.

Just get away. We're obviously
in the middle of something.

Okay?
Yeah.

Get out of here.

Wait a second, Charlie.
Do that again. That?

That looked pretty cool.
Maybe we can go with the chicken thing.

The Chicken Boys.
We're not changing the song.

We got a big problem with the Maniac.
Big problem with the Maniac.

What did he do?
Did he kill somebody?

Unpaid parking tickets.
Unpaid parking tickets?

- Maniac!
- Oh, my boys. My boys.

Ohh! Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

You know what?
Da' Maniac loves you.

Even with your fea- Wait, wait!
Even with your feathers!

Aw!
I love you!

I love you too, man.
I love you t...

Poor guy. I don't really love him.
I don't love him at all.

I'm terrified of him.
Look, you guys need a wrestler now.

We should take the Trash Man
out of retirement. No, dude!

That is not going to happen.
But we do need a wrestler.

I know. Guys, I'm thinking
maybe we should do it.

Yeah. Right? We got the costumes.
We got the passion.

We are just battling Cricket.
It's just Cricket.

Pigeon Boys, let's do this!

No, we're not the Pigeon Boys.
Birds of War.

Chicken Boys!
No.

Are we sticking with the eagles?
Yes. We're Birds of War.

Let's go with birdmen.
We don't even look like eagles.

People don't know
what kind of bird we would be.

And now the moment
you've all been waiting for.

Introducing America's...

most hated terrorist...

the Talibum!

Whoo!
A la la la la la la!

Boo to you.

America sucks!

Terrorists rule!
A la la la la!

Ladies and gentlemen,

get ready to take flight...

with the Birds of War!

Whoo!
What's up, America?

Hey, troops!
Hey, guys!

Drop a beat for us.
You ready?

Stomp, clap!
Stomp, stomp, clap!

Stomp, clap! Stomp, stomp, clap!
Come on, America!

Come on, y'all!

# Ah-ah-ah-ah The eagle's
born out of thunder #

# Ah-ah-ah-ah
He flies through the night #

# Ah-ah-ah-ah Don't you
mess with his eggs now #

# Ah-ah-ah-ah
Or you'll see us fight #

# Ah-ah-ah-ah
Yes, we have feathers #

# Ah-ah-ah-ah
But the muscles of men #

# Ah-ah-ah-ah 'Cause
we're Birds of War now #

# Ah-ah-ah-ah
But we're also men #

# Birds of War ##

They're not responding
to the pageantry at all.

The whole second verse
is completely ridiculous.

The second verse is necessary
to clarify what we are.

We're miked. We're miked.
We're not...

Our microphones are on.
Are they hearing this?

- Do the routine.
- Go.

Duck-and-roll routine!
Duck-and-roll routine!

Whoo!

No, no. Cut it. Cut it. Not that one.
I'm not doing that one.

Put the tape over it.
The other song. Okay.

- ## - This one goes
out to a very special soldier...

a Soldier of Fortune.

I'm your real Desert Rose.

That strange woman you've been
hanging out with, she's an impostor.

# Baby- #
Ahh!

- Ohh!
- Yeah, bitch!

- Ohh!
- She is a slut.

I think you broke my nose.

- Yeah, Talibum!
A la la la la la la! -

- So, what do we do?
- I think it's starting.

Yeah, all right.
Go ahead.

Jump in the ring
and fight Cricket.

Wooo!

I'm gonna get a
little bit rough with you.

Ahh!
Oh, what is that, sand?

Oh, Jesus Christ!

Ohh! Ahh!

- Come on, ref. Is that even legal?
- I didn't see nothin'.

Cricket's gone crazy, man.

We can't let the Talibum win.
All right, I got him.

Cricket, you son of a bitch.
You think you're so tough, huh? Ahh!

Stop throwing sand!
Stop!

Come on, bitch.
You want some?

If I come in there, you're just
gonna throw sand in my eyes,

so I'm gonna run away.

Ohh! A la la!
America sucks!

Terrorists rule! Yeah!

Oh!

- He got me.
- The Trash Man.

He got me with the can.
Stop. Stop.

Ah, shit.
Did I get you, Cricket?

Ohh!

Must've had an edge.

Oh.

Something in my eye.
Ah! No.

Oh, God.

# I am a real American #

# Fight for the rights
of every man #

# I am a real American #

I knew this shit wasn't fake.

# Fight for your life #

# I am a real American #

# Fight for the rights of
every man # # American #

# I am a real American #
# Oh, yeah #

# Fight for what's right
Fight for your life #

# If you hurt my friends #

# Then you hurt my pride ##

ENGLISH - US - PSDH

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