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1
00:00:47,246 --> 00:00:50,332
First time I saw this film,
was in the middle of the war.
2
00:00:50,619 --> 00:00:55,201
I remember half-way through it there was
an air raid and we all had to run for the shelter.
3
00:00:56,500 --> 00:00:59,460
I bet you all hated the Kaiser
that night eh?
4
00:01:00,089 --> 00:01:02,464
What's the matter with you you
moaning little git??
5
00:01:03,931 --> 00:01:05,585
What's the matter with...
I'll tell ya!
6
00:01:05,787 --> 00:01:08,978
Grandad, it is Christmas night
and I am stuck in here with...
7
00:01:10,136 --> 00:01:13,888
I am stuck in - here, watching
a film that the Germans tried to bomb!
8
00:01:15,117 --> 00:01:18,120
I know what you mean Rodney, I
feel exactly the same.
9
00:01:19,174 --> 00:01:20,381
I thought you liked this film.
10
00:01:20,533 --> 00:01:24,340
I do! I mean it's it's Christmas night
and I'm stuck in with you!
11
00:01:25,694 --> 00:01:26,982
Thank you very much.
12
00:01:27,161 --> 00:01:31,213
Well stop yer whining! I
don't know why you didn't go out with Del.
13
00:01:31,765 --> 00:01:33,458
He's seeing Lassie again ain't he?
14
00:01:35,486 --> 00:01:38,286
You don't wanna let Del hear
you refer to her as a dog!
15
00:01:39,385 --> 00:01:41,535
Well he must know!
16
00:01:42,270 --> 00:01:46,354
When she come back from Tenerife it
took him two weeks to get her out of quarantine!
17
00:01:50,297 --> 00:01:51,899
Was that the bell Rodney?
18
00:01:53,554 --> 00:01:55,585
It sounded very much like it
Grandfather!
19
00:01:59,984 --> 00:02:02,353
There it goes again! Whatever
could it mean?
20
00:02:03,272 --> 00:02:06,377
It means there's someone at
the door you lazy little toe-rag!
21
00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:10,170
Go on Rodney, it might
be Del popped back for something.
22
00:02:16,489 --> 00:02:18,696
I suppose you've run out of
Bob Martins again!
23
00:02:23,299 --> 00:02:25,150
- Yeah?
- Oh, good evening sir.
24
00:02:29,249 --> 00:02:32,009
I'm sorry to bother you but I
wonder if you could help me?
25
00:02:33,192 --> 00:02:34,246
Yeah, hang on.
26
00:02:34,448 --> 00:02:40,180
No, I don't mean like that!
I'm looking for a family called the Trotters.
27
00:02:40,935 --> 00:02:45,484
The Trotters?? What makes you
think the Trotters live here?
28
00:02:46,636 --> 00:02:47,988
It's written on your bell.
29
00:02:49,313 --> 00:02:52,916
Who is it? Ro...Reggie??
30
00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:56,056
Hello old 'un, how you diddling?
31
00:02:56,741 --> 00:03:01,399
- It's really you!
- It's me alright! Long time, eh?
32
00:03:02,686 --> 00:03:05,935
Too long Reg, too long!
33
00:03:06,916 --> 00:03:10,180
Oh it's good to see you, it
really is!
34
00:03:10,541 --> 00:03:12,382
You two have met before have you?
35
00:03:13,632 --> 00:03:18,499
I'm sorry, let me introduce
you. Reg, this is Rodney.
36
00:03:19,274 --> 00:03:23,290
Rodney, I'd like you to meet
your Dad.
37
00:03:32,155 --> 00:03:32,817
Right - where is he?
38
00:03:33,654 --> 00:03:34,765
Will you just calm down a bit!
39
00:03:35,082 --> 00:03:38,329
Before you go in there shouting and bawling,
just you remember, he's still our father.
40
00:03:38,779 --> 00:03:41,818
Well you and me could be spending the night in the
orphanage by the time I've finished!
41
00:03:44,190 --> 00:03:46,337
He's not the man you
remember, I promise.
42
00:03:47,206 --> 00:03:52,414
I know you've told me how he used to be a right
Jack the lad, all flashy shirts and gold cuff-links,
43
00:03:52,610 --> 00:04:00,580
a bit like...a bit like some of
the lads down the pub! But he's old now Del.
44
00:04:00,948 --> 00:04:07,573
He's disheveled, he's pathetic, he
seems sort of, frightened!
45
00:04:07,949 --> 00:04:11,090
Just bear it in mind will
you, please!
46
00:04:12,225 --> 00:04:14,472
Alright, Rodney, alright.
47
00:04:17,403 --> 00:04:20,829
Del Boy! Good to see you son.
Pour yourself a drink.
48
00:04:24,021 --> 00:04:25,717
I used to have a shirt like that.
49
00:04:26,416 --> 00:04:31,709
Yer Dad had a bath and a shave
Del, then he found he was low on clothes!
50
00:04:31,882 --> 00:04:34,162
He's gonna get bit low on teeth before
he's much older!
51
00:04:34,991 --> 00:04:36,822
Get yer things,
sling yer hook!
52
00:04:37,098 --> 00:04:39,511
Alright, if you wanna talk it
over I'm listening!
53
00:04:39,866 --> 00:04:42,167
He only wants to stay for one
night Del!
54
00:04:42,596 --> 00:04:45,948
When he closed that front door
in 1965 he closed it for good!
55
00:04:46,416 --> 00:04:47,446
Have I got any say in this?
56
00:04:47,611 --> 00:04:49,451
Let's hear what Rodney's got
to say.
57
00:04:49,617 --> 00:04:51,222
What's to be said Rodders? You
know what he's like!
58
00:04:51,383 --> 00:04:52,061
No I don't!
59
00:04:52,236 --> 00:04:53,673
Of course you do, I've told
you often enough!
60
00:04:54,124 --> 00:04:58,847
Yeah and that's all I know! I wouldn't mind
the opportunity of judging him for myself.
61
00:04:59,005 --> 00:05:02,812
I never raised a hand to your
Mother Rodney except in self-defense!
62
00:05:04,222 --> 00:05:05,197
What do you mean 'judging
him'?
63
00:05:05,343 --> 00:05:07,426
He deserted you when you
were five years old!
64
00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:10,181
And not only that. He walked out on his
own Father!
65
00:05:10,723 --> 00:05:12,732
But he's back now!
66
00:05:13,105 --> 00:05:16,047
After eighteen years! Did his watch stop?
67
00:05:17,337 --> 00:05:20,561
Stone me Rodders, we see more of
Hayley's Comet that we do with him!
68
00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:23,011
Just go will yer?
69
00:05:23,174 --> 00:05:26,448
Look, whatever you may think of
him Del, he's still my son.
70
00:05:26,878 --> 00:05:29,211
He only wants a bed for the
night!
71
00:05:29,441 --> 00:05:34,289
I don't believe it! Can't
you see what he's doing?
72
00:05:34,455 --> 00:05:36,597
He's playing on your sympathy,
he's playing on your loyalty!
73
00:05:37,166 --> 00:05:41,671
That man is evil! That is the devil
standing there!
74
00:05:42,365 --> 00:05:44,622
Don't be so stupid Del!
That's your own Father!
75
00:05:45,021 --> 00:05:48,092
Yeah, but he sold his soul for
an ounce of Old Holborn years ago!
76
00:05:49,376 --> 00:05:51,300
Give me one good reason, just
one,
77
00:05:51,470 --> 00:05:53,707
why I shouldn't chuck
you out by the scruff of the neck?
78
00:05:54,344 --> 00:05:58,090
I can't think of one Del. I'm
not proud of what I did.
79
00:05:58,338 --> 00:06:01,979
I'm ashamed - ashamed and
sorry!
80
00:06:02,875 --> 00:06:05,472
Just recently I've been
laying in that hospital bed,
81
00:06:05,652 --> 00:06:09,563
night after night, re-living
the moment I walked out of here!
82
00:06:10,851 --> 00:06:14,084
It hurts Del Boy, it
hurts!
83
00:06:14,416 --> 00:06:17,542
Hospital bed? What's wrong
with you Reggie?
84
00:06:17,739 --> 00:06:19,157
Something serious I hope!
85
00:06:19,820 --> 00:06:21,994
Just wrap up for five
minutes, would ya!
86
00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:24,134
Don't be fooled by him Rodney.
87
00:06:24,517 --> 00:06:27,582
He's had everything from
Galloping Lurgy to Saturday Night Fever!
88
00:06:29,348 --> 00:06:33,493
Once when I was a kid I was doing my homework
and I asked him what a cubic foot was.
89
00:06:33,768 --> 00:06:36,272
He said he didn't know but he tried to
have a week off work with it!
90
00:06:39,584 --> 00:06:43,566
What's wrong with you Reggie?
Come on, you and tell me and Rodney.
91
00:06:43,756 --> 00:06:49,407
Well, a few months back they took me
into hospital, just for a few routine checks.
92
00:06:49,762 --> 00:06:51,977
Jackanory Jackanory.
93
00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:54,547
I'm telling you the truth this
time Del, look!
94
00:06:59,870 --> 00:07:01,469
Newcastle Infirmary?
95
00:07:01,638 --> 00:07:03,568
I've been living up there for
the last year or so.
96
00:07:04,232 --> 00:07:05,859
What's the matter with you then?
97
00:07:07,235 --> 00:07:11,890
They discovered I had
this em, hereditary blood disease.
98
00:07:12,084 --> 00:07:15,610
It's called...well
it's a medical word!
99
00:07:15,962 --> 00:07:17,214
A long one Reggie?
100
00:07:17,537 --> 00:07:19,027
Ooh yeah Dad!
101
00:07:22,170 --> 00:07:23,423
Can they cure it?
102
00:07:23,790 --> 00:07:29,137
They're not sure! I just live
in hope. Hope's about the only thing I've got!
103
00:07:30,796 --> 00:07:38,924
Oh come on... Dad! These
doctors can perform miracles nowadays.
104
00:07:40,359 --> 00:07:45,109
You just gotta be brave?
Just be...Hereditary??
105
00:07:48,878 --> 00:07:52,778
You said it was hereditary! That
means I could have it.
106
00:07:57,589 --> 00:07:58,897
And me!!
107
00:08:00,222 --> 00:08:03,014
Yes. Well this is half the
reason I dashed down here!
108
00:08:03,178 --> 00:08:06,029
The doctor said I had to warn my
children immediately!
109
00:08:06,230 --> 00:08:08,778
What have they got to do? Go
for blood tests?
110
00:08:09,028 --> 00:08:15,059
As soon as possible! I've done
me best by you this time ain't I Del Boy?
111
00:08:15,466 --> 00:08:17,149
Yeah. Thanks!
112
00:08:19,059 --> 00:08:25,226
I'm feeling a bit weak. I
think I'll climb in. 'Night boys.
113
00:08:25,881 --> 00:08:31,538
- 'Night!
- And Merry Christmas.
114
00:08:37,028 --> 00:08:38,880
Will I have to have
blood tests as well?
115
00:08:39,237 --> 00:08:43,004
No, it's hereditary, it means
it's passed on not back!
116
00:08:48,394 --> 00:08:50,341
You're most probably the
carrier!
117
00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:54,909
What a right blinding
Christmas this has turned out to be!
118
00:08:55,853 --> 00:09:01,156
Some people get wise men bearing gifts
we get a wally with a disease!
119
00:09:04,372 --> 00:09:07,342
You two better get down to that hospital
straight away after the holidays.
120
00:09:07,722 --> 00:09:10,499
Yeah, but with these National
Health cuts we could wait for ever!
121
00:09:11,805 --> 00:09:14,358
I'll give Dr
Becker a ring first thing in the morning.
122
00:09:14,699 --> 00:09:16,357
He's not gonna see us on
Boxing Day!
123
00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:18,175
Oh yes he will! He owes me a
favour.
124
00:09:18,386 --> 00:09:22,230
His ten-year-old son thinks the bike that
he got for Christmas came off the back of a sleigh.
125
00:09:22,427 --> 00:09:27,978
Mister Becker and I know better! Just a minute,
where's he sleeping?
126
00:09:29,103 --> 00:09:30,037
I offered him my bed.
127
00:09:33,290 --> 00:09:36,126
You're a great big softy
ain't yer!
128
00:09:36,381 --> 00:09:38,490
Well, he's not very well and
all.
129
00:09:39,136 --> 00:09:41,155
You'd have done exactly
the same thing wouldn't you?
130
00:09:42,367 --> 00:09:43,520
Yeah, of course I would!
131
00:09:44,289 --> 00:09:47,365
Good, 'cos he turned my bed
down and chose yours! Nite!
132
00:09:56,934 --> 00:09:58,601
Where's the ghost of Christmas
past?
133
00:09:59,467 --> 00:10:00,549
He ain't here Del.
134
00:10:00,854 --> 00:10:01,732
You mean he's gone?
135
00:10:01,922 --> 00:10:04,272
Only down the pub for the New
Year's Eve do.
136
00:10:04,444 --> 00:10:05,905
Oh, I thought it was too good
to be true.
137
00:10:06,559 --> 00:10:09,204
You talk about your father
as if he is an alien.
138
00:10:09,495 --> 00:10:12,238
You seem to think of him as ET.
139
00:10:12,675 --> 00:10:16,802
No I don't Grandad, ET went
home!
140
00:10:18,879 --> 00:10:20,923
A couple of letters arrived
for you two.
141
00:10:21,094 --> 00:10:23,417
I think it's the results of your
tests!
142
00:10:28,788 --> 00:10:30,063
Oi, these have been opened!
143
00:10:30,274 --> 00:10:31,683
Your Dad must have done that.
144
00:10:31,878 --> 00:10:32,782
Well the saucy git...
145
00:10:32,988 --> 00:10:36,070
You can't blame him Del! I
suppose he was too worried to wait for you!
146
00:10:36,496 --> 00:10:41,293
Yeah, well alright then! Well
go on then Rodney, see what yours says.
147
00:10:53,871 --> 00:10:58,562
All clear! All clear! I got an
all clear my son!
148
00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:03,483
Well don't
look too cheerful about it Del!
149
00:11:04,093 --> 00:11:06,016
I haven't seen mine yet have I?
150
00:11:06,224 --> 00:11:07,598
Oh no, sorry!
151
00:11:11,845 --> 00:11:13,605
What - what's it say Del?
152
00:11:14,981 --> 00:11:25,821
The results of my tests
...are negative!
153
00:11:34,438 --> 00:11:35,853
Negative?
154
00:11:37,396 --> 00:11:39,654
Well that means all clear as well you
plonker!
155
00:11:44,148 --> 00:11:45,200
Does it??
156
00:11:46,300 --> 00:11:48,984
I thought it was a medical
term for curtains!
157
00:11:50,791 --> 00:11:53,242
Why don't they bloody
say all clear then?
158
00:11:53,519 --> 00:11:55,929
Oh who cares? We'll
have a drink to celebrate?
159
00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:57,312
Yeah I need something Rodders!
160
00:11:57,469 --> 00:11:58,604
Right, I'll go'n get changed.
161
00:12:02,099 --> 00:12:03,283
That's funny!
162
00:12:04,266 --> 00:12:08,602
Your blood group's AB -
Rodney's is just A.
163
00:12:09,342 --> 00:12:11,116
We both have the same blood,
don't we?
164
00:12:11,297 --> 00:12:12,478
That's what I thought!
165
00:12:13,644 --> 00:12:15,479
Giss 'em here!
166
00:12:18,343 --> 00:12:23,147
My blood group is AB...
and Rodney's blood group is A!
167
00:12:26,085 --> 00:12:30,050
Well, how's did that wally
manage to get himself a different blood group?
168
00:12:30,508 --> 00:12:32,967
We're brothers aren't we?
We both have the same blood!
169
00:12:33,166 --> 00:12:36,680
We both had the same mother,
and we both got the same fath...er!!
170
00:12:40,841 --> 00:12:44,974
Are you suggesting Rodney's
got a different dad?
171
00:12:45,331 --> 00:12:50,677
I'm saying nothing! But I
always remember Maisie Turner!
172
00:12:52,987 --> 00:12:54,878
Maisie Turner! Who the hell's
Maisie Turner?
173
00:12:55,456 --> 00:12:57,237
She married Bernie. Remember
Bernie?
174
00:12:57,410 --> 00:12:59,514
Used to pull the stall
out down the market.
175
00:12:59,729 --> 00:13:00,885
Yes I remember! What about 'em?
176
00:13:01,088 --> 00:13:02,277
Well she had two boys.
177
00:13:02,432 --> 00:13:07,056
One by Bernie, the other by some
bloke she met on a charabanc trip to the lights!
178
00:13:07,736 --> 00:13:10,566
Bernie
found out and divorced her.
179
00:13:11,256 --> 00:13:13,794
How did he find out? Blood
tests?
180
00:13:13,945 --> 00:13:16,719
No, the youngest boy was half-
caste!
181
00:13:19,418 --> 00:13:22,492
Now I ain't saying anything against yer Mum,
Gawd rest her soul.
182
00:13:22,712 --> 00:13:24,868
But if you put
two and two together...
183
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:27,868
You come up with Rodney!
184
00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:31,789
You remember just before your
Mum announced Rodney was on his way,
185
00:13:32,008 --> 00:13:34,607
she and yer Dad were
having lots of rows.
186
00:13:34,969 --> 00:13:39,102
She started going out with...new
friends.
187
00:13:39,738 --> 00:13:41,646
You mean that trumpet player
from the Locarno?
188
00:13:42,263 --> 00:13:43,898
I thought he played the saxophone!
189
00:13:44,192 --> 00:13:45,882
No that was the other one!
190
00:13:46,975 --> 00:13:49,496
I can see it all now, it's beginning to
make sense!
191
00:13:50,106 --> 00:13:54,514
Don't you remember when Rodney joined the Boys'
Brigade? He was a natural with that bugle?
192
00:13:56,942 --> 00:13:59,619
And when toy look at him Del.
I mean, he's sort of...
193
00:14:03,430 --> 00:14:04,608
...different!
194
00:14:08,390 --> 00:14:13,253
Why did this have
to happen eh? This of all things!
195
00:14:16,910 --> 00:14:17,920
Alright?
196
00:14:18,220 --> 00:14:21,254
- Yes, wonderful Rodney!
- Couldn't be better Rodney!
197
00:14:23,472 --> 00:14:24,338
What's wrong?
198
00:14:24,529 --> 00:14:27,084
No, no! Everything's
brill!
199
00:14:28,071 --> 00:14:31,361
Good! I wonder where Dad is?
200
00:14:32,379 --> 00:14:35,252
That's exactly what me and your
Grandfather were wondering...
201
00:14:36,113 --> 00:14:39,499
I mean there's no telling which pub
he'll be in now, is it?
202
00:14:47,372 --> 00:14:48,155
What?
203
00:14:48,741 --> 00:14:52,316
Just admiring the suit. Great,
I love it, it is a new one is it?
204
00:14:52,974 --> 00:14:55,705
No, I bought it five years
ago, it weren't new then!
205
00:14:57,494 --> 00:14:59,832
Come on, something's up, innit?
Are you gonna tell me?
206
00:15:00,958 --> 00:15:03,709
Oh I suppose you've got a
right to know Rodney!
207
00:15:07,395 --> 00:15:09,797
I want you to know that
it won't make a blind bit of difference!
208
00:15:10,260 --> 00:15:12,675
Everything will still stay exactly the same!
209
00:15:14,864 --> 00:15:21,607
See the thing is, Rodney,
that man you call Dad - ain't!
210
00:15:24,505 --> 00:15:27,054
- Ain't what?
- He ain't yer Dad!
211
00:15:28,726 --> 00:15:33,090
- What is it, a joke?
- No, I wish it was Rodney!
212
00:15:36,082 --> 00:15:37,986
I don't get you. Of course
he's my Dad!
213
00:15:41,629 --> 00:15:43,542
But he must be, Grandad introduced us!
214
00:15:45,928 --> 00:15:48,763
Say no more about it,
leave it at that!
215
00:15:49,014 --> 00:15:50,275
No I will not leave it at
that!
216
00:15:51,169 --> 00:15:53,892
You are trying to say
that that man is not our father?
217
00:15:54,332 --> 00:16:02,377
No he just isn't yours! You've
got a different blood group Rodney, look!
218
00:16:05,927 --> 00:16:08,229
So I've got a different blood
group, what does that prove?
219
00:16:09,764 --> 00:16:12,532
It proves you're a whodunnit.
220
00:16:13,868 --> 00:16:15,100
That's not the only thing.
221
00:16:15,468 --> 00:16:20,923
You see, just before Mum fell for you,
she'd met this, like new 'friend'!
222
00:16:21,245 --> 00:16:23,238
He was a trumpet player from the
Locarno!
223
00:16:23,779 --> 00:16:25,519
And a saxophone player!
224
00:16:25,828 --> 00:16:27,466
Yes, alright Grandad, alright.
225
00:16:30,074 --> 00:16:34,642
What are you trying to tell
me. My Dad was a band?
226
00:16:38,075 --> 00:16:43,340
No Rodney, no! Just the brass
section!
227
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,212
No I don't believe ya!
228
00:16:48,410 --> 00:16:51,245
The way you've always
described Mum she'd never do anything like that!
229
00:16:51,523 --> 00:16:55,423
She wouldn't normally! This
must have been just a one off.
230
00:16:58,838 --> 00:17:05,194
Great! I can't wait to fill in
my next passport application form.
231
00:17:06,289 --> 00:17:08,120
Mother's name: Joan
Mavis Trotter.
232
00:17:08,599 --> 00:17:11,758
Father's name:
Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass!
233
00:17:17,271 --> 00:17:18,563
Been for a drink Reggie?
234
00:17:18,796 --> 00:17:23,018
Yeah I've bin for a drink Dad.
I've got damn good reason to ain I?
235
00:17:23,317 --> 00:17:24,548
What are you moaning about
now?
236
00:17:24,730 --> 00:17:26,518
I can read Del Boy!
237
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:29,619
Earlier this morning I happen to
notice them medical reports!
238
00:17:30,552 --> 00:17:32,545
I thought that's funny, different blood groups!
239
00:17:32,747 --> 00:17:36,347
So just to be on the safe side I checked
my group with me donor's card,
240
00:17:36,503 --> 00:17:38,922
then I checked yer Grandad's
group with his old army records.
241
00:17:39,441 --> 00:17:43,757
And what do I discover? We've got a Lone
Ranger in the family!
242
00:17:44,721 --> 00:17:46,682
I'd just like to know ho the
hell Tonto was!
243
00:17:47,925 --> 00:17:50,265
If your Mother
was alive now I'd kill her!
244
00:17:50,515 --> 00:17:51,249
You what??...
245
00:17:52,710 --> 00:17:54,119
Try'n see it from my point of
view Del!
246
00:17:54,610 --> 00:17:57,126
How would you like
to have a son who you love and care for,
247
00:17:57,298 --> 00:18:01,502
who you fetch up as yer own,
only to find years later that he's a mystery?
248
00:18:01,797 --> 00:18:03,906
Waht do you mean you loved and cared for him?
249
00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:07,015
You walked out on Rodney
when he was five years old!
250
00:18:07,225 --> 00:18:09,940
You didn't care if he had
shoes on his feet or food in his belly!
251
00:18:10,096 --> 00:18:14,364
What do you keep bringing
Rodney into this for? You're the mystery!
252
00:18:23,276 --> 00:18:26,430
AB. Why?
253
00:18:27,074 --> 00:18:27,951
You alright Del?
254
00:18:28,339 --> 00:18:29,484
Eh? Yeah, I'm alright darling.
255
00:18:29,685 --> 00:18:32,149
I thought you'd have been in
last night or the New Year's Eve do!
256
00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:33,474
The rest of the family
was here.
257
00:18:33,677 --> 00:18:35,812
Were they? No, I er, I got a
bit involved elsewhere.
258
00:18:36,162 --> 00:18:37,714
Your Dad's a giggle ain't he?
259
00:18:38,011 --> 00:18:40,116
Yes Karen, that man is one
long grin!
260
00:18:40,315 --> 00:18:42,816
He got up on the stage and
started singing Adam Faith songs.
261
00:18:43,056 --> 00:18:43,717
You're kidding?
262
00:18:43,895 --> 00:18:45,858
After all these years he's still doing
the Adam Faith impression?
263
00:18:46,075 --> 00:18:47,183
He was good!
264
00:18:47,380 --> 00:18:50,803
He sang 'What do you want if you don't want
money?' and, what was the other one?
265
00:18:51,197 --> 00:18:53,391
'Someone
Else's Baby'.
266
00:18:55,932 --> 00:18:57,010
Do you want another one?
267
00:18:58,377 --> 00:19:00,290
Grand Marnier and grapefruit juice please.
268
00:19:03,012 --> 00:19:05,430
- Oh leave it out Dad!
- It's true I'm telling you!
269
00:19:06,017 --> 00:19:07,346
He still didn't know it
was you?
270
00:19:07,626 --> 00:19:12,027
He didn't have a clue. I saw
him years later and he still had the scar!
271
00:19:19,585 --> 00:19:22,301
- Alright Del?
- Yeah triffic Rodders.
272
00:19:23,606 --> 00:19:26,884
Why didn't you come down last
night for the New Year's Eve party?
273
00:19:27,563 --> 00:19:29,871
I had a bit of business to
attend to, you know what I mean...
274
00:19:31,088 --> 00:19:31,952
Can I get you a drink?
275
00:19:32,127 --> 00:19:34,744
That's nice of you, but I'm
with my family.
276
00:19:36,721 --> 00:19:38,981
Perhaps I can get yer family a
drink as well!
277
00:19:39,201 --> 00:19:43,267
Karen, give those people a large
brandy each, will yer.
278
00:19:43,619 --> 00:19:45,339
Anyway let me finish the story.
279
00:19:45,569 --> 00:19:47,122
Well I'm gonna have a chat
with Del.
280
00:19:47,352 --> 00:19:49,883
Oh! Alright Rodney - don't be
long, eh!
281
00:19:56,667 --> 00:19:58,343
You didn't come home last
night?
282
00:19:58,565 --> 00:20:00,921
No, er, I stayed the night at
Trigger's place.
283
00:20:01,764 --> 00:20:03,551
I'm fed up
with kipping on that settee.
284
00:20:04,217 --> 00:20:05,562
Is that the only reason?
285
00:20:05,796 --> 00:20:07,523
Yeah of course it is the only
reason!
286
00:20:11,693 --> 00:20:13,981
You seem to be seing a lot
of the ond man lately.
287
00:20:14,677 --> 00:20:18,469
Yeah. I think he's trying to
make up for all the lost years.
288
00:20:23,358 --> 00:20:24,729
You been out this morning?
289
00:20:26,619 --> 00:20:29,442
Yeah. He took me to the zoo.
290
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:36,542
Oh yeah...alright was it?
291
00:20:36,744 --> 00:20:40,495
Yeah, you know, animals and...
things!
292
00:20:42,064 --> 00:20:44,592
Good! Listen, I don't want to
spoil the surprise,
293
00:20:45,063 --> 00:20:48,404
but I saw him up Selfridges on Friday
looking at the Action Men!
294
00:20:52,258 --> 00:20:54,260
Why don't you just
come back home, eh Del?
295
00:20:57,048 --> 00:21:00,739
I'm not with him now. He won't let me
forget that I'm a - a Lone Ranger!
296
00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:03,816
Del he hasn't mentioned it,
honest!
297
00:21:04,002 --> 00:21:04,928
Maybe not to you,
298
00:21:05,117 --> 00:21:09,087
but every time I see him on the
landing he always shouts hi ho silver!
299
00:21:11,322 --> 00:21:14,648
D'you know, at school once,
during the biology lesson
300
00:21:14,954 --> 00:21:16,664
the subject of genetics came up,
301
00:21:16,946 --> 00:21:21,511
and the teacher said that children
with same parents can have different blood groups!
302
00:21:22,211 --> 00:21:24,997
That's alright Rodney - you're trying
to cheer me up. You're a diamond, you really are!
303
00:21:25,190 --> 00:21:26,838
No, I mean it.
304
00:21:27,583 --> 00:21:31,307
Why don't you get some advice on the
subject. Go and see Dr Becker.
305
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:33,741
- I couldn't Rodney!
- Why not?
306
00:21:33,925 --> 00:21:36,971
Because then he'd know everything, wouldn't he?
He's the family doctor.
307
00:21:38,142 --> 00:21:40,083
He treated Mum when she
was ill.
308
00:21:40,681 --> 00:21:47,368
I don't want him thinking 'that' of her!
No, I mean it's clear cut, Rodney,
309
00:21:47,544 --> 00:21:51,188
I am as the French say
oeuf sur le plat.
310
00:21:53,472 --> 00:21:56,569
The family is A, and I'm AB!
311
00:21:56,893 --> 00:22:01,617
So what does that matter? That's nothing, is it?
You're only one letter out.
312
00:22:03,637 --> 00:22:06,692
Look, the only
difference between us is a B.
313
00:22:07,769 --> 00:22:10,156
And we all know what B stands
for, don't we?
314
00:22:10,861 --> 00:22:13,731
Rodney! You gonna play cards
with us?
315
00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:17,014
Yeah, in a minute! You wanna
game?
316
00:22:17,764 --> 00:22:20,202
No not me Rodney. He'll always find a way
winding me up!
317
00:22:20,526 --> 00:22:21,850
No he won't Del!
318
00:22:24,155 --> 00:22:28,042
Look, if you just sit over here on your own
he's gonna think he's beaten you!
319
00:22:29,866 --> 00:22:33,383
C'mon. He who dares wins!
320
00:22:39,154 --> 00:22:41,079
Yeah, OK, come on.
321
00:22:43,089 --> 00:22:48,410
Take a seat Rodney...oh, does
your friend want to play as well?
322
00:22:49,138 --> 00:22:50,884
Now just lay off him
Reg!
323
00:22:51,242 --> 00:22:53,064
Don't you say nothing to annoy me!
324
00:22:53,252 --> 00:22:55,926
Oh as if I would! He's touchy
ain't he?
325
00:22:56,762 --> 00:23:00,726
Don't know who he gets it from. Right, what
shall we play?
326
00:23:01,032 --> 00:23:03,615
Before you say it, no, we don't
wanna play Happy Families!
327
00:23:04,795 --> 00:23:07,159
Alright. We'll play Pontoon...
328
00:23:07,494 --> 00:23:10,287
Dad, Rodney,
Kimasabi.
329
00:23:18,667 --> 00:23:20,107
You got any money Rodney?
330
00:23:20,511 --> 00:23:22,306
I gave you my last fiver this
morning.
331
00:23:22,478 --> 00:23:23,352
Dad?
332
00:23:23,521 --> 00:23:24,504
You know I'm skint!
333
00:23:24,699 --> 00:23:26,354
Well why didn't you nip Del
for a few quid?
334
00:23:26,534 --> 00:23:28,623
I can't ask Del for money
after what's happened!
335
00:23:28,909 --> 00:23:32,354
No I don't suppose you can!
Rodney could!
336
00:23:34,741 --> 00:23:36,936
Alright Grandad, Rodders.
337
00:23:37,380 --> 00:23:41,009
Evening Reginald! Grandad do me a favour.
Stick me a pizza under the grill.
338
00:23:41,308 --> 00:23:42,545
You in for the night Del?
339
00:23:42,786 --> 00:23:44,486
Yes I'm in for the night!
340
00:23:44,688 --> 00:23:45,518
Good!
341
00:23:45,702 --> 00:23:47,972
We can all have a family sing-
song together this evening.
342
00:23:49,175 --> 00:23:51,034
You can join in if you like!
343
00:24:00,544 --> 00:24:01,833
What's up with you?
344
00:24:02,299 --> 00:24:04,825
Well, earlier on I showed him
my GCE certificates.
345
00:24:06,343 --> 00:24:07,938
He said he was proud of me!
346
00:24:09,598 --> 00:24:12,308
Then he went and wrote a bet on the
back of one of 'em!
347
00:24:13,245 --> 00:24:19,941
He wrote a bet on the back of one of your GCE's?
That man is the devil Rodney!
348
00:24:20,302 --> 00:24:21,809
I'm beginning to think you're
right!
349
00:24:21,985 --> 00:24:24,097
I know one thing, you were
right!
350
00:24:24,899 --> 00:24:25,929
Was I?
351
00:24:26,153 --> 00:24:28,111
Oh yes. I took your advice.
352
00:24:28,478 --> 00:24:33,069
Good! What advice was that then?
353
00:24:34,553 --> 00:24:35,665
I'll tell you in a minute!
354
00:24:35,876 --> 00:24:37,659
Well there were four in there
earlier!
355
00:24:37,851 --> 00:24:39,264
Yeah, and you drunk 'em all!
356
00:24:39,790 --> 00:24:43,603
You don't fancy popping down the off-licence
and get a few drinks in do you Del?
357
00:24:43,803 --> 00:24:44,796
No!
358
00:24:46,138 --> 00:24:51,736
No I'm off the drink for the
moment. I went and saw Dr Becker this evening.
359
00:24:52,669 --> 00:24:55,460
Yeah? Why what's wrong with
you Del?
360
00:24:56,080 --> 00:25:00,509
Well, for the last week or so
I've been suffering from this pain in the arse!
361
00:25:02,997 --> 00:25:05,310
So I asked doctor Becker if he'd give me another
blood test, you know
362
00:25:05,514 --> 00:25:07,034
just in sort of, double check it.
363
00:25:07,233 --> 00:25:10,327
But he said there was no need to, because,
you were absolutely right Rodney,
364
00:25:11,215 --> 00:25:13,659
a person's blood group doesn't
make a blind bit difference.
365
00:25:14,185 --> 00:25:16,283
A mother and father could have three
children,
366
00:25:16,650 --> 00:25:19,574
and each one of those kids
could have a completely different blood group!
367
00:25:19,785 --> 00:25:22,248
That's rubbish! I mean what
does he know anyway?
368
00:25:23,011 --> 00:25:27,158
Oh he knows quite a lot! Like he
knows that my blood group is group A!
369
00:25:27,392 --> 00:25:29,941
Well why's he written AB on
the results?
370
00:25:30,138 --> 00:25:33,728
He didn't Grandad! Somebody added
the B!
371
00:25:34,491 --> 00:25:36,771
Now I wonder who could have
done that??
372
00:25:37,056 --> 00:25:39,887
Well it must have been someone
at the clinic having a joke!
373
00:25:40,229 --> 00:25:42,900
I mean the letters arrived by
post. The envelopes were sealed!
374
00:25:43,131 --> 00:25:44,427
Until you opened 'em!
375
00:25:44,609 --> 00:25:47,345
I was only trying to make sure
that you two didn't have the same...
376
00:25:48,153 --> 00:25:49,916
...illness as me!
377
00:25:50,499 --> 00:25:54,329
Oh yeah, Dr Becker was very
interested in your 'blood disorder'.
378
00:25:55,241 --> 00:25:58,880
So he phoned up Newcastle Infirmary to
find out exactly what was wrong with it.
379
00:25:59,068 --> 00:26:01,034
- And what do you reckon?
- They'd never heard of him!
380
00:26:01,248 --> 00:26:04,368
- Now how'd you know that Rodney?
- I must be clairvoyant Del!
381
00:26:06,049 --> 00:26:08,286
You see, they ran your name through
their computer
382
00:26:08,729 --> 00:26:11,441
They found they didn't
have a patient called Trotter.
383
00:26:12,715 --> 00:26:15,307
But, they did have a porter called
Trotter!
384
00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:22,372
But he left two weeks ago with 57 blankets,
133 pair of rubber gloves
385
00:26:22,871 --> 00:26:25,965
and the chief gynaecologist's Lambretta!
386
00:26:30,103 --> 00:26:31,859
I don't feel all that well!
387
00:26:32,062 --> 00:26:36,277
I mentioned that to Dr Becker, and you know
what he suggested: Plenty of fresh air
388
00:26:36,611 --> 00:26:43,667
new surroundings and lots of
exercise - like take a long...brisk...walk!
389
00:26:43,990 --> 00:26:46,649
Did he? Yeah maybe he's right.
390
00:26:46,894 --> 00:26:49,562
Is that the time? I really
must be on my way!
391
00:26:50,066 --> 00:26:50,817
So soon?
392
00:26:51,001 --> 00:26:56,811
Don't wanna outstay me welcome
Del! I'll...I'll get my things together.
393
00:27:17,161 --> 00:27:18,657
The dirty, conniving little...!
394
00:27:18,846 --> 00:27:24,460
Alright Grandad, alright. Listen, I'll tell you what.
I hid a bottle of scotch underneath the sink.
395
00:27:24,981 --> 00:27:26,610
Good boy Del.
396
00:27:28,691 --> 00:27:33,728
I'm glad he's gone! Made it
a right miserable Christmas for all of us.
397
00:27:34,778 --> 00:27:37,042
It'a alright Rodney. All over now.
398
00:27:38,196 --> 00:27:41,485
Don't worry. We'll all soone be back
to just the way we were.
399
00:27:41,758 --> 00:27:45,160
Del Boy, I've burnt yer pizza!
400
00:27:48,106 --> 00:27:49,940
See what I mean!
401
00:27:54,426 --> 00:27:58,250
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