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1
00:00:39,268 --> 00:00:40,933
No, they're beautiful ain't
they? They're beautiful.
2
00:00:41,453 --> 00:00:45,182
And listen, I don't care whether your nipper
has got measles, mumps or a scabby eye,
3
00:00:45,544 --> 00:00:48,855
because these are guaranteed to bring
a smile right back on his face.
4
00:00:49,119 --> 00:00:51,890
Now listen, gather round everybody.
Listen to me, now listen ladies,
5
00:00:52,047 --> 00:00:54,865
I want to tell you something, please don't
let it go any further because I'm afraid
6
00:00:55,030 --> 00:00:58,098
I might be in breach of the Official Secrets
Act. Right.
7
00:00:58,283 --> 00:01:04,175
I happen to know that little Prince William has one
of these little fluffy toys in his nursery in Buck House;
8
00:01:04,364 --> 00:01:05,444
now I'll tell you how
I know, shall I?
9
00:01:05,641 --> 00:01:10,728
Because his dad gave me a bell last week
and he said 'Del Boy - Del Boy,' he said,
10
00:01:10,907 --> 00:01:16,309
'I'm in right lumber, the enemy's doing her
pieces because I've forgotten Spud's Birthday.'
11
00:01:16,476 --> 00:01:20,191
Now Spud happens to be the nickname for
the little Prince William. So what do I do?
12
00:01:20,379 --> 00:01:25,052
I walloped straight round there with one of these.
And it was end of aggravation, end of story.
13
00:01:25,322 --> 00:01:28,789
Now they come complete with batteries,
they're fully house trained.
14
00:01:28,958 --> 00:01:30,555
Whoops. That one isn't, never mind.
15
00:01:30,752 --> 00:01:33,879
They are not made in Taiwan and these
are not made in Hon Kong.
16
00:01:34,044 --> 00:01:37,123
These are 'Made in Burma'.
What can't speak, can't lie...
17
00:01:40,883 --> 00:01:45,619
Now, I'm not going to mess about with coppers,
now that's a Freudian slip, so I'm not asking for 14 quid,
18
00:01:45,835 --> 00:01:49,881
I'm not gonna ask for ten quid.
Who'll give me six quid for this little yap.
19
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,625
If these were
fluffy little chickens you'd be saying
20
00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:57,269
'Good Heavens, they're going cheap.'
Going cheap, do you get it?
21
00:02:00,637 --> 00:02:02,499
And I'll tell
you why I've got to get rid of them, shall I?
22
00:02:02,737 --> 00:02:07,012
Because I'm going on my holidays
and I need my suitcase, right.
23
00:02:07,437 --> 00:02:13,079
Now what I...what I, er, right,
listen sorry I can't stay.
24
00:02:13,292 --> 00:02:18,104
Tell you what, I just remembered
my flight leaves in 'alf an hour. See ya!
25
00:02:23,167 --> 00:02:24,749
Excuse me, excuse...oh.
26
00:03:03,236 --> 00:03:04,932
Shut up, will ya?
27
00:04:13,993 --> 00:04:15,980
Had a good day Del?
28
00:04:18,527 --> 00:04:22,409
Had a good day, a good day?
Oh the best, Grandad, the very bloody best.
29
00:04:23,727 --> 00:04:28,206
I've been chased by a gendarme, attacked by
Pussycat Willum and almost caught rabies.
30
00:04:28,378 --> 00:04:30,440
And it's all this dipstick's fault.
31
00:04:31,383 --> 00:04:32,925
Oh he don't 'alf exaggerate.
32
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,088
Exaggerate?
33
00:04:34,249 --> 00:04:37,268
You should have been with me in that alley
Rodney, it was like Call of the Wild.
34
00:04:37,501 --> 00:04:39,646
Why didn't you warn
me that that copper was coming?
35
00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:40,883
Because I didn't see him.
36
00:04:41,049 --> 00:04:44,437
You didn't see him? What d'you
want me to get you, radar or something?
37
00:04:46,037 --> 00:04:48,679
Oh you've gotta give him the
benefit of the doubt Del Boy.
38
00:04:48,859 --> 00:04:51,946
Yes, thank you Grandad. At
least somebody understands.
39
00:04:52,308 --> 00:04:57,325
I mean, they are difficult to spot
with their size 18 boots and their pointed heads.
40
00:04:59,499 --> 00:05:02,135
Why don't you shut your mouth
you sarky old goat!
41
00:05:02,665 --> 00:05:03,576
Oh and that's another thing.
42
00:05:03,756 --> 00:05:06,050
What about last Friday then,
when we were knocking out them Italian shirts.
43
00:05:06,291 --> 00:05:12,509
Listen to this one, Grandad. That wasn't just one copper
you failed to warn me about - it was an entire squad car.
44
00:05:13,078 --> 00:05:18,620
I mean, it stood there by the kerb, all big and white with a
red stripe running through it like a tube of Signal.
45
00:05:20,041 --> 00:05:21,171
Well, I didn't see it.
46
00:05:21,359 --> 00:05:22,315
You didn't see it...
47
00:05:22,471 --> 00:05:28,400
you must have been a tiny suspicious when this
ginormous great big jam sandwich pulled up next to you?
48
00:05:28,946 --> 00:05:30,848
Well, maybe he needs medical
help Del.
49
00:05:31,002 --> 00:05:32,479
Yeah, like psychiatric treatment.
50
00:05:33,213 --> 00:05:34,345
Or glasses.
51
00:05:34,581 --> 00:05:41,103
Look, I don't need psychiatric treatment and I don't need
specs, right. I've had a lot on my mind just recently.
52
00:05:41,928 --> 00:05:44,603
I've been struggling to find a way of making a very
important announcement.
53
00:05:44,850 --> 00:05:46,947
Oh yeah, what important
announcement?
54
00:05:48,111 --> 00:05:53,428
Alright, for the past two weeks or so
I've been taking stock of my life.
55
00:05:54,609 --> 00:05:57,648
Who I am, what I am and where I'm going.
56
00:05:58,405 --> 00:05:59,855
And that's taken you a fortnight?
57
00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:01,726
I could have answered all them questions for you -
58
00:06:01,919 --> 00:06:04,431
could have been answered them
all during a commercial break.
59
00:06:04,899 --> 00:06:06,938
Will you just shut up for one
minute.
60
00:06:08,125 --> 00:06:11,571
I am 24 years old, I have two GCEs,
61
00:06:11,826 --> 00:06:17,103
13 years of schooling and three terms at
an adult education centre behind me, right.
62
00:06:17,749 --> 00:06:21,102
And with all that, what have I become?
I'm a look-out.
63
00:06:23,770 --> 00:06:29,791
No Rodney, you're wrong.
You're not just a look-out. You're a bad look-out.
64
00:06:30,342 --> 00:06:35,371
Alright, alright, so I'm not very good at it.
Perhaps that's 'cos me heart's not really in it.
65
00:06:35,547 --> 00:06:38,176
I'm not asking you to put yer
heart in it, just yer eyes'll do.
66
00:06:39,424 --> 00:06:41,781
Del, what I'm trying to say is...
67
00:06:43,875 --> 00:06:45,985
I'm thinking of breaking up
the partnership.
68
00:06:52,128 --> 00:06:55,147
- What partnership?
- Ours
69
00:06:55,368 --> 00:06:57,803
Oh. What do you want to do that for?
We're doing well.
70
00:06:57,968 --> 00:07:00,263
Business is booming, profits are up.
What more d'you want?
71
00:07:00,477 --> 00:07:07,294
I want to make my own decisions.
I've made one Del, I'm going it alone.
72
00:07:07,468 --> 00:07:08,698
- Who with?
- Mickey Pearce.
73
00:07:08,878 --> 00:07:14,872
Mickey, Mickey Pearce, oh, leave it out.
He couldn't keep a rabbit going with lettuce.
74
00:07:15,042 --> 00:07:18,346
You wanna watch that young Pearcey.
He's a bit too fly for my liking.
75
00:07:18,562 --> 00:07:21,183
He'd rob his own grandmother he would.
76
00:07:21,357 --> 00:07:24,929
Oh don't be stupid Grandad -
that was never proved.
77
00:07:25,119 --> 00:07:30,529
Anyway you give credit where it's due, right.
Mickey's quite an astute businessman.
78
00:07:30,691 --> 00:07:32,868
And he's putting capital into
this venture.
79
00:07:33,348 --> 00:07:35,178
Oh, putting money in is he?
80
00:07:36,037 --> 00:07:39,226
Well, no. But he will as soon
as his Giro cheque arrives.
81
00:07:40,658 --> 00:07:42,624
I see, and what are you going to put in?
82
00:07:42,984 --> 00:07:45,286
- I've got money, Del.
- Oh, oh, have you?
83
00:07:45,468 --> 00:07:48,148
Yeah, I've got my half of the
partnership.
84
00:07:48,786 --> 00:07:50,912
What partnership? What our part...
85
00:07:59,444 --> 00:08:02,082
Alright, if that is the way you want it, my son.
86
00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:08,625
'Cos you'll have to understand one thing Rodney.
Going it alone means exactly what it says.
87
00:08:09,365 --> 00:08:11,465
Right, from now on, you've got
to pay your own way in the world.
88
00:08:11,745 --> 00:08:14,253
You pay your own way in the pubs and you pay
your own way in this house.
89
00:08:14,588 --> 00:08:17,469
You make a mistake you stick
by that mistake. Alright?
90
00:08:17,674 --> 00:08:18,246
Fine.
91
00:08:18,423 --> 00:08:22,832
Fine. And if things don't go right for you,
I don't wanna hear no moaning or whining from yer.
92
00:08:23,034 --> 00:08:24,831
Look, I won't moan or whine
about nothing.
93
00:08:24,989 --> 00:08:27,360
Right, there you go then.
94
00:08:31,327 --> 00:08:32,850
- Is this all I got?
- Yeah.
95
00:08:33,091 --> 00:08:35,851
Oh bloody hell, Del, all them
years of working, you give me this.
96
00:08:36,230 --> 00:08:39,244
Yeah, well, I mean, you know,
business's a bit shaky - profits are down.
97
00:08:39,386 --> 00:08:41,716
Hold on a minute - just now
you said we were doing well.
98
00:08:42,214 --> 00:08:45,339
Yeah, well, we are doing well,
relatively speaking Rodney.
99
00:08:45,532 --> 00:08:49,816
I mean we are doing well,
compared to...an Iranian gin salesman.
100
00:08:52,187 --> 00:08:54,368
Anyway, I had to buy some stock off
Alfie Flowers yesterday,
101
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,817
and I mean a trader is only
as good as his stock, right.
102
00:08:57,635 --> 00:09:00,091
Alright, well, this'll have to
do then won't it.
103
00:09:01,571 --> 00:09:04,065
But I'm going to prove to you that
I've got business acumen,
104
00:09:04,421 --> 00:09:09,057
that I am as quick-witted as you,
Del. See you down the auction tomorrow.
105
00:09:09,433 --> 00:09:11,094
Alright. How will I recognise
you?
106
00:09:11,331 --> 00:09:16,114
Ah, I'll wear that stripy tie
with...See yer.
107
00:09:17,141 --> 00:09:22,148
Lot 35, ladies and gentlemen, is a consignment
of smoke-damaged fire alarms.
108
00:09:22,391 --> 00:09:27,902
Now they are industrial models and all
guaranteed - sort of - to be in perfect working order.
109
00:09:28,490 --> 00:09:32,202
Well, we've written evidence from the nightwatchman
to say they all went of when the factory went up.
110
00:09:32,835 --> 00:09:37,605
Now there's 70 all-told, and they usually
retail around the 30 quid mark.
111
00:09:37,862 --> 00:09:40,146
So I can start the
bidding at fifty quid the lot.
112
00:09:40,461 --> 00:09:41,682
Go on, bid for 'em.
113
00:09:42,140 --> 00:09:45,179
What do we want industrial fire alarms for, eh?
114
00:09:45,573 --> 00:09:47,928
How many factories do we know
are going to catch fire?
115
00:09:49,685 --> 00:09:52,993
- Alright Rodney?
- Good morning Derek.
116
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:57,770
Watcha Del. It's good here
innit?
117
00:09:59,763 --> 00:10:01,078
Er, triffic.
118
00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:03,066
This is my first auction.
119
00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:07,555
I thought it might be. Listen,
a word of advice.
120
00:10:08,183 --> 00:10:11,519
You've gotta be very careful what
you do with yer hands in a place like this.
121
00:10:12,248 --> 00:10:14,021
I mean, I know you didn't realise it Mickey,
122
00:10:14,180 --> 00:10:19,747
but just now you put in a 40 quid bid for an
electric generator when you scratched your bum.
123
00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:22,651
- Did I?
- He's winding you up.
124
00:10:24,226 --> 00:10:29,039
The state of him. What are you
after?
125
00:10:29,639 --> 00:10:31,000
Cut-glass goblets.
126
00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:33,159
- No, no, we ain't.
- But I thought you said...
127
00:10:33,351 --> 00:10:35,934
No, no - we're not after
nothing in particular.
128
00:10:36,384 --> 00:10:42,128
Oh I see. Now listen, the one
that you wanna beware of is Lot 37.
129
00:10:42,533 --> 00:10:49,315
It's nothing more than a load of scrap iron, right,
so be careful. See you later.
130
00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:56,426
130, thank you sir. A 130.
Do I hear any more?
131
00:10:56,790 --> 00:11:00,370
130 - down to young Towser.
132
00:11:01,122 --> 00:11:10,009
Now ladies and gentlemen, we come to lot 36,
112 pieces of near perfect cut-glass goblets.
133
00:11:10,216 --> 00:11:11,339
Take a look ladies
and gentleman.
134
00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:12,458
This is us Rodney.
135
00:11:12,632 --> 00:11:16,393
No, hang on a minute. Let's
have another look at Lot 37.
136
00:11:17,053 --> 00:11:18,843
Yeah, but Del told us to be
careful of that one.
137
00:11:19,022 --> 00:11:23,007
Yeah and why do you think he
did that? Use your noddle Mickey.
138
00:11:23,186 --> 00:11:25,322
Del's after Lot 37, ain't he?
139
00:11:26,125 --> 00:11:28,882
He's just trying to put us off and leave the
field open for him, ain't he.
140
00:11:29,618 --> 00:11:31,521
I know how his mind works
son.
141
00:11:33,119 --> 00:11:37,488
Right, Lot 37,
assorted agricultural machinery.
142
00:11:37,980 --> 00:11:42,102
Hey, that could be anything - that
could be tractors, combine harvesters.
143
00:11:42,697 --> 00:11:46,339
Yeah, we could take 'em out in
the sticks and do them carrot crunchers up.
144
00:11:46,882 --> 00:11:48,440
Hey, shall we go for Lot 37
then?
145
00:11:48,832 --> 00:11:49,872
Yeah.
146
00:11:54,708 --> 00:11:58,281
- You bought this son?
- Yeah.
147
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,782
There's always one at every
auction, ain't there Del?
148
00:12:03,136 --> 00:12:05,547
Yeah, get two for the same
price at this one.
149
00:12:06,463 --> 00:12:08,986
Oi you, this stuff is a load
of rubbish!
150
00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:11,083
I know, I did try to warn you
Rodders.
151
00:12:11,687 --> 00:12:12,856
Yeah, but I thought when you
put...
152
00:12:12,990 --> 00:12:16,300
Yeah, the trouble with you
Rodney, is that you will insist on thinking.
153
00:12:17,976 --> 00:12:19,280
Well, what have you bought
then?
154
00:12:19,485 --> 00:12:21,886
I got those crystal goblets
that you were after.
155
00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:25,592
What are these things?
156
00:12:25,754 --> 00:12:28,291
What those? They are lawnmower engines.
157
00:12:28,604 --> 00:12:29,570
Lawn-mower engines?
158
00:12:29,741 --> 00:12:33,135
Yes, listen they're not
ordinary lawn-mower engines.
159
00:12:36,758 --> 00:12:42,119
- No?
- No. They're broken lawn-mower engines.
160
00:12:51,095 --> 00:12:56,563
Del. We'll probably have a few
problems getting these back to the, er, depot.
161
00:12:57,490 --> 00:12:59,428
Yeah, we come down on the
Green Line see.
162
00:13:00,843 --> 00:13:04,007
Oh well, your best bet is to
hire an open back truck then ain't it?
163
00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:10,252
Yeah, but we was wondering whether you
could take maybe a few in the back of the van?
164
00:13:11,723 --> 00:13:20,083
Back of my van? You must be joking
I've only just cleared 'em out of the van.
165
00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:26,160
You mean you was selling 'em
in the first place?
166
00:13:26,405 --> 00:13:30,519
Yeah. That is the rubbish that
Alfie Flowers sold me.
167
00:13:31,507 --> 00:13:33,809
Normally, I'd never have bought it,
you know, but he caught me
168
00:13:33,944 --> 00:13:36,426
when I was a bit non compos mentis down the
One Eleven Club.
169
00:13:38,288 --> 00:13:41,012
Well, look, I never thought I'd ever get
shot of them. But you know me Rodney.
170
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:46,430
He who dares wins. Actually it made
a tidy little profit on it an' all.
171
00:13:49,752 --> 00:13:51,623
What are we supposed to do with them?
172
00:13:51,909 --> 00:13:56,677
Well, why don't you do what I did? Find yourself
a couple of right little plonkers with cash on the hip.
173
00:14:03,889 --> 00:14:05,267
So what are we gonna do?
174
00:14:07,349 --> 00:14:09,494
Wait till he ain't looking and
run away.
175
00:14:11,262 --> 00:14:13,087
No, we can't do that, he's got
my address.
176
00:14:13,848 --> 00:14:15,208
Yeah, well he ain't got mine.
177
00:14:15,677 --> 00:14:17,442
Oh thanks partner.
178
00:14:17,779 --> 00:14:19,543
Well, you would insist on
bidding for 'em.
179
00:14:19,872 --> 00:14:23,923
Yeah, and who wanted to go out to the sticks
and flog 'em to the carrot crunchers?
180
00:14:24,158 --> 00:14:26,764
Well, you said they were
combine harvesters and tractors.
181
00:14:26,952 --> 00:14:29,730
The way you were talking we were going to
do a deal with Weetabix.
182
00:14:29,883 --> 00:14:31,036
Oh get off my back.
183
00:14:31,292 --> 00:14:34,905
...How we going to get home
anyway?
184
00:14:36,819 --> 00:14:40,305
Hello Grandad. Here are, look at this.
Bought you some strawberries, go on, dip in.
185
00:14:40,681 --> 00:14:44,271
Oh here, they ain't very big
are they?
186
00:14:44,733 --> 00:14:45,962
What do you mean they ain't very big?
187
00:14:46,125 --> 00:14:48,546
You wouldn't like one of those up yer nose
for a wart would yer.
188
00:14:48,903 --> 00:14:49,721
Well, no.
189
00:14:52,359 --> 00:14:54,572
Well, go on then, shut up and
eat up. I'll put the kettle on.
190
00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:56,946
You're splashing out a bit
ain't yer?
191
00:14:57,586 --> 00:14:59,999
Yeah, well, I've had a right blinding week.
I've sold the lot.
192
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:03,784
Here, I even sold those techni-colour
woolen tea cosies I bought.
193
00:15:04,203 --> 00:15:08,125
How d'you manage that? Who the
'ell wants woolen tea cosies these days?
194
00:15:08,299 --> 00:15:12,279
No, no, no, no - look, I got that Mrs Murphy right,
to stitch up all the holes.
195
00:15:12,651 --> 00:15:17,440
And then I whipped down to the youth centre
and I flogged 'em to the West Indian lads as soppy hats.
196
00:15:21,147 --> 00:15:25,187
There you go, look, there's the housekeeping money,
alright, and look at that, there's a tenner for yourself.
197
00:15:25,523 --> 00:15:26,689
Oh cheers Del.
198
00:15:26,877 --> 00:15:28,027
That's it, don't squander it.
199
00:15:28,187 --> 00:15:35,054
No, no, I'll invest it wisely.
How's young Rodney doing?
200
00:15:35,265 --> 00:15:37,594
Oh well, the opposition are
floundering somewhat.
201
00:15:38,131 --> 00:15:43,276
Well, to be more precise, they're going
down like a one-legged man doing the hokey-cokey.
202
00:15:45,190 --> 00:15:48,524
I've seen Rodney skulking around
the garden centres and what 'ave yer.
203
00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:51,019
He ain't got rid of them
lawnmower engines yet?
204
00:15:51,296 --> 00:15:56,902
No, they're still in their depot.
Well, depot, that's Mickey Pearce's garden shed.
205
00:15:57,517 --> 00:15:58,909
Here talking about that.
206
00:16:00,150 --> 00:16:04,596
Do you know what happened last Tuesday night, somebody
broke into their shed and nicked two of them engines.
207
00:16:04,834 --> 00:16:09,027
Ah no. That's rotten innit?
I feel sorry for young Rodney.
208
00:16:09,208 --> 00:16:13,019
No, no, no, it's alright, because Wednesday night
they broke in again and put 'em back.
209
00:16:14,704 --> 00:16:19,228
Oh here he is. Listen Del Boy, don't say nothing
about them lawn-mower engines.
210
00:16:19,377 --> 00:16:21,320
I think he's getting a bit
embarrassed about it.
211
00:16:21,467 --> 00:16:23,140
Alright, I won't mention 'em.
212
00:16:27,596 --> 00:16:28,709
Alright Del?
213
00:16:28,886 --> 00:16:31,392
Triffic, brill Rodders, had a
blinding week. How about you?
214
00:16:31,579 --> 00:16:33,272
Oh fine - could not be better.
215
00:16:37,023 --> 00:16:38,827
Sold those lawn-mower engines
yet?
216
00:16:40,275 --> 00:16:41,576
Lawn mower - lawn mower?
217
00:16:41,846 --> 00:16:47,320
Oh no, no, we've had lots of enquiries, obviously,
but we're hanging on for the right price, you know.
218
00:16:47,521 --> 00:16:51,821
Oh that is the way, Rodney, agent provocateur
as the French would say.
219
00:16:51,987 --> 00:16:53,189
Well, that's what I thought.
220
00:16:55,225 --> 00:16:57,710
Oh that reminds me, did the paper boy
bring my Sun this morning?
221
00:16:58,250 --> 00:17:00,151
Well, we've had to cancel it
Rodney.
222
00:17:00,447 --> 00:17:01,547
Cancel it? Why?
223
00:17:01,740 --> 00:17:02,911
Well, you haven't paid yer
bill, have you?
224
00:17:03,154 --> 00:17:04,890
What, I'm paying that separate
as well now am I?
225
00:17:05,074 --> 00:17:06,894
Yeah, well, you're on yer own
now, remember?
226
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:10,190
Oh yeah, yeah. It's alright, I'm just saying,
you know, as long as I know.
227
00:17:10,407 --> 00:17:11,882
I'll - I'll go and pay it tomorrow.
228
00:17:12,180 --> 00:17:13,508
You hungry Rodney?
229
00:17:14,335 --> 00:17:18,766
Ah well, I had a pretty hefty
lunch with a client earlier on.
230
00:17:18,954 --> 00:17:21,443
But, yeah, reckon I could
manage some egg and chips.
231
00:17:21,636 --> 00:17:23,019
I'll go and put the pan on.
232
00:17:23,225 --> 00:17:26,358
Just a minute, just a minute.
Has he paid his housekeeping money?
233
00:17:28,151 --> 00:17:30,467
Well, I've got a bit of a cash
flow problem at the moment.
234
00:17:31,407 --> 00:17:35,280
Well, so's half the people on this estate but they
don't come in here eating my egg and chips.
235
00:17:36,477 --> 00:17:38,604
No, it's alright, I'll pay
double next week.
236
00:17:38,779 --> 00:17:40,192
Ah well, that's alright then.
237
00:17:40,339 --> 00:17:42,602
That's alright, you can have
double egg and chips next week.
238
00:17:44,769 --> 00:17:47,065
How can you have a cash flow
problem Rodney?
239
00:17:47,241 --> 00:17:50,546
I thought you had nearly tow hundred pounds
left out of your share.
240
00:17:51,288 --> 00:17:54,099
Yeah, yeah, that's right.
But - Mickey's holding the money.
241
00:17:58,068 --> 00:18:00,281
Well, he's financial director
see.
242
00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:02,842
Why don't you pop round is
house and get some money?
243
00:18:03,169 --> 00:18:06,924
Yeah, yeah, I would but he's
out of town at the moment.
244
00:18:07,193 --> 00:18:10,884
Yeah, I thought I hadn't seen
him around for about four or five days.
245
00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:16,322
No, no, well, that's 'cos we're doing
this really big deal, you see,
246
00:18:16,487 --> 00:18:18,685
and Mickey's gone away to tie up all the
loose ends.
247
00:18:19,367 --> 00:18:20,859
Oh, well that explains it
then.
248
00:18:22,112 --> 00:18:23,033
Yeah. Explains what?
249
00:18:23,228 --> 00:18:24,413
No, it's just that I saw his
mum this morning.
250
00:18:24,581 --> 00:18:26,887
She said she just got a postcard from him
from Benidorm.
251
00:18:27,054 --> 00:18:28,313
Benidorm?
252
00:18:28,929 --> 00:18:30,678
Yeah he's doing alright. You
know the weather's fine.
253
00:18:30,817 --> 00:18:33,845
Food's good. Met this Swedish
bird called Helga.
254
00:18:35,341 --> 00:18:37,641
Oh, would that be the contact that he
went to meet?
255
00:18:38,605 --> 00:18:40,906
What? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
256
00:18:42,814 --> 00:18:47,365
Well, I've gotta admire yer
bottle Rodders - I must admit.
257
00:18:47,563 --> 00:18:50,788
You've been in the business five minutes and already
you've opened up a Spanish branch.
258
00:18:54,288 --> 00:18:57,459
You've cornered the World market on
broken lawnmower engines
259
00:18:58,727 --> 00:19:01,312
what's your partner doing now, is he
buying second-hand pedalos?
260
00:19:02,559 --> 00:19:08,208
No, no, no, nothing like that, no,
we're going into the self-catering holiday trade.
261
00:19:08,584 --> 00:19:09,929
Cor, what on 200 nicker?
262
00:19:10,533 --> 00:19:12,126
Yeah well, we're starting in a
small way.
263
00:19:12,815 --> 00:19:14,945
What you got, a Wendy House?
264
00:19:21,678 --> 00:19:27,726
Grandad, I am not prepared to discuss the situation
any longer, alright, it's confidential information.
265
00:19:28,953 --> 00:19:35,575
I understand Rodney, no, no, I
understand. Well, I'm off out.
266
00:19:36,195 --> 00:19:37,042
Where you going?
267
00:19:37,218 --> 00:19:40,240
Well, I thought I might go down and have a couple
of light ales down the Nag's Head,
268
00:19:40,443 --> 00:19:45,897
and then go on to the Star of
Bengal for a Ruby Murray. Coming?
269
00:19:46,266 --> 00:19:47,970
- I'm potless ain't I?
- What?
270
00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:53,864
Ah no, no, I really ought to
stay in and do the company accounts, I suppose.
271
00:19:54,065 --> 00:19:55,228
Oh here they are.
272
00:19:55,413 --> 00:19:56,703
Oh, cheers.
273
00:20:13,833 --> 00:20:16,808
You don't really think I'm
that hard do you Rodney?
274
00:20:17,772 --> 00:20:21,343
- Na.
- No, of course I'm not.
275
00:20:21,859 --> 00:20:23,048
Oh, cheers Del.
276
00:20:24,725 --> 00:20:27,071
Grandad. Do him them egg and
chips will you?
277
00:20:43,673 --> 00:20:46,483
Oi Tony. None of the boys been in?
278
00:20:46,679 --> 00:20:47,884
I haven't seen any of them,
Del.
279
00:20:48,496 --> 00:20:50,325
Oh young Towser's just
come in for a take-away.
280
00:20:50,536 --> 00:20:51,783
Oh has he, oh yeah.
281
00:20:52,159 --> 00:20:54,855
Oi Towser. Towser.
282
00:20:58,385 --> 00:21:00,848
Sorry madam. Yer onion bhaji's
down there by yer foot.
283
00:21:03,225 --> 00:21:04,401
Hello Del, how's it going?
284
00:21:04,563 --> 00:21:06,461
Alright my son, sit down and
have yourself a popadum.
285
00:21:06,608 --> 00:21:07,868
Listen, I can't get involved.
286
00:21:08,023 --> 00:21:09,701
I'm getting the missus a takeaway
and I wanna get home tonight.
287
00:21:09,850 --> 00:21:11,149
Come on, you've got time for a
drink.
288
00:21:11,374 --> 00:21:12,519
- Go on, sit down.
- Oh cheers.
289
00:21:12,731 --> 00:21:15,413
Listen, I'm glad I bumped into
you...I want you to do me a favour.
290
00:21:15,844 --> 00:21:16,301
What's that?
291
00:21:16,490 --> 00:21:22,147
Sit down, you know those broken lawn-mower engines that
dozy twonk Rodney got himself lumbered with?
292
00:21:22,371 --> 00:21:23,379
Yeah, what about 'em?
293
00:21:23,574 --> 00:21:24,887
I want you to buy 'em off him.
294
00:21:25,057 --> 00:21:27,685
You want me to do what? Do me
a favour Del.
295
00:21:28,038 --> 00:21:31,480
Alfie Flowers offered me them engines a
month ago. I don't want nothing to do with 'em.
296
00:21:31,866 --> 00:21:35,661
It's alright, it's alright. Now listen,
you don't have to spend any money.
297
00:21:38,815 --> 00:21:42,375
There are, see that, look 200
quid I want you to offer him that.
298
00:21:42,885 --> 00:21:46,591
200? Here, they're only worth
about a score, scrap value.
299
00:21:47,610 --> 00:21:49,966
I know but I want him to think
he's made a good profit.
300
00:21:50,162 --> 00:21:51,141
Look, he's had a bad week.
301
00:21:51,332 --> 00:21:54,600
He's been tucked up something chronic
by that best mate of his and now he's brassic.
302
00:21:54,768 --> 00:21:56,208
Why don't you just give him
the money?
303
00:21:56,423 --> 00:21:58,083
'Cos it'll seem like charity,
won't it, eh?
304
00:22:00,443 --> 00:22:02,661
Yeah, and he'll be too proud
to accept it?
305
00:22:02,818 --> 00:22:09,235
No, he'd snap it up like a shot. Look,
I want him to think that he's been successful.
306
00:22:10,243 --> 00:22:14,478
I want him to believe that he's proved me wrong...
It's important Towser.
307
00:22:16,618 --> 00:22:18,614
Alright then Del, if that's
what you want.
308
00:22:18,815 --> 00:22:24,315
You're a pal.
'Ere don't let him know that I'm behind all this.
309
00:22:25,203 --> 00:22:29,123
Look you say to him that you got this contact in the
GLC parks department and,
310
00:22:29,469 --> 00:22:32,079
they can't get enough lawnmower engines,
something like that.
311
00:22:32,308 --> 00:22:34,991
You see the thing is
I'm not going to lose out on the deal,
312
00:22:35,723 --> 00:22:43,037
because come this time tomorrow Rodney'll want
to be my partner again, and I will get my money back. See?
313
00:22:43,933 --> 00:22:46,957
Hey, wait a minute. What am I
going to do with all these engines?
314
00:22:47,167 --> 00:22:48,365
Well, I don't know, dump 'em
somewhere.
315
00:22:48,569 --> 00:22:49,995
Oh no, no, I couldn't do that
Del.
316
00:22:50,278 --> 00:22:53,246
I mean, I got nicked for fly-dumping a couple of
months ago, I mean,
317
00:22:53,417 --> 00:22:55,130
they're gonna chuck the book at me
this time.
318
00:22:55,341 --> 00:22:59,566
Right I'll tell you what to do, take 'em back to Alfie
Flowers and tell him that he can have 'em for nothing.
319
00:23:00,050 --> 00:23:05,262
Yeah, alright Del. Here, hang
about, what's in it for me?
320
00:23:09,950 --> 00:23:11,371
Give you 15 for it.
321
00:23:11,569 --> 00:23:12,731
Oh yeah.
322
00:23:13,036 --> 00:23:13,998
20?
323
00:23:14,188 --> 00:23:15,951
- That'll do.
- Thank you.
324
00:23:16,705 --> 00:23:17,897
Anything for a mate.
325
00:23:20,189 --> 00:23:22,208
I wouldn't pay that bill if I
were you.
326
00:23:23,410 --> 00:23:25,021
Thank you Del - good morning.
327
00:23:31,272 --> 00:23:32,230
Alright Rodders?
328
00:23:32,375 --> 00:23:33,091
Yeah.
329
00:23:36,109 --> 00:23:37,832
Here, look I've had a right
blinding day. Here look at that...
330
00:23:38,612 --> 00:23:42,186
Er, I must tell ya. There's a
really silly bloke down the market today.
331
00:23:42,406 --> 00:23:45,071
Think he must have come from the funny farm
he was really silly.
332
00:23:45,644 --> 00:23:49,767
I said to him I said. 'Here do you
wanna buy some broken lawn mower engines?'
333
00:23:49,982 --> 00:23:51,950
Then he said
to me, 'I ain't that silly.'
334
00:23:53,730 --> 00:23:55,425
For your information, Derek,
335
00:23:55,628 --> 00:24:00,848
this morning I successfully negotiated the sale
of them engines to Young Towser.
336
00:24:01,561 --> 00:24:02,709
You're kidding me?
337
00:24:02,963 --> 00:24:05,378
No, on my life. He's bought
the lot
338
00:24:05,653 --> 00:24:08,572
he's got a contact
in the parks department at the GLC.
339
00:24:08,860 --> 00:24:10,548
Cor, well that's a stroke of
luck then innit?
340
00:24:10,851 --> 00:24:14,302
No, no, it's not luck Del -
that is good business sense.
341
00:24:15,107 --> 00:24:18,295
I knew all the time if I held on
long enough I'd get my price.
342
00:24:18,963 --> 00:24:20,902
Yeah, well, I must say I
admire your courage Rodders.
343
00:24:21,228 --> 00:24:23,649
Oh well, he who dares wins.
344
00:24:25,429 --> 00:24:26,821
Yeah, that's right.
345
00:24:28,804 --> 00:24:32,297
So well, that Mickey Pearce he's going to be pleased
when he comes back off holiday ain't he, eh?
346
00:24:32,484 --> 00:24:34,275
Now, don't you talk to me
about that Mickey Pearce.
347
00:24:34,913 --> 00:24:36,517
I've liquidated our partnership.
348
00:24:37,020 --> 00:24:41,971
Oh, so what you gonna do then?
I mean still carry on, on your own like?
349
00:24:44,056 --> 00:24:49,044
Well - I was thinking - oh,
you know.
350
00:24:51,098 --> 00:24:53,165
Go back as we was, eh? You and me?
351
00:24:53,932 --> 00:24:59,283
Yeah. You and me Del, eh? And now I've got
experience of buying and selling meself.
352
00:25:00,144 --> 00:25:02,298
Yeah, that could be invaluable
Rodney.
353
00:25:03,537 --> 00:25:05,773
Yeah, okay then, come
on let's pool our resources.
354
00:25:06,051 --> 00:25:10,396
There we go. Now then, how much did you get
for them lawn-mower engines?
355
00:25:10,929 --> 00:25:13,292
One hundred and sixty five
pounds.
356
00:25:17,641 --> 00:25:19,365
Is that what all you got for
'em Rodney?
357
00:25:19,731 --> 00:25:23,664
Well it's not bad Del, 'cos
they're only worth what, a score, scrap value.
358
00:25:24,763 --> 00:25:26,884
You certainly have learnt a
lot, ain't you Rodders?
359
00:25:27,847 --> 00:25:29,244
Okay,
let's see the colour of your money.
360
00:25:29,449 --> 00:25:30,557
Oh, I ain't got it.
361
00:25:31,073 --> 00:25:32,687
What d'you mean, Towser didn't
pay you?
362
00:25:33,269 --> 00:25:35,527
Oh yeah, he paid me. But I've
invested the money.
363
00:25:35,962 --> 00:25:36,912
You did what?
364
00:25:37,292 --> 00:25:41,002
I went down to Alfie Flowers yard,
got us another load of lawn-mower engines.
365
00:25:52,159 --> 00:25:54,605
You're joking? Tell me that
you're joking?
366
00:25:54,801 --> 00:25:59,422
No, well if Towser's bloke at the GLC,
well he can't get enough of them engines.
367
00:25:59,788 --> 00:26:02,103
Oh I'll tell you I was dead
lucky down at Alfie's.
368
00:26:02,314 --> 00:26:04,641
He'd had another load delivered
this morning.
369
00:26:06,089 --> 00:26:08,570
But don't worry though 'cos they're exactly
the same as the others.
370
00:26:12,490 --> 00:26:20,822
You bet your life they're the
same. What a 42-carat plonker you really are.
371
00:26:22,423 --> 00:26:25,473
Come on Del, don't you think
it's time you showed a bit of faith in me?
372
00:26:26,118 --> 00:26:29,613
Yes, anything you say Rodney.
Anything you say.
373
00:26:30,342 --> 00:26:34,573
Good. Oi, Del, I was wondering
now that we're partners again
374
00:26:34,764 --> 00:26:36,036
d'you think you could help me
out?
375
00:26:36,477 --> 00:26:42,770
Eh, 'cos I ain't had a pint all week,
all I've had to eat is Grandad's coking and look,
376
00:26:42,995 --> 00:26:45,726
the sole's coming off me
best Guccis. Look.
377
00:26:47,367 --> 00:26:49,001
Yeah, I'll help you out Rodders.
378
00:26:50,614 --> 00:26:53,764
Put that round yer Gucci, it
will stop the sole coming off!
379
00:26:58,276 --> 00:27:01,868
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