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1
00:00:00,937 --> 00:00:04,208
Marc: All right, so what's happening,
Gerry? What am I... What am I doing?
2
00:00:04,244 --> 00:00:05,642
[Muffled] Not eating your pie.
3
00:00:05,677 --> 00:00:07,434
Come on, man. I need help here.
4
00:00:07,469 --> 00:00:08,937
I'm not interested in
show business anymore.
5
00:00:08,998 --> 00:00:11,063
It's all I've done for like half my life.
6
00:00:11,126 --> 00:00:12,476
I mean, it's just like the...
7
00:00:12,511 --> 00:00:14,418
the spark's not there anymore.
8
00:00:16,557 --> 00:00:19,226
You need to take the focus off yourself.
9
00:00:19,261 --> 00:00:20,771
Yeah, no shit, man.
10
00:00:20,806 --> 00:00:22,064
You gonna eat that?
11
00:00:25,300 --> 00:00:26,940
You need to make amends.
12
00:00:26,975 --> 00:00:28,900
Ah, Goddamn it.
13
00:00:28,935 --> 00:00:30,398
I knew you were going to say that.
14
00:00:30,433 --> 00:00:31,465
Yep.
15
00:00:32,470 --> 00:00:35,471
So, uh, how many pies do you think
16
00:00:35,506 --> 00:00:39,185
you're gonna have to
make an amends to, Ger?
17
00:00:39,220 --> 00:00:42,179
18
00:00:43,426 --> 00:00:44,870
So, what's on the agenda today?
19
00:00:44,905 --> 00:00:46,563
You gonna go to stare
at strangers in the park?
20
00:00:46,598 --> 00:00:49,664
Maybe, uh, lie in bed
and look at the ceiling?
21
00:00:49,712 --> 00:00:52,549
Funny. No, I'm starting my amends.
22
00:00:52,584 --> 00:00:53,922
Oh.
23
00:00:53,957 --> 00:00:55,959
I can't think of anything
I would rather do less
24
00:00:55,994 --> 00:00:58,031
than apologize to everyone I know.
25
00:01:00,222 --> 00:01:01,662
That's not long enough.
26
00:01:01,697 --> 00:01:03,501
I'm not done yet, man.
27
00:01:04,130 --> 00:01:08,606
You are clearly missing
someone very important.
28
00:01:08,756 --> 00:01:11,185
Oh, yeah. You're not getting one.
29
00:01:11,239 --> 00:01:13,427
Okay, see, that's the kind of attitude
30
00:01:13,462 --> 00:01:15,277
that'll lead to a relapse.
31
00:01:15,312 --> 00:01:16,940
- Mm-hmm.
- I'm trying to be helpful.
32
00:01:18,438 --> 00:01:21,631
Uh, you should put down
every comedian you met
33
00:01:21,666 --> 00:01:24,257
from '85 to '98.
34
00:01:24,292 --> 00:01:27,121
And, uh, all your managers and your agents.
35
00:01:27,156 --> 00:01:28,322
And, uh...
36
00:01:28,357 --> 00:01:30,194
Oh, that mailman. You remember that?
37
00:01:30,229 --> 00:01:31,595
That guy.
38
00:01:31,630 --> 00:01:34,813
And then you made that waitress
cry at the Fog and Whistle.
39
00:01:34,848 --> 00:01:36,730
Hey, can you...
40
00:01:36,765 --> 00:01:39,344
Do dead guys... Can you
make amends to graves?
41
00:01:39,379 --> 00:01:40,212
Okay.
42
00:01:40,247 --> 00:01:44,141
43
00:01:46,789 --> 00:01:48,280
Jeremy.
44
00:01:48,315 --> 00:01:50,318
Wow. Marc Maron.
45
00:01:50,353 --> 00:01:53,546
Um, I'm newly sober again,
46
00:01:53,581 --> 00:01:56,727
and I'm working the steps... again,
47
00:01:56,762 --> 00:02:00,101
and, uh, I'm making amends.
48
00:02:00,136 --> 00:02:01,471
[Laughs]
49
00:02:01,506 --> 00:02:03,541
Wow. What a pussy.
50
00:02:03,576 --> 00:02:04,749
You're weak.
51
00:02:04,784 --> 00:02:06,171
Dude, you know how much
blow I did last night,
52
00:02:06,206 --> 00:02:07,637
- and here I am, ready for work.
- Okay.
53
00:02:07,672 --> 00:02:09,004
You've just got to learn to maintain, man.
54
00:02:09,039 --> 00:02:10,373
Okay, okay. Fine.
55
00:02:10,408 --> 00:02:12,507
[Stammers] Just hear me out, all right?
56
00:02:12,542 --> 00:02:13,971
I-I-I didn't
treat you right.
57
00:02:14,007 --> 00:02:16,187
Okay, I-I invaded your space
58
00:02:16,258 --> 00:02:18,510
when I came to watch
your one-man show and I...
59
00:02:18,545 --> 00:02:19,977
and I laughed at it.
60
00:02:20,906 --> 00:02:24,736
Also, uh, I shouldn't have
said what I said in your class,
61
00:02:24,771 --> 00:02:26,692
you know, when I said, uh,
62
00:02:26,727 --> 00:02:30,177
y-you like to tighten women's vaginas
so you could have sex with them.
63
00:02:31,013 --> 00:02:32,771
And buttholes.
64
00:02:32,806 --> 00:02:35,144
- Yeah. And buttholes.
- Yeah.
65
00:02:35,179 --> 00:02:36,394
Don't forget about the butthole.
66
00:02:36,429 --> 00:02:39,163
- Yeah.
- It's called a yoga doughnut.
67
00:02:39,287 --> 00:02:40,318
Okay.
68
00:02:40,353 --> 00:02:42,325
Well, you know what? I actually
have to thank you for outing me,
69
00:02:42,372 --> 00:02:45,306
because, uh, I just started
my tantric yoga certification.
70
00:02:45,341 --> 00:02:47,448
Oh. Good. Congratulations.
71
00:02:47,483 --> 00:02:48,647
Thank you. Yeah.
72
00:02:48,682 --> 00:02:50,456
I can suck my own dick now and everything.
73
00:02:50,491 --> 00:02:51,606
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
74
00:02:51,641 --> 00:02:53,448
If you want to check it out,
I can send you over a link.
75
00:02:53,504 --> 00:02:56,549
- No, dude. I don't... No.
- You sure?
76
00:02:56,584 --> 00:02:57,782
Yeah, all right, yeah, send it to me.
77
00:02:57,817 --> 00:02:58,696
- Send it to me.
- Same number?
78
00:02:58,731 --> 00:02:59,440
Yeah, yeah.
79
00:02:59,475 --> 00:03:00,545
Just curious, yeah.
80
00:03:00,580 --> 00:03:01,648
Jeremy: Yeah, you are.
81
00:03:01,683 --> 00:03:05,322
82
00:03:09,841 --> 00:03:11,629
- Hey.
- Ooh!
83
00:03:11,664 --> 00:03:13,089
- Hi.
- Wow. Hi.
84
00:03:13,124 --> 00:03:14,504
- Yeah.
- Gosh, you scared me there.
85
00:03:14,539 --> 00:03:17,180
Yeah, I-I tri... I tried
to get into the building,
86
00:03:17,256 --> 00:03:19,507
- but security wouldn't let me.
- Right. Yeah, I know.
87
00:03:19,542 --> 00:03:22,357
I-I said to security to not
let you in, so, you know.
88
00:03:22,392 --> 00:03:23,602
Uh-huh, well, that makes sense.
89
00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:24,569
Yeah.
90
00:03:24,604 --> 00:03:26,625
Well, so, what can I do for you? Yeah?
91
00:03:26,660 --> 00:03:29,013
I-I-I want to
make amends.
92
00:03:29,048 --> 00:03:31,576
Oh, yeah, well, you know,
I don't need it, so...
93
00:03:31,611 --> 00:03:32,791
- No...
- No, it's fine.
94
00:03:32,826 --> 00:03:33,417
Just hear me out.
95
00:03:33,452 --> 00:03:34,606
Yeah, it was really...
It's... Thank you, though.
96
00:03:34,641 --> 00:03:36,783
- Please? Please? Please?
- Fine. Yep. Go.
97
00:03:37,619 --> 00:03:38,689
Okay.
98
00:03:38,724 --> 00:03:41,806
Okay, I'm sorry that I
let you down with the show.
99
00:03:41,841 --> 00:03:42,397
Right.
100
00:03:42,432 --> 00:03:44,259
Yeah, you worked hard
for me and I compromised,
101
00:03:44,294 --> 00:03:45,862
- you know, the trust you had in me.
- Mm.
102
00:03:45,897 --> 00:03:48,041
I'm sorry that I borrowed all that money...
103
00:03:48,076 --> 00:03:50,152
- Yes.
- ...and you were a great manager.
104
00:03:50,187 --> 00:03:52,421
And I just... I didn't hold up my end.
105
00:03:54,413 --> 00:03:56,183
Well, thank you.
106
00:03:56,218 --> 00:03:59,816
Uh, well, I'm British, so... [laughs]
107
00:03:59,855 --> 00:04:03,103
...we... we feel very
uncomfortable like this.
108
00:04:03,138 --> 00:04:05,982
I'm just gonna slide by.
109
00:04:06,060 --> 00:04:08,085
Ooh. There we go.
110
00:04:08,446 --> 00:04:09,153
[Chuckles]
111
00:04:09,188 --> 00:04:12,756
112
00:04:18,437 --> 00:04:19,981
[Door opens]
113
00:04:25,208 --> 00:04:26,370
Hey.
114
00:04:26,770 --> 00:04:28,038
Hi.
115
00:04:28,239 --> 00:04:29,769
Did you bring a bodyguard with ya?
116
00:04:29,808 --> 00:04:31,461
Oh, cool, racism.
117
00:04:31,515 --> 00:04:33,677
This is my fianc?, Tom.
118
00:04:34,295 --> 00:04:36,073
Really? Engaged?
119
00:04:36,108 --> 00:04:37,499
Wow. Hey, Tom.
120
00:04:38,185 --> 00:04:40,518
Congratulations. I had no idea.
121
00:04:42,436 --> 00:04:43,968
Uh...
122
00:04:46,459 --> 00:04:48,592
[Jen mimes "Hey, baby"]
123
00:04:50,129 --> 00:04:54,686
Yeah, um, the amends is
usually a one-on-one thing.
124
00:04:54,721 --> 00:04:56,027
He's staying.
125
00:04:56,062 --> 00:04:58,428
He knows everything that you did to me.
126
00:04:58,463 --> 00:05:00,706
We don't have any secrets.
127
00:05:00,745 --> 00:05:03,340
It's not like the shitty
relationship that you and I had.
128
00:05:04,138 --> 00:05:05,209
Okay.
129
00:05:05,244 --> 00:05:07,379
I'm pregnant.
130
00:05:07,414 --> 00:05:09,504
He put a baby in me.
131
00:05:09,567 --> 00:05:11,715
Wh... Wow.
132
00:05:11,750 --> 00:05:15,586
Well, great. I-I'm happy for ya.
133
00:05:15,781 --> 00:05:18,003
All right, I'm just...
I'm just gonna get started.
134
00:05:18,038 --> 00:05:19,861
- Um...
- I think I'm gonna go get a coffee.
135
00:05:19,896 --> 00:05:21,896
I feel like this is gonna be awhile, so...
136
00:05:25,612 --> 00:05:26,731
You got to help me, man.
137
00:05:26,766 --> 00:05:27,560
What?
138
00:05:27,630 --> 00:05:29,936
- How do I get out of this?
- I-I don't know.
139
00:05:29,971 --> 00:05:31,288
I mean, I don't... I don't know, man.
140
00:05:31,327 --> 00:05:33,039
I mean, there's a baby involved now.
141
00:05:33,074 --> 00:05:35,306
You're... You're...
You're attached for good.
142
00:05:35,341 --> 00:05:36,740
- She scares me.
- I know.
143
00:05:36,775 --> 00:05:38,068
Here she comes.
144
00:05:44,716 --> 00:05:45,607
Okay.
145
00:05:45,642 --> 00:05:46,911
I'm... I'm just gonna get into it.
146
00:05:46,946 --> 00:05:50,712
So... So, Jen, uh, I-I'm sorry for...
147
00:05:50,747 --> 00:05:52,669
Okay, great. So, you're sorry?
148
00:05:52,747 --> 00:05:54,658
Can we just pretend that
that's for everything?
149
00:05:54,705 --> 00:05:57,425
I just realized I don't actually
want to look at your face anymore.
150
00:05:57,460 --> 00:05:59,057
Usually it takes a little longer.
151
00:05:59,117 --> 00:06:00,578
Bye, Marc.
152
00:06:03,939 --> 00:06:04,842
[Whispers] What do I do?
153
00:06:04,877 --> 00:06:06,064
I don't know. She seems worse.
154
00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:08,079
She's terrifying. Glad I'm not you.
155
00:06:08,114 --> 00:06:09,682
- Tom!
- Yep.
156
00:06:15,481 --> 00:06:18,182
157
00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:22,055
Shit.
158
00:06:29,461 --> 00:06:32,349
Well, there he is, the
guy who ruined everything.
159
00:06:32,384 --> 00:06:36,141
You had everything. I
used to be so jealous.
160
00:06:36,188 --> 00:06:38,750
I guess the apple doesn't
fall far from the tree.
161
00:06:38,785 --> 00:06:39,896
What's he doing here?
162
00:06:39,931 --> 00:06:41,728
Oh, I-I called him and told him to come.
163
00:06:41,764 --> 00:06:42,644
Why would you do that?
164
00:06:42,679 --> 00:06:44,157
Hey, hey, hey. I'm here to help.
165
00:06:44,192 --> 00:06:45,299
Relax.
166
00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:46,592
A storage locker?
167
00:06:46,670 --> 00:06:48,365
Well, that is something, you know?
168
00:06:48,427 --> 00:06:51,654
I thought... I thought it was
bad enough living in my RV.
169
00:06:51,709 --> 00:06:53,674
Yeah, yeah. It wasn't that great.
170
00:06:53,709 --> 00:06:56,443
Any of your cult friends come to visit you?
171
00:06:56,931 --> 00:06:57,688
Cult?
172
00:06:57,723 --> 00:07:00,158
You know, your, uh, alcoholic
religious cult thing? People.
173
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:02,225
Oh, AA. AA.
174
00:07:02,260 --> 00:07:04,373
Uh, no, they did not come by.
175
00:07:04,408 --> 00:07:05,719
Oh.
176
00:07:05,754 --> 00:07:07,387
Well, that is something.
177
00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:08,866
I guess, what, are you done with that now?
178
00:07:08,935 --> 00:07:11,981
No, no, actually, I'm not.
I'm working a program again.
179
00:07:12,016 --> 00:07:14,561
Okay. So, what's the rate of success?
180
00:07:15,093 --> 00:07:17,552
How many end up living in a storage locker?
181
00:07:17,587 --> 00:07:20,248
[Chuckles] I just want to say
this is going really great.
182
00:07:20,287 --> 00:07:22,744
So, uh, what are you doing
now with this little program?
183
00:07:22,791 --> 00:07:24,471
Oh, he's, uh... he's making amends.
184
00:07:24,506 --> 00:07:27,085
What? You don't apologize to people.
185
00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:28,715
They'll all think they're better than you.
186
00:07:28,750 --> 00:07:31,078
You'll just upset 'em
anyway all over again.
187
00:07:31,156 --> 00:07:33,400
It cleans up the wreckage I caused
188
00:07:33,435 --> 00:07:35,915
so I can open up my life
189
00:07:35,954 --> 00:07:37,551
and I don't have to avoid people.
190
00:07:37,586 --> 00:07:39,419
All right, fine. Shoot.
191
00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:40,485
What?
192
00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:42,589
Amend me. Lay it on me.
193
00:07:42,740 --> 00:07:46,026
Aren't you the guy that just told me I
shouldn't apologize like one minute ago?
194
00:07:46,061 --> 00:07:47,174
You were sitting right there.
195
00:07:47,209 --> 00:07:50,163
Well, then, show me, uh,
that amends aren't stupid.
196
00:07:50,199 --> 00:07:52,311
[Sighing] Oh, my God.
197
00:07:52,346 --> 00:07:53,435
All right.
198
00:07:53,470 --> 00:07:55,248
You want to see what an amends is like,
199
00:07:55,283 --> 00:07:56,581
drive me around tomorrow.
200
00:07:56,616 --> 00:07:57,892
I had to take the bus today.
201
00:07:57,927 --> 00:08:00,343
You know, I actually made a list
202
00:08:00,378 --> 00:08:02,284
of more amends for you to make.
203
00:08:02,338 --> 00:08:04,082
What's the matter with you?
204
00:08:04,152 --> 00:08:05,445
I'm very helpful.
205
00:08:05,481 --> 00:08:06,513
[Paper rustles]
206
00:08:06,548 --> 00:08:08,606
"Kyle." Kyle?
207
00:08:08,641 --> 00:08:10,584
That's that gremlin kid
that used to work for you?
208
00:08:10,619 --> 00:08:12,410
Yeah, I texted him.
209
00:08:12,499 --> 00:08:14,521
What'd he say?
210
00:08:14,605 --> 00:08:15,855
[Sighs] I'll read it to you.
211
00:08:15,909 --> 00:08:16,803
Oh, thank you.
212
00:08:16,838 --> 00:08:21,608
He said, "Hey, I got a
job acting on an HBO show.
213
00:08:21,643 --> 00:08:23,694
Very busy. Good luck."
214
00:08:23,756 --> 00:08:25,056
- Yeah, it's "Silicon Valley."
- Mm.
215
00:08:25,091 --> 00:08:28,334
I actually tried to get him on
my show, but HBO said no.
216
00:08:28,405 --> 00:08:30,027
We had to rewrite our whole script.
217
00:08:30,062 --> 00:08:32,131
"Lesbians who had your baby"?
218
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:33,896
What? Wait. W-What the hell is that?
219
00:08:33,931 --> 00:08:35,943
You... You couldn't just
put their names, really?
220
00:08:35,978 --> 00:08:37,844
It just wasn't as hot.
221
00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:40,994
You know, I wanted to go with,
"Rug munchers I got to put it in,"
222
00:08:41,029 --> 00:08:43,303
- but that's...
- Hey, hey, hey. What's going on here?
223
00:08:43,338 --> 00:08:46,729
- What... What does that mean?
- I'm gonna take a nap, okay?
224
00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:47,716
- It's been a long day.
- No, no.
225
00:08:47,751 --> 00:08:49,798
Wait, wait, wait. You
can't walk out after that.
226
00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:51,156
You're a father?
227
00:08:51,191 --> 00:08:52,926
You had sex with lesbians?
228
00:08:52,962 --> 00:08:55,595
I mean, who does that?
I never got to do that.
229
00:08:56,012 --> 00:08:59,020
Okay. I'll talk to you when I get up.
230
00:08:59,055 --> 00:09:00,769
Very tired.
231
00:09:05,654 --> 00:09:07,474
Don't do that.
232
00:09:07,587 --> 00:09:08,643
All right, the first
place we have to go i...
233
00:09:08,678 --> 00:09:10,386
Wait, wait, wait. I-I'm
not driving you anywhere
234
00:09:10,421 --> 00:09:11,765
until you tell me about those lesbians.
235
00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:14,282
Now, a-are you a father?
236
00:09:14,317 --> 00:09:16,650
Who are these lesbians?
What was the sex like?
237
00:09:16,685 --> 00:09:20,018
I'm... I'm not a father, all
right? I'm a sperm donor, that's it.
238
00:09:20,053 --> 00:09:22,584
What do you mean, that's
it? You made a baby.
239
00:09:22,619 --> 00:09:25,525
- Yeah, but I have no rights to it.
- No, it's not that simple.
240
00:09:25,561 --> 00:09:27,232
I mean, there's a bond. It's DNA.
241
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:29,162
There's a kid out there
who needs his daddy.
242
00:09:29,198 --> 00:09:31,367
That kid's got two mommies. It'll be fine.
243
00:09:31,402 --> 00:09:33,542
You know, fatherhood is a wonderful thing.
244
00:09:33,624 --> 00:09:35,071
You can't just walk away from it.
245
00:09:35,106 --> 00:09:36,610
You did.
246
00:09:36,645 --> 00:09:38,269
What is that, your amends?
Because they're terrible.
247
00:09:38,304 --> 00:09:39,606
Just drive the RV.
248
00:09:39,641 --> 00:09:40,464
[Groans]
249
00:09:40,499 --> 00:09:42,196
- [Engine starts]
- This is a bad omen.
250
00:09:42,251 --> 00:09:43,999
- It's Cal...
- This rain is a bad omen.
251
00:09:44,062 --> 00:09:44,937
It's California. It'll... It'll pass.
252
00:09:45,007 --> 00:09:47,109
- I'm gonna go anyway.
- It'll pass in 10 minutes.
253
00:09:47,144 --> 00:09:50,011
- Yeah, okay, watch.
- Just be careful.
254
00:09:50,062 --> 00:09:51,800
Is that your dad's RV?
255
00:09:51,835 --> 00:09:53,577
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's
driving me around, all right?
256
00:09:53,612 --> 00:09:55,124
Can we just do this, please?
257
00:09:55,159 --> 00:09:58,125
I don't want to. I-I like
to keep things superficial.
258
00:09:58,160 --> 00:09:59,671
Honesty makes me uncomfortable.
259
00:09:59,706 --> 00:10:01,123
I have to do this, Andy.
260
00:10:01,158 --> 00:10:02,475
- [Bell over door jingles]
- What does "have to" mean, really?
261
00:10:02,510 --> 00:10:04,648
Do you have to? I mean, do you want to?
262
00:10:04,683 --> 00:10:05,816
Should you?
263
00:10:05,878 --> 00:10:07,167
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What... What... What...
264
00:10:07,202 --> 00:10:08,219
- Don't worry about it.
- What are you doing?
265
00:10:08,254 --> 00:10:10,922
I just want to see how it
works. Don't... It's fine.
266
00:10:10,957 --> 00:10:12,305
We know each other.
267
00:10:12,385 --> 00:10:13,767
- Hi, Eric.
- It's Andy.
268
00:10:13,802 --> 00:10:15,342
Okay, all right.
269
00:10:15,343 --> 00:10:17,175
You can stay, but just shut up.
270
00:10:17,210 --> 00:10:18,262
O-Okay.
271
00:10:18,297 --> 00:10:20,769
Andy, look, I'm sorry for, uh...
272
00:10:20,816 --> 00:10:22,293
for borrowing all that money.
273
00:10:22,328 --> 00:10:24,171
I'm sorry for insulting your wife.
274
00:10:24,206 --> 00:10:26,407
I-I-I will pay you back
when I get the money.
275
00:10:26,442 --> 00:10:29,003
I'd like to talk to your
wife p-privately if I could.
276
00:10:29,038 --> 00:10:31,775
Oh, come on. It's no big deal.
I wouldn't apologize for that.
277
00:10:31,810 --> 00:10:33,200
It's just something that
happens between friends.
278
00:10:33,235 --> 00:10:35,712
I feel bad about this stuff.
279
00:10:35,747 --> 00:10:37,145
That's why I'm making an amends.
280
00:10:37,180 --> 00:10:40,101
You don't get to tell
me how to make an amends.
281
00:10:40,136 --> 00:10:42,040
Now, look, everybody borrows money.
282
00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:44,039
Everybody talks about
wives and girlfriends.
283
00:10:44,074 --> 00:10:45,635
I'll bet he doesn't even think about it.
284
00:10:45,670 --> 00:10:47,387
- You really care?
- I don't even want to be here.
285
00:10:47,422 --> 00:10:48,692
You see, huh?
286
00:10:48,727 --> 00:10:51,337
So, let's just have a normal
conversation, all right?
287
00:10:51,372 --> 00:10:52,579
How... How have you been?
288
00:10:52,614 --> 00:10:54,168
Well, actually, I just got a gig.
289
00:10:54,222 --> 00:10:56,428
I'm gonna be the sidekick for Seth Meyers.
290
00:10:56,475 --> 00:10:57,135
It's a big deal.
291
00:10:57,170 --> 00:10:58,202
- Congratulations.
- Thanks.
292
00:10:58,237 --> 00:11:01,221
It's nice to see somebody
succeeding and not blowing it.
293
00:11:01,256 --> 00:11:04,030
All right, okay.
294
00:11:04,065 --> 00:11:04,979
That's it.
295
00:11:05,014 --> 00:11:07,367
I'm gonna be in the RV.
296
00:11:07,402 --> 00:11:09,496
Yeah. Okay. Okay.
297
00:11:09,531 --> 00:11:10,590
[Door opens, bell over door jingles]
298
00:11:10,625 --> 00:11:11,948
Seth Meyers? You and Seth Meyers?
299
00:11:11,987 --> 00:11:13,564
- Yeah.
- Wow.
300
00:11:13,610 --> 00:11:15,024
Who is Seth Meyers?
301
00:11:15,745 --> 00:11:17,749
Hey, Ben, it's Maron.
302
00:11:17,784 --> 00:11:19,131
Ben: Maron.
303
00:11:19,170 --> 00:11:21,108
[Chuckles] Where you been hiding?
304
00:11:21,237 --> 00:11:24,046
Well, I was in rehab.
305
00:11:24,081 --> 00:11:26,021
Hey, can I swing by, man?
306
00:11:26,056 --> 00:11:28,484
I can't toss you any Oxy, considering...
307
00:11:28,555 --> 00:11:30,037
Yeah, yeah, no. I-I know.
308
00:11:30,076 --> 00:11:31,814
I j... I just want to talk, man.
309
00:11:31,853 --> 00:11:33,515
You want to talk?
310
00:11:33,550 --> 00:11:37,126
Yeah, Maron, why don't you
swing by? We do need to talk.
311
00:11:37,161 --> 00:11:39,084
Oh.
312
00:11:39,119 --> 00:11:39,809
Okay.
313
00:11:39,844 --> 00:11:42,028
Uh, yeah, well, I'll see you in a bit.
314
00:11:43,037 --> 00:11:44,102
[Cellphone beeps]
315
00:11:45,877 --> 00:11:47,193
Shit.
316
00:11:50,502 --> 00:11:52,439
Okay, who's next?
317
00:11:52,474 --> 00:11:54,026
Well, it's a little tricky.
318
00:11:54,943 --> 00:11:56,220
He was my drug dealer.
319
00:11:56,255 --> 00:11:58,646
Wait a... You do not apologize to that guy.
320
00:11:58,681 --> 00:11:59,860
He's a criminal.
321
00:11:59,895 --> 00:12:02,537
Look, just stop, all
right? It is what it is.
322
00:12:02,572 --> 00:12:04,229
I go to people I have wronged, all right?
323
00:12:04,264 --> 00:12:06,219
Doesn't matter what they do, it's about me.
324
00:12:06,255 --> 00:12:09,206
Yeah, all right, all right. I got it, I
got it. Zip it up. All right, I'm done.
325
00:12:09,284 --> 00:12:10,745
All right, the other problem is,
326
00:12:10,792 --> 00:12:12,847
my sponsor says I should
bring someone with me,
327
00:12:12,882 --> 00:12:14,408
'cause I can't be alone around drugs.
328
00:12:14,447 --> 00:12:16,217
It's a slippery situation.
329
00:12:16,252 --> 00:12:18,778
You want one of us to go with
you to talk to your drug dealer?
330
00:12:18,813 --> 00:12:21,356
No, thank you, but
please tell Ben I said hi.
331
00:12:21,391 --> 00:12:23,227
Okay, fine, fine. I'll do it.
332
00:12:23,262 --> 00:12:24,571
Why? Because I'm your father.
333
00:12:24,606 --> 00:12:26,563
You see, this is what fathers do.
334
00:12:26,598 --> 00:12:28,346
Not sperm donors.
335
00:12:28,393 --> 00:12:30,777
Feel like you guys are talking in code.
336
00:12:30,812 --> 00:12:32,175
337
00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:36,477
Anyway, uh, yeah, I just
want to take responsibility
338
00:12:36,567 --> 00:12:37,952
for some of the stuff I did.
339
00:12:37,987 --> 00:12:40,854
Um, I broke your turntable, Ben,
340
00:12:40,889 --> 00:12:42,945
and, uh, I didn't tell you about it.
341
00:12:42,980 --> 00:12:46,427
I don't give a shit about no turntable.
342
00:12:46,462 --> 00:12:47,594
I just want my money.
343
00:12:47,629 --> 00:12:50,295
Yeah, I can't give you the
money, 'cause I don't have it.
344
00:12:53,326 --> 00:12:55,191
You're gonna give me the money, Maron.
345
00:12:55,226 --> 00:12:56,993
Maybe we can make a payment plan?
346
00:12:57,028 --> 00:12:58,527
- Now!
- You don't deserve any money.
347
00:12:58,562 --> 00:13:00,274
You don't even deserve an apology.
348
00:13:00,309 --> 00:13:02,543
You got my son hooked on
drugs. You're a little criminal.
349
00:13:02,578 --> 00:13:04,524
Hey, shut up, old man.
350
00:13:04,559 --> 00:13:07,293
Your precious boy was hooked on
drugs before he even came to me.
351
00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:08,362
Liar!
352
00:13:08,397 --> 00:13:09,883
All right, Dad, not helping.
353
00:13:09,918 --> 00:13:11,103
How much money you got, old school?
354
00:13:11,138 --> 00:13:13,571
Okay, okay.
355
00:13:13,606 --> 00:13:15,077
Just let me check.
356
00:13:16,687 --> 00:13:17,382
How much you got?
357
00:13:17,417 --> 00:13:18,618
- Jesus Christ.
- Oh, God.
358
00:13:18,653 --> 00:13:20,060
- Dad.
- Easy, easy.
359
00:13:20,095 --> 00:13:22,529
- Come on, man. It's just business.
- Is it, man?
360
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:23,882
Let me have your money.
361
00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:25,164
- I'd like a refund.
- All right, Dad, just...
362
00:13:25,199 --> 00:13:27,278
I can't give you no refund if
you haven't made no purchase.
363
00:13:27,313 --> 00:13:28,102
My boy did.
364
00:13:28,137 --> 00:13:30,864
Now, give it to me right now,
or I'll drop you right here.
365
00:13:35,754 --> 00:13:37,325
You're making a big mistake, old man.
366
00:13:37,425 --> 00:13:38,658
Let's go.
367
00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:40,955
This is insane. We... We got to run.
368
00:13:42,618 --> 00:13:46,186
369
00:13:50,273 --> 00:13:52,845
- Shh.
-
It always seems to rain
370
00:13:52,907 --> 00:13:55,708
In New York City
371
00:13:58,204 --> 00:14:04,508
Sidewalks have no pity
372
00:14:04,793 --> 00:14:06,860
[Tires squeal]
373
00:14:08,494 --> 00:14:09,074
Stop!
374
00:14:09,109 --> 00:14:11,012
We got to put distance
between us and that lunatic.
375
00:14:11,047 --> 00:14:12,747
You're the lunatic! Just stop the car!
376
00:14:12,782 --> 00:14:14,508
[Groans]
377
00:14:14,610 --> 00:14:15,225
Stop.
378
00:14:15,260 --> 00:14:18,288
All right, all right.
I think we're all clear.
379
00:14:18,392 --> 00:14:19,994
What the hell is wrong with you?
380
00:14:20,029 --> 00:14:21,099
- Eh?
- A gun?
381
00:14:21,134 --> 00:14:22,889
He had a knife. You're lucky I was packing.
382
00:14:22,924 --> 00:14:25,298
He's 17. His mother let us into the house.
383
00:14:25,333 --> 00:14:27,241
- Yeah, well, they're the worst kind.
- Oh, my God.
384
00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:28,816
How do you screw everything up?
385
00:14:28,851 --> 00:14:30,334
Yeah, yeah, but now we got money.
386
00:14:30,419 --> 00:14:31,303
No, we don't have money.
387
00:14:31,338 --> 00:14:33,217
Now we got to go back
and give the money back...
388
00:14:33,279 --> 00:14:34,532
- What? Oh.
- ...to the 17-year-old kid
389
00:14:34,567 --> 00:14:35,528
we stole it from.
390
00:14:35,563 --> 00:14:37,055
You couldn't have made
it worse if you tried.
391
00:14:37,090 --> 00:14:38,230
I was just trying to help.
392
00:14:38,277 --> 00:14:39,722
That's usually the problem!
393
00:14:39,757 --> 00:14:42,306
For 50 years, you've been trying to help
394
00:14:42,341 --> 00:14:44,975
and it's never worked, not once.
395
00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:50,330
You made your point.
396
00:14:58,695 --> 00:15:00,695
397
00:15:06,212 --> 00:15:07,711
[Doorbell rings]
398
00:15:15,192 --> 00:15:16,265
Hey.
399
00:15:19,510 --> 00:15:21,143
What's up?
400
00:15:21,327 --> 00:15:22,831
I-I got your money.
401
00:15:22,870 --> 00:15:24,762
Okay, well, I can't let you in.
402
00:15:24,865 --> 00:15:27,588
My mom's pissed you came running
through the house with a revolver.
403
00:15:27,623 --> 00:15:29,475
Yeah. I'm sorry about my dad, man.
404
00:15:29,510 --> 00:15:31,303
He got excited.
405
00:15:31,338 --> 00:15:32,911
He's insane.
406
00:15:32,946 --> 00:15:35,973
Yeah. Least you got a dad.
407
00:15:36,099 --> 00:15:37,112
Okay. Yeah.
408
00:15:37,147 --> 00:15:38,834
W-What do you want me to do with this?
409
00:15:39,361 --> 00:15:41,099
Just put it in the mailbox.
410
00:15:42,804 --> 00:15:44,082
All right.
411
00:15:44,171 --> 00:15:47,328
So, uh, sorry about the turntable.
412
00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:50,459
And, uh, I stole some Oxy from you once.
413
00:15:50,494 --> 00:15:52,090
That was wrong.
414
00:15:52,250 --> 00:15:56,384
And I appreciate all the
Oxy you gave me, kinda.
415
00:15:56,419 --> 00:15:57,662
You know what I mean.
416
00:15:58,024 --> 00:15:59,603
Yeah, okay.
417
00:16:00,603 --> 00:16:01,833
We cool?
418
00:16:02,016 --> 00:16:04,149
No. You should go.
419
00:16:04,645 --> 00:16:06,945
All right.
420
00:16:06,980 --> 00:16:09,914
I really hope you stay sober.
421
00:16:09,949 --> 00:16:11,782
I appreciate that.
422
00:16:26,775 --> 00:16:27,938
All right.
423
00:16:28,719 --> 00:16:30,804
We got one more stop for today.
424
00:16:30,873 --> 00:16:33,106
Oh, now we go see the lesbians, right?
425
00:16:33,235 --> 00:16:35,826
So you give me a signal so I know
which one you put the sperm in.
426
00:16:35,861 --> 00:16:37,111
No. No, no, no.
427
00:16:37,146 --> 00:16:40,738
You're gonna stay in the RV 'cause
I don't want anyone to get shot
428
00:16:40,773 --> 00:16:42,404
or for you to talk.
429
00:16:42,439 --> 00:16:43,548
[Sighs]
430
00:16:43,583 --> 00:16:44,842
[Engine starts]
431
00:16:44,878 --> 00:16:46,878
432
00:17:00,191 --> 00:17:01,708
- No.
- Hang on, hang on, all right?
433
00:17:01,743 --> 00:17:03,341
I'm clean. I'm... I sobered up.
434
00:17:03,376 --> 00:17:05,346
I went to rehab and everything.
435
00:17:05,381 --> 00:17:06,557
Good for you. Why are you here?
436
00:17:06,592 --> 00:17:08,127
I-I just want to make an amends, okay?
437
00:17:08,162 --> 00:17:09,803
Just want to talk, that's it.
438
00:17:09,838 --> 00:17:10,688
Fine.
439
00:17:10,723 --> 00:17:14,793
Okay, is Shay here? Because I'd
like to make it to... to both of you.
440
00:17:14,860 --> 00:17:16,261
She doesn't live here anymore. We broke up.
441
00:17:16,296 --> 00:17:17,924
She lives up in Chilton with her mom.
442
00:17:17,959 --> 00:17:19,377
Chilton?
443
00:17:19,412 --> 00:17:22,109
Jesus Christ.
444
00:17:22,144 --> 00:17:24,353
Well, that's too bad. You
guys were a great couple.
445
00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:26,313
Oh, bullshit.
446
00:17:26,348 --> 00:17:28,565
Baby thing was a Hail Mary pass.
447
00:17:28,628 --> 00:17:30,755
And you didn't help things
by having sex with her
448
00:17:30,790 --> 00:17:32,229
behind my back.
449
00:17:32,264 --> 00:17:34,606
Th-That was nothing. That
was... wasn't even fun.
450
00:17:34,641 --> 00:17:36,768
That was for you guys.
451
00:17:36,803 --> 00:17:38,209
Sure.
452
00:17:39,621 --> 00:17:42,413
So... So what about the kid?
453
00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:44,335
I haven't seen him.
454
00:17:44,871 --> 00:17:46,504
Him. It's a him.
455
00:17:46,539 --> 00:17:49,454
Yeah, she had him up
there, like in a forest,
456
00:17:49,509 --> 00:17:51,742
some sort of natural birth.
457
00:17:51,807 --> 00:17:54,801
Oh. Wow. So, like right on the dirt?
458
00:17:54,836 --> 00:17:56,714
I don't know. It's a new fad.
459
00:17:57,205 --> 00:17:59,823
What about bugs and stuff getting up there?
460
00:17:59,878 --> 00:18:02,386
I don't know. It's some
crazy shit. She's crazy.
461
00:18:04,241 --> 00:18:07,961
So I guess that means you don't have
any, uh, pictures or anything, right?
462
00:18:07,996 --> 00:18:09,794
Oh, no, I... [chuckles]
463
00:18:09,930 --> 00:18:12,322
I have pictures. She sends
them to me to make me feel bad.
464
00:18:12,357 --> 00:18:14,688
Uh-huh. And do you feel bad?
465
00:18:14,723 --> 00:18:19,256
Yeah. Of course. I mean, I miss
her. I just couldn't handle her.
466
00:18:19,291 --> 00:18:21,151
Wow, look at this kid.
467
00:18:21,186 --> 00:18:22,840
He looks like me.
468
00:18:22,921 --> 00:18:26,674
That's weird. I wasn't expecting
that, but, I mean, it makes sense.
469
00:18:26,709 --> 00:18:28,337
Oh, look at that guy.
470
00:18:28,372 --> 00:18:30,181
I'm gonna text this to
myself, is that okay?
471
00:18:30,216 --> 00:18:31,061
No.
472
00:18:31,096 --> 00:18:33,083
Okay. Send.
473
00:18:33,118 --> 00:18:35,319
- [Cellphone chimes]
- Okay.
474
00:18:35,608 --> 00:18:40,171
So, do I need to be worried
about Shay raising that kid?
475
00:18:42,399 --> 00:18:43,831
Yeah.
476
00:18:44,281 --> 00:18:45,853
Shit.
477
00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:55,676
Oh, yeah.
478
00:18:55,711 --> 00:18:59,353
Uh, I'm sorry for breaking
that stuff in your bathroom
479
00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:01,413
and having sex with your girlfriend.
480
00:19:01,448 --> 00:19:02,755
But she didn't cum or anything, okay?
481
00:19:02,790 --> 00:19:05,545
It was really sort of a deposit situation.
482
00:19:05,580 --> 00:19:08,958
It was kind of like me
masturbating into a person.
483
00:19:08,993 --> 00:19:11,203
Okay, so, we good?
484
00:19:13,128 --> 00:19:14,761
No.
485
00:19:14,923 --> 00:19:16,424
We are not good.
486
00:19:16,585 --> 00:19:19,187
487
00:19:23,187 --> 00:19:25,474
How'd it go? Did you see the kid?
488
00:19:25,559 --> 00:19:28,094
- No. Kid's not there.
- No?
489
00:19:28,129 --> 00:19:31,780
They... They broke up and the other
one took the kid and moved upstate.
490
00:19:31,815 --> 00:19:33,634
Oh.
491
00:19:33,669 --> 00:19:34,673
You dodged a bullet.
492
00:19:34,708 --> 00:19:37,053
Ah, that's a screwy
situation. Yeah, trust me.
493
00:19:37,088 --> 00:19:39,395
Just check in with me in a few
years, you'll see what I mean.
494
00:19:39,430 --> 00:19:41,522
What... What about all
that "being a father" stuff
495
00:19:41,557 --> 00:19:43,109
you were talking about earlier?
496
00:19:43,144 --> 00:19:44,097
Look at us.
497
00:19:44,132 --> 00:19:45,711
There's no guarantee.
498
00:19:46,337 --> 00:19:47,923
Yeah.
499
00:19:47,995 --> 00:19:50,497
Hey, look, you know...
500
00:19:50,532 --> 00:19:53,285
I know you did the best you
could, and you still are.
501
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:57,530
And if I did anything to
make you feel differently,
502
00:19:57,565 --> 00:19:58,366
I'm sorry.
503
00:19:58,401 --> 00:20:00,726
And, you know, I-I said a lot
of things I shouldn't have.
504
00:20:00,762 --> 00:20:02,128
- Oh, I...
- You know, I-I'm sorry.
505
00:20:02,163 --> 00:20:04,476
Oh, oh, Okay. Oh, okay.
506
00:20:04,511 --> 00:20:06,165
Look at that.
507
00:20:08,025 --> 00:20:10,739
[Sighs]
508
00:20:10,774 --> 00:20:12,240
Here.
509
00:20:12,519 --> 00:20:15,143
- What's this?
- No, just take 'em. Go.
510
00:20:15,943 --> 00:20:17,419
I'm just a donor.
511
00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:20,046
No such thing.
512
00:20:20,174 --> 00:20:21,915
Go ahead. You know what you want to do.
513
00:20:23,493 --> 00:20:25,214
- Mm.
- What are you gonna do?
514
00:20:25,249 --> 00:20:26,224
Don't worry about me.
515
00:20:26,259 --> 00:20:27,753
I can take care of myself.
516
00:20:27,947 --> 00:20:28,834
All right.
517
00:20:28,884 --> 00:20:31,284
Well... thanks.
518
00:20:31,319 --> 00:20:32,047
Yeah.
519
00:20:32,082 --> 00:20:33,536
- I love you, Dad.
- Thank you.
520
00:20:33,571 --> 00:20:35,791
I-I do... I do, too. I do, too.
521
00:20:43,788 --> 00:20:44,792
[Engine starts]
522
00:20:44,843 --> 00:20:46,509
523
00:21:00,225 --> 00:21:03,760
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
524
00:21:03,851 --> 00:21:05,584
There's no s...
525
00:21:05,639 --> 00:21:10,639
Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.addic7ed.com
526
00:21:10,689 --> 00:21:15,239
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
37130
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