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1
00:00:01,402 --> 00:00:03,631
The line at the post office was ridiculous.
2
00:00:03,656 --> 00:00:05,865
Wow. This is a lot of stuff, man.
3
00:00:05,890 --> 00:00:07,514
We gotta go through all this stuff?
4
00:00:07,539 --> 00:00:08,926
Yeah. What do you think this is?
5
00:00:08,961 --> 00:00:11,240
I don't know. Looks exciting, though.
6
00:00:11,265 --> 00:00:13,064
Open it up. [ Tape rips ]
7
00:00:13,391 --> 00:00:15,960
- Every day's like my birthday.
- Yeah, happy birthday.
8
00:00:15,994 --> 00:00:19,563
No, it's not today. I meant that
because I get so much, it's...
9
00:00:19,597 --> 00:00:20,965
I was just going with your simile.
10
00:00:20,999 --> 00:00:22,599
I...
11
00:00:22,634 --> 00:00:25,436
What?! Awesome!
12
00:00:25,470 --> 00:00:26,804
Look at that!
13
00:00:26,838 --> 00:00:28,305
That was a weird experience for me,
14
00:00:28,340 --> 00:00:30,641
to see me pulled out of a box at that size.
15
00:00:30,675 --> 00:00:33,811
That is amazing! You
have very talented fans.
16
00:00:33,845 --> 00:00:35,746
That is my gift to you,
17
00:00:35,780 --> 00:00:38,315
so you can take it back to your car.
18
00:00:38,350 --> 00:00:40,178
Whoa, Marc, no way. I couldn't.
19
00:00:40,203 --> 00:00:41,652
I mean, somebody put
a lot of work into that
20
00:00:41,686 --> 00:00:43,821
because they wanted
you to have it, not me.
21
00:00:43,855 --> 00:00:45,485
That's exactly right,
22
00:00:45,510 --> 00:00:47,491
but I think it's a testament to
my appreciation for you
23
00:00:47,525 --> 00:00:49,760
that I would give that
painting to you.
24
00:00:49,794 --> 00:00:52,262
I also have nowhere to
hang it in this house.
25
00:00:52,297 --> 00:00:55,899
So take it back to your place
and hang it in your bedroom.
26
00:00:55,934 --> 00:00:57,088
Mnh, that would be weird.
27
00:00:57,113 --> 00:00:58,802
So let's, uh, let's get on with this.
28
00:00:58,837 --> 00:01:01,805
Okay. Where to start? How about this CD?
29
00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:04,308
- All right. Who is it?
- The Stupids.
30
00:01:04,342 --> 00:01:05,440
Nah.
31
00:01:05,465 --> 00:01:07,778
Okay.
32
00:01:07,812 --> 00:01:10,748
Hmm. B.J. Novak's new book?
33
00:01:10,782 --> 00:01:13,283
Wow. I just fell asleep in
the middle of you saying that.
34
00:01:13,318 --> 00:01:14,952
Um... Okay.
35
00:01:16,488 --> 00:01:17,821
[ Scoffs and laughs ]
36
00:01:17,856 --> 00:01:20,991
Here's a dumb name... Michelle Coyote.
37
00:01:21,026 --> 00:01:23,527
Holy shit! That's my ex-wife.
38
00:01:23,561 --> 00:01:26,530
She wrote a book! She finally did it.
39
00:01:26,564 --> 00:01:28,098
Wow. Good for her.
40
00:01:28,133 --> 00:01:29,533
Hmm. Think it's about me?
41
00:01:29,567 --> 00:01:32,036
Mm, doesn't seem like it's about you.
42
00:01:32,070 --> 00:01:34,304
It's called "Please Daddy, Why?"
43
00:01:34,339 --> 00:01:35,213
I don't know.
44
00:01:35,238 --> 00:01:37,941
Could still be kinda about
me, in a sideways way.
45
00:01:37,976 --> 00:01:39,610
Let me see it. Hmm.
46
00:01:39,644 --> 00:01:41,145
It's weird that she would
just send you her book
47
00:01:41,179 --> 00:01:43,213
without telling you. Oh,
she didn't send it to me.
48
00:01:43,248 --> 00:01:44,948
She doesn't ever wanna talk to me again.
49
00:01:44,983 --> 00:01:48,452
Her publisher sent it without
knowing about it. Right?
50
00:01:48,486 --> 00:01:50,954
God! I wonder what's in this book.
51
00:01:50,989 --> 00:01:54,391
Dude, read it for me and
tell me if she mentions me.
52
00:01:54,426 --> 00:01:56,527
Oh, come on. You want me
to read this whole book?
53
00:01:56,561 --> 00:01:58,809
Why don't you read it?
She's your ex-wife.
54
00:01:58,834 --> 00:02:01,065
Yeah, it's just too painful for me.
55
00:02:02,734 --> 00:02:05,169
Could you highlight the
portions that she mentions me,
56
00:02:05,203 --> 00:02:06,870
if she does?
57
00:02:06,905 --> 00:02:08,652
[ "The Poisoned Well" plays ]
58
00:02:11,543 --> 00:02:13,877
Won't fall for it
59
00:02:13,912 --> 00:02:16,180
you can't see
60
00:02:16,214 --> 00:02:18,749
and you can't tell
61
00:02:18,783 --> 00:02:21,418
I just can't drink
62
00:02:21,453 --> 00:02:22,899
from the poisoned well
63
00:02:22,923 --> 00:02:25,758
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
- www.addic7ed.com -
64
00:02:27,540 --> 00:02:29,796
I haven't really talked to
her in, like, seven years.
65
00:02:29,821 --> 00:02:31,773
I mean, it would be insane
to have her on the show.
66
00:02:31,798 --> 00:02:33,699
I... I might lose my shit.
67
00:02:33,734 --> 00:02:35,634
- It might be horrible.
- Yeah.
68
00:02:35,669 --> 00:02:37,837
You gotta do it, give
her a piece of your mind.
69
00:02:37,871 --> 00:02:39,171
She deserves it.
70
00:02:39,206 --> 00:02:39,992
Hey, I deserve it
71
00:02:40,017 --> 00:02:42,211
for putting up with all your
little crying phone calls.
72
00:02:42,236 --> 00:02:43,836
That's what friends do, Dave.
73
00:02:43,861 --> 00:02:46,278
Yeah. [ Sighs ] But we're not really friends.
74
00:02:46,313 --> 00:02:47,880
[ Laughs ] Was kind of pathetic.
75
00:02:47,914 --> 00:02:49,215
I gotta do it.
76
00:02:49,249 --> 00:02:51,050
- Yeah.
- She's moved on. Let it go.
77
00:02:51,084 --> 00:02:53,015
She doesn't have any unresolved stuff.
78
00:02:53,046 --> 00:02:54,720
How is that even possible, Andy?
79
00:02:54,755 --> 00:02:56,222
I mean, she left me without warning.
80
00:02:56,256 --> 00:02:58,023
She destroyed my life.
She took all my money.
81
00:02:58,058 --> 00:03:00,559
She doesn't talk to me anymore.
It's gotta be eating at her.
82
00:03:02,062 --> 00:03:03,415
How do you know anyways?
83
00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:05,498
We still see her
sometimes. She's doing well.
84
00:03:05,532 --> 00:03:06,966
What? I don't believe this.
85
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:08,701
What kind of underhanded,
cowardly, betraying,
86
00:03:08,735 --> 00:03:11,504
Judas-like, backstabbing
bullshit is that, Andy?
87
00:03:11,538 --> 00:03:13,572
Wow. That was a lot of words.
88
00:03:13,607 --> 00:03:15,975
- I-I amaze myself.
- We were all friends.
89
00:03:16,009 --> 00:03:18,144
Oh, no, I never liked her.
90
00:03:18,178 --> 00:03:20,413
I just didn't wanna get
in the middle of anything.
91
00:03:20,447 --> 00:03:22,348
I don't even know who you
are anymore. You're out.
92
00:03:22,382 --> 00:03:23,866
What does that mean?
93
00:03:23,891 --> 00:03:25,851
I don't know. I don't wanna
get in the middle of anything.
94
00:03:26,397 --> 00:03:28,077
Does she ever ask about me?
95
00:03:28,102 --> 00:03:29,460
No.
96
00:03:29,485 --> 00:03:31,520
Never, actually.
97
00:03:32,193 --> 00:03:33,259
All right, that's it.
98
00:03:33,293 --> 00:03:34,693
I'm following up with her publisher,
99
00:03:34,728 --> 00:03:36,328
I'm gonna try to get her on the show.
100
00:03:36,363 --> 00:03:37,997
That would be a mistake,
101
00:03:38,031 --> 00:03:39,765
and I'm saying that as your friend.
102
00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:41,167
Well, as a friend, you're dead to me.
103
00:03:41,201 --> 00:03:43,602
As an acquaintance, your
advice means nothing.
104
00:03:43,637 --> 00:03:45,371
105
00:03:45,405 --> 00:03:46,772
Man: So you're married
now with two children.
106
00:03:46,807 --> 00:03:48,340
Michelle: Yes.
107
00:03:48,375 --> 00:03:50,609
But this isn't your
first marriage, is it?
108
00:03:50,644 --> 00:03:53,913
I was briefly married to a
comic for a few years, yeah.
109
00:03:53,947 --> 00:03:56,348
Marc Maron, right?
110
00:03:56,383 --> 00:03:57,637
Yes.
111
00:03:57,662 --> 00:04:00,352
But we all make a lot of
mistakes when we're young.
112
00:04:00,387 --> 00:04:01,567
Ugh.
113
00:04:01,592 --> 00:04:02,926
It's not important.
114
00:04:02,958 --> 00:04:04,892
I don't talk about that
part of my life in the book.
115
00:04:04,927 --> 00:04:06,394
Okay.
116
00:04:07,138 --> 00:04:08,429
Monkey,
117
00:04:08,464 --> 00:04:11,730
I think we were just nicely
called a mistake on PBS.
118
00:04:11,755 --> 00:04:13,355
Buddy? [ Pats bed ]
119
00:04:13,390 --> 00:04:15,758
Monkey?
120
00:04:15,792 --> 00:04:17,226
Do you remember Michelle?
121
00:04:17,260 --> 00:04:21,363
She "briefly" lived here for a while.
122
00:04:21,398 --> 00:04:23,265
123
00:04:23,300 --> 00:04:25,234
The publisher said she'll do the show,
124
00:04:25,268 --> 00:04:27,403
but she doesn't wanna get into
any personal stuff with you.
125
00:04:27,437 --> 00:04:28,804
She just wants to talk about the book,
126
00:04:28,838 --> 00:04:30,272
which I finished, by the way,
127
00:04:30,307 --> 00:04:32,408
and you are not mentioned in once.
128
00:04:32,442 --> 00:04:33,942
Not at all. It's a very good book.
129
00:04:33,977 --> 00:04:36,779
Okay. All right. But it
doesn't add up, does it?
130
00:04:36,813 --> 00:04:38,253
I mean, why would she agree to do it?
131
00:04:38,281 --> 00:04:39,982
She must want to connect with me.
132
00:04:40,016 --> 00:04:42,084
I mean, she knows it's loaded.
133
00:04:42,118 --> 00:04:43,786
Or maybe she's being professional
134
00:04:43,820 --> 00:04:45,587
and knows that a lot of
people listen to your podcast,
135
00:04:45,622 --> 00:04:47,256
and she wants to sell some books?
136
00:04:47,290 --> 00:04:49,391
- Nah, screw that.
- Or not.
137
00:04:49,426 --> 00:04:50,826
I should've called her myself.
138
00:04:50,860 --> 00:04:53,729
I didn't want to ruin
the potential rawness.
139
00:04:53,763 --> 00:04:55,831
All right.
140
00:04:55,865 --> 00:04:59,668
I will not guarantee
anything, but I'll agree to it.
141
00:04:59,703 --> 00:05:02,604
- You're not even gonna try, are you?
- No. Of course not.
142
00:05:04,140 --> 00:05:05,963
- Mary Lynn.
- Yes. Hello.
143
00:05:05,988 --> 00:05:06,975
I've known... Hi. How are you?
144
00:05:07,010 --> 00:05:08,510
I feel like I've known
you since you were a child.
145
00:05:08,545 --> 00:05:10,412
- Is that possible?
- I ha... that is possible.
146
00:05:10,447 --> 00:05:12,815
And I never thought that
you would be, like...
147
00:05:12,849 --> 00:05:15,084
That you would be, like, a road comic.
148
00:05:15,118 --> 00:05:16,685
I almost felt like I had to conquer it
149
00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:19,088
- and go out on the road.
- Well, who comes to see you?
150
00:05:19,122 --> 00:05:22,191
A lot of people that know me from "24."
151
00:05:22,225 --> 00:05:24,326
But what are... Who are those people?
152
00:05:24,361 --> 00:05:26,261
- Like, what are they like? - They...
they don't leave the house very much.
153
00:05:26,296 --> 00:05:28,097
Oh, really? They've
never been to a comedy club.
154
00:05:28,131 --> 00:05:31,033
And they're expecting to see
Chloe O'Brian, computer genius,
155
00:05:31,067 --> 00:05:33,602
- that... which I'm not.
- You don't know anything about computers?
156
00:05:33,636 --> 00:05:36,672
No. I don't know anything. They
think it might be real. [ Laughing ]
157
00:05:36,706 --> 00:05:38,307
That's so sad and beautiful.
158
00:05:38,341 --> 00:05:41,176
They wanna know, is Kiefer
my best friend in real life?
159
00:05:41,211 --> 00:05:43,312
- [ Groans ]
- They expect him to be there with me.
160
00:05:43,346 --> 00:05:45,714
- So powerful.
- It is. I mean that's the thing.
161
00:05:45,716 --> 00:05:47,727
It's a huge compliment to that show,
162
00:05:47,752 --> 00:05:49,539
that people are very attached to it.
163
00:05:49,564 --> 00:05:51,954
I guess that's one way.
That's one side of it.
164
00:05:51,988 --> 00:05:53,926
[ Laughs ] What's the other side?
165
00:05:53,951 --> 00:05:56,539
Very sad that people can't
tell the difference
166
00:05:56,573 --> 00:05:58,474
between reality and a TV show.
167
00:05:58,508 --> 00:05:59,747
They're excited.
168
00:05:59,772 --> 00:06:01,325
They love me and they love my character.
169
00:06:01,350 --> 00:06:03,479
- So we've been through a lot.
- Yeah.
170
00:06:03,513 --> 00:06:06,582
And... and you've been through
a lot of relationships.
171
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:09,485
And I-I'm, uh, I'm getting a bit cynical.
172
00:06:09,510 --> 00:06:12,047
I mean... you just gotta
keep trying. Open your heart.
173
00:06:12,072 --> 00:06:15,424
What's the benefit of this
heart-opening business?
174
00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:16,164
Let joy in.
175
00:06:16,189 --> 00:06:18,258
No! No! That's terrifying. [ Chuckles ]
176
00:06:18,283 --> 00:06:21,831
Do you think you enjoy feeling... Bad?
177
00:06:21,865 --> 00:06:24,055
- No, but I think I'm used to it.
- Mm.
178
00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:25,801
- I thought you were gonna...
- Speaking of that,
179
00:06:25,836 --> 00:06:27,436
I have to see my ex-wife today...
180
00:06:27,471 --> 00:06:28,904
- Oh, no.
- And I haven't talked to her in years.
181
00:06:28,939 --> 00:06:31,140
Well, that's not good.
No wonder. That's heavy.
182
00:06:31,174 --> 00:06:32,575
You p... Are you today for this?
183
00:06:32,609 --> 00:06:33,786
What?
184
00:06:33,811 --> 00:06:36,645
- You gotta ground yourself.
- All right. I will do it.
185
00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:38,013
- You know where you stand with her?
- No.
186
00:06:38,048 --> 00:06:38,887
- You know what you expect?
- I have no... no.
187
00:06:38,912 --> 00:06:40,083
Oh, God. This is gonna be a mess.
188
00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:41,742
- You're gonna be crying the whole time.
- [ Whispers ] Oh.
189
00:06:42,614 --> 00:06:44,814
Okay. That was very helpful.
190
00:06:44,864 --> 00:06:46,372
This is an odd interview.
191
00:06:46,397 --> 00:06:48,831
All of a sudden, I feel
like I'm trying to help you.
192
00:06:48,856 --> 00:06:51,024
Well, sometimes that's the
way it goes. [ Laughing ]
193
00:06:51,361 --> 00:06:53,490
[ Laughs ] What?
194
00:06:53,515 --> 00:06:55,380
- Hey, thanks again for doing it.
- Sure.
195
00:06:55,405 --> 00:06:57,068
- Can we just do a selfie
for the web site? - Yeah.
196
00:06:57,459 --> 00:06:58,759
[ Camera shutter clicks ] Mm-hmm.
197
00:06:58,784 --> 00:07:00,247
[ Chuckles ]
198
00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:04,715
Hey, could we do another selfie?
199
00:07:04,749 --> 00:07:06,283
Yeah, sure.
200
00:07:06,318 --> 00:07:07,685
Oh. [ Muffled ] Mm-hmm.
201
00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:09,150
[ Camera shutter clicks ] [ Kisses ] Yeah.
202
00:07:09,175 --> 00:07:10,864
Mary Lynn: Right. Okay. Right?
203
00:07:10,889 --> 00:07:12,156
- Yeah.
- Marc?
204
00:07:12,190 --> 00:07:13,490
Oh, hey, Coyote.
205
00:07:13,525 --> 00:07:14,825
This is Mary Lynn, my friend.
206
00:07:14,859 --> 00:07:16,493
Hi. This is Michelle, my ex-wife.
207
00:07:16,528 --> 00:07:17,962
I love your work. It's nice to meet you.
208
00:07:17,996 --> 00:07:19,296
Oh, thank you. Thanks.
All right, I'll see you.
209
00:07:19,331 --> 00:07:21,565
Okay, I'll see you later.
210
00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:24,068
Okay.
211
00:07:24,102 --> 00:07:25,736
[ Sighs ] Uh...
212
00:07:25,770 --> 00:07:28,205
Are... You ready to do this?
213
00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:31,208
Okay. Come on in.
214
00:07:38,353 --> 00:07:40,387
Welcome home.
215
00:07:40,422 --> 00:07:41,889
It's a joke. Come on.
216
00:07:41,923 --> 00:07:43,224
Bad joke.
217
00:07:43,258 --> 00:07:44,649
[ Exhales deeply ] Oh.
218
00:07:44,674 --> 00:07:46,634
Wasn't sure I could come
back here. [ Closes door ]
219
00:07:47,062 --> 00:07:48,782
It's like returning to
the scene of a crime.
220
00:07:48,797 --> 00:07:52,199
Oh, come on. That's a little
extreme, isn't it, Michelle?
221
00:07:52,234 --> 00:07:54,735
No, not really.
222
00:07:54,769 --> 00:07:57,905
Some of the worst times
of my life happened here.
223
00:07:59,274 --> 00:08:01,442
Well, there were some good
times, right? [ Exhales slowly ]
224
00:08:01,476 --> 00:08:04,044
There was... some fun was had,
225
00:08:04,079 --> 00:08:06,213
or am I just making that up?
226
00:08:06,248 --> 00:08:08,875
Yeah, there were some good times.
227
00:08:10,118 --> 00:08:11,785
Some of the best times of my life.
228
00:08:11,820 --> 00:08:15,055
But they really got
buried by the bad times.
229
00:08:15,090 --> 00:08:16,457
Remember when we moved in?
230
00:08:16,491 --> 00:08:18,159
Yeah, I do.
231
00:08:19,427 --> 00:08:21,629
This is amazing!
232
00:08:21,663 --> 00:08:24,031
I never thought I'd have a house.
233
00:08:24,065 --> 00:08:26,534
Weird. Did... Did we get ripped off, man?
234
00:08:26,568 --> 00:08:27,968
I mean, this...
235
00:08:28,003 --> 00:08:29,537
This place seems shoddy
now that we're in it.
236
00:08:29,571 --> 00:08:30,971
I mean, it's smaller.
237
00:08:31,006 --> 00:08:32,740
Doesn't it seem small? Am I crazy?
238
00:08:32,774 --> 00:08:34,074
I mean... [ Scoffs ]
239
00:08:34,902 --> 00:08:36,610
Is our shit even gonna fit in this house?
240
00:08:36,645 --> 00:08:38,579
Of course it will.
241
00:08:38,613 --> 00:08:40,481
It's gonna work out great.
242
00:08:40,515 --> 00:08:42,515
I'm so sick of being
screwed! You know what I mean?
243
00:08:42,517 --> 00:08:44,985
This place is like a shack!
244
00:08:45,020 --> 00:08:47,421
It's a goddamn shack!
245
00:08:48,857 --> 00:08:50,758
What a great day.
246
00:08:50,792 --> 00:08:54,128
This is amazing! I'm so excited!
247
00:08:54,162 --> 00:08:56,096
I never thought I'd have a house.
248
00:08:56,131 --> 00:08:57,898
I love you so much. Mwah.
249
00:08:57,933 --> 00:09:00,100
It's really great. I'm so happy.
250
00:09:00,135 --> 00:09:01,335
- [ Giggles ]
- Wow!
251
00:09:01,369 --> 00:09:02,670
I can't wait to get settled in.
252
00:09:02,704 --> 00:09:04,171
I love you, too! Mmm!
253
00:09:04,206 --> 00:09:05,472
Aw! [ Laughs ]
254
00:09:05,507 --> 00:09:08,108
Come on, let's look around.
255
00:09:08,143 --> 00:09:09,777
Yeah.
256
00:09:09,811 --> 00:09:12,146
Yeah. Great.
257
00:09:12,180 --> 00:09:13,647
Did you read my book?
258
00:09:13,682 --> 00:09:15,115
Yes. I loved it.
259
00:09:15,150 --> 00:09:17,818
I was just happy it wasn't about me.
260
00:09:17,852 --> 00:09:20,354
I'm not gonna write a book about us.
261
00:09:20,388 --> 00:09:23,490
It's bad enough when people
Google my name, you come up.
262
00:09:23,525 --> 00:09:24,825
What comes up?
263
00:09:24,859 --> 00:09:27,861
Your one-man show about me is,
like, 3rd thing down
264
00:09:27,896 --> 00:09:30,164
- Mm-hmm.
- What was it called again?
265
00:09:30,198 --> 00:09:31,632
"Screw Her."
266
00:09:32,867 --> 00:09:35,202
Well, it... it was a very honest show.
267
00:09:35,237 --> 00:09:37,338
All right? I cried during that show.
268
00:09:37,372 --> 00:09:38,672
Good for you.
269
00:09:38,707 --> 00:09:40,874
I cried during most of our marriage.
270
00:09:40,909 --> 00:09:42,343
You mind if I keep looking at the house?
271
00:09:42,377 --> 00:09:44,545
No. It was once your house.
272
00:09:47,849 --> 00:09:50,851
Bathroom. Good times.
273
00:09:54,155 --> 00:09:55,456
[ Mouth full ] Love you.
274
00:09:55,490 --> 00:09:56,991
[ Mouth full ] I love you.
275
00:09:57,025 --> 00:09:58,359
- You gettin' it?
- Uh-huh.
276
00:09:58,393 --> 00:09:59,793
Uh-huh.
277
00:09:59,828 --> 00:10:01,161
[ Chuckles ] [ Chuckles ]
278
00:10:01,196 --> 00:10:04,999
[ Coughs and spits ]
279
00:10:05,033 --> 00:10:06,500
Eh.
280
00:10:07,775 --> 00:10:10,037
[ Knock on door ] What? I'm peeing.
281
00:10:10,071 --> 00:10:11,972
I gotta go. It's an emergency situation.
282
00:10:12,007 --> 00:10:13,240
Well, hold on a sec.
283
00:10:13,275 --> 00:10:14,541
Oh, God. [ Groans ]
284
00:10:14,576 --> 00:10:15,976
What? I can't.
285
00:10:16,011 --> 00:10:18,746
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I feel... ohh.
286
00:10:18,780 --> 00:10:20,384
Wow. Ohh!
287
00:10:20,409 --> 00:10:23,250
I just... I'm sorry. I couldn't wait.
288
00:10:23,285 --> 00:10:25,753
[ Exhales sharply ] You
could've gone outside.
289
00:10:25,787 --> 00:10:27,554
[ Urine trickling ]
290
00:10:27,589 --> 00:10:29,757
I, I didn't even think of that.
291
00:10:32,527 --> 00:10:34,094
How's the family?
292
00:10:34,129 --> 00:10:35,562
Everybody's fine. Thanks for asking.
293
00:10:35,597 --> 00:10:37,731
How many kids you got now? Like, six?
294
00:10:37,766 --> 00:10:40,034
- Just two.
- Uh-huh. How's goofus?
295
00:10:40,068 --> 00:10:42,202
- His name is Jerry.
- I was close.
296
00:10:42,237 --> 00:10:44,505
No. He's fine, Marc.
297
00:10:44,539 --> 00:10:45,839
He's busy.
298
00:10:45,874 --> 00:10:48,442
Well, busy's good.
299
00:10:48,476 --> 00:10:50,077
Those curtains.
300
00:10:50,111 --> 00:10:52,746
What happened to those
curtains? They're all ripped up.
301
00:10:52,781 --> 00:10:54,281
Yeah, the cat does that.
302
00:10:54,316 --> 00:10:56,517
I guess I should get new ones.
303
00:10:56,551 --> 00:10:59,353
I loved those curtains.
304
00:10:59,387 --> 00:11:01,355
I loved this room. [ Inhales deeply ]
305
00:11:02,464 --> 00:11:05,526
I remember when we put those up.
306
00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:08,495
Yeah, that was a... Fun day.
307
00:11:10,632 --> 00:11:12,390
I'm done. Are they straight?
308
00:11:12,415 --> 00:11:15,043
Yeah, baby. I think you've got it.
309
00:11:15,070 --> 00:11:18,739
Who says a Jew can't use tools?
I've defied the stereotype.
310
00:11:18,773 --> 00:11:21,041
Good job. They look perfect.
311
00:11:21,076 --> 00:11:22,376
I love you.
312
00:11:22,410 --> 00:11:23,711
I love you.
313
00:11:23,745 --> 00:11:25,279
[ Whirs ]
314
00:11:25,313 --> 00:11:27,481
- Yeah.
- I love you.
315
00:11:27,515 --> 00:11:30,150
Yeah. You were a real handyman.
316
00:11:30,185 --> 00:11:32,086
We should've hired someone to do this.
317
00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:33,554
[ Sighs ] It would've been easier.
318
00:11:33,588 --> 00:11:36,123
Screw that. I can do it. I'm not a moron.
319
00:11:36,157 --> 00:11:38,094
Jews can use tools.
320
00:11:38,119 --> 00:11:40,094
[ Whirs ]
321
00:11:40,128 --> 00:11:42,730
Oh, goddamn it. What the...
322
00:11:42,764 --> 00:11:44,965
Come on. Come on! [ Drill thuds ]
323
00:11:44,999 --> 00:11:46,767
Screw this.
324
00:11:49,504 --> 00:11:52,506
Can I ask you why you
are still in this house?
325
00:11:52,540 --> 00:11:54,408
Yeah. 'Cause it's my house.
326
00:11:54,442 --> 00:11:56,910
I earned it.
327
00:11:56,945 --> 00:12:01,081
I don't know why you had
to break me financially.
328
00:12:01,116 --> 00:12:02,950
It's just what happens with divorce.
329
00:12:02,984 --> 00:12:04,814
Lawyers do what they do.
330
00:12:04,839 --> 00:12:06,687
Oh, blame the lawyers. That's convenient.
331
00:12:06,721 --> 00:12:08,922
I mean, you left
me, for Christ's sake.
332
00:12:08,957 --> 00:12:11,091
You got your one-man show
out of it. Get over it.
333
00:12:11,126 --> 00:12:12,526
Are you shitting me?
334
00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:14,294
[ Cell phone vibrates ]
335
00:12:14,329 --> 00:12:15,963
[ Vibrates ]
336
00:12:15,997 --> 00:12:17,297
What?
337
00:12:17,332 --> 00:12:18,699
Hey, Marc. It's Mary Lynn.
338
00:12:18,733 --> 00:12:20,667
Who?
339
00:12:20,702 --> 00:12:22,136
Rajskub.
340
00:12:22,170 --> 00:12:23,437
Okay. What?
341
00:12:24,224 --> 00:12:26,006
Well, I was thinking...
342
00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:28,308
You know, earlier...
343
00:12:28,343 --> 00:12:29,943
[ Groans and chuckles ]
344
00:12:29,978 --> 00:12:32,479
I... I thought there was
kind of a vibe between us,
345
00:12:32,514 --> 00:12:35,941
and I... ugh. God, this is so hard.
346
00:12:35,966 --> 00:12:38,034
I-i can't do this now.
347
00:12:38,353 --> 00:12:40,721
What? Hello?
348
00:12:40,755 --> 00:12:42,189
349
00:12:42,223 --> 00:12:43,791
[ Sighs ]
350
00:12:43,825 --> 00:12:45,626
I'm such an asshole. [ Mouths words ]
351
00:12:45,660 --> 00:12:48,228
[ Whispers ] Asshole. Asshole!
352
00:12:48,263 --> 00:12:49,997
You're an asshole!
353
00:12:50,031 --> 00:12:51,832
God!
354
00:12:51,866 --> 00:12:53,300
Look, I know I was a dick,
355
00:12:53,334 --> 00:12:54,735
but I didn't deserve to do destroyed.
356
00:12:54,769 --> 00:12:57,838
- I was fair to you.
- No, you weren't.
357
00:12:57,872 --> 00:13:00,908
This was our house, not your house.
358
00:13:00,942 --> 00:13:04,478
I made this house what it
was, and I wanted my half.
359
00:13:05,164 --> 00:13:06,713
All right. All right.
360
00:13:06,748 --> 00:13:08,141
Relax.
361
00:13:09,719 --> 00:13:11,476
I... That makes sense.
362
00:13:11,501 --> 00:13:14,586
I don't think I ever really
thought of it like that.
363
00:13:15,410 --> 00:13:18,345
Isn't it painful for you to live here?
364
00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:20,890
[ Sighs] I don't really think about it.
365
00:13:20,915 --> 00:13:23,183
But now that you mention
it, yeah. Yeah, okay.
366
00:13:23,217 --> 00:13:25,384
Yeah, it is painful.
Painful for me to live here.
367
00:13:26,174 --> 00:13:28,681
I mean, it doesn't look like
anything's really different.
368
00:13:28,706 --> 00:13:31,512
All of the stuff I
bought is still here.
369
00:13:31,546 --> 00:13:32,813
Well, I don't know what
to tell you, Michelle.
370
00:13:32,848 --> 00:13:34,181
I don't know how to shop.
371
00:13:34,216 --> 00:13:35,370
I don't know how to make things nice.
372
00:13:35,395 --> 00:13:37,698
You know what I mean? It's
not like a shrine to you.
373
00:13:37,723 --> 00:13:39,925
It's just... I'm lazy, that's all.
374
00:13:41,957 --> 00:13:43,758
- You sure?
- All right. Well, I just...
375
00:13:43,792 --> 00:13:45,629
You know, I just like that picture.
376
00:13:45,654 --> 00:13:48,059
That was, uh, that was
the day we got Boomer.
377
00:13:48,942 --> 00:13:50,765
He's gone, too.
378
00:13:51,426 --> 00:13:52,895
He was a good guy.
379
00:13:53,034 --> 00:13:54,176
Sorry.
380
00:13:57,639 --> 00:13:59,332
Yeah, I don't know where he is.
381
00:13:59,708 --> 00:14:01,575
It's sad.
382
00:14:01,610 --> 00:14:03,602
At least I know where you are.
383
00:14:05,213 --> 00:14:07,114
[ Sighs deeply ]
384
00:14:16,224 --> 00:14:18,415
Why would you keep that chair?
385
00:14:19,928 --> 00:14:21,962
'Cause I could fix it.
386
00:14:24,065 --> 00:14:25,745
[ Crying ] Please, just let me leave, Marc.
387
00:14:25,767 --> 00:14:27,653
No! No! I can't take it anymore!
388
00:14:27,678 --> 00:14:30,137
I don't want you to go,
all right? I'm sorry!
389
00:14:30,172 --> 00:14:33,307
All right? You can't
go! I said I was sorry!
390
00:14:33,341 --> 00:14:35,009
Your promises, they don't mean anything
391
00:14:35,011 --> 00:14:37,144
'cause you don't change!
392
00:14:37,179 --> 00:14:39,814
- Come on!
- I have to leave! [ Sobs ]
393
00:14:39,848 --> 00:14:41,148
No! You can't go!
394
00:14:41,183 --> 00:14:43,317
Aah! [ Gasps ] [ Wood clatters ]
395
00:14:43,351 --> 00:14:47,254
You're breaking things. I don't feel safe
396
00:14:47,289 --> 00:14:49,123
I'm scared.
397
00:14:49,157 --> 00:14:51,125
[ Voice breaks ] It broke
itself. It's an old chair.
398
00:14:51,159 --> 00:14:55,095
Please. Just let me leave, Marc. It's over.
399
00:14:55,130 --> 00:14:56,897
But what about...
400
00:14:56,932 --> 00:14:58,766
- No, don't. Just...
- I don't love you anymore.
401
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,502
- Don't, Marc. Just don't.
- Don't go. No!
402
00:15:01,536 --> 00:15:03,409
What am I gonna do? [ Sobs ]
403
00:15:04,929 --> 00:15:06,574
Maybe this wasn't a good idea.
404
00:15:06,598 --> 00:15:07,823
Maybe you're right.
405
00:15:07,847 --> 00:15:09,847
Whose idea was it? Why did you agree to it?
406
00:15:10,312 --> 00:15:13,948
My publicist said your
podcast was the best one to do.
407
00:15:13,982 --> 00:15:16,183
I thought it would be okay.
408
00:15:16,951 --> 00:15:18,185
It's fine.
409
00:15:18,521 --> 00:15:20,623
It's gonna be fine, Michelle.
410
00:15:21,289 --> 00:15:23,044
That was a long time
ago. [ Whispers ] Yeah.
411
00:15:23,069 --> 00:15:30,431
412
00:15:30,465 --> 00:15:32,700
I-i was just happy at the end of the book
413
00:15:32,734 --> 00:15:35,769
that you and your father,
you know, worked stuff out.
414
00:15:35,804 --> 00:15:38,706
Well... I don't know if you
actually read the book or not,
415
00:15:38,740 --> 00:15:42,209
but thanks for at least
doing some research.
416
00:15:42,244 --> 00:15:43,677
- What are you talking about?
- [ Chuckles ]
417
00:15:43,712 --> 00:15:46,780
We were together for nine years, Michelle.
418
00:15:46,815 --> 00:15:49,009
Do you not remember the good times we had?
419
00:15:49,034 --> 00:15:51,218
I mean, we used to talk. A lot.
420
00:15:51,253 --> 00:15:52,820
I know, Marc.
421
00:15:52,854 --> 00:15:55,389
Look, I don't wanna
talk about what we were,
422
00:15:55,423 --> 00:15:56,991
'cause we've both moved on.
423
00:15:57,025 --> 00:15:59,560
Okay, I-I know I agreed to
only talk about the book,
424
00:15:59,594 --> 00:16:02,062
but I just... in hindsight,
425
00:16:02,097 --> 00:16:04,164
I-I need you to know
that I was devastated.
426
00:16:04,199 --> 00:16:05,633
Okay, we're not gonna talk about that now.
427
00:16:05,667 --> 00:16:09,670
I-I-I was just an
insecure guy, angry.
428
00:16:09,704 --> 00:16:12,840
I was not capable of having adult feelings.
429
00:16:12,874 --> 00:16:14,575
Can we please
just talk about the book?
430
00:16:14,609 --> 00:16:17,478
And then when you split,
you said you wanted
431
00:16:17,512 --> 00:16:20,214
a trial separation for three months.
432
00:16:20,248 --> 00:16:21,749
We're done. And then when it was over,
433
00:16:21,783 --> 00:16:23,584
you had not made up your
mind, so I called your bluff,
434
00:16:23,618 --> 00:16:25,185
and I filed for divorce.
435
00:16:25,220 --> 00:16:27,021
Bluff?!
436
00:16:29,293 --> 00:16:31,425
I wasn't bluffing.
437
00:16:32,207 --> 00:16:34,662
I was trying to figure out what to do.
438
00:16:34,696 --> 00:16:36,096
All right, if I hadn't had done that,
439
00:16:36,131 --> 00:16:37,598
if I had not had...
440
00:16:37,632 --> 00:16:40,034
If I hadn't had filed for divorce,
441
00:16:40,036 --> 00:16:41,435
would you have come back?
442
00:16:41,469 --> 00:16:42,937
We're not talking about that.
443
00:16:42,971 --> 00:16:45,539
- Just answer the question!
- Yes, Marc!
444
00:16:47,142 --> 00:16:50,411
Yes. I would have.
445
00:16:50,955 --> 00:16:52,246
[ Exhales deeply ]
446
00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:55,049
Shit. That's so sad.
447
00:16:55,051 --> 00:16:56,450
Can we just end this thing?
448
00:16:56,484 --> 00:16:59,587
Yeah, one second.
We'll just, we'll end it.
449
00:16:59,621 --> 00:17:01,422
I'll decide when we're gonna
end it. [ Sighs deeply ]
450
00:17:01,456 --> 00:17:04,091
We're gonna end it. We'll just...
451
00:17:04,125 --> 00:17:06,093
[ Inhales deeply, exhales sharply ]
452
00:17:08,074 --> 00:17:11,487
Well, I think that went about
as good as can be expected.
453
00:17:12,043 --> 00:17:14,278
You sure you don't wanna get back together?
454
00:17:14,421 --> 00:17:16,489
Positive.
455
00:17:17,438 --> 00:17:20,039
Despite our past, I...
456
00:17:20,064 --> 00:17:22,999
Really am happy that things
are going so well for you.
457
00:17:23,024 --> 00:17:25,526
Well, thanks. I appreciate you saying that.
458
00:17:25,899 --> 00:17:28,634
Hey, can you do me a favor,
459
00:17:28,669 --> 00:17:30,236
and cut that last part
460
00:17:30,270 --> 00:17:33,298
where I said I would've come back to you?
461
00:17:33,554 --> 00:17:35,522
It would hurt my husband.
462
00:17:35,611 --> 00:17:38,140
Really? I mean, you were just being honest.
463
00:17:38,165 --> 00:17:41,082
I-I-I still look like the fool.
It's... it's a sad story.
464
00:17:41,117 --> 00:17:43,285
Well, can you do it for me, then?
465
00:17:43,319 --> 00:17:45,287
I'll see how it sounds.
466
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:48,757
You feel bad about how you treated me?
467
00:17:48,791 --> 00:17:50,757
Then do right by me now.
468
00:17:53,062 --> 00:17:54,529
I'll think about it.
469
00:18:01,504 --> 00:18:03,338
[ Groans ]
470
00:18:03,372 --> 00:18:07,876
471
00:18:07,910 --> 00:18:10,111
Thank you. I'm gonna air it. Screw her.
472
00:18:10,146 --> 00:18:11,506
All right, it was an honest moment.
473
00:18:11,514 --> 00:18:12,848
I don't care about her husband.
474
00:18:12,882 --> 00:18:14,616
Why don't you just do the right thing?
475
00:18:14,650 --> 00:18:15,984
Well, it sounds like he is.
476
00:18:16,018 --> 00:18:18,186
Her husband is the not the enemy.
477
00:18:18,221 --> 00:18:19,249
Let me ask you a question, Andy.
478
00:18:19,274 --> 00:18:21,165
What if they were screwing
before we were separated?
479
00:18:21,190 --> 00:18:22,436
Would he be the enemy then?
480
00:18:22,445 --> 00:18:25,647
Would you be man enough to
assess the situation properly?
481
00:18:25,681 --> 00:18:27,115
You know, if that were the case,
482
00:18:27,149 --> 00:18:29,751
you would be allowed to
kill him in some cultures.
483
00:18:29,785 --> 00:18:31,225
You don't know if that even happened.
484
00:18:31,253 --> 00:18:32,720
It was a long time ago.
485
00:18:32,755 --> 00:18:34,989
This whole interview was a bad idea.
486
00:18:35,024 --> 00:18:37,425
It's dredging up old feelings.
487
00:18:37,460 --> 00:18:38,993
Everyone has moved on, Marc.
488
00:18:39,028 --> 00:18:40,662
I think Dave and I are both wondering,
489
00:18:40,696 --> 00:18:42,564
whose side are you on, Andy?
490
00:18:42,598 --> 00:18:44,165
What is this, a Western?
491
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:45,900
- All right. I'm going.
- Are you gonna kill him?
492
00:18:45,935 --> 00:18:48,803
- I'm gonna kill him. You wanna come?
- Oh, hell, yes.
493
00:18:48,838 --> 00:18:51,473
[ Grunts ] You know I'm
not really gonna kill him.
494
00:18:51,507 --> 00:18:53,007
[ Goofy voice ]
Oh, you're not gonna kill him?
495
00:18:53,042 --> 00:18:54,642
- Mnh-Mnh.
- But I thought you were.
496
00:18:54,677 --> 00:18:56,711
[ Whispers ] Jesus, Marc.
497
00:18:58,781 --> 00:19:00,215
[ Chuckles ]
498
00:19:08,485 --> 00:19:11,587
I don't know if you
actually read the book,
499
00:19:11,611 --> 00:19:13,495
But thanks for at least
doing some research.
500
00:19:13,496 --> 00:19:16,865
[ tapping key ]
501
00:19:17,225 --> 00:19:18,708
Alright, so if I hadn't done that,
502
00:19:18,733 --> 00:19:21,239
if I had not filed for divorce,
503
00:19:21,264 --> 00:19:23,825
- would you have come back?
- We're not talking about that.
504
00:19:23,850 --> 00:19:26,005
- Just answer the question!
- Yes, Marc!
505
00:19:26,030 --> 00:19:27,642
Yes. I would have.
506
00:19:29,583 --> 00:19:31,713
Shit. That is so sad.
507
00:19:32,442 --> 00:19:35,316
Can we just end this thing?
508
00:19:35,786 --> 00:19:37,841
I-I'll decide when we end this thing.
509
00:19:39,522 --> 00:19:40,822
[ Taps ]
510
00:19:40,856 --> 00:19:46,394
[ Tapping keys ]
511
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:52,800
[ Taps key ]
512
00:19:52,835 --> 00:19:54,402
I don't know if you
actually read the book,
513
00:19:54,436 --> 00:19:57,686
but thanks for at least
doing some research.
514
00:19:57,711 --> 00:20:01,124
Thank you, Michelle Coyote.
It was nice catching up.
515
00:20:01,149 --> 00:20:03,311
And I really hope your book sells.
516
00:20:03,345 --> 00:20:05,547
Uh, it's a good read.
517
00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:07,215
And... and it was... It
was great seeing you again.
518
00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:10,985
All right, it was... it
was hard, but it was great.
519
00:20:11,020 --> 00:20:12,887
Thanks, Marc.
520
00:20:12,922 --> 00:20:14,289
[ Sniffs ]
521
00:20:18,227 --> 00:20:19,794
[ Grunts ]
522
00:20:26,022 --> 00:20:27,756
Marc: Look, I know why she left me.
523
00:20:27,790 --> 00:20:29,257
I just don't know why
524
00:20:29,292 --> 00:20:32,127
she had to destroy my life in a divorce.
525
00:20:32,161 --> 00:20:33,929
Heartbreak is horrible,
526
00:20:33,963 --> 00:20:36,131
and it never really goes away.
527
00:20:36,163 --> 00:20:38,975
It just... Fades into a dull ache
528
00:20:39,001 --> 00:20:41,803
that hovers in the background,
waiting to be summoned
529
00:20:41,838 --> 00:20:46,341
when you're feeling nostalgic
for the mistakes you made.
530
00:20:46,375 --> 00:20:48,276
That's on me, though. All right?
531
00:20:48,311 --> 00:20:50,812
I gotta move forward. I know.
532
00:20:50,847 --> 00:20:53,749
I gotta make little fixes
where and when I can,
533
00:20:53,783 --> 00:20:56,685
not make things worse,
not hold on to the past.
534
00:20:56,719 --> 00:20:58,920
I hate it.
535
00:20:58,944 --> 00:21:01,032
This whole being an adult thing
536
00:21:01,057 --> 00:21:02,657
is...
537
00:21:02,692 --> 00:21:04,292
difficult.
538
00:21:04,716 --> 00:21:11,691
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
- www.addic7ed.com -
539
00:21:11,741 --> 00:21:16,291
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